Desperate Defense: Wooden Board
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ค. 2019
- This episode is sponsored by Simple Contacts. Visit simplecontacts.com/rogue & use code ROGUE at checkout to get $20 off your contacts (and make us look good)!
You spawn in an enclosed construction site; dampened footsteps scurry over you from the floor above. Each passing step makes more obvious their hostile intentions, and the fear of survival consumes you. OSHA required all equipment to be safely stored elsewhere, but a careless worker left a wooden 2x4 out. Do you wield it in defense?
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Additional Information
Playlist for all Desperate Defense Weeks
• Desperate Defense
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Items From This Video (affiliate links)
A Guide To Improvised Weaponry
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This video was made with the help of:
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*trips up mugger by throwing 2x4 at their feet* CAUSE I’M A MODERN ROOOOOOOOOGUE!!!
*Says while running down the street*
Street Smarts!
Mugger/Brian: what is this Scooby Doo shit?!
CAUSE I'M A MODERN ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGUUUUUUUUUUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta be accurate with that spelling.
P1 “What are we?”
P2 “We’re Muggers...”
P1 “And what do we do?”
P2 “We mug”
P1 “So what are we gonna do?”
P2 “Were gonna mug ‘em...”
P1 & P2. “SO LETS MUG EM!”
I low-key love the desperate defense stuff since as much as I like just watching cool 'fighting.' I more so enjoy Jason and Brian nearly killing themselves with desperate defense tactics. Also, to make this a yearly tradition is so fun!!! Good work guys!!!
Thanks!!
@@ModernRogue You're so so welcome!!! :D
Lovely, beautiful, thank you my friends. Also, I think that the 2x4 is meant to be longer. Like, uh 5 feet or something.
That's what killed me about going for the legs, obviously if you're building a house you're using a longer 2x4
Which also with a longer 2x4 improves the chances of hitting the toes or foot. Even if you miss as long as it's between the legs a quick toss to side twists up the feet same as throwing it, or a quick swing northward if being attacked by a dude...
Yeah my first thought for the toes was hold a longer one by/near the top and kinda jackhammer it down
To clarify, even with a 10 foot long 2x4, poking at the toes and tripping folks is an awful idea. Just smack the fucker.
Then it'd be a 2×5 right?
If it was longer I think it would’ve worked better in general especially at the toes
IF it was any longer it would be a bat, longer again for most it would be unwieldy.
@@wobblysauce I mean if you need a weapon in a desperate situation you don't really have the liberty of choosing the lenght.
but then it's easier to miss because you have less control of the end, and instead, if you are trying to restrict mobility, why not just go for the knee, shin, or head and then run.
I think the shin is a good target if you plan on attacking and running away. Assuming the board is long enough, a downward stabby stab that scrapes down the shin from the knee to the ankle is going to be extremely painful and disabling enough to allow an escape. That's assuming it's safe for you to do so, meaning they're not armed and you can get the jump on them.
@@wobblysauce if it was longer it would still be a 2x4.
The method for attacking the toes is if you had a long piece of wood. So that you can reach them and still not be close enough to so that they can hurt you.
Wouldn't it also be a good distraction by throwing it at their legs, possibly take it out or more like distract them enough to run out of there?
I'd try more for the top of the foot, rather than the toes. Larger target, and unless they have metatarsal shoes on, you will get results.
The longer pieces would also help in the tripping a pursuer up tactic. Makes for a better chance of hitting both legs and not just having it bounce off of one leaving an owie.
Aim for the shin trying to break it because the shin hurts a shit ton when you get hit by a sharp edge
Hot Yeah! It's Inevitable Injury Week!!!
Hot Yeah! indeed my fellow modern rogue.
@@edu-kt #HotYeah
It happened!
Did anyone else think of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode? "He's got a board with a nail in it! Run!!!"
First thing I thought of too. 😂
“Up next, on an all new episode of Desperate Defence: for when you’re walking through an museum; the broadsword.”
Guys- Don’t hold your breath when you swing a weapon- you tense up your core and lose a lot of strength. Exasperate or shout- but holding your breath makes a NOT “extremely effective weapon”
Interesting tip! I'd never thought about that.
You loose strength when you tense your core? Maybe I misunderstand your point but that’s exactly what you should do to produce more force. That’s why powerlifters hold their breath and tense to lift maximal weight.
JukeBox Hazzerdd - when you hold your breath, you lose pliability that is needed to transfer motion from your hips to your shoulders- your core should be able to move- in a full-body kinematic chain, the muscles of your core should be active and not static: tensing your core removes the ability to use those muscles for dynamic motion, as they become static.
