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HOW TO STOP BEING JEALOUS... *FIVE* Tips That Saved My Relationship!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ส.ค. 2024
- Jealousy is a b*tch. But this video helps you understand how jealousy is NORMAL and NOT YOUR FAULT... It will also help you control those annoying jealous feelings.
If you're worried that jealous feelings are ruining your current relationship or getting in the way of you finding love... This is DEFINITELY the video for you, because trust me, that was me too.
These tips have honestly changed my relationship with my partner and myself for the better! I hope this helps you too!
Let's connect! I'd love to hear if these tips have helped you!
Instagram: @withlove.vero
1- Understanding jealousy
2- Drown out the noise
3- Challenge the thoughts
4- Recognize your bias
5- Nobody’s perfect
As others are saying, it’s so nice to see that other people struggle with this too. I literally googled this video because I want to change and be different, but it’s so hard with trauma. Being jealous comes with a lot of shame and guilt, because you KNOW you shouldn’t act this way, but you can’t help it.
It's challenging, for sure..! But hang in there, I believe anyone can champion these struggles and get through this :) I'm glad you feel heard and know you're not alone! Sending you love
Yes. Exactly
@@michellelohde8683 cuz no matter what it's the father of there children..there's always a bond that ties to them
Same here.
thank you so much for this video. rn i’m really struggling with my bf having friends that are girls, etc. i don’t want to make him feel like he can’t do anything, but i’m also afraid of getting hurt and have trust issues from being hurt in the past by him and others. this video helped, i will definitely be coming back to it. thank you so much!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this! I totallyyyy get where you’re coming from. It just comes down to thinking if what he’s doing is really respecting your feelings or if it isn’t. He can have girls as friends but if he’s doing something that makes you question the friendship, I think you need to set up some boundaries with him!
Listen girl. I’ve been in your shoes. My ex had female friends that he later fell inlove with claiming they were just friends. Do what you feel you are comfortable with! And people who are saying ” You should let your bf have female friends its not wrong”
Is false. If you feel u arent comfortable with your guy having female friends. Cut him off. Either say its you or them.
A guy who loves u 100% will always choose u. Cuz no matter what u are the one he will prob marry. Not the female friendos. I am not comfortable if I had a boyfriend that had female friends. And I wont date one that has. Simple. I want to feel prioritized 100%. Do what u feel is right.
@@Anonymous11Jj I hear ya! Personally, my boyfriend and I are on the same page where we draw the line/have boundaries around having friends of the opposite sex. It's just something we are comfortable with and compatible with. Now, I have a best friend of 10 years who is a guy, who is in a healthy relationship himself and my boyfriend loves him, it's possible for it to work. You just need to see if they respect you and your relationship. I know my guy friend would never overstep his boundaries and I would never ever hurt my boyfriend by doing anything he's not comfortable with. Communication and openness is key, as well as compatibility.
@@glowwithvero Yea I get you. But personally I wont date a guy with any female friends. And I wont have any male friends either. I learnt alot from my last ex. Since he promised ” Theres nothing between me and my female friends” Then falling inlove with one of them who even has a bf. He claims he doesnt love her but come on … just bc he didnt get her. And also IF the partner doesnt feel comfortable anymore with friends of the opposite sex and says ” choose me or your friend” and the partner chooses the ” friend” then something is very wrong. Partner should always go first. And my ex chose to keep his female friend. So I left. She posts hearts of him. Its weird af.
Now he says ” I am not ready for a relationship” He prob has someone else. But what annoys me is people who arent honest. Like if he doesnt want me anymore why cant he just say ” I dont want u”
I hate that guys are so afraid of confrontation or scared to hurt feelings.
Isnt it wrong to say to someone ” I am not ready” When they dont want u. Shouldnt they be honest? I gave up hope that theres guys out there who are honest and that can take confrontation. Instead of coming with excuses. :( And when I cried for him he said ” Stop crying ffs”.
@@Anonymous11Jj All I can say is there are A LOT of immature people out there… 🙈 They don’t necessarily have the tools yet to maturely handle people’s feelings. And trust me, I have been through exactly what you’ve been through before too. It’s SUCH a sucky feeling.
I think over time you’ll realize what kind of person you are most compatible with, and if it’s someone who has the same views as you do, then that’s great. You may also have to let go of your fear of your man being friends with girls and just trust that the next guy you choose is not going to disrespect you.
Cause what happens is if you don’t let go of that feeling, the instant you see him speak friendly with a girl, you might get triggered and push him away for nothing. Trust and respect is a huge factor, as long as he has both, you’re good. 👍
Crying reading these comments. I'm so glad I'm not the only person going through this. I feel crazy. I have gotten to the point where I cannot handle myself anymore. It hurts so bad to feel this way. Going to try these tips. I hope everyone is finding success with these tips.
You're definitely not alone! I know it feels tough right now... You can get through this, I believe in you! :)
My jealosy is killing me. I'm with my bf for more than 2 years now, but i'm still get jealous of everything, his friends, his past crushes, his exes, girls who had eyes for him.
I know he loves me. But I just can't help being hyper vigilence to the point I felt really helpless it hurts my heart, physically, literally hurts.
I understand completely!! I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years as well and I still get triggered when anything involves his exes (that’s how I usually got cheated on).
It’s definitely a process of reteaching ourselves on what our triggers mean and if it’s actually something to worry about or not. I would also suggest going to therapy if it starts to become really bad! I used to shake and have panic attacks and I started seeing therapy because if it. Hope this helps ❤️
I just ended a 7 year relationship because of this. It got the best of me and I snapped. Guilt flush all over me and I walked away. I can’t help but feel that I have to compete with the whole damn world (even tho this is a horrible mentality, and I will never win) but that’s how I was feeling.
It was unfair for him. I had to leave.
@@DM-gu9ik I'm sorry to hear that things have been difficult for you.. I hope you are able to heal from the hurt and be able to trust and love again! I think it was a good decision you made if you know you're only hurting your partner..!
