I went to hospital bc i had popped a blood vessel in my eye and a nurse checked my file and saw that it said female and she then asked me why i was wearing boys clothes and had short hair like that has nothing to do with my eye that is bleeding
Not related to transphobic doctors, but a situation involving a transphobic parent and my eye doctor being awesome: My mum kept referring to me as a girl, using fem pronouns, etc, and every time she did I couldn't help but just look away, feeling embarrassed and just overall super uncomfortable. When my eye doctor started talking about me he'd call me by he/him pronouns, or they/them, just avoiding the she/her ones! He totally picked up the hints because I smiled so hard when he did it. It's unfortunate that there aren't enough doctors like him, though :(
We learned about LGBTQ stuff in our middle school sex ed :") But then again our teacher was openly lesbian so it would seem weird to me if she never mentioned anything like that.
yeah, it's nice when it happens, but I think it should be incorporated into the school system so that teachers actually HAVE to talk about it. But that probably won't happen anytime soon, but I do hope it happens.
+neilsberg That impressionable is no kid. It's not like your friend could come up, talk you into being trans and you're on hormones and get your * removed the next day. It is a process which takes years, doctor visits, health insurance or a lot of money, meetings with psychiatrists/psychologists, going through the name change procedure, maybe social trouble, ... and so on. No one would do that if they could be happy the way they are. See.... It's kinda like to say 'no kid should see or meet someone in a wheelchair - maybe they think it's cool and hack their legs off'. It's just ridiculous. So yeah, come back to reality.
dude in spain its a goddamn party. You gotta fill in some kind of 1000 questions test where they ask things like "do you hear demons" , "do you have many personalities" ,"do you like cars/whats the current best car in the market" bc if you want chest surgery you HAVE to be a 100% tipically manly trans man. wonderful
wow thats horribly fucked up. They should make all cis men in spain take that same test if they want to get a prostate exam. I'll bet that law would change quickly
Here in america I had to do that just to start T because my gender therapist wanted a second opinion. (From a person who never worked with trans people.) the test used gender roles to determine ur gender and I think gender roles are a bad social construct so apparently I'm not masculine enough and that lead them to come to the conclusion ive tricked myself into thinking im trans lmfao
A doctor once asked me if I wanted to be a boy because I liked girls. I was 14 and my mom was in the room too and she just blatantly asked this and I literally imploded like wtf?? I asked her why did she just assume my sexuality and she was like "well that's why you want to be a boy right??" and I wanted to yell I actually had to explain the difference between sexuality and gender to a doctor at 14 in front of my mom and btw she still didn't understand
jeleton man Ugh. I got the same thing from my Uncle when I cane out. He started talking about drag Queens and if I wanted to sleep with guys I didn't have to dress like a girl. I tried to explain there is no correlation. I am a girl and I will never have sex. Period. He was so confused and said, "Then why do you want to turn your penis into a vagina?" I said, "Because I'm a girl." He still didn't, and doesn't understand.
I expressed my discomfort with having a physical exam with a nurse at planned parenthood and she told me that "it won't be too bad." And she went through with it. I was in tears and shaking by the time the doc came in afterwards. The doc told me that the next time someone tells me I need an exam to come to her and ask her if it is really necessary. I think places like planned parenthood could benefit a lot from eduction of the trans community. That doc wasn't super educated about the trans experience but she was willing to listen. That's all we need: people willing to listen.
One of my mums friends is a social worker and every time she visit she grills me on various trans things, and will not stop when I get uncomfortable. She also once asked why I don't bind and when I said I'm saving up she told me to bind with bandages?? And don't even get me started on how many counselors have misgendered me even though I always tell them I'm a trans guy using he/him pronouns. The UK is still pretty dang awful too lmao
ethan nerdepic God, no, are you kidding?? Egads, man, that is some cringeworthy shit. It's like she wants you to break a rib. That's fucked up my dude :/
ethan nerdepic that's so odd, I moved to the UK a few years ago with my now husband, and being small and feminine ftm guy, I've been exempted by most people I've spoken too. In my personal experience it's been really excepting. I'm really sorry you go through that. (Sorry for bad English, I'm from Japan)
I'm going to be a nurse someday and I hope that I'm able to make a difference for the trans people who will be in my care. It makes me sad and angry that there are still health care professionals in this day and age who don't know how to have a basic level of respect for their patients.
Hey guys as someone who has also had as experiences I have found it easier for me to ask them a counter validation question so if they ask a question you're uncomfortable with then give it a second of the ought, ask the person if it is medically necessary. That will either stop them in their tracks or validate that they do need to know. And they will walk away thinking about what they did. If they say it's not then tell them you're uncomfortable answering unless it's required.
Phillip Suarez-Hamilton I'm sorry, but I must say, as a Hamilton fan (Broadway show in case you didn't know) I love your username. But I agree, tell them you feel uncomfortable, and maybe even threaten to sue if they go too far.
I once went to the hospital because of tests that my endo wanted me to do. They sent me in the male section, and that was great, but they wanted me to take my clothes off in front of the other male patients (I was like 6 months on T and they knew about me being a FtM). I said no and that saved me, but afterwards they started to ask me questions about menses, always in front of these other dudes. What a shitty day.
Simply Darko Yeah I know. They wanted me to go back for other exams but I never showed up and I changed endo. Fortunately I wasn't ill so I didn't need to go but if I had issues I don't know what I would have done.
Doctors only sometimes need to ask those questions and even so, ask the questions with respect and dignity! It's ridiculous that in this day and age doctors can't figure out the appropriate way to ask for sensitive information. Jeez.
+Claire Smith Doctors are qualified for IMPORTANT life saving skills, bedside manners are the absolute least important skill they can possess. Do you get it? its not a vital part of becoming a doctor, even in this day and age.
I agree it's not necessarily a vital part of becoming a doctor, but if you're going to be dealing with human beings in sensitive situations, you at the very least need good people skills. I'm a Paramedic and wouldn't dream of being so crass about someone's gender identity.
Claire Smith no, see you don't understand,, they don't need good people skills. everyone doesn't have to be sensitive like you. most the world doesn't want it that way. Doctors are smart people and see gender identity issues as exactly what they are, issues. you cant make every crazy person happy.
THE DAMN EAR INFECTION, YES! okay so I'm pre-everything at the moment, getting T soon, but I went in for an ear infection a few months back. I had legally changed my name at this moment, and I think I was passing? but yeah, the doctor asked for what medication I was on and I listed it, including the pill. I quickly explained I was trans. She asks if I'm taking hormones, I get that she asked about it but I would have listed that with my medication of I was on it? Then goes on to ask about my fucking genitals?? "so do you have a penis?" WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT, and then it turns out that this doctor doesn't even KNOW what a trans person is! I have to explain! Then I come in a month later for a burst ovary cyst. Imagine the pain, they didn't even diagnose me, they just said it's probably this and this and pressed on my stomach. I again had to explain what trans is, while in tears and screaming in pain. I went on to tumblr to just complain about this on my personal blog and then get this, I get an anon saying "doctors are too busy doing medical stuff to care about your trans stuff!" excuse me?
So, I'm not a trans person but my husband is a transguy. I went to a gyno and when she got to the questions relating to birth control I said well actually my husband is trans so it's not an issue and she proceeded to ask me some of the most inappropriate questions I've ever heard about him. SHE ACTUALLY ASKED ME IF HE HAD A SCROTUM OR NOT. Like WTF does that have to do with me or what I was there for? I can only imagine if a doctor thinks it's okay to ask these questions of the partner of a trans person (and she blatantly admitted it was because she was curious) what y'all go through.
As a medical personnel, some doctors and nurses are unprofessional and that's makes me upset. As a nurse or doctor or whatever your position is you are supposed to be nonjudgmental and just do what you can to HELP the patient. As a person who came into this career to help and do my best to better the lives of someone, it makes me so upset that someone is scared to seek help due to being judged or any other reason. I think it's a great idea to incorporate trans education within the medical field! That's was a lot hahaha.
As a nurse (in the US, not sure how different it is in Canada), I know that the ER will take your ENTIRE medical history, even if it doesn't seem to pertain to your current medical complaint (such as an ear infection). Small things, like ear infections, can sometimes spiral into something crazy like sepsis which is life threatening. Situations like this are obviously rare, but the info helps with 1) crazy rare emergencies and 2) it covers the hospital's butt against law suits. However, doctors and nurses should be aware of how they ask these types of medical questions as to not offend people. If I personally had to ask a trans person if they had bottom surgery for whatever reason (for a procedure, test, etc), I would make sure I immediately explain why I am asking so the person doesn't think I'm just being nosey. For example, "Mam, I need to insert a catheter into your urethra in order to drain urine from your bladder because of your bladder infection. Have you had bottom surgery by chance? If you have, I would like to ask a colleague for help with this procedure who is more familiar with MTF anatomy so this can be as smooth of a process for you as possible."
My first appointment with a GP to get a referral to a gender therapist was bad, it could have been worse, but it was uncomfortable. He asked me some really weird questions when I told him I wanted a referral to that doctor. He said things well "oh do you watch sports on tv", asking if i had any favourite teams... and other stuff trying to quiz me on my masculinity. He thought I have to like certain things to be trans and it was complete bs.
Bump that! I identify as male and am openly trans. I paint my nails, wear wigs, put on makeup. And watch "girly" tv shows and movies. Nothing has a gender and that Doctor should fuck themselves.
When I was 19 I was figuring out whether or not I was trans, and if I was, where would I go with that. At that point I was only "out" to one friend. I really needed to talk to a professional about this, so I went to a psychologist that I hadn't seen since I was 15-6ish. I went into his office, sat down and said "I think I may be suffering from gender dysphoria". His response was to immediately as me if I wanted to have an operation. He went on to ask what I wanted to do (If I were being honest, I would've said that I just wanted to talk out some feelings and figure some shit out). Instead, I told him that I believed that the, and excuse me for phrasing it this way, "normal course" was to get on HRT, live full time and then think about surgeries. To this he says, "Oh, yes. There are hormones you can take and they'll make you grow boobs and whatnot.". Then he started asking what was it about girls that made me want to be one; was it the glamour of putting on make-up and getting all dolled up, or was it from an appreciation of them the way that one may appreciate greyhounds or horses, like, their aesthetic? I was really taken back by the way he conducted himself and it took me six months to get the courage to try again to talk it over with another psychologist. >=(
It was suggested to me that I go to a certain hospital with their team of cutting-edge doctors downtown Toronto here known for their trans-acceptance. Bullshit I say, they assumed as soon as one makes it known that they are trans that their world is expected to fall apart as you are supposed? to become jobless and homeless. Well none of that happened to me and I'm still here and last year I was 5 yrs into my transition and my female parts decided to ovary-react that year to my exercising. I started having periods again after 5 yrs of being completley period free. I went for pap-tests and ultrasounds and they were all found to be "inconclusive" I waited months to be refered to their obgyn and when my appointment finally did come up, he didn't even examine me! I was told to come back after I lose some weight, but I'm bleeding like a stuck pig here. If I had a heart attack would you wait until the patient becomes a "more comfortable size" to start treatment?! Luckily a friend saw me out of all this and suggested I see his obgyn, who ends up seeing all other rejected transmen it seems, bless her heart. I was diagnosed with fibroids and endometriosis and was given pills to stop spontaneous bleeding. I was eventually scheduled for a hysterectomy in January and have been bleed-free ever since. So ya, don't accept blame for not getting proper treatment, even if you are overweight. You can't lose weight if there is something else medically wrong with you. Thanks for reading my long post but I just had to share.
This video is too real #bless. 14 y/o me, after coming out to my doctor she says: "Okay so..... I don't really know what that is. Teach me." Then half way through my explaining, "LIKE CHAZ BONO" ...yes..? And then I saw a therapist who said she was gonna misgender me for my dad's comfort and that "it's always hard to have transgendered patients". mhm okay.
So I actually switched doctors due to my doctor being EXTREMELY transphobic. I was around 15-16 when I started seeing her and wasnt on T yet. At that point she never used the correct pronouns or name no matter how much I corrected her and constantly asked when my mental health would be getting treated because she thought my 'mindset' was harming me. Once I started T i literally couldnt go in for anything without her blaming it on T. She wrote off a UTI, flu symptoms, bronchitis, and even hip dysplasia as things that were happening to me because I was on T, so i should stop and then she would treat 'the remaining symptoms'. Thankfully my doctor now is really great with the whole trans thing, he only asks about it in terms of making sure my heart is okay and my thyroid levels are okay (which is fine since i have auto immune diseases).
