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Worst “Bathroom Emergency” Stories
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ย. 2021
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My heart and bowels go out to that first fella. The story had everything; blood, sweat and tears....and puke..and..poop..
Well put, sir!
He suffered the dreaded Double Dragon
@@serge263 lol. That is horrible
And possibly death
Never knew I would enjoy other people’s strangers misery so much.
What a nightmare
it makes us feel better about our lives
*TEACHERS, IF A KID NEEDS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, LET THEM. YOU GODDAMN CONTROL FREAK!*
the first story has me literally crying oh my god
Same here dude
Also, why did you put everyone in Doughnut County into a big hole? Just curious
You should listen to the one about people doing stuff on autopilot my stomach hurt after
Oh wow. Poor guy
"Need to find a bathroom, need to find a bathroom, need to find a bathroom"- yeah, how many of us has heard this is our heads organically?
and "food food food food food food..."
Then there's also..
"AHHHHH-"
I woke my whole house up laughing 🤣 hysterically at that first story! They're all hysterical 😂 but the first one? DAMN 😂
That first one is just painful to read…
I totally lost it at "when my dad got back to the car, he stepped on it"... I can just imagine some dude being utterly confused like "WTF? In the middle of a parking lot? I don't remember there being a shit there 15 minutes ago when I walked past" hahaha
Nah that period story is funny as shit my stomach and jaw is hurting from laughing so hard 💀
I was visiting Disney World with my two best friends. We were on the boat crossing the lake heading for Magic Kingdom when one of my friends begins complaining he is feeling queasy. So we go to visit the medical centre and he’s given some chewable pills which make him feel much better. However this also got the flow going because half an hour later we are walking down main street when he stopped dead in his tracks and with panic in his eyes tells us he has to go to the bathroom NOW! As I am running towards a nearby cast member asking for the nearest facilities I go back to my friend who is completely pale. He had an accident right there in the middle of Disneys Main Street. My other friend took him to the bathroom to clean himself up while I went and bought some not at all cheap Mickey Mouse underpants and shorts. So to say my first visit to Disney was shit was quite realistic.
I read that in the TTS voice and went into of a giggle fit😅🤣
I have ibs mild but it still sucks, stress even positive if I've been bad about my diet and this is me sudden onset trauma doesn't help I'm naturally self conscious but yeah this so could be me.
Though with it known by me I generally am very picky on trips to avoid any of this kind of attack.
One day when I was in kindergarten, I got a sudden urge to the bathroom. So I ask the teacher if I can go, and she doesn’t let me. And this point I can’t hold it in anymore, so I pee myself in the chair. This wasn’t the first time I peed my pants in school and it wouldn’t be the last
When my mom and I were in Boston, we visited the Cheers bar in Beacon Hill. I had the "Meister Burger," which was topped off with a healthy portion of mushrooms. It was delicious. After we paid and left, we headed for the Arlington Green Line stop to head back to our hotel. It was at that point that a bubblin' began in my stomach... an evil bubblin'. We boarded the train and got as far as the Government Center stop before the bubblin' turned into full blown mud-butt.
I clenched my ass as hard as I could and tore up the stairs and out onto the sidewalk, sweat pouring down my face and in an absolute panic as I searched for any viable option. The first place I tried was a CVS pharmacy, but they had no public restroom. Luckily, there was an Irish pub next door that the clerk pointed me towards, so I ran in and headed straight for the men's room.
BOTH OF THE TOILETS WERE OCCUPIED.
It was all I could do not to scream and/or shit in the sink as I stood in absolute agony, sweat pouring down my face and my ass ready to blow. After what seemed like hours but was only about a few seconds, one of the toilets flushed and the stall's occupant left. I practically teleported into the stall, pulled down my pants and underwear, and let loose. I spent about ten minutes in there making sure my pipes were clear before I dared to leave. And yes, it was a two-flush job.
I sat down next to my mom at the bar, ordered a Guinness, and rested my head on the counter. This was the first, and only, time that I had ever been completely exhausted after taking a shit, and I hope to God it remains the only time.
That was epic, dude. 🤣.
I dare you try colonoscopy prep. TWICE.
I felt the same way when I was on the way home from Massachusetts. I was severely constipated, and when I got back to my aunt's house, I ran to the bathroom. I pooped a lot, and I found out I had covid a few days later. I had it for 3 weeks.
