0:48 Stage 1: WTF 1:15 Stage 2: Denial 1:40 Stage 3: Wait a second 1:58 Stage 4: Research 2:07 Stage 5: OMG that's me 2:31 Stage 6: Alright. I'm autistic 3:11 Stage 7: Imposter Syndrome 3:36 Stage 8: 2nd Research 4:00 Stage 9: Feeling the worst 4:41 Stage 10: prev. + Identity Crisis 5:15 Stage 11: Ah. Brain too much 6:01 Stage 12: Self Discovery 7:49 Stage 13: This is OK and right (I couldn't keep track of the steps so I wrote them down for all of us)
I absolutely went through these stages when I self diagnosed myself with autism. I’m officially diagnosed now, but I kinda worked through all the phases before it was official lol
@@jvb2279 Me too! I self diagnosed myself with adhd and I went trough every single one of these stages before my official diagnosis. And now, almost a year after that, I realize I'm going trhough these stages again with autism. I strongly believe I am autistic and I plan on bringing up the subject with my therapist next week, I hope it goes well
yeah i started the 'wtf' stage when my mom first mentioned that she thinks i have autism. still haven't been professionally diagnosed, but i'm doing lots of research on asd and adhd and i hope to get a diagnosis within the next year or two :D
I was diagnosed a couple weeks ago! But I've known that I'm autistic for almost a year, so it wasn't too overwhelming. I'm really happy to finally be diagnosed. I also have a couple friends who are autistic too which is really cool
I'm part of the Burning Man community, and there are TONS of autistics. Being surrounded by other autistics is hugely fantastic. It makes life way easier.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago as well! My group of friends all took a few of the screening questionnaires for ASD (RAADS-R, AQ), and 75% scored above the cutoff ranges on both! 😸 The friends that didn’t score high already were diagnosed with other things like ADHD, dyslexia. It’s so interesting how we’ve found each other!
Me too it is more like interesting, it doesn't matter who you are, what you are born with, don't let anyone judge you about your age, your responsibility, your weight, height, your fit, and other stuff be yourself by letting your experience be posititve.😎
*I HAVE HAD MORE HELP* from you and your fellow Gen Z AutisTic Tok's in 4 days than I have from anything in the last 52 years - THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART...!!!
When a doctor first flagged to me that I might be autistic (I was 22) I felt like hyperconscious of my mannerisms: like I was an imposter of a human trying to keep up a facade. Three years later and I'm still making discoveries about myself and working on unmasking, but I'm excited to figure out who I am without the mask!
I was diagnosed in my 40s. That was a lot of life to look back on and reframe. I didn't resist or doubt the diagnosis at all, I welcomed it, wanted it and was so validated by it. It was just a wave of relief, then yes grieving and anger and regret, and a whirlwind of thought and learning... but then calm, acceptance and a cosy, safe, hopeful feeling and a lot of joy. It's been one of the best things in my life.
Thanks for sharing! I was around 45. Accepted it right away, but i wasn't prepared for the feelings following a monumental identity crisis. Still struggling but deep down I've never doubted it will be totally worth it.
Thank you both for sharing your experience, in my 50s and just discovered I fit the criteria and suprised suddenly can relate to so many warm, understanding, wonderful people.
I'm self-diagnosed with formal assessment coming up later this year and I'm already going through these stages. I know I'm autistic. At this point, if my assessment comes out saying I'm not, I'm getting a second opinion. I'm told this is sometimes part of the process of getting diagnosed, especially for older females (I'm in my 40's). Anyway. I am already mourning the loss of the life I could have had if I'd known sooner. It's been REALLY hard.
I'm one of those lucky people who never had to go through one of those existential crisis, because my mom knew from my birth, and then I had a formal diagnosis through my school in 4th grade. I never really had a what is wrong with me stage, just a denial about autism being real stage since obviously it's an excuse for bad behavior like all the people my parents age and up told me to my face.... It probably wasn't until a couple years ago when I decided, fuck that, I'll do my on research thank you. Turns out that all my struggles are largely due to that. I go non verbal and get really angry when I'm overwhelmed or overstimulated, all those people I thought were flying off the handle out of nowhere apparently had a lot of cues that they were upset that I completely missed, or I misread they were mad and made them that way, and my mom wasn't about to cry, she just had a mild sunburn.... And I can't identify my own emotions beyond anger and sadness, and I'm a clumsy asshole..... Basically what I'm saying is I'm glad I was given the opportunity to research my diagnosis and was essentially given all the answers, and the tools needed to get diagnosed with ocd anxiety depression and potentially ADHD. It's made my life a lot easier than it could've been. I'm excited for you to get your diagnosis, because even if you think you're super at peace and have all the answers already, it's probably just as surprising a weight to have off your shoulders to get a diagnosis as it was for me to research mine when I finally got out of my head about it
I am going through a little identity crisis right now i really need to stop stressing over it but i cant stop stressing over it even though i know that thinking about this is literally just stressing me out and either way i am still who i am nothing changes that… BUT….
I had basically 3 stages: 1. When my psychiatrist got the diagnosis from an old psychiatrist of mine who didn't inform me, and told me, I was like: Hm, interesting. 2. I looked up Asperger-Syndrom on Wikipedia (and I will not continue to call it that, just that was what I got told about and looked up) and thought: This makes so much sense and everything that happened until this point finally makes sense. 3. Regret that I did not know/got the diagnosis earlier
I was young when I was diagnosed, so there was no mourning of an “old self” in particular. However that wtf stage is true. Many a guys feel like they’re an alien that isn’t accepted. I felt and still feel like that, especially after my last break up where I felt like an utter narcissistic crap bag. After watching some of these videos I realized that the self importance side of my diagnosis wasn’t checked and many other things were not trained into me much at a young age (mainly autism and dating). Watching these vids have given me a better understanding of myself and it feels good not to be the only person who “doesn’t look autistic” 🤙🙏
I notice being more accepting of it is a huge relief around people and groups - ironically comes across more open in groups too. "You're different!" - "Ah yes I am, I have Asperger's like Elon Musk" - "Why so quiet?" - "Thanks for asking, I just got here actually and was looking to meet some people - how's this going so far?"
I recently realized that I am autistic, over the years I have wondered why I felt "different" and now coming to terms with my autism has been helpful but hard. Thank you for sharing your experience because it helps me better understand mine ❤️
I sought out my diagnosis and was diagnosed last year at the age of 48. This video is so relatable, working it out and having it validated reframed a lot of my life and I have to remind myself that people didn't know back then. Still get happy/excited when I see something that is an autism trait and I can go wow me too, so that is why I do that.
How did you seek out your diagnosis? I am about your age and I don't how to go about this at all. I went to a website trying to find help and all I got was someone trying to get me to fill out forms to get medical help from the government which I didn't do.
@@alexanderlapp5048 I'm in Australia so I looked up where there are clinical psychologists near me in a psychological association website that say that they specialise in diagnosing adults with autism. From there the process is going to my GP to get a referral so that I can get subsidised appointments from the government (the referral is for a specific person/practice so a good idea to find out if they have capacity first). Once I got the appointment I met with him a couple of times and filled in lots of testing, the practice that I went to also got me to fill in a big questionnaire as pre paperwork so that he had basic information to go on before speaking to me. I also had already looked into it and had a list of traits that applied to me so that I could give more information in a more condensed time. I have heard from others that it is often for them to ask to speak to a parent or someone who knows you well so that they can answer questions about different things you say/do as you might not realise because it is your normal.
Same i was diagnosed with adhd when i was 4-6 and they put me on meds which made me even more bounce off the walls, ive been thinking that they may have had just thought adhd because back when i was a child, autism wasnt where it is today with knowing more about it, i truly believe i am more on the spectrum then what adhd would put me, and since doing so much research on autism i can say that i am pretty sure i went misdiagnosed my whole 23 years of my life. But now as a person who "self diagnosed" my next steps are looking to where to go to get the actual diagnosis so i can actually feel better, and get the help i do need.
@@Bvbfangurl4life roughly the same for me but I'm pretty sure they were right about my ADHD and wrong about my only having OCD on top of it. Not being able to communicate my feelings at the time and the "reasons" behind said compulsions I realized my OCD diagnosis doesn't fit as well as ASD. I have had a few people in my life that were close friends on the spectrum that said I most likely have ASD. During the time I got my OCD and ADHD diagnosis it wasn't believed ASD could co-exist with ADHD / OCD and female traits were treated the same as males.
I just noticed something crazy Because of auditory processing I always have subtitles on anything I watch and wouldn't understand anything without them. Most of the people I talk to in real life, I only half understand. I manage because it's a bit easier with people I'm familiar with and I'm pretty good at guessing what people are saying and pretending I heard them But with Paige I'm not fully reliant on subtitles, I can mostly understand her without!
I have never gone through burnout until this week (or, at least, I think it's burnout, idk I'm too busy gaslighting myself to know) the amount of times I touched something that took the moisture from my fingers (my main sensory issue) and all of the noise in the classroom really got to me and I've just been so tired all the time. But this video really made me feel better. Thank you.
I was diagnosed with Autism when I was 3 years old. I'm 21 years old now and have very bad social anxiety. But I'm working on it. So thank you for making these videos. They help me better understand my autism. Keep up the great work.
Watching this again, a year after my diagnosis. These phases aren't necessarily singular. I've been through them many times and I expect to cycle through them for a while. But I do have to say, acceptance feels so kind and peaceful. I want to stay in this phase.