I've had some shitty experiences with medical professionals, but since i haven't started transitioning physically yet it is at least more on the misgendering side and less on the just plain wrong and awkward one (which is still bad). The one issue I can really talk about are therapists. I swear, there was this one woman that was supposed to be helping me with trauma and with living in an abusive household, but what she decided to focus on the one time I tried to tell her how I felt about my gender identity. Some of them don't just want to invalidate you, they want to MAKE it an issue. As if me thinking that i might be trans was what caused me to feel unsafe at home. It was such a fucked up scenario. But the biggest lesson I learned was from dealing with my next therapist. She was awesome, until I brought up me being trans. It made me realise, some of these people don't know anything about the topic. It's wrong, it's unfair, but you have to teach them stuff. You don't have to prove anything to them, but you need to be bold and tell them if something they're saying is out of line. You need to explain to them that talking about certain things is not helpful to you and it just makes you uncomfortable. You need to let them know if this is nothing new, and if you've already analysed it enough in your head. A good professional will at least understand that, and will continue to help you with your other problems without linking everything to you being transgender.
You should seek out a gender therapist. They council basic problems like your regular therapist, and they have cis patients/clients, but they specialize in trans issues, and have knowledge of trans people. Go on Psychology Today.com type in your zip code, click on "transgender issues", and viola, gender therapists. I would've never ever, ever ever, have told a basic-ass therapist about my gender dysphoria, and how I am trans, etc. They're not to be trusted, and given your told experiences they've proved me right. They're either ignorant on the subject of transgenderism, or they're willfully ignorant, biased, and bigoted. Seek out a gender therapist, because talking to someone who specializes in trans issues makes all the difference in the world. Mine was so kind, caring, understanding, and helpful, and it seems like that's what you need. Hope I helped, take care. :)
it's awesome that such services exist, but sadly i don't live in america and can't benefit from them... here in greece we barely have regular therapists lol. thank you though, I hope your comment helps someone else :)
The sex ed for transmen is a good idea. Coud be useful for some people. And I'm trans, but I have been lucky since the beginning of my transition and did not really need to go to the doctor for non trans related stuff. The only time I had to see a doctor it was a dermatologist and he was very cool and professionnal about it. He work in a clinic close to the Notre-Dame hospital in Montreal. The only horrible doctor I met was a psychiatrist I knew before my CO. I saw for like 5 months before my CO and 3 months after my CO. She flat out refused to use the right pronouns and name. When the therapist of her team used the right pronouns she would correct them. The other patients were not allowed to use the right pronouns even if they wanted to. She works at Louis-H in Montreal and she is basically an horrible person. If you need help with your anxiety and you're trans just don't go to Louis-H.
The clinic that I have to go to is actually a residency and this is the reason I always say yes to allowing an intern to shadow my visits. My most recent doctor is amazing, she didn't know anything about trans people when she first became a resident but she was willing to learn from me and my GT and I hope that by seeing how she interacts with me and how respectful she is about it, the interns will learn something themselves and it will be easier for everyone when she eventually leaves.
I've been told by both a nurse practitioner and a psychologist at the same facility that I needed to learn to love myself and not care what other people think when I talked about my dysphoria. A psychologist that I was sent to because she supposedly deals with lgbtqa issues, by the way. Suggestions for ftm ppl (and mtf, to a lesser degree) who are nervous about going into the gyno and sexual health in the US, Planned Parenthood is great about gender identity. In some locations you can even get your hormones from there.
This video is actually really helpful to me. I am a pre-T and 16 and in the future I have no idea what to expect after I transition. You help me not fear the future as much. 🙂👏🏽❤️
Like. Those in the trans community have it hard enough. From housing, to the job market, and sometimes doctors and therapists do not make it any better.
I've had plenty of traumatic doctor experiences related to being trans and I've only been transitioning for about 2 years. Just thinking about what can come next is terrifying and anxiety inducing. Warning because this is probably triggering in a lot of ways, and not humorous or anything. These are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head cause they happened recently. Also, I'll add these happened with doctors/psychiatrists that were supposedly trans-friendly. Obviously now I feel like I can't trust anyone when it comes to my health/mental health while being trans. The time I gathered the courage to open up to my psychiatrist about my self harming behaviour and impulses, she just told me "Why don't you try masturbating instead" knowing full well I'm trans and have bad dysphoria. I calmly tried reminding her that I am beyond uncomfortable with my body and just bringing the subject up makes me feel like shit, and she was like "But have you tried it?". No sensitivity, gave no shits about my dysphoria and how just having this conversation was triggering, even when I told her I needed to change the topic of conversation because it made me feel like shit, she was like "You have to face the reality of your body. You can't feel this way towards it." no respect whatsoever. Another time with a different psychiatrist he was asking really invasive questions about me being trans that had absolutely nothing to do with why I was in therapy, so I told him I wasn't there because I was trans and that that information was of no concern to him. He proceeded to lecture me on how he knew so much more about trans issues than I, a trans person, do, all the time saying transphobic shit like "Well, you say you're a boy but your face is feminine." Wow, thanks you absolute piece of shit, like I chose my face to begin with?? "You choose to have a feminine haircut, how can you say you identify as a boy?" (I had a mohawk at the time, so I don't know what the fuck he was on about, but either way, clothes or hair have no gender...) "You say you're trans but you dress really feminine" I was wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans, from the men's section, not to mention I was already on testosterone, but again, literally none of this should make a difference anyways because what someone wears doesn't dictate their gender, and this idiot claimed to be well-versed in trans issues. This one's definitely the worst, major trigger warning. I needed to go to the gynaecologist (yes, this is already starting out bad) so I went to one that I was recommended (I'd never gone to one before). I got there super nervous, explained my situation, stating clearly that I'm trans and male, the doctor nodded but apparently gave no shits, proceeded to call me by my birth name and female pronouns, was super impatient when I told him I was nervous and uncomfortable with the situation, just told me to take my clothes off and lie down for an examination, so I did. I was super anxious and uncomfortable so I asked him to explain everything he'd do and be tactful about the whole situation, he told me if I wasn't going to cooperate that I should just leave. I told him I did want to cooperate but that this was a horrible situation and experience for me and that all I wanted was comprehension and for him to be sensitive about it. I don't want to get into details because it's super traumatic and would be beyond triggering for anyone reading but basically I felt violated and was crying during the examination and the doctor didn't care. After, he was super rude and unsympathetic, told me I was being uncooperative and that he couldn't help me. It goes to show how transphobic the medical system is when I feel I can't trust psychiatrists with my mental health anymore because they either make everything about me being trans or venture into invasive and insensitive territory, or that I can't go to the doctor for an examination without feeling like I'm a burden no one wants to deal with. Sometimes it feels like it's not getting any better. I have a friend my age who is studying to be a doctor and is gay, so you'd think he'd be a little more educated, but when I came out to him as a *trans guy who likes men* he said "are you sure you're not just a lesbian?". Sometimes it feels really fucking hopeless.
+be nice on the internet I'm so sorry you've gone through those things, it makes sense that you have no trust for medical professionals :/ Part of working with people is treating them with dignity and taking care of their mental well-being, and they totally fucked up on that. Wish I could punch them in the face for treating you that way when you were vulnerable, you should have been treated better and I hope you understand that you are in no way a burden. I get that it feels impossible, but I hope that some day you find a good medical professional, that respects you for who you are. Hope things are better for you in the future friend.
suicide tw: i attempted about a month ago & my mom called the police because she didn't really know what else to do, and one of the cops was ridiculously uneducated on trans stuff. i told him that my legal name was different than my preferred name (theo) and while writing his report he said, "okay so i'm just going to assume that you did this because of your gender transition." which is ridiculous because: a) i didn't attempt because of my gender, and b) don't fucking assume that??? and later he asked if i'm on any medication and i told him that i take testosterone and no matter how many times i tried to explain it, he could not grasp the concept of why i, a trans boy, needed to take testosterone. he kept saying that my "male puberty" would happen "naturally" and that i didn't need "even more testosterone in my body". cops are shit, clearly. and in general, whenever i talk to professionals about my mental health, they all assume that me being trans is the only reason why my mental health has been so bad, when in reality it doesn't really have to do with me being trans. half the time they don't even ask if there are other reasons why i've been depressed, which is dangerous because yo, you're ignoring the actual reasons why i'm not okay which is only going to make my mental health worse. gotta love doctors :-)
(long story sorry!) when i was 17 i had to stay at a psychiatric hospital for a few days and hooo boy was one of the nurses not even subtly but blatantly transphobic. granted i was placed in the girls' ward so i understood her confusion initially. by chance, though, i wasn't the only trans person in that ward, there was also a trans girl who supported me through most of this. anyway this nurse refused to use my correct name and pronouns, even though all of the other doctors and nurses were doing so, so i knew it wasn't a 'legal issue' or whatever like she claimed. one day during group a few of us got the opportunity to go up and talk about literally anything so i talked about how transphobia was affecting me. (oh and the transphobic nurse was running the group lmao.) the nurse's response: something about how she wouldn't use my name and pronouns because i was probably going to grow out of it. i was devastated for a few seconds until the trans girl i mentioned earlier spoke up and started out with "first of all, that's bullshit." anyway that didn't change anything for this nurse and she treated me horribly through my entire stay. but like? i was a kid. i was a KID. how heartless do you have to be to treat a kid like that, trans or otherwise?
I once went to see my psychiatrist who was involved in a trans-specific program but his nurse was so rude. She called me pretty and said how "beautiful" my birth name was after asking my why I changed my name. Ridiculous.
You're so amazing sharing your traumas and all. I can definitely empathize with you. I was at the emergency room and even when my documents state MALE, the stupid nurse came to me saying "You're a female so I need to be here in the room when the doctor(male) examines you. I was in so much pain that I couldn't even defend myself. I won't even go to any doctors who aren't LGBT friendly even if my life depended on it.
Wow, not only are most doctors insensitive, but also, the bathroom issue. I can totally understand now how not having inclusive bathrooms can lead to yeast infections. Thanks, I'm a cis girl and your videos are really educational. Just found your channel through Stef and I'm binge watching. Thanks for creating awareness
Thanks so much for this video. As a practicing RN I can verify that education about trans folks is non existent in nursing school. I have found myself in the position wanting to advocate for my trans patients among other health care professionals with varying degrees of success. Thanks for taking the time to explain what things I and others can do better.
My GP, is the only person I allow to see me without my binder, and I had to go in recently because of some rib pain, and the entire check up, she tried to make the entire ordeal as casual as possible literally asking how I'm doing in school mid way trying to keep my mind off what she's doing 😂 Bless my Dr, I'm lucky to have one that's so kind.
i struggle a lot because my current psychiatrist is very transphobic. she told me i "don't need all this sexuality stuff to be happy," i just need to "get an education, a job, have a family" and i'll be happy. she says she refuses to call me anything unless it's legal because she's a doctor, and it just makes it hard for me cause i can't tell her reasons why i'm upset cause she invalidates me daily (she does it also with telling me if i can't tell her about my episodes that i don't remember because of the trauma, they aren't real). the worst thing she does though is she had a mastectomy because she had cancer, and she constantly tells me i can never get any surgeries without consulting her, and if i ever think about it she tells me not to and reiterates how it pains her everyday because of her surgery. i luckily have supportive therapists and other things, but i'm trapped with her. but as i grow up and meet new doctors that ask for my pronouns and check with me, i'm glad for where i live and the resources i have. not everything is as bad as it is, there's a lot of bad, but there's luckily good out there too.
"I don't deal with that" Also comes as "There's no one that can help you", when asking for a referral. When an easy 2 second google search could tell them otherwise.
I know this is an older video, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for captioning your videos! The youtube auto ones are just not usable, and it's great to actually be able to know what people are saying without having to use all of my energy.