🥺🥺 yes I am starting to hate myself 😪😪
Same with me dear
I’m 18, my boyfriend is extremely reassuring and honestly so amazing when it comes to listening to me and doing his best to cheer me up. I get jealous over so many things, and I overthink to the point I’ve convinced myself that he is cheating on someone. It’s insane and it keeps me up at night. I mean when he hangs out w his friends or mentions a character from a game or tv series or when I glance at his phone and see him scroll thru memes that have girls on it, whether he’s liked a post w girls on it, oh my goodness you name it. And I’m scared if I keep feeling this way I will ruin our relationship. In turn it has ruined my self confidence and I just want to heal from it 😞 but I will use this advice and try
I hear and relate to you so much! I don't know your relationship personally so I can only provide feedback based on the current info, but as long as he is being respectful towards your feelings, it's okay to comfort yourself and reassure yourself everything is okay.
I'd say it can get a little dicey with liking photos with girls on it, are the girls just friends? Or are they displaying something that him liking these photos constantly in front of you make you question things? Again, as long as he's a respectful man and knows his boundaries, just practise being mindful of how you're feeling, breathe, challenge the thoughts and overthinking you have with reassurances of your boyfriend being good to you. Best of luck on your journey!
I’m married and sometimes I want to just end it because I can’t stand feeling like out of control. The only thing I can control is my life, and being in a marriage, he has never done anything, but like the thought of it is too much. I don’t get it. Stepping back and just trying to be my best self. Telling my annoying aunt to F off. Lol
Hey, I hear ya...! Even in my awesome relationship I'm in right now, I'm constantly fighting the urge to just leave and tell myself I'm not meant to be in relationships, I'll never accept love.
BUT THE TRUTH IS WE NEED TO STOP TELLING OURSELVES THIS!!! We are OUR ONLY enemies! Especially if our partners have never done anything and can be trusted, we are literally the only ones sabotaging ourselves and our relationship.
We need to practice more self-love, positive self-talk so that we don't inevitably destroy our relationships and ourselves. Start switching to saying more loving things about yourself, like how you are a survivor and that you've got this, and that you're a strong AF! The person that can help us the most is ourselves.
Me too...I'm usually emotionally stable but ever since I was in a relationship I felt out of control...I don't understand myself and I can't make the strange feeling go away bcos I fear that I will get hurt and automatically my walls go up.
I think you need therapy.
I generally never comment on TH-cam videos, but I have to say that it takes a lot of courage to admit your shortcomings on a public forum like this. Respect.
P.S: Great tips; really practical. Thank you Vero!
I really appreciate that comment! I think opening up about my personal experiences really helps to show everyone how they're not alone (or how they're not as worse as myself haha), and to give them a sense of comfort in this subject. Thank you for your feedback and your time! :)
I'm so happy I came across this video. I really needed it. Reading these comments I know that I'm not alone. My jealousy almost ruined my relationship. My bf got scared to talk to me about certain things. I know for a fact that I was not like this. I have an ex and when I was with him, I was really easy going, I was not jealous, but then he cheated on me😭and now I'm scared to be easy going in my current relationship. I'm scared that my bf is going to leave me for a better girl😭
Hi catlover ❤️ I’m glad that you feel heard here, I know it can be scary to feel this way. I struggle with making sure my boyfriend has a safe space with me as well, but we have to work hard to make sure we don’t harm our relationships.
Please don’t be afraid if your boyfriend will leave you for someone else!! You have absolutely no control over that if he cheats/leaves you. Trust him and communicate respectfully, be kind to yourself as well. Stay strong ❤️
@@glowwithvero thank you for the kind words! You deserve the best❤
@@catlover2395 You too! :)
Ohh girl I'm in similar situation as in you're. Exactly same 🥹. He just stopped talking to me and I've no confidence that i could ever text him back
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months, and recently I've been feeling so jealous for no reason. I would view his social media profiles and who he was following because I was so paranoid that he didn't really love me. I love this man, and I want to marry him. This video really helped
Hi, thank you for sharing! I totally get what you're feeling, I've been there too where my boyfriend's social media literally drove me anxious for a long time.
As long as your partner is respecting you and he's given you no reason to question him, try to avoid peering at his follows. It's all in our head, and I know it's easier said than done but eventually you'll realize that it doesn't matter. Protecting ourselves causes us more harm sometimes in a trusting relationship, work on soothing that part that is protecting you and letting it know that you are okay and that you can trust your partner. Best of luck in your relationship, I wish you the best! :)
Hyper vigilance…I NEEDED THIS! Thanks for making this video. I’m in a new relationship (2 months) and I’ve found myself randomly fixating on one of his friends…someone I was getting to know professionally and didn’t realize they were friends until they (in a group) went to the movies together. The other day this woman was being super flirty in trying to get him to buy a ticket to an event…I shaded her forgetting that he was already shutting her down holding his own in his cool, collected way.
This was so helpful because I definitely am realizing how much past trauma I have from old relationships that I thought I was LONG over.
YES! Once I learned about hypervigilance, it blew my mind, too.
It also changes your world a little bit when you realize you start seeing things because you're on the defensive, it's definitely a tough feeling. I hope you're staying strong though and the advice helps you! :) You've got this!
You calmed me down for the first time in years. I've been so jealous for so long and i can't live like that anymore
I'm so glad you feel heard 🥰 Hang in there, I know how difficult it can get. Stay strong and be kind to yourself for what you've been through and how you are feeling 💗
I’ve had a very bad experience with my ex who would purposefully try to make me jealous (he even admitted it years down the line while he subjected a new woman to this torture). He’d flaunt attractive women in front of me and go behind my back in subtle ways with mutual friends. It’s really hurt me in my current relationship and I absolutely have hyper vigilance. I feel insecure when I’m with my partner around women who remind me of the ones who my ex would use against me. It makes me feel small and powerless but mostly, it makes me feel foolish. My boyfriend gives me no reason to be jealous. He is incredible secure and validating and he respects my boundaries. I want to be more secure in myself and understand that he’s with me because of my special combination of traits, and someone being more intelligent, more beautiful or extroverted doesn’t mean he’s going to abandon me.