Girl! I love you so much! I identify so much with your quirky, weirdness. I've just recently started to discover that I'm probably autistic. Everything you're saying sounds like my internal monologue! And I'm 43 years old! It's so hard to start processing this. Thanks to your guidance I feel so much more compassion for my struggles and recently started telling people, researching and EVEN TOLD MY DOCTOR. I'm sad about the past for sure, but also so proud of how much I've accomplished regardless of how F'n hard things have been. Sending huge hugs your way(with consent of course). THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for making this video! If I'm allowed to introduce myself: "I'm David. I love music. And my kids. And smart home tech." Unfortunately, that's about all i can say about myself - because I actually don't know who I am. I was diagnosed two or three years ago after a severe mental burnout that made much of my life fall to pieces. I was around 45 years old, now 47. Imagine the massive confusion when being forced to find out who you REALLY are after such a long time living as a simulation of a human being. Feels good to see I'm not alone with those struggles (well actually, it feels like shit that anyone else has to deal with them too, but you see what i mean). 🙂
I hope you don't think that those years were wasted by being this "simulation" I thought that at first thinking how I didn't live to the full but it had to happen this way to eventually arrive at this point
@@livvielov I think i see it a little bit of both. Some things has been good and some bad and there's no way to change it now. So i guess it's ok. But i do regret some things I've done in the past and those things comes up from time to time. In this new light i feel some of them could have been avoided and that's kind of hurtful...
Your on the right track David and you will be okay. I really liked the advice in the video and I think it applies to you as well as myself- focus on what you like or don't like and to discover that started out simple by asking yourself yes no questions and building from there. It's so much nicer to live as your own version of a human instead of masking your entire life as a conglomeration of so many other people's personalities you've taken and tried to put together into what you think yours should be
Never been diagnosed, but I have been through all of these bc I know someone who is autistic and we both talked about our childhoods and realized they were eerily similar. So I have gone through all of these stages.
@@IndustrialParrot2816 yes I have. Said I have a lot of traits of Asperger's and should get tested, but psychologists where I live still have very conservative views over mental health. Conservative meaning "you can't have depression, you're 10." So I would rather not get tested bc it wouldn't make a difference for me.
@@kcs8517Conservative doctors over here too, "it's autogynephilia not GD" type... I hope you are able to find someone more educated and with the times.
We experience imposter syndrome cause we're surrounded by ableists who only want to invalidate our mental health and it's diagnosis which makes us struggle more than we should.
Getting my diagnosis at 37 years old really changed up these stages. I started out with denial of anything wrong and my whole life was just a coincidence of dealing with unreasonable people. 🤣 Then I found your TH-cam, and launched immediately into the research stage. Then the camaraderie stage. Then a year of testing and a relatively unsurprising diagnosis, and in that diagnosis was a determination that I was in the midst of a prolonged burnout (which made it even more ✨fun✨) And because I had 36 previous years to unpack, your WTF stage lasted....quite a long time. Then the making sense of everything in life and I think that's the stage I'm at. Though I do get a bit of the imposter feeling here and there.
Stages: 1. WTF?? | 0:42 2. Denial | 1:12 3. Wait a second... | 1:37 4. 1st Research | 1:57 5. I am understood!!! This is me!!! | 2:06 6. Alright. I'm autistic. | 2:30 7. Imposter Syndrome | 3:09 8. 2nd Research | 3:33 9. Feeling the worst | 3:57 10. Feeling the worst + identity crisis | 4:40 11. Ah. Too much. Brain too much. | 5:13 12. Self-discovery | 6:00 13. This is ok and right. | 7:49 (There might be a typo in the video if you're searching for stage 11 or maybe I missed something)
That's so true about listening to your body. Long before autism was on my radar, I started having to just walk through the grocery store and see what made me salivate to figure out what to have. I still have to do this.
This is a very privileged take. For many people the process will be more complicated, particularly people struggling with complex trauma, multiple mental health issues, or barriers to accessing care. Many people will be misdiagnosed, sometimes more than once, and undergo unhelpful treatments. Many people will develop chronic illness that takes up so much space that autism - as a diagnosis - is almost a footnote. Many people will become parents. Many people will lose parents. Many people will go through so many changes and learn so many new things that autism becomes a very small part of their identity very quickly. Many people will feel attacked for that part of their identity, or be pressured to conceal it. Many people will be physically attacked for showing autistic behaviors. Many people will feel stuck because they can't invest the time/energy/income to seek official diagnosis or treatment. Many people will experience delays in the process that leave them feeling confused, and many will have their experiences invalidated when they are told they do not meet the requirements for diagnosis because of factors outside their control (ie no immediate family to advise at evaluation). Many people will have family who are unsupportive at best, or actively obstruct care. Many people will have family who dismiss the diagnosis entirely, who laugh, who believe they are lying, or who insist that it doesn't matter. Many people will be gaslit about their diagnosis. Many people will go through a period of isolation, feeling more misunderstood than ever. And many people will never find that community. Many people will not experience autistic joy. Many people will not feel all these warm and cozy things, or get this sense of relief, or have the privilege to go to therapy and get to the other side of grief. If you were punished, abused, consistently berated and ridiculed for your autistic behaviors, then maybe those things don't feel safe for you. Maybe you have many traumas layered on top of that. Maybe being more aware of your autistic behaviors after all this research is actually very triggering for you. Maybe therapy just doesn't help you- and maybe you can't afford to be retraumatized in the process. If you didn't feel safe at home, then maybe you spend your adult life trying to build safety for yourself. And maybe safety means masking. Maybe safety means you don't have to be a different person after diagnosis. It's okay. This narrative about the process is relatable for a lot of people, surely, maybe most of the people in the target audience, but for me it's like... I can't be that version of me. My trauma isn't like peeling back layers and eventually reaching the part of me without all the baggage. Learning all this about myself didn't let me out of a box into greater freedom. The traumatized version of me that is terrified to take up space is authentically me. It's the only version that exists. There's not an imaginary autistic version of me that shows more autistic behaviors. I don't feel autistic joy- I feel unsafe. Trauma is not separate from me. It's always now, happening in the present. It lives in my body. A little bit of everything, all of the time. Life didn't stop for me to have this experience processing my traumas, reinventing myself. New traumas happen all the time, and old traumas are woven into the present. The relief I had from diagnosis didn't release me from the behaviors I learned to cope with trauma. And it didn't release me from traumatizing situations. I was finally validated in diagnosis, but I didn't feel it. For everyone who mattered to me, this huge moment did not matter to them. I was disappointed. I was unsupported. I was sad. I felt heavy. I believed in "after" but by the time I actually got there, I had so many things that were just heavier. I wasn't free from those. And none of them are separate from autism. Some of us are just surviving. Some of us don't feel safe enough to do things differently. And some of us don't have an "after" like this one. And that's okay. I love to see autistic joy, and I love to see autistic people sharing stories about their experiences. I am so glad for everyone who got to this happy ending, rediscovering themselves, proud and thriving. For everyone else- I'm sorry. It's okay that you're not there. I'm proud of you. Your work is valid, too. Maybe you're not okay right now but sometime in the future you can hold a furry friend, or walk barefoot on the earth, or smell the air right after it rains, or find a soft sweater, or make a very satisfying collection, or discover a new song that you're going to love. You haven't found all the things you're going to love yet.
I got diagnosed a couple weeks ago and I felt so relieved. I wasn’t broken, I was autistic Edited to Add: I’d been going to therapy at least once a week for the last five years, including two residential stays and a hospitalization. I thought that no matter how hard I tried, my depressive symptoms just weren’t leaving. Namely being overly sensitive to noises, being irritable/easily overwhelmed, resisting change, social anxiety, having sensory issues that lead to poor hygiene. Learning that those were all autism and that therapy had actually been worth it was so amazing. And it also unlocked college for me. The thought of college was terrifying, but I’m going back this fall and I’ll have accommodations and I’m actually getting excited about it. It truly changed my life for the better. And I’m letting myself unmask when I’m alone, and letting myself use noise cancelling headphones or sunglasses or stim. It’s so so relieving to know that I’m not broken, and that I don’t need to suffer through things
Not sure if I'll ever get an actual diagnosis and if I do it'll be a long time from now but this could still be applicable to self-diagnosing. Edit: yeah right now I'm in the anger stage about how difficult the world makes it to be autistic/identity crisis stage. It's so fun.
I feel the exact same way, with a little bit of imposter syndrome. I feel like I don’t have a right to call myself autistic without a professional but I feel like it will never happen
@@Elielawr and then sometimes I feel weird about feeling like I need a professional's opinion before I can really do anything because sometimes professionals suck, especially when it comes to autism specifically. And I feel weird because diagnoses are expensive in America (especially because I've never been able to utilize a therapist or a psychiatrist or anything before) so I'd be starting from scratch and that's a lot of money that I may not be able to make 1) in this garbage capitalist nightmare and 2) without the help from those professionals in the first place. Despite my autism being very clear and undeniable I still feel a lot of imposter syndrome around it and other things.
I didn’t have the first two steps because I kind of self diagnosed before getting my official diagnosis, but just kind of stumbled upon info online. So my first stage was “does this describe me????”