Recently I had to get a mammogram at a local clinic. I was feeling really uncomfortable with the whole idea of it and told them at check in that I had some issues with gender dysphoria around my chest and that I needed them to try to be sensitive to this during the exam. I thought this would mean a note would be put on the front of my chart warning everyone at the clinic to be aware of this situation; but I found that they pretty much ignored the whole thing in that when the nurse came to get me she called me "Miss," and the whole thing just felt really uncomfortable from there. The technician was fine; though she also had to deal with the fact that with my disability I can only stand for a few minutes and I could feel her getting fed up with waiting for my rest periods between pictures. I can't put my finger on how it could have been handled better; I guess not starting with a prefix like "Miss," would've been a great. Maybe just the whole ultra Fem atmosphere at the clinic was what was so uncomfortable for me as that day I felt very masculine and had dressed accordingly..Doctors aren't taught the latest about a lot of things and this is really just one in a long list. As someone who sees all sorts of Doctors all the time; I can tell you that they are woefully under informed about anything that isn't acute trauma that can be solved with a simple program of medication or treatment. Anything else is really beyond their scope unless they take it upon themselves to get educated about that topic. This is why it is so important to be an informed consumer and research your own illness and the latest treatments for it. I guess this includes non-illnesses involving gender transformation.
In order to get my prescriptions (or actually just to have a better chance at getting them) for surgeries and to "assure" the system I'm really trans I had to go to the gynecologist. For him to, you know, check if everything's alright and that my body is "biologically female". (Traumatic in itself.) It was so awkward for both of us, and then when I sat in the chair I cried and screamed because it hurt and was just plainly horrible. I was completely traumatised for the rest of the day.
This is something that makes me super anxious all the time. I've had bad enough experiences just trying to see a doctor about my mental health before I even began medically transitioning. It's a mess...
Totally agree. Thank goodness for these youtube videos because a few years ago I had a friend who was trans and I asked her these kinds of questions without knowing how hurtful they were! I feel SOOO bad now and I think youtube is wonderful because it is a way to educate each other about each other's experiences and make the world a more empathetic, understanding place.
I'm currently seeing a therapist who is not fully recognizable with the trans community, let alone with being respectful about it. She told me I need to see a doctor and everything to see if my dysphoria an me being "trans" is because of an hormonal imbalance or because of my thyroid. She doesn't believe it's real. She also doesn't use the proper pronouns I suggested or anything. And it doesn't help that I don't know if the doctors are open to trans individuals. Doesn't help that I have a transphobic family.
I've never had a bad experience with a doctor but I did have one at my old high school. I came out to my principal and she looked me dead in the eye and said "ew that's disgusting"... I transferred schools and complained to the school board. By the way chase I absolutely love your videos, you've been such a great inspiration to me so thank you very much!!!!
I'm gonna cry if I ever have to leave my really trans-friendly insurance/medical group here in the states. Been privileged and lucky to have access to it since before I started transitioning, and every doc, therapist, and specialist along the way has been fantastic and respectful. Not one has made me feel like an oddity or uncomfortable. (Much props to the gyno for pulling that off. @.@ And keeping my transition and not setting it back as a priority in treating some other problems.) Wish whatever training/innate sense these docs have had could be beamed out everywhere else.
my fav is when psychologists assume ur depressed/have anxiety cause ur trans lmao i have no problem whatsoever with my identity, i just happen to be a boy, that doesnt mean i gotta pour my story to any temporary support person while in-patient in hospital
FUCK I LOVE THAT also when they out of no where say something like "you don't have to be sad WHO cares what other people think?? who cares that ur trans?? just be urself" like wtf do u think I'm trying to do
When I told my psychiatrist that I was trans, he was like "I can see your femininity my little girl" (literally said ma petite in french) thank god i kept my cool and told him that all men have a feminine side --", and about getting asked about what's in my pants, like I'll tell you this and tell me what you think, I have that "friend" that keeps presenting me as his "TRANS friend" to everyone, and one of his friends was like, can I ask you? do you still have your "tiddies" and then asked about my v... I literally flipped off, like this is so inappropriate to ask, and my "friend" was like you're just sensitive, you get offended easily, you're the first trans person he speaks to, you should answer these questions no matter what, and that seriously got on my nerves more.. wtf is wrong with the world.. So tell me am I sensitive or IT IS inappropriate to ask? --"
+Simply Darko Mother of God, that's incredibly inappropriate, no questions. The thing that I tell people when I see them asking invasive questions to trans people is: "Is that something you normally ask strangers or people you just met? Or even your friends?" (the answer is always no) "Then why do you think it's an appropriate thing to ask someone just because they're trans?". That normally shuts them up, though I can imagine there are creeps who will keep pressing the issue :/
+Ryu DUDE what's worse than all of this, is that of course I said what you just mentioned, guess what "the friend" said? He said face it, you are not the norm to society, and you are not something they know about, you are abnormal, HE LITERALLY SAID THIS AND MORE, like OMFG it can't get more humiliating, he said if you want to make people know about "THE TRANSGENDERS" you should be more open minded and less sensitive, like dude he triggered the hell out of me that day
Ryu terrifyingly, in the lay few days, I've seen a lot of people defending the nc bathroom bill saying "I'd be completely comfortable answering those questions". Like no, you are not comfortable with that at all, you fucking liar. Also have seen "but I'm curious/how can you expect people to accept this if they don't know about it" a *lot*. Best response I've found is "plenty of people have shared their stories on the internet. If you want to learn, learn from people who have already shown they're comfortable sharing those things."
Coming from a medical perspective, I would recommend that if you are uncomfortable with sharing personal information especially if it is irrelevant to the situation for you to express your discomfort. Most caring medical professionals should understand.
Last week I went for my first appointment to do prep stuff to start T, and I had such a weird experience with a nurse. My doctor literally works with trans patients, but her nurse was so rude. She asked me my birthday for confirmation, and when I said it, she says "Wow! You're going to be an old lady! Or wait.. Old man? Is that the route you're going?" Oh my god I was mortified. It was so awkward.
I’m pre-everything but I’ve come out to my counselor and she has asked things that really could trigger dysphoria for some people, like she asked how I felt about my monthly cycle and even though I don’t get super dysphoric while talking about it I know that other people do.
I really appreciate that you spoke out about the lack of sexual education in the trans community. That's so important. Also, I have a very recent experience with a psychiatrist. I honestly thought I was going to be kicked out, shamed for who I am or at least get some ignorant comments. I braced myself for every bad thing I could imagine. None of that happened though, he took it so well and even understood all the struggles trans people have to go through. I don't live in the US so it's very hard for me to find resources in my country but I'm so lucky that my psychiatrist is knowledgeable enough and nonetheless lives in my town.
I’m a cis-male. BUT, I’ve looked up doctors for my brother before because he had a crap local doctor. To find an endocrinologist in Missouri, we had to drive him 3 1/2 hours. He now has a great endocrinologist and he’s happy BUT he has bad luck with the local doctors. To fix that, I go with him and they don’t get ignorant. I don’t tolerate people treating him nor his friends poorly.
Had a doctor get pretty rude with me back before I was even out about being trans, because he just saw a teenage girl who had stubble and wasn't meticulously shaving it away (and no, I don't know why that is yet, since that doctor decided he wanted to do more preaching about what women should be like than actually listen to and help me) Next week I'm finally FINALLY going to an actual doctor who both my therapist and my other trans friends recommend. The downside is that she's TWO AND A HALF HOURS from where I live, but I'm willing to pay a buddy to take me that far to finally get a good doctor and start taking steps towards actually getting on the right track healthwise.
Thank you so much for sharing Chase. You really make me consider things about my trans experience that I would have never thought about, and you're so well spoken.
I know this video is old, but I have to say something about this. A doctor cannot ask or probe you for information that doesn't have to do with your at the time treatment. HIPAA laws in America make it so that they can only talk to you about what is needed to treat you at that moment. So if a doctor is seeing you for your ear infection and then proceed to ask you about your bottom surgery, they are violating HIPAA and that is not ok. You need to let them know that those laws make it so that you can't ask or probe you for unnecessary information. I recommend going to clinics that are trans friendly. I personally go to Trillium in Rochester, NY. My endo has NEVER EVER asked me that question, if and when I do bring it up I am very open to him asking me questions, but I am fairly certain that I will have more questions for him if I keep him. Which, to any of you in the Rochester area, Strong is looking to create a Trans network, get involved if you'd like. Love you all.
That's not true at all nor does it violate HIPPA laws. It's common practice to get surgical history, current and past treatments, medications. It's standard to get medical history
I was seriously so scared to go and see my doctor for a referral because I'd heard bad things from other trans people about my surgery (I've been there since before deciding to medically transition). But actually when I went they were really respectful and only asked super appropriate questions - they actually mostly let me lead the conversation too just prompting me occasionally. They stayed perfectly friendly after I told them I identify as (mostly) male. Afterwards they asked if my name was changing so they could put a note on the system for the other doctors to use my new name. It's the UK though so maybe different. I've been super lucky so far.
A couple of months ago, I had been asked multiple times if I was pregnant because I was getting an xray, and I understand they needed to know, but I had already answered that question for two other people before this lady asked, to which I said "no. that would be horrible." and she decided that I was joking and laughed "with me," but it felt like she was laughing at me. I was already extremely dysphoric because I had to take my binder off, but that made it worse...
Thanks for talking about this Chase! I'm in med school, and probably because I'm in Seattle and we're pretty progressive, we do have some LGBTQ+ health electives. But the problem is electives are not required, so not everyone does get that training. It should be in the general curriculum and not just taught as an extra elective you take if you want to! But as I said, at least we have an elective, unlike some schools who have nothing. I'm hoping that doctors in the future will be more sensitive, but all these new trainings now don't really help with all the hella transphobic docs already practicing. I hope this gives some hope for the future.
I'm a genderfluid who has been binge watching your videos for about three days now. (Yes this information helps me too) And i can understand the fear because i have been raped a few times in my life time. So when i am having a "male day" i am so disgusted about my female area and the idea of a stranger giving me tests or whatever makes me so sick to my stomach i pretty much become suicidal. I have major anxiety from even a stranger touching my arm, much less looking or being down there. So I totally understand how scary it can be and because i always expect the worse i become basically frozen in fear for even the thought of getting checked. I'm getting nervous just posting this. The trauma from my past is that bad. I have two binders to help with the top on my "male days" and have been looking into a packer to help on those days as well. I have been in questioning mode about my gender for sometime now because i do get female times, but they are soo few. And when it comes to this stuff, there is no sex education just like there was none for gays or lesbians for me growing up, much less, like you said, trans education. And this is really stupid how there is just no help. :(
Let's talk about sexual help and also talk about STI's in the trans community. I feel it's needed to be talked about. Let's collaborate about the issue!
This is crazy and really sad. So many people hate going to the doctor anyway (me) but to have this level of insensitivity and ignorance heaped on top is ridiculous.
Wow, I am so glad I found your channel! I am a transwoman and in my country very few people in general respect trans* people. And there are doctors who treat trans* people inappropriate sometimes.. Thank you so much for this video! Btw, you look great! ♥
I know that this is an older video... but I just had to say that a better alternative to "I don't deal with that" could be "I'm inexperienced with these issues and out of my depth, so I'm going to refer you to someone with more expertise on the subject." They do that all the time when referring people to specialists, it's why "getting a second opinion" is so important in getting adequate healthcare at all... geez. (I want to get into the medical field, specifically a medical examiner or similar. But yeah, the field has /a lot/ of work to do in this whole ball of wax.)
On the positive side of things, I've never had an issue with my pcp, but outside of that office, I have crazy bad issues. But I will say that the patient first in my area is totally respectful and understanding. I go there for anything I can't schedule with my pcp in time for.
I got that "I don't deal with that" like FIVE times with all different doctors. Like I literally asked for help, got "I don't deal with that let me refer you to _____" and so I went to the referred doctor and 5 minutes in, "I don't deal with that" I just- wtf?
My biggest peeve at this point is how the staff refuses to call me by my preferred name (Kris), which is clearly stated at the top of my appointment form, even though I've been with the same clinic since I began transition (almost a year ago). Transgender is also clearly stated, but they insist on calling my given name (Kristina), which causes them to look for a female, when I certainly look male. When I stand up to get their attention, they give me further question whether I'm Kristina, because I look male. Everyone in the waiting area tend to pay attention to this whole thing. This is a problem even when I go in for my weekly T injection. There is only one nurse who truly gets it, and interacts with me as a guy. I am not yet able to get all my official paperwork changed, so it is extremely frustrating.
