Fr I had migraines! I can't remember but apparently I puked and screamed a lot. I can't remember a time when I wasn't the girl who gets migraines. Who knows what ptsd that left me with.
I will do ANYTHING else, clean the house, run a marathon, do the dishes, practice my instrument, knit a hat, etc., to put off actually going to bed after I've gotten ready for bed.
@@turtleanton6539 Oh am I finally among my people? This is the big problem I have with my insomnia, I can sleep just fine but I have a chronic problem with just not putting myself to bed! I literally procrastinate myself sleep-deprived
My family always called me “the robot”because my emotions never came out “properly”. I wouldn’t cry in movies or whenever else people are “supposed” to cry. Being diagnosed two years ago at 32, that nickname feels like a knife to the chest to me now.
i got called “untouchable” because i dodged hugs and physical contact from everyone, even close family members. also “vampire” because i never turned on lights and routinely turned them off, if someone else had
It’s more about the emotional manipulation for me, the name calling is over passive and right into aggressive and they are “joking” about real charged emotions they have about these behaviors. It’s disturbing because you’re here for family, love and acceptance. No wonder we have social anxiety a lot of the time if this is home where we’re generally more accommodated than outside the house.
@@LaurenLindblad i also have been called a vampire for the same reason. It feels like a punch in the gut to explain that lights are too bright and that being laughed off as “oh haha are you a vampire” as opposed to actually addressing the reality of sensory issues. I feel like I would’ve been diagnosed in childhood if the adults in my life actually took my sensory needs seriously
@@medicsharkyes but if everyone around you knew you had xy and z issues they wouldn't make fun. Saying someone is a vampire cuz they hate light, is "normal" and funny to "normal" ppl by "normal" standards. But if it was explained that your brain couldn't handle the bright light, most would just be like oh damn that sucks,do you need sunglasses, or those glaucoma.glasses older folk used to wear back in the 90s? And the joke would likely land on the fact your blind and need a walking stick. Ppl joke out of love to bring light to things and have fun, not necessarily to make.you feel bad
I liked to make mud pies, but I don't like having dirty hands, so I'd go to my mom and she'd help me wash my hands. Then I'd go back and play in the mud... then go clean my hands again. Back to the mud... wash, rinse, repeat.
That may explain my obsession with sand castles, my crawling around the grass loan like a worm and my constant splashing in any source of water I could find. Also, I guess, makes sense why I liked eating sand. The crunch was heavenly.
One if my few and best childhood memories is when the kindergarten in socialist east Berlin decided to try progressive just before the fall of the wall and filled the sandbox with water! What a pleasure! Told my mom to wait. 😅
When you said sometimes setting up the play (as a kid) is more enjoyable then actually playing with the toys. That summed up me as a kid. I would spend over an hour, setting up my LPS figures with their houses and animals and props, same with barbies. I had somewhere near 500 shopkins, which I would spend ny day setting up... not to play. I would set it up, be happy with it, and walk away. Setting it up WAS my playing with the toy. My younger sister hated me for it 😂
I loved lining up my LPS figures! or I’d set up my calico critters house with all the little accessories, look at it from different angles to make sure everything was perfect, and then I’d pack it all up XD
I never thought of putting off bathroom visits as PDA before, but it makes complete sense. I even have a conversation with myself, trying to convince my body it doesn't need to go NOW. I can just do one more thing first. And another thing. And so on, until hours have passed and I am literally seconds away from messing myself when I finally rush to the bathroom.
Young adult here, without an official diagnosis. One of my favorite “games” that I liked to play when I was growing up. My grandparents gave me a bunch of shopping catalogs that had pictures of all the groceries and produce in it. I would look through each one, and then take some scissors and cut out the foods that I thought looked best. My grandparents also had these little styrofoam food trays. So this is how it went, you took your cut out piece of food, a glue stick, apply glue, and then place the food on the tray. I would do this over and over again, because I thought it was so aesthetically pleasing to see all these nice meals on a tray. I just loved to see the Harmony of it all, you had your main course, your sides, and sometimes a dessert. Honestly, I miss it. It was so much fun.
A couple of my childhood traits that my kids also share: Being loud, like way too loud and not understanding that I was getting louder again after being told to keep it down. Also never understanding anything about an inside and outside voice. Nonstop talking all the time. This would be with my group, if we were at a restaurant I would talk to the people next to us even when they showed they weren’t interested.
Yes that was me and my sister we were always told to be quiet and inside voices! Even now we just can't do it! Our volume control is just non existent!
Alternatively, I was the opposite. I always had a far-too-quiet voice that people struggled to hear. I had no idea how to make my voice louder. I also tended to be silent in situations when I needed to speak.
I'm the opposite. I have been told I have always had a quiet voice. People are constantly asking me to repeat myself. I especially get quieter in crowds. I become louder when talking one on one with someone or in small groups of like two to four people.
I think I believe my mom, based on multiple of the things in this video, when she said "we knew, but you seemed normal enough so we didn't get you tested" because I did a lot of these things. But I'm frustrated that "you seemed normal enough" ties back to a distinct memory I have of my mom explaining that my sibling has autism and I don't, and I ran with that for all my life until 2 years ago when I figured out I wasn't neurotypical and my sibling then said "oh yeah you're autistic" I'm pretty sure I was told when I was young that I'm not autistic, and why the hell was I told that?
I'm sorry they did that to you. They may think that being "normal" or "perceived as normal" would save you from something, but nothing about that is correct or right. I can only guess that somewhere in them they think of autism as inherently negative and not normal. I hope you're able to figure out all you need to in order to make the accommodations you deserve in life.
My brother (3 years older) was OBVIOUSLY autistic. My parents (being immigrants from a less developed country,educated though) with my dad obviously being autistic too and my mom probably BDS were busy with him and after the divorce he got help (still not diagnosed because he got tired of being tested for IQ and other bullshit and by the time they suggested maybe it's autism, he was done). I was diagnosed at the age of 30 (I'm a female)!!! My mom only by then went "oh yeah I knew your brother was autistic" She never even told me. I was considered the normal/easy/smart child. I guess they wanted me to stay in that role. My parents are emotionally immature, I guess they can't see beyond their own needs. But I REALLY could've used some help.
I felt bad for inanimate objects as well. Especially my stuffed animals and dolls...and toys. So you can imagine how I felt after watching Toy Story for the first time!
I've never heard anyone say this before. You just made me realize.....I felt bad for our fridge when we replaced it as a child. This has been such a part of playing that I just always thought it was a thing
Card carrying member of the buttered noodles club. My mother and sister made me feel so much shame and guilt for my food aversions as a kid, I have refused to eat any of my comfort foods for literal decades. I just recently, after going no contact with family, have given myself permission to eat the things that make me feel better and safe when I need to. So happy to see rice and noodles again.
I either want to be VERY dirty or VERY clean and HATE the showering between it. As a kid I used to paint myself with mud when my mom had me play outside, though I live in the deep south (USA) and it was super hot in the summer.
Someone played the “Concrete Angel” music video at a sleepover when I was a little girl but I was the only person in the room not crying as we watched it. One of the girls loudly said to me “why are you not crying? You have no soul! You have no heart!” It made me so genuinely confused, ashamed, and embarrassed
Yea I think as a kid the lyrics have to be understood. I barely understand lyrics now as an adult without subtitles. Those kids prolly learned from their parents and peer pressure took over. Which is how allistic people socialize, I assume. Without understanding, the lyrics would be so abstract because it isn't saying the message clearly, it's all subtext. As a kid, if you aren't abused, what does it even mean? That's what I think anyway, I didn't even realize that was a sad song till you're comment made me look up the lyrics.
@@SLYKM thank you for sharing this insight! It does help quite a bit. I understood some of the lyrics but I’m just not much of a crier when it comes to things like that. I do experience hyper empathy but more so with animals if that makes sense!
We watched Marley and Me in class in middle school, and I got told I’m heartless too for not crying. I already knew the dog was going to die and I don’t like crying in public, I’m not going to cry on cue! Such a weird expectation
The more I think about my childhood the more I’m 1000% positive I’m autistic. As a kid I HATED going to the bathroom. Like I would refuse and hide behind the couch holding it in. And I sleep walked to my parents room every night until I was like 10. The other day I also remembered that I insisted on drinking out of a baby bottle til I was like 8. I’m 26 and am just now learning how to unmask, which is extremely hard cuz I learned to mask extremely well growing up in a high control religion. All that to say, thank you Paige. I wish I knew all of this sooner.
I’m autistic also and omg I can relate to the baby bottle issue. Mine was a avent brand one. I even brought it in public and had zero shame until about 8-9 yrs old . One day it was gone my mom finally threw it out and I didn’t end up getting a new one and eventually got over it😂
@@dejapondergod it is so reassuring to know I’m not the only one 😂 I don’t even remember how my parents got me to stop, but I would kind of chew on the tops so I think they just stopped buying replacements for me
I had to hold my nose and plug my ears when I went to the bathroom, even if it was a very clean bathroom. I just didn’t like anything to do with the sensory stuff.
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who didn't want to stop using their baby bottle. My parents forced me to stop when I was around 5 I think. I remember going down the stairs to the kitchen at night to try and make a bottle of water myself. I got so frustrated they wouldn't allow me to use it anymore.
Here is a related topic you should do a video about: autism infantilization. For example, why do people assume that either all autistic people are intellectually disabled or that autism is a thing that only children have?
one thing to get me to get angry immediately is infantilizing me. it happens constantly in my house towards me and i cannot stand it, and when i try to verbalize it all the neurotypicals in my house say “its for your own good,” while its actually causing me to develop more self-esteem issues. i am capable of doing these things myself because i am an adult. i am the same age as you, you do not need to micromanage me in the kitchen on how to cook a freaking grilled cheese! i am not five years old. even well-intentioned friends do this, and when i tell them they are unintentionally being ableist, they expect me to just brush it off. christ sakes man. can’t win.
The way I cackled with the echolalia thing, oh god. In Brazil its common for big franchise supermarkets to have ads on TV, highlighting prices and special offers on specific days. And I would recite most of the TV ads, but everyone was always impressed that I could repeat the prices and offers at the same speed the narrator did, without fumbling, even after having heard the commercial once or twice at most. I just memorized it because I liked the rhythm and cadence of speech!! To this day I can mimic specific voices and speech patterns. My favorite anecdote is from new years of 2023, my friends and I travelled together, and because I had shotgun (usually throw up if I ride in the backseat), I started saying the directions in the GPS voice. The driver missed the exit I had pointed out and I said (affectionately, we're all queer): you missed the exit, you little gay boy. And everyone in the car freaked out because they hadn't realized up to that point it was me, not the GPS speaking (which wasn't very bright on their part, considering it was A Different cellphone connected to the aux cord and the instructions were pretty loud and clear, even over the music, but oh well 🤷🏻♀️)
Yes and the voice overs and highly animated talking from my sister. Holy cow, who is this person! I glimpsed it several times, as she won't do it in front of family.