JukeBox Hazzerdd There is a difference between lifting and swinging a weapon- Lifting you need to transfer energy a different way, with swinging a weapon, you’re trying to accelerate a relatively small mass to a speed where the force is higher and you need those kinematic chains to transfer motion-
Jay Howard Thanks for clarifying!
Toe hits are for when you have a much longer board. - And longer boards are much harder to swing bat-style.
Jason and Brian dropping acid and running around the compound in the middle of the night... now THAT is the episode I want to see.
Oh man. Hitting someone in the kidneys with a 2x4. Or anything really. Dudes in for a bad day.
Seriously, that's what I was thinking. In reality, a good strike anywhere would mess pretty much anyone up.
imagine a dude getting caught on the side of the neck, or for something a bit less lethal the collarbone (although with how bad a broken clavicle hurts he'd probably want to die :V)
Ain't gonna work if you got your kidney out
liver
0:38
Ha! You thought I didn’t notice the soundbite of the scream was taken from the infamous Jason scream! I CAUGHT YOU.
7:45
On the toe part, you should do that after the limbs and prodding. Disable him first then disable him further.
On the throwing part. Throw it hard and spinning so it would actually work.
I can verify that, having gotten hit by a falling treated 2x12x16 that you will be out for the count for a while.
2x12s are no joke. That about 20 quarterstaves that you haven't cut apart yet.
Woo hoo I have something to watch. I'm stuck in my house because I live in Colorado and it started snowing at the end of May Hooray
Same
I know right? What the hell is going on with the weather?
@@devildham its Colorado, we guess the weather by rolling dice
Gotta appreciate the logic of "Don't go for the head, it's fast-moving and small... The toes! Go for the toes!"
Desperate Defense week continues with Brian Brushwood and Mantis Toboggan
Damn those magic cops and beady eyed doctors always taking Jason's thumbs.
Holy shit, desperate defence was already a year ago?! It feels like just a couple months...
Book: Dont aim for the head its hard to hit
Also Book: AIM FOR THE TOES AND POKE AT THE JAW!
Holy shit! realizing its been a year since the last desperate defence!! theres no way ive seen a years worth of modern rogue! amazing jobs guys love ya!
Ah yes, Jason did the Nord scream at the cold open. That would never stop being iconic.
You should do a Desperate Defense episode using a belt. You think he's unarmed...but he's wearing a belt! Belts can be good whips, flails, or a rope; they can break bones, strangle, trip up your foes, shatter windows, and keep your pants up!
That's a Pootie Tang thang'. th-cam.com/video/F29OdRpmbvg/w-d-xo.html
I love coming home from work, relaxing, and watching a new video from my favorite youtube channel.
I love this alternate Texas where magicians (and Jason) are locked in a secret struggle with the magic cops but it mostly comes down to beating each other with boards.
YES! So glad you brought back this series
Please learn how to make traps like pit traps from stuff in your garden
Daniel Agafonov I think booby traps constitute a war crime... I like it
Lmao they would probably lose one only for it to re-appear in another video
Desperate Defense: Full-Windsor Knot
Extreme Prejudice: Bolo Tie
I always enjoy how much fun you guys have doing this.
That intro was precious
I love to see you guys use impact indicators in the future to get a better idea of how lethal a impact is
that “what are you, a cop?” was perfect and it embodies my entire existence as a person.
Hold up
"The head is a fast moving target."
And the arms are not?
a lot slower than the head I can tell you.
The arms are more predictable than the head. You have fewer options when moving them.
If a 2x4 is coming for your side, are you sure you wanna move your arm away from it? Lol
Arms don't have eyes
Have you guys ever considered making flash paper / gun cotton? It's pretty easy to do with cotton balls, drain cleaner and stump remover. Plus I think it'd make for a pretty cool episode.
Funny you should mention that...
4:55 - You're thinking of if they're riding a bike, jamming it in their spokes; not between their legs. ¬_¬
5:21 - Where do you _not_ find a 2×4 lying around. 🤨
*Brian throws 2x4 at mugger running around the corner.*
*Mugger with Metal Gear Solid question mark:* The fuck was that?
*Brian:* Shit.
SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEEEEEEEE?????????????
Two things about the two ridiculous methods. 1. How awkward it is for going for the toes is dependant on the length of the 2x4. In the same region though, you coukd go for the knees. Less awkward in general, less likely to miss, and satisfies the purpose of slowing them down in the case they're pursuing you.
2. Dodging behind a corner. I thibk the best thing to do if you've ducked behind a corner, is nothing. Most likely, your pursuer will run right by you, you can run back the way you came, and your pursuer will be none the wiser. If they DO happen to catch a glimpse of you, they're gonna have to pull a 180, and while they're doing that, go for the knees or head as hard as you can.
I love the "what happened to your thumb" bit, lol.