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
Was diagnosed last month, so I’m looking forward to this 😅 btw, I found your channel long before my diagnosis Edit: They’re kind of backwards for me personally, since I had most of the first stages before the official confirmation. For that reason, the denial stage was more like “you’re misdiagnosing yourself, you just want attention (within just yourself?!), blablabla”. But I’ve changed a lot ever since I’ve really come to terms with it. In some areas I think, for the worst. I catch myself being very demanding on (?) my family. For example whenever something happens that I don’t like (eg yesterday’s example, not telling me things in advance that matter a great deal to me, like when I have to use public transport when I didn’t expect it and am not mentally prepared) my thoughts jump immediately to “but they know now, why don’t they still respect me?”. Is that bad? I don’t know, I don’t really understand how much consideration and how many accommodations I really deserve, in the end. It’s also really hard to tell who I’m supposed to tell. When is a conversation “close” enough to mention it? Very confusing to me. Especially as someone who has always been belittled and told my problems were luxuries and that I’m an attention seeker (I was previously diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder - and schizoid personality disorder right below in the next line, which my current doctor says is ridiculous). But what resonates with me a lot is the fact that I keep discovering more and more things about myself that might have to do with the diagnosis. All the sensory stuff for sure. But also stuff like that it mentally pains me that information or a specific pattern isn’t lining up, to the point that I keep getting into arguments (both online and offline) about “nit-picky” stuff, like when a conjunction is missing or wrong in a sentence and I have to point out that their literal words don’t make any sense. Should I work on that? Probably. I have a lot of anger issues, which is why I’m currently working on meditation and learning to focus on the positives. There’s things I absolutely won’t change, though. And things I’m working towards. I recently made a big purchase on noise-cancelling headphones and I don’t regret it! Even though I have to admit that I only have an hour or so before the feeling of something in my ear drives me crazy 😅 I also have discovered that there is so much that still needs to be done with education. In the unmasking process (at least partially) I notice so much that people still aren’t willing to accept, mostly in the sense that they can’t imagine a specific thing could be worse for others than it is or would be for them. So they assume whatever you’re telling them is the same for you than it is for them. As a result, when I tell them I have fatigue or am overwhelmed, they roll their eyes and tell me they are too, while at the same time making fun of me for being dramatic and exaggerating. So … it won’t be easy if you consider being open about it. BUT I will also say that it is easier than before. I wish you all the best 🍀
@@clarasamuelthomas No, I’m not 😂 But I’m happy someone can relate. Because I just reread what I wrote and wondered if I was on caffeine or something because I rambled so much xD
I first realized I could be autistic in June of 2020 when I was 22 years old. I went through all the stages over the next two years. Finally, on May 4, 2022 I was officially diagnosed with ASD. Even though I had gone through the stages once, after my official diagnosis, I feel like my brain finally allowed it to sink in. Finally I was able to fully accept myself. I went through an identity crisis when I was 18 before I even had the slightest inclination I could be autistic. But I went through a bigger one after I realized I could be autistic. Now finally, at 24 years old, I can begin to really discover who I am and begin to accept myself. I still get angry that I wasn’t diagnosed earlier sometimes, but I’m working on accepting it.
51 and just now realizing. Ironically I studied autism when getting my MA degree in Special Education, and knew I resonated with a lot of what was at the time called Aspergers, but didn't see the diability peace until decades later, when the meltdowns caused so much disfunction in my life I had to figure out wtf. Thanks for being you Paige. Great channel. :)
I was diagnosed with ADHD not autism but a lot of this applied to get my diagnosis, especially the imposter syndrome stuff. I started allowing myself to stim and then someone told me that it didn’t look genuine and I immediately thought I was faking. I literally googled “How to know if your faking ADHD” and then took a bunch of quizzes to “prove” that I was faking it. I’m finally accepting myself and i’m incredibly grateful for that.
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
I’m from the uk and due to poor adult autism funding and the pandemic I’ve been waiting to find out if I’m autistic for around 2.5 years now, I’ve gone through most of the stages and still feel like I don’t have any right to feel this way yet. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life and I heard you when you said things have gotten harder but so have I. I hope one day this doesn’t have to be such a battle, but I’ll be damned if it’s one I’m gona let myself lose.
Not me happy crying and I’m not even 2 minutes in because of how much I’m relating. God I need to get the courage to start the process of getting a diagnosis. I’ve been saying I’ll schedule my first appointment every week for the past year and I’ve yet to even dial the number. Hope maybe this week will be the one! Thanks as always for sharing Paige you help so much!
I don't care much for labels or diagnoses. The reason is that I believe that practically everyone has some degree of disfunctionality, but some are better hiding it than others. I've seen people who were put on a pedestal, but come to find out they cheat on their spouse, abuse kids, have bipolar disorder, or have bizarre fetishes. The people you see in public are not real in the sense they are putting on a front. They show you what they think you want to see. Coming out as "autistic" or whatever, provides these fake people with a nice distraction from their own faults While I find Paige's videos entertaining, I've seen (and experienced) how making medical conditions known to others has resulted in people not getting promoted, rejected from job offers, and being seen as an outcast.
I had been self diagnosed for a little while. It started off as just seeing random things about autism I could relate to while scrolling through social media, I'd brush it off as a coincidence at first but after so many times, it starts seeming like morsnthannhust a coincidence so i started doing resesrch and the more research I did, the more itd resonate with me. Started seeing a psychiatrist, got testing done, and just got an official diagnosis a few days ago. (Autism, generalized anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD). It's such a relief to hear that I was right this whole time, having an official diagnosis definitely helps with the imposter syndrome that I had when just self diagnosed.
I strongly suspected I was autistic, so after I got assessed, I went straight into woohoo! That's totally me. And now I totally love it. Of course, I got diagnosed this year at 46 years old. I'd already figured out ways to manage myself. And now autism is a special interest. I'm trying to figure out what if anything I can do to make myself more functional(my executive dysfunction is super bad, and I'm still feeling burn out from parenting and chronic pain from Ehlers Danlos). So I just got a therapist who specializes in autistics/chronic pain etc. Super happy about this. I'm sorry you had so much struggle around it. I can understand it being a shock if you didn't suspect it. 💜
Thanks for sharing. I am 47 and figured it out when my youngest son was diagnosed. I also have already figured out ways to mostly manage myself but knowing has really helped with that as well. Have a good weekend. Also..I hear you on burnout from parenting! I have 2 kids and they both have ASD/ADHD. One thing from each parent.
@@faeriesmak my kid has both too. She made me realize I had it for sure. I'd suspected though. And she hasn't been diagnosed yet. The school is dragging its feet.
@@reneesolana6697 I searched on the psychology today website, and found someone who specialized in autism. I definitely have burnout issues, which is a major reason I'm seeking help.
So glad you found someone who specializes in both autism and chronic pain! Though yet to be formally diagnosed, I strongly suspect having both conditions you've mentioned, and I have a therapist that helps clients with chronic pain and autism (and ADHD!). Super helpful! Best to you on your journey to become more functional~
My son, 3,5 years old doesnt line up toys, doesn't walk on top toes, doesn't have stereptypics but he doesn't make eye conctact, doesn't look at me when i call him, barely do my directions, easily be distracted, and he memories all stuff. He actually start to speak at one year old asking "What's that?" and memorized all object names. This is why we didn't understand earlier his autism. He doesnt develop normal language, doesn't communicate. Confusing me all the time.
So do I just show this to my husband of 12 years and my therapist of 8 years and then just rewatch this over and over bc this is the only thing that’s ever helped me help me.
Stuck at the imposter stage as I am told that I should try a little harder, that I should stop collecting labels and the medication is doing more harm than good.
I was diagnosed when I was 4…tbh back then I thought it was great/basically thought I had superpowers🦸🏼♀️….then came the teenage years & I was in the ‘denial’ stage for like 10 years 😂 it’s good to finally accept and be happy 🥰 Love to all who are newly diagnosed, it gets better ! 💜
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 16 and mask myself for a really long time, making my anxiety and depression worse! I also have really bad social anxiety but I am working on it! It was just hard growing up getting multiple diagnosis but not one them completely true! So when I got diagnosed it was a big relief! I remember my doctor who diagnose me to celebrate myself, autism, and differences and you will be okay! I always will cherish that in my heart! I am now 18 graduating high school and doing amazing! I love your videos, they help a lot! And it nice to know that I am not alone in what I am feeling!
I'm almost done with your book. When I got to the part where you pulled out the blue sticky notes, and wrote down things about yourself, and then removed all the ones you knew were not true, I started to get scared. I had to stop reading and think about aspects of my own personhood, and I started to feel overwhelmingly anxious. I realized that almost everything about myself is just something I either arbitrarily picked or copied from another person. I went to bed knowing two truths about who I am as a person.
I was diagnosed at age 3. But then my parents didn’t tell me until I was in high school. They told me I was “cured.” Now I’m diagnosed again in my 40s and I don’t know what stage I’m in. Swirling in all of them, I guess. Thanks for this amazing video, super duper easy subscribe
Thank you :) I needed this right now. I've just had a very frustrating day at work and learned that there has been some miscommunication about my roles and responsibilities and that I haven't been doing enough in certain areas which I was previously unaware of. I guess they "tried" to tell me but being neurodivergent I need things explicitly spelled out if someone is unhappy with me. Sooo yeah that was rough, rejection sensitive dysphoria, hating my brain for essentially failing me in not behaving like neurotypical, and being terrified of having to go back into the job market again if things don't get better. I've known about my ADHD and anxiety since age 16/17 or so but I've still always felt like something was missing. Like I wasn't seeing everything. Medication helps some and so does therapy but like there's just something....there that I can't identify and I can't quite figure out how to explain it. I've been watching this channel for a few months, and a couple of other folks who are autistic and a lot of things seem to fit for me. I had thought about going with my self-diagnosis of "hey I might have this" (I also have 2 psychology degrees so I felt like mayyybe I didn't need to go further than that knowing more about the human brain than maybe the average person?) but I think I'll bring this up to my therapist. Because I feel like the comprehension thing could be an autism thing and not an adhd thing and I'd rather know for sure, so that I can better protect myself against this sort of thing happening again. At the very least I now know that I need to be VERY upfront with people about making it clear when they are not satisfied with something I've done, they need to explicitly TELL me and not just expect that I can infer that information.
omg as someone that was EXACTLY what i went through BEFORE actually getting diagnosed and then some stages what i’m going through now that I have been diagnosed. But at the same time it’s kinda fun and refreshing.. I finally can say I’m actually autistic.
i started going through these stages after my first psychologist told me she believed i might be autistic and wanted me checked. i of course denied it for a while and now its been years of research and everything, since getting checked has the longest waiting list to ever exist
Imagine a therapist would help you get through all of those stages because they actually understood what this all means for you. I've gotten so many diagnoses throughout my life and honestly autism was the only one where I've been so left alone in dealing with it. It's really kind of sad how there are barely any doctors, therapists etc who are educated on it.
