As an autistic early childhood educator this video hits so close to home! My cooperating teachers are baffled at how I can build rapport with the 'odd' and/or 'difficult' kids (and the pre-verbal ones). It's pretty easy to do because I felt the same as a kid and struggled in the same ways. It's a huge part of why I'm a teacher!
I remember when I was growing up (I have depression and I suspect I might have adhd and autism). My mom would clean my room for me while I was in school or out and about. I appreciate her helping me out but I would get so distressed when I couldn’t find something that she had moved. Sometimes she forgot where she moved it. Same thing with laundry she often mixed up my clothes with my brothers. I eventually started doing my own laundry. My poor mother lol.
Same i have breakdowns everytime my mom starts cleaning my room even a little bit, the worst is that it's my fault for not cleaning it and she can't bear seeing it like that but it's so hard for me to clean my room i probably have executive function issues
Lol. I hope my mom sees this comment, cause it is all too relatable. She cleaned my room maybe 5 times, cause I think by the 5th time she got that her desire to keep her house clean and organized was not worth the meltdown and inevitable shutdown that followed. She is allowed to do my dishes though when she comes over now!! Cause screw the dishes lol. Win-win there
omg what? is this an asd thing??? i used to cry bc my mom hates “loose paper” and would buy me countless sketchbooks but i insisted on using printer paper and then having a full on meltdown when she’d move it or organize it 🥴
I remember being 18, attending a dance class, and the instructor was talking about me like I was a person with some sort of “special need.” She would notice and comment on my rhythm/musicality like I was some sort of a freak. At the end of the course, she came up to me and proceeded to give me tips on how to integrate the hemispheres of my brain through moving opposing sides of my body to the other side. I just looked at her perplexed, thinking she must think I am intellectually impaired. She was the first person to make a comment about my brain to me. It amazes me that through all of school, nobody seemed to notice or care.
During recess I would literally just walk around, daydream and fidget... And I got made fun of a bunch of times for it. I also hated fire drills because the sound was too loud and abrupt... and when I finally mentioned it to the schools they either let me stay home or go outside ahead of time. I was fine with lockdowns, though, because they weren't loud and abrupt.
Omg yes I HATE fire drills already that I have a big phobia of my house burning down and stuff, fire drills scared me so much. Now it’s more about the sound, the alarms are so loud and there are people everywhere…
Same here. Except, I would pace back and forth and daydream. When my school allowed the class to listen to their music players during class, it was a dream come true, haha. My ear buds cancelled-out any noise, and I paced in the beginning of gym class. The teachers thought my pacing was rather strange, but they figured, at least I was physically active and not sitting down. Fire drills were the worst! They're loud, abrupt, and the worst part was that the alarm got louder as the class would walk down the hallway. Since I have spastic hemiplegia, an abrupt noise can cause my left side to spaz-out, heh.
Brilliant video. So much of this resonated with me. Yes, there are differences, but I went through this point by point and, when it was finished, I checked my list. This is it: 1 - hyperlexic ( was reading books about physics at infants school - my mother told me to stop, and to read fiction instead. Since it was an order, I did). 2 - lonely as hell - making friends was impossible. Other kids were like dodgems: they'd encounter me and ricochet away. 3 - terrible at team sports (clumsy, not wanted, constant mistakes). I scored one goal in football in six years, and that was a deflection. 4 - terrible communicator - much better in written form, hopeless at analysis. When I went to university, I lasted one semester in literature before I switched to history. 5 - Repetition - clothes, sandwiches, job; everything. I've been in this cycle for 54 years. 6 - Change is bad. actually, change is just baffling. Why would I want to do anything different? Different is unknown, and unknown is beyond my control. 7 - nope 8 - YES YES YES
I agree with almost everything she says, and being Chinese American is even tougher. My parents never even thought of mental illnesses, psychological disorders, or mental breakdowns. They thought it was fantastic that I started reading so early. Not Having friends was not the end of the world for them. Studying, studying, and studying. That was it. My school years lasted far too long for me. I never bonded that deeply with others, although I did have a few acquaintances. My communication skills were almost nonexistent. I remember my 6th grade teaching telling my mother I would never make it through high school. Well, I did make it through. College was a lot more lenient. I actually made a few friends although, again, it seems not very deeply. Never had a best friend, had 2 relationships my entire 48 years. Life is still tough, and my mother recently admitted I had some autistic tendencies.
In elementary school my family discovered that I was able to tell you what day of the week a certain day in history fell on and I was basically turned into a spectacle because of it. Turned out this is a pretty common autism thing.
Do you know how you figure it out? I'm autistic and always wondered what the algorithm was that people who do this use since 7 days in a week and figuring out how many days ago that date was divided by 7 and using the remainder to identify the day of the week from the present seems like it takes more than just a moment so probably a different algorithm...nobody has been able to tell me lol
@@natalieedelstein Oh I can figure out what day it was up to like two weeks ago/forward, if it’s more then that I do need my phone. Like say it’s the 27 may like today and you need to know which day in the week the 6 June is I just think: today is Friday and 27 May, tomorrow is Saturday and 28 May and just go on like that. Eventually you forget where you are but it works if it’s in the near future/past. The 6 June is a Monday btw.
@@natalieedelstein My algorithm is that the pattern repeats every 28 years, which makes sense because 7 days a week, leap year every 4 years. That means that today (May 27, 2022) is Friday, and therefore May 27, 1994 was a Friday and May 27, 2050 will be a Friday.
@@thetonytaye thanks for the clarification. I guess how do you keep track though...like say today is Friday May 27 and I asked you 19 years ago on Jan 18 what that day of the week was how do you do something like that? I've seen random people know things like that in 3 seconds. I find that so fascinating. Your algorithm makes perfect sense though for mental math if I am given something reasonably close to today and reasonably close to a multiple of that 28 year mark.
🤦 You're telling me that's why team sports are so hard. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ BODY LANGUAGE?!?! The sweater and shoe repeating and the hair parting are also things I have always done. Also I have also struggled so much with sharing but that's something people don't really talk about and I've always felt like it was my own moral flaw.
DUDE OMG i did literally all of these as a kid, even down to the hair thing (!!) I'm almost 19 years old now and I only found out I'm autistic about a month ago or so. It really baffles me how no one has ever noticed - not my teachers, not my family, not even myself. People, especially teachers, really should be more informed on neurodiversity and how to spot it. It literally saves lives. So, tysm Paige for making these videos and spreading more awareness! Wishing you all the best
Always have been outraged (which is why I left the profession) at the feigned ignorance so many teachers practice when it comes to student happiness and social interactions. You deserved better! So many teachers “missed” the signs my daughter was neurodivergent, and dismissed any questions I did have about her functioning in the classroom.
I could read really well and spell if I am writing words down but I couldn't comprehend what I was reading and couldn't and still can't understand what a lot of fancy words mean, I constantly have to look up words to understand what they mean.
i was able to “decode” very advanced texts from a young age, but i didn’t have the life experience to understand the context of the higher level books, so i was level J or so at the end of kindergarten
Oh girl. I feel that statement about finding other kids/people boring. I always say if people can't get deep with me, I don't want them in my life. I'm not proud, but that's how I feel. It stems from me feeling misunderstood, not that other's are boring.
I am a mother of two, a daughter who is 10 and a son who is 8, my son is currently getting tested for autism after a long battle with the school district who kept refusing to listen or help. As of now all we know is he's low on the spectrum but should know more soon. Wanted to thank you for spreading awareness so others can notice certain signs and get the help the kid(s) may need. My family and I truly care and appreciate all you have done and continue to do. Thank you!
Thanks for your videos, Paige! I relate to so much of this and have recently self-diagnosed with ASD. I also grew up in Ontario (and went to McMaster) and all of my traits were completely missed by the school system as well... It's hard not to be resentful about how much less suffering I might have had, if someone had just noticed me. It seems like there's a number of us (especially females) who continue to struggle because we never got the help we so desperately needed... I'm grateful I've finally learned this about myself, thanks to people like you who make these videos! :)
i’m not autistic (adhd gang) but during public school i was left out a lot. i think a big problem is that kids are so concerned with being “cool” that they don’t care if they tear other kids down in order to keep their status. some teachers need to do a better job of not allowing cliques to form
Paige thank you so much for always being so open and sharing your experiences and thoughts. You just described two of my children so well in their video and their school experiences. As a mother I was constantly talking to everyone to get help and I could so plainly see these things but time and again I was put off or given "their professional advice " and lost again in the search for help. Then BAM stumbled on Autism diagnosis list and it's so blazingly obvious it was Autism all along. One diagnosis down one waiting to hear back from. But my daughters and my experiences with school have left so many scars. I home educate them now. Your videos have been a massive encouragement and support ❤️
Oh my god I resonate with a lot of stuff! I also hate people touching my stuff and move my things around, and I can spot the changes very easily. I didn’t know it is an autistic thing until now. I also wear the same shoes all the time. Do other people change their shoes every day? How?😅 Also, after knowing more about autism, I believe depression and anxiety just come with autism due to the society we live in. You have to be super super lucky to grow up without getting depressed and without any trauma, which is almost impossible. I hope more people could know more about autism and not just those stereotypes.