Remember to have your drunk friends eat pickled eggs to increase potency of farts and poops
There's two kinds of people lol
Story 1:
Happened a couple months ago, wasn't as bad as it could've been.
Me and my friends decided to go for a safari, we had to leave at 2am, so they all decided to order in some chicken, I'm a vegetarian, so I went out and are something else. I couldn't sleep, but at around 1am, I felt the need to poop, but I was staying at their house, and they have the smallest little toilet I ever seen, and they pee without lifting the toilet seat, so I had no intention of using it to poop, so I hold it in. We left in a rented car at 2am, and reached the safari destination at 5am, safari started at 6am after a long queue,
Now I'm extremely sleep deprived, ate god knows what the previous day, now I know I need to poop, and I'm also kinda thinking I'm gonna vomit.
I tried using the public toilet, but someone had painted the entire toilet inside and out brown with poop. So I held it in more.
I couldn't even fart because u obviously don't trust my farts at this point.
Then after safari, we had breakfast, went to a couple more places. And back home(their home) at around 4pm,
I was extremely sleepy, and I can't end up crapping my pants in my friends' bed,
So had to make a decision.
Use their stupid toilet.
The room was so small, I could barely close the door while the door pushed on my knees.
Both my elbows touching the walls,
I cleaned the seat well before sitting,
Then empties my entire large intestine, and probably some small intestine too,
Went to spray my ass,
The stupid spray faucet is almost just dripping with water instead of spraying, and there's not enough space to reach all the way down my asshole,
Then when I went to flush, the entire bowl is filled with thick brown liquid, but flushing only adds to the volume, and barely too, it's basically just dripping over the toilet.
I came out, got a bucket of water from the bathroom, and dumped it.
There's still some pellets left,
One more bucket,
Then one more,
Toilet is finally cleared.
I went down to the bathroom,
Turned on the water, and proceeded to wash my asshole with and, using a mug of water, on the bathroom floor,
I had to make sure bathroom floor is perfectly clean afterwards.
Then I took a shower and finally went to sleep...
This whole video is one long stand-up comedy act. I love it.
I went to my sister's house once to hang out/play video games. We had catfish for dinner and the breading we used was a Cajun style. So it was hot. I love hot stuff. I ended up eating 4-5 full size catfish filets and didn't have any trouble. At least at the time. A few hours later she drives me back home and we sit around talking a little more before she heads back to her house. It was then that my night would take a turn for the worse. I feel the urge to go and walk to the bathroom, not feeling that anything was amiss. I couldn't have been more wrong. What came out of me was the temperature and viscosity of molten magma. Never before had I felt such raw fury dribble from my nether region. Each volley was pure agony. And I could only hold on and wait for this hell demon to vacate my bowels. Approximately 30 minutes later I exited the bathroom, drenched in sweat, weak in the knees and my brown eye was wreathed in flames that would put Sauron's great eye to shame. It would be another two hours before I could sit right again. The moral of this story: There is definitely too much of a good thing. Live in moderation.
I had been telling my step dad I had to use the bathroom for about 30 minutes and instead of stopping at the first gas station he insisted we drive to the next one which was closed.
He then stepped on the gas and kept diving and I began screaming, I eventually said “if you don’t turn the car around right now I am going to poop all over your backseat and will not be the one cleaning it!”
By the time we had turned around and I was climbing out of the backseat I shit all over his daughter(there was three of us in the backseat and I was squished in the middle)
And true to my word I didn’t clean a single bit. He had to clean up his screaming kid and the backseat of the car all on his own
❤
"...in a matter of 60 seconds I had vacated some sort of matter from the majority of my orifices."
That bit about killed me. LOL! I swear, the way people word some of these stories is just brilliant!
The first half didn't get me, but then.. then i started laughing uncontrollably
Man, whats w these teachers.?!! Little children got little bladders, how would they like it if they were denied the basic human right to relieve themself!!
I literally was _just_ explaining the concept of "the poop sweats" to my wife not 2 minutes before I found this video in my suggested videos...while on the toilet...recovering from the poop sweats. 🤦🏻♀️😂
Also, anybody else find that a drive "shakes things loose"? I have a specific doctor's office I have to go to now and again and it never seems to fail, even if I go before heading to my appt, the drive home from that place always has me needing to go by the time I get home! Sometimes it's just a slight rumble and other times it's more of a photo finish. The road isn't even particularly bumpy or anything so I've got no idea what it's about. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😂
I have interstitial cystitis so my whole life has been a bathroom horror story.