Hi Maddy, thank you so much for sharing.
thank you for this. Honestly when you recalled the story about the birthday cards my stomach dropped because I knew that exact feeling.. I felt it myself whilst you were retelling the story! Unfortunately my jealousy has impacted my relationship but I'm really trying to just take a step back and allow him to breathe. He's a good, loyal person and hasn't actually given me any reason to not trust that. I'm going to really really study these tips.
I still get a little bit of anxiety from little moments like the birthday cards! I've done my best now to just react better and talk myself through what I'm thinking, so I can still totally relate to the nervousness you feel!
It takes time and it's just all about the practise and getting better at handling our anxious moments. I believe in you! :) Thank you for watching!
I seriously cannot thank you enough for this video. I deal with a lot of insecurity/jealousy/possessiveness/projection in my relationship and it’s a really frustrating and aggravating pattern for my partner who feels like there’s nothing they can say or do to get me to stop. I get really lost in my head about it and it’s hard to know which way is up or down. The way that you spoke about this and broke it down made the cycle so so much clearer and made me feel like I’m not crazy and I’m not alone and like there really is a path toward healthy attachment. It’s clear you’ve really had to walk your talk to be able to teach this so well and I’m really grateful to you for the time you spent moving through all of that and for your willingness to share what you’ve learned. 💗
I'm so glad my video was able to help in any way! I'm happy to hear that you feel heard and seen with these feelings. I know it's tough, just remember to be kind to yourself when you're feeling hurt, you're doing your best.
Stay strong! I believe in you!
Thank you for this. I researched Hyper-vigilance and it really resonated with me. It’s something I didn’t have a name for until today.
I felt the same exact way when I found out for the first time..! I’m glad it’s given you clarity on how you’re feeling 😌
this needs so much more attention it helped me feel better and understand that my feelings weren't A BAD THING or how me being jealous wasn't bad but yes it is bad if it's excessive but I had these thoughts because I was hurt in the past and I need time to get myself together
Awww, I'm so happy you feel heard! I definitely know what it felt like to feel super guilty about these feelings, especially when no one else seems to understand why. Thank you so much for watching the video, I am really happy it helped! :)
I love this!! I needed this! Today I realized I have to deal with this issue or it might start to take over my wonderful relationship. Thank you so much, plan on watching all your videos on the next days ❤️
Aww, you are so sweet! Thank you so much for all your support, I'm glad I could help! I wish you the best with your healing journey and your relationship :)
thank you so much. i'm so happy i found this video, i'm in tears right now because i relate with a lot of things you said about being in a previous emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship, and projecting that onto my really great happy and healthy relationship with jealous feelings that just aren't fair or good for me or my partner. i wrote these tips down, i'm taking notes!! and i will definitely use them whenever i have thoughts which i even had thoughts during the video and i tried drowning out the noise - which did help. thank you so much!!!
Awwww, I’m so sorry to hear that you went through this..!! But I totally get it, it warps how we see relationships and trust. I’m glad that my video resonates and I wish you luck on your healing journey ❤️❤️❤️
@@glowwithvero thank you!! i told my partner about this video too and how much it helped, we both struggle with these feelings and my s/o said it helps so much.
@@kymberlynorte I'm so glad to hear that you're both working towards building a healthier, more trusting relationship! :) I wish you both the best and I know you'll be great!!!
Thank u so much for this relatable and enlightening video. I'm in tears watching this 😭 everything is so on point, the trauma, the hyper vigilance coz of the trauma i had with my exes. It just enlightened me. I put it on my notes to remind me. And I'm so grateful my boyfriend send this link to me. 😭😭 I'm so sorry for him coz he was at the receiving end of these negativity i have. I'm gonna work on it coz i value my relationship so much. I found the greatest guy i won't lose him coz of this ever. 🥺
Awwww, I'm sorry that you've been going through this! :( I completely understand how much of a struggle it is not to get in the way of your own relationship..! I'm so glad my video has helped you in any way, sending love your way!!! I know you can do it! :) Stay strong!
I really appreciate you for being so transparent. I’ve been struggling recently to overcome these feelings in my own relationship and i don’t want to ruin things because of my emotions. I will definitely try to incorporate these tips into my life and come back to this video the next time i ever feel this low.
Hi Nadi, I'm glad that you feel heard! I do believe so many people have these shared experiences but are afraid to highlight them for fear of being "crazy", but I hope this helps show you you're not alone. 💗
Best of luck on your healing journey, stay strong!!!
Thank you so much. I was feeling really alone before watching this video and I feel better now!❤️
Awww, I got you! ❤️ Totally understand how alone you might feel, but just know that you definitely aren’t 😊
Thank you so, so much for this. I’m so grateful to read these comments and see I’m not the only person going through this type of jealousy. I have a healthy, beautiful marriage, but my own jealousy has tried so hard to tear it down and I fight it daily. My husband is so gentle and loving and understanding, and I know he loves me with all his heart and doesn’t want anyone else. But I read so much into everything and it drives me crazy and I know it will only damage us. I have gone through old high school notebooks of his, his dresser drawers, his phone- all trying to find some incriminating evidence, but he is faithful. I haven’t been cheated on in the past, so I don’t know where this issue stems from- but it is debilitating, and I know I need to seek help so that I can trust my husband. He has shown time and time again that he deserves that trust. Thank you for this video- I know it’s not always easy to be transparent on an issue like this. These tips are going to help ❤️
I'm so glad you feel heard and I appreciate you opening up about your experiences!
I still get anxiety from time to time but working on it daily, even when you don't feel anxious, is key to being consistent with building trust in your relationship. Now that you know you walk into things/situations with a bias, try your best to talk to yourself out of being a detective (I'm guilty as well haha) and breathe through the situation to calm yourself down and soothe yourself. :) It always helps to take a moment to ask yourself if you REALLY need to be doing this. Eventually, it'll just feel like background noise and you'l be able to ignore it much easier.