I had such a hard time growing up undiagnosed but I feel like my family would have put me in ABA and done whatever backwards outside view the doctors had to "help" me. I was sort of diagnosed at 17 (in 2003), the doctor said something like "she could be a weird version of autistic, or she could be schizotypal" and I don't think anyone else thought I was in any way schizotypal. It's interesting that you have such faith that an early diagnosis and support would have been better. I love your videos and your insights. keep bein awesome.
Literally was just looking over my college papers and stuff today, and ALL of the comments my public speaking professors made on my speeches were about what I now know to be autistic traits. I didn’t smile enough, didn’t make enough eye contact, didn’t have enough variety in tone and facial expressions, didn’t have enough gestures or my gestures were awkward, etc. And I remember getting SO frustrated because I had NO idea what he was talking about or how to fix it. Ugh. Also, I info-dumped about Tolkien and linguistics (my special interests) every chance I got; most of my speeches and several of my papers referenced those topics. And somehow NO ONE ever realized???
I’m about to start teacher’s college and this is SO HELPFUL! I think all teachers should at least be aware of the signs so they can approach a struggling child with some level of understanding. Hoping I can be a more proactive teacher after watching videos like yours 💕
I felt this so hard. I was always the kid that never really had friends, always got made fun of, and as an adult, there is no way that the adults in my life didn't see that I was different. I see most of these signs from these videos in myself and wonder how they didn't make the connection. I didn't even consider it a possibility until my own child showed signs of autism and now I'm 22 working on autism diagnosis for the both of us. I've done tons of research for the past year and a half since seeing the signs in my son and people still tell me that I'm being ridiculous or ask why I want autism. We have a few autistic and suspected autistic people in our families so it just makes sense.
I've been emitting these signs for a very long time now, and I have been curious what they meant. I always knew that I was different, from the looks they'd give me in the hallway to straight up being bullied by others. This video has helped me realize my autism as I have all 8 signs. It's all so clear now. Thank you!!!
The hair thing was so me as a kid! Every piano lesson before I could start I HAD to get my hair back. I would put it in a pony or (since it was long) twirl it and stuff it in the back of my shirt. It HAD to be out of my face and off my ears or the stimulus would irritate me. At the time I had no idea I was doing it, but then I caught my teacher purposely waiting for me to put it up before we could start. Lol. I’ve since been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, but I didn’t put it together with the hair thing until you mentioned it. 😂
The hair thing at the beginning!!! I was thinking about it recently, looking back on my childhood. At first I thought ocd, but I remember hating the feeling of it just free flowing on my back. You're the only other person I have seen do this. Other people will have hair in the front on each side, but it's not exact. They will still have hair in the back, and the hair in the front isn't separated from the back, so there's this weird transition of hair on the shoulders. It made me uncomfortable seeing other people have their hair like that. Haha!
Also, in elementary school, I tended to stick with one activity at recess every day. Like just swing for the first few years, and then rest of elementary school I would only play tetherball. It was rare that I would play anything else, and if I did, I was highly uncomfortable and felt like I was missing something.
It's so interesting because I think in my school in Austria everyone with long hair did it, I also did it and I'm not autistic. I guess I did it because it made my hair look fuller in the front? So absolutely not weird or out of the ordinary and least of all things something you should be made fun of about.
@@tina9866 I understand. Thank you for clarifying though! I will say it was more sensory for me, which is why I tie it to autism (I currently have many other things on my list). Also pretty compulsive. I agree, that trait alone doesn't make one autistic. 😊 It is interesting to know that it was more common around you. I never noticed anyone around me do it, and I was constantly observing people around me. Haha!
Younger me legitimately used to stay in at break and sharpen the pencils because I was too afraid to have to play football. Older me would fearlessly now use said sharpened pencil on the stupid ball making it abundantly clear I don't do football or hugs but that's a whole different topic...
Ah! I also had a crazy reading level at a young age. I wasn’t allowed to participate in normal “reading” class in grade school. What I had to do instead was read chapter books on my own and then write papers about them.
This video made me feel the past that I have gone through in my life at school. Almost every aspect of the video reminded me of my own school life. Well done, Paige!
Hi, Paige! I was recording an audio to my friend and remembered my struggle with flirting 🤣 as an autistic person diagnosed with 24 years old. I just didn't get the body language AT ALL! To the point i thought people read each other's mind 😳. Or i was aro or ace. Anyways, maybe it's an interesting autistic topic if you struggle with that. I would feel validated if there was a video about it 🖤
additionally, I came home one day and my roommate and another person were sitting in the living room and could not understand when I asked them to get out of MY chair. it was my grounding space. Also, I had another roommate who put the hood of his car (long story) in my cosplay room without my permission. When I discovered it, I had a panic/anxiety attack(still learning the difference) because he didn't have permission to go in there. That was MY space, my safe space, that not even my dogs were allowed in and he had violated that. I was so overwhelmed by frustration and anger. And it's even more frustrating when they happen because to someone who knows nothing about me and knows nothing about Autism and anxiety, a stranger looking in, it looks like I am throwing a tantrum. I hate it. but that is also why I so greatly appreciate the true friends I have made and my boyfriend, because they understand and help me through them. Another time I was driving a uhaul halfway across the country using GPS on my phone and missed my exit due to road construction, and then had to drive through miles of narrow roadway with concrete dividers on one side and metal posts on the other and the weather made it increasingly difficult, that when I finally was able to exit, I was bawling and had to call someone to talk me down and walk me through the "5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch...etc."
In school I had so many signs. I was taken out before I finished first grade and was homeschooled. We said I have ADD but I might have both that and autism. Also thank you for your information. I found out that I have autism because of your channel. I owe you so much ❤
I’m so sorry to hear this-I thought things were better for your generation, but sounds exactly like mine 30 years earlier. They still don’t care. Thank you for talking about it. Stay strong 💪🏼
i relate to a lot of these. got diagnosed when i was 12, in 7th grade. the only thing i dont relate to is not good at english bc the teachers were always impressed
Despite ADD and Autism being very similar and over lapping, you convince me more and more that I'm not autistic, just ADD. However! Now my half sister not sharing her art supplies makes so much sense! Thanks Paige:)
I just found your channel and am enjoying going through your videos. 😊 I am 25 years old (f) and was just diagnosed with autism last year at age 24. It’s been life changing. Looking back it has always been SO OBVIOUS that I’m autistic!! I too feel sad thinking about the 24+ years I spent knowing that something was wrong with me (and being told that) but never knowing what. Now that I do know what’s wrong with me, I realized that nothing is wrong with me. Finding this community of young autistic women and learning about and embracing and loving myself has been life changing. Thank you for being a part of that. 🥹 -a new subscriber with the ‘tism (what I jokingly call it sometimes lol)
I’m 45 and I still can’t share. I hide things so nobody else will touch them, even food and drinks. I lose it if anyone touches my stuff or if they put their things in my space.
I actually am kind of glad no one realised I was autistic when I was younger. I feel like I didn’t get some of the baggage around autism (don’t get me wrong I still have a heaping load of internalised ableism buuuuut). Like you said, I was “just weird” and everyone just kinda went with it, and somewhere early on I just decided weird was a good thing to be and never took it as an insult. To this day I’m still startled when someone’s like “noooo don’t call yourself weird, you’re great!” I’m like “…I know. I’m great because I’m weird. What’s wrong with you.”
your sweet ending made me cry, I love you Paige, you inspire me deeply, and I could NOT imagine a world without you in it! inspiring and educating so many
I was hyperlexic but nobody noticed even though I read the reading material in 10 minutes and was reading adult novels when I should not have been able to. The teachers wouldn’t believe that I had read the material even though I could answer all of the questions at the end correctly. They would always say to go back and read it again. You could not have read it already. This went on for years. I did the hair splitting thing as well. I didn’t realize that it was not normal until you pointed it out in this video.