Same here. I have IBS as well
I added more eggs and spinach to my diet once and it caused a blowout on a path in a public park. The worst part of the experience was that after I was hobbled over trying to do everything in my power to prevent the blast and failed, the seal was breached and I just kept going because once that line is crossed the pain relief to embarrassment ratio changes massively. That and having to clean my shower with bleach. Luckily for me it was dark out so I ninja'd home
Hey! These stories cured my constipation
Awesome
Congratulations! I hope that you had a great poop ! 💩
r/cursedcomments dang it!
Congrats 💩
this is why you keep a change of clothes and a tp roll in your car
Hey teachers, kids aren't some magical beings at holding it. So if a kid has to go, let them fricking go.
3:29 India I get that’s how you do toilets and it makes sense when it’s in your house or in a restaurant, but on a moving train?! How can anyone go with peace of mind while trying to main balance in a squat.
I heard Hong Kong has squat toilets on buses. That might be even worse.
20:53 I LOVE IT WHEN IT DOES THIS
🤣
food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food
what the hell causes that glitch?
I am so so sorry, but the first story, just the sentance, "I was crying and puking and farting..." I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I'm so so sorry to this read-it user and I feel your pain with gluten-intollerance and feeling like I was going to have those moments but I have tears in my eyes from laughing. Both laughing too hard and feel really bad for that person.
Oh boy.
So have you ever had to pee while sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic at a border station? Yeah. By the time we got to a toilet I had been holding it for eight hours straight, and to top it all off, my parents yelled at me for my "thoughtlessness". We'd been driving nonstop for about three hours before that, what was I supposed to do, piss in a cup?
Everyone has a Taco Bell story. Everyone. I will never have a 2nd Taco Bell story though. Got wicked bad food poisoning from them about 10 years ago. Haven't been back again, never will go again.
Yeah there food has a tendency to cause food poisoning. I got really Sick one time to. Needless to say I don’t eat there anymore
One time I was at my sister's wedding I really had to poop, Which is hard as fuck in a dress (I'm a lady). So I snuck to the bathroom and dropped a log. Nobody knew it was me!
Plus well lets say it is very hard to have diarrhea quietly in a public bathroom at a bookstore
I was at work one night and I had to poop AND I MEAN POOP. So I ran to the bathroom and befowled and to say the least, it. Was .foul!
I did something similar, but I was at a swimming pool, and I unknowingly went into the men's room. I pooped in the men's room when I was a young child.
I flooded the school bathroom in the beginning of the year and shut it down for most of the year.
What is wrong with teachers who don't let kids go to the bathrooms?! I witnessed a few situations when I was a kid about exactly this as well - and I don't get it any more now than I did back then. I mean, "oh, they might be trying to skip class!" but like... it's better to let them go and make note of who uses the excuse to skip class and who doesn't.
So, I'm sitting here on a Sunday morning listening to this and my wife casually tells me 'if you find this stuff funny - I thought I had to fart the other day but then crapped my pants'. I died 😂😂😂
This happened recently I was working on a short film in Brooklyn and I live in NJ so for 3 day straight it was early morning to catch my train, long work hours and mental fatigue. My parents were off visiting my brother at his college so I had to walk about eleven minutes home. After picking up a celebratory beer to have when I get home since it was the last day of filming, and a block after I leave the liquor store the need to crap went from I can hold it to holy shit I may crap myself. I had not had a proper crap due to stress related to traveling in the city and it being my first gig as assistant camera. The feeling got worse and worse the closer I got to my house, but at that point o was done with the world and swore to myself that I wasn’t gonna shit myself especially not since I went through all that walking and train riding after getting the door open I don’t even give myself time to put my stuff down before I get on the toilet and my ass erupts in a massive deluge of crap. After that i felt a few pounds lighter and then just enjoyed my weekend of having the house to myself.
My family used to take fishing trips to Lake of the Woods in Canada. One of those days I had a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes, the works. Well we're out on the boat and I get the *feeling*. I think "oh no", try to convince myself it won't happen. Nope. The pressure builds. Finally, I have to ask the dreaded question: "Permission to go ashore?"