I am taking a Human Sexuality course. They give horrible info about trans* issues. They focus too much on gonads when mentioning sexuality and gender. They even mention that being intersex is an illness. Highly cisnormative and heteronormative. It is very hard for me to be in that course. Being the only transperson there is scary. Thank you for this video. Love you Chase!
so thankful so far my gp/nurse has been very good. They were totally uninformed but researched it to help. And thankful my wife is so good at speaking out
First things first, I've had no experience with medical transition. I'm only a bit older than 17, so that was not possible yet. I've had really terrible experiences. Lately a psychiatrist made comments like "why won't you get bottom surgery?" to me and talked about it at length and in details in front of my parents who hate my being trans and regularly threaten to kick me out everytime I talk about it. Now, the worst part isn't even that experience. I was hospitalized for four months in a psych ward for my bipolar disorder (the depression side of it) (I also attempted suicide but it was not the first reason why I was hospitalized). And there was this doctor there, he really hated trans people. He forbid everyone (nurses, other doctors) to call me by my current name. Now I was dysphoric as fuck so it was REALLY NOT HELPING. Some used this as an excuse to even forbid other patients to call me a "he" or by my name. Okay. He justified this by saying "well, she's unstable, you shouldn't believe anything she says, she's just looking for attention". He stopped me from leaving the hospital on some week-ends while all the other patients were allowed to leave. And at the end of my hospitalization, I broke the rules and started dating another patient. That patient raped me, and do you know what he did? He kicked me out. And once again he pretended I was "unstable" and not to be believed. I know it may not seem like it from the outside, but it was really because I was trans that he kicked me out on the first occasion he had. And he did worse than this. He told my parents not to believe anything I'd say, be it regarding the rape or regarding my being a boy. Anyway I have seen a hell lot of doctors, but only one doesn't misgender me or deadname me and that is not fucking normal. Sorry that this got long. Hope I won't get called a liar again. PS : hey I love your hair ! also you say interesting stuff. Thx for talking about trans stuff.
The past 2 years I've been thinking about being a doctor for reasons like this so there can be another doctor out there that can help everyone including those in the lgbt community
I really enjoy your videos. I have 2 people in my life that are trans and your videos have helped me shed some light on things that i have had questions about and also have helped me understand some of the things that my friends are worried about. keep making great videos to teach and educate. :)
sex ed is a vital necessity! also i just want to note since it was mentioned that if theres a video in the works about twoc, it needs to have a twoc's voice as the center of the conversation!
If I somehow contracted an STD I would most likely leave it untreated rather than go to the doctor because it would just be such a traumatic and uncomfortable experience
I'll be writing my masters thesis on young trans people and their experiences with doctors, so this is really good background. Thank you for your openness.
you're one of my favourite youtubers because you talk about stuff that matters. i feel like you're reaching out to people and you actually care? idk. many people today are pretty cold and i feel like you're melting the snow! :^0 idk it sounds weird but thanks for being you
I've only recently reached a first "trans milestone" or whatever i should call it? some toddler pointed at me and asked his mum "who's that???" and she looked at me and she was like "a boy" and i was just really happy, you know?
When I was trying to find a new doctor I was calling asking different offices if their doctors were knowledgeable on transgender health and many places were very kind and honest but then there were also a few that were either rude when telling me no or they just hung up on me. I thought it was an important question to know so I wasn't waisting time at doctors. Ps I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS CHASE!
I know this is old but maybe somewhere out there someone can answer my question. I’m going to nursing school, (I come from a family of medical professionals) my sister had her first MTF patient not long ago. She was telling me how she wanted to be respectful as possible but the the patient had to have a catheter but fought it until the doctors had to explain the need for it and how important it was. After I graduate, I plan on moving to San Francisco to be with my wife and I know that encountering trans people will happen more so than the small town I currently live in. My question is, in an instance that I treat a trans person, what would be a respectful way to address certain care without triggering dysphoria? My goal is to always ensure the safety, comfortableness, respect and health of every patient I treat and I feel that this is a subject that I could be educated on as a cis person.
Let me start by saying thank you so much for asking this question and wanting to show us respect, it's really appreciated. I'm ftm, and of course I don't speak for the entire trans community, but I can at least offer you a little advice. Chase talks a lot about the basics in this video. I can understand curiosity, it's perfectly natural to want to learn about things you no experience with. I believe Chase has a video on cis curiosity you should look into. Essentially, when you're talking with trans patients, it's best to be extra mindful of what questions you ask them and why you're asking. When asking questions about their gender or about chest area or lower area, just remember to be patient and respectful. The biggest thing to avoid triggers is to not call our parts what you'd call them on a cis person. For example, I'm a transgender man, so it would be very triggering for me if you referred to my chest as "boobs" or "breasts". I know they're the medical terms, but it's still dysphoria inducing. Try to use gender neutral terms like "chest", "parts," and so on. Of course, these preferences vary from person to person. Above all else, if/when you make a mistake, all you have to do is apologise and correct yourself. No one is perfect, and we understand that. What matters is you're trying!
I recently changed endos because my doctor's (incompetent) nurse refused to use my pronouns even though I've been on T for 5 months . My doctor would correct her and she would say things like "no, SHE needs to get her labs done" etc. The doctor also refused to up my dose and had me on .25cc. Needless to say I don't refer other trans people to that office.
Thankfully, I live in Germany and healthcare is mandatory, so every time you go to the doctors or a hospital they scan your insurance card and where I'm insured you can just change your first and last names without any "proof" that you actually legally changed your name and so whenever I'm at the doctors they can only see my proper name and not my deadname, but most insurances don't do that. And basically doctors can just deadname people and misgender them as much as they want with no consequences and we are basically at their mercy.
I've finally decided my future career, I want to be a nurse practitioner someday, but now I kinda want to specialize in trans patients. I'm not trans myself, but I am gender questioning, so who knows who I'll be in the future. But hearing these experiences from youtubers and my actual friends makes me want to be that one nurse that's accepting of it all.
I went to a heart specialist. My title and name were my preferred ones, theres no confusement. The doctor's okay until it's time to stick those things on my chest to measure my heart or wvr. The second I took my hoodie off it all changed. I wasn't wearing a binder because I knew I'd get this done and I was hunched enough to hide it in a heavier layer. She tried to lift my tshirt all the way up so I said "thats a bit unnescessary and im not comfortable with it" keep in mind my mum and two medical students are in the room. And of course she says "well why arent you wearing a bra?" "I don't wear bras, I'm a guy" (obvs het normative but this woman couldnt understand any other way) "Well you could've made arrangements to have this sorted before you came here" ?? she meant surgery. im 14. "thats not an option for me just now" "then stop whining, we're all women here." i was just fucking speachless. My mum was speachless. The med students gave me the most sorry look I've ever received. So when I left I just slammed her door and cried all the way home and I'm still not over it. I didn't go back to see if there was anything wrong but like a year later it's stopped and I'm not dead so I don't really care
I know I'm watching this a bit late, but right after I had top surgery, I had to go to urgent care for phlebitis in my arm at the I.V. site. This doctor said she could see the phlebitis and she could feel it. She then asked why I had been given an I.V so I said I had a mastectomy. She then said, "Are you bandaged? Can I see it?" I just sort of looked at her for a minute then said, "I'm wrapped up and don't even have my drains out yet, so if you don't need to see it, no you can't see it." She then went ahead and finished examining my arm and prescribed me antibiotics for the arm. One of many strange interactions with doctors. They can be ridiculous and I feel all this information you gave. As usual, Chasey Poo delivers. *Kiss Kiss*
I went to a clinic once and never went back. On the paperwork, they put biological sex and gender identity. They had a part to put my preferred pronouns. I was pumped. I put he/him. I'm like yes, they respect my transness. When I was taken back, she constantly used she/her pronouns the entire time while she had my paperwork in her face and then when I corrected her, she said well you have a vagina so you are a female. My SO got so upset. I finished up there and never went back.
So late last year, like around September we were worried I might have cancer (good news is I don't) and I had to speak with my physician. Specifically we thought I had breast cancer, so I felt it was relevant to tell her I wear a binder and that I'm transgender. This person did not know what the word transgender means. When I explained it to her, her first question was "So... do you have sex with women?" I kid you not. My doctor did not know what transgender means, and her first response was an inappropriate question with no medical relevance.
I am genderfluid so I do not consider myself as trans but I do fall under that umbrella. I am in a highschool rop health class where we study to be nurses and my teacher instucts us that bed side manners are one of the most important things to have as a nurse. I do understand the questions we have to ask but really we need to find a polite way to ask and curiosity is an impolite thing for nurses to be preoccupied with. Im planing on going into dental hygiene so I will do my best to make sure I never make someone feel invalidated.
I avoid seeing any doctor or nurse who is not my regular- but she takes sometimes over three months to see due to high demand. I recently tried to see a doctor at health concordia and had a TERRIBLE experience, again, but this time with a nurse. I hate that place. Did you know ConU health will not let you take a sti test (the one where you can swab yourself) UNLESS one of their doctors does a pelvic exam first? So insane to me that they would rather you not access sexual health services than respect your choice not to have to potentially educate, a curious doctor in such a personal way. So fed up with that place. I tried to make an appt with a known trans friendly nurse on the phone, and was scoffed at- rude!
I' know it's a cop out and it's not that I've given up on LGBTQ health awareness etc. However, the health issues in our whole community have reached crisis point. While we're getting around to changing minds it would improve the situation if every medical school had a quota for LGBTQ scholarships and a target within that quota for Trans people. Positive discrimination works in those sectors that lock out anyone without cash. If we can get more LGBTQ medical practitioners then that is not only going to benefit patients but it's going to increase tolerance in the sector.
I'm sorry about your experiences mate. Especially with the nurses. You could argue a doctors education is illness based and may need the extra sensitivity training. But health and well-being is the nurses specialty. There's little excuse to put you in that situation. Love the videos, I've been bingeing since I found them.
I understand in a different way what you mean. I am a recovering drug addiction and was on methadone and now on seboxtone ( pill form of methadone ) and when they see that on your chart they treat you differently. It's a long story to go into but it makes me frustrated. I under stand why they would proceed with caution on the medication they would give you but there is a way to go about it so you don't feel uncomfortable or ashamed...
I went to hospital bc i had popped a blood vessel in my eye and a nurse checked my file and saw that it said female and she then asked me why i was wearing boys clothes and had short hair like that has nothing to do with my eye that is bleeding
Dylan Donohue Wooooow.
Sorry, but how does that correlate...? Your doctor needs to go back to school. They aren't your therapist.
James Madison exactly :/
The appropriate meme for this would be "no correlation"
That's so shitty.
Not related to transphobic doctors, but a situation involving a transphobic parent and my eye doctor being awesome:
My mum kept referring to me as a girl, using fem pronouns, etc, and every time she did I couldn't help but just look away, feeling embarrassed and just overall super uncomfortable. When my eye doctor started talking about me he'd call me by he/him pronouns, or they/them, just avoiding the she/her ones! He totally picked up the hints because I smiled so hard when he did it. It's unfortunate that there aren't enough doctors like him, though :(
wow thats so awesome!!
What an attentive doctor! I wish more people were like him! What a good person!
Trans person: *breaks a leg*
Doctor: lol so you gotta dock?
Doctor: HUE HUE HU-
I'm ftm trans and I plan on studying to be a doctor. I hope I might be able to help with all of this in the future...
+Roiche Darragh Me too! *high five*
I'm in my second semester (it's 5-6 years in my country). I hope you get in, may the force be with us =)
+Roiche Darragh That's a really good goal to have. Good luck with everything! :)
+Roiche Darragh
Holy shit, are you me?!
***** What do you mean?
Roiche Darragh i'd full on be so pumped over going to a trans doctor yes
In my opinion we should learn about stuff related to lgbtq+ in school, like sex ed shouldn't only be targeted at cisgender hetros.
We learned about LGBTQ stuff in our middle school sex ed :") But then again our teacher was openly lesbian so it would seem weird to me if she never mentioned anything like that.
yeah, it's nice when it happens, but I think it should be incorporated into the school system so that teachers actually HAVE to talk about it. But that probably won't happen anytime soon, but I do hope it happens.
SunshineRiot young children are impressionable. your telling me to come back to reality? that's kinda funny don't you think?