Im honestly shook with how my parents didn’t take me to get evaluated for autism. My tornado obsession is ✨next level ✨ and it’s been that way since I could remember.. I still have and collect stuffed animals and name them after towns affected by major tornadoes 🤦♀️🤦♀️ and for my birthday, my husband got me the significant tornadoes book and I read the whole thing in a day. 😅 I’ve been trying to get diagnosed as an adult, but it’s hard. I keep getting brushed off because I’m married. No one even asks me about my past relationships, where my „problems“ really shine 😅
Yeah I remember going up to my room to "play" as a kid and what I would actually do would be to take books off my bookshelf one at a time, and then put them back on the shelf. And then I'd do the same thing with all my ornaments/trinkets on the shelf. Still do this - picking up stuff and putting it down again is an excellent activity. I also used to really struggle when I couldn't sleep. Like the thought of not getting enough hours before I had to go to school would just start a brain spiral and then I would cry and my Mum would have to sit with me until I stopped crying and went to sleep.
i had lots of collections, 2 of my favorites were my marbles and my gemstones. i would sit on my bedroom floor & organize them in different groupings for hours. or i’d take everything out of my drawers and shelves and rearrange it all
Undiagnosed, but I relate to ALL of these things other than the PDA. I also (and currently) stimmed, tip-toe walked, flapped my arms, would throw out random facts like nobody's business, had trouble maintaining friendships with more than one person at a time, intense anxiety of minor changes, always misinterpreting what others were saying (especially if it was instruction), 'learning disabilities', self-injury, self-isolation, extremely inattentive, etc.
Literally me. My parents still think I'm not, though, despite every diagnosed autistic person I've met telling me they think I'm autistic or asking if I'm autistic, the fact that I fit every single criteria in the dsm-5, the page-long list of reasons I believe I'm autistic, and me literally unmasking in front of them. Eventually I'll go to get diagnosed, though, as soon as I can
It's not the mess it's the transition to mess. It's the same as the shower, once I'm in the shower it's fine to be wet, but especially it's hard to go from dry to wet, especially on the face. Same with sand at the beach etc.
I LOVED swings as I kid I was so devastated when my dad got rid of our swing set, also another thing was every single one of my teachers always said I was too quiet, little me just did NOT want to talk and I still hate participation grades cause I just want to sit there and absorb information. I was also obsessed with watching videos of people packing bags for American Girl Dolls when I was young, like all those little doll pieces just fascinated me.
Swinging was such a good way for me to listen to music because I have my imaginary world where I perform/visualise songs and it's hard to sit still so I need movement. Too bad I'm 17 and I'm ashamed of doing that now.-_- I did use swings recently though, at my grandparents' house. It's a convenient way to release energy and I would do that FOR HOURS and even get up at 4 a.m. for that.
i think the thing that probably was one of the big giveaways to my autism was my attachment to my childhood blanket- or just "blankie" ("mi cobija" in spanish hehe) it's a soft, fuzzy blanket with a design of two clowns on a bike with a cat in the basket. i had it ever since i was baby, and have never let it go. i would carry it around with me all the time and just take it with me wherever because it made me feel safe and put me at ease. i loved rubbing against it and feeling how soft it was, smelling the fabric softener and homey scent it would get, and looking at the pretty colors. it was actually SO often i had him that my family started calling me "linus" (because i also happened to have a thumb sucking habit) i also would oftentimes get fussy and have meltdowns over not being able to find him, worried that he would be gone forever. truthfully? i still feel that way ahaha... i just can't sleep without at least knowing he is there... not necessarily actually covering me, but just cuddling him, draping him over my pillows. just there. and i'll honestly keep him until the end of time, even if by the end he's just a little shriveled chunk of fabric.
I am 49 years old. A few years ago my sister brought up to me that i could be autistic after a discussion with my cousin who is a special ed teacher. Personally i shrugged it off in denial, but after reasearching, watching videos, and looking back at my life it is starting to make sense. I do not have much sensory issues with feel, taste etc though. Throughout my lfe i struggled with poor eye contact, anxiety, communication, maintaining relationships, and getting emotionally drained in which i needed my alone time. Yes i do have the meltdowns when i end up shouting as i feel thewalls are closing in on me. During the last 10 years i have been slowly improving myself, and i feel more confident. A major improvement compared to the trainwreck i was as a teen. I gotta keep reminding myself to take baby steps as i crawl out of my shell. Paige reminds me of myself meaning coming off weird to everyone as a first impression, but can be a blast to have fun with.
I am not trying to say this will be your experience, but I too thought for a while I didn't have sensory issues, then I listened to many more experiences with it and found myself realizing I had long blocked it out. example "I don't like how the socks feel on me? Well I need to suck it up because I have to wear socks." and would never associate "my socks" with my anxiety or irritability level of the day; though my consciousness wasn't thinking of it, the signals were still being sent to my brain. One of those "it's the little things that get to you" moments, making those small adjustments did wonders for me even though I have a long way to go.
yes. yes yes yes and yes. 49 here. now i cry to things like Paige, and think OH my god, - just ... wow. I just wanna say - you kick so much ass. I am so proud of you. And me too. AGH! just. wow.
sleep issues: yes; digestive issues: yes; anxiety: yes; setting up play as play: yes; delaying going to the washroom because I was "busy"; yes; love of bouncing and movements mentioned: yes; and probably more I forgot. how did no one know? I still can't get an official diagnosis.
I think a significant portion of my family are on the neurodivergent spectrum (autism, adhd), due to the fact that of how I was raised(?) My dad taught me the importance of eye contact and how looking someone in the eyes shows the speaker that you understand and are listening to what they are saying. My grandfather on my mothers side will focus on solely one thing for days at a time (during summer break he played pac man and king kong everyday after dinner for a few weeks, and if you tried talking to him he wouldn’t respond because of how focused he was on the activity at hand.), he struggles with change, especially if it is something last minute that wasn’t on the agenda. A lot of the things my dad and my grandfather did when they were children and do now I relate with as well. With researching in autism, I notice little things that I didn’t before in my family members, and I notice the little things I do as well.
Speaking of being interested in niche subjects… hoo boy… Remember that weird as hell fever dream of a time in the late 90s to early 2000s when Klasky Csupo (the animation company behind shows like Rugrats, Wild Thornberrys, Rocket Power, etc.) made a cartoon in collaboration with McDonald’s, the episodes of which were sold by the chain on VHS, and had a number of well known voice actors on its cast like Dee Bradley Baker, Charlie Adler, Jim Cummings, and the late Christine Cavanaugh, among many others? When I was in middle school (in the early 2010s) I had, like, such a fixation on these tapes. They would be my main target at the thrift stores and I would always watch them. Couldn’t tell you why.
My great aunt lived in a small village and had a really cool yard with two fully functional miniature windmills on stilts that you could spin and turn. I loved to turn the wings and watch them swoosh along closely to my face. She also had a little vegetable garden that was fenced im with a tiny adorable fence to keep her dog from digging in it. Back when I was very little I loved to use the little fence door as my toy to endlessly play "putting my child to bed and closing the door and then opening the door again and wishing my child good morning". Like really that was the game and I would play it over and over again for the entire visit. 😅
Okay this is so me! “I don’t want residue”, like, I really hate getting residue/ the feeling of sticky things/ food on my hands & also clothing that doesn’t feel right on my body, or socks that’s too tight around my ankles etc etc. As soon as I get home I take my socks off because it feels like the upper part of the sock (can’t remember what it’s called now) is cutting into my skin. I’m not officially diagnosed with autism, but I can relate to a lot of things you’re talking about.
I would line up all the Polly Pocket figures and clothes by type, and then be done playing with them. I did become aware that I did this as I grew older and wondered what was wrong with me that I didn't want to play with them more by making a story up. Makes sense in retrospect after learning I'm autistic.
i was like that with my barbies. i would change their outfit, fix their hair, reorganize their clothing organizer… and be done with barbie playtime after that. but with my Neopets plushies, i controlled playtime which was just making paper cutouts of items and currency and then trading bits of paper.
As a kid I had a very difficult time managing my emotions in a way that seemed logical to other people. Shock or grief would often make me smile or grin uncontrollably, which I was extremely ashamed of. Meanwhile anger, fear, embarassment/guilt or in general dysregulation and overstimulation would make me cry. As a result I was often called insensitive, whiny, manipulative. I regularily just went to swimming practice sobbing violently just because I didn't want to go, but I giggled like a clown toy when my mom told me that my rabbit had died.
Not me who used to line up her teddies by 'family' and size order and ate a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, a penguin bar and a packet of walkers cheese and onion crisps for lunch every single day, except for Saturday, when it was heinz macaroni cheese, because Saturday was ballet day. Recently diagnosed with adhd, now questioning autism too. I also knew pretty much everything there was to know about cats, and the lord of the rings
The thing about having trouble going to bed in a timely manner because the brain is still highly active, and is probably the most active at that time of day for that person, is also a common experience for people with ADHD. It seems this is just a common trait for most neurodivergent people in general.
The residues on the hands is a big one. I've always excessively washed my hands, and my hands can not be oily or sweaty or greasy in any way shape or form.
As an adult i have found my love of swaying and movement has meant that using an electric scooter to get around the city is stimulating in the exact right away
I am an autistic individual, but have also been diagnosed with BPD...which I think is wrong... BPD came about because of my eating issues and my "issues with emotional control..." BPD can go out a window. Ive been trying to fight that diagnosis, and it hurts when people dont listen. Thank you, Paige, for being a voice those who struggle to find their own ❤️
I've read that awareness is growing that some people diagnosed with BPD might actually be autistic. So it's saddening that you've been given that diagnosis and you're trying to fight it. Good luck ❤
I have autism and bipolar disorder, but I wonder if it’s just autism that causes me to stay up for most of 5 days researching or collecting or obsessing on a hobby and then crash. I don’t really get depressed…I just wear myself out. A lot of psychiatrists don’t fully understand “high functioning” autism, IMO. I had one psychiatrist who was really intent on a BPD diagnosis, also. It didn’t actually stick, though
I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline). I got rid of it when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I didn't get my autism diagnosis until later. Look at the DSM 5 requirements for Borderline. See if you really meet them. I didn't but because I harmed myself I was diagnosed with it.
