Positive Side of Being Trans??
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2024
- hey!
I made a video years ago about the "perks" of being trans. I was angry at the time and couldn't see anything good coming out of being trans.... but hellooooo I wouldn't be where I am today without the experiences I've had.
Let me know what you think!
(heres the video from 2012: • the "perks" of being t... )
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Sometimes I feel like life might be simpler if I had been born cis, but I wouldn't change the fact that I'm trans for the world.
+Milly S. I feel the same. I would never want to be born cis, but if I could suddenly become cis and still keep all of my experiences, that would be cool.
Milly S. Same
If I was born cis I have no idea who I'd be. Being "female" and socialized as female and thinking I was female have been a huge part of my life. I struggled a lot with sexism and gender roles. I fear that if I'd been born as a cisgender boy, I'd be a sexist, transphobic jerk like those annoying boys I grew up with. Everything could've been handed to me. I am so proud of all the shit I've battled, and although I wish I was cis, it wouldn't be me anymore! 85% of the things that have happened in my life and that have shaped me, good and bad, wouldn't have happened if I'd been born a cisgender man. Being trans has made me so incredibly strong in so many ways.
If I would have the same friends as I have now, I would a 100% want to be cis. I really like the person I am now but it's just THE BODY. I fucking hate it. And the fact that people see and treat me as a girl. The rest about me is good tho, I really like my personality.
I totally feel you.
You kind of have to think of it as the Butterfly Effect.
A thing I would see as something positive for me being trans is that it opened up my understanding for all different sexuality And genders etc. It's made me more educated for myself and others and back when being that confused child if I was born cis I don't think I would be as accepting.
+Dern Dude yes that's exactly what I'm talking about. Generally the trans community is welcoming and nice. I'm pretty sure with out being trans myself I wouldn't see that and would be negative and I also think that's what the problem is. When people don't personally have the "problem" or have a situation where they're classed as trans they find it difficult to be generally interested. Therefor shutting off people who could impact there life positively. C:
For me:
Would I go back and be born cis? No, I've grown alot through this experience.
Would I turn my current body to cis? Obviously.
Old OG Channel. That is exactly how I feel.
I'm pretty in the middle of my transition right now; I've been on T for 10 months and am read as male 100% of the time in society. I'm (hopefully) having top surgery in January, and am close to getting all my legal documents changed.
I definitely think there are positive sides of being trans. I don't think I would have the same friends that I do. I know first hand what it's like to be catcalled, so I don't do it to women. Plus, since I'm a man, guys take me more seriously than they do women. So I use the experiences I've had as someone viewed as a woman by society to educate men. I don't tell them I've experienced those things, but I let them know that they are NOT cool, and generally, men will listen to me because they see me as "one of their own." It's shitty that men won't listen to women, but it's the reality.
+Dollar Store Coffee don't get me wrong; I definitely hate being trans sometimes. It makes me want to cut all my fingers and limbs off and everything until I am nothing (super fun, I know). But I agree with you in that there are positives as well.
+Dollar Store Coffee hmm may i ask you how old are you? just curious.
+El Hoho I'm 19. I 1000% recognize that I'm incredibly privileged to be this young and this far into my transition.
Dollar Store Coffee haha yeah im jealous of you:) but i wish you all the best and everything go well! i probably would do that in my late life as my fam is against it, i love them so i will be in middle for most of my life, but when they die ill do same like you:) Best wishes for you and be strong:)
All I want is to be cis. I'm pre t stealth and I hate it. In the summer I hide in my room because I can't stay stealth outside of it. I just want to be cis so I don't have to lie that my binder is because of a rib problem to my team mates. So I won't turn down girls I like because I feel obligated to tell them. So I won't have dysphoria. I wish I was cis more than anything else in the world.
glad you brought this topic up...and you are right. I'm a 50yr old mtf and transitioned at the age of 16 yr old. and still face all sorts of negative critiscisms and judgements by society. Not to mention stressing out to look passible to fit in. but with all of that I stay optimistic that one day we all will be accepted as who we are and not what we have between our legs. So you have every right to express your thoughts as there are allot of us out there that feel the same. we Obviously can't wait force society to change but definitely educate what they don't know what it's like being transgender. keep up the positivity as it will help you on your journey.
i mean i totally get the "it's not a curse" thing but like let's be real it feels like a curse
I completely agree. I find myself so often saying "I'm so glad I'm trans" and I would never want to be born cis. Not that being cis is terrible, but I wouldn't be as aware or as understanding and accepting as I am now. It's helped me become the person I am and I think it's helped my family grow as individuals as well which is awesome.
