I am HIV Positive too. Got infected by my then boyfriend in 2018. I won't lie, at first i was very angry towards him but then i forgave him for me then I ended the relationship.
Both stories have the typical narcissistic abuse traits: 1. Love bombing - moving FAST, doing too much too soon, short-lived honeymoon phase. What the victim doesn’t know is that they’ll pay severely for these favours soon enough. I personally call this phase indoctrination. 2. Devalue - shortly after the honeymoon favours end and the victim is hooked, the abuse begins. It can progress quickly or slowly. Abuse can be physical or emotional or verbal or mental and/or a combination of these..but one thing is guaranteed, it continues to escalate the longer the victim stays 3. Pseudo love bombing - Perpetrator mixes up the confusion by swinging between being good and abusive. The love bombing levels are never the same as the first time they groomed their victim. The victim sees a glimmer of hope and stays. This is why simply advising an abuse victim to “just leave” doesn’t work well. It’s like telling a drug addict to “just stop”. 4. Hoovering - after a victim has left, perpetrator attempts to reach out to the victim with false claims of changing, they’ll say everything you’ve always wanted to hear. It’s a trap! 5. Discard - after crushing another human’s spirit, they ditch their victims as a final move to “bury you”. If you leave them first, they often get upset and want to get their “revenge” Not a diagnosis by any means but just drawing parallels. There is a lot of content of this topic on TH-cam for those interested in knowing more.
@@km_6181 sadly they do "study somewhere" they keep practicing on people and thats how they sharpen their skills. Every victim they have/had teaches them what to do differently and how so that they can get better results.
@@km_6181 thank you very much for breaking it down like this. I have a friend who is in such a relationship. It's so hard coz at this point I've decided to leave her alone. I ghost her and avoid her by all means coz it's so stranious and overwhelming listening to her scenarios... What do you think one can do as a friend in such a situation?
@@triumphvictoria444 hi,i know Exactly how you feel. I have that friend who's in the same situation, I also left her alone because of that. I really don't know what to do as well💔
What Matthew went is pure discrimination because of his sexuality and it makes me angry that police let him down. Discrimination against same sex relationship needs to stop.
This has been one of the most awakening episodes....I am so touched by their stories, but most importantly I am so amazed at how resilient and brave they are. It takes an extra ordinary human being to go through such and still find a way to not only forgive but to take this unfortunate ordeal and turn it into a life changing ordeal, and a weapon to fight against the spread of HIV/AIDS.... I salute you Zandile Simelane and Matthew Bongani Lani.
I have always said i wish we could see what people think towards us. I wish God made us that we could all be visible whats in our minds and hearts so that we could all be honest.
I am 25 and took my first HIV test last Thursday, thank God it came out negative. The nurse that was helping me told me to take HIV test with a person I'm being intimate with and I should make sure that I'm always there when my partner takes the test because they can lie. I encourage everyone to take a test, it is scary, yes, but it's worth it because you will start appreciating and seeing life in a different light.
The church could have intervened in her situation. Here's an old man who used to take a young girl to church with him and everyone knew that the two were living together as a husband and wife regardless of the visible age difference. Unfortunately, it is quite apparent also that the church was very much afraid to confront that man because he had money and was somewhat powerful. The world is very cruel towards the vulnerable.
Churches and religion have nothing to do with God and goodness. But everything to do with human ego and dysfunction. Love shrouds be the only religion we ascribe to as the human race. Our conscience is God, Gods voice.
@@jaiyaalexandra144 this reminds me of the need to teach our kids about life and its harsh realities early in their life. Most importantly, we also need to invest for them even before they are born.
I wonder if people that come to the show get some sort of support after the interviews- this show is like a safe space that so many of us need. It's educational, informative, eye opening and thought provoking.
Zandile still defending him shows she still blames herself and possibly the people around her too. You did nothing wrong sisi, you were a child and someone took advantage of you.
"HIV is not a death sentence but a life sentence" I shall keep this in mind whenever I wannna let my guard down. 👏🏼 Thank you all for being brave enough to share with us🙏🏼
Rele looked at him with so much conviction as compared to the lady. I think her gut feeling was telling her something is off. She needs to come out with it one day
I've never been so touched with someone's story like of Matthew's ,I was in tears throughout the interview 😭. If ever I see him in person I'd give him a long warm hug .
You're absolutely right. No one should be hurt the way Matthew has been hurt. It was deliberate, it was selfish it was intentional, it was EVIL! NOONE DESERVE THIS!