Now, luckily, Lake of the Woods, on the Ontario side, has tons of islands, so it wasn't too difficult to pull up to one, and for me to grab the TP and start for a clearing. Away from the boat, of course. Need to find a log.... there! I drop my pants, get on the log, prepare... and the log breaks, and I tumble back into a bed of pine needles. *Somehow*, I don't shit myself there and then. I untangle myself, find somewhere to aim downhill, and drop and squat. Do my business without getting any on my pants or shoes (hooray!), clean up, and then look through a few trees to see someone's summer cabin chilling merrily on this island. ... Oh. Well, hopefully they won't come this way again. I quickly went back to the shore and got on the boat, and considered myself a real man that day.
One day I was sick at school and had to throw up. I asked the teacher if I could go to the toilet and she was uncooperative, so by the time I had convinced her to let me go I had no chance of making it, resulting in me throwing up all over the cloakroom floor. The worst part was that the next guy who went to the toilet came back crying because he had slipped and fallen over in it. I was only 5 at the time so it could have been worse, but it sucked pretty hard at the time.
I witnessed a kid in kindergarten throw up macaroni and cheese on the carpet we were sitting on. The kid went home early. I hope he is doing ok today.
20:24 food food food food food food food food
Guess you need to find the bathroom.
As a kid in little league baseball back in the 90s, I had to pee so bad that my ancestors could feel it. I was playing left field and in the middle of an inning, ran to the dugout to ask my coach if I could go to the bathroom. He yelled at me and told me to get back on the field. Of course, after the inning ended, I was first up to bat and I wound up peeing my pants while in the batter's box hahaha. Strange thing was, while expecting everyone, including the crowd, to erupt into laughter, nothing happened. It was a rainy, sloppy, muddy night game and I guess my pants were already gross enough for no one to notice, except my mom the next day when she did laundry.
Needing to f-ing poop when stuck in traffic jam an hour after drinking McDonald’s coffee… .
Never again!
"-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND-LY TO FIND"
🤯 How hard is it to give the video a listen after you're done editing??
I was on my way to my partners at the time. Im in my car doing the 25minute drive and I that feeling. You know the one. It wasn’t that bad so I figured I could make it. I get to a point where I realize the amount of traffic (that I swear came out of absolutely no where) was going to outlast me and I take a back road that I know I can speed down no problem we’ll I get stuck behind a god damn garbage truck doing it’s rounds on a windy road and at this point I’m sweating the urge is strong but I’m sure I can make it if I can get around this truck. Cheeks clenched and sweating I see the truck turn off and I gas it. I’m stil 15 minutes away and I really did start to panic. I’m shaking, I’m crying, I’m really testing the limits on my butthole and I’m driving like a crazy person. I started scouting out places to pull over but there was nothing I get to about 1 minute from his place and I get start throwing all my shit into my purse my seatbelt is off I’m ready to go. I pray there is a parking spot. Fuck ya there’s a spot right infront And I start running to the door and the fob starts acting up and I’m noticeably covered in sweat. I see the elevator is on the top floor and I press the button and contemplate the stairs but I knew that there was no way I wouldn’t shit myself trying to run. The doors open I run in and hit more buttons, get to the top and the doors open and I run into some random passerby just bulldozed him over (don’t stand directly infront of the elevator) and I am FRANTICALLY trying to unlock his door and there open! Keys are in the door not shut behind me and straight into the bathroom Nd I notice him try and jump scare me and I just screamed NOT NOW and I made it. The floods started and it was HOT. This was a no clothes kind of shit. IBS is a wild ride
Not mine but saw the end result of a failed desperate attempt to answer natures call. Was in high school. It was lunch time. I was leaving class with some friends to hit up the cafeteria. As we started down the hallway there was the faintest smell of feces. I assumed someone ahead in the crowd had crop dusted us. As we walk further down the hallway the stench gets stronger and stronger. It becomes overwhelming. I'm gagging and my eyes are watering.We're close to whatever the stench is. I look to my right at the door to an empty classroom. It looks like someone had spread their butt cheeks and unleashed a torrent of whatever ungodly monstrosity they have been desperately trying to hold. The door and portion of the alcove were just splattered and smeared with excrement. Whomever the unlucky soul was to leave behind such an offensive aroma had taken notebook paper and crumpled it and used it as toilet paper. I feel horrible for the poor custodian who had to mop and pick up bits of shitty notebook paper.