This video makes me feel a lot of nostalgia since most of the stages are actual stages of what I have gone through in my life as an autistic boy. I am very inspired by this video and I want more Paige Layle videos. I am so proud of them.
Currently im bouncing between imposter syndrome and just total identity crisis. Because i KNOW i have adhd and I have a lot of social anxiety always have I had a lot of motor stuff as a child. But i study people SO hard and these days i will only interact with them if I've "learned" them. Learned how they talk sbd generally behave so that I know they are safe. I remember eatching everysingle "how to survive Middle School" video i possibly could the summer before middle school. In highschool my acting teacher taught us how to break down and annotate scripts and monologues where there was always an objective and obstacle and subtext for every line. And its your job to figure it out. So thats how interpret things
Im self diagnosed because I’m femme and live in the us where health care is bs but I know I’m autistic because of research and my own self awareness and I relate so much to this I’m in tears.
This is where i feel self diagnosis and being given a diagnosis vary. If one is given a diagnosis, it's being presented by another person and might come completely out of the blue and not feel like it 'belongs' to you. Being self-diagnosed at least initially, you start at the 'research' stage and probably don't go through denial. I think this can be applied to any medical diagnosis; there are two options, either 1.) a medical professional slaps it on you out of the blue and you may well feel denial or 2.) starting with self diagnosis you get the huge relief of having confirmed something about you that you knew for a long time. One belongs to you straight out of the gate, the other you may choose whether you take on board or not
This video helped me tremendously to understand the last few weeks of my life. I was diagnosed with autism 2 weeks ago but have suspected it for over 10 years. But even though my life right now is super hard, it feels good to finally get to know myself after 35 years.
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
oh wow this is eerily relatable. I haven't been officially diagnosed but my friends who are autistic told me I was and it took me a year to go back and forth through the stages to finally get to acceptance. I think I'm on the far end of the spectrum near neurotypical because I don't have many of the traits others do, but it does explain a lot of my social behavior and how my mind works. I don't have most of the sensory issues unless I have anxiety, in which case I'm easily overstimulated and overwhelmed. I don't think I need an official diagnosis or to identify explicitly as autistic, but it is helpful to understand why I am the way I am and how I can deal with my social issues.
This video was amazing! Perfectly described my reactions as well (early 50’s, recently diagnosed following self-diagnosis). Since each stage can bring out intense emotions, it’s very helpful to be able to say, “Oh that’s right, this is one of the stages.” Thank you for laying it out so accurately and so clearly!
I really relate to this about my ADHD diagnosis at age 31. Particularly the "Omg, that's me!" being constantly in tension with "I'm an overeducated faker." It's been close to a year. I'm getting much more comfortable with conceptualizing my brain this new way.
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
This is so relatable and well said! The only difference for me is that instead of mourning my past self, I am working through mourning a future version of me who will never be. More specifically, I am 25 and my closest friend is getting married and I'm watching people from high school and college get married, buy houses, and have kids, when I live in my studio apartment with my two cats and no ex or current significant other. All of these life milestones have been so hard for me to conceptualize for myself and I always felt broken because people seem to move so much faster than me. Now I know that I don't have to live up to these standards that I should never have set for myself in the first place. I can't expect to go on the same journey as everyone around me when we aren't working with the same situations and brains. (I am not saying that autistic people are incapable of marriage, parenting, etc., but rather I speak for my situation only. They're standards I just cant meet personally.)
I FELT this… I was even in denial for a decade and I’m just struggling. I hope I can learn how to be me without forcing the persona that’s nearly killed me my whole life.
I don't know how many times I've gone back to stage two even after diagnosis. The stages after being diagnosed with autism are like a cycle, once you reach the Impostor Syndrome stage everything repeats ALL OVER AGAINNNNNNNNNNN
I literally discovered I was autistic today when I watched your video of about laughing at the weird kid. It felt crazy because I realized that I was that weird kid and I would get laughed at so I stopped doing those things so people wouldn't laugh at me. Then I realized I might be autistic and was shocked so I binged a bunch of videos and realized that pretty much all the stuff applies to me, I even Googled things about myself only to find out that they were autistic behaviors. I literally have had depression, HORRIBLE anxiety, OCD and ADHD. But I tried not to label myself as ADHD because I remember how another kid got teased for having it when I was younger. Even when watching this video, I realized I've went through almost all the phases today alone. But I keep jumping back and forth. Thank you so much for making that video, it's helped me so much. If it wasn't for that video I wouldn't me making these discoveries now ❤️🙏
When I was first diagnosed at 18 I was devastated because it ruined my self image, I wanted to be normal and that was basically confirmation that I wasn't. I denied it for a while and then slowly came to begrudgingly accept it. It's been almost a year and I'm coming around to accept it and be proud of it. Your videos have really helped me see it more positively and see it in myself and learn to love and understand my autism. Thank you so much for what you do.
I'm 13 and in my first year of high school. I got diagnosed literally 3 days ago with autism and adhd. It's weird since I never ever thought that I was autistic at ALL. It also sucks because yk being a teenager basically means that you think that ur different and weird. Now it kinda feels like that the diagnosis basically just confirmed that. Right now I feel like a lot of things make sense, but I don't think I can really talk about it to my friends. I told my closest friend and she immediately confused it with down syndrome. So I dunno, right now I feel like a bit of a freak. But ur videos make me feel less alone. And they also make me feel ok to be a bit of a freak. Thank u, ik you don't know me but you really help ❤
I was late diagnosis in my 40's, and it was the most enlightening moment of my life with stage 3 (I sorta skipped 1 & 2). So much made complete sense. Excellent video.
There’s also the stage: telling everyone you are autistic, followed by the next stage: regretting telling everyone you are autistic
😂
😭
it's better for people to know and feel comfortable around you, then to hide kill yourself and make others feel uncomfortable around you.
😳
So fucking true 😂
😂 preach
0:48 Stage 1: WTF
1:15 Stage 2: Denial
1:40 Stage 3: Wait a second
1:58 Stage 4: Research
2:07 Stage 5: OMG that's me
2:31 Stage 6: Alright. I'm autistic
3:11 Stage 7: Imposter Syndrome
3:36 Stage 8: 2nd Research
4:00 Stage 9: Feeling the worst
4:41 Stage 10: prev. + Identity Crisis
5:15 Stage 11: Ah. Brain too much
6:01 Stage 12: Self Discovery
7:49 Stage 13: This is OK and right
(I couldn't keep track of the steps so I wrote them down for all of us)
I absolutely went through these stages when I self diagnosed myself with autism. I’m officially diagnosed now, but I kinda worked through all the phases before it was official lol
That happened to me but with ADHD!! I'm decently sure I'm autistic also but still trying to figure it out :)
@@jvb2279 it happened with my adhd too lol
@@jvb2279 Me too! I self diagnosed myself with adhd and I went trough every single one of these stages before my official diagnosis. And now, almost a year after that, I realize I'm going trhough these stages again with autism. I strongly believe I am autistic and I plan on bringing up the subject with my therapist next week, I hope it goes well
yeah i started the 'wtf' stage when my mom first mentioned that she thinks i have autism. still haven't been professionally diagnosed, but i'm doing lots of research on asd and adhd and i hope to get a diagnosis within the next year or two :D
@@aikemartincentlivre5662 yeah haha I relate to this so much-
I love how you showed that autism acceptance isn’t linear!
I was diagnosed a couple weeks ago! But I've known that I'm autistic for almost a year, so it wasn't too overwhelming. I'm really happy to finally be diagnosed. I also have a couple friends who are autistic too which is really cool
I'm part of the Burning Man community, and there are TONS of autistics. Being surrounded by other autistics is hugely fantastic. It makes life way easier.
@@beanoneya That's cool, I'm studying ICT which is pretty popular among autistic people i think
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago as well! My group of friends all took a few of the screening questionnaires for ASD (RAADS-R, AQ), and 75% scored above the cutoff ranges on both! 😸
The friends that didn’t score high already were diagnosed with other things like ADHD, dyslexia. It’s so interesting how we’ve found each other!
Me too it is more like interesting, it doesn't matter who you are, what you are born with, don't let anyone judge you about your age, your responsibility, your weight, height, your fit, and other stuff be yourself by letting your experience be posititve.😎
I was speaking to a nurse about diagnosis and she was saying if I really was autistic maybe I wouldn't want to be diagnosed 🤦
Currently learning to unmask
*I HAVE HAD MORE HELP* from you and your fellow Gen Z AutisTic Tok's in 4 days than I have from anything in the last 52 years - THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART...!!!