👍👍 sorting pencils by color or length and then lining up the tips perfectly to make a little circle. Subtly changing math questions before answering them. Playing with rocks by breaking them with bigger rocks 🤷🏼♀️
Hey Paige! Gestalt language learning such a "totally cromulent" way to learn that it "embiggens" my heart!😂 When I was under 2 years old in my crib, I was awakened EVERY morning by my dad brushing his teeth (which involved MUCH coughing, as I realized later, for the sole purpose of waking me up -- he wouldn't have opened my door and would have closed the adjacent bathroom door.) He's 87, and is still the same. I cannot believe how much of my life has been influenced by the "adults" in charge not making the effort to simply ask what I wanted or needed, even though I was capable of telling them. Love the quasi-Princess Leia hair!💕
me: "no, i don't have sleep issues" also me: insomniac child, semi-regular sleep paralysis, every time i explain exploding head syndrome to someone they look at me REAL crazy The vestibular motion thing is funny because I've learned recently that I actually LIKE roller coasters. I always thought I wouldn't enjoy them but turns out I do! I'm realizing that I've always just liked some "slightly extreme but mostly safe" physical sensations like spinning, heights, going fast, etc.(except those Viking boat style rides. Not for me🙅🏾♀️)
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT UNTIL I'VE READ THIS COMMENT I HADN'T EVER HEARD OF EHS AND I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND OMG OMG OMG EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. THIS SOUNDS DRAMATIC BUT ILYSM YOU LITERALLY JUST MADE ME REALISE I'M NOT FREAKING CRAZY OR HAVE SOME KINF OF PROBLEM AHHHHH 😭❤❤❤❤
I collected rocks and loved the blue shiny ones called peacock ore so much to the point that I named my pet rat “Peacock” 😂 HOW DID MY PARENTS NOT KNOW
I had colic as a baby, I would cry over everything. I literally knot the diolog to every Disney TV show and movie, live action and animated cuz I've seen them thousands of times. Even the old ones from 20-30 years ago I still remember all the diolog. I'm able to watch Disney movies in my head without needed to actually play the movie cuz I can see it in my minds eye. I love to spin, and rock, and swing. I could do it all day long and not be bored of it. I would spend HOURS in my room organizing and arranging my movies, CDs, and books until I had them lined up just right the way that I liked. I would organize by genre, by author, by series, by size, by color, by artist, by which one I loved more, by what I was currently reading/watching/listening to. I am an only child so I leaned from a young age to be comfortable in my own company and play alone. When I was in kindergarten my teacher tried to hold me back cuz I wouldn't interact/play with other kids and she was worried there was something mentally wrong with me and told my mom that the only way I would be advanced to first grade was if I was put in therapy and taught how to be normal. So from them on my mom was super strict about me being quiet, and calm, and to stay still, and to stop fidging, and to act my age. So after 20+ years of hiding who I really am, I recently started the process of unmasking and found out that I'm autistic. I've also had several bathroom accidents when I was a kid. I'm embarrassed to say that when I was very young I had a tendency to piss and poop my pants cuz I didn't realize I had to go until I felt it in my pants. I got made fun of a ton cuz of this cu I was the only kid to still have accidents. But as I got older and leaned to control it and leaned to listen to my body now I don't have any accidents anymore. I used to get in so much trouble as a kid for being to sensitive or overly emotional or having an anger temper tantrum over things that didn't effect others. At my dad's funeral I was extremely upset and I was crying non stop but I also was surrounded by so many people and family members and everyone was trying to comfort me which made me feel really uncomfortable. I'm OBSESSED with anything Disney or supernatural or fantasy related, I'm obsessed with stuffed animals and dolls. I used to have an entire closet filled with buckets of rocks. Any time I was outside and saw a pretty rock, I wanted to keep it. So my mom's step dad would always buy me those kids buckets and shovel and I filled thousands of those little buckets with hundreds of rocks and he allowed me to store them in a spare closet he had at his house. Then after a few years when it got full and he died and we had to clean out his apartment my mom made me get rid of them all. I miss collecting rocks, it was so much fun. One time I had left a stuffed animals in the car and right at bed time I had a panic attack and was screaming and crying and I was scared for my stuffed animal cuz they were out in the dark in the car all alone and I was afraid something bad would happen to it, so to shut me up and make me go to bed my dad went out to the car to get it for me. I put it on my bed with me alone with all the others and fell asleep instantly. I hate getting messy/dirty or making a mess while I have fun. My mom was a stickler for keeping the house clean as well so me being non messy was a great thing. I definitely have sleep issues. I will stay up and do things tomorrow my mind busy until I feel dead on my feet and ready to pass out. I can not sit in the dark and silence with just my thoughts, it gives me anxiety and makes me uncomfortable and then I can't sleep and it leads to insomnia. All this....and people don't believe that I'm autistic, I had to self diagnose myself Thu research from online and TH-cam videos. I recently went back to therapy after not going for a decade and I'm trying to get my Drs to test me for ADHD, autistim, and OCD. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 5 years old and yes I very much do have those, but I feel like I have more then just those 2 things going on in my brain and no one will test me or believe me.
8 out of those 10 things you listed are an exact description of a few of my friends from the days when we were kids. It explains a lot about them and wherever they are, I hope they found themselves.
As a newborn, I screamed for 18-20 hours a day. The pediatrician didn't believe my mom and blamed it on her over-reacting as a first time mother. So she started keeping a diary and showed it to the pediatrician on our next visit. He prescribed Paragoric (sp?) to help me with my colic. I probably did sleep more, I was also stoned out my baby gourd on opium. Everything you're saying describes me. But when I was a kid in the 1970s, not alot was known about autism. I'm hyperlexic so I don't fit the old stereotype of an autistic, i.e. nonverbal and mentally challenged. If I were a kid today, I would definitely be diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. I'm waiting for the day when all the puzzle pieces click together for my parents and they recognize my neurodiversity as something I don't control. I wasn't being mean when I pulled away from their touch, i wasn't being picky when I insisted on eating the same lunch throughout my school career, and I'm not deliberately sabotaging myself at work and losing jobs
Honestly your videos became such a save space for me over the last few months. I (27) just got recently diagnosed with Autism in combination with ADHD and your videos provide so much information and also empathy (make this sense? I’m from germany and english is not my mother language, despite to my also existing communication problems lol) as I feel so much understood and finally have the vocabulary for all these things I recognized my whole life but couldn’t name. A genuine thank you, you helped at least one person to picture a better life and helped a lot
12:46 yea this is a sign, i know a lot of autistics like this. But from personal experience ( im autistic) it can go the other way around. I was vary sensory seeking and you could always find me in the mud/water i loved rolling in grass also.but not sand! I hate sand... just wanted to add this if anyone relates to me.
I'm 26 and have been going down the, "I was undiagnosed my entire life" rabbit hole since age 22. You're giving me more proof! I didn't even know some of this stuff was related to autism. The inappropriate emotional responses...I have an uncontrollable urge to laugh at funerals, physical pain and serious situations like when I'm being yelled at or in a room where someone is yelling. Being itchy makes me want to cry. I hate having wet hands so I hate washing my hands (I use hand sanitizer) and I hate washing dishes. So many special interests that have been with me since I could speak. Just wow
I relate to a lot of this, but play that involved getting dirty was my fav. Digging in mud, climbing trees, rolling done hills. might have been sensory seeking.
Number 3 proprioception. I love this info. I am autistic myself undiagnosed. I have 5 kids three are diagnosed and two are slipping through the cracks. Thank you so much for what you do. Awareness is so important!
Separation anxiety was a big one for me. I didn't get diagnosed until much later, but when I was little I had trouble coping with changes in routine, new environments, new people, etc... If I had a parent or another "safe" adult with me to offer reassurance I would usually be okay, but if not... OOF...
As always, thanks for the video. I suspect that a couple of my children and my husband have autism. My husband and young son definitely fall into the camp of wanting to avoid mess and the sensation of getting messy with things like mud and finger paints. However, my teenage daughter, who we have known since she was about four, has SPD, and she had both sensory-avoidant and sensory-seeking behaviors. Her seeking behaviors have always come across in wanting to coat her skin in mud, squish her hands through paint, dish soap, ketchup and mustard (when young). She avoids more gritty-feeling textures, but she is more likely to seek out “messy” things. Just wanted to put that out there that not all autistic kids avoid mess, so don’t rule it out if your kiddo seeks out slimy messes.
You are so funny and made my day! I am having a hard time with the fact that my child is on the spectrum. I cry everyday she is my first and only child. No knowing how she is going to turn out is killing me. Like I know it’s not the end of the world but I was different growing up and I suffered and I don’t want my child to go through the same. So after my crying spell I came across your video and you are so funny! Thank you because I need this laugh. I literally canceled an interview bc this is just so hard to accept.
Your son and you sound funny :) Solidarity-Request: I found someone insulting individual disabled people but also the whole concept of them. Does anyone want to ask me where so they can voice their support?
That’s interesting because I loved every kind of sensory play as a child. I loved paint, I loved mud, I loved outdoor play and climbing trees as long as I could wash it all off after.
I'm the complete OPPOSITE at funerals. Once the flood gates open (and it really doesn't take much) I cannot STOP and I can't cry quietly or subtly either - it's a loud, hysterical SOB and I get SO embarrassed. It even happens at funerals for people I don't know very well like my partner's Great Grandma's funeral - I only had to look at someone else who was emotional/crying/tearful and it would set me off and I'd struggle to control it! I have a funeral coming up in a couple weeks' time for my Gran-in-law who I was super close to and I'm DREADING it!!!!
Between your videos and a few others I was able to piece together enough information to finally get my child tested. We test next week. I never realized things were traits until you gave specific examples. Then it triggered memories of wait she did that. So thank you!!
Girl, all of this is my oldest son. He is 10 and autistic and amazing. He is OBSESSED with the Titanic and has been for almost 3 yrs now. He has 3 friends at school, 2 of which are twin girls and also on the spectrum. His 3 friends came for his birthday and they all got him titanic themed items for his birthday. He is the best kid and I’m so thankful to be blessed to have him as my son. Love your content.
I can relate to experiencing literally every single point! I had collic til i was 3 and refused to walk properly or talk til 4. Was diagnosed with ADHD at 4. It costs $2,500-5,000 to get an autism assessment as an adult, in Canada :(. Your videos help me feel alot less alone and that "its not all in my head".