In middle school I got this one mechanical pencil that I really liked. It was sturdy was a comfortable width and had a thin little metal tip that I liked. I never let anyone borrow it. In fact, I always had a bunch of other pencils that I didn't care about because I had them just to give to people asking for a pencil. But if someone tried to steal my special pencil, I'd use the tip to make them regret doing so (I never made anyone bleed. I just jabbed them hard enough for it to hurt). I also liked to "clean" my nails with mechanical pencil graphite (now that I know I'm autistic, I'm realizing that was probably a stim of mine), and that metal tip on my pencil was nice because it worked better than the graphite, for obvious reasons. I LOVE that pencil. Whenever I misplaced it, I freaked out and turned everything upside down to find it, and ultimately I took very good care of it, because I still have it today, and I've been out of high school for about six years now. Also people seemed to like me throughout school. I know they thought I was weird because they would occasionally comment on things I did, but they would talk to me and clearly enjoy doing so; and as far as I could tell, I was never really bullied, but I may simply not have cared enough to notice if anyone actually tried to bully me... and also resulting in them not proceeding with it because I didn't give them a reaction.
4:48 SAME I hate team sports because I don’t want to be the one who messes up for everyone. I swim, do cross country, and track and have never done anything else 😂
I want to thank you, because you gave me a glass shattering moment. I went to a small school, and so I would do well in "team" sports, there was 8 kids in my class, but as soon as we went to compete it was like I froze, i lost all my spacial awarness. And it was just being autistic. I did not realize that. I knew i lack spacial awarness, but never put it to that memory. I always thought I was brocken. But it was just the sensory overload from the loud crowd and lack of pradictability. I could high jump like a boss. But make me do it around too many people I forget how to do it. This was so helpfull.
When speaking about English class I had the opposite issue I was so fascinated by why it was written that way and what it meant. So I payed a bit less attention to spelling and such. My reading comprehension and creative writing was above average however spelling and grammar are my nemesis
I'm watching this because while I relate to most of this, I want to be aware for future students. All of this seems really normal to me and with my own kids (I wear the same shoes all year and my kids wear the same 2-3 outfits all year. I have about 5 because I'm an adult), so maybe I will notice these things rather than just thinking, "this kid is particularly awesome".
1. Idk what my reading lvl was before the 6th grade exactly, but it was always higher than my current grade for sure, but at 6th grade, when we were testing our reading lvls, I had a 12th grade reading lvl. I went through the entire science fiction/fantasy section of our in-school library(school libraries are/were actually kind of rare in the rural area I live in) a couple of times I’m pretty sure.
The shoes and sweater thing, yup. I recently lost mine for this year so I just wear one I don't like or don't wear one. Also my shoes have holes because I refuse to get new ones so I just buy the same pair over and over again
I've been making a list in my phone of thing that I think I do because of ADHD to take to my assessment in hopefully less than a year. And I remembered some things, like in first grade I remember my desk was messy af and I couldn't even close properly it even tho I had the same amount of books as everyone else, that's how unorganised it was. I also used to carry way too many books in my backpack cuz I'd just forget that I didn't need them but also my backpack was kind of a secondary storage unit cuz my desk was so full already. I never left books at home cuz I knew it would be very easy to just forget them there. In maths we had a system where our assistant teacher would tag the incorrect answers in our maths excercises and tag that in the book for us to correct our mistakes. Most people just corrected those immediately but mine just piled up to the point where one evening I had to sit for like an hour correcting almost half my maths book, so months worth of corrections. I'd quite often had to stay back and do my homework after school after failing to do it at home due to first executive dysfunction problems but then forgetting about it. During a thing where the teacher gave feedback to my parents which we do in Finland, the teacher commented that I always take the easy way out of an exercise, which I still do but I like to call it efficiency :D I've always daydreamt, I've always fidgeted often in the form of ripping my nails or fidgeting with a pencil or tapping the desk or doing weird things with my mouth that other people often commented about. I always finished last in woodwork or sewing cuz I was talking to other people and often my work was a bit sloppy cuz I tried to do something quickly as opposed to well. My mum's called me lazy and irresponsible but lately she's kinda seen how stressed I am after I neglect paying bills or forget to pay rent (wait imma pay my rent now brb) (ok im done with that now) and she's offered to help with remembering these things and trying to get me into a routine of checking what unpaid bills I have every for example tuesday, so that's nice. Anyway point being I've always been different and I've always felt different but no one ever made any effort to find out why that might be, or they just attributed it to my hearing disability which idk how they thought that would explain my forgetfulness but oh well. And now when I've made an effort to myself get an assessment after realising that ADHD would explain almost all of my differences my dad basically told me that "okay sure do the assessment but it's not gonna change anything you still have to learn to live with it" and that makes me so mad cuz I. am. struggling. and I feel like getting an assessment and a diagnosis can open doors for kinds of help like medication that you can't get without a diagnosis. Or I mean you can but not legally. This was a long comment god I'm so rambly whoopsie😅😅😅😅
I relate so much to the gym class stuff. Honestly, I didn't even think about the fact that people usually have body language that tells other people whether or not they want the ball or some stuff like that. I tried to do what I *thought* was the right body language, like jumping up and down and stuff and excessively eyeing the person with the ball. For some reason, I've never liked using my arms for body language and stuff like that, so I was probably just jumping up and down on the field. Then my teacher would tell me to "literally just call out to the other kids" but I've never been very good at raising my voice and I don't like it either. Needless to say, I got yelled at more than once for not participating enough.
It's weird, with you talking about hyperlexia, I related to a lot of that, although I have dyslexia and was at a lower reading level. I was however very gifted in speech, I would often try to use words I couldn't even pronounce yet because I was 3 trying to say "positive" which became "posinated" and CO2 which I would say "carbon dinoxide" lol I wonder if there's like a variant of hyperlexia for speech and vocabulary, but not for reading. I often found I had to dumb down my speech so the other kids (and some teachers) would be able to keep up, it was so frustrating and I love now that I'm an adult I can speak however I want to and people generally understand. I'm autistic and wasn't diagnosed until I was like 22 years old, so I relate to a ton in this video!
I also get anxiety over people borrowing things and sometimes am paranoid about people stealing my things because I had my hat stolen at school one time and to this day, I have a hard time trusting people.
I remember having a teacher who wanted to discuss symbolism and I was totally lost. Like, when studying Lord Of The Flies, and how the smashing of the conch symbolized the end of democracy.
I think I related to just about every thing you mentioned in this video. I am hoping to get an autism diagnosis soon and hope that understanding myself will really help me understand kids who are 'different' or 'weird' at school when I become a teacher, so that they can get the support that they need, unlike the lack of support I received as a child because I was just seen as 'gifted'
Whole video was very relatable. I legit dumb myself down to whoever I am talking to, except my family and my S.O., so much to the point that whenever I do engage in the intellectual conversation people are thrown off guard. When I get my psych exam done after I move back to where my main docs are, I’m not going to tell them about any of my previous Diagnosis. I want to see what they come up with on their own and no outside information, despite having had the ADHD diagnosis in HS because my mom was finally allowed to have me tested.
They sat my desk facing the wall in the corner bc I corrected the teacher. Oh, and bc I had trouble the first year we had to change classrooms, they made me push my desk from class to class. The whole damn *wooden and metal* thing.... and they made me leave class 5 mins early to do so. So EVERYONE IN EVERY CLASS COULD WATCH ME STRUGGLE DOWN THE HALLWAY. School was a NIGHTMARE. I was bored by the childish things we were given to do in primary school. I eventually just stopped working altogether and read my own book through every class. And because no one CARED enough to speak up, I failed everything. I changed to a 3 hour alternative school (still got regular HS diploma not GED) and they cut out lunch, gym, study hall, AND electives. They handed you the workbook, the tests and at the end, you took the big test to change subjects and/or grades- yourself. I graduated with honors and NO ONE TOUCHED MY STUFF.
on the note of sharing- i just realized that at a certain point in my life i began to carry around extras of stuff, like i would have my favorite pencils and then throw a shitty extra one in my bag, so then i could “share” but in reality i just had things i planned to simply end up giving to other people so my actual stuff wouldn’t be touched. i have a section of clothes i don’t actually wear that i can offer to people. so interesting
I’m so thankful to you. My younger brother has autism and your videos are a great help to me so that I can be there for my brother and help him when things get hard for him 💖
Okay wow, my experiences in school were so incredibly similar to yours! I still don't get how nobody saw it, in fact I had to find out myself and push for a diagnosis, cause nobody would believe me. Eventually I got diagnosed at 17. I'm 19 now and my life has gotten a lot easier thanks to the diagnosis, but I can't help but think that I'd be happier now, had I been diagnosed earlier. For 17 years I pushed myself deeper and deeper into burnout, just because I thought it was all my fault and I had no support whatsoever. Still, I consider myself lucky that I even did find out
3. Yesss omgg I have always been very active but It's Always been dance,yudo,tennis,running etc so solo sports. Also I was born premature and always had problems with spatial awerness,balance etc and just assumed it was because of me being premature
For the reading and ELA stuff, I LOVE reading I am so bad at spelling spell check can’t even understand me sometimes! I always have to rewrite my sentences because I can’t spell some word in it. I did also have the “what does this mean” stuff. I am kinda diagnosed with autism (I got diagnosed with autistic behaviors, but I kinda just said, I have all the behaviors I was only with this person with two days so yeah)
You literally just described my child and I am so sick of people telling me "she's fine" and "she's not suffering enough to be diagnosed with autism"! I have an autism diagnosis and I was a teacher, but everyone keeps dismissing me when I tell them my concerns! I think I'm going to show this to the pediatrician when she finally gets in to see him because I really cannot handle one more person telling me my child is fine when she's already struggling so much with other kids (she's 5).