When a doctor first flagged to me that I might be autistic (I was 22) I felt like hyperconscious of my mannerisms: like I was an imposter of a human trying to keep up a facade. Three years later and I'm still making discoveries about myself and working on unmasking, but I'm excited to figure out who I am without the mask!
Let’s hear you say “HELL YEAH” if you had a “I’ve only just found out I was actually diagnosed 20 years ago” phase
I was diagnosed in my 40s. That was a lot of life to look back on and reframe. I didn't resist or doubt the diagnosis at all, I welcomed it, wanted it and was so validated by it. It was just a wave of relief, then yes grieving and anger and regret, and a whirlwind of thought and learning... but then calm, acceptance and a cosy, safe, hopeful feeling and a lot of joy. It's been one of the best things in my life.
Thanks for sharing! I was around 45. Accepted it right away, but i wasn't prepared for the feelings following a monumental identity crisis. Still struggling but deep down I've never doubted it will be totally worth it.
Thank you both for sharing your experience, in my 50s and just discovered I fit the criteria and suprised suddenly can relate to so many warm, understanding, wonderful people.
Omg I was literally diagnosed two days ago, perfect timing :). Thanks, Paige.
I was diagnosed a week ago, so this is good timing for me too!
I was diagnosed a day ago! cheers yall :))
Me, too!
How did you guys get diagnosed, what tests are there?
i was diagnosed just over a month ago! Paige is a great creator
I'm self-diagnosed with formal assessment coming up later this year and I'm already going through these stages. I know I'm autistic. At this point, if my assessment comes out saying I'm not, I'm getting a second opinion. I'm told this is sometimes part of the process of getting diagnosed, especially for older females (I'm in my 40's). Anyway. I am already mourning the loss of the life I could have had if I'd known sooner. It's been REALLY hard.
Same exact situation except I am 15 :) best of luck. We got this 👐
@@stargirlscinnamoncherry Best of luck to you too!
I got my diagnosis at 43, so I know what you mean.
I'm one of those lucky people who never had to go through one of those existential crisis, because my mom knew from my birth, and then I had a formal diagnosis through my school in 4th grade. I never really had a what is wrong with me stage, just a denial about autism being real stage since obviously it's an excuse for bad behavior like all the people my parents age and up told me to my face.... It probably wasn't until a couple years ago when I decided, fuck that, I'll do my on research thank you. Turns out that all my struggles are largely due to that. I go non verbal and get really angry when I'm overwhelmed or overstimulated, all those people I thought were flying off the handle out of nowhere apparently had a lot of cues that they were upset that I completely missed, or I misread they were mad and made them that way, and my mom wasn't about to cry, she just had a mild sunburn.... And I can't identify my own emotions beyond anger and sadness, and I'm a clumsy asshole..... Basically what I'm saying is I'm glad I was given the opportunity to research my diagnosis and was essentially given all the answers, and the tools needed to get diagnosed with ocd anxiety depression and potentially ADHD. It's made my life a lot easier than it could've been. I'm excited for you to get your diagnosis, because even if you think you're super at peace and have all the answers already, it's probably just as surprising a weight to have off your shoulders to get a diagnosis as it was for me to research mine when I finally got out of my head about it
@@courtnrysalamone7677 Thank you for sharing your experience. Life is always harder for autistic people, whether or not we have a diagnosis.
I relate to several of these stages from getting diagnosed with ADHD at age 21 (even though I'm not autistic). Identity crises are fun.
Autism is very commonly misdiagnosed with ADHD. So being on the autism spectrum is definitely something to look into and consider
@@kaceywasson3307 n comorbid
I am going through a little identity crisis right now i really need to stop stressing over it but i cant stop stressing over it even though i know that thinking about this is literally just stressing me out and either way i am still who i am nothing changes that… BUT….
@spiritsofwolves what's up, how are you now 2 years later??
@@Sun-ng7gj I might as well give an update as well: turns out I am autistic
I had basically 3 stages:
1. When my psychiatrist got the diagnosis from an old psychiatrist of mine who didn't inform me, and told me, I was like: Hm, interesting.
2. I looked up Asperger-Syndrom on Wikipedia (and I will not continue to call it that, just that was what I got told about and looked up) and thought: This makes so much sense and everything that happened until this point finally makes sense.
3. Regret that I did not know/got the diagnosis earlier
I was young when I was diagnosed, so there was no mourning of an “old self” in particular. However that wtf stage is true. Many a guys feel like they’re an alien that isn’t accepted. I felt and still feel like that, especially after my last break up where I felt like an utter narcissistic crap bag. After watching some of these videos I realized that the self importance side of my diagnosis wasn’t checked and many other things were not trained into me much at a young age (mainly autism and dating). Watching these vids have given me a better understanding of myself and it feels good not to be the only person who “doesn’t look autistic” 🤙🙏
I notice being more accepting of it is a huge relief around people and groups - ironically comes across more open in groups too.
"You're different!" - "Ah yes I am, I have Asperger's like Elon Musk" -
"Why so quiet?" - "Thanks for asking, I just got here actually and was looking to meet some people - how's this going so far?"
I recently realized that I am autistic, over the years I have wondered why I felt "different" and now coming to terms with my autism has been helpful but hard. Thank you for sharing your experience because it helps me better understand mine ❤️
I sought out my diagnosis and was diagnosed last year at the age of 48. This video is so relatable, working it out and having it validated reframed a lot of my life and I have to remind myself that people didn't know back then. Still get happy/excited when I see something that is an autism trait and I can go wow me too, so that is why I do that.
How did you seek out your diagnosis? I am about your age and I don't how to go about this at all. I went to a website trying to find help and all I got was someone trying to get me to fill out forms to get medical help from the government which I didn't do.
@@alexanderlapp5048 I'm in Australia so I looked up where there are clinical psychologists near me in a psychological association website that say that they specialise in diagnosing adults with autism.
From there the process is going to my GP to get a referral so that I can get subsidised appointments from the government (the referral is for a specific person/practice so a good idea to find out if they have capacity first).
Once I got the appointment I met with him a couple of times and filled in lots of testing, the practice that I went to also got me to fill in a big questionnaire as pre paperwork so that he had basic information to go on before speaking to me.
I also had already looked into it and had a list of traits that applied to me so that I could give more information in a more condensed time.
I have heard from others that it is often for them to ask to speak to a parent or someone who knows you well so that they can answer questions about different things you say/do as you might not realise because it is your normal.
this was actually surprisingly accurate to my experience despite me being self diagnosed!
Same i was diagnosed with adhd when i was 4-6 and they put me on meds which made me even more bounce off the walls, ive been thinking that they may have had just thought adhd because back when i was a child, autism wasnt where it is today with knowing more about it, i truly believe i am more on the spectrum then what adhd would put me, and since doing so much research on autism i can say that i am pretty sure i went misdiagnosed my whole 23 years of my life. But now as a person who "self diagnosed" my next steps are looking to where to go to get the actual diagnosis so i can actually feel better, and get the help i do need.
@@Bvbfangurl4life roughly the same for me but I'm pretty sure they were right about my ADHD and wrong about my only having OCD on top of it. Not being able to communicate my feelings at the time and the "reasons" behind said compulsions I realized my OCD diagnosis doesn't fit as well as ASD. I have had a few people in my life that were close friends on the spectrum that said I most likely have ASD. During the time I got my OCD and ADHD diagnosis it wasn't believed ASD could co-exist with ADHD / OCD and female traits were treated the same as males.
I just noticed something crazy
Because of auditory processing I always have subtitles on anything I watch and wouldn't understand anything without them.
Most of the people I talk to in real life, I only half understand. I manage because it's a bit easier with people I'm familiar with and I'm pretty good at guessing what people are saying and pretending I heard them
But with Paige I'm not fully reliant on subtitles, I can mostly understand her without!
I have never gone through burnout until this week (or, at least, I think it's burnout, idk I'm too busy gaslighting myself to know) the amount of times I touched something that took the moisture from my fingers (my main sensory issue) and all of the noise in the classroom really got to me and I've just been so tired all the time. But this video really made me feel better. Thank you.
I was diagnosed with Autism when I was 3 years old. I'm 21 years old now and have very bad social anxiety. But I'm working on it. So thank you for making these videos. They help me better understand my autism. Keep up the great work.
Omg I was diagnosed at age 3 too. I’m 19 now
@@kenziebrownn Nice. Glad to know I'm not alone.😊
I’m the same age, wanna be friends?
@@heyheyitshayden Sure.
I'm sorry you have to go through social anxiety. I can relate so much. I'm trying to get treated for it
Watching this again, a year after my diagnosis.
These phases aren't necessarily singular. I've been through them many times and I expect to cycle through them for a while.
But I do have to say, acceptance feels so kind and peaceful. I want to stay in this phase.
In the midst of this journey, Paige's channel has been such a blessing to me. I'm so glad she's here.
still in the burnout stage but feeling confident that there's hope, for the first time in my life I feel hopeful about the future
Girl! I love you so much! I identify so much with your quirky, weirdness. I've just recently started to discover that I'm probably autistic. Everything you're saying sounds like my internal monologue! And I'm 43 years old! It's so hard to start processing this. Thanks to your guidance I feel so much more compassion for my struggles and recently started telling people, researching and EVEN TOLD MY DOCTOR. I'm sad about the past for sure, but also so proud of how much I've accomplished regardless of how F'n hard things have been. Sending huge hugs your way(with consent of course). THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for making this video! If I'm allowed to introduce myself: "I'm David. I love music. And my kids. And smart home tech." Unfortunately, that's about all i can say about myself - because I actually don't know who I am. I was diagnosed two or three years ago after a severe mental burnout that made much of my life fall to pieces. I was around 45 years old, now 47. Imagine the massive confusion when being forced to find out who you REALLY are after such a long time living as a simulation of a human being. Feels good to see I'm not alone with those struggles (well actually, it feels like shit that anyone else has to deal with them too, but you see what i mean). 🙂
For what it's worth? You sound like an amazing person and I hope you build yourself into someone you love!