+neilsberg That impressionable is no kid. It's not like your friend could come up, talk you into being trans and you're on hormones and get your * removed the next day. It is a process which takes years, doctor visits, health insurance or a lot of money, meetings with psychiatrists/psychologists, going through the name change procedure, maybe social trouble, ... and so on. No one would do that if they could be happy the way they are.
See.... It's kinda like to say 'no kid should see or meet someone in a wheelchair - maybe they think it's cool and hack their legs off'. It's just ridiculous. So yeah, come back to reality.
SunshineRiot get it? cuz your pretending to be a boy... answer me weirdo.
dude in spain its a goddamn party.
You gotta fill in some kind of 1000 questions test where they ask things like "do you hear demons" , "do you have many personalities" ,"do you like cars/whats the current best car in the market" bc if you want chest surgery you HAVE to be a 100% tipically manly trans man.
wonderful
😢
😢
wow thats horribly fucked up. They should make all cis men in spain take that same test if they want to get a prostate exam. I'll bet that law would change quickly
Here in america I had to do that just to start T because my gender therapist wanted a second opinion. (From a person who never worked with trans people.) the test used gender roles to determine ur gender and I think gender roles are a bad social construct so apparently I'm not masculine enough and that lead them to come to the conclusion ive tricked myself into thinking im trans lmfao
Do they really ask questions about cars? I've been 100% straight male my entire life, and even I don't give a rat's ass about cars.
A doctor once asked me if I wanted to be a boy because I liked girls. I was 14 and my mom was in the room too and she just blatantly asked this and I literally imploded like wtf?? I asked her why did she just assume my sexuality and she was like "well that's why you want to be a boy right??" and I wanted to yell I actually had to explain the difference between sexuality and gender to a doctor at 14 in front of my mom and btw she still didn't understand
jeleton man Ugh. I got the same thing from my Uncle when I cane out. He started talking about drag Queens and if I wanted to sleep with guys I didn't have to dress like a girl. I tried to explain there is no correlation. I am a girl and I will never have sex. Period. He was so confused and said, "Then why do you want to turn your penis into a vagina?" I said, "Because I'm a girl." He still didn't, and doesn't understand.
I expressed my discomfort with having a physical exam with a nurse at planned parenthood and she told me that "it won't be too bad." And she went through with it. I was in tears and shaking by the time the doc came in afterwards. The doc told me that the next time someone tells me I need an exam to come to her and ask her if it is really necessary. I think places like planned parenthood could benefit a lot from eduction of the trans community. That doc wasn't super educated about the trans experience but she was willing to listen. That's all we need: people willing to listen.
One of my mums friends is a social worker and every time she visit she grills me on various trans things, and will not stop when I get uncomfortable. She also once asked why I don't bind and when I said I'm saving up she told me to bind with bandages?? And don't even get me started on how many counselors have misgendered me even though I always tell them I'm a trans guy using he/him pronouns. The UK is still pretty dang awful too lmao
Bandages? Wtf does she have a brain?
ethan nerdepic God, no, are you kidding?? Egads, man, that is some cringeworthy shit. It's like she wants you to break a rib. That's fucked up my dude :/
ethan nerdepic that's so odd, I moved to the UK a few years ago with my now husband, and being small and feminine ftm guy, I've been exempted by most people I've spoken too. In my personal experience it's been really excepting. I'm really sorry you go through that. (Sorry for bad English, I'm from Japan)
I'm going to be a nurse someday and I hope that I'm able to make a difference for the trans people who will be in my care. It makes me sad and angry that there are still health care professionals in this day and age who don't know how to have a basic level of respect for their patients.
That's so awesome! Good luck :3
Update? Are you a nurse now? :))
I've known someone who got kicked out of a hospital just because they were trans, i can only imagine how horrifying that would be
Hey guys as someone who has also had as experiences I have found it easier for me to ask them a counter validation question so if they ask a question you're uncomfortable with then give it a second of the ought, ask the person if it is medically necessary. That will either stop them in their tracks or validate that they do need to know. And they will walk away thinking about what they did. If they say it's not then tell them you're uncomfortable answering unless it's required.
Phillip Suarez-Hamilton I'm sorry, but I must say, as a Hamilton fan (Broadway show in case you didn't know) I love your username.
But I agree, tell them you feel uncomfortable, and maybe even threaten to sue if they go too far.
Ľøŕď Šâťáņ Jőņëş If you think that way. As I see it, in any field of work, your personal ideals shouldn't be upfront. You should do your job.
I once went to the hospital because of tests that my endo wanted me to do. They sent me in the male section, and that was great, but they wanted me to take my clothes off in front of the other male patients (I was like 6 months on T and they knew about me being a FtM). I said no and that saved me, but afterwards they started to ask me questions about menses, always in front of these other dudes.
What a shitty day.
That sucks dude
+Richard Thunder Ugh that's really unacceptable >
Simply Darko Yeah I know. They wanted me to go back for other exams but I never showed up and I changed endo. Fortunately I wasn't ill so I didn't need to go but if I had issues I don't know what I would have done.
Sorry you had to go through that shit bro!
Why would any patient change in front of anyone, I've always had a doctor leave me alone in a room by myself. :/
Doctors only sometimes need to ask those questions and even so, ask the questions with respect and dignity! It's ridiculous that in this day and age doctors can't figure out the appropriate way to ask for sensitive information. Jeez.
+Claire Smith Doctors are qualified for IMPORTANT life saving skills, bedside manners are the absolute least important skill they can possess. Do you get it? its not a vital part of becoming a doctor, even in this day and age.
I agree it's not necessarily a vital part of becoming a doctor, but if you're going to be dealing with human beings in sensitive situations, you at the very least need good people skills. I'm a Paramedic and wouldn't dream of being so crass about someone's gender identity.
Claire Smith no, see you don't understand,, they don't need good people skills. everyone doesn't have to be sensitive like you. most the world doesn't want it that way. Doctors are smart people and see gender identity issues as exactly what they are, issues. you cant make every crazy person happy.
Wow, whatever floats your boat.
Claire Smith u get it now. good. your welcome
THE DAMN EAR INFECTION, YES!
okay so I'm pre-everything at the moment, getting T soon, but I went in for an ear infection a few months back. I had legally changed my name at this moment, and I think I was passing? but yeah, the doctor asked for what medication I was on and I listed it, including the pill. I quickly explained I was trans. She asks if I'm taking hormones, I get that she asked about it but I would have listed that with my medication of I was on it? Then goes on to ask about my fucking genitals?? "so do you have a penis?" WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT, and then it turns out that this doctor doesn't even KNOW what a trans person is! I have to explain! Then I come in a month later for a burst ovary cyst. Imagine the pain, they didn't even diagnose me, they just said it's probably this and this and pressed on my stomach. I again had to explain what trans is, while in tears and screaming in pain. I went on to tumblr to just complain about this on my personal blog and then get this, I get an anon saying "doctors are too busy doing medical stuff to care about your trans stuff!" excuse me?
'doctors are too busy doing a job they do every day to treat you with basic respect'
So, I'm not a trans person but my husband is a transguy. I went to a gyno and when she got to the questions relating to birth control I said well actually my husband is trans so it's not an issue and she proceeded to ask me some of the most inappropriate questions I've ever heard about him. SHE ACTUALLY ASKED ME IF HE HAD A SCROTUM OR NOT. Like WTF does that have to do with me or what I was there for? I can only imagine if a doctor thinks it's okay to ask these questions of the partner of a trans person (and she blatantly admitted it was because she was curious) what y'all go through.
As a medical personnel, some doctors and nurses are unprofessional and that's makes me upset. As a nurse or doctor or whatever your position is you are supposed to be nonjudgmental and just do what you can to HELP the patient. As a person who came into this career to help and do my best to better the lives of someone, it makes me so upset that someone is scared to seek help due to being judged or any other reason. I think it's a great idea to incorporate trans education within the medical field!
That's was a lot hahaha.
Captain Cynthia thanks for caring!
Captain Cynthia you shouldn't play pretend with people with mental illness
y y properly go fuck off ay mate
As a nurse (in the US, not sure how different it is in Canada), I know that the ER will take your ENTIRE medical history, even if it doesn't seem to pertain to your current medical complaint (such as an ear infection). Small things, like ear infections, can sometimes spiral into something crazy like sepsis which is life threatening. Situations like this are obviously rare, but the info helps with 1) crazy rare emergencies and 2) it covers the hospital's butt against law suits. However, doctors and nurses should be aware of how they ask these types of medical questions as to not offend people. If I personally had to ask a trans person if they had bottom surgery for whatever reason (for a procedure, test, etc), I would make sure I immediately explain why I am asking so the person doesn't think I'm just being nosey. For example, "Mam, I need to insert a catheter into your urethra in order to drain urine from your bladder because of your bladder infection. Have you had bottom surgery by chance? If you have, I would like to ask a colleague for help with this procedure who is more familiar with MTF anatomy so this can be as smooth of a process for you as possible."
My first appointment with a GP to get a referral to a gender therapist was bad, it could have been worse, but it was uncomfortable. He asked me some really weird questions when I told him I wanted a referral to that doctor. He said things well "oh do you watch sports on tv", asking if i had any favourite teams... and other stuff trying to quiz me on my masculinity. He thought I have to like certain things to be trans and it was complete bs.
Yeah he did it was dumb
SPRIES Official Me too
Bump that! I identify as male and am openly trans. I paint my nails, wear wigs, put on makeup. And watch "girly" tv shows and movies. Nothing has a gender and that Doctor should fuck themselves.
"Well that's a good reason." LOL!!
When I was 19 I was figuring out whether or not I was trans, and if I was, where would I go with that. At that point I was only "out" to one friend. I really needed to talk to a professional about this, so I went to a psychologist that I hadn't seen since I was 15-6ish. I went into his office, sat down and said "I think I may be suffering from gender dysphoria". His response was to immediately as me if I wanted to have an operation. He went on to ask what I wanted to do (If I were being honest, I would've said that I just wanted to talk out some feelings and figure some shit out). Instead, I told him that I believed that the, and excuse me for phrasing it this way, "normal course" was to get on HRT, live full time and then think about surgeries. To this he says, "Oh, yes. There are hormones you can take and they'll make you grow boobs and whatnot.".
Then he started asking what was it about girls that made me want to be one; was it the glamour of putting on make-up and getting all dolled up, or was it from an appreciation of them the way that one may appreciate greyhounds or horses, like, their aesthetic?
I was really taken back by the way he conducted himself and it took me six months to get the courage to try again to talk it over with another psychologist. >=(
It was suggested to me that I go to a certain hospital with their team of cutting-edge doctors downtown Toronto here known for their trans-acceptance. Bullshit I say, they assumed as soon as one makes it known that they are trans that their world is expected to fall apart as you are supposed? to become jobless and homeless. Well none of that happened to me and I'm still here and last year I was 5 yrs into my transition and my female parts decided to ovary-react that year to my exercising. I started having periods again after 5 yrs of being completley period free. I went for pap-tests and ultrasounds and they were all found to be "inconclusive" I waited months to be refered to their obgyn and when my appointment finally did come up, he didn't even examine me! I was told to come back after I lose some weight, but I'm bleeding like a stuck pig here. If I had a heart attack would you wait until the patient becomes a "more comfortable size" to start treatment?! Luckily a friend saw me out of all this and suggested I see his obgyn, who ends up seeing all other rejected transmen it seems, bless her heart. I was diagnosed with fibroids and endometriosis and was given pills to stop spontaneous bleeding. I was eventually scheduled for a hysterectomy in January and have been bleed-free ever since. So ya, don't accept blame for not getting proper treatment, even if you are overweight. You can't lose weight if there is something else medically wrong with you. Thanks for reading my long post but I just had to share.
This video is too real #bless. 14 y/o me, after coming out to my doctor she says: "Okay so..... I don't really know what that is. Teach me." Then half way through my explaining, "LIKE CHAZ BONO" ...yes..? And then I saw a therapist who said she was gonna misgender me for my dad's comfort and that "it's always hard to have transgendered patients". mhm okay.
"THE SURGERY" DUM-DUM DAAAAAAAA
Once have a doctor asking how my family took it...... Like wtf??????