My school was so small it was one class per year group and they just sent me to the older kids class for reading time I always got teased for it I hated it
I’m an actively curious to hear your opinion on the brain atism think btw. Day 10 Still watching the video i hated seating changes ate the same lunch every day once I found the perfect lunch and wore the same shoes because I liked them. I was the exact opposite with that type of stuff, always brought extra pencils and such , I was like that’s really cheap runs, a pencil, your find those on the ground and shit.
I always had trouble with the team sports thing, and I had no idea that it could have been autism. I always thought it was just hard because I wasn't friends with everyone else because they were all just so different from me. I didn't understand them and they never tried to understand me. Didn't pay attention to me. Never got the ball or frisbee thrown to me. I just stopped playing after years of wanting to be included. Then people asked me why I didn't play, and I wasn't about to explain everything and start crying in front of everyone, so I just smiled firmly and said plainly that I just didn't want to play. This social construct is the reason that I no longer attend my young adult's group at my church.
i remember white fang at like age 6. Is that too early? LOL. I was bored shitless in school. Then because i was so bored I would cut papers up at my desk.. #fallingasleep. Have you ever done fencing? I love it.
Thinking about how once I got older I would get special pencils for myself and then a bulk pack to keep with me to give to people so I didn’t meltdown if it got lost
Another universal feature I would suggest from my own autistic experience and now as a special needs educator is with regard to transitions, i.e. moving from one activity or environment to another especially if it is unplanned or without prior knowledge. Causes emotional responses not consistently seen in neurotypicals.
I don’t know if I’m autistic but I have traits, and in primary school at age 5/6 I was reading chapter books and everyone else was on the little baby book things. They just put me up to the highest level of baby books basically but I stayed there for years because by the time we got up to reading actual books I had been reading in my head for years which is much faster than reading aloud and my mouth couldn’t keep up with my brain and I kept tripping over words so they never put me up until one day I was like I’m sick of this, I can read, please let me prove it (even though I was reading a giant book called Eragon on breaks) and I picked up the most difficult book I could find and read to the reading person, and she was like ok what does x long word mean and I explained and she was like oh shit let’s put you up, and I was just like FINALLYYY
#4 is so funny to me because I was the top of my class in every subject, including English. I was constantly praised for my communication skills, especially in writing. But I also thought Animal Farm was just a fantasy about evil dictator piggies and had no idea it was an allegory for the USSR and communism. "What does this mean?" Hell if I know, I'm just here to correct everyone on how to use a semicolon properly.
The only friend I had was autistic and the other one was using me and I didn’t realise it until I was way older I also ate the same lunch and breakfast until my mom decided it was unhealthy and forbid me from doing so. Hell.
I remember there were several times in school I legitimately could not focus if there were any noises present at all. And I'd ask to stay in the classroom during break to do my work bc them I wouldn't have to deal with the noises.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 27, but I had both done multiple research projects/ papers on Autism in high school and college, and I worked with a child who was diagnosed while I worked with him(I recognized the signs in him before he was diagnosed) so I recognized I was Autistic before I was diagnosed.
Lmaooo!! Number 7 is soooo me 🤣🤣 I’m still like this yet I’m an adult now so I feel bad for not wanting to share or loan out my things. I was also an exceptional reader in elementary school. I remember my teacher telling my mom I was reading at a 12th grade level in grade 4. I could also spell words without studying for the spelling tests. I showed up to my new school and the teacher goes “You don’t have to take this if you don’t want since you just got here” but I took it anyway and got 100%, this was 1st grade 🙃. My 3rd grade teacher wanted to skip me to 5th grade because I was “so smart” but my mom didn’t want that so it didn’t happen. And recess SUCKED because I was always by myself. I didn’t even approach my friends because it felt wrong so I would wait for them to come get me or tell me to sit with them. Anyway, my point is I relate to this video so much. I’m 28 now and keep being told by professionals that Autism is a childhood disorder so…. I’m not sure what to do now 🥲
Sth like 6 and a half of the covered points apply to me + there are many signs outside of the list. Still no diagnosis... Even though I'm older than you. My parents said that there was this one doctor I don't remember whom I've visited as a child because they knew something was up, but said doctor was like 'nah, she's good'. Still don't think that I am neurotypical and my mother also shares my doubts. Right now it's just about closure, which I do not really care that much about, but a proper diagnosis would've helped me better understand myself all the years ago, back when it was so medievalish over there that I was led to believe that autism is a term reserved to non-verbal kids etc. As for your list; 1. My parents taught me how to read before I went to school and I was exceptionally good at it. When I went to school (at 6), I was one of the only kids there who were already capable of reading and after the first year I was one of the only (if not only) kids in there who were capable of writing to some extent. In the following three years, I've stated multiple times to my parents that I wished to jump a grade or two ahead, but they refused. 2. Just rel. 3. Very much rel. It always stressed me out unbelievably (I've had some extra issues with PE in general as well, but that's another topic). Team sports suck; I was always grateful when the teacher just let me run laps instead of participating in them. 4. My essays were good, too, but I distinctly remember when we've had to answer some questions about someone else's essay about a theater play and it totally went over my head that the praise of said play was just irony and that the author despised it. This, plus multiple instances of 'the author has already said what they wanted to say, why are we reading into it so much?'. 5. That's the point that I don't really relate to. The main repetitive thing for me was my diet and my clothes, but that's about it. 6. This, like the previous one, I only partially realate to, hence the half. I know that change is weird, but I kinda anticipate it. I took my opportunities to switch things up and I liked having supply teachers teach us for a change. This being said, changes were hard if I had to make a decision of any sorts, so stuff like seating changes made me feel confused, a bit stressed out and waiting for someone to either invite me over to their desk or to tell me where I was supposed to sit. 7. VERY MUCH REL. I was always wary about my stuff and constantly checking if everything is in its place (I still do that, having a bag when I'm amidst others makes me feel like I have to be next to that bag at all times). When we were having our in-school medical check-ups, I took my backpack with me to the nurse's room because I was genuinely afraid of leaving my stuff with my classmates. 8. Yeah, that's just a part of the deal, unfortunately :/
As an autistic early childhood educator this video hits so close to home! My cooperating teachers are baffled at how I can build rapport with the 'odd' and/or 'difficult' kids (and the pre-verbal ones). It's pretty easy to do because I felt the same as a kid and struggled in the same ways. It's a huge part of why I'm a teacher!
Thank you for everything you do!!
You sound like a wonderful teacher!
Your being in this world gives me hope for a better one
❤❤❤
Thanks for being such an amazing human being
I remember when I was growing up (I have depression and I suspect I might have adhd and autism). My mom would clean my room for me while I was in school or out and about. I appreciate her helping me out but I would get so distressed when I couldn’t find something that she had moved. Sometimes she forgot where she moved it. Same thing with laundry she often mixed up my clothes with my brothers. I eventually started doing my own laundry. My poor mother lol.
Same i have breakdowns everytime my mom starts cleaning my room even a little bit, the worst is that it's my fault for not cleaning it and she can't bear seeing it like that but it's so hard for me to clean my room i probably have executive function issues
Same! I also can’t keep my room tidy and organized so I’ll have to let my mom clean it sometimes. I appreciate it but it’s so annoying 😢
Lol. I hope my mom sees this comment, cause it is all too relatable. She cleaned my room maybe 5 times, cause I think by the 5th time she got that her desire to keep her house clean and organized was not worth the meltdown and inevitable shutdown that followed.