I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit in the last few months. It's interesting and has helped me not be so negative.
AND YES about being afraid to talk about depression because people will think it's due to or caused my being trans. Naw, it didn't. Why is that so hard for people to understand??
Sometimes I wish I was cis, but being trans is a huge part of who I am.
I totally feel you. For me, figuring out gender stuff was the catalyst for a whole bunch of personal growth. I love that I'm trans, and I definitely don't wish that I was born cis. I would have probably been a boring douchebag.
I can so much relate to all you're saying (and I'm pre-everything). Earlier in my life I was so angry that I was not just born a guy but this was when I hadn't really come out to myself yet and going through that process of accepting myself as trans made me way more tolerant than I was before. Also the fact that I was socialized female made me more empathetic etc.than I would have been if I was raised like my brothers. I've thought about this "would I want to be cis if I could" in the more recent past and I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't want to be cis because of this because being trans made me to the person I am today, as you said. (sry for any language mistakes, I'm German)
I think the assumption that we would all want to be cis is really hurtful and fosters this unattainable cis ideal. Imagine society told you "no-one would want that, that's just the worst, right?!" about any other "characteristic" about yourself. It hurts and it creates shame, especially because there is nothing we can do about it.Also, the question about the positive sides of being trans becomes quite a different one if you're looking at it from a non-binary perspective and/or people who strive for androgynous bodies. What would be the alternative to being trans in that case? What kind of experiences would come with growing up as an androgynous person? I'm non-binary and I think being born into this body is acutally the best way things could have turned out, because with surgery and hormones I can now shape my body into something very close to my inner picture, but I didn't have to deal with what would have been (probably) very difficult experiences as a kid and teen.
So I came out to my mum a little while ago. She's trying her best to be supportive but she doesn't understand a lot of it, which is fine; I don't expect her to, you know? I kind of want to show her some of your videos because your views are so great and you're so well informed about like everything, but at the same time my chosen name is also Chase (a coincidence I swear) and I don't want her to think I'm copying you or something, you know? I still think part of her thinks there must be a concrete reason I'm trans, like a medical reason or a scientific reason, or something I've seen or something. And I'm not used to being taken seriously at all so I'm too scared to show her these awesome videos.
You're really awesome Chase, you're a wonderful person and so cool and funny and intelligent and your views are so down-to-earth and really great >< you're like an inspiration, seriously
Ok I'mma go now
i can relate to everything you have said, although a perk of being trans for me would definitely be the community.
being trans is hard. being trans has led me to meet so many amazing people, I've never had such a fantastic support system
It is really hard to not be negative about it.
I guess my "moment" hasn't came around yet.
This video means so much to me. This is EXACTLY how I feel. Thanks, Chase.
I'm lucky enough that I don't often get dysphoria too badly (both body and social), though there are still a few times where I've felt awful because of that. However, gender euphoria is amazing. The first time I got an email starting "Dear Felix,", I was grinning for an hour and a half. And that is definitely a positive side of being trans - that joy from finally being recognised as who you are, which most people don't experience.
Chase, I'm 58 and use to think I wanted to be a man.Everything happens the way it's Sappose to, I really love your vidios.I like that you talk about things no one else will. You've awncered a lot of my questions. Keep up the good work and don't worry about what people say. The problem is in their head not yours.
I mean... There are a lot of times where I've just been like "fuck this i wanna be cis", but it's kind of weird to think like that. Like, i would probably be great to be born cis??? idk?? but like?? it's weird to think about and honestly most of the time it's not a big thing to me.. so I kinda agree w u
I do think it's important to try and see the positive sides of it all, even if there aren't many. We'll have to deal with this shit probably the rest of our lives anyway. Obviously it's still really horrible, and it takes a long time to accept, but only being negative about it won't help the case. I think it was really good of you to adress this. You're a champ !