@@iw9472 Thank you! ❤️❤️
I hope you don't think that those years were wasted by being this "simulation" I thought that at first thinking how I didn't live to the full but it had to happen this way to eventually arrive at this point
@@livvielov I think i see it a little bit of both. Some things has been good and some bad and there's no way to change it now. So i guess it's ok. But i do regret some things I've done in the past and those things comes up from time to time. In this new light i feel some of them could have been avoided and that's kind of hurtful...
Your on the right track David and you will be okay. I really liked the advice in the video and I think it applies to you as well as myself- focus on what you like or don't like and to discover that started out simple by asking yourself yes no questions and building from there. It's so much nicer to live as your own version of a human instead of masking your entire life as a conglomeration of so many other people's personalities you've taken and tried to put together into what you think yours should be
Never been diagnosed, but I have been through all of these bc I know someone who is autistic and we both talked about our childhoods and realized they were eerily similar. So I have gone through all of these stages.
ah have you taken an online test
@@IndustrialParrot2816 yes I have. Said I have a lot of traits of Asperger's and should get tested, but psychologists where I live still have very conservative views over mental health. Conservative meaning "you can't have depression, you're 10." So I would rather not get tested bc it wouldn't make a difference for me.
@@kcs8517Conservative doctors over here too, "it's autogynephilia not GD" type... I hope you are able to find someone more educated and with the times.
We experience imposter syndrome cause we're surrounded by ableists who only want to invalidate our mental health and it's diagnosis which makes us struggle more than we should.
Getting my diagnosis at 37 years old really changed up these stages.
I started out with denial of anything wrong and my whole life was just a coincidence of dealing with unreasonable people. 🤣
Then I found your TH-cam, and launched immediately into the research stage. Then the camaraderie stage.
Then a year of testing and a relatively unsurprising diagnosis, and in that diagnosis was a determination that I was in the midst of a prolonged burnout (which made it even more ✨fun✨)
And because I had 36 previous years to unpack, your WTF stage lasted....quite a long time. Then the making sense of everything in life and I think that's the stage I'm at. Though I do get a bit of the imposter feeling here and there.
This is easily one of your best (and most hopeful) videos put up. Pat yourself on the back and keep on going with good content!
Stages:
1. WTF?? | 0:42
2. Denial | 1:12
3. Wait a second... | 1:37
4. 1st Research | 1:57
5. I am understood!!! This is me!!! | 2:06
6. Alright. I'm autistic. | 2:30
7. Imposter Syndrome | 3:09
8. 2nd Research | 3:33
9. Feeling the worst | 3:57
10. Feeling the worst + identity crisis | 4:40
11. Ah. Too much. Brain too much. | 5:13
12. Self-discovery | 6:00
13. This is ok and right. | 7:49
(There might be a typo in the video if you're searching for stage 11 or maybe I missed something)
That's so true about listening to your body. Long before autism was on my radar, I started having to just walk through the grocery store and see what made me salivate to figure out what to have. I still have to do this.
This is a very privileged take. For many people the process will be more complicated, particularly people struggling with complex trauma, multiple mental health issues, or barriers to accessing care.
Many people will be misdiagnosed, sometimes more than once, and undergo unhelpful treatments. Many people will develop chronic illness that takes up so much space that autism - as a diagnosis - is almost a footnote.
Many people will become parents. Many people will lose parents. Many people will go through so many changes and learn so many new things that autism becomes a very small part of their identity very quickly.
Many people will feel attacked for that part of their identity, or be pressured to conceal it. Many people will be physically attacked for showing autistic behaviors.
Many people will feel stuck because they can't invest the time/energy/income to seek official diagnosis or treatment. Many people will experience delays in the process that leave them feeling confused, and many will have their experiences invalidated when they are told they do not meet the requirements for diagnosis because of factors outside their control (ie no immediate family to advise at evaluation).
Many people will have family who are unsupportive at best, or actively obstruct care. Many people will have family who dismiss the diagnosis entirely, who laugh, who believe they are lying, or who insist that it doesn't matter. Many people will be gaslit about their diagnosis. Many people will go through a period of isolation, feeling more misunderstood than ever. And many people will never find that community. Many people will not experience autistic joy.
Many people will not feel all these warm and cozy things, or get this sense of relief, or have the privilege to go to therapy and get to the other side of grief. If you were punished, abused, consistently berated and ridiculed for your autistic behaviors, then maybe those things don't feel safe for you. Maybe you have many traumas layered on top of that. Maybe being more aware of your autistic behaviors after all this research is actually very triggering for you. Maybe therapy just doesn't help you- and maybe you can't afford to be retraumatized in the process. If you didn't feel safe at home, then maybe you spend your adult life trying to build safety for yourself. And maybe safety means masking. Maybe safety means you don't have to be a different person after diagnosis. It's okay.
This narrative about the process is relatable for a lot of people, surely, maybe most of the people in the target audience, but for me it's like... I can't be that version of me. My trauma isn't like peeling back layers and eventually reaching the part of me without all the baggage. Learning all this about myself didn't let me out of a box into greater freedom. The traumatized version of me that is terrified to take up space is authentically me. It's the only version that exists. There's not an imaginary autistic version of me that shows more autistic behaviors. I don't feel autistic joy- I feel unsafe. Trauma is not separate from me. It's always now, happening in the present. It lives in my body. A little bit of everything, all of the time. Life didn't stop for me to have this experience processing my traumas, reinventing myself. New traumas happen all the time, and old traumas are woven into the present.
The relief I had from diagnosis didn't release me from the behaviors I learned to cope with trauma. And it didn't release me from traumatizing situations. I was finally validated in diagnosis, but I didn't feel it. For everyone who mattered to me, this huge moment did not matter to them. I was disappointed. I was unsupported. I was sad. I felt heavy. I believed in "after" but by the time I actually got there, I had so many things that were just heavier. I wasn't free from those. And none of them are separate from autism.
Some of us are just surviving. Some of us don't feel safe enough to do things differently. And some of us don't have an "after" like this one. And that's okay.
I love to see autistic joy, and I love to see autistic people sharing stories about their experiences. I am so glad for everyone who got to this happy ending, rediscovering themselves, proud and thriving. For everyone else- I'm sorry. It's okay that you're not there. I'm proud of you. Your work is valid, too. Maybe you're not okay right now but sometime in the future you can hold a furry friend, or walk barefoot on the earth, or smell the air right after it rains, or find a soft sweater, or make a very satisfying collection, or discover a new song that you're going to love. You haven't found all the things you're going to love yet.
I was diagnosed two months ago and I feel like I'm going through a lot of those stages at THE SAME TIME
I am 36 years old and recently came to the conclusion that I am a high functioning autistic person. This video really hits home for me!
I got diagnosed a couple weeks ago and I felt so relieved. I wasn’t broken, I was autistic
Edited to Add: I’d been going to therapy at least once a week for the last five years, including two residential stays and a hospitalization. I thought that no matter how hard I tried, my depressive symptoms just weren’t leaving. Namely being overly sensitive to noises, being irritable/easily overwhelmed, resisting change, social anxiety, having sensory issues that lead to poor hygiene. Learning that those were all autism and that therapy had actually been worth it was so amazing. And it also unlocked college for me. The thought of college was terrifying, but I’m going back this fall and I’ll have accommodations and I’m actually getting excited about it. It truly changed my life for the better. And I’m letting myself unmask when I’m alone, and letting myself use noise cancelling headphones or sunglasses or stim. It’s so so relieving to know that I’m not broken, and that I don’t need to suffer through things
aaaaaa i’m in the imposter stage..going into the research stage..
god that "im lying" stage hits home
i know that i was like this growing up
but i still feel like im lying
Not sure if I'll ever get an actual diagnosis and if I do it'll be a long time from now but this could still be applicable to self-diagnosing.
Edit: yeah right now I'm in the anger stage about how difficult the world makes it to be autistic/identity crisis stage. It's so fun.
Cool you should take revolutionary action about that
You'll get past that stage, dw, or if you're like me, you will circle back to that stage every so often lol
@@LunarWind99 I think that the stages we fairly cyclical. Around and around we all go.
I feel the exact same way, with a little bit of imposter syndrome. I feel like I don’t have a right to call myself autistic without a professional but I feel like it will never happen
@@Elielawr and then sometimes I feel weird about feeling like I need a professional's opinion before I can really do anything because sometimes professionals suck, especially when it comes to autism specifically.
And I feel weird because diagnoses are expensive in America (especially because I've never been able to utilize a therapist or a psychiatrist or anything before) so I'd be starting from scratch and that's a lot of money that I may not be able to make 1) in this garbage capitalist nightmare and 2) without the help from those professionals in the first place.
Despite my autism being very clear and undeniable I still feel a lot of imposter syndrome around it and other things.
I didn’t have the first two steps because I kind of self diagnosed before getting my official diagnosis, but just kind of stumbled upon info online. So my first stage was “does this describe me????”
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
Better Help is absolutely awful. A scam and a lie.