She is allowed to do my dishes though when she comes over now!! Cause screw the dishes lol. Win-win there
omg what? is this an asd thing??? i used to cry bc my mom hates “loose paper” and would buy me countless sketchbooks but i insisted on using printer paper and then having a full on meltdown when she’d move it or organize it 🥴
@@realpaigelayle I think you might find this interesting Paige Layle. The Autistic Neanderthal Theory th-cam.com/video/hxxGiM-uGx4/w-d-xo.html
I remember being 18, attending a dance class, and the instructor was talking about me like I was a person with some sort of “special need.” She would notice and comment on my rhythm/musicality like I was some sort of a freak. At the end of the course, she came up to me and proceeded to give me tips on how to integrate the hemispheres of my brain through moving opposing sides of my body to the other side. I just looked at her perplexed, thinking she must think I am intellectually impaired. She was the first person to make a comment about my brain to me. It amazes me that through all of school, nobody seemed to notice or care.
During recess I would literally just walk around, daydream and fidget... And I got made fun of a bunch of times for it. I also hated fire drills because the sound was too loud and abrupt... and when I finally mentioned it to the schools they either let me stay home or go outside ahead of time. I was fine with lockdowns, though, because they weren't loud and abrupt.
yeah i had a kick me sign stuck on me multiple times by some brats... one of which i had to drop kick then that stopped....
at my school they play a siren during the entire lockdown drill and they also don’t tell us in advance
Omg yes I HATE fire drills
already that I have a big phobia of my house burning down and stuff, fire drills scared me so much.
Now it’s more about the sound, the alarms are so loud and there are people everywhere…
Same here. Except, I would pace back and forth and daydream. When my school allowed the class to listen to their music players during class, it was a dream come true, haha. My ear buds cancelled-out any noise, and I paced in the beginning of gym class. The teachers thought my pacing was rather strange, but they figured, at least I was physically active and not sitting down.
Fire drills were the worst! They're loud, abrupt, and the worst part was that the alarm got louder as the class would walk down the hallway. Since I have spastic hemiplegia, an abrupt noise can cause my left side to spaz-out, heh.
@@sandpiper_ that sounds horrible... :0. Some annoying person set off our school fire alarm and I ran out as fast as possible it was so awful.
Brilliant video. So much of this resonated with me. Yes, there are differences, but I went through this point by point and, when it was finished, I checked my list. This is it:
1 - hyperlexic ( was reading books about physics at infants school - my mother told me to stop, and to read fiction instead. Since it was an order, I did).
2 - lonely as hell - making friends was impossible. Other kids were like dodgems: they'd encounter me and ricochet away.
3 - terrible at team sports (clumsy, not wanted, constant mistakes). I scored one goal in football in six years, and that was a deflection.
4 - terrible communicator - much better in written form, hopeless at analysis. When I went to university, I lasted one semester in literature before I switched to history.
5 - Repetition - clothes, sandwiches, job; everything. I've been in this cycle for 54 years.
6 - Change is bad. actually, change is just baffling. Why would I want to do anything different? Different is unknown, and unknown is beyond my control.
7 - nope
8 - YES YES YES
I agree with almost everything she says, and being Chinese American is even tougher. My parents never even thought of mental illnesses, psychological disorders, or mental breakdowns. They thought it was fantastic that I started reading so early. Not Having friends was not the end of the world for them. Studying, studying, and studying. That was it. My school years lasted far too long for me. I never bonded that deeply with others, although I did have a few acquaintances. My communication skills were almost nonexistent. I remember my 6th grade teaching telling my mother I would never make it through high school. Well, I did make it through. College was a lot more lenient. I actually made a few friends although, again, it seems not very deeply. Never had a best friend, had 2 relationships my entire 48 years. Life is still tough, and my mother recently admitted I had some autistic tendencies.
In elementary school my family discovered that I was able to tell you what day of the week a certain day in history fell on and I was basically turned into a spectacle because of it. Turned out this is a pretty common autism thing.
Wait that's so cool! I can't even tell what date it's going to be in 5 days, I have to stop and think for a moment or even check my phone lmao.
Do you know how you figure it out? I'm autistic and always wondered what the algorithm was that people who do this use since 7 days in a week and figuring out how many days ago that date was divided by 7 and using the remainder to identify the day of the week from the present seems like it takes more than just a moment so probably a different algorithm...nobody has been able to tell me lol
@@natalieedelstein Oh I can figure out what day it was up to like two weeks ago/forward, if it’s more then that I do need my phone. Like say it’s the 27 may like today and you need to know which day in the week the 6 June is I just think: today is Friday and 27 May, tomorrow is Saturday and 28 May and just go on like that. Eventually you forget where you are but it works if it’s in the near future/past. The 6 June is a Monday btw.
@@natalieedelstein
My algorithm is that the pattern repeats every 28 years, which makes sense because 7 days a week, leap year every 4 years. That means that today (May 27, 2022) is Friday, and therefore May 27, 1994 was a Friday and May 27, 2050 will be a Friday.
@@thetonytaye thanks for the clarification. I guess how do you keep track though...like say today is Friday May 27 and I asked you 19 years ago on Jan 18 what that day of the week was how do you do something like that? I've seen random people know things like that in 3 seconds. I find that so fascinating. Your algorithm makes perfect sense though for mental math if I am given something reasonably close to today and reasonably close to a multiple of that 28 year mark.
🤦 You're telling me that's why team sports are so hard. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ BODY LANGUAGE?!?! The sweater and shoe repeating and the hair parting are also things I have always done. Also I have also struggled so much with sharing but that's something people don't really talk about and I've always felt like it was my own moral flaw.
DUDE OMG i did literally all of these as a kid, even down to the hair thing (!!)
I'm almost 19 years old now and I only found out I'm autistic about a month ago or so. It really baffles me how no one has ever noticed - not my teachers, not my family, not even myself. People, especially teachers, really should be more informed on neurodiversity and how to spot it. It literally saves lives.
So, tysm Paige for making these videos and spreading more awareness! Wishing you all the best
Always have been outraged (which is why I left the profession) at the feigned ignorance so many teachers practice when it comes to student happiness and social interactions. You deserved better! So many teachers “missed” the signs my daughter was neurodivergent, and dismissed any questions I did have about her functioning in the classroom.
I could read really well and spell if I am writing words down but I couldn't comprehend what I was reading and couldn't and still can't understand what a lot of fancy words mean, I constantly have to look up words to understand what they mean.
i was able to “decode” very advanced texts from a young age, but i didn’t have the life experience to understand the context of the higher level books, so i was level J or so at the end of kindergarten
Oh girl. I feel that statement about finding other kids/people boring. I always say if people can't get deep with me, I don't want them in my life. I'm not proud, but that's how I feel. It stems from me feeling misunderstood, not that other's are boring.
this woman described EVERYTHING happening to me since i was in kindergarten, yes u do remember mist things dont ask i just do
It’s insane how adults don’t care about kids.
I am a mother of two, a daughter who is 10 and a son who is 8, my son is currently getting tested for autism after a long battle with the school district who kept refusing to listen or help. As of now all we know is he's low on the spectrum but should know more soon. Wanted to thank you for spreading awareness so others can notice certain signs and get the help the kid(s) may need. My family and I truly care and appreciate all you have done and continue to do. Thank you!
Low on the spectrum?
Thanks for your videos, Paige! I relate to so much of this and have recently self-diagnosed with ASD. I also grew up in Ontario (and went to McMaster) and all of my traits were completely missed by the school system as well... It's hard not to be resentful about how much less suffering I might have had, if someone had just noticed me. It seems like there's a number of us (especially females) who continue to struggle because we never got the help we so desperately needed... I'm grateful I've finally learned this about myself, thanks to people like you who make these videos! :)
i’m not autistic (adhd gang) but during public school i was left out a lot. i think a big problem is that kids are so concerned with being “cool” that they don’t care if they tear other kids down in order to keep their status. some teachers need to do a better job of not allowing cliques to form
My first grade teacher made me practice hugging. I wish I understood that I was the boss of my own body when I was 18.
Paige thank you so much for always being so open and sharing your experiences and thoughts. You just described two of my children so well in their video and their school experiences. As a mother I was constantly talking to everyone to get help and I could so plainly see these things but time and again I was put off or given "their professional advice " and lost again in the search for help. Then BAM stumbled on Autism diagnosis list and it's so blazingly obvious it was Autism all along. One diagnosis down one waiting to hear back from. But my daughters and my experiences with school have left so many scars. I home educate them now.
Your videos have been a massive encouragement and support ❤️
Swings are the best! In my adulthood I decided to swing again and I'm really glad I remembered that.
Oh my god I resonate with a lot of stuff! I also hate people touching my stuff and move my things around, and I can spot the changes very easily. I didn’t know it is an autistic thing until now. I also wear the same shoes all the time. Do other people change their shoes every day? How?😅
Also, after knowing more about autism, I believe depression and anxiety just come with autism due to the society we live in. You have to be super super lucky to grow up without getting depressed and without any trauma, which is almost impossible. I hope more people could know more about autism and not just those stereotypes.