The train dysentery + vomit - I nearly experienced it. I managed not to vomit by literally painfully training my body to reroute it as shit. Needless to say, people DIDN'T want to visit that bathroom until the destination. No, I didn't shit myself on the way to it, but the stench released from my bowels as soon as I emptied my stomach... corpses smell better than that.
When I was 17 and a junior in high school. I drank a lot of water at times. One day in drama class, I had to use the bathroom really bad. I held my pee in the whole class and felt like I was going to pee my pants any minute. Finally the bell rang for class to be dismissed and I ran like crazy getting to the toilet. When I made it to the bathroom, it felt so much better.
Near miss story:
I was a middle school student doing make ups for when you missed a test. I had to retake it because is was incredibly sick the night prior. Anyway, we are at computer lab doing a test makeups (keep in mind, this was an FSA test, so very important) so here is a class of 17- 20 students doing make ups, until the dreadful sound of an iPhone notification went off, my teacher was confused, as well as the class, and asked whose phone it was. No one said anything, so she threatened to invalidate the whole class’ tests if she had to. No one still spilled the beans. At this point, I really have to go to the bathroom. My teacher called an administrator, and notified them about the problem, 5 mins later, she gets on the phone with some person official. It’s at this point the whole class wants someone to just admit who it was, this was all a 40 minute event, and my urge to go to the bathroom grew stronger by the second, so I got up and asked to go to the bathroom, to which I got shut down almost immediately. So it was at this point the whole class became restless, and 1 girl even started crying, and while all this was going down, all I could think about was the fact that I was mere moments away for causing a very embarrassing mistake. I was beginning to grow impatient, and went to check my bag, it was not my phone who made the ding. So the second time I asked the teacher to go to the bathroom, she’d finally let me go.
So yeh, that’s the story of how I almost p’d myself in the middle of a full classroom
1 scary detail I left out, the culprit of the mystery phone ding was one seat away from me so that was a very close call on getting my test canceled, and almost peeing myself in class. So I practically dodged 2 bullets that day.
This teacher sounds like a bitch. May she rot in hell for all eternity. Glad you dodged both bullets.
Funniest thing for me, I’ve never had a problem with Taco Bell. It’s never given me a crap explosion like I hear so many other people experience. The first time I got horrid food poisoning was from undercooked teriyaki chicken. Not the worst since it only lasted one day, but for me, it was the worst thing I had ever experienced. At one point I couldn’t move off of the floor of the bathroom because I was so nauseous I thought I would puke as soon as I moved an inch upward. Fuck that mess. Fuck that restaurant.
That very first one..I..CANT...BREATHE!!!!!😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂
I had severe food poisoning once- thanks to KFC left out after work for a couple of hours...
Everything came out of me at the same time for several hours 😬, it was horrific and painful.
I was 17.
My second-hand embarrassment can’t handle this xD
I have two crap stories to share. The first time was when I was going to Time Warner (now Spectrum) to set up some wifi in my first apartment. Not sure what I ate that day but as soon as I get to the parking lot, I tell my Mom I need to go home to use a bathroom. She rushes me to her apartment and I spend a good amount of time in the bathroom, looking at my briefs that had sustained a bit of a casualty from my sudden diarrhea attack.
The second happened when I was walking to my Mom's house to pick up a package that got sent their by accident. Halfway there, I had a sudden urge to drop a turd but was way too far away from a toilet and knew walking would be too painful and almost impossible. I called my Mom to pick me up near an intersection but knew I'd have crap in my pants if I waited, so I used the little woods area I was next too to hide myself and did my business. My Mom thankfully let me use her shower and washer.
The very first story..... goodness that sounds like hell hahahaha
So I used to work for a company that did a lot of outdoor work. Some places we went to would provide us lunch. That day the lunch didn't agree with me. I really needed to go but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it for fear of getting teased by my coworkers. One guy decided to follow me to the row of port-o-potties much to my dismay. I ended up letting loose explosive diarrhea the sound of which was amplified by the plastic walls of the portable toilet. When I came out my coworker was barely suppressing laughter and of course just had to tell the whole crew about what happened.
The jacuzzi story must have been a nightmare
One of the funniest videos, totally 😆
Thank you
Now I’ve never done cocaine. But it must be a hell of a drug. Being willing to inhale through your nostril while a random person is having a major bowel blowout in the same room? Addiction is real, y’all.