I only recently got told I’m autistic when I went to see my psychiatrist for an ADHD diagnosis (got that too hahah double whammy) but OMG, so much of what you just listed was me. WHY DID NOBODY NOTICE? 😂 It’s so obvious looking back.
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN IN A VIDEO 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩! In my case, what I remember of my childhood is that I had comprehension problems (especially with text reading) and I had to double my first and second grades once each to improve my skills. That was even before I knew I am autistic, but I still got lots of help from my parents and my schools. Also, I was the kid who prefered playing alone with animal-shaped toys instead of playing with the other kids.
I'm AuDHD and I was the opposite (and still am sometimes) with mud and puddles and sand and dirt. I would lie down in the puddles and cover myself with dirt and mud. My mom has told me that she had a hard time finding me on rainy days in kindergarden, because I was so covered in dirt I was unrecognizable.
Oh I so relate to the video song at the end. I still do that too, and I'm old. My sing songy stuff used to really get on peoples nerves when I was a kid.
So much of this seems just like my 9 year old daughter. She's diagnosed ADHD but I've always strongly suspected autism. It's expensive to get a diagnosis in the U.S... not to mention difficult. One autism specialist already said she does not have it because "she can talk and make eye contact." But I tend to look to resources for autistic kids and their parents to help me understand and support her. I appreciate these videos. Even if she's not autistic she shares many traits.
thank you for sharing your experiences bc like. u know the feeling of desperately trying to find something to relate to with others in order to find yourself? watching your videos fulfills that completely like i want to happy cry. i loved the part abt the trash … when i was in elementary at recess i wanted to play imagination games all the time but couldn’t always find ppl to play with, i think third grade i would collect all the dead grass and litter in the soccer field and make a big pile of dead grass and trash and think of it as a nest and lay in it. i remember feeling so lonely and wanting to connect with others so badly and just thinking through everything social with a heavy wistful lonely sadness while sitting in my nest. it comforted me. held me. now that i think back on it i can see all the layers to why i loved my nest and remaking it each time it left. why i loved going foraging and taking all the pieces of litter i found back to my nest 🥹 the ways in which i expressed my emotions and empathy. thank u for keeping me company :) BYE! ✌️
Weirdly I have and had the exact opposite reaction to funerals. Even people I didn't really know I got very very upset; even more than the close family. SLEEP, dear god that is so relatable, when Harry Potter book 5 came out I pulled several all nighters because I kept telling myself I'd read just one more chapter and I wasn't tired yet... I never knew when I was tired. FUN TIMES. Stomach stuff..., the whole rubbish/ garbage thing and sensory issues with touching things... All relatable.
My son is autistic and has ADHD (diagnosed in Nov 2022 at 15 years old)) and couldn’t care less about messes. He has been this way since he was little. I was told it’s one extreme or the other with Autism.
Yes.Everything you said I get it.Plus I loved finding little spaces where I could hide.That could be a closet or under my bed or under the sink or I would build a little fort or wherever I could disappear for awhile even in kindergarten.I really liked your video.
In early childhood I was a sensory seeker in terms of touch in terms of things like eating with my hands, and splashing when bathing in the sink, and playing in the mud, which I think is one thing that made it a little less obvious. My most obvious sign though was communicating in gestures and sounds when my friends who were only a month different in age from me were communicating with simple sentences. Also running in circles and intense interests made it more obvious that it was Autism, and I think making more detailed pictures than other children, and having better long term memory could also be related to me being Autistic. Also I had echolalia, and scripting, which I feel are natural Autism things, but are also masking things to some extent as well.
As for the "tubes in your ears that sense orientation"... It gets stronger with less bloodflow/airflow, as it causes a puckering in that area. As a kid, i used that to stim, leaning my neck/jaw on curved surfaces like the handle of a walking bike to get that puckering sensation while swaying side to side.
For sleep as a baby I was the opposite of you. I slept so much that my mum had to wake me up to feed me. I slept through the night at 4 weeks old. Throughout my childhood I would just go to sleep any time I was tired, it didn't matter where I was, didn't bother me if that meant that I missed dinner etc. As an adult I have more trouble sleeping, having a weighted blanket helps, sometimes I need to use my loops and have a fan on for white noise also.
Hi Paige! I missed your videos!!! Also, did you know- you were the first Autistic TH-camr that I started following. And you are in a painting I recently have been working on.
13:44 YUK! I have always had issues with water. Moisture, like, YUK! i did like playing in the mud however. But i had to wash up as soon as I was done playing, must stay dry! 3 hours to fall asleep. Even when I was a tiny kiddo, three hours. I was not set up for sleeping at a set time.
Paige, I’m like halfway in and I absolutely relate to every single one of these traits…. Especially the digestive issues later in life in mid 20s. I had my gallbladder taken out because of so much pain. That didn’t help, at all..I’m overstimed rn. So gonna finish this video later! ❤ Thank you for this content!
The PIECES OF GARBAG istg. In my city the pavement cleaners used these big brooms with thick red bristles, and every so often they would break off and lie on the pavement. When I tell you I loved collecting these bright red plastic sticks because I felt so bad that they had lost their broom! 😢
Both of my kids both with different things they don’t like don’t like baths at all. Both don’t like they hair brushed are cut. Both don’t like there ears to be touch , Don’t like being tickle a lot . Only want hug when they both want them . Don’t like there teeth cleaned . Thank u for sharing love seeing your side helps me think maybe my daughter is that way to . Daughter is nonverbal and son talks.
There's a phrase to describe children who learn to speak in phrases (whether autistic or not). Gestalt Language Processing. It's super fascinating to learn about.
I didn’t realize the feeling of going to the bathroom was related w/ autism. I’m 30 & self diagnosed until I can afford to get my diagnosis. This information helps me very much know I’m not just silly for this. Thank you!
5:00 this sounds EXACTLY like my younger cousin! He wants to play but then changes things on a whim, but at the same time gets mad at anyone who makes a small 'mistake' in the playing. He's gotten better though, and he's still young and obviously I can't blame him. We just go along with it and try to treat him nicely! And for me, I dunno if I'm autistic at all but I definitely have some sort of level of sensory issues. I HATE it when people touch me, I get physically sick at theme parks, I tend to panic or get frustrated when its too loud or crowded.. stuff like that.
This was very interesting to me. As a kid, I would spend hours organizing fingernail polish by size and color. Sometimes I would make them into little families lol. I have also always collected rocks. A lot of the things you listed actually really made me think of my childhood. And now I’m raising an autistic child who relates to a lot of these as well.
I’m not diagnosed with autism, but diagnosed with GAD/OCD and Depression, but I think I might be autistic. Especially since my mother told me that I was always a nervous child. I still remember very early memories of being very sensitive (and still am ) to loud noises and just intense moments. I would close my ears a lot. As well as be a very moody and introverted kid, she said I would be very quiet and play by myself. I also still am and even as a kid have hated like playing in mud, water, slime , grass, trees, and just over all getting dirty
“it was sensory issues barbara” real
somehow i scrolled down at the exact right time for paige to say that as i read your comment. amazing.
We need this on a t-shirt!
It was also "I'm a new parent trying to figure it out Paige"
Fr
I had migraines! I can't remember but apparently I puked and screamed a lot. I can't remember a time when I wasn't the girl who gets migraines. Who knows what ptsd that left me with.
I will do ANYTHING else, clean the house, run a marathon, do the dishes, practice my instrument, knit a hat, etc., to put off actually going to bed after I've gotten ready for bed.
I literally cant sleep😅😅😅
@@turtleanton6539 Oh am I finally among my people? This is the big problem I have with my insomnia, I can sleep just fine but I have a chronic problem with just not putting myself to bed! I literally procrastinate myself sleep-deprived
Same
I don't like going to sleep. I have to be really tired.
I never wanted to sleep, even as a child 🥺
My family always called me “the robot”because my emotions never came out “properly”. I wouldn’t cry in movies or whenever else people are “supposed” to cry. Being diagnosed two years ago at 32, that nickname feels like a knife to the chest to me now.
i got called “untouchable” because i dodged hugs and physical contact from everyone, even close family members. also “vampire” because i never turned on lights and routinely turned them off, if someone else had
Literally got called the exact same thing
It’s more about the emotional manipulation for me, the name calling is over passive and right into aggressive and they are “joking” about real charged emotions they have about these behaviors. It’s disturbing because you’re here for family, love and acceptance. No wonder we have social anxiety a lot of the time if this is home where we’re generally more accommodated than outside the house.
@@LaurenLindblad i also have been called a vampire for the same reason. It feels like a punch in the gut to explain that lights are too bright and that being laughed off as “oh haha are you a vampire” as opposed to actually addressing the reality of sensory issues. I feel like I would’ve been diagnosed in childhood if the adults in my life actually took my sensory needs seriously
@@medicsharkyes but if everyone around you knew you had xy and z issues they wouldn't make fun. Saying someone is a vampire cuz they hate light, is "normal" and funny to "normal" ppl by "normal" standards. But if it was explained that your brain couldn't handle the bright light, most would just be like oh damn that sucks,do you need sunglasses, or those glaucoma.glasses older folk used to wear back in the 90s? And the joke would likely land on the fact your blind and need a walking stick. Ppl joke out of love to bring light to things and have fun, not necessarily to make.you feel bad
And some autistic kids are sensory seeking. I liked finger painting, and making mud pies, and playing with modeling clay.
I liked to make mud pies, but I don't like having dirty hands, so I'd go to my mom and she'd help me wash my hands. Then I'd go back and play in the mud... then go clean my hands again. Back to the mud... wash, rinse, repeat.
That may explain my obsession with sand castles, my crawling around the grass loan like a worm and my constant splashing in any source of water I could find. Also, I guess, makes sense why I liked eating sand. The crunch was heavenly.
@@gloriousbastard3319 OMG my awful babysitters (the teens up the road) made me eat sand once and I kinda liked it.
I was a child of the mud 4 sure
One if my few and best childhood memories is when the kindergarten in socialist east Berlin decided to try progressive just before the fall of the wall and filled the sandbox with water! What a pleasure! Told my mom to wait. 😅
When you said sometimes setting up the play (as a kid) is more enjoyable then actually playing with the toys. That summed up me as a kid. I would spend over an hour, setting up my LPS figures with their houses and animals and props, same with barbies. I had somewhere near 500 shopkins, which I would spend ny day setting up... not to play. I would set it up, be happy with it, and walk away. Setting it up WAS my playing with the toy. My younger sister hated me for it 😂
Yup! Same, setting up toys was playing for me.