Ah, yet another purple heart awarded to Jason. Ouch.
Erai Hiryuu Got a small scar! 😁
@@TheStrangerous Oh noes, demand a personal first aid budget!
Next time he won't cut towards himself with a knife.
In my experience, the best place to get someone with a 2x4 is right under the armpit. Usually you do it when they are raising their arms to attack you with something[ie. baseball bat] and you jam it as hard as you can into the arm pit. Dislocates the shoulder and if they bring an arm to deflect, that arm is broken.
I saw the title and thought “that’s something the modern rogue should do” and I think I’m actually connected to the universe because then I went to watch it and saw that it was you guys and I’m like damn okay that’s awesome
Jason: "Wood You!?"
Brian: "I wood! I wood poke them!"
Best desperate defence on a construction site... Nail gun.... Done.😎 🤣🤣🤣
For me this would be home defense. When my grandpa tore up our basement to turn it from a reverse attic to an actual room, we had tons of 2x4s left over.
This can work with a bat, so it would probably work with a plank of wood:
Put your sock over the end of it (your weapon). It’s thin enough that it won’t hinder the effectiveness of the weapon, but if your attacker tries to grab hold of it, the sock will slip off, and they’ll be left with a sock instead of your weapon. Now you have another chance to crack them upside the head.
Only Modern Rogue could make a video about a 2x4 interesting and entertaining
I’m so glad DDW wasn’t just a one-time thing.
I literally watched 8 minutes of two guys playing with a wooden board and it was still entertaining.
Instead of toes you hit the side of the knee, it doesn’t take much to snap it plus it also forces them to drop whatever they’re holding in their hands
The board is an effective weapon for sure I can't wait to see what else you guys test out though! I've seen you guys get pretty creative for desperate defense week it should be interesting
(1) Hands are great targets not just (though certainly important) because they are likely armed. We instinctively use our hands and arms to defend ourselves, so rather than move them out of harms way like our head, we often move them instinctively INTO harms way (defensive wounds are almost always to the hands and forearms). Thus, you are likely to hit.
Also, hands are bony - rather than fleshy - and the bones are small, making them more susceptible to taking actual damage (breaks) from being hit with a 2x4 (which honestly has less strength than many larger bones).
(2) You guys were assuming the 2x4 would always be in the 2-3 foot section - when most on a construction sight are going to be studs - just short of 8 feet long. Suddenly jabbing rather than swinging becomes even more obvious, but also you would have the reach to make blows to the feet, ankles, or knees. Sure, steel toe boots make toes a no go, but having your toes in tennis shoes being force-jammed with an 8' 2x4 is going to make you hobble more than long enough for someone to run away. Force twisting an ankle or hitting a knee hard enough to stop pursuit is also possible (even a shin hit might trip them up).
Likewise, putting a twig in their spokes for running makes much more sense with an 8 foot length that they cannot just kick away with momentum.
Finally a continuation
Also holy shit how has it been a year since the first series of these.
This is by far the best channel on youtube
"just drop acid" lmao
Nice video guys this content is actually worth watching
"Any long sticky-stick." - Brian Brushwood, 2019
Reason #2,581 to why I come back to watch every time they upload. You guys are the best.
I love you.
Hypeee for the desperate defense series again!
Re: TOES. I haven't seen the book, but I'm guessing breakdown an arm, hit the side of the knee, THEN smash the toes to make your getaway.
It's the same book that advises you to shove a nail up your ass to use in case of an emergency. Aiming only for the toes for some strange reason seems like something that would fit in the book.
I absolutely love this channel
I don't want to 2x4 shame but I feel like y'alls should be longer
hah
Yes! More desperate defense! I’m so glad this is back!
To quote Marcus Cole from _Babylon 5_ - "you can achieve more with a kind word and a two-by-four than with just a kind word."
I like the fact that they seem to have completely disregarded the fact that a 2x4 can be longer than two feet.
The Modern Rogue is a strict upgrade from Mythbusters.
There. I said it.
Agreed
Ever since the original Mythbusters ended, yes
Yet more reason I think they need to Team up with Adam Savage
I think the techniques the book mention, like going for the toes or making them trip, is meant to be used with longer planks, where you don't have to bend to reach the toes, or it's easier to make people trip. Still a good vid.
I think to go for the toes they expect you to have a slightly longer 2x4 so you can just jam it down
Still a terrible tactic
John wick tutorial 101 😂😂😂 love these guys af 😍😍😍
Desperate Defense Week is vastly superior to Shark Week.
Change my mind.
Just kidding.
You can't.
Combine em
BTW: Advocates for a longer 2x4, I say, "No way." The longer the board, the slower the majority of your attacks, especially swings.