There definitely is an upside to being trans. Personally, some positive things for me are: the wonderful community I've been able to connect to (TH-cam and in my home town), i feel like I'm a more compassionate person because of my experiences, learning more about social justice, learning about gender and sexuality and all that great stuff, getting a broader understanding of people. There are definitely some wonderful things that come out of this process, but it ain't easy. Great video!! I love to listen to you talk. I can tell that you put a lot of thought into what you are saying. Keep on being a great role model! =)
I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I'm still bitter about the physical aspects of being trans like having to take t and get surgery to be comfortable but i wouldn't choose to be cis if I could. My family is really conservative and I grew up in a really unaccepting atmosphere. I'd rather be in this physical and mental pain than risk ending up a misogynist. I think fighting for everything I have has made me a lot stronger and I don't think I would be so open with myself (i'm pansexual) and others and I think this is really the only way I can reach my full potential. If I were cis it would have been so much easier. I probably wouldn't have the same mental health issues. I would go through high school and college easily, doing something that barely interested me. I think this is the only way I can really do some good in the world because of how far from complacent I am. I would rather have this struggle than ignorance. Once I started accepting my identity, I had a lot of trouble with being angry with all the things I have to deal with. I'm still angry sometimes. But I'm honestly thankful for being trans because it's made me my best self despite my flaws and the fight is making me stronger. I don't know if I'll even live to be thirty; everything feels so unstable right now. But I'd rather die young and do something worthwhile rather than go through life without questioning the oppressive system that would benefit me if I were cis.
Sorry this is so long, apparently I feel strongly about this. Please reply and add your input, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Yes! We are negative! Gah! I'm negative and I really dislike it. I try my best to see the positives. But I would never give up being Trans. I think I have grown a lot and helped others to grow. Fuck, I hate that I wasn't born with a dick. I hate that I didn't grow up knowing I was a boy... but I still wouldn't change it. I like me. I really, actually like me. Even on the days that I can't get up and go out into the world. I let myself have my bad days. And now I am vloging and I am proud of how far I have come.
I hope that one day I can be as much of an inspiration as you are to me. Thank you for your raw authenticity.
I think you do such a good job being respectful of others' experiences/lives/opinions. Thanks for that.
Hi. I found you today. You're perfect the way you are. I see a fun man. You're amazing. I can't help wondering what kind of education you're pursuing.
I'm sorry your journey (and that of others in your shoes) required so much struggle (T, surgery,etc). If your changes could've been built in instead of sought, it would've been less painful. I wouldn't wish struggle on anyone - but its part of survival. You wouldn't have blossomed into the young man you are without fighting for yourself.
America makes it harder than it should be. Maybe someday our country will catch up with more progressive society. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Thank you for sharing your joyful insight. I bet you are a lot of fun at work. You remind me of one of my favorite bosses (a pharmacist.)
I'm pretty much an average mom with 2 adult kids around your age. I'm learning more about the LBGT community all the time, although it doesn't seem to include any of my immediate family members to my knowledge. Your input raises my awareness. I love your joyful attitude.
If you have a blog and/or affiliate links, please advise. Take care, dear person. Ill be tuning in for your friendly broadcasts ;-)
I hate that my paragraph indents disappeared & I can't seemto edit my typos. Sorry for the sloppiness.
+Kate Hare McIntosh Hey! I'm currently doing my masters in sociology. I'm going to focus on trans identity and tattoos for this research - very exciting stuff.
I have a facebook fan page (facebook.com/uppercasechase1) and all my links are on there! :)
Thanks for your support :D
I wouldn't ever change the experiences I've had because they led to me. I appreciate my trans identity for the deeper levels of self love and self exploration that it is forcing me to do.
Great video! I liked how you didn't fall into the "just think positive and everything will be ok" individualizing BS that people adopt but acknowledged that being able to talk about the bad things is important. At the same time I agree that being trans means having access to certain kinds of experiences and insights you wouldn't otherwise have and it's important to highlight these in our struggles against cis-normativity (though as you also said this isn't everybody's battle to take on if they so find identifying as trans is not something that fits their lives).
I feel you, Chase! It makes my brain hurt too. I think while your in your first stages, at least, it can sometimes be good to have the balance of positivity and negativity, but just try not to overthink yourself and life.. and ahh I'm tired but ya know, you will find balance, friends.