I'm still like that, sims builder anyone?
❤
I loved lining up my LPS figures! or I’d set up my calico critters house with all the little accessories, look at it from different angles to make sure everything was perfect, and then I’d pack it all up XD
Same! Lego set were my jam, just setting them up. 😄
I never thought of putting off bathroom visits as PDA before, but it makes complete sense. I even have a conversation with myself, trying to convince my body it doesn't need to go NOW. I can just do one more thing first. And another thing. And so on, until hours have passed and I am literally seconds away from messing myself when I finally rush to the bathroom.
relate to this painfully hard
I still do this😂. Talking to myself/my body😂
Omg I got so many UTIs as a kid because of this
@@RachelJ715not the UTIS 💀
@@RachelJ715 Me too 😢😑
Young adult here, without an official diagnosis. One of my favorite “games” that I liked to play when I was growing up. My grandparents gave me a bunch of shopping catalogs that had pictures of all the groceries and produce in it. I would look through each one, and then take some scissors and cut out the foods that I thought looked best. My grandparents also had these little styrofoam food trays. So this is how it went, you took your cut out piece of food, a glue stick, apply glue, and then place the food on the tray. I would do this over and over again, because I thought it was so aesthetically pleasing to see all these nice meals on a tray. I just loved to see the Harmony of it all, you had your main course, your sides, and sometimes a dessert. Honestly, I miss it. It was so much fun.
I'm 56 and cut pictures out of magazines and arrange them to tell stories or mix them up and sort them out according to topic
Sounds lovely
Aww, that sounds lovely.
This sounds so fun to me rn for some reason lmfao I’m 32
A couple of my childhood traits that my kids also share:
Being loud, like way too loud and not understanding that I was getting louder again after being told to keep it down. Also never understanding anything about an inside and outside voice.
Nonstop talking all the time. This would be with my group, if we were at a restaurant I would talk to the people next to us even when they showed they weren’t interested.
Yes that was me and my sister we were always told to be quiet and inside voices! Even now we just can't do it! Our volume control is just non existent!
Alternatively, I was the opposite. I always had a far-too-quiet voice that people struggled to hear. I had no idea how to make my voice louder. I also tended to be silent in situations when I needed to speak.
@CeruleanStar to be fair it was volume to loud at home or I would be mute completely in school, selective mutism I think is the term.
Me too! Then I’d get embarrassed when they kept asking me to speak up and get more introverted. Still happens occasionally.
I'm the opposite. I have been told I have always had a quiet voice. People are constantly asking me to repeat myself. I especially get quieter in crowds. I become louder when talking one on one with someone or in small groups of like two to four people.
I think I believe my mom, based on multiple of the things in this video, when she said "we knew, but you seemed normal enough so we didn't get you tested" because I did a lot of these things. But I'm frustrated that "you seemed normal enough" ties back to a distinct memory I have of my mom explaining that my sibling has autism and I don't, and I ran with that for all my life until 2 years ago when I figured out I wasn't neurotypical and my sibling then said "oh yeah you're autistic"
I'm pretty sure I was told when I was young that I'm not autistic, and why the hell was I told that?
I'm sorry they did that to you. They may think that being "normal" or "perceived as normal" would save you from something, but nothing about that is correct or right. I can only guess that somewhere in them they think of autism as inherently negative and not normal. I hope you're able to figure out all you need to in order to make the accommodations you deserve in life.
My brother (3 years older) was OBVIOUSLY autistic. My parents (being immigrants from a less developed country,educated though) with my dad obviously being autistic too and my mom probably BDS were busy with him and after the divorce he got help (still not diagnosed because he got tired of being tested for IQ and other bullshit and by the time they suggested maybe it's autism, he was done). I was diagnosed at the age of 30 (I'm a female)!!! My mom only by then went "oh yeah I knew your brother was autistic" She never even told me. I was considered the normal/easy/smart child. I guess they wanted me to stay in that role. My parents are emotionally immature, I guess they can't see beyond their own needs.
But I REALLY could've used some help.
I felt bad for inanimate objects as well. Especially my stuffed animals and dolls...and toys. So you can imagine how I felt after watching Toy Story for the first time!
I've never heard anyone say this before. You just made me realize.....I felt bad for our fridge when we replaced it as a child. This has been such a part of playing that I just always thought it was a thing
@@kristynholding4628 it's definitely a thing
Card carrying member of the buttered noodles club. My mother and sister made me feel so much shame and guilt for my food aversions as a kid, I have refused to eat any of my comfort foods for literal decades. I just recently, after going no contact with family, have given myself permission to eat the things that make me feel better and safe when I need to. So happy to see rice and noodles again.
❤❤❤
Buttered noodles and white rice were so good though lol
Awww, you go! Enjoy the heck out of them now! 😅❤️
Enjoy. I have two daughters with sensory integration disorder and noodles with butter and parmesan cheese was a lifesaver for them.
When I got to college, buttered spaghetti every day 😂 plus bean sandwiches with refried beans on breads ❤
I either want to be VERY dirty or VERY clean and HATE the showering between it. As a kid I used to paint myself with mud when my mom had me play outside, though I live in the deep south (USA) and it was super hot in the summer.
Yes!!! It has to be all or nothing at all...
I love mud! 😆
Relate
Someone played the “Concrete Angel” music video at a sleepover when I was a little girl but I was the only person in the room not crying as we watched it.
One of the girls loudly said to me “why are you not crying? You have no soul! You have no heart!”
It made me so genuinely confused, ashamed, and embarrassed
Yea I think as a kid the lyrics have to be understood. I barely understand lyrics now as an adult without subtitles.
Those kids prolly learned from their parents and peer pressure took over. Which is how allistic people socialize, I assume.
Without understanding, the lyrics would be so abstract because it isn't saying the message clearly, it's all subtext. As a kid, if you aren't abused, what does it even mean? That's what I think anyway, I didn't even realize that was a sad song till you're comment made me look up the lyrics.
@@SLYKM thank you for sharing this insight! It does help quite a bit.
I understood some of the lyrics but I’m just not much of a crier when it comes to things like that. I do experience hyper empathy but more so with animals if that makes sense!
We watched Marley and Me in class in middle school, and I got told I’m heartless too for not crying. I already knew the dog was going to die and I don’t like crying in public, I’m not going to cry on cue! Such a weird expectation
Just because you don't cry doesn't mean that you have no feelings. I cry too easily but my best friend never cries but she still cares.
Double empathy for your garbage's pesonal experiences is one of the most incredibly wholesome autistic things I have ever heard.
The more I think about my childhood the more I’m 1000% positive I’m autistic. As a kid I HATED going to the bathroom. Like I would refuse and hide behind the couch holding it in. And I sleep walked to my parents room every night until I was like 10. The other day I also remembered that I insisted on drinking out of a baby bottle til I was like 8. I’m 26 and am just now learning how to unmask, which is extremely hard cuz I learned to mask extremely well growing up in a high control religion. All that to say, thank you Paige. I wish I knew all of this sooner.
I’m autistic also and omg I can relate to the baby bottle issue. Mine was a avent brand one. I even brought it in public and had zero shame until about 8-9 yrs old . One day it was gone my mom finally threw it out and I didn’t end up getting a new one and eventually got over it😂
@@dejapondergod it is so reassuring to know I’m not the only one 😂 I don’t even remember how my parents got me to stop, but I would kind of chew on the tops so I think they just stopped buying replacements for me
I had to hold my nose and plug my ears when I went to the bathroom, even if it was a very clean bathroom. I just didn’t like anything to do with the sensory stuff.
I was obsessed with my tippy cup.
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who didn't want to stop using their baby bottle. My parents forced me to stop when I was around 5 I think. I remember going down the stairs to the kitchen at night to try and make a bottle of water myself. I got so frustrated they wouldn't allow me to use it anymore.
Here is a related topic you should do a video about: autism infantilization. For example, why do people assume that either all autistic people are intellectually disabled or that autism is a thing that only children have?
Oh yes, lots to unpack there!
Yes, that would be a great topic!
I agree! Or treating autistic people like they are children and the things they do are "so cute and wholesome".
one thing to get me to get angry immediately is infantilizing me. it happens constantly in my house towards me and i cannot stand it, and when i try to verbalize it all the neurotypicals in my house say “its for your own good,” while its actually causing me to develop more self-esteem issues. i am capable of doing these things myself because i am an adult. i am the same age as you, you do not need to micromanage me in the kitchen on how to cook a freaking grilled cheese! i am not five years old. even well-intentioned friends do this, and when i tell them they are unintentionally being ableist, they expect me to just brush it off. christ sakes man. can’t win.
The way I cackled with the echolalia thing, oh god. In Brazil its common for big franchise supermarkets to have ads on TV, highlighting prices and special offers on specific days. And I would recite most of the TV ads, but everyone was always impressed that I could repeat the prices and offers at the same speed the narrator did, without fumbling, even after having heard the commercial once or twice at most. I just memorized it because I liked the rhythm and cadence of speech!! To this day I can mimic specific voices and speech patterns. My favorite anecdote is from new years of 2023, my friends and I travelled together, and because I had shotgun (usually throw up if I ride in the backseat), I started saying the directions in the GPS voice. The driver missed the exit I had pointed out and I said (affectionately, we're all queer): you missed the exit, you little gay boy. And everyone in the car freaked out because they hadn't realized up to that point it was me, not the GPS speaking (which wasn't very bright on their part, considering it was A Different cellphone connected to the aux cord and the instructions were pretty loud and clear, even over the music, but oh well 🤷🏻♀️)
OMG that is awesome! 🤣
😂
Yes and the voice overs and highly animated talking from my sister. Holy cow, who is this person! I glimpsed it several times, as she won't do it in front of family.
When distressed, as a small child, I would go into a corner, behind furniture and gently bump my head against the wall.
Im honestly shook with how my parents didn’t take me to get evaluated for autism. My tornado obsession is ✨next level ✨ and it’s been that way since I could remember.. I still have and collect stuffed animals and name them after towns affected by major tornadoes 🤦♀️🤦♀️ and for my birthday, my husband got me the significant tornadoes book and I read the whole thing in a day. 😅 I’ve been trying to get diagnosed as an adult, but it’s hard. I keep getting brushed off because I’m married. No one even asks me about my past relationships, where my „problems“ really shine 😅
My parents told me I was embarrassing and to "stop being weird.."