20:25 Our stomachs when they’re empty..
"Crying and pooping and pouring blood all at the same time" 🤣 awww
Holy... this is the nightmare of nightmare videos :O
Laughed to tears so many times
Omg I can't believe I've been cracking up this whole time! This is the most funniest video I've ever seen!
The first story made me laugh so hard my chest started hurting geez loueez
Story 1 makes my emetaphobic butt want to never set foot in a plane
didn't u find it at least funny? loll
I’ve had issues with my bowels but luckily I was at home and didn’t have to deal with leaving somewhere feeling ashamed of myself.
Note to self never watch/read a Reddit post like this walking home. I looked insane laughing as people drived by.
We have two bathrooms in our house, there's only 3 people at any one time. So usually there isn't a problem with people getting a toilet if they need it. That changes though if one person is taking a shower. Yep, I had to go with one person in the shower and the other taking a week-long dump. Ugh.
That taco bell one is hilarious
That 1st and second story are my favorites
how are u going to tell someone who is vomiting blood to calm down tf
Haha man lesson learned. Don’t watch these just after having eaten lol
Good God, that first story. 😭
I had to go once in elementary school and I was on the bus. My stomach was hurting so bad that I was crying. My neighbor who I didn't like made fun of me once the next year on the bus for that incident. She once asked the bus driver to reserve some seats for her and her friends for her birthday. That was the main reason why I didn't like her. When I got off the bus I ran to my house like a lightning bolt. This also happened on Valentines day too.
So the cop takes one look at the guy and one whiff of the car and says you know what frick it,gets in his car and drives away 🤣
I promise just last night l was thinking that this would make a great video and here it is.
if the first one was used for an ad to get you to stop drinking alcohol companies would go bankrupt.
I had to poop in the woods really bad once. So I ran off, dropped my pants, and heaved. Liquid. I didn't shit in my pants, I shat ON them... on a boy scout wednesday activity. I think I ended up throwing away my underwear and possibly the shorts. Mom was mortified when I got home. This is why I don't shit in the woods anymore.
I had just got done enjoying several burritos with extra guacamole sauce and was going to go home. I had my old Jeep with no doors, top, windows. On the way home, the four burritos started cleaning out my colon early. I had to make an emergency stop a a petrol station. I ran into the restroom and as soon as my bare bottom barely touched the toilet seat, I exploded with great vigor and pressure. I sat there for about 50 minutes until it seemed that all my bodily fluids had been expelled through my anus. At the 51st moment I just sat there relaxed and in a daze. Then I reached for the toilet paper. After all, no job is done without the paper work. But alas, there was no toilet paper. For a few short minutes, I felt a panic come over me. Then I thought I can just use my underwear to wipe up and the hand foam to clean my bottom. It took a few minutes but my bottom was as clean as the day i was born when the nurse finished bathing me.
I then threw the underwear in the toilet and flushed! It was a tragic mistake! The filthy water filled with floating beans, corn, and peas as well as the usual feces, started to rise and overflow. I saw the water approaching my shoes. So I put on my shorts without underwear. I was afraid to pinch Captain Winky the one eyed pirate with the zipper so I left the shorts open. I grabbed the plunger with know luck. Then the water started spilling over at quite a large volume. It was disgusting! So I ran out the bathroom door and an old lady stated yelling, "Pervert! Pervert! Pervert! That young guy has his pants open so I could see his, "Mister!" Help me! He is showing me his, "Mister." I pulled my shorts up as high as I could but not zipping the zipper for fear of a nasty pinch. I jumped in my Jeep but with no doors top, nor windows, she was still seeing what had flopped out of the front my shorts. I started trying to cover y myself and the old lady started yelling, "He's looking at me and playing with himself! Help! He's going to take me!" I forgot about covering up and started the Jeep and got out of there. I had to stop behind a dumpster a few kilometers away to close up the front of my shorts and zip up the zipper. I will never forget that most unfortunate of events.
Stopped at a gas station on a long drive with my family. We were at an intersection with a different gas station on every corner of that intersection. First gas station, occupied, second gas station has a pay toilet, third gas station out of order, fourth gas station had a pile of shit in the toilet higher than the seat of the toilet. That was the dirtiest nastiest bathroom I have ever seen, it looked like it hadn't been cleaned once since when ever that gas station was first built, I have seen used port-a-potties cleaner than this bathroom ran back to where I started, asked my dad for money cause the original gas station bathroom was still occupied and then ran across again back to where the pay toilet was. Running across a busy intersection five times when you have to use the bathroom... worst bathroom emergency EVER!