I hope Zandile and Matthew find peace in their lives.❤ This must be a lot to take in as a child, but I'm glad y'all remain strong to speak your truth and inspire others.
My heart is broken into pieces 😭. I can tell it took a lot of bravery and courage to share your stories. I hope and pray that God provide both of you with healing and strength. Thank you for sharing your story ❤.
The dating pool is full of toxic broken individuals who pretend to be the perfect and well put together loving partners to pull you into the whirlwind of theirs brokenness and darkness. These two loving souls were casualties of the toxicity and the darkness that’s out there. Love doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t manipulate, it doesn’t harm they were manipulated into thinking that it’s love. This can happen to the best of us hence we learn a lot of from shows like this on how to spot 🚩 . I wish them nothing but love and light, health and happiness. Their experience with those demons is not who they are. 💜🧡💛
Even the marriage pool, a lot of wives have been intentionally infected by their husbands so it's actually the human race that's toxic. It's a very sad reality😢
@@ndalamamashabele5956 saddest thing ever. You’d think you’re escaping the mess by being married only to find maybe you’re running into it, it’s nuts. No perfection out there.
I really hope they both find peace and deep emotional healing. I hope they are afforded the chance to get therapy as well, this is so painful. Sending you guys love and light 🌻
Oh Matthew, strength to you young man. Your expirience is still fresh,I pray you get to the point of strength Zandile is at.Both of you are amazing young people
Powerful statement from Matthew “HIV is a life sentence”, what an saddening but yet truthful conversational episode. I truly hope both speakers find solace and easy for the pain they went through.
I think the issue of dealing with domestic violence victims is not thoroughly covered at Police academies/ colleges. I hardly hear any good stories.. I for one had an experience of a female police officer giving me attitude because I had reported a stalker.. Academies should really look into it and have units which specializes with such. Victims are traumatized a lot.
well as a health science student watching this makes me realize that the health Dept is losing the fight in curbing the spread of HIV, like how many people intentionally infect others.
This is such an educational episode for the young of South Africa...there are people out there tht do live on the Prep because their partners are positive n it wud be awesome for someone to come n talk about it...being married to an HIV positive partner
That is why I only date a person once and that is it. The truth is the person who comes back is not exactly the person who left. There are those people who are not used to getting dumped, they feel you've undermined them when you break up with them and they will try to revenge themselves. Another thing we must break it's this cycle of dating a person who has no direction/abusive for a very long time such that you get used to them and it becomes very hard to break up with them, to a point where even if you meet other potential partners somehow you end up being with them again, that is not meant to be that's TOXIC!
I challenge the authorities and HIV legal activists to approach these two young individuals and proceed to legal routes and charge the perpetrators for the sake of setting an example to any other narcissist who may have the intentions to infect anyone with this virus.. Am a nurse and deeply hurt by this stories to even think there are people like this and we see them daily but can not press charges just because one refuses to take ARVs but sadly we are well aware that if not enrolled someone is gonna be infected by the same person.
I have always thought the criminalization of HIV is absolutely abhorrent but I had never ever factored a scenario like the one Matthew is describing. This man should be in jail. The emotional and physical abuse he went through is heart breaking. I pray healing on Matthew.
@@azaniajuicethwala5324 it takes the responsibility away from both parties to protect themselves. In my experience when you begin a relationship with a new partner we've been taught to ensure both parties get tested and have these open conversations. With this in mind I thought instances of infection are a result of partners who do not know their status infecting the other one, unknowingly. Having it be criminalized further contribute to the stigma. The story shared by Matthew is a wake up call that people are evil and malicious and people should absolutely be able to pursue legal action when they have taken all the necessary steps to protect themselves
Just watched this and it's heartbreaking. I am HIV positive and the stigma and rejection that I have gone through is unbearable but I thank God that 15 years since I discovered my status I'm still here trying to positive every single day and living one day at a time and still trusting God that I will continue to be positive and strong to face life's challenges. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences.
When life gives you lemons make lemonade wow Matthew.Guests are very strong and amazingly positive ,i took notes.Thank u for such an enlightening discussion,its quite an eye opener.
Protection order and you’re living in the same house? It doesn’t make sense? Protection order needs you to be some specified meters away from someone at all times.