It's also possible that a friend, caretaker, parent, co-worker/boss or anyone close to you may have taken advantage of your trust at one point that made you question things. Either way, just know your experience and anxiety is normal to feel after betrayal, so be kind and patient with yourself.
@@glowwithvero Thank you for your authenticity and thoughtful reply- I appreciate it so much!
you're so strong and awesome!!! So many people can use these tips, not just women! Thank you for always working so hard on yourself ❤❤
thank you so much! I appreciate YOU! :)
This video literally made me cry . It’s so hard to snap out of it when you’ve been hurt. But I needed this
Hi Essynse, sending you so much love!!!
Thank you so much . This was simple to understand and I will try to apply this . Made this cry but out of hope . It won’t be easy but I’m not afraid to put in the work
I appreciate you so much for taking the time to watch my video, I'm glad it touched you. ❤ You've got this, it takes time for the healing but it is SO worth it!
This really helped me thank you. I will think about these tips next time I am feeling jealous. I have been struggling with my self image a lot lately.
I'm very glad this helped you! :) Stay strong, self image is definitely something I struggle with as well. But just know that positive self-talk and self-love goes a really long way with self-image!
this really made me cry
a good friend of mine decided to end our friendship without any explanations. after months of ghosting me , i saw him in university with his new friends. since that day every time i see them happy it triggers me and makes me feel unworthy ...why did he left me like that? didn't i deserve an explanation? and the feeling of being forgotten so easily was even worse. but you are right i was hurt! i really needed someone to tell me that having these feelings are valid THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm gonna use these tips the next time I'm having these thoughts.
I’m so sorry to hear that happened..! It sucks, and I totally get why you have some lingering anxiety! I’m happy you feel heard and I’m glad this video helped in any way ❤️❤️❤️ Stay strong!
Thank you sister! I really don't have anyone i can talk with about these feelings but luckly completely gave me the speech i was so desperate to hear.. thank you once again, sending you much love 💖
Sending you all the love Ariana!!! 🥰🥰🥰 Stay strong, we are all here for you!
Thank you for sharing your video, really expresses on how I've been feeling. Jealousy has taken over me and ruining my marriage. I have a wonderful, loving, faithful husband in my life, I feel bad to be putting him through so much!! I've let the past interfere with the present, I want to get rid of this Jealousy, which I know your video is going to help me to do it. I need to follow your 5 steps, I'm willing to try anything to fix us. Thank you so much.
YOU'VE GOT THIS! 💗 You are deserving of a beautiful relationship - and your partner is, too. Try to focus on building the trust, happiness, and love back up and be grateful for what you have instead of focusing your energy on what "might happen" or negativity. I know it's harder than it sounds, but practice makes progress. I believe in you!!!
I'm a guy and this video is very insightful and helpful. i would get jealous and obsessive over anyone i let in and fear being hurt or abandon which would make me push them away and accuse them of cheating or another person better than me and it stems from a traumatic experience when i was younger with falling for someone and being played to be a fool which i only just realised. Recetly i was obsessing over someone on snapchat maps because they would be online but wouldn't responde to me and i have been searching up all my problems and JEALOUSY is it! a big insecutity of being let down or left for someone else and this video is giving me a lot of hope that i will over come this because i'm scared and don't want to live like this anymore.
Hey Astrx, thank you for opening up and sharing your story! I know it can be so difficult to understand how you're feeling, but I'm glad you realize you're not the only one and everyone can feel this way. :) I'm sorry that that happened to you in the past..!
Now that you understand this part of yourself, the next step is to work hard towards healing this part of you and being kind to yourself throughout the process. Stay strong and know that you have support! I wish you luck on your healing journey!
I just came across this video because I've been through the state of being extremely jealous these days. It's like an involuntary action that just happens out of nowhere especially when I see threats. I love my partener so much that I wanted to protect him from anyone who may steal his heart from me. I've some takeaways after watching your video and I am looking forward to applying it in my life to keep our relationship with partner as healthy as I need it to be.
It takes a lot of courage and strength to recognize what's happening within yourself and the relationship, so I'm proud that you can admit this!
I have another video about communicating your jealousy to your partner - may help you out as well in creating a healthy space for communication about these feelings. Sending love!!! Stay strong!
I love this! So helpful and I love your compassionate way of delivering the message. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your support! :) I'm happy this helped!!
I cried watching this... I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and was cheated on for years. I'm in a healthy relationship now but I can't help but wonder and make nothing into something
I'm in the same boat!!! It's definitely challenging but the key is to continually practise at getting better regulating our emotions each day. Some days are easier than most, but it's something we have to keep working on if we want our relationships to be healthy. Hang in there, I believe in you! 🥰
I honestly feel so seen with this video and these comments. I'm constantly asking what's wrong with me when I get overly jealous about people my girlfriend has been with in the past, pretty women who talk to her, and even old celebrity crushes she had. I literally got upset because she told me that a couple years ago she watched a movie just because Megan Fox had a sexy scene in it and it burned me up. I literally cried. I hate how over protective and jealous I get over her. Thank you for this video and I know it'll help me going forward in this relationship. She's everything to me and I literally can't lose her, especially over jealousy.