I got diagnosed at 26, and now I feel free to be me..feels wonderful 👍
That's a dumb reason not to
diagnose you. There are lots of married autistic adults. Though we might often get married a little later than average.
I think that the Tornado book in a day is all you need to say!! Love your comment.
I already know I love you, lololol
Yeah I remember going up to my room to "play" as a kid and what I would actually do would be to take books off my bookshelf one at a time, and then put them back on the shelf. And then I'd do the same thing with all my ornaments/trinkets on the shelf. Still do this - picking up stuff and putting it down again is an excellent activity.
I also used to really struggle when I couldn't sleep. Like the thought of not getting enough hours before I had to go to school would just start a brain spiral and then I would cry and my Mum would have to sit with me until I stopped crying and went to sleep.
i had lots of collections, 2 of my favorites were my marbles and my gemstones. i would sit on my bedroom floor & organize them in different groupings for hours. or i’d take everything out of my drawers and shelves and rearrange it all
Undiagnosed, but I relate to ALL of these things other than the PDA. I also (and currently) stimmed, tip-toe walked, flapped my arms, would throw out random facts like nobody's business, had trouble maintaining friendships with more than one person at a time, intense anxiety of minor changes, always misinterpreting what others were saying (especially if it was instruction), 'learning disabilities', self-injury, self-isolation, extremely inattentive, etc.
Literally me. My parents still think I'm not, though, despite every diagnosed autistic person I've met telling me they think I'm autistic or asking if I'm autistic, the fact that I fit every single criteria in the dsm-5, the page-long list of reasons I believe I'm autistic, and me literally unmasking in front of them. Eventually I'll go to get diagnosed, though, as soon as I can
It's not the mess it's the transition to mess. It's the same as the shower, once I'm in the shower it's fine to be wet, but especially it's hard to go from dry to wet, especially on the face. Same with sand at the beach etc.
Lack of understanding and communication can also be called "Cassandra Syndrome" which I just learned about. Super valuable idea.
Watch me headcanon Cassandra Goth from sims 2 having this
"I dont want residue!" Same, thats why I have eczema from washing my hands all the time. 😂
I LOVED swings as I kid I was so devastated when my dad got rid of our swing set, also another thing was every single one of my teachers always said I was too quiet, little me just did NOT want to talk and I still hate participation grades cause I just want to sit there and absorb information. I was also obsessed with watching videos of people packing bags for American Girl Dolls when I was young, like all those little doll pieces just fascinated me.
Me, too. I was so happy to have kids, as an excuse to swing again! I mean…not solely as an excuse.
Swinging was such a good way for me to listen to music because I have my imaginary world where I perform/visualise songs and it's hard to sit still so I need movement. Too bad I'm 17 and I'm ashamed of doing that now.-_- I did use swings recently though, at my grandparents' house. It's a convenient way to release energy and I would do that FOR HOURS and even get up at 4 a.m. for that.
i think the thing that probably was one of the big giveaways to my autism was my attachment to my childhood blanket- or just "blankie" ("mi cobija" in spanish hehe)
it's a soft, fuzzy blanket with a design of two clowns on a bike with a cat in the basket. i had it ever since i was baby, and have never let it go.
i would carry it around with me all the time and just take it with me wherever because it made me feel safe and put me at ease. i loved rubbing against it and feeling how soft it was, smelling the fabric softener and homey scent it would get, and looking at the pretty colors.
it was actually SO often i had him that my family started calling me "linus" (because i also happened to have a thumb sucking habit)
i also would oftentimes get fussy and have meltdowns over not being able to find him, worried that he would be gone forever. truthfully? i still feel that way ahaha... i just can't sleep without at least knowing he is there... not necessarily actually covering me, but just cuddling him, draping him over my pillows. just there.
and i'll honestly keep him until the end of time, even if by the end he's just a little shriveled chunk of fabric.
I am 49 years old. A few years ago my sister brought up to me that i could be autistic after a discussion with my cousin who is a special ed teacher. Personally i shrugged it off in denial, but after reasearching, watching videos, and looking back at my life it is starting to make sense. I do not have much sensory issues with feel, taste etc though. Throughout my lfe i struggled with poor eye contact, anxiety, communication, maintaining relationships, and getting emotionally drained in which i needed my alone time. Yes i do have the meltdowns when i end up shouting as i feel thewalls are closing in on me. During the last 10 years i have been slowly improving myself, and i feel more confident. A major improvement compared to the trainwreck i was as a teen. I gotta keep reminding myself to take baby steps as i crawl out of my shell. Paige reminds me of myself meaning coming off weird to everyone as a first impression, but can be a blast to have fun with.
I am not trying to say this will be your experience, but I too thought for a while I didn't have sensory issues, then I listened to many more experiences with it and found myself realizing I had long blocked it out. example "I don't like how the socks feel on me? Well I need to suck it up because I have to wear socks." and would never associate "my socks" with my anxiety or irritability level of the day; though my consciousness wasn't thinking of it, the signals were still being sent to my brain. One of those "it's the little things that get to you" moments, making those small adjustments did wonders for me even though I have a long way to go.
yes. yes yes yes and yes. 49 here. now i cry to things like Paige, and think OH my god, - just ... wow. I just wanna say - you kick so much ass. I am so proud of you. And me too. AGH! just. wow.
sleep issues: yes; digestive issues: yes; anxiety: yes; setting up play as play: yes; delaying going to the washroom because I was "busy"; yes; love of bouncing and movements mentioned: yes; and probably more I forgot. how did no one know? I still can't get an official diagnosis.
Hearing you talk about your childhood is like hearing about my own from an outside perspective. I really needed this video.
I think a significant portion of my family are on the neurodivergent spectrum (autism, adhd), due to the fact that of how I was raised(?) My dad taught me the importance of eye contact and how looking someone in the eyes shows the speaker that you understand and are listening to what they are saying. My grandfather on my mothers side will focus on solely one thing for days at a time (during summer break he played pac man and king kong everyday after dinner for a few weeks, and if you tried talking to him he wouldn’t respond because of how focused he was on the activity at hand.), he struggles with change, especially if it is something last minute that wasn’t on the agenda. A lot of the things my dad and my grandfather did when they were children and do now I relate with as well. With researching in autism, I notice little things that I didn’t before in my family members, and I notice the little things I do as well.
Speaking of being interested in niche subjects… hoo boy…
Remember that weird as hell fever dream of a time in the late 90s to early 2000s when Klasky Csupo (the animation company behind shows like Rugrats, Wild Thornberrys, Rocket Power, etc.) made a cartoon in collaboration with McDonald’s, the episodes of which were sold by the chain on VHS, and had a number of well known voice actors on its cast like Dee Bradley Baker, Charlie Adler, Jim Cummings, and the late Christine Cavanaugh, among many others?
When I was in middle school (in the early 2010s) I had, like, such a fixation on these tapes. They would be my main target at the thrift stores and I would always watch them. Couldn’t tell you why.
My great aunt lived in a small village and had a really cool yard with two fully functional miniature windmills on stilts that you could spin and turn. I loved to turn the wings and watch them swoosh along closely to my face. She also had a little vegetable garden that was fenced im with a tiny adorable fence to keep her dog from digging in it. Back when I was very little I loved to use the little fence door as my toy to endlessly play "putting my child to bed and closing the door and then opening the door again and wishing my child good morning". Like really that was the game and I would play it over and over again for the entire visit. 😅
Okay this is so me! “I don’t want residue”, like, I really hate getting residue/ the feeling of sticky things/ food on my hands & also clothing that doesn’t feel right on my body, or socks that’s too tight around my ankles etc etc. As soon as I get home I take my socks off because it feels like the upper part of the sock (can’t remember what it’s called now) is cutting into my skin. I’m not officially diagnosed with autism, but I can relate to a lot of things you’re talking about.
I used to sit on the kitchen tile in my most soft pajama pants so that I could get the least amount of friction in my spins. For hours.
diagnosed last week, aged 26, got told all of the things my mum informed of my childhood were incredibly indicative… it was a lot of this list…
I would line up all the Polly Pocket figures and clothes by type, and then be done playing with them. I did become aware that I did this as I grew older and wondered what was wrong with me that I didn't want to play with them more by making a story up. Makes sense in retrospect after learning I'm autistic.
i was like that with my barbies. i would change their outfit, fix their hair, reorganize their clothing organizer… and be done with barbie playtime after that. but with my Neopets plushies, i controlled playtime which was just making paper cutouts of items and currency and then trading bits of paper.
same omg
When she was talking about organizing and lining up toys, I immediately thought of my Polly pockets and grouping all of the shoes, skirts, etc.
@katiewompus Aw, that's so fun to hear that it wasn't just me!
Same🥲 Thank you for making me feel normal❤
very important comment that i absolutely have to post: paige, your vest looks soft, and i like it.
As a kid I had a very difficult time managing my emotions in a way that seemed logical to other people. Shock or grief would often make me smile or grin uncontrollably, which I was extremely ashamed of. Meanwhile anger, fear, embarassment/guilt or in general dysregulation and overstimulation would make me cry. As a result I was often called insensitive, whiny, manipulative. I regularily just went to swimming practice sobbing violently just because I didn't want to go, but I giggled like a clown toy when my mom told me that my rabbit had died.
i get those random creative lightbulb moments right before bed all the timeeee😭and I have adhd too so its a double whammy
I.I 🤔🤔
Not me who used to line up her teddies by 'family' and size order and ate a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, a penguin bar and a packet of walkers cheese and onion crisps for lunch every single day, except for Saturday, when it was heinz macaroni cheese, because Saturday was ballet day. Recently diagnosed with adhd, now questioning autism too. I also knew pretty much everything there was to know about cats, and the lord of the rings
The thing about having trouble going to bed in a timely manner because the brain is still highly active, and is probably the most active at that time of day for that person, is also a common experience for people with ADHD. It seems this is just a common trait for most neurodivergent people in general.
The residues on the hands is a big one. I've always excessively washed my hands, and my hands can not be oily or sweaty or greasy in any way shape or form.
my favorite part of playing was setting everything up, making sure every single thing was perfect, which was tricky with younger siblings
As an adult i have found my love of swaying and movement has meant that using an electric scooter to get around the city is stimulating in the exact right away
I am an autistic individual, but have also been diagnosed with BPD...which I think is wrong...
BPD came about because of my eating issues and my "issues with emotional control..."
BPD can go out a window. Ive been trying to fight that diagnosis, and it hurts when people dont listen.