So I actually switched doctors due to my doctor being EXTREMELY transphobic. I was around 15-16 when I started seeing her and wasnt on T yet. At that point she never used the correct pronouns or name no matter how much I corrected her and constantly asked when my mental health would be getting treated because she thought my 'mindset' was harming me. Once I started T i literally couldnt go in for anything without her blaming it on T. She wrote off a UTI, flu symptoms, bronchitis, and even hip dysplasia as things that were happening to me because I was on T, so i should stop and then she would treat 'the remaining symptoms'. Thankfully my doctor now is really great with the whole trans thing, he only asks about it in terms of making sure my heart is okay and my thyroid levels are okay (which is fine since i have auto immune diseases).
I've had some shitty experiences with medical professionals, but since i haven't started transitioning physically yet it is at least more on the misgendering side and less on the just plain wrong and awkward one (which is still bad).
The one issue I can really talk about are therapists. I swear, there was this one woman that was supposed to be helping me with trauma and with living in an abusive household, but what she decided to focus on the one time I tried to tell her how I felt about my gender identity. Some of them don't just want to invalidate you, they want to MAKE it an issue. As if me thinking that i might be trans was what caused me to feel unsafe at home. It was such a fucked up scenario.
But the biggest lesson I learned was from dealing with my next therapist. She was awesome, until I brought up me being trans. It made me realise, some of these people don't know anything about the topic. It's wrong, it's unfair, but you have to teach them stuff. You don't have to prove anything to them, but you need to be bold and tell them if something they're saying is out of line. You need to explain to them that talking about certain things is not helpful to you and it just makes you uncomfortable. You need to let them know if this is nothing new, and if you've already analysed it enough in your head. A good professional will at least understand that, and will continue to help you with your other problems without linking everything to you being transgender.
You should seek out a gender therapist. They council basic problems like your regular therapist, and they have cis patients/clients, but they specialize in trans issues, and have knowledge of trans people. Go on Psychology Today.com type in your zip code, click on "transgender issues", and viola, gender therapists. I would've never ever, ever ever, have told a basic-ass therapist about my gender dysphoria, and how I am trans, etc. They're not to be trusted, and given your told experiences they've proved me right. They're either ignorant on the subject of transgenderism, or they're willfully ignorant, biased, and bigoted. Seek out a gender therapist, because talking to someone who specializes in trans issues makes all the difference in the world. Mine was so kind, caring, understanding, and helpful, and it seems like that's what you need. Hope I helped, take care. :)
it's awesome that such services exist, but sadly i don't live in america and can't benefit from them... here in greece we barely have regular therapists lol. thank you though, I hope your comment helps someone else :)
The sex ed for transmen is a good idea. Coud be useful for some people.
And I'm trans, but I have been lucky since the beginning of my transition and did not really need to go to the doctor for non trans related stuff. The only time I had to see a doctor it was a dermatologist and he was very cool and professionnal about it. He work in a clinic close to the Notre-Dame hospital in Montreal. The only horrible doctor I met was a psychiatrist I knew before my CO. I saw for like 5 months before my CO and 3 months after my CO. She flat out refused to use the right pronouns and name. When the therapist of her team used the right pronouns she would correct them. The other patients were not allowed to use the right pronouns even if they wanted to. She works at Louis-H in Montreal and she is basically an horrible person. If you need help with your anxiety and you're trans just don't go to Louis-H.
+InMyMind If that's true that's appalling.
Lo221B imagine a psychologist thinking someone is batshit crazy like it's their job or somthing.....lmao
The clinic that I have to go to is actually a residency and this is the reason I always say yes to allowing an intern to shadow my visits. My most recent doctor is amazing, she didn't know anything about trans people when she first became a resident but she was willing to learn from me and my GT and I hope that by seeing how she interacts with me and how respectful she is about it, the interns will learn something themselves and it will be easier for everyone when she eventually leaves.
I've been told by both a nurse practitioner and a psychologist at the same facility that I needed to learn to love myself and not care what other people think when I talked about my dysphoria. A psychologist that I was sent to because she supposedly deals with lgbtqa issues, by the way.
Suggestions for ftm ppl (and mtf, to a lesser degree) who are nervous about going into the gyno and sexual health in the US, Planned Parenthood is great about gender identity. In some locations you can even get your hormones from there.
This video is actually really helpful to me. I am a pre-T and 16 and in the future I have no idea what to expect after I transition. You help me not fear the future as much. 🙂👏🏽❤️
Like. Those in the trans community have it hard enough. From housing, to the job market, and sometimes doctors and therapists do not make it any better.
I've had plenty of traumatic doctor experiences related to being trans and I've only been transitioning for about 2 years. Just thinking about what can come next is terrifying and anxiety inducing. Warning because this is probably triggering in a lot of ways, and not humorous or anything.
These are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head cause they happened recently. Also, I'll add these happened with doctors/psychiatrists that were supposedly trans-friendly. Obviously now I feel like I can't trust anyone when it comes to my health/mental health while being trans.
The time I gathered the courage to open up to my psychiatrist about my self harming behaviour and impulses, she just told me "Why don't you try masturbating instead" knowing full well I'm trans and have bad dysphoria. I calmly tried reminding her that I am beyond uncomfortable with my body and just bringing the subject up makes me feel like shit, and she was like "But have you tried it?". No sensitivity, gave no shits about my dysphoria and how just having this conversation was triggering, even when I told her I needed to change the topic of conversation because it made me feel like shit, she was like "You have to face the reality of your body. You can't feel this way towards it." no respect whatsoever.
Another time with a different psychiatrist he was asking really invasive questions about me being trans that had absolutely nothing to do with why I was in therapy, so I told him I wasn't there because I was trans and that that information was of no concern to him. He proceeded to lecture me on how he knew so much more about trans issues than I, a trans person, do, all the time saying transphobic shit like "Well, you say you're a boy but your face is feminine." Wow, thanks you absolute piece of shit, like I chose my face to begin with?? "You choose to have a feminine haircut, how can you say you identify as a boy?" (I had a mohawk at the time, so I don't know what the fuck he was on about, but either way, clothes or hair have no gender...) "You say you're trans but you dress really feminine" I was wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans, from the men's section, not to mention I was already on testosterone, but again, literally none of this should make a difference anyways because what someone wears doesn't dictate their gender, and this idiot claimed to be well-versed in trans issues.
This one's definitely the worst, major trigger warning. I needed to go to the gynaecologist (yes, this is already starting out bad) so I went to one that I was recommended (I'd never gone to one before). I got there super nervous, explained my situation, stating clearly that I'm trans and male, the doctor nodded but apparently gave no shits, proceeded to call me by my birth name and female pronouns, was super impatient when I told him I was nervous and uncomfortable with the situation, just told me to take my clothes off and lie down for an examination, so I did. I was super anxious and uncomfortable so I asked him to explain everything he'd do and be tactful about the whole situation, he told me if I wasn't going to cooperate that I should just leave. I told him I did want to cooperate but that this was a horrible situation and experience for me and that all I wanted was comprehension and for him to be sensitive about it. I don't want to get into details because it's super traumatic and would be beyond triggering for anyone reading but basically I felt violated and was crying during the examination and the doctor didn't care. After, he was super rude and unsympathetic, told me I was being uncooperative and that he couldn't help me.
It goes to show how transphobic the medical system is when I feel I can't trust psychiatrists with my mental health anymore because they either make everything about me being trans or venture into invasive and insensitive territory, or that I can't go to the doctor for an examination without feeling like I'm a burden no one wants to deal with. Sometimes it feels like it's not getting any better. I have a friend my age who is studying to be a doctor and is gay, so you'd think he'd be a little more educated, but when I came out to him as a *trans guy who likes men* he said "are you sure you're not just a lesbian?". Sometimes it feels really fucking hopeless.
+be nice on the internet I'm so sorry you've gone through those things, it makes sense that you have no trust for medical professionals :/ Part of working with people is treating them with dignity and taking care of their mental well-being, and they totally fucked up on that. Wish I could punch them in the face for treating you that way when you were vulnerable, you should have been treated better and I hope you understand that you are in no way a burden. I get that it feels impossible, but I hope that some day you find a good medical professional, that respects you for who you are. Hope things are better for you in the future friend.
Thanks so much for this, I appreciate it a lot. Hope things are good for you too.
I'm an MTF and if a doctor asked me if I "still had my penis" I would laugh hysterically!
suicide tw:
i attempted about a month ago & my mom called the police because she didn't really know what else to do, and one of the cops was ridiculously uneducated on trans stuff. i told him that my legal name was different than my preferred name (theo) and while writing his report he said, "okay so i'm just going to assume that you did this because of your gender transition." which is ridiculous because:
a) i didn't attempt because of my gender, and
b) don't fucking assume that???
and later he asked if i'm on any medication and i told him that i take testosterone and no matter how many times i tried to explain it, he could not grasp the concept of why i, a trans boy, needed to take testosterone. he kept saying that my "male puberty" would happen "naturally" and that i didn't need "even more testosterone in my body". cops are shit, clearly.
and in general, whenever i talk to professionals about my mental health, they all assume that me being trans is the only reason why my mental health has been so bad, when in reality it doesn't really have to do with me being trans. half the time they don't even ask if there are other reasons why i've been depressed, which is dangerous because yo, you're ignoring the actual reasons why i'm not okay which is only going to make my mental health worse.
gotta love doctors :-)
(long story sorry!) when i was 17 i had to stay at a psychiatric hospital for a few days and hooo boy was one of the nurses not even subtly but blatantly transphobic. granted i was placed in the girls' ward so i understood her confusion initially. by chance, though, i wasn't the only trans person in that ward, there was also a trans girl who supported me through most of this. anyway this nurse refused to use my correct name and pronouns, even though all of the other doctors and nurses were doing so, so i knew it wasn't a 'legal issue' or whatever like she claimed. one day during group a few of us got the opportunity to go up and talk about literally anything so i talked about how transphobia was affecting me. (oh and the transphobic nurse was running the group lmao.) the nurse's response: something about how she wouldn't use my name and pronouns because i was probably going to grow out of it. i was devastated for a few seconds until the trans girl i mentioned earlier spoke up and started out with "first of all, that's bullshit." anyway that didn't change anything for this nurse and she treated me horribly through my entire stay. but like? i was a kid. i was a KID. how heartless do you have to be to treat a kid like that, trans or otherwise?
I once went to see my psychiatrist who was involved in a trans-specific program but his nurse was so rude. She called me pretty and said how "beautiful" my birth name was after asking my why I changed my name. Ridiculous.
You're so amazing sharing your traumas and all. I can definitely empathize with you.
I was at the emergency room and even when my documents state MALE, the stupid nurse came to me saying "You're a female so I need to be here in the room when the doctor(male) examines you. I was in so much pain that I couldn't even defend myself. I won't even go to any doctors who aren't LGBT friendly even if my life depended on it.
Wow, not only are most doctors insensitive, but also, the bathroom issue. I can totally understand now how not having inclusive bathrooms can lead to yeast infections. Thanks, I'm a cis girl and your videos are really educational. Just found your channel through Stef and I'm binge watching. Thanks for creating awareness
Thanks so much for this video. As a practicing RN I can verify that education about trans folks is non existent in nursing school. I have found myself in the position wanting to advocate for my trans patients among other health care professionals with varying degrees of success. Thanks for taking the time to explain what things I and others can do better.
My GP, is the only person I allow to see me without my binder, and I had to go in recently because of some rib pain, and the entire check up, she tried to make the entire ordeal as casual as possible literally asking how I'm doing in school mid way trying to keep my mind off what she's doing 😂 Bless my Dr, I'm lucky to have one that's so kind.
i struggle a lot because my current psychiatrist is very transphobic. she told me i "don't need all this sexuality stuff to be happy," i just need to "get an education, a job, have a family" and i'll be happy. she says she refuses to call me anything unless it's legal because she's a doctor, and it just makes it hard for me cause i can't tell her reasons why i'm upset cause she invalidates me daily (she does it also with telling me if i can't tell her about my episodes that i don't remember because of the trauma, they aren't real). the worst thing she does though is she had a mastectomy because she had cancer, and she constantly tells me i can never get any surgeries without consulting her, and if i ever think about it she tells me not to and reiterates how it pains her everyday because of her surgery. i luckily have supportive therapists and other things, but i'm trapped with her. but as i grow up and meet new doctors that ask for my pronouns and check with me, i'm glad for where i live and the resources i have. not everything is as bad as it is, there's a lot of bad, but there's luckily good out there too.
that is horrible. i hope one day you can get a new psychiatrist.