Hey, thank you so much for sharing! I know it's hard to be vulnerable and open about your struggles, I'm so glad you feel heard and can relate to everyone here, too! :)
I have been the same, I would cry in the bathrooms of gyms when I was working out with my boyfriend because I hated seeing other women around him...hahahaha. I totally feel you!!! If your partner is giving you no reason not to trust them, you should continue to tell yourself you are safe with your partner. You're not in danger. Everything is okay, and you're looking after yourself. :) Continue to be kind to yourself in those moments, and in some ways, be your own protector. I wish you the best in your healing journey
Thank you very much for this video. I understand that jealous is trying to keep me safe, by minimising the thread by me becoming controlling and paranoid .my body is trying to prevent the thread as I had plenty of stressors when I was a child. Thus we become overly controlling to our partner, but sadly that control suffocates our partner even more to the point they begin to lose feelings, due to the lack of freedom. This video made so much sense, so I trust my self enough and. Don’t worry about things that are potential thread to my relationship. Because we are not responsible to prefect our partners from avoiding cheating. So guys rest well and trust your self, Because we are taking a job that’s not for us by being controlling and paranoid. Forgive yourself
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
It’s important to have partner who does not encourage jealousy.Your partner should make you feel safe and secure.Stay away from womanisers.
I agree! It's important to be with a partner that knows and respects your boundaries. Communication is key and intent is always key! ✨
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
I love this video! I had a spiral last night over my boyfriend wanting to go to a freaking breathing class at his gym i was scared he would find interest in this girl and think i have a lot of growing to do. But it was ridiculous and i realized that all of my insecurities and jealousy is stemmed from my abusive ex boyfriend who would meet new girls and fall for them and always compare me to them. And its been like 7 years ago but I’m so traumatized by him that I’m always thinking that if he meets a new girl that situation would happen again. I am going to find a therapist because I absolutely hate that about myself
Hi Cassandra, I understand you so much! It can be very hard to not get frustrated and triggered by this, I still get this way, too sometimes. As long as he is being respectful towards your feelings and you have no reason to believe he will do this, continue to work on being kind on yourself when you feel this way (because of what happened to you before), and also work on challenging those thoughts of your boyfriend "cheating" on you. Continue to tell yourself you are safe and he is different. Sending you so much love, stay strong!
Absolutely thank you for sharing your tips. That's a huge help for me. Thanks you!!
I am so glad I could help you in any way, Dianne! Stay strong 💗
Hi Ms. Vero! Thanks for this, you explained it better than most of my therapists I've seen. God bless!
Hi PJ! I'm glad that the video resonated with you! :) I'm sorry to hear that you didn't feel recognized during your therapy sessions. Hopefully you have a much better therapist helping you now :)
@@glowwithvero I do!!! I have a therapist that is teaching me everything that your teaching others! Good job👍
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! This helped me so much I can't even put into words.
I'm so happy this helped!! Stay strong
Something that helped me was acknowledging what habits I had were actually toxic / harmful and be able to increase my boundaries with people, never try to change anyone, and know my non negotiables (within a healthy baseline)
This is GREAT! Yes, I totally agree. Having boundaries and non-negotiables not only sets clear filters for the people you welcome into your life, but also sets the tone in the relationships you form so you can be respected.
Having great awareness in yourself - noticing your harmful habits, is amazing!!! One of the best tools to overcoming the anxiety people can feel. Keep up the great work 🥰
Thank you so much!! You are amazing and made me feel so good with this video!
I am so happy to hear that! :) I'm glad I was able to help in any way. Hope you are having a good healing journey!
Thank you for the video! I needed this so bad 💜
I’m happy to hear the video helped in any way 🥰
I cried watching this video. Thank you so much for this.
Awwww! 🥺 You are so sweet! Stay strong, you’ve got this! ❤️
I'm not perfect no BUT...I make sure I'm respectful and don't make a comment or flirt or do things that I wouldn't want my man to do.
Being respectful and having open communication is key!!! Awesome to hear.
Thank you for this tips 🥺 really helps
Of course!!! Stay strong ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing !! This has helped me so much.
I'm so glad to hear! Best of luck to your healing journey :)
Wow your tips allowed me to see things into perspective. I thank you for sharing. I will definitely apply it to my relationship.
Hey Queen, yay!!! That's awesome, I'm glad this helped. Best of luck on your healing journey! :)
Thank you so much for sharing! Jealousy & Insecurity control me & I am praying so hard for God to heal me.
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
Thank you for this 🥺 God bless you!!!
Thank YOU for watching and supporting!!! 🥰 Stay strong!
This is the most important execution of this topic. Thank you so much
That means a lot, thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
This video felt like a warm hug ❤
Awww, that's is so sweet! I'm happy to hear you feel that way :)
Thank you so much for making this video!
You are very welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed the video! :)
Wow thank you SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! My 7 year amazing relationship is almost ruined because of my actions and jealousy. I never want to feel like this again. Thank you so much for your amazing words and approach. You made my wall go down. Thank you for being gentle.
Oh my goodness, I am happy to have helped in any way!! 💕 Be kind to yourself, it's a journey but it's SO worth it! I wish you all the best! Happy 7 years, that's awesome! :)
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
Facts I been through this and today is the last day from earlier I'll allow myself to be jealous or insecure because I know what I'm a good woman and I bring a lot to the table. I'm going to love, live life and do me
I love the confidence! Don't forget to be kind to yourself when feelings of jealousy and insecurity come up, it is normal and understandable. :) Best of luck on your healing journey!
I've really been struggling with this after a couple bad relationships and the thought of stepping away from those bad feeling makes me anxious but I know I need to really work on it.
Stay strong! I know how difficult it can be... Take your time and be consistent, be kind to yourself and you'll be good. :) Sending love your way!
Thanks for this! I have really bad trust and abandonment issues not only in relationships but in friendships too and it’s destroying my life lmao, my bf hasn’t done anything wrong yet I look into such simple stupid things thanks this video is perfect
I'm so glad you feel heard! Yes, this feeling definitely affects friendships as well - I hope this video helps repair those relationships for you! 💕
Thanks so much for this video. Something that helped me was to view my biased hypervigilant self as a child version of myself. I would say 'i understand that your feeling really worried and hurt at the moment, I promise I will come back to you later and we can talk about what you are worried about' then. Since I've started doing this I've realised that as I allowed myself to calm down, when later came I would not be worried anymore. Upon coming back to myself, if I notice myself beginning to spiral I would give myself a mental hug and say again "I'll come back to you don't worry". I found this really helped. It kinda gave me the space to go over the things I was worried about but to not allow myself to completely spiral
I’m so happy this video provided you clarity and made you feel heard!!! 💗 That’s awesome!! Yes, you are so right. That’s one of the best ways to separate your jealous feelings from your identity and take a step back from your own mind. Amazing!!! Sounds like you’re on the right track to healing 💗 Keep up the fantastic work!