Was diagnosed last month, so I’m looking forward to this 😅 btw, I found your channel long before my diagnosis
Edit: They’re kind of backwards for me personally, since I had most of the first stages before the official confirmation. For that reason, the denial stage was more like “you’re misdiagnosing yourself, you just want attention (within just yourself?!), blablabla”.
But I’ve changed a lot ever since I’ve really come to terms with it. In some areas I think, for the worst. I catch myself being very demanding on (?) my family. For example whenever something happens that I don’t like (eg yesterday’s example, not telling me things in advance that matter a great deal to me, like when I have to use public transport when I didn’t expect it and am not mentally prepared) my thoughts jump immediately to “but they know now, why don’t they still respect me?”. Is that bad? I don’t know, I don’t really understand how much consideration and how many accommodations I really deserve, in the end. It’s also really hard to tell who I’m supposed to tell. When is a conversation “close” enough to mention it? Very confusing to me. Especially as someone who has always been belittled and told my problems were luxuries and that I’m an attention seeker (I was previously diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder - and schizoid personality disorder right below in the next line, which my current doctor says is ridiculous).
But what resonates with me a lot is the fact that I keep discovering more and more things about myself that might have to do with the diagnosis. All the sensory stuff for sure. But also stuff like that it mentally pains me that information or a specific pattern isn’t lining up, to the point that I keep getting into arguments (both online and offline) about “nit-picky” stuff, like when a conjunction is missing or wrong in a sentence and I have to point out that their literal words don’t make any sense. Should I work on that? Probably.
I have a lot of anger issues, which is why I’m currently working on meditation and learning to focus on the positives.
There’s things I absolutely won’t change, though. And things I’m working towards. I recently made a big purchase on noise-cancelling headphones and I don’t regret it! Even though I have to admit that I only have an hour or so before the feeling of something in my ear drives me crazy 😅
I also have discovered that there is so much that still needs to be done with education. In the unmasking process (at least partially) I notice so much that people still aren’t willing to accept, mostly in the sense that they can’t imagine a specific thing could be worse for others than it is or would be for them. So they assume whatever you’re telling them is the same for you than it is for them. As a result, when I tell them I have fatigue or am overwhelmed, they roll their eyes and tell me they are too, while at the same time making fun of me for being dramatic and exaggerating.
So … it won’t be easy if you consider being open about it. BUT I will also say that it is easier than before. I wish you all the best 🍀
You literally spoke my words! Are you myself?
@@clarasamuelthomas No, I’m not 😂 But I’m happy someone can relate. Because I just reread what I wrote and wondered if I was on caffeine or something because I rambled so much xD
I first realized I could be autistic in June of 2020 when I was 22 years old. I went through all the stages over the next two years. Finally, on May 4, 2022 I was officially diagnosed with ASD. Even though I had gone through the stages once, after my official diagnosis, I feel like my brain finally allowed it to sink in. Finally I was able to fully accept myself. I went through an identity crisis when I was 18 before I even had the slightest inclination I could be autistic. But I went through a bigger one after I realized I could be autistic. Now finally, at 24 years old, I can begin to really discover who I am and begin to accept myself. I still get angry that I wasn’t diagnosed earlier sometimes, but I’m working on accepting it.
51 and just now realizing. Ironically I studied autism when getting my MA degree in Special Education, and knew I resonated with a lot of what was at the time called Aspergers, but didn't see the diability peace until decades later, when the meltdowns caused so much disfunction in my life I had to figure out wtf. Thanks for being you Paige. Great channel. :)
I was diagnosed with ADHD not autism but a lot of this applied to get my diagnosis, especially the imposter syndrome stuff. I started allowing myself to stim and then someone told me that it didn’t look genuine and I immediately thought I was faking. I literally googled “How to know if your faking ADHD” and then took a bunch of quizzes to “prove” that I was faking it. I’m finally accepting myself and i’m incredibly grateful for that.
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
@@Nba_kevin01 Are you being sarcastic?
low key these stages is very similar when one takes the "am I gay" quiz and many other quizzes
I’m from the uk and due to poor adult autism funding and the pandemic I’ve been waiting to find out if I’m autistic for around 2.5 years now, I’ve gone through most of the stages and still feel like I don’t have any right to feel this way yet. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life and I heard you when you said things have gotten harder but so have I. I hope one day this doesn’t have to be such a battle, but I’ll be damned if it’s one I’m gona let myself lose.
You can be seen much quicker through right to choose, just got to find places that will take RTC NHS referrals. It’s still free but much quicker
Not me happy crying and I’m not even 2 minutes in because of how much I’m relating. God I need to get the courage to start the process of getting a diagnosis. I’ve been saying I’ll schedule my first appointment every week for the past year and I’ve yet to even dial the number. Hope maybe this week will be the one! Thanks as always for sharing Paige you help so much!
This week will be the one. You'll never regret making that call, you might just regret taking so long. ❤️
Go girl!! 😍🥰
I don't care much for labels or diagnoses. The reason is that I believe that practically everyone has some degree of disfunctionality, but some are better hiding it than others. I've seen people who were put on a pedestal, but come to find out they cheat on their spouse, abuse kids, have bipolar disorder, or have bizarre fetishes.
The people you see in public are not real in the sense they are putting on a front. They show you what they think you want to see. Coming out as "autistic" or whatever, provides these fake people with a nice distraction from their own faults
While I find Paige's videos entertaining, I've seen (and experienced) how making medical conditions known to others has resulted in people not getting promoted, rejected from job offers, and being seen as an outcast.
Yeees!! I relate to this so much. I'm not Autistic but I show almost all of the same things she describes as someone with fibromyalgia, and BPD
I had been self diagnosed for a little while. It started off as just seeing random things about autism I could relate to while scrolling through social media, I'd brush it off as a coincidence at first but after so many times, it starts seeming like morsnthannhust a coincidence so i started doing resesrch and the more research I did, the more itd resonate with me. Started seeing a psychiatrist, got testing done, and just got an official diagnosis a few days ago. (Autism, generalized anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD). It's such a relief to hear that I was right this whole time, having an official diagnosis definitely helps with the imposter syndrome that I had when just self diagnosed.
Was diagnosed four years ago at age 8. Had no idea what it meant. It was… a journey to get to where I am today: a radical activist.
❤️
Imposter syndrome is awful! I think I'm making it up for awhile but then something will happen and I'm like...oh wow...I guess I am autistic lol.
I strongly suspected I was autistic, so after I got assessed, I went straight into woohoo! That's totally me. And now I totally love it. Of course, I got diagnosed this year at 46 years old. I'd already figured out ways to manage myself. And now autism is a special interest. I'm trying to figure out what if anything I can do to make myself more functional(my executive dysfunction is super bad, and I'm still feeling burn out from parenting and chronic pain from Ehlers Danlos). So I just got a therapist who specializes in autistics/chronic pain etc. Super happy about this.
I'm sorry you had so much struggle around it. I can understand it being a shock if you didn't suspect it. 💜
Thanks for sharing. I am 47 and figured it out when my youngest son was diagnosed. I also have already figured out ways to mostly manage myself but knowing has really helped with that as well. Have a good weekend. Also..I hear you on burnout from parenting! I have 2 kids and they both have ASD/ADHD. One thing from each parent.
@@faeriesmak my kid has both too. She made me realize I had it for sure. I'd suspected though. And she hasn't been diagnosed yet. The school is dragging its feet.
Curious about the therapist!
@@reneesolana6697 I searched on the psychology today website, and found someone who specialized in autism. I definitely have burnout issues, which is a major reason I'm seeking help.
So glad you found someone who specializes in both autism and chronic pain! Though yet to be formally diagnosed, I strongly suspect having both conditions you've mentioned, and I have a therapist that helps clients with chronic pain and autism (and ADHD!). Super helpful! Best to you on your journey to become more functional~
anyone here thought it was autistic, but found out you’re not? because I really would like to know about those experiences, I’m so confused
These stages came in a very different order for me, but I did still go through all of them.
My denial stage lasted 7 years and BRUH life is so much more livable now that I've come to terms with it
My son, 3,5 years old doesnt line up toys, doesn't walk on top toes, doesn't have stereptypics but he doesn't make eye conctact, doesn't look at me when i call him, barely do my directions, easily be distracted, and he memories all stuff. He actually start to speak at one year old asking "What's that?" and memorized all object names. This is why we didn't understand earlier his autism. He doesnt develop normal language, doesn't communicate. Confusing me all the time.
So do I just show this to my husband of 12 years and my therapist of 8 years and then just rewatch this over and over bc this is the only thing that’s ever helped me help me.
I was diagnosed yesterday at 29. Absolute perfect timing on this video thank you!
Stuck at the imposter stage as I am told that I should try a little harder, that I should stop collecting labels and the medication is doing more harm than good.
I was diagnosed when I was 4…tbh back then I thought it was great/basically thought I had superpowers🦸🏼♀️….then came the teenage years & I was in the ‘denial’ stage for like 10 years 😂 it’s good to finally accept and be happy 🥰 Love to all who are newly diagnosed, it gets better ! 💜
A couple months since and I’m still in “feeling the worst” and burnout stages and messing up my relationships even more than I was before lolll
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 16 and mask myself for a really long time, making my anxiety and depression worse! I also have really bad social anxiety but I am working on it! It was just hard growing up getting multiple diagnosis but not one them completely true! So when I got diagnosed it was a big relief! I remember my doctor who diagnose me to celebrate myself, autism, and differences and you will be okay! I always will cherish that in my heart! I am now 18 graduating high school and doing amazing! I love your videos, they help a lot! And it nice to know that I am not alone in what I am feeling!