I turned 40 this year and began to transition in March. It definitely has been a roller coaster, but I began to realize that all the sucky stuff I've had to deal with in my life has brought me to a place where the good stuff would not have been possible without being trans. I would not have met some of the amazing people that are my family today if I were cis. I am finally "me"... the person I've kept boxed up all these years, and have a wonderful group of friends (who are family), a wife, a son, and my wife's family. I have a ton of health issues, and often have to rely on people to help me with my day to day stuff, and am greatful that I'm not alone and trying to navigate this life. I also think that the difficulties of trying to fit into this world as my birth gender, gave me an opportunity to relate to women's issues, and made me a better man in the process. Maybe I can help change the opinions of transphobic people I encounter, when they see that I'm not the Boogyman, and am a human being that just wants to be treated decently. We are all creatures who are designed to evolve, and maybe my evolution will help my soul grow to be more compassionate, accepting and less fearful. If I am meant to help others evolve as well, then I am honored to do so.
Good Subject topic! And nice job on the semi-rigid-recanting of the previous attempt. I have viewed the "perks" video recently and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Our perceptions change as we get older/experience more and those harder times and opinions did & do matter.
I think a subject just as important, if not bigger, is "How our lives effect the ones we love" . My sister recently told me that she wouldn't be as strong and liberal as she is without me as her role model. I always worried that watching me struggle would damage her... But I was wrong.
Keep up the good work Chase! I love you, man. I believe you were meant to do what you're doing here.
this does make a lot of sense! Every time something crappy happens or I'm just like "great, why did that have to happen?", I just think that that will make me into the totally awesome dude I see in the future. It probably would of been good being born cis, but then I would be a different person.
(i love your videos btw)
I feel you on the days where you think about and wish that you had been born cis. I am lucky to have the support behind me to continue my journey. They keep reminding me that it will help me be me but happier.
No it definitely makes you have a better understanding of things. Being part of a minority group makes you more aware of things and I honestly feel blessed to have been born and raised female in Syria because I really got to see how shitty things are for Arab women and all. Plus because of how badly I want to start transitioning I feel like I'm finding ways to be okay with what I have rn because it's gonna be like this for a while so once I get top surgery I feel like I will legit be so thankful for it because it's gonna help in so many different ways whether as if I were a sis guy I would have taken my body for granted and never understood body dysphoria. So I Dk it's very hard being a minority but we are woke af and I'm honestly so thankful that I'm not a snobby cunt. (I'm not saying privileged ppl are snobby, still consider myself to be privileged in some ways and I know that I am unaware of things because I never had to go through them and shit)
I wish more people would have this kind of thinking. Yeah, being trans at times is a struggle, but I truly believe every little thing that has ever happened in your life has made you who you are to this very day. I've been out as a trans guy for a year and a half. It's hard at times, especially when I go places and they use female pronouns and some people even use my birth name to hurt me. I'm 17 and at a stuck point in my transition, due to not having medical. I lost mine, because my dad got a raise and I decided to move out, so my girlfriend and I could be on our own. But, yeah. It sucks. I wish I could figure out a way to get on T and get things moving, but I know me being trans has made me understand the world a lot more. It's made me appreciate everything in life, whether or not I'm struggling with transitioning. Chase, you make me realize that it's possible to be happy even when things get tough. I always watch your videos, when times are hard for me. You are an amazing guy and your videos always make me smile. :)
I agree with you. I'm pre-t because I'm still serving in the military and I do have my bouts with depression but I'm trying to enjoy the journey as much as I can and learn from it. I know I will get to where I need to be when the time is right. It's just choosing what thoughts you want your mind to soak in. And by saying that, I don't mean that our struggles don't mean anything. But as you mentioned, we really do grow from our experiences.
this is an awesome topic to discuss. I love that you brought it up. I, personally, have a love-hate relationship with being trans. being pre everything sucks and being in the wrong body sucks. but I was socialized female for 25 years. I feel like I get a backstage pass to women's minds that other men couldn't dream of having. I, myself, wouldn't want to be born cis. I wouldn't be the person I am today. if anything, I would like to be who I am today, and just wake up in the right body, but not forget my time as being female.
being cis would be easier but it's not the easy aspects of life that make you who you are. getting through tough times is what shapes your morals and values. I'm glad you're the chase you are. personally, I love you lol. glad you're here!
i've never thought of it this way. i really wouldn't change the fact that i'm trans, i love the friends i have now because of it and the community i'm surrounded by. it'd be a lot easier if i were cis, but i'm also proud to say i'm trans. i would still be really transphobic if i wasn't, so it's also good that this opened my eyes. i learned about a lot more things since i found out i was trans too.