I had such a hard time growing up undiagnosed but I feel like my family would have put me in ABA and done whatever backwards outside view the doctors had to "help" me. I was sort of diagnosed at 17 (in 2003), the doctor said something like "she could be a weird version of autistic, or she could be schizotypal" and I don't think anyone else thought I was in any way schizotypal. It's interesting that you have such faith that an early diagnosis and support would have been better. I love your videos and your insights. keep bein awesome.
Literally was just looking over my college papers and stuff today, and ALL of the comments my public speaking professors made on my speeches were about what I now know to be autistic traits. I didn’t smile enough, didn’t make enough eye contact, didn’t have enough variety in tone and facial expressions, didn’t have enough gestures or my gestures were awkward, etc. And I remember getting SO frustrated because I had NO idea what he was talking about or how to fix it. Ugh. Also, I info-dumped about Tolkien and linguistics (my special interests) every chance I got; most of my speeches and several of my papers referenced those topics. And somehow NO ONE ever realized???
I’m about to start teacher’s college and this is SO HELPFUL! I think all teachers should at least be aware of the signs so they can approach a struggling child with some level of understanding. Hoping I can be a more proactive teacher after watching videos like yours 💕
I felt this so hard. I was always the kid that never really had friends, always got made fun of, and as an adult, there is no way that the adults in my life didn't see that I was different. I see most of these signs from these videos in myself and wonder how they didn't make the connection. I didn't even consider it a possibility until my own child showed signs of autism and now I'm 22 working on autism diagnosis for the both of us. I've done tons of research for the past year and a half since seeing the signs in my son and people still tell me that I'm being ridiculous or ask why I want autism. We have a few autistic and suspected autistic people in our families so it just makes sense.
I've been emitting these signs for a very long time now, and I have been curious what they meant. I always knew that I was different, from the looks they'd give me in the hallway to straight up being bullied by others. This video has helped me realize my autism as I have all 8 signs. It's all so clear now. Thank you!!!
The hair thing was so me as a kid! Every piano lesson before I could start I HAD to get my hair back. I would put it in a pony or (since it was long) twirl it and stuff it in the back of my shirt. It HAD to be out of my face and off my ears or the stimulus would irritate me. At the time I had no idea I was doing it, but then I caught my teacher purposely waiting for me to put it up before we could start. Lol. I’ve since been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, but I didn’t put it together with the hair thing until you mentioned it. 😂
The hair thing at the beginning!!! I was thinking about it recently, looking back on my childhood. At first I thought ocd, but I remember hating the feeling of it just free flowing on my back. You're the only other person I have seen do this. Other people will have hair in the front on each side, but it's not exact. They will still have hair in the back, and the hair in the front isn't separated from the back, so there's this weird transition of hair on the shoulders. It made me uncomfortable seeing other people have their hair like that. Haha!
Also, in elementary school, I tended to stick with one activity at recess every day. Like just swing for the first few years, and then rest of elementary school I would only play tetherball. It was rare that I would play anything else, and if I did, I was highly uncomfortable and felt like I was missing something.
It's so interesting because I think in my school in Austria everyone with long hair did it, I also did it and I'm not autistic.
I guess I did it because it made my hair look fuller in the front?
So absolutely not weird or out of the ordinary and least of all things something you should be made fun of about.
I just want to add that I only meant that the act of doing it was not out of the ordinary (in my environment ) but can still be autistic behavior.
@@tina9866 I understand. Thank you for clarifying though! I will say it was more sensory for me, which is why I tie it to autism (I currently have many other things on my list). Also pretty compulsive. I agree, that trait alone doesn't make one autistic. 😊 It is interesting to know that it was more common around you. I never noticed anyone around me do it, and I was constantly observing people around me. Haha!
Younger me legitimately used to stay in at break and sharpen the pencils because I was too afraid to have to play football. Older me would fearlessly now use said sharpened pencil on the stupid ball making it abundantly clear I don't do football or hugs but that's a whole different topic...
Ah! I also had a crazy reading level at a young age. I wasn’t allowed to participate in normal “reading” class in grade school. What I had to do instead was read chapter books on my own and then write papers about them.
This video made me feel the past that I have gone through in my life at school. Almost every aspect of the video reminded me of my own school life. Well done, Paige!
Hi, Paige! I was recording an audio to my friend and remembered my struggle with flirting 🤣 as an autistic person diagnosed with 24 years old. I just didn't get the body language AT ALL! To the point i thought people read each other's mind 😳. Or i was aro or ace. Anyways, maybe it's an interesting autistic topic if you struggle with that. I would feel validated if there was a video about it 🖤
additionally, I came home one day and my roommate and another person were sitting in the living room and could not understand when I asked them to get out of MY chair. it was my grounding space. Also, I had another roommate who put the hood of his car (long story) in my cosplay room without my permission. When I discovered it, I had a panic/anxiety attack(still learning the difference) because he didn't have permission to go in there. That was MY space, my safe space, that not even my dogs were allowed in and he had violated that. I was so overwhelmed by frustration and anger. And it's even more frustrating when they happen because to someone who knows nothing about me and knows nothing about Autism and anxiety, a stranger looking in, it looks like I am throwing a tantrum. I hate it. but that is also why I so greatly appreciate the true friends I have made and my boyfriend, because they understand and help me through them. Another time I was driving a uhaul halfway across the country using GPS on my phone and missed my exit due to road construction, and then had to drive through miles of narrow roadway with concrete dividers on one side and metal posts on the other and the weather made it increasingly difficult, that when I finally was able to exit, I was bawling and had to call someone to talk me down and walk me through the "5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch...etc."
In school I had so many signs. I was taken out before I finished first grade and was homeschooled. We said I have ADD but I might have both that and autism. Also thank you for your information. I found out that I have autism because of your channel. I owe you so much ❤
I’m so sorry to hear this-I thought things were better for your generation, but sounds exactly like mine 30 years earlier. They still don’t care. Thank you for talking about it. Stay strong 💪🏼
i relate to a lot of these. got diagnosed when i was 12, in 7th grade. the only thing i dont relate to is not good at english bc the teachers were always impressed
LOL THE TV CART. So many times.
Despite ADD and Autism being very similar and over lapping, you convince me more and more that I'm not autistic, just ADD. However! Now my half sister not sharing her art supplies makes so much sense! Thanks Paige:)
ANALYZING TEXTS WAS SOOOOOOOO HARDDDDD and now I know why : I WAS FKN AUTISTIC THIS WHOLE TIME :( (diagnosed at 21, i am now 23)
I just found your channel and am enjoying going through your videos. 😊 I am 25 years old (f) and was just diagnosed with autism last year at age 24. It’s been life changing. Looking back it has always been SO OBVIOUS that I’m autistic!! I too feel sad thinking about the 24+ years I spent knowing that something was wrong with me (and being told that) but never knowing what. Now that I do know what’s wrong with me, I realized that nothing is wrong with me. Finding this community of young autistic women and learning about and embracing and loving myself has been life changing. Thank you for being a part of that. 🥹 -a new subscriber with the ‘tism (what I jokingly call it sometimes lol)
Man, this girl is kicking in doors and brining this important information to us! Thank you 🙏
I’m 45 and I still can’t share. I hide things so nobody else will touch them, even food and drinks. I lose it if anyone touches my stuff or if they put their things in my space.
I actually am kind of glad no one realised I was autistic when I was younger. I feel like I didn’t get some of the baggage around autism (don’t get me wrong I still have a heaping load of internalised ableism buuuuut). Like you said, I was “just weird” and everyone just kinda went with it, and somewhere early on I just decided weird was a good thing to be and never took it as an insult. To this day I’m still startled when someone’s like “noooo don’t call yourself weird, you’re great!” I’m like “…I know. I’m great because I’m weird. What’s wrong with you.”
Once I went to the “yard duty” because my best friend took my eraser. Not even a cool eraser but one from my mechanical pencil 😭
your sweet ending made me cry, I love you Paige, you inspire me deeply, and I could NOT imagine a world without you in it! inspiring and educating so many
I was hyperlexic but nobody noticed even though I read the reading material in 10 minutes and was reading adult novels when I should not have been able to. The teachers wouldn’t believe that I had read the material even though I could answer all of the questions at the end correctly. They would always say to go back and read it again. You could not have read it already. This went on for years. I did the hair splitting thing as well. I didn’t realize that it was not normal until you pointed it out in this video.