Also once had to use a bathroom with NO GAWD DAMN DOORS. I already had the gaps in the stalls in most public restrooms but finding a restroom that doesn't even have doors at all so anyone walking by can just stand there and watch you shit... that's a nightmare bathroom. I need my privacy damn it! I later found out there was another restroom a few feet away with doors and as soon as I found that out I never went to the dreaded we don't believe in Privacy restrooms ever again. I swear bathrooms without doors should be illegal, I don't care if we have the same parts or not, if anyone is going to see me naked I'd actually prefer we DIDN'T have the same parts and if I'm taking a crap I just don't care no one wants to see that literal shit.
Honestly almost every time I have to use a public restroon is a nightmare... I have some bad early childhood trauma that happened in public restrooms and I get PTSD whenever I have to use one so I try to avoid it until I can either get to a private bathroom or have no other choice but to use the public restroom and take the risk of what happened to me as a child happening again. Those stupid stalls should be illegal. Real walls that go from floor to ceiling, doors without super obvious gaps, that's what I want to see. I do not want to see someone clearly watching me from outside my stall... again... and I don't want someone coming into my stall because those flimsy locks don't really help that much... again... Yes this happened to me multiple times... and there's other things I can't really remember and don't want to talk about... but I'm freaking terrified of public restrooms... like when I say the bathroom was occupied earlier I mean there was 1 person in a bathroom with three stalls and I still opted to run across the street multiple times rather than use the open stall. I would of gone in there with no other options but I'd much prefer an empty bathroom if at all possible. And I will go out of my way to find the safest bathroom available if at all possible.
I once ran across a parking lot to use a private bathroom I knew was there despite there being a public restroom in the restaurant I was eating at... came back people telling me there was a bathroom I walked right past in the restaurant I know but that bathroom has evil stalls and I hate it! Also got in trouble in school a few times because 1. "Why didn't you go during recess." Because everyone is using it then and I can't. 2. Taking more time than I needed to because I went to a private bathroom further away rather than a public restroom closer to the classroom. Which also made me late for P.E. every day in High School cause I refused to use the locker room.
I live in a country where "the right to privacy" is literally in the constitution yet I find out the stupid gaps is bathroom stalls is an American thing that leaves people open to unwanted violation. WHY THE HELL IS THIS A THING!
whats worst imagine puking before you reach the bathroom
To the find the bathroom-To the find the bathroom-To the find the bathroom-To the find the bathroom-
Ima share a story since it applies to this.
So one day a few weeks before my high school graduation a couple of months ago me and mom went to a laundromat to clean our couch pillows and other big items we went to this indian restaurant across the street from the laundromat I had some peanut butter noodles or something after that we went to my grandma's house. While we were talking and chatting about me graduating i felt what i thought was a tiny fart. Turns out that it was runny diarrhea. For context my grandma is handicapped and has a booster seat to use the toilet. I had to take off the booster seat when I realized that it was dirreha. I spent twenty minutes on the toilet shit runny dirreha.
I think I owe my grandma a new toilet.
Okay, so I used to be an air cadet in Canada. I was about 14-15 at the time, if I recall I was a corporal/flight corporal
We went to a camp ground for a weekend. It’s important to know that, at the time I absolutely hated using portable toilets. And hated going in the bushes. (Friend got poison ivy so I was freaked tf out)
I was absolutely convinced I’d get poison ivy or the toilet would tip over. So I held in my unine. Starting Friday.
I held it. And held it. And we left Sunday. And I was still holding it.
When I got home I took the longest piss of my life. 20 minutes.
To this day the thought of doing that again, my penis and stomach get a sharp stinging pain shooting through them. I’m absolutely convinced I did some permanent damage to my bladder and penis.
Moral of the story. DO NOT HOLD IN YOUR PISS FOR 2 IN A HALF DAYS
When i was in 8th grade during christmas break i never took a shit. It was like 2 weeks. I never noticed any pain or discomfort that whole time but on the first day back to school I was on the bus and my stomach began to hurt soooooo bad like never before. So I got to school and painfully walked to bathroom. I proceeded to fill the toilet with the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen. It was like one turd for everyday I didn't shit. It was seriously a mountain of shit. It like piled out of the water. I couldn't believe it. I just left it there too because I was afraid it wasn't going to flush. Also I was kinda proud.