Because I'm trans its made me more open-minded and being socialized as a female I feel like thats made me more respectful and understanding towards women.
My doctor Esben Esther (a nonbinary trans-icon in Norway) calls us Trans-gifted (transbegavet), because no matter how painful something is, when you start becoming proud of it it becomes a gift. That made me feel a lot better about myself.
Je trouve particulièrement intéressant la partie où tu dis que toi, ainsi que plusieurs de tes amis trans, ne voudraient pas être nés en tant qu'homme cis. Ça me fait penser, qu'à quelque part, l'identité se construit, d'une certaine manière, par les expériences vécues, des expériences qui doivent être assumées, pour que l'ont acceptent qu'elles participent de notre identité.
You've really changed my viewpoint. My mother would doubt me at times due to feminine mannerisms, and I was questioning myself because of that. If I was really transgender or just affected by trends and media, and grew a bit doubtful of myself, but- A lot of a person is how they were raised. I would love to have been born a 'normal' male, but would I still have had girlish quirks or was that set in by being raised to be some little pink-loving, sensitive, and feminine little girl? Thank you, Chase. This video has helped me think outside of how I normally do.
If I had the choice to be cis right now, not from where I was born, but to magically turn cis right now, then I would. But not to be born cis, because like you said, there were so many great experiences and great friends that I have made, because I am trans. There is equallly or probably even more bad things that happened or resulted because of it, too, but I don't want to miss the good ones. I feel like I have become such a accepting and open person, so much smarter and more relaxed with the people around me and even myself, all because I am trans. I wouldn't change that, no.
I like how you say that "we have a right to be upset" and I agree with you. In my mind, I am who I am because I am trans. It isn't who I am completely, but it is such a big part of me. Trans if beautiful. And I know we say it, but it's true. I would not be cis if I could. Being trans made me who I am. Honestly, because of my faith, I think if I wasn't trans then I wouldn't be so loving to the LGBT community, and different people in general.
If I had the choice of being cis or trans, I would choose to be cis because then I would not feel such a disconnect within myself that feels nearly impossible to fix.
With that being said, I am not cis and I never will be. I have accepted that. I have also accepted the fact that being transgender is not the worst thing in the world, and some of the effects have been positive. (I.e., being more openminded, accepting, understanding gender and stereotypes and society a bit better, etc.). I don't know who I would be if I had been born cis. I probably would have had different problems that seemed like the end of the world, and if you asked me, I would probably tell you that if I had the choice, I would wish those problems away.
I guess what I'm saying is there is no changing what is already so. I am transgender. That is just a part of me. It has shaped who I am and what I will become, and that's okay.
I agree with you, Chase. You are not alone.
How dose anyone not think he's the biggest sweetheart ever
"I've noticed that.... we're really negative." I laughed so hard at this and I'm not even sure why. There was something absolutely hysterical about your tone of voice and I mean, you're not wrong. We're negative as hell.
There definitely is quite a bit of negativity amongst the trans community. But there is some positivity as well. For me personally I try to remain pretty positive and look at it as a positive experience. I've learned a lot about myself and the community. It's lead me to researching it more and informing others on the trans community and really getting involved more. While there are times where I get down and think that it shouldn't be this way and these struggles aren't something a lot of people have to deal with I still try to keep positive. If it wasn't this way then I wouldn't be where I am today and I think that's a really important thing to realize
I am grateful for not being cis because I would probably be a jerk like my brother. As much as this is a harder life in so many ways I would not trade it because I think it has taught me resilience and a heck of a lot of patience and opened my eyes to the privileges that I DO have.
Hey Chase, I think it's a great idea to start this conversation and since you said it was only for you, I don't think you will offend anybody. Actually, I was writing an article for my blog about this ! :D But it's in French so I'll just sum up here my points ! The positive points of being trans (for me, I'm just talking from my own experience, and I'm an afab non-binary transmasculine person) are :
- having a unique perspective on the world, understanding so well my gender and what is gender in general, understanding better how heterocisnormativity works to dismantle it.