I lost my Mom last year... Now currently taking care of my 2 siblings... For me I feel like I can't give in yet, like I can't fall down and cry yet... Because my siblings still need me... Please can you talk about who to deal with a passing of a mother... I just don't want to do it wrong
I lost my mother last year December, m 33 yrs married with 2 kids, unemployed n taking care with 4 siblings, it's not easy Sabelo but i told myself I won't give up on dem, i will take a bullet for them, dey r still young n valnurable . Mind u m raising two teenagers, I pray n ask God to give me wisdom n strength to love, support n raise these kids.
I lost my mother too while I was 20 years last year.. I am taking care of my 2 you her siblings and still continue with studying as I am at university doing my second year.. I had to ask relatives to stay with them while I'm at virsity.. I am sharing my 1500 NSFas money with then 1000 for then and 500 for me
@@sherrysimpson9536 we don't care about your so called Dr dummy...popping in and out of comments to advertise your "dr" you don't even care to read the comment you are advertising on...did you see anyone asking for a cure
my guy i am glad you are alive to tell your story, you are were stronger than your challenges. You made cry at some point, it tough out there. The trauma can sure cripple.
For some reason I always went to view this episode over and over again for Matthew, I just want to stretch my arms so wide and hugged him tightly and telling him your my hero, your ok now and am proud of you.
I pray for the same. The authorities need to take accountability for every report they neglected that caused these infected people to go unnoticed and put others in jeopardy. This couldn't happen in America. It is a serious crime to knowingly infected another.
These stories deeply deeply hurt honestly why are some people so cruel😢😢😢😢 very young beautiful people going through such heavy loads. Hope they are helped to have the idiots arrested
“I did not have friends, I didn’t wanna tell my friends.” I cackled, then the nurse somehow knew his mother was unemployed, despite no explanation being given on how she would know that! Lmao, even the smallest things are contradictory to each other! How to know when Matthew Lani is not lying = when his mouth is closed. 😂
12:35 Being in therapy right now and aspiring to be a therapist in the future, I cannot explain how much I hate people using "being in therapy" (whether they actually are or not) as a way to further manipulate their prey. It taints the whole profession as well as creates more trauma and confusion for some who have been abused. And it breeds overall distrust in regards to it's effectiveness in the public's perception.
I am so heartbroken about the hardships you guys went through. Its an under statement to say some people are evil.... may the Good Lord grant you guys healing....
Oooo kudos to you both. I feel Zandi still has that little thing to say she should have behaved well. Zandi love, no matter your behavior you didn’t deserve it especially that it was intentional. Matthew sweetie, ooo you are just so special in and out. Am happy that you continued with school even during your darkest times. Am appealing to the both of you to follow through your cases, some wounds are worth reopening even when you have worked hard to heal. Those sons of pharaoh must answer one day. Bring pics of them coz right now some is falling victim. Love guys 💕💕💕
It is interesting how the subject of "let's get tested" before having unprotected sex is sensitive to an extend of trust, wherein the motion of collective teamwork by going to test together for some seems to be invasion of privacy! Ironic hey... I've grown to learn that individuals with questionable intentions would not agree to get tested together, for the sake of a safe space, transparency and support! Thank you for sharing your stories and I recon as a society we have a long way to go interms of being genuine, welcoming, supportive - all for the sake of good health.
When young people go through the most it really hurts,,,,They are strong and conquerors. These are the type of shows South Africa needs because people are suffering in silence. I hope we are all taking notes and should look out for signs in relationships of physical and emotional abuse. We should never settle for less and above all God shall deal with predators and evil people when he decides too.
Oh Matthew. I pray you find comfort and peace. Keep doing what you are doing....stay focused and enjoy life. I pray God fulfils all your wishes . He will get what he deserves don't worry.
That guy is so cruel. The way he tricked this guy not to contest the protection order, knowing he is going to use it against him. Tjooooooo. Heartless is an understatement.
What makes emotional with this guy is that... God will put us in certain situations.. Not for us but ppl around us... Yoh... Let's hang in there guys God has entrusted us with all these assignments that we are currently going through... I love url
You both are strong, resilient and helping so many people sharing your stories. Predators are out here, glad you both are getting your lives back on track. God bless.
I don't usually comment...I never cried this much about a story, punishment pho😭Matthew your suicidal attempts never worked for a reason...I love you ...very strong person.