"I don't deal with that"
Also comes as "There's no one that can help you", when asking for a referral. When an easy 2 second google search could tell them otherwise.
I know this is an older video, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for captioning your videos! The youtube auto ones are just not usable, and it's great to actually be able to know what people are saying without having to use all of my energy.
Recently I had to get a mammogram at a local clinic. I was feeling really uncomfortable with the whole idea of it and told them at check in that I had some issues with gender dysphoria around my chest and that I needed them to try to be sensitive to this during the exam. I thought this would mean a note would be put on the front of my chart warning everyone at the clinic to be aware of this situation; but I found that they pretty much ignored the whole thing in that when the nurse came to get me she called me "Miss," and the whole thing just felt really uncomfortable from there. The technician was fine; though she also had to deal with the fact that with my disability I can only stand for a few minutes and I could feel her getting fed up with waiting for my rest periods between pictures. I can't put my finger on how it could have been handled better; I guess not starting with a prefix like "Miss," would've been a great. Maybe just the whole ultra Fem atmosphere at the clinic was what was so uncomfortable for me as that day I felt very masculine and had dressed accordingly..Doctors aren't taught the latest about a lot of things and this is really just one in a long list. As someone who sees all sorts of Doctors all the time; I can tell you that they are woefully under informed about anything that isn't acute trauma that can be solved with a simple program of medication or treatment. Anything else is really beyond their scope unless they take it upon themselves to get educated about that topic. This is why it is so important to be an informed consumer and research your own illness and the latest treatments for it. I guess this includes non-illnesses involving gender transformation.
In order to get my prescriptions (or actually just to have a better chance at getting them) for surgeries and to "assure" the system I'm really trans I had to go to the gynecologist. For him to, you know, check if everything's alright and that my body is "biologically female". (Traumatic in itself.) It was so awkward for both of us, and then when I sat in the chair I cried and screamed because it hurt and was just plainly horrible. I was completely traumatised for the rest of the day.
This is something that makes me super anxious all the time. I've had bad enough experiences just trying to see a doctor about my mental health before I even began medically transitioning. It's a mess...
Totally agree. Thank goodness for these youtube videos because a few years ago I had a friend who was trans and I asked her these kinds of questions without knowing how hurtful they were! I feel SOOO bad now and I think youtube is wonderful because it is a way to educate each other about each other's experiences and make the world a more empathetic, understanding place.
+Elphaba Crux Of course I didn't ask in a mean way or anything but some things are just not appropriate to ask.
I'm currently seeing a therapist who is not fully recognizable with the trans community, let alone with being respectful about it. She told me I need to see a doctor and everything to see if my dysphoria an me being "trans" is because of an hormonal imbalance or because of my thyroid. She doesn't believe it's real. She also doesn't use the proper pronouns I suggested or anything. And it doesn't help that I don't know if the doctors are open to trans individuals. Doesn't help that I have a transphobic family.
I've never had a bad experience with a doctor but I did have one at my old high school. I came out to my principal and she looked me dead in the eye and said "ew that's disgusting"... I transferred schools and complained to the school board. By the way chase I absolutely love your videos, you've been such a great inspiration to me so thank you very much!!!!
I'm gonna cry if I ever have to leave my really trans-friendly insurance/medical group here in the states. Been privileged and lucky to have access to it since before I started transitioning, and every doc, therapist, and specialist along the way has been fantastic and respectful. Not one has made me feel like an oddity or uncomfortable. (Much props to the gyno for pulling that off. @.@ And keeping my transition and not setting it back as a priority in treating some other problems.) Wish whatever training/innate sense these docs have had could be beamed out everywhere else.
my fav is when psychologists assume ur depressed/have anxiety cause ur trans lmao i have no problem whatsoever with my identity, i just happen to be a boy, that doesnt mean i gotta pour my story to any temporary support person while in-patient in hospital
FUCK I LOVE THAT also when they out of no where say something like "you don't have to be sad WHO cares what other people think?? who cares that ur trans?? just be urself" like wtf do u think I'm trying to do
+Mon Pon I have no problem at all whatsoever being myself like??? That's not??? Why I'm sad???
When I told my psychiatrist that I was trans, he was like "I can see your femininity my little girl" (literally said ma petite in french) thank god i kept my cool and told him that all men have a feminine side --", and about getting asked about what's in my pants, like I'll tell you this and tell me what you think, I have that "friend" that keeps presenting me as his "TRANS friend" to everyone, and one of his friends was like, can I ask you? do you still have your "tiddies" and then asked about my v... I literally flipped off, like this is so inappropriate to ask, and my "friend" was like you're just sensitive, you get offended easily, you're the first trans person he speaks to, you should answer these questions no matter what, and that seriously got on my nerves more.. wtf is wrong with the world..
So tell me am I sensitive or IT IS inappropriate to ask? --"
super inappropriate
+Simply Darko jeesussss
+Simply Darko Mother of God, that's incredibly inappropriate, no questions.
The thing that I tell people when I see them asking invasive questions to trans people is: "Is that something you normally ask strangers or people you just met? Or even your friends?" (the answer is always no) "Then why do you think it's an appropriate thing to ask someone just because they're trans?". That normally shuts them up, though I can imagine there are creeps who will keep pressing the issue :/
+Ryu DUDE what's worse than all of this, is that of course I said what you just mentioned, guess what "the friend" said? He said face it, you are not the norm to society, and you are not something they know about, you are abnormal, HE LITERALLY SAID THIS AND MORE, like OMFG it can't get more humiliating, he said if you want to make people know about "THE TRANSGENDERS" you should be more open minded and less sensitive, like dude he triggered the hell out of me that day
Ryu terrifyingly, in the lay few days, I've seen a lot of people defending the nc bathroom bill saying "I'd be completely comfortable answering those questions". Like no, you are not comfortable with that at all, you fucking liar.
Also have seen "but I'm curious/how can you expect people to accept this if they don't know about it" a *lot*. Best response I've found is "plenty of people have shared their stories on the internet. If you want to learn, learn from people who have already shown they're comfortable sharing those things."
Coming from a medical perspective, I would recommend that if you are uncomfortable with sharing personal information especially if it is irrelevant to the situation for you to express your discomfort. Most caring medical professionals should understand.
Last week I went for my first appointment to do prep stuff to start T, and I had such a weird experience with a nurse. My doctor literally works with trans patients, but her nurse was so rude. She asked me my birthday for confirmation, and when I said it, she says "Wow! You're going to be an old lady! Or wait.. Old man? Is that the route you're going?" Oh my god I was mortified. It was so awkward.
+youngblossom Omg I go through that on a daily basis, ugh, i mostly just stay quiet and trying to hide my discomfort ~.~
I'm cis and in med school and I can confirm there's no need to ask those questions. I promise I'll call people out if I ever witness this!
I’m pre-everything but I’ve come out to my counselor and she has asked things that really could trigger dysphoria for some people, like she asked how I felt about my monthly cycle and even though I don’t get super dysphoric while talking about it I know that other people do.
I really appreciate that you spoke out about the lack of sexual education in the trans community. That's so important. Also, I have a very recent experience with a psychiatrist. I honestly thought I was going to be kicked out, shamed for who I am or at least get some ignorant comments. I braced myself for every bad thing I could imagine. None of that happened though, he took it so well and even understood all the struggles trans people have to go through. I don't live in the US so it's very hard for me to find resources in my country but I'm so lucky that my psychiatrist is knowledgeable enough and nonetheless lives in my town.
I’m a cis-male. BUT, I’ve looked up doctors for my brother before because he had a crap local doctor. To find an endocrinologist in Missouri, we had to drive him 3 1/2 hours. He now has a great endocrinologist and he’s happy BUT he has bad luck with the local doctors. To fix that, I go with him and they don’t get ignorant. I don’t tolerate people treating him nor his friends poorly.
Had a doctor get pretty rude with me back before I was even out about being trans, because he just saw a teenage girl who had stubble and wasn't meticulously shaving it away (and no, I don't know why that is yet, since that doctor decided he wanted to do more preaching about what women should be like than actually listen to and help me)
Next week I'm finally FINALLY going to an actual doctor who both my therapist and my other trans friends recommend. The downside is that she's TWO AND A HALF HOURS from where I live, but I'm willing to pay a buddy to take me that far to finally get a good doctor and start taking steps towards actually getting on the right track healthwise.
Thank you so much for sharing Chase. You really make me consider things about my trans experience that I would have never thought about, and you're so well spoken.
I know this video is old, but I have to say something about this. A doctor cannot ask or probe you for information that doesn't have to do with your at the time treatment. HIPAA laws in America make it so that they can only talk to you about what is needed to treat you at that moment. So if a doctor is seeing you for your ear infection and then proceed to ask you about your bottom surgery, they are violating HIPAA and that is not ok. You need to let them know that those laws make it so that you can't ask or probe you for unnecessary information.
I recommend going to clinics that are trans friendly. I personally go to Trillium in Rochester, NY. My endo has NEVER EVER asked me that question, if and when I do bring it up I am very open to him asking me questions, but I am fairly certain that I will have more questions for him if I keep him.
Which, to any of you in the Rochester area, Strong is looking to create a Trans network, get involved if you'd like.
Love you all.
That's not true at all nor does it violate HIPPA laws. It's common practice to get surgical history, current and past treatments, medications. It's standard to get medical history
I was seriously so scared to go and see my doctor for a referral because I'd heard bad things from other trans people about my surgery (I've been there since before deciding to medically transition). But actually when I went they were really respectful and only asked super appropriate questions - they actually mostly let me lead the conversation too just prompting me occasionally. They stayed perfectly friendly after I told them I identify as (mostly) male. Afterwards they asked if my name was changing so they could put a note on the system for the other doctors to use my new name. It's the UK though so maybe different. I've been super lucky so far.
A couple of months ago, I had been asked multiple times if I was pregnant because I was getting an xray, and I understand they needed to know, but I had already answered that question for two other people before this lady asked, to which I said "no. that would be horrible." and she decided that I was joking and laughed "with me," but it felt like she was laughing at me. I was already extremely dysphoric because I had to take my binder off, but that made it worse...
Thanks for talking about this Chase! I'm in med school, and probably because I'm in Seattle and we're pretty progressive, we do have some LGBTQ+ health electives. But the problem is electives are not required, so not everyone does get that training. It should be in the general curriculum and not just taught as an extra elective you take if you want to! But as I said, at least we have an elective, unlike some schools who have nothing. I'm hoping that doctors in the future will be more sensitive, but all these new trainings now don't really help with all the hella transphobic docs already practicing. I hope this gives some hope for the future.
I'm a genderfluid who has been binge watching your videos for about three days now. (Yes this information helps me too) And i can understand the fear because i have been raped a few times in my life time. So when i am having a "male day" i am so disgusted about my female area and the idea of a stranger giving me tests or whatever makes me so sick to my stomach i pretty much become suicidal. I have major anxiety from even a stranger touching my arm, much less looking or being down there. So I totally understand how scary it can be and because i always expect the worse i become basically frozen in fear for even the thought of getting checked. I'm getting nervous just posting this. The trauma from my past is that bad. I have two binders to help with the top on my "male days" and have been looking into a packer to help on those days as well. I have been in questioning mode about my gender for sometime now because i do get female times, but they are soo few. And when it comes to this stuff, there is no sex education just like there was none for gays or lesbians for me growing up, much less, like you said, trans education. And this is really stupid how there is just no help. :(
Let's talk about sexual help and also talk about STI's in the trans community. I feel it's needed to be talked about. Let's collaborate about the issue!
I think Alex Bertie talked about STD's a little while ago and being tested as a trans person
I feel it's needed to be more discussed. Not many talk about it.
+Kayla Griffin yeah of course. I know what you mean, I was just saying that there was a video that talked about it a bit
I'll do some research on it, and post one on my channel. Like an cover-all type of video.
This is crazy and really sad. So many people hate going to the doctor anyway (me) but to have this level of insensitivity and ignorance heaped on top is ridiculous.