- being a better ally for others, being a better feminist for having been socialized as female, being more open minded and tolerant
- having a lot of courage, knowing myself really well because I had to think a lot about myself because I'm trans and (TW) being a warrior for getting my periods
- feeling gender euphoria :D
- being part of a trans revolution that will free society for gender norms and enable trans people to be accepted.
Remember it's only my personal experience. I'm interested to hear from other's experiences as well :)
I'm a very isolated person and sometimes I wish there was a way I could not feel like an outsider all the time. I've thought about this a lot and I think if I'd been born a cis-male I would probably be a worse person and in many ways I'd be struggling even more. Not only that but I think my entire family would be different and not in a way that's better.
I come from a family that is very big into gender roles, Catholicism and all-round repression of emotions and I think that coming to terms with my emotional self would've been even harder if I were cis. I also remember all the conversations I've had with my little brother about feminism and talking about how we feel and all those would probably be absent. I wouldn't be studying what I'm studying, I wouldn't have all these close female friends (who I love) and most importantly I wouldn't have the perspective that I have.
After all that if I was cis there's nothing to say that I wouldn't still always feel like an outsider, that maybe this feeling doesn't come from being trans but rather from some core combination of traits that I would always have had regardless of chromosomes.
I understand what people are saying...as I feel probably to me the only perk is the level of tolerance and understanding I have . I am happy to be that person my friends go to for advice as I try to understand what they are going through.
My girlfriend has been through so much in her life that if I wasn't trans and had experienced my own problems I might not have been understanding of her and wouldn't now be in the happiest relationship of my life.
So while I would never have chosen this life I can see the good things I have picked up along the way by having to live this way
If im feeling great, i wouldn't go back and be born cis, but i know that a lot of my suffering comes from being trans and dealing with dysphoria. I have had many moments where i felt cursed or spited because i haven't been born as my preferred gender. I see the value of my experience, but if i could go back and be cis, that would really make things easier for me
yes definitely pros and cons about being trans. I would lean more to CIS because I hate my body and I want to give birth to a kid :( .....However on the other side I hate telling some people when I am depressed because of how certain people treat me or if I am just having a few bad days then the people that disagree with transgender people then tell me my bad days are because I am trying to be something I am not....how is having bad days because of work and normal life stress have to be the direct relation to me being trans.....stupidity seems to multiply with some people!!!
this was a really good video... u see, i'm a rlly negative person but after watching this i rlly started to think... "huh, yeah being trans is stressful a lot of times but there is some positive things that come from it. i have a gf but identify as male and i'm pre everything; but it's nice cuz i can understand her cuz i was raised as female. thanks chase!" -AJ
Hey. Thanks for posting this. You really got me thinking and I might make a list when I'm not swamped with work.
Honestly, coming from a Transgirl, I am proud I've come as far as I have. I mean how many of us join the Army. (Dysphoria is very much there in basic when it comes time for showers) All the battles mentally and physically, bruised and battle scared. But saying honestly the depression makes me who I am. my pain only built me to be a stronger women than I other wise would've been as a "male"
I think everyone has at least one thing in their life like this... whether it's being trans or some other huge life struggle, that they couldn't imagine not having gone through. I would love to have a cis dick but this is me, it's part of my journey on this earth. Identity and community are huge aspects, and you can see that with other communities such as the Deaf community. Yeah, you can look at it as something 'lacking', but a ton of Deaf folks don't want to be hearing for similar reasons. (Sorry if the comparison is problematic, please call me out if it is!) If life was all sunshine and rainbows we'd sure be boring and lonely people.
Thank you so much. This video came at the perfect time for me because I have been having a lot of stress related problems lately due to my transition and I've just been so sick of everything.
Chase, you are wonderful. Period.
I'm a humorous person, so when people ask me if being trans is all bad I'll joke about it like "I mean, you get to pick your own name and don't have to be stuck with whatever your parents gave you. Oh, and you don't really have to worry about pregnancy when you've started hormones, that's pretty nice for most people."