In middle school I got this one mechanical pencil that I really liked. It was sturdy was a comfortable width and had a thin little metal tip that I liked. I never let anyone borrow it. In fact, I always had a bunch of other pencils that I didn't care about because I had them just to give to people asking for a pencil. But if someone tried to steal my special pencil, I'd use the tip to make them regret doing so (I never made anyone bleed. I just jabbed them hard enough for it to hurt). I also liked to "clean" my nails with mechanical pencil graphite (now that I know I'm autistic, I'm realizing that was probably a stim of mine), and that metal tip on my pencil was nice because it worked better than the graphite, for obvious reasons. I LOVE that pencil. Whenever I misplaced it, I freaked out and turned everything upside down to find it, and ultimately I took very good care of it, because I still have it today, and I've been out of high school for about six years now.
Also people seemed to like me throughout school. I know they thought I was weird because they would occasionally comment on things I did, but they would talk to me and clearly enjoy doing so; and as far as I could tell, I was never really bullied, but I may simply not have cared enough to notice if anyone actually tried to bully me... and also resulting in them not proceeding with it because I didn't give them a reaction.
I'd ask to stay in my spot for seat changes because same. It usually went well.
I love you're videos. For once, I feel normal. I'm not the only one who feels the way I feel
Thank you for sharing. I don’t know how to say this correctly but I see a lot of my experiences growing up in what you describe.
4:48 SAME I hate team sports because I don’t want to be the one who messes up for everyone. I swim, do cross country, and track and have never done anything else 😂
"its your boy, uh, skinny pen-"
😂
Omg, I have always done that hair thing and I never knew it was weird, I just thought it was a common thing.
I understand all this way too well! It is as if I said it all myself! Wow!
My teachers pointed out to my mother I had so many of the signs.
Lmao that intro, new sub!!
I want to thank you, because you gave me a glass shattering moment. I went to a small school, and so I would do well in "team" sports, there was 8 kids in my class, but as soon as we went to compete it was like I froze, i lost all my spacial awarness. And it was just being autistic. I did not realize that. I knew i lack spacial awarness, but never put it to that memory. I always thought I was brocken. But it was just the sensory overload from the loud crowd and lack of pradictability. I could high jump like a boss. But make me do it around too many people I forget how to do it. This was so helpfull.
When speaking about English class I had the opposite issue I was so fascinated by why it was written that way and what it meant. So I payed a bit less attention to spelling and such. My reading comprehension and creative writing was above average however spelling and grammar are my nemesis
I'm hopefully getting diagnosed soon. We have papers but we still have to take them to the office before we get the appointment.
I'm watching this because while I relate to most of this, I want to be aware for future students. All of this seems really normal to me and with my own kids (I wear the same shoes all year and my kids wear the same 2-3 outfits all year. I have about 5 because I'm an adult), so maybe I will notice these things rather than just thinking, "this kid is particularly awesome".
1. Idk what my reading lvl was before the 6th grade exactly, but it was always higher than my current grade for sure, but at 6th grade, when we were testing our reading lvls, I had a 12th grade reading lvl. I went through the entire science fiction/fantasy section of our in-school library(school libraries are/were actually kind of rare in the rural area I live in) a couple of times I’m pretty sure.
The shoes and sweater thing, yup. I recently lost mine for this year so I just wear one I don't like or don't wear one. Also my shoes have holes because I refuse to get new ones so I just buy the same pair over and over again
I've been making a list in my phone of thing that I think I do because of ADHD to take to my assessment in hopefully less than a year. And I remembered some things, like in first grade I remember my desk was messy af and I couldn't even close properly it even tho I had the same amount of books as everyone else, that's how unorganised it was.
I also used to carry way too many books in my backpack cuz I'd just forget that I didn't need them but also my backpack was kind of a secondary storage unit cuz my desk was so full already.
I never left books at home cuz I knew it would be very easy to just forget them there.
In maths we had a system where our assistant teacher would tag the incorrect answers in our maths excercises and tag that in the book for us to correct our mistakes. Most people just corrected those immediately but mine just piled up to the point where one evening I had to sit for like an hour correcting almost half my maths book, so months worth of corrections.
I'd quite often had to stay back and do my homework after school after failing to do it at home due to first executive dysfunction problems but then forgetting about it.
During a thing where the teacher gave feedback to my parents which we do in Finland, the teacher commented that I always take the easy way out of an exercise, which I still do but I like to call it efficiency :D
I've always daydreamt, I've always fidgeted often in the form of ripping my nails or fidgeting with a pencil or tapping the desk or doing weird things with my mouth that other people often commented about.
I always finished last in woodwork or sewing cuz I was talking to other people and often my work was a bit sloppy cuz I tried to do something quickly as opposed to well.
My mum's called me lazy and irresponsible but lately she's kinda seen how stressed I am after I neglect paying bills or forget to pay rent (wait imma pay my rent now brb) (ok im done with that now) and she's offered to help with remembering these things and trying to get me into a routine of checking what unpaid bills I have every for example tuesday, so that's nice.
Anyway point being I've always been different and I've always felt different but no one ever made any effort to find out why that might be, or they just attributed it to my hearing disability which idk how they thought that would explain my forgetfulness but oh well. And now when I've made an effort to myself get an assessment after realising that ADHD would explain almost all of my differences my dad basically told me that "okay sure do the assessment but it's not gonna change anything you still have to learn to live with it" and that makes me so mad cuz I. am. struggling. and I feel like getting an assessment and a diagnosis can open doors for kinds of help like medication that you can't get without a diagnosis. Or I mean you can but not legally. This was a long comment god I'm so rambly whoopsie😅😅😅😅
I relate so much to the gym class stuff. Honestly, I didn't even think about the fact that people usually have body language that tells other people whether or not they want the ball or some stuff like that. I tried to do what I *thought* was the right body language, like jumping up and down and stuff and excessively eyeing the person with the ball. For some reason, I've never liked using my arms for body language and stuff like that, so I was probably just jumping up and down on the field. Then my teacher would tell me to "literally just call out to the other kids" but I've never been very good at raising my voice and I don't like it either.
Needless to say, I got yelled at more than once for not participating enough.
It's weird, with you talking about hyperlexia, I related to a lot of that, although I have dyslexia and was at a lower reading level. I was however very gifted in speech, I would often try to use words I couldn't even pronounce yet because I was 3 trying to say "positive" which became "posinated" and CO2 which I would say "carbon dinoxide" lol
I wonder if there's like a variant of hyperlexia for speech and vocabulary, but not for reading. I often found I had to dumb down my speech so the other kids (and some teachers) would be able to keep up, it was so frustrating and I love now that I'm an adult I can speak however I want to and people generally understand.
I'm autistic and wasn't diagnosed until I was like 22 years old, so I relate to a ton in this video!
I also get anxiety over people borrowing things and sometimes am paranoid about people stealing my things because I had my hat stolen at school one time and to this day, I have a hard time trusting people.
I remember having a teacher who wanted to discuss symbolism and I was totally lost. Like, when studying Lord Of The Flies, and how the smashing of the conch symbolized the end of democracy.
So relatable. In thst hair elastic sitch i was always too scared to ask for stuff back so i would decide i didnt like them and that they were a thief
I think I related to just about every thing you mentioned in this video. I am hoping to get an autism diagnosis soon and hope that understanding myself will really help me understand kids who are 'different' or 'weird' at school when I become a teacher, so that they can get the support that they need, unlike the lack of support I received as a child because I was just seen as 'gifted'
Level Zed, grade 1, I love how uber Canadian she is!
Whole video was very relatable. I legit dumb myself down to whoever I am talking to, except my family and my S.O., so much to the point that whenever I do engage in the intellectual conversation people are thrown off guard. When I get my psych exam done after I move back to where my main docs are, I’m not going to tell them about any of my previous Diagnosis. I want to see what they come up with on their own and no outside information, despite having had the ADHD diagnosis in HS because my mom was finally allowed to have me tested.
You did a wonderful job expressing this. I have so many shared experiences from being in school.
They sat my desk facing the wall in the corner bc I corrected the teacher. Oh, and bc I had trouble the first year we had to change classrooms, they made me push my desk from class to class. The whole damn *wooden and metal* thing.... and they made me leave class 5 mins early to do so. So EVERYONE IN EVERY CLASS COULD WATCH ME STRUGGLE DOWN THE HALLWAY.
School was a NIGHTMARE.
I was bored by the childish things we were given to do in primary school. I eventually just stopped working altogether and read my own book through every class. And because no one CARED enough to speak up, I failed everything.
I changed to a 3 hour alternative school (still got regular HS diploma not GED) and they cut out lunch, gym, study hall, AND electives. They handed you the workbook, the tests and at the end, you took the big test to change subjects and/or grades- yourself.