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
Thank you for this video 🙌🏻. It just gave words to my feelings.
I'm so glad that this helped :) Stay strong Jenish!
Well done for sharing this personal video. I always appreciate like-minded people speaking sincerely about self-expression & feelings. Yes I know all about hypervigilance. I think it can be a curse as much as a gift, if we learn how to use it wisely. It's all about self-love. Just subscribed to connect with you.💐
Thank you so much for watching! Definitely, hypervigilance is something not a lot of people shed light on or understand and am hoping people can be kinder to their partner's anxiety instead of labelling them "crazy" first!
I have subscribed too, thank you for the support! :)
Yes good on you! @@glowwithvero thanks for connecting looking forward to more of your content.
i literally just took in that i might also have hypervigilance due to mild PTSD. this vid was helpful in overcoming that. thank you
I’m so glad you feel heard!!! That’s exactly what went through my mind too when my therapist explained it to me. I felt more in tune and not “insane” with my emotions.
Stay strong! You’ve got this 🥰
@@glowwithvero tysm!!!
This is what I've been lookin for,thank u so much.🥰
Awww, I’m so glad I was able to help in any way!!! ❤️ Best of luck on your healing journey!
I have a question, it’d be so nice to hear your opinion because it’s a little embarrassing asking this to people in my life. But I feel so insecure watching shows with my partner especially when there are beautiful women. Everyone is beautiful but I’m talking about prolonged super naked strip scenes, sex scenes that involve dominant women, sexually confident female characters etc. It makes me insecure because honestly speaking, sometimes watching it is brings feeling of excitement but when I’m with someone it brings feelings of dread and heavy insecurity at the thought that he is having a similar reaction in his head. Even if he is, I don’t know how to get over this uncomfortable feeling I have when stuff like that appears on shows, I’ve even gone as far as refusing to watch a show because the sex scenes showed more than the usual, and it made me sad because he says he doesn’t think about that at all, it’s about the story and the main character happens to be sexually confident. But ugh, it hurts and yeah it’s lame and pathetic to feel threatened by that but it’s true in my case. What are your thoughts on this?
Hi there! First of all, I want you to know you're not crazy for thinking this. I've had similar feelings in the past. And if we both feel this way, chances are a lot of other people feel this way as well!
In saying this, my advice won't be the nicest or easiest, but it's the most realistic advice that we all need to face at some point. "The more we try to control something, the more out of control we get". There is absolutely nothing we can do but to build up the strength and resilience to not be hurt by this and to get over our fears. Let's be real, these shows and movies aren't going away. And there's only so much we can do to 'avoid' these scenes. It's not realistic to constantly control every second of what your partner watches, without trapping them and being obsessively controlling. You'll only push them away even further.
We need to come to the conclusion that this is a fear we need to work on. If it really consumes you, I would highly suggest talking to a therapist to sort out where these feelings are coming from and how to control them.
I relate COMPLETELY to how you feel, I used to struggle very much going to the gym with my boyfriend in fear of what the girls in the gym would be wearing and how they looked working out. I would shake and lock myself up in the bathroom and cry (my BF is fully aware of this lol). I would even get mad at him for us going to the gym..haha. But what can I do? Do I tell my BF to never go the gym ever again? Do I tell every woman in there to find a different gym? All these things I try to "control" will just piss me off because, truth is, I can't control them. And it would be wrong for me to. I just built the strength to trust that nothing was going to happen and trust myself that I can get through it.
I hope this helps...! I know it can be really tough. But you are stronger than you think. It takes time and practise, but if I could do it, you can too. :)
Me too, me and my boyfriend also watching a lot of shows together, and I sometimes get to the point where I tell him to look away every time there is woman on the screen. And he just says "I just wanna watch the show, I don’t care about those girls" but In my mind I’m just thinking "but he probably thinking that they are pretty" and stuff like that, and I get so mad at myself that I’m like that, because I know he is loyal and he is always trying his best to make me feel loved. But my thoughts are just killing me and trying to make me believe that he would be better off with someone else. And every time I see a pretty girl I just start thinking "if that girl was here or started in his class or sum, and were super nice to him, there’s no way he wouldn’t choose her over me. And she’s probably super confident, and she has a better body than me and all this stuff. I get so out of control sometimes. And I hate that it’s affecting my relationship so much. I just think he deserves someone better than this:,)
I literally have the exact same issue and I hate myself for it. I feel like I will always feel this way. I'm sorry you're going through this too 😔
@@miahagen8608 I feel for you and you are good enough I promise
Parental guide of imdb and common sense media .. at least to be warned if someone is going to put a fully naked image in front of you suddenly. Extreme objectification happens in media and some of this feeling is totally reasonable
Thank you for this video. From the bottom of my heart. ❤️
You are very welcome, thank you so much from the bottom of MY heart for your support!!! 💗
Thank you so much for this video!!💕
You are very welcome, thank you so much for watching! ❤️
Thank you I’m gonna write down these tips. Thing is my first relationship messed me up badly cause my friend and boyfriend ended up dating and now I have been with my current boyfriend for like almost 2 years but I keep on self sabotaging myself and now he’s close to this other friend of his and they click a lot I’m super jealous cause my heart keeps on telling me the girl likes my boyfriend and it’s obvious but he keeps on saying he doesn’t know it and I should trust him I hvnt seen any signs of him cheating on me but I’m now so hyper vigilant and for almost this whole year we hv been getting into fights cause of this friend of his. It’s affecting me badly I’m hvn low self esteem overthinking a lot I jus don’t want to hv the past scenario again😔😔😪
I understand where you're coming from. If I'm being really honest, you need to speak to your boyfriend about how you've been feeling about that friend, especially if you've confirmed that she has feelings for him. It's not healthy for you or your relationship.