But in all honesty, I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure being born cis would have been much easier, but I don't regret a single moment of being trans because it's shaped me into the person I am today. I've become strong, and I can stand up for others who need someone to be a voice for them. That to me is worth it.
I feel the exact same way. Sometimes when I'm really depressed I do wish I was a cis guy especially cause I'm not on t yet ( on puberty blockers though) but I still wouldn't want to change it because I've learned so much about emotions and people...
I found your channel lately and I just wanted to say that I really like watching your videos. Keep up making videos Chase! :)
When you're still confused and trying to figure out where you are on the gender spectrum and what to do about it it certainly feels like a curse. I know that maybe where I am is better than others because my dysphoria is fairly weak, but that just makes it harder mentally to find out who I am, makes me feel broken. Some days I'm certain and dysphoric, some days I'm certain and not even slightly dysphoric, some days I'm uncertain and dysphoric and some days I'm uncertain and not dysphoric and trying to remain chill during that rollercoaster is not easy. I also find it hard to talk about gender out loud, saying I'm trans or even referring to myself as a guy or girl out loud just seems strange, pronouns catch me off guard and draw my attention back to how uncertain I am and it feels shameful to admit I'm trans or talk about people as being trans. I dunno, but it's awkward part of the journey and I just wanna get to the part you're at Chase, cause I'm just sinking in quick sand right now :/.
Thank you for making this video. Much appreciated. Hugs!
i totally get what you mean. if i were born cis i wouldnt have made the close friends i have today, and who knows what kind of stuff id be interested in? what if the friendships id have made ended early instead of lasting since elementary school and onward? i think a part of your friends saying they wouldnt want to be born cis is partly because there are things in their life that they really enjoy and wouldnt want to lose
You're good dude....I'm glad to have found your channel.
With Chase's whole thing about being able to connect with women and not knowing how to talk to men, I'm actually the exact opposite. Women are an enigma to me through and through. I only have one female friend and one female acquaintance. Otherwise, all my friends are guys. It's really, really easy for me to talk to guys, but it's really odd when I talk to women because I'm just completely confused towards everything they're talking about. Periods, yeah, whatever, I have them. But that's literally it.
I really love this video. Made me feel a lot better, thank you
sometimes, when im really dysphoric, i wonder why im proud of being trans. i mean, what's so good about dysphoria and things? then i realize that im proud of being who i actually am instead of being what everyone thinks i am. its not the trans part im proud of, its the being myself part, if that makes sense???
I still think like this but listing 'positives' or 'negatives' dosnt help me cos something that is positive today is negative tomorrow and vice versa so looking at this from a long term perspective and seeing that there is still an unknown future I cant ever really determine for certain what is negative
Yeah I have had dreams where I am in the dream cis. Then when I wake up I always remember that I reflect on how I acted in the dream and I'm always saying "Damn I was a douchebag in that dream" and then I go out on my regular day to day schedule and I'm friends with a lot of gay girls and they are always like,"Well if you have grown up socialized female then why aren't you hanging out with females isn't it harder for you to talk to guys since you aren't cis?" and I'm always like whoa what does that even mean like does that invalidate my transition? It is always crazy but I wouldn't trade being trans for the world.
there's a big chance i would be a huge asshole who didn't listen to people and learn if i wasn't trans. i genuinely think i would be a worse person. sure it comes with a price, and the price is terrifying, but i think i'd rather be gentle and kind AND negatively affected by all issues that come with being trans, than end up something i would hate.
if that makes sense.
Yes!!!! So many similar thoughts on this. I think I may want to make a similar video. I relate a lot to this. Thanks for making this :)
If I had been born a cis male, I would have turned out a completely different person in a bad way. So in that respect, I'm glad I wasn't born a cis male. It doesn't change the fact that I'm uncomfortable with my body, but there are ups and downs for all things in life.
Cis guys are so annoying 99 % of the time. Totally agreeing!
So, my biggest thing with this idea in a nutshell is you're right. If I were born a cis man, I would probably have learned to treat women the way all the guys in my family were taught. Honestly, I'd rather be stuck in this god forsaken female body for the rest of eternity than follow in the footsteps of my male ancestors. At least with having been born into this female shell, I carry a sense of pride because I know how to treat women.