Honestly you dont lose much speed, and it makes the toe strikes much more valuable.
This looked like a good length for swings and jabs, but the toes and tripping seem like techniqies to make up for the clunkiness of a longer one
Tripping's a joke. Honestly, you're already running, and you stop to through your last ditch weapon at your pursuer's feet???
I agree that the board could be a little longer like a bat, but some people are talking about a 5ft long 2x4. Ok for standoff, but I'll punch you in the face before you can finish your swing.
@@timlundy757 so don't swing. they specifically emphasize jabbing
No one:
Jason: *YA BANKED MA SHIN, NOW YA DED*
What I like about this is that you don't have to be in the defensive position for it to work.
I really wanna see Brian and Murphy give a J.J Bittenbinder-esque seminar about self defense, a la “Street Smarts!”
two to beam down in the ready room is a great euphemism for having to poop lol
I love how after many episodes about self defense, you guys know whats bogus and what is legit.
Ok I just Wana say I love/hate the way you guys tend to do promos lol. Either it's stupid in an entertaining way or you guys are just talking and in both situations it makes me wanna watch it even tho i know it's an ad. And that's huge for me personally bc I usually skip right through the ad/promo portions when I can, usually bc it's the same shit. But the fact you guys put this much effort in each one and making them relatively individual, gotta say, got me good.
The weapon of the modern rogue.
I really like the image used for this video - it looks like one of those old PSAs. It would be super cool to see more in this kind of style!
To me it felt like Plank was in the episode from Ed, Edd and Eddy
Now I'm going to carry a 2×4 just to mess with the Home Depot staff.
Edit: thanks for the likes, rogues!
Hello I need the police, the man with the wood plank is back.
@@camper1749 the police can't stop the board people!!
''If I'm comming at somebody and they start eating a light bulb, I'm not gonna mess with em'...
'
"What happened to your thumb?"
".....Murphy's Law..."
2 to beam down in the ready room? I love it
Where'd you get a 2 ft 2x4?
Should've tried a full sized plank
you gotta find a saw and chop it up mid fight
Great now I have to watch out for 2x4 wielding crazies at the port a potty as well as no toilet paper!
DAMN, has it already been a year?... Wow....
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS AND WATCHING YOU GROW KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GUYS!!
also hows the new h.q.? y'all got a fighting pit yet?
Working on it!
It never occurred to me to "jab" or thrust with what is essentially a club. It actually seems like it might be quite effective. At the very least, it is something different that could catch your opponent off guard. Nice video.
(By the way, I am one of those paranoid people that routinely scans my environment for potential improvised weapons. Occasionally, I have had to console myself with the following thought: "well, there's nothing around... I suppose the ground itself could be a weapon... if I slammed someone hard enough into it...")
Oh man! Desperate Defense is back, I'm all kinds of giddy.
This intro is so much funnier now that we know what actually happened to your thumb.
The book is meaning a full length, uncut 2x4 which is normally 8 or 10 ft, so much more like an awkward great staff
Modern Rogue's guide to fixing A Guide to Improvised Weaponry.
Most people actually don't where steel toed boots because if something heavy fell on their feet, the steel would bend and cut their toes off.
It may not seems like it, but the legs are actually a pretty easy target when you have a little reach. I practise Canne de Combat (french sport) where we try to hit each other with a cane-like sticks, and the legs are the hardest part to protect with your stick. You just need to learn to lunge quickly to hit. The hard part is not to get hit back in the head.
The toes and feet make a lot more sense with a standard 2x4 that's 8' long... also tripping by tossing it at the legs make more sense with a full size 2x4. Think beyond the immediate prop at hand guys lol
Wooooo more defensive actions with things that are stupid
@@zacharysazama798 You kidding me I love this shit the fact they're are using things that are stupid is great
@@billybadbean9077 Oh, shoot, dude, I'm sorry. I totally thought you were being sarcastic.
@@zacharysazama798 All good lmao good to see fans rising to the defense
@@billybadbean9077 I'm sorry, dude. Which desperate weapon was your favorite? Mine was the Bobby pins just because of the ridiculous determination to find some way to use it
@@zacharysazama798 dude the Bobby pin was golden that was pique performance
The intro made me laugh for a full minute
Don't get me wrong, the entire video was great
So basically, if you have a 2x4, hit them with it. As long as it isn't haunted.
I imagine the 2x4 they're talking about is about twice as long as the bit you guys are using, so the toes sounds like a easy thing to do
I think if the 2x4 was longer, the feet become more viable targets. Imagine the board quarterstaff length and then you just take a sweeping action at the legs. You could possibly sweep the legs like Johnny, also the ankle bones are super sensitive so I think that is a better target than the TOES....but forget that Trip toss.
YEEE i love these episodes