I graduated with honors and NO ONE TOUCHED MY STUFF.
on the note of sharing- i just realized that at a certain point in my life i began to carry around extras of stuff, like i would have my favorite pencils and then throw a shitty extra one in my bag, so then i could “share” but in reality i just had things i planned to simply end up giving to other people so my actual stuff wouldn’t be touched. i have a section of clothes i don’t actually wear that i can offer to people. so interesting
I’m so thankful to you. My younger brother has autism and your videos are a great help to me so that I can be there for my brother and help him when things get hard for him 💖
Okay wow, my experiences in school were so incredibly similar to yours! I still don't get how nobody saw it, in fact I had to find out myself and push for a diagnosis, cause nobody would believe me. Eventually I got diagnosed at 17. I'm 19 now and my life has gotten a lot easier thanks to the diagnosis, but I can't help but think that I'd be happier now, had I been diagnosed earlier. For 17 years I pushed myself deeper and deeper into burnout, just because I thought it was all my fault and I had no support whatsoever. Still, I consider myself lucky that I even did find out
Oh yes, the struggle of the teacher asking you in English class "why are the curtains blue?". How the heck would I know!
3. Yesss omgg I have always been very active but It's Always been dance,yudo,tennis,running etc so solo sports. Also I was born premature and always had problems with spatial awerness,balance etc and just assumed it was because of me being premature
For the reading and ELA stuff, I LOVE reading I am so bad at spelling spell check can’t even understand me sometimes! I always have to rewrite my sentences because I can’t spell some word in it. I did also have the “what does this mean” stuff. I am kinda diagnosed with autism (I got diagnosed with autistic behaviors, but I kinda just said, I have all the behaviors I was only with this person with two days so yeah)
You literally just described my child and I am so sick of people telling me "she's fine" and "she's not suffering enough to be diagnosed with autism"! I have an autism diagnosis and I was a teacher, but everyone keeps dismissing me when I tell them my concerns! I think I'm going to show this to the pediatrician when she finally gets in to see him because I really cannot handle one more person telling me my child is fine when she's already struggling so much with other kids (she's 5).
My school was so small it was one class per year group and they just sent me to the older kids class for reading time I always got teased for it I hated it
Male with extremely mild autism but still relate to this very hard…
6:25 Yeah I have always had that problem too. It's called reading comprehension.
I’m an actively curious to hear your opinion on the brain atism think btw. Day 10
Still watching the video i hated seating changes ate the same lunch every day once I found the perfect lunch and wore the same shoes because I liked them.
I was the exact opposite with that type of stuff, always brought extra pencils and such , I was like that’s really cheap runs, a pencil, your find those on the ground and shit.
I had an autism diagnosis and IEP since at least first grade. My teachers knew but didn't care.
Hey, thank you for making these! You are helping a LOT of people with what you are doing, and that is beautiful.
I always had trouble with the team sports thing, and I had no idea that it could have been autism. I always thought it was just hard because I wasn't friends with everyone else because they were all just so different from me. I didn't understand them and they never tried to understand me. Didn't pay attention to me. Never got the ball or frisbee thrown to me. I just stopped playing after years of wanting to be included. Then people asked me why I didn't play, and I wasn't about to explain everything and start crying in front of everyone, so I just smiled firmly and said plainly that I just didn't want to play. This social construct is the reason that I no longer attend my young adult's group at my church.
I did the hair thing as well but with a side part, didn't know that was odd.
I got good grades and struggled quietly. That made me a "good" kid and no reason to think I was not NT. But all of this is so relatable
i remember white fang at like age 6. Is that too early? LOL. I was bored shitless in school. Then because i was so bored I would cut papers up at my desk.. #fallingasleep. Have you ever done fencing? I love it.
white fang and call of the wild were my favorite books....at age 6😂
Thinking about how once I got older I would get special pencils for myself and then a bulk pack to keep with me to give to people so I didn’t meltdown if it got lost
Another universal feature I would suggest from my own autistic experience and now as a special needs educator is with regard to transitions, i.e. moving from one activity or environment to another especially if it is unplanned or without prior knowledge. Causes emotional responses not consistently seen in neurotypicals.
I don’t know if I’m autistic but I have traits, and in primary school at age 5/6 I was reading chapter books and everyone else was on the little baby book things. They just put me up to the highest level of baby books basically but I stayed there for years because by the time we got up to reading actual books I had been reading in my head for years which is much faster than reading aloud and my mouth couldn’t keep up with my brain and I kept tripping over words so they never put me up until one day I was like I’m sick of this, I can read, please let me prove it (even though I was reading a giant book called Eragon on breaks) and I picked up the most difficult book I could find and read to the reading person, and she was like ok what does x long word mean and I explained and she was like oh shit let’s put you up, and I was just like FINALLYYY
#4 is so funny to me because I was the top of my class in every subject, including English. I was constantly praised for my communication skills, especially in writing. But I also thought Animal Farm was just a fantasy about evil dictator piggies and had no idea it was an allegory for the USSR and communism. "What does this mean?" Hell if I know, I'm just here to correct everyone on how to use a semicolon properly.
The only friend I had was autistic and the other one was using me and I didn’t realise it until I was way older
I also ate the same lunch and breakfast until my mom decided it was unhealthy and forbid me from doing so. Hell.
I remember there were several times in school I legitimately could not focus if there were any noises present at all. And I'd ask to stay in the classroom during break to do my work bc them I wouldn't have to deal with the noises.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 27, but I had both done multiple research projects/ papers on Autism in high school and college, and I worked with a child who was diagnosed while I worked with him(I recognized the signs in him before he was diagnosed) so I recognized I was Autistic before I was diagnosed.
me, adjusting the hair on my neck the exact same way... huh...
Lmaooo!! Number 7 is soooo me 🤣🤣 I’m still like this yet I’m an adult now so I feel bad for not wanting to share or loan out my things. I was also an exceptional reader in elementary school. I remember my teacher telling my mom I was reading at a 12th grade level in grade 4. I could also spell words without studying for the spelling tests. I showed up to my new school and the teacher goes “You don’t have to take this if you don’t want since you just got here” but I took it anyway and got 100%, this was 1st grade 🙃. My 3rd grade teacher wanted to skip me to 5th grade because I was “so smart” but my mom didn’t want that so it didn’t happen. And recess SUCKED because I was always by myself. I didn’t even approach my friends because it felt wrong so I would wait for them to come get me or tell me to sit with them. Anyway, my point is I relate to this video so much. I’m 28 now and keep being told by professionals that Autism is a childhood disorder so…. I’m not sure what to do now 🥲
Sth like 6 and a half of the covered points apply to me + there are many signs outside of the list. Still no diagnosis... Even though I'm older than you. My parents said that there was this one doctor I don't remember whom I've visited as a child because they knew something was up, but said doctor was like 'nah, she's good'. Still don't think that I am neurotypical and my mother also shares my doubts. Right now it's just about closure, which I do not really care that much about, but a proper diagnosis would've helped me better understand myself all the years ago, back when it was so medievalish over there that I was led to believe that autism is a term reserved to non-verbal kids etc.
As for your list;
1. My parents taught me how to read before I went to school and I was exceptionally good at it. When I went to school (at 6), I was one of the only kids there who were already capable of reading and after the first year I was one of the only (if not only) kids in there who were capable of writing to some extent. In the following three years, I've stated multiple times to my parents that I wished to jump a grade or two ahead, but they refused.
2. Just rel.
3. Very much rel. It always stressed me out unbelievably (I've had some extra issues with PE in general as well, but that's another topic). Team sports suck; I was always grateful when the teacher just let me run laps instead of participating in them.
4. My essays were good, too, but I distinctly remember when we've had to answer some questions about someone else's essay about a theater play and it totally went over my head that the praise of said play was just irony and that the author despised it. This, plus multiple instances of 'the author has already said what they wanted to say, why are we reading into it so much?'.
5. That's the point that I don't really relate to. The main repetitive thing for me was my diet and my clothes, but that's about it.
6. This, like the previous one, I only partially realate to, hence the half. I know that change is weird, but I kinda anticipate it. I took my opportunities to switch things up and I liked having supply teachers teach us for a change. This being said, changes were hard if I had to make a decision of any sorts, so stuff like seating changes made me feel confused, a bit stressed out and waiting for someone to either invite me over to their desk or to tell me where I was supposed to sit.
7. VERY MUCH REL. I was always wary about my stuff and constantly checking if everything is in its place (I still do that, having a bag when I'm amidst others makes me feel like I have to be next to that bag at all times). When we were having our in-school medical check-ups, I took my backpack with me to the nurse's room because I was genuinely afraid of leaving my stuff with my classmates.
8. Yeah, that's just a part of the deal, unfortunately :/
love this outfit