Perhaps this is a generational thing but a lot of people, or at least the people I've met and encountered, are far more accepting of being trans. Dysphoria sucks, but it's never gotten in the way of me being proud of my identity. As in, I accept this as a part of myself and know there’s nothing I could do to change it. I don’t want to sit around an be self loathing over not being born cis, because personally I don’t see a point. I think the general contentious that trans=automatically bad life, is changing a lot especially with each generation. Of course discrimination still exists, and society definitely still targets trans people in negative and terrible ways, but I feel since there is so much more positivity and support than there ever has been, even offline, it’s just so much easier to be trans despite that. I wouldn’t ever wish this on anyone, but I'm able to live with this part of myself. I'm not ashamed of being like this, I have people I'm surrounded by who are accepting, and I don't feel so alone because I have community. Overall this for me has made being trans not an all bad of an experience for me (not to brag eeh). So, I wouldn't want to have been born cis. I've been through, and learned, so much about myself. My exploration and growth into my identity and what being a guy means for me, I wouldn't revert that. My experiences with that time of my life weren’t bad ones, I was excited to finally be figuring things out and living as who I always kinda felt I was. I'm transitioning soon too and I'm excited about that as well, even though I know I'll face at least some obstacle (meh gatekeeping). It was a freeing and liberating time for me that being cis would have never given me. Also If I was born cis I don’t think I’d ever be able to acknowledge societies problems or be open with expressing myself however I want with full confidence that it didn't invalidate me being a guy. I feel a bit bad for... fragile cis masculinity you know? My experience with being trans doesn't all suck and that's fine.
I seriously have never thought about it this way. Wow. Some deep shit
I mean I'm in a halfway point about the question. I can find more pride about being trans now then I did in the past. However I still think I'd prefer to be cis. To been assigned female at birth. But you know it's pointless to think about because it's impossible.
i have those kinds of thoughts all the time! i look at the different groups of friends at lunch and i think "if i was born cis, i would still be friends with him and i would probably be in that friend group" and that friend group is terrible. i think i've learned a lot of good things from being trans but im not sure that (for me personally) it compares to actually being born a boy. i'm not sure because i could never be in that situation but i think being born a boy would make me happier to be alive. but sometimes i think otherwise. i think maybe all of this has made me up and i haven't realized ALL of it yet??
because i am a boy and i always will be. i'll be on t and i'll have surgeries one day and i'll actually get there and be content.
Oh yeah and thank you for the video Chase :) I have been watching/subscribed to your channel since I was like 19 (erm 2009..?) and first time making a comment haha awkward..
I agree there are so many positives.
every cloud has a silver lining!!!
Everything in my life is pretty much negative because I'm miserable but if I was born a cis guy I know that I wouldn't have the people in my that I do now and they mean the world to me so that's great. I'd be a completely different person.
I really want to make a change in the world and help people understand things like being trans, I probably wouldn't want to be doing that. But who knows
thank you for this video. it helped me reflect a lot
I personally would give up so much just to be a cis guy if it was ever possible... I lately deleted all my facebook and phone numbers and stopped talking to everybody I used to know like I'm simulating my death or something lol. I'm staying away from society until I transition so I won't have to come out to everybody and nobody will ever know except for my parents...
im glad that I can control my testosterone where as most cis men are at the mercy of his hormone system. There are cis men i know that are attracted to women but dont know how to talk to them properly where as I feel comfortable and confident to talk to women. Erectile disfunction is not something i have to worry about and the older cis men get the more chance they could get it.
that question "would you be trans if you had the choice to grow up cis?" is screwing my head. I get it, this community is negative and it's good to see the few positives sometimes.
/applauding every word out of your mouth
I would 100000% want to be cis. Like I respect other trans people and love them but I just really wish I was born in the body I was meant to be in.
i def have the same thing about being able to connect with women really well but not knowing how to talk to guy. I have like two guy friends i dont really fit in with other guys but i love the friends i have and fearing that i wouldn't be friends with any of them if i were cis is one of the few reasons i wouldn't want to be cis
Your mustache is super cool.
I'm not transgender
I know what it like to be different. I'm a special person (disability) .
I would really want to be cis because I see my brothers with beards and taller than me and it makes me feel like shit but because I'm trans I can empathize with all trans people unlike a lot of the population so that makes me feel a little bit better