Wow, I am so glad I found your channel! I am a transwoman and in my country very few people in general respect trans* people. And there are doctors who treat trans* people inappropriate sometimes.. Thank you so much for this video! Btw, you look great! ♥
I know that this is an older video... but I just had to say that a better alternative to "I don't deal with that" could be "I'm inexperienced with these issues and out of my depth, so I'm going to refer you to someone with more expertise on the subject."
They do that all the time when referring people to specialists, it's why "getting a second opinion" is so important in getting adequate healthcare at all... geez. (I want to get into the medical field, specifically a medical examiner or similar. But yeah, the field has /a lot/ of work to do in this whole ball of wax.)
On the positive side of things, I've never had an issue with my pcp, but outside of that office, I have crazy bad issues. But I will say that the patient first in my area is totally respectful and understanding. I go there for anything I can't schedule with my pcp in time for.
I got that "I don't deal with that" like FIVE times with all different doctors. Like I literally asked for help, got "I don't deal with that let me refer you to _____" and so I went to the referred doctor and 5 minutes in, "I don't deal with that" I just- wtf?
I was told I was selfish for having top
Surgery from a social worker .
omg -_- that's so ridiculous. You are not selfish, you poor thing.
My biggest peeve at this point is how the staff refuses to call me by my preferred name (Kris), which is clearly stated at the top of my appointment form, even though I've been with the same clinic since I began transition (almost a year ago). Transgender is also clearly stated, but they insist on calling my given name (Kristina), which causes them to look for a female, when I certainly look male. When I stand up to get their attention, they give me further question whether I'm Kristina, because I look male. Everyone in the waiting area tend to pay attention to this whole thing. This is a problem even when I go in for my weekly T injection. There is only one nurse who truly gets it, and interacts with me as a guy. I am not yet able to get all my official paperwork changed, so it is extremely frustrating.
I am taking a Human Sexuality course. They give horrible info about trans* issues. They focus too much on gonads when mentioning sexuality and gender. They even mention that being intersex is an illness. Highly cisnormative and heteronormative. It is very hard for me to be in that course. Being the only transperson there is scary. Thank you for this video. Love you Chase!
so thankful so far my gp/nurse has been very good. They were totally uninformed but researched it to help.
And thankful my wife is so good at speaking out
First things first, I've had no experience with medical transition. I'm only a bit older than 17, so that was not possible yet.
I've had really terrible experiences. Lately a psychiatrist made comments like "why won't you get bottom surgery?" to me and talked about it at length and in details in front of my parents who hate my being trans and regularly threaten to kick me out everytime I talk about it.
Now, the worst part isn't even that experience.
I was hospitalized for four months in a psych ward for my bipolar disorder (the depression side of it) (I also attempted suicide but it was not the first reason why I was hospitalized). And there was this doctor there, he really hated trans people.
He forbid everyone (nurses, other doctors) to call me by my current name. Now I was dysphoric as fuck so it was REALLY NOT HELPING. Some used this as an excuse to even forbid other patients to call me a "he" or by my name. Okay. He justified this by saying "well, she's unstable, you shouldn't believe anything she says, she's just looking for attention".
He stopped me from leaving the hospital on some week-ends while all the other patients were allowed to leave.
And at the end of my hospitalization, I broke the rules and started dating another patient. That patient raped me, and do you know what he did? He kicked me out. And once again he pretended I was "unstable" and not to be believed. I know it may not seem like it from the outside, but it was really because I was trans that he kicked me out on the first occasion he had. And he did worse than this. He told my parents not to believe anything I'd say, be it regarding the rape or regarding my being a boy.
Anyway I have seen a hell lot of doctors, but only one doesn't misgender me or deadname me and that is not fucking normal.
Sorry that this got long. Hope I won't get called a liar again.
PS : hey I love your hair ! also you say interesting stuff. Thx for talking about trans stuff.
The past 2 years I've been thinking about being a doctor for reasons like this so there can be another doctor out there that can help everyone including those in the lgbt community
That's a very good goal to have-- both becoming a doctor and wanting to help out people in the LGBT community :) Good luck if you go through with it!
That would be awesome, good luck!
I really enjoy your videos. I have 2 people in my life that are trans and your videos have helped me shed some light on things that i have had questions about and also have helped me understand some of the things that my friends are worried about. keep making great videos to teach and educate. :)
sex ed is a vital necessity! also i just want to note since it was mentioned that if theres a video in the works about twoc, it needs to have a twoc's voice as the center of the conversation!
If I somehow contracted an STD I would most likely leave it untreated rather than go to the doctor because it would just be such a traumatic and uncomfortable experience
I'll be writing my masters thesis on young trans people and their experiences with doctors, so this is really good background. Thank you for your openness.
you're one of my favourite youtubers because you talk about stuff that matters. i feel like you're reaching out to people and you actually care? idk. many people today are pretty cold and i feel like you're melting the snow! :^0 idk it sounds weird but thanks for being you
I've only recently reached a first "trans milestone" or whatever i should call it? some toddler pointed at me and asked his mum "who's that???" and she looked at me and she was like "a boy" and i was just really happy, you know?
My goal in life as a trans RN is to educate people on the subject....the ignorance is wild.
When I was trying to find a new doctor I was calling asking different offices if their doctors were knowledgeable on transgender health and many places were very kind and honest but then there were also a few that were either rude when telling me no or they just hung up on me. I thought it was an important question to know so I wasn't waisting time at doctors. Ps I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS CHASE!
I know this is old but maybe somewhere out there someone can answer my question.
I’m going to nursing school, (I come from a family of medical professionals) my sister had her first MTF patient not long ago. She was telling me how she wanted to be respectful as possible but the the patient had to have a catheter but fought it until the doctors had to explain the need for it and how important it was.
After I graduate, I plan on moving to San Francisco to be with my wife and I know that encountering trans people will happen more so than the small town I currently live in.
My question is, in an instance that I treat a trans person, what would be a respectful way to address certain care without triggering dysphoria? My goal is to always ensure the safety, comfortableness, respect and health of every patient I treat and I feel that this is a subject that I could be educated on as a cis person.
Let me start by saying thank you so much for asking this question and wanting to show us respect, it's really appreciated. I'm ftm, and of course I don't speak for the entire trans community, but I can at least offer you a little advice.
Chase talks a lot about the basics in this video. I can understand curiosity, it's perfectly natural to want to learn about things you no experience with. I believe Chase has a video on cis curiosity you should look into. Essentially, when you're talking with trans patients, it's best to be extra mindful of what questions you ask them and why you're asking. When asking questions about their gender or about chest area or lower area, just remember to be patient and respectful. The biggest thing to avoid triggers is to not call our parts what you'd call them on a cis person. For example, I'm a transgender man, so it would be very triggering for me if you referred to my chest as "boobs" or "breasts". I know they're the medical terms, but it's still dysphoria inducing. Try to use gender neutral terms like "chest", "parts," and so on. Of course, these preferences vary from person to person.
Above all else, if/when you make a mistake, all you have to do is apologise and correct yourself. No one is perfect, and we understand that. What matters is you're trying!
I recently changed endos because my doctor's (incompetent) nurse refused to use my pronouns even though I've been on T for 5 months . My doctor would correct her and she would say things like "no, SHE needs to get her labs done" etc. The doctor also refused to up my dose and had me on .25cc. Needless to say I don't refer other trans people to that office.
Thankfully, I live in Germany and healthcare is mandatory, so every time you go to the doctors or a hospital they scan your insurance card and where I'm insured you can just change your first and last names without any "proof" that you actually legally changed your name and so whenever I'm at the doctors they can only see my proper name and not my deadname, but most insurances don't do that.
And basically doctors can just deadname people and misgender them as much as they want with no consequences and we are basically at their mercy.
"Oh, well that's a good reason!!" Best reaction ever
I've finally decided my future career, I want to be a nurse practitioner someday, but now I kinda want to specialize in trans patients. I'm not trans myself, but I am gender questioning, so who knows who I'll be in the future. But hearing these experiences from youtubers and my actual friends makes me want to be that one nurse that's accepting of it all.
I went to a heart specialist. My title and name were my preferred ones, theres no confusement. The doctor's okay until it's time to stick those things on my chest to measure my heart or wvr. The second I took my hoodie off it all changed. I wasn't wearing a binder because I knew I'd get this done and I was hunched enough to hide it in a heavier layer. She tried to lift my tshirt all the way up so I said "thats a bit unnescessary and im not comfortable with it" keep in mind my mum and two medical students are in the room. And of course she says "well why arent you wearing a bra?" "I don't wear bras, I'm a guy" (obvs het normative but this woman couldnt understand any other way) "Well you could've made arrangements to have this sorted before you came here" ?? she meant surgery. im 14. "thats not an option for me just now" "then stop whining, we're all women here." i was just fucking speachless. My mum was speachless. The med students gave me the most sorry look I've ever received. So when I left I just slammed her door and cried all the way home and I'm still not over it. I didn't go back to see if there was anything wrong but like a year later it's stopped and I'm not dead so I don't really care
I know I'm watching this a bit late, but right after I had top surgery, I had to go to urgent care for phlebitis in my arm at the I.V. site. This doctor said she could see the phlebitis and she could feel it. She then asked why I had been given an I.V so I said I had a mastectomy. She then said, "Are you bandaged? Can I see it?" I just sort of looked at her for a minute then said, "I'm wrapped up and don't even have my drains out yet, so if you don't need to see it, no you can't see it." She then went ahead and finished examining my arm and prescribed me antibiotics for the arm. One of many strange interactions with doctors. They can be ridiculous and I feel all this information you gave. As usual, Chasey Poo delivers. *Kiss Kiss*
I had a friend who was told by a doctor that she couldn't be trans because she was attracted to women, which is a whole other level of "yikes"
I went to a clinic once and never went back. On the paperwork, they put biological sex and gender identity. They had a part to put my preferred pronouns. I was pumped. I put he/him. I'm like yes, they respect my transness. When I was taken back, she constantly used she/her pronouns the entire time while she had my paperwork in her face and then when I corrected her, she said well you have a vagina so you are a female. My SO got so upset. I finished up there and never went back.
So late last year, like around September we were worried I might have cancer (good news is I don't) and I had to speak with my physician. Specifically we thought I had breast cancer, so I felt it was relevant to tell her I wear a binder and that I'm transgender. This person did not know what the word transgender means. When I explained it to her, her first question was "So... do you have sex with women?"
I kid you not. My doctor did not know what transgender means, and her first response was an inappropriate question with no medical relevance.
I am genderfluid so I do not consider myself as trans but I do fall under that umbrella. I am in a highschool rop health class where we study to be nurses and my teacher instucts us that bed side manners are one of the most important things to have as a nurse. I do understand the questions we have to ask but really we need to find a polite way to ask and curiosity is an impolite thing for nurses to be preoccupied with. Im planing on going into dental hygiene so I will do my best to make sure I never make someone feel invalidated.
I avoid seeing any doctor or nurse who is not my regular- but she takes sometimes over three months to see due to high demand. I recently tried to see a doctor at health concordia and had a TERRIBLE experience, again, but this time with a nurse. I hate that place. Did you know ConU health will not let you take a sti test (the one where you can swab yourself) UNLESS one of their doctors does a pelvic exam first? So insane to me that they would rather you not access sexual health services than respect your choice not to have to potentially educate, a curious doctor in such a personal way. So fed up with that place. I tried to make an appt with a known trans friendly nurse on the phone, and was scoffed at- rude!
I' know it's a cop out and it's not that I've given up on LGBTQ health awareness etc. However, the health issues in our whole community have reached crisis point. While we're getting around to changing minds it would improve the situation if every medical school had a quota for LGBTQ scholarships and a target within that quota for Trans people. Positive discrimination works in those sectors that lock out anyone without cash. If we can get more LGBTQ medical practitioners then that is not only going to benefit patients but it's going to increase tolerance in the sector.
I'm sorry about your experiences mate. Especially with the nurses. You could argue a doctors education is illness based and may need the extra sensitivity training. But health and well-being is the nurses specialty. There's little excuse to put you in that situation.
Love the videos, I've been bingeing since I found them.
I understand in a different way what you mean. I am a recovering drug addiction and was on methadone and now on seboxtone ( pill form of methadone ) and when they see that on your chart they treat you differently. It's a long story to go into but it makes me frustrated. I under stand why they would proceed with caution on the medication they would give you but there is a way to go about it so you don't feel uncomfortable or ashamed...