Thank you, Paige, for being a voice those who struggle to find their own ❤️
I've read that awareness is growing that some people diagnosed with BPD might actually be autistic. So it's saddening that you've been given that diagnosis and you're trying to fight it. Good luck ❤
Same. ❤❤❤
I have autism and bipolar disorder, but I wonder if it’s just autism that causes me to stay up for most of 5 days researching or collecting or obsessing on a hobby and then crash. I don’t really get depressed…I just wear myself out. A lot of psychiatrists don’t fully understand “high functioning” autism, IMO. I had one psychiatrist who was really intent on a BPD diagnosis, also. It didn’t actually stick, though
I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline). I got rid of it when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I didn't get my autism diagnosis until later.
Look at the DSM 5 requirements for Borderline. See if you really meet them. I didn't but because I harmed myself I was diagnosed with it.
@@Catlily5 That's probably why I did too! Thank you!
Legitimately passing out in my stroller or in a chair as soon as drums started in a marching band or any other loud noise startled my nervous system.
👍👍 sorting pencils by color or length and then lining up the tips perfectly to make a little circle. Subtly changing math questions before answering them. Playing with rocks by breaking them with bigger rocks 🤷🏼♀️
My colored pencils must be in rainbow colored order! Even now.
Hey Paige! Gestalt language learning such a "totally cromulent" way to learn that it "embiggens" my heart!😂 When I was under 2 years old in my crib, I was awakened EVERY morning by my dad brushing his teeth (which involved MUCH coughing, as I realized later, for the sole purpose of waking me up -- he wouldn't have opened my door and would have closed the adjacent bathroom door.) He's 87, and is still the same. I cannot believe how much of my life has been influenced by the "adults" in charge not making the effort to simply ask what I wanted or needed, even though I was capable of telling them. Love the quasi-Princess Leia hair!💕
❤
I definitely feel the most awake and motivated before bedtime. 😭
Me too. Needing to go to sleep wakes me up.
me: "no, i don't have sleep issues"
also me: insomniac child, semi-regular sleep paralysis, every time i explain exploding head syndrome to someone they look at me REAL crazy
The vestibular motion thing is funny because I've learned recently that I actually LIKE roller coasters. I always thought I wouldn't enjoy them but turns out I do! I'm realizing that I've always just liked some "slightly extreme but mostly safe" physical sensations like spinning, heights, going fast, etc.(except those Viking boat style rides. Not for me🙅🏾♀️)
"every time i explain exploding head syndrome"
Someone ELSE has this?! I thought it was a symptom of my schizophrenia 😭
@@wintergray1221 🤝 you're not the only one! I just had it happen again a few days ago! It used to scare me, now I'm just used to it hehe
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT UNTIL I'VE READ THIS COMMENT I HADN'T EVER HEARD OF EHS AND I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND OMG OMG OMG EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. THIS SOUNDS DRAMATIC BUT ILYSM YOU LITERALLY JUST MADE ME REALISE I'M NOT FREAKING CRAZY OR HAVE SOME KINF OF PROBLEM AHHHHH 😭❤❤❤❤
Exploding head syndrome, that's me at night and bad hypnogogia. Also movement, twirling, swings I can do for hours and hours and did as a kid as well.
How about boats? Is this boatly swinging motion good or unpleasant for you? I feel there is a difference but i don’t know why. 🤔
I collected rocks and loved the blue shiny ones called peacock ore so much to the point that I named my pet rat “Peacock” 😂 HOW DID MY PARENTS NOT KNOW
I had colic as a baby, I would cry over everything.
I literally knot the diolog to every Disney TV show and movie, live action and animated cuz I've seen them thousands of times. Even the old ones from 20-30 years ago I still remember all the diolog. I'm able to watch Disney movies in my head without needed to actually play the movie cuz I can see it in my minds eye.
I love to spin, and rock, and swing. I could do it all day long and not be bored of it.
I would spend HOURS in my room organizing and arranging my movies, CDs, and books until I had them lined up just right the way that I liked. I would organize by genre, by author, by series, by size, by color, by artist, by which one I loved more, by what I was currently reading/watching/listening to.
I am an only child so I leaned from a young age to be comfortable in my own company and play alone. When I was in kindergarten my teacher tried to hold me back cuz I wouldn't interact/play with other kids and she was worried there was something mentally wrong with me and told my mom that the only way I would be advanced to first grade was if I was put in therapy and taught how to be normal. So from them on my mom was super strict about me being quiet, and calm, and to stay still, and to stop fidging, and to act my age. So after 20+ years of hiding who I really am, I recently started the process of unmasking and found out that I'm autistic.
I've also had several bathroom accidents when I was a kid. I'm embarrassed to say that when I was very young I had a tendency to piss and poop my pants cuz I didn't realize I had to go until I felt it in my pants. I got made fun of a ton cuz of this cu I was the only kid to still have accidents. But as I got older and leaned to control it and leaned to listen to my body now I don't have any accidents anymore.
I used to get in so much trouble as a kid for being to sensitive or overly emotional or having an anger temper tantrum over things that didn't effect others. At my dad's funeral I was extremely upset and I was crying non stop but I also was surrounded by so many people and family members and everyone was trying to comfort me which made me feel really uncomfortable.
I'm OBSESSED with anything Disney or supernatural or fantasy related, I'm obsessed with stuffed animals and dolls. I used to have an entire closet filled with buckets of rocks. Any time I was outside and saw a pretty rock, I wanted to keep it. So my mom's step dad would always buy me those kids buckets and shovel and I filled thousands of those little buckets with hundreds of rocks and he allowed me to store them in a spare closet he had at his house. Then after a few years when it got full and he died and we had to clean out his apartment my mom made me get rid of them all. I miss collecting rocks, it was so much fun.
One time I had left a stuffed animals in the car and right at bed time I had a panic attack and was screaming and crying and I was scared for my stuffed animal cuz they were out in the dark in the car all alone and I was afraid something bad would happen to it, so to shut me up and make me go to bed my dad went out to the car to get it for me. I put it on my bed with me alone with all the others and fell asleep instantly.
I hate getting messy/dirty or making a mess while I have fun. My mom was a stickler for keeping the house clean as well so me being non messy was a great thing.
I definitely have sleep issues. I will stay up and do things tomorrow my mind busy until I feel dead on my feet and ready to pass out. I can not sit in the dark and silence with just my thoughts, it gives me anxiety and makes me uncomfortable and then I can't sleep and it leads to insomnia.
All this....and people don't believe that I'm autistic, I had to self diagnose myself Thu research from online and TH-cam videos.
I recently went back to therapy after not going for a decade and I'm trying to get my Drs to test me for ADHD, autistim, and OCD. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 5 years old and yes I very much do have those, but I feel like I have more then just those 2 things going on in my brain and no one will test me or believe me.
8 out of those 10 things you listed are an exact description of a few of my friends from the days when we were kids. It explains a lot about them and wherever they are, I hope they found themselves.
Colic….nobody ever discussed that this was sensory issues/overload!?😮😮😮 Yet received an SPD diagnosis at 3. Now it makes sense. Thanks for this tidbit
As a newborn, I screamed for 18-20 hours a day. The pediatrician didn't believe my mom and blamed it on her over-reacting as a first time mother. So she started keeping a diary and showed it to the pediatrician on our next visit. He prescribed Paragoric (sp?) to help me with my colic. I probably did sleep more, I was also stoned out my baby gourd on opium.
Everything you're saying describes me. But when I was a kid in the 1970s, not alot was known about autism. I'm hyperlexic so I don't fit the old stereotype of an autistic, i.e. nonverbal and mentally challenged. If I were a kid today, I would definitely be diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.
I'm waiting for the day when all the puzzle pieces click together for my parents and they recognize my neurodiversity as something I don't control. I wasn't being mean when I pulled away from their touch, i wasn't being picky when I insisted on eating the same lunch throughout my school career, and I'm not deliberately sabotaging myself at work and losing jobs
PDA makes so much sense. When you said I'm busy don't tell me what to do I used to do that and then not be able to hold it when I slept
Rythm and tapping there's a lot for me
Probably related to the pattern stuff tho
mimicking patterns that soothe me
especially from childhood :>
Honestly your videos became such a save space for me over the last few months. I (27) just got recently diagnosed with Autism in combination with ADHD and your videos provide so much information and also empathy (make this sense? I’m from germany and english is not my mother language, despite to my also existing communication problems lol) as I feel so much understood and finally have the vocabulary for all these things I recognized my whole life but couldn’t name. A genuine thank you, you helped at least one person to picture a better life and helped a lot
My 12 year old daughter was just diagnosed with autism. Your videos are helpful for me to understand what she may have gone through.
12:46 yea this is a sign, i know a lot of autistics like this. But from personal experience ( im autistic) it can go the other way around. I was vary sensory seeking and you could always find me in the mud/water i loved rolling in grass also.but not sand! I hate sand... just wanted to add this if anyone relates to me.
I used to spend tons of time every night straightening the tassels on the rug lol
I'm 26 and have been going down the, "I was undiagnosed my entire life" rabbit hole since age 22. You're giving me more proof! I didn't even know some of this stuff was related to autism. The inappropriate emotional responses...I have an uncontrollable urge to laugh at funerals, physical pain and serious situations like when I'm being yelled at or in a room where someone is yelling. Being itchy makes me want to cry. I hate having wet hands so I hate washing my hands (I use hand sanitizer) and I hate washing dishes. So many special interests that have been with me since I could speak. Just wow
i fucking HATE washing dishes. rubber gloves!!! mom on the spectrum also found this & it changed her world. i love these women they saved me. 49 here.
I relate to a lot of this, but play that involved getting dirty was my fav. Digging in mud, climbing trees, rolling done hills. might have been sensory seeking.
Number 3 proprioception. I love this info. I am autistic myself undiagnosed. I have 5 kids three are diagnosed and two are slipping through the cracks. Thank you so much for what you do. Awareness is so important!
Separation anxiety was a big one for me. I didn't get diagnosed until much later, but when I was little I had trouble coping with changes in routine, new environments, new people, etc... If I had a parent or another "safe" adult with me to offer reassurance I would usually be okay, but if not... OOF...
As always, thanks for the video.
I suspect that a couple of my children and my husband have autism. My husband and young son definitely fall into the camp of wanting to avoid mess and the sensation of getting messy with things like mud and finger paints.