I have read so many stories where someone leaves a horse dump in school. Other students peek in and wonder who did it.
I had the food poisoning from family funeral. I could feel I'd get the runs. I'm 2 hours and 1 ferry ride from home. I decided I'd better split-something told me to hold it. Sure enough, 2 minutes after unloading once I got home, I vomit uncontrollably for 5 minutes. 5 minute break. Vomit 5 minutes. 5 minute break. Half hour later went to ER. THEY were freaking out. Vomiting SO much, so hard I damaged my trachea and lost over ten pounds in fluids. THANKS FAM!@#$?*
I haven't laughed so hard in so long .... omg. This was perfect.
Here’s my shit story: I was about to go to work when I had the sudden urge to shit. I pull into a firehouse subs, they had just opened their doors for the door for business, I ran into a bathroom and let loose the worst liquid shit I’ve ever conceived. After I’m done filling up what was the bathroom is now a temporary gas chambers, I wipe myself and try to flush but with my luck it doesn’t and it proceeded to rise spewing onto the floor. I tried to run out but was stopped and said that I had to order something cause I used their bathrooms. While I was waiting for my meal to come out I was really hoping and praying no one went in. After receiving and paying for my meal I run out put my meal on top of my car and sped off. After a few hundred feet I realized I left my meal on top of my car still. Oh well
“On my way back from my honeymoon I had decided to stop at a Taco Bell”
That was your first mistake…
I had a severe stomach bug a few months back to the point I thought I was going to end up in hospital.
I’m not exaggerating when I say I felt like I was going to die and I had never ever been so sick, not even as a kid (I’m 25) I threw up stomach contents only once, but dry heaved a few times, mainly in the morning for some reason. However, I had horrendous explosive craps to the point I couldn’t get off of the toilet. There was so much coming out, I don’t even know how the human body can produce so much!!
I kept getting this agonising cramp in the centre of my stomach every few minutes non-stop for 6 days. I couldn’t sleep as every time I even went to climb into bed, my bowel would scream at me to run to the toilet. This happened virtually all night long, with only short periods of time where I’d get a tiny bit of sleep, mostly having fever dreams.
I feel ashamed to admit this but I kept crapping myself without realising to the point I had to (I know this may sound funny but i had not choice) I had to stuff toilet paper between my butt cheeks, just to catch whatever came out by accident. Even then, some of it still managed to end up in my underwear. Maybe I should’ve asked somebody to go out and buy adult diapers lol but didn’t really think of that. My mum had to go to our local pharmacy and ask for advice and buy meds but nothing actually worked.
I just had to fight through it and I’m right here telling the tale, so there you have it. I wonder if it was actually some kind of food poisoning, not just a stomach virus. I was scared to shit for weeks after that, it totally scarred me! No joke.
food food food food food food
Why do I watch things like this even though they make me need to piss?
I sorry but the first story is hilarious
Iimportant lesson here. Always Always pack toilet paper
I heard that in some countries, they have napkin vending machines in front of public toilets.
20:24: anyone else have the fast food place glitch
Yes
then shitting too all over the walls too
25:33 TF is that supposed to mean?
I love this video already just because I noticed it's nearly 45 mins long
EDIT: Nevermind, got about 5 mins in to the tapeworm story and noped out
I loathe myself for finding this so hilarious.
I was on a crowded bus going from the bus station to my house 4 km away. All of a sudden 1 minute in I had to pee like crazzy . It felt Like my bladder was gonna explode. I isolated myself in the corner seat in the bus. Bout 3 minutes later I rushed off the bus and ran to a high bush area. I p*** everywhere .
I was a kid and I couldn’t make it. The doors were locked next to the play ground and I had to run to the cafeteria ( 2nd grade ) and that one was locked also so I had to run to the far restroom. Had to pee bad. Made it and I tried to unblocked my pants but it was hard and it was too late. I started peeing my pants and crying. 😭😭😭😭 poor me. I went to class in my blue jeans with a dark blue pee stain on my pants and my teacher called my to her desk and said ***** did you have an accident. I was so embarrassed but I got to go home
15:56 I feel this will help me while writing my narrative essay