There needs to be respectful boundaries set in place and he needs to respect your feelings as well. Yes, you can trust him if you have no reason to feel like he'll hurt you, but he needs to listen to your needs and concerns as well.
I can't say what the best thing for you is here, as I don't know the relationship personally. But as long as your boyfriend and friend is respectful towards your boundaries, that's what matters. If not, it may not be a healthy place for you to stay in.
@@glowwithvero Thank you❤️ I will try and address the matter and see what happens
@@nobukhosisibanda4105 Yes, best of luck! You have my support ❤️
Thank you! I thought i was the only one with this issue of insecurity in my marriage; that I'm not crazy.
I'm glad you feel heard! Hang in there and good luck on your healing journey :)
Thank you so much❤️ I needed to listen to you❤️🙏❤️
I'm glad!!! Stay strong
Wow! Thank you sooo much for this Video ❤️
Of course! I'm so happy I can help you out! :)
Although I have come across manipulative people in my life, I managed to distance myself from them, and I'm only fortunate to not have experienced many of your struggles and developing hypervigilance (I have the opposite problem: I'm overly trusting lol)
But I still found your advices useful for overthinking in general too! Thank you for your openness and sharing your experience ❤️
I am really glad that you've managed to spot and avoid manipulative characters in your life, that's so awesome!
I'm also super glad to hear that you found this helpful. It means a lot to know I've helped in any way, even if it's not directly relative to you. :) Thank you so much for watching, Nastia!!! I love the support!!
@@glowwithvero thank you, I'm happy you're overcoming and healing 💛
And of course! You have great content, sending a virtual hug 🤗
@@nana25smile muchas gracias amiga! ❤️❤️❤️ i appreciate you!!
Starting with TH-cam as well! New Sub!
I am sure you are going to go far ;)
thank you so much, that means a lot! 😊 ive subscribed to you too!
i had a girlfriend and i really really liked her. not in a creepy way ofc- she was the first person i’d dated and I remember being super excited because i was so happy. we dated for a while, but then when she broke up with me, she’d said that she didn’t really actually like me whilst we were going out. i wasn’t angry at her for it, but i just suddenly felt so stressed about relationships after that. i’m going out with someone now (recently 7 months YAY) and she is so so lovely and i feel really lucky. yet sometimes i feel myself getting so worried that she doesn’t actually like me, like the other person. thanks so much for this video, it was so so helpful.
Firstly, thank you so much for sharing! It takes a lot to be vulnerable about your experience, I appreciate you! I totally get you as well, that "over the shoulder" feeling.
Over time and with the right tools, you are able to calm your anxiety and be able to have regular conversations with yourself on how you trust your partner and feel safe. From time to time you may get triggered but just continue to be kind to your anxiety. Remember: it's normal to feel anxious after your past experiences! I'm glad this video helped in any way, I believe you'll be able to come out on top of those emotions. Stay strong!
🥰
You’ve got great advice as well!
thank you! i try my best 👍☺️
Great advise. Thanks for sharing
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching! :)
Thankyou so much my dear, I needed it♥️
You are very welcome, I'm glad this helps! :)
@@glowwithvero I’m grateful hehe I wish you the best at everything 🥰
@@forgetit8415 Thank you so much!!!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart💓
From the bottom of my heart, you are very welcome and thank you for your support. :)
Thank you so much. I have been showing alot of jealousy with my boyfriend friend's. His friends are all female's. This video will help me to deal with my jealousy.
I am glad I was able to help in any way! :) As long as he is respecting your feelings and his friends are as well, you'll all be able to get along. I wish you well!
Think you
Such a great video ❤️ Thank you
Love your support!!! 🥰❤️
Such a great video and understanding it’s something I desire on no one jealousy is such a killer and for all the people who are in wonderful amazing relationship don’t let it get to you
Yes, I agree it can be such a defeating feeling! But it’s also something we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over because it happens to everyone 💗 Just remember it can always be worked on and it doesn’t have to take over our lives ✨
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
I think am overcoming my jelousy quickly. I had pain in my life that caused me to scared. My curent boyfriend is loving and his not shaddy. So is becoming easier to overcome my issue.
I know it's tough to trust again, especially after being betrayed. It's okay to feel anxious because of this! I'm so glad to hear that it's getting easier for you to overcome your jealous feelings, that takes a lot of work! I'm proud of you for being strong! :)
Thank you for watching the video!
I can honestly relate to your 5 tips.
Thank you! I'm glad they speak to you :) Thanks for watching!
Thank you very much for your words, I felt understood
That's amazing to hear!!! I'm glad you feel heard, stay strong Mandy. :)
Thank you so much this was much needed
I'm so happy this helped you! :) Stay strong!
@@glowwithvero will do 💜
I really liked your point of view! Take a step back + bias are things will try to remember Thank you
Thank you so much for watching! I'm glad this helped in any way and you feel heard. :) Stay strong, I believe in you!
Thanks girl , true talks
You are very welcome, I'm glad it helps! :)
She is so sweet
thank you, its comforting me
I'm glad, stay strong and hang in there! 🥰
Thank you so much for this video, I'm going to try these tips starting tonight!
Yay!!! Wishing you the best, you've got this! :)
Loved this video. I need your help with something I’ve been going through. Recently my boyfriend has been seeing his friend more and the friends girlfriend more, all 3 of them always hang around but I’m scared he will start to develop feelings for his friends girlfriend... any idea how I can stop this thought?! And I’m always jealous when he spends time with his friends because I feel he’s having more fun with them than me
Hi Hannah, I'm sorry you're going through some anxiety right now..!
Is your boyfriend not putting effort into spending time with you? And is he not putting in effort in the time he's spending with you? If he is putting effort, then you would need to challenge the anxious thoughts you have and remind yourself how much he cares about you. If that's not the case, then you will need to communicate how you are feeling neglected.