I'm almost done with your book. When I got to the part where you pulled out the blue sticky notes, and wrote down things about yourself, and then removed all the ones you knew were not true, I started to get scared. I had to stop reading and think about aspects of my own personhood, and I started to feel overwhelmingly anxious. I realized that almost everything about myself is just something I either arbitrarily picked or copied from another person. I went to bed knowing two truths about who I am as a person.
I was diagnosed at age 3. But then my parents didn’t tell me until I was in high school. They told me I was “cured.” Now I’m diagnosed again in my 40s and I don’t know what stage I’m in. Swirling in all of them, I guess. Thanks for this amazing video, super duper easy subscribe
"I don't want to know any more things, I'm done with knowing things" oh BIG mood
Thank you :) I needed this right now. I've just had a very frustrating day at work and learned that there has been some miscommunication about my roles and responsibilities and that I haven't been doing enough in certain areas which I was previously unaware of. I guess they "tried" to tell me but being neurodivergent I need things explicitly spelled out if someone is unhappy with me. Sooo yeah that was rough, rejection sensitive dysphoria, hating my brain for essentially failing me in not behaving like neurotypical, and being terrified of having to go back into the job market again if things don't get better.
I've known about my ADHD and anxiety since age 16/17 or so but I've still always felt like something was missing. Like I wasn't seeing everything. Medication helps some and so does therapy but like there's just something....there that I can't identify and I can't quite figure out how to explain it. I've been watching this channel for a few months, and a couple of other folks who are autistic and a lot of things seem to fit for me. I had thought about going with my self-diagnosis of "hey I might have this" (I also have 2 psychology degrees so I felt like mayyybe I didn't need to go further than that knowing more about the human brain than maybe the average person?) but I think I'll bring this up to my therapist. Because I feel like the comprehension thing could be an autism thing and not an adhd thing and I'd rather know for sure, so that I can better protect myself against this sort of thing happening again. At the very least I now know that I need to be VERY upfront with people about making it clear when they are not satisfied with something I've done, they need to explicitly TELL me and not just expect that I can infer that information.
I keep coming back to watch this video every few months to see where i am on the road.
I got diagnosed at 33 out of the blue and never thought I was autistic. So I’ve felt all these !
omg as someone that was EXACTLY what i went through BEFORE actually getting diagnosed and then some stages what i’m going through now that I have been diagnosed. But at the same time it’s kinda fun and refreshing.. I finally can say I’m actually autistic.
this is very helpful....your right about the stages of grief
Got diagnosed a few weeks ago. Your videos are great and honestly I can't stop watching them
My daughter (4) Is on the spectrum, she Is the best- Paige, This is also a great message for parents. Thank you queen.
So relatable..
i just found out 2 weeks ago Im autistic. Self diagnosis after 10 years of BPD diagnosis.
Great. A new identity crisis.
i started going through these stages after my first psychologist told me she believed i might be autistic and wanted me checked. i of course denied it for a while and now its been years of research and everything, since getting checked has the longest waiting list to ever exist
Your tattoo is coming along nicely!
These stages are very relatable.
Imagine a therapist would help you get through all of those stages because they actually understood what this all means for you.
I've gotten so many diagnoses throughout my life and honestly autism was the only one where I've been so left alone in dealing with it. It's really kind of sad how there are barely any doctors, therapists etc who are educated on it.
This video makes me feel a lot of nostalgia since most of the stages are actual stages of what I have gone through in my life as an autistic boy. I am very inspired by this video and I want more Paige Layle videos. I am so proud of them.
Currently im bouncing between imposter syndrome and just total identity crisis. Because i KNOW i have adhd and I have a lot of social anxiety always have I had a lot of motor stuff as a child. But i study people SO hard and these days i will only interact with them if I've "learned" them. Learned how they talk sbd generally behave so that I know they are safe. I remember eatching everysingle "how to survive Middle School" video i possibly could the summer before middle school. In highschool my acting teacher taught us how to break down and annotate scripts and monologues where there was always an objective and obstacle and subtext for every line. And its your job to figure it out. So thats how interpret things
Lol this is exactly what I went through with my ADHD diagnosis! Now I going through it all over again with trying to get an Autism diagnosis😅🥲
Im self diagnosed because I’m femme and live in the us where health care is bs but I know I’m autistic because of research and my own self awareness and I relate so much to this I’m in tears.
This is where i feel self diagnosis and being given a diagnosis vary. If one is given a diagnosis, it's being presented by another person and might come completely out of the blue and not feel like it 'belongs' to you. Being self-diagnosed at least initially, you start at the 'research' stage and probably don't go through denial. I think this can be applied to any medical diagnosis; there are two options, either 1.) a medical professional slaps it on you out of the blue and you may well feel denial or 2.) starting with self diagnosis you get the huge relief of having confirmed something about you that you knew for a long time. One belongs to you straight out of the gate, the other you may choose whether you take on board or not
This video helped me tremendously to understand the last few weeks of my life. I was diagnosed with autism 2 weeks ago but have suspected it for over 10 years. But even though my life right now is super hard, it feels good to finally get to know myself after 35 years.
Weird how I go through stage 3 4 and 5 every single day.
I pursued a diagnosis and was relieved to have the confirmation just last week (at age 49). I'm still shifting from 'thinking' I am to 'knowing' it.
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
oh wow this is eerily relatable. I haven't been officially diagnosed but my friends who are autistic told me I was and it took me a year to go back and forth through the stages to finally get to acceptance. I think I'm on the far end of the spectrum near neurotypical because I don't have many of the traits others do, but it does explain a lot of my social behavior and how my mind works. I don't have most of the sensory issues unless I have anxiety, in which case I'm easily overstimulated and overwhelmed. I don't think I need an official diagnosis or to identify explicitly as autistic, but it is helpful to understand why I am the way I am and how I can deal with my social issues.
I really needed this video, thank you, I know it took a lot to do all the steps to put it together, but I personally really appreciate it.
This video was amazing! Perfectly described my reactions as well (early 50’s, recently diagnosed following self-diagnosis). Since each stage can bring out intense emotions, it’s very helpful to be able to say, “Oh that’s right, this is one of the stages.” Thank you for laying it out so accurately and so clearly!
I really relate to this about my ADHD diagnosis at age 31. Particularly the "Omg, that's me!" being constantly in tension with "I'm an overeducated faker." It's been close to a year. I'm getting much more comfortable with conceptualizing my brain this new way.
I was diagnosed 18 years ago; however, I have always known I was different from others since I was a little kid
Dr Obinyan on TH-cam cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰
This is so relatable and well said! The only difference for me is that instead of mourning my past self, I am working through mourning a future version of me who will never be.
More specifically, I am 25 and my closest friend is getting married and I'm watching people from high school and college get married, buy houses, and have kids, when I live in my studio apartment with my two cats and no ex or current significant other. All of these life milestones have been so hard for me to conceptualize for myself and I always felt broken because people seem to move so much faster than me. Now I know that I don't have to live up to these standards that I should never have set for myself in the first place. I can't expect to go on the same journey as everyone around me when we aren't working with the same situations and brains.
(I am not saying that autistic people are incapable of marriage, parenting, etc., but rather I speak for my situation only. They're standards I just cant meet personally.)
I FELT this… I was even in denial for a decade and I’m just struggling. I hope I can learn how to be me without forcing the persona that’s nearly killed me my whole life.
I don't know how many times I've gone back to stage two even after diagnosis. The stages after being diagnosed with autism are like a cycle, once you reach the Impostor Syndrome stage everything repeats ALL OVER AGAINNNNNNNNNNN
I literally discovered I was autistic today when I watched your video of about laughing at the weird kid.
It felt crazy because I realized that I was that weird kid and I would get laughed at so I stopped doing those things so people wouldn't laugh at me.
Then I realized I might be autistic and was shocked so I binged a bunch of videos and realized that pretty much all the stuff applies to me, I even Googled things about myself only to find out that they were autistic behaviors. I literally have had depression, HORRIBLE anxiety, OCD and ADHD. But I tried not to label myself as ADHD because I remember how another kid got teased for having it when I was younger.
Even when watching this video, I realized I've went through almost all the phases today alone. But I keep jumping back and forth.
Thank you so much for making that video, it's helped me so much. If it wasn't for that video I wouldn't me making these discoveries now ❤️🙏
This is my exact experience. It can be a whirlwind to get a new diagnosis.
When I was first diagnosed at 18 I was devastated because it ruined my self image, I wanted to be normal and that was basically confirmation that I wasn't. I denied it for a while and then slowly came to begrudgingly accept it. It's been almost a year and I'm coming around to accept it and be proud of it. Your videos have really helped me see it more positively and see it in myself and learn to love and understand my autism. Thank you so much for what you do.
I'm 13 and in my first year of high school. I got diagnosed literally 3 days ago with autism and adhd. It's weird since I never ever thought that I was autistic at ALL. It also sucks because yk being a teenager basically means that you think that ur different and weird. Now it kinda feels like that the diagnosis basically just confirmed that. Right now I feel like a lot of things make sense, but I don't think I can really talk about it to my friends. I told my closest friend and she immediately confused it with down syndrome. So I dunno, right now I feel like a bit of a freak. But ur videos make me feel less alone. And they also make me feel ok to be a bit of a freak. Thank u, ik you don't know me but you really help ❤
this video came at the right time for me validating the stage where im just high and low about everything and its scary
I was late diagnosis in my 40's, and it was the most enlightening moment of my life with stage 3 (I sorta skipped 1 & 2). So much made complete sense. Excellent video.