However, my teenage daughter, who we have known since she was about four, has SPD, and she had both sensory-avoidant and sensory-seeking behaviors. Her seeking behaviors have always come across in wanting to coat her skin in mud, squish her hands through paint, dish soap, ketchup and mustard (when young). She avoids more gritty-feeling textures, but she is more likely to seek out “messy” things. Just wanted to put that out there that not all autistic kids avoid mess, so don’t rule it out if your kiddo seeks out slimy messes.
Clarification: We’ve known since she was four that she has SPD ✨
You are so funny and made my day! I am having a hard time with the fact that my child is on the spectrum. I cry everyday she is my first and only child. No knowing how she is going to turn out is killing me. Like I know it’s not the end of the world but I was different growing up and I suffered and I don’t want my child to go through the same. So after my crying spell I came across your video and you are so funny! Thank you because I need this laugh. I literally canceled an interview bc this is just so hard to accept.
This is my son and I to a T
Everything is the ick, overwhelming and intense.
Thank you for making me feel less weird and alone 💜
Your son and you sound funny :)
Solidarity-Request: I found someone insulting individual disabled people but also the whole concept of them. Does anyone want to ask me where so they can voice their support?
That’s interesting because I loved every kind of sensory play as a child. I loved paint, I loved mud, I loved outdoor play and climbing trees as long as I could wash it all off after.
I hated fingerpaint and water. I liked certain sensory things and loved others.
I always wished I could like it as well when I saw the other kids playing in the mud having so much fun.
THE CRYING AT FUNERALS THING???? i thought i was a psychopath 😞😞 this makes me feel so seen
Laughing at funerals of people I didn’t know well has gotten me into some trouble!
I'm the complete OPPOSITE at funerals. Once the flood gates open (and it really doesn't take much) I cannot STOP and I can't cry quietly or subtly either - it's a loud, hysterical SOB and I get SO embarrassed.
It even happens at funerals for people I don't know very well like my partner's Great Grandma's funeral - I only had to look at someone else who was emotional/crying/tearful and it would set me off and I'd struggle to control it!
I have a funeral coming up in a couple weeks' time for my Gran-in-law who I was super close to and I'm DREADING it!!!!
I’d like to hire you to attend my funeral!! 😂
Between your videos and a few others I was able to piece together enough information to finally get my child tested. We test next week. I never realized things were traits until you gave specific examples. Then it triggered memories of wait she did that. So thank you!!
I loved sorting and organizing things. Collecting things is perfect for this.
Girl, all of this is my oldest son. He is 10 and autistic and amazing. He is OBSESSED with the Titanic and has been for almost 3 yrs now. He has 3 friends at school, 2 of which are twin girls and also on the spectrum. His 3 friends came for his birthday and they all got him titanic themed items for his birthday. He is the best kid and I’m so thankful to be blessed to have him as my son. Love your content.
I can relate to experiencing literally every single point! I had collic til i was 3 and refused to walk properly or talk til 4. Was diagnosed with ADHD at 4. It costs $2,500-5,000 to get an autism assessment as an adult, in Canada :(. Your videos help me feel alot less alone and that "its not all in my head".
That's why I'm obsessed with roller coasters!!! 😮
And why I giggled through my Dad's (greatest man I've ever known) funeral.
I only recently got told I’m autistic when I went to see my psychiatrist for an ADHD diagnosis (got that too hahah double whammy) but OMG, so much of what you just listed was me. WHY DID NOBODY NOTICE? 😂 It’s so obvious looking back.
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN IN A VIDEO 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩! In my case, what I remember of my childhood is that I had comprehension problems (especially with text reading) and I had to double my first and second grades once each to improve my skills. That was even before I knew I am autistic, but I still got lots of help from my parents and my schools. Also, I was the kid who prefered playing alone with animal-shaped toys instead of playing with the other kids.
I'm AuDHD and I was the opposite (and still am sometimes) with mud and puddles and sand and dirt. I would lie down in the puddles and cover myself with dirt and mud. My mom has told me that she had a hard time finding me on rainy days in kindergarden, because I was so covered in dirt I was unrecognizable.
😂😂😂 You cracked me up! That’s so funny 😆❤️
😂
Oh I so relate to the video song at the end. I still do that too, and I'm old. My sing songy stuff used to really get on peoples nerves when I was a kid.
Great that you educate people on these important topics
So much of this seems just like my 9 year old daughter. She's diagnosed ADHD but I've always strongly suspected autism. It's expensive to get a diagnosis in the U.S... not to mention difficult. One autism specialist already said she does not have it because "she can talk and make eye contact." But I tend to look to resources for autistic kids and their parents to help me understand and support her. I appreciate these videos. Even if she's not autistic she shares many traits.
thank you for sharing your experiences bc like. u know the feeling of desperately trying to find something to relate to with others in order to find yourself? watching your videos fulfills that completely like i want to happy cry. i loved the part abt the trash … when i was in elementary at recess i wanted to play imagination games all the time but couldn’t always find ppl to play with, i think third grade i would collect all the dead grass and litter in the soccer field and make a big pile of dead grass and trash and think of it as a nest and lay in it. i remember feeling so lonely and wanting to connect with others so badly and just thinking through everything social with a heavy wistful lonely sadness while sitting in my nest. it comforted me. held me. now that i think back on it i can see all the layers to why i loved my nest and remaking it each time it left. why i loved going foraging and taking all the pieces of litter i found back to my nest 🥹 the ways in which i expressed my emotions and empathy. thank u for keeping me company :) BYE! ✌️
Weirdly I have and had the exact opposite reaction to funerals. Even people I didn't really know I got very very upset; even more than the close family.
SLEEP, dear god that is so relatable, when Harry Potter book 5 came out I pulled several all nighters because I kept telling myself I'd read just one more chapter and I wasn't tired yet... I never knew when I was tired. FUN TIMES.
Stomach stuff..., the whole rubbish/ garbage thing and sensory issues with touching things... All relatable.
I can cry at funerals where I barely know the person. It is embarrassing because I don't want to cry when the family isn't.
Completely relatable. I still remember the first one I went to. I was crying more than the family and it was horrible.@@Catlily5
My son is autistic and has ADHD (diagnosed in Nov 2022 at 15 years old)) and couldn’t care less about messes. He has been this way since he was little. I was told it’s one extreme or the other with Autism.
Yes.Everything you said I get it.Plus I loved finding little spaces where I could hide.That could be a closet or under my bed or under the sink or I would build a little fort or wherever I could disappear for awhile even in kindergarten.I really liked your video.
In early childhood I was a sensory seeker in terms of touch in terms of things like eating with my hands, and splashing when bathing in the sink, and playing in the mud, which I think is one thing that made it a little less obvious. My most obvious sign though was communicating in gestures and sounds when my friends who were only a month different in age from me were communicating with simple sentences. Also running in circles and intense interests made it more obvious that it was Autism, and I think making more detailed pictures than other children, and having better long term memory could also be related to me being Autistic. Also I had echolalia, and scripting, which I feel are natural Autism things, but are also masking things to some extent as well.
As for the "tubes in your ears that sense orientation"... It gets stronger with less bloodflow/airflow, as it causes a puckering in that area. As a kid, i used that to stim, leaning my neck/jaw on curved surfaces like the handle of a walking bike to get that puckering sensation while swaying side to side.
For sleep as a baby I was the opposite of you. I slept so much that my mum had to wake me up to feed me. I slept through the night at 4 weeks old. Throughout my childhood I would just go to sleep any time I was tired, it didn't matter where I was, didn't bother me if that meant that I missed dinner etc.
As an adult I have more trouble sleeping, having a weighted blanket helps, sometimes I need to use my loops and have a fan on for white noise also.
I loved counting things ~ anything.. beams on ceilings, bricks on walls and finding the middle one , dividing things in even groups etc etc
Hi Paige! I missed your videos!!! Also, did you know- you were the first Autistic TH-camr that I started following. And you are in a painting I recently have been working on.
13:44 YUK! I have always had issues with water. Moisture, like, YUK!
i did like playing in the mud however. But i had to wash up as soon as I was done playing, must stay dry!
3 hours to fall asleep. Even when I was a tiny kiddo, three hours. I was not set up for sleeping at a set time.
My hands have always burned when I’m drying. I avoided water, like the plague. No sleep, either.
Paige, I’m like halfway in and I absolutely relate to every single one of these traits…. Especially the digestive issues later in life in mid 20s. I had my gallbladder taken out because of so much pain. That didn’t help, at all..I’m overstimed rn. So gonna finish this video later! ❤ Thank you for this content!
The PIECES OF GARBAG istg. In my city the pavement cleaners used these big brooms with thick red bristles, and every so often they would break off and lie on the pavement. When I tell you I loved collecting these bright red plastic sticks because I felt so bad that they had lost their broom! 😢
Both of my kids both with different things they don’t like don’t like baths at all. Both don’t like they hair brushed are cut. Both don’t like there ears to be touch , Don’t like being tickle a lot . Only want hug when they both want them . Don’t like there teeth cleaned . Thank u for sharing love seeing your side helps me think maybe my daughter is that way to . Daughter is nonverbal and son talks.
There's a phrase to describe children who learn to speak in phrases (whether autistic or not). Gestalt Language Processing. It's super fascinating to learn about.
I didn’t realize the feeling of going to the bathroom was related w/ autism. I’m 30 & self diagnosed until I can afford to get my diagnosis. This information helps me very much know I’m not just silly for this. Thank you!
5:00 this sounds EXACTLY like my younger cousin! He wants to play but then changes things on a whim, but at the same time gets mad at anyone who makes a small 'mistake' in the playing. He's gotten better though, and he's still young and obviously I can't blame him. We just go along with it and try to treat him nicely!
And for me, I dunno if I'm autistic at all but I definitely have some sort of level of sensory issues. I HATE it when people touch me, I get physically sick at theme parks, I tend to panic or get frustrated when its too loud or crowded.. stuff like that.
This was very interesting to me. As a kid, I would spend hours organizing fingernail polish by size and color. Sometimes I would make them into little families lol. I have also always collected rocks. A lot of the things you listed actually really made me think of my childhood. And now I’m raising an autistic child who relates to a lot of these as well.
I’m not diagnosed with autism, but diagnosed with GAD/OCD and Depression, but I think I might be autistic. Especially since my mother told me that I was always a nervous child. I still remember very early memories of being very sensitive (and still am ) to loud noises and just intense moments. I would close my ears a lot. As well as be a very moody and introverted kid, she said I would be very quiet and play by myself. I also still am and even as a kid have hated like playing in mud, water, slime , grass, trees, and just over all getting dirty
Aww you are adorable!! You seem like a great teacher and great person!