If it's even a possibility that you feel like your partner is having feelings for your friend's girlfriend, then you need to take a step back to see if this is the relationship you want if this can even happen. Your boyfriend should be respectful in putting up boundaries and making sure you don't feel that way.
If he is, however, making you feel safe and respected, and he listens to you when you communicate this, you will need to work on talking to your anxious feelings and calming them, letting them know your are safe and your partner is different than those that have hurt you before.
As I don't know the situation too much, this is all I can say for now. I hope this helps, hang in there and stay strong 💗💞
This video was so helpful
I’m very glad! Stay strong 😊
I am hurting. Cant stop it. . Thankyou
Hang in there!!! I know the feeling and it can be so tough... But you've got this, you just need to be kind to yourself and be strong. :)
I’m so happy I watched this video. It has enlightened me and comforted me. It just so relatable that I am now encouraged to really work on bettering myself and doing away from these constant jealous thoughts. Thank you, thank you, thank you.🥰
I'm so happy to hear this!!! Thank you so much for watching, I hope your healing journey has been going well so far :)
Thank you so much!!
You are very welcome, Chynella! Stay strong ❤️
Thank you so much 🥰
You are very welcome! :)
You helped me. Thank you.
Awww, I'm happy to hear! I wish you the best!!!
I’m 21 and I have a boyfriend that I’ve been with sense high school for 7 years and I love him and care for him so much but I’m so full of jealousy and I feel insecure about myself when I see these other better looking woman then me and I feel like I shouldn’t be controlling or jealous or wanting to know where he is every second of the day but it’s a struggle I lost my virginity to him so it’s like I love and care so much for him and is worried about him looking or wanting another woman and I feel like I have no one to talk to and it’s a stressful situation
Hi Monique, congrats to you and your boyfriend being together for so long! In saying this, is there a specific reason you feel this jealousy even after being together this long? Is he being respectful of your feelings and your trust?
If so, it sounds like there are things you need to work within yourself. It sounds difficult and hard to hear, but it's for the best. Working on your confidence, understanding that you can't control the world (aka, can't control that attractive people do exist), controlling your own emotions in situations that trigger you. Be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel hurt but that doesn't mean it's okay to keep hurting your partner over it, too. Work on loving yourself and trusting your boyfriend won't hurt you, or you will lose him inevitably.
If he IS disrespecting your feelings, you need to have a real conversation with him and yourself. Talk to him about the uncomfortable things he is doing and how it makes you feel. If he continues, you need to be able to figure out if you want to stay in this relationship, regardless of how long it's been. Your happiness comes first!
Hope this helps, wishing you the best. :)
These comments making me feel like im not alone. Thanks
I’m happy to hear that! We’re here for you ❤️
Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story. Great advice as well. I just don't understand the last one so good. It is true that no one is perfect but for this thought doesn't help. because what does it mean. Just because we are not perfect it can happen that I can get hurt and betrayed again? I am faithful and not betraying and also not doing actions that are ambiguous. Does it mean that I am perfect now? Can anyone explain it to me, please?
I get that we all can make mistakes but a mistake like betraying is unforgivable for me and therefore number 5 doesn't help me.
Hey there! 💕 Thank you so much for the support, I really appreciate you taking the time to watch my video!
In saying that - I definitely hear your point and have struggled with this feeling as well. When I was saying people aren’t perfect, I was referring to how we can’t just expect everyone to not make mistakes along the way that will make us feel jealous. This tip is to help regulate our expectations when we get hurt. Often if we go into a relationship thinking “this person is perfect, they’ll never cheat on me” and then they DO, having the pre-existing bias of “nothing bad will ever happen” will ultimately crush you. The opposite is true if people say “humans are the worst, everyone cheats on each other”, then you’ll always be bitter in relationships.
My point is - nothing is ever *perfect*. We can’t control perfection nor should we expect it - yes, we can have high standards, but to really open our eyes to the reality of how people are imperfect will save us from a lot of pain.
If we go into a relationship with such a strong mindset of “don’t you ever cheat on me - you should be perfect” then you’ll start to nitpick things that seems like they’re “imperfect” - when really they’re just human. What if they forget to reply right away because they fell asleep? What if they laughed a little “too hard” at someone’s joke? What if they sit a little too close to someone you didn’t like? These are just small examples of them not being “perfect” when it’s all in our head. We can’t control these things and we don’t know the whole story.
Hope this helps clarify my point a bit more! ❤️
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
Omg I have been struggling with this for so long. Ty. Ty for helping to teach us how to recognize and stop without belittling the trauma we went through. But I do have 9ne question, does it ever stop? Like will I eventually learn to just trust. Like I trust people u til I'm given a reason not to and it was a small ish thing that my bf did but I'm very traumatized from a previous relationship and I have those biased glasses on wondering why he went to my cousins fb page or why he is looking up his old ha crush on FB like I love my bf and I'm he loves me he wouldn't cheat on me like my head believes that but my heart is like wait a sec I've thought that before
Hey Brooke, I totally hear you!! My short answer is: yes. It does stop eventually. BUT, it also can come back just as quickly - the trauma and our defence mechanisms are so hard to forget, and just know you’re not alone ❤️
On that same note - it’s also important to make sure your partner respects your boundaries. I believe that he wouldn’t cheat on you, but that also doesn’t mean he gets to disrespect your trust either through questionable actions. Checking on a crush seems a little fishy to be honest. I wonder what the reason could be as I don’t know the full story. I would be open in conversation with him to say how you feel, and see how he responds.
Best of luck - and stay strong!!! You deserve happiness!!! 💫
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
_ John 14:13-17
This might sound hard, but you don’t need love, you need God, and God will give you everything that is good for you. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill things that THEY need. They will only love you if you meet their needs, and might leave you anytime. But God will never leave you because He loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him.. yet He cares for you more than anyone that you love does.
Also Jesus said:
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12