Parents really should be responsible for their kids, especially financially... a lot of parenys think it's enough tjat the child has NSFAS... whereas there are so much more that a child needs at school. This is sad cos it leaves children vulnerable to vultures out there
Narcissists are predators that drain and abuse the later survivors emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially, etc. These is an awakening call to know and run as fast from people with narcisstic behaviors ASAP . These two are survivors and victors for coming out. 💜 from Kenya
Zandile and Matthew, you are both beautiful and I'm sending you lots of love. Embodiment of courage and thriving after meeting Devils. Wishing you the best!!! ♥️♥️♥️
People out there are evil my tears were just streaming listening to Matthew's story. Be strong dear you are a fighter.Thank you for sharing your stories
Mass employment does that to society. Policing, nursing, teaching need empathy, character and mental maturity ON TOP OF THE ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS. When you employ ppl who are in it for the money, society dies
I don’t know how I stumbled upon this channel, but I’m so happy I did! The interviewer is AMAZING, and I love the set. It’s interesting that PREP is not very popularized in Africa yet. I know many people here in the USA that take it. It’s illegal to intentionally spread HIV here. I also think Matthew’s perpetrator would be dead if that happened here in the USA. Given the intensity of the situation, someone would have shot it stabbed him! How in the world could he admit he knew he had it, AND insult him by saying he deserved to receive HIV???? Wowwww Matthew! I wish I could just give you a big hug! Your poise and resilience should be applauded! Thank you both for sharing your stories.
I also think Relebogile's intro should show these moments too, I mean where we cutting onions and swallowing deep. The show has a lot of sad stories (which are educational and enjoyable) however the show's intro has our host smiling many times and only showing happy faces you would swear it's an OPW show. But maybe it's me overthinking🥴... Otherwise, thank you sis Lebo for this, I mean You Tube has never felt so warm and mind opening...💓💓
Zandile and Matthew, this is truly unfortunate. For someone else you've come across you've been a blessing and an eye opener. Your had strength to turn your life around. One of you is a doctor. It seems you have forgiven yourselves and overcome depression, that alone deserves an accolade. Sending virtual hugs.
Things I took away from this.... There are people who care about you. Do not be like Bongani and shut people out. People rarely change. Believe them the first time. Rather squat with friends than live with someone who abuses you Speak up when you see a predator with a child Love yourself enough to walk away from what no longer serves you. It will me hard at times but you matter. I wish both Bongani and Zandi love, light, healing and so much joy. Lord knows they deserve all good things.
Matt and Zandile, thank you so much for sharing your stories. Your lives have purpose. May God carry you day by day. Thank you Relebogile for creating this platform for them
This was so sad. But it was also inspiring because you created beauty from ashes. You rose out of circumstances that were supposed to destroy you and you are healing others through your stories. God bless. Have you ever wanted to stick your hands into your phone screen so you could reach someone and give them a hug? That's how I felt. ❤
Thank you guys for the support and love 💓💓💓💓💓💓
Love and light in your journey 🤍🌻
More Wisdom and laughter is always my wish for you my brother, May the Lord be always with you #lloveyoualotmybrother
@@PodcastingSA ill be creating one and creating content soon💓
@@bongiebongs1077 thank you so much
Love and light to u 😍😙😙😙
I am so hurt at Matthew's experience. May God continue to watch over him.
Both experiences was hurtful
Matthew played us shem😑
😂
@@DiscoveringKatlego sana? we are just jokes at this point
@@DiscoveringKatlego😂😂😂yazi I’m not laughing
I am HIV Positive too. Got infected by my then boyfriend in 2018. I won't lie, at first i was very angry towards him but then i forgave him for me then I ended the relationship.
You are strong
♥️
❤️💯
@nhlahla, so sorry abt what happened 2 u🙏
♥️♥️
Who's back here after Matthew was exposed !!!!!, is this story even true ??, Don't know what to believe anymore.
I actually asked myself the same question.
Both stories have the typical narcissistic abuse traits:
1. Love bombing - moving FAST, doing too much too soon, short-lived honeymoon phase. What the victim doesn’t know is that they’ll pay severely for these favours soon enough. I personally call this phase indoctrination.
2. Devalue - shortly after the honeymoon favours end and the victim is hooked, the abuse begins. It can progress quickly or slowly. Abuse can be physical or emotional or verbal or mental and/or a combination of these..but one thing is guaranteed, it continues to escalate the longer the victim stays
3. Pseudo love bombing - Perpetrator mixes up the confusion by swinging between being good and abusive. The love bombing levels are never the same as the first time they groomed their victim. The victim sees a glimmer of hope and stays. This is why simply advising an abuse victim to “just leave” doesn’t work well. It’s like telling a drug addict to “just stop”.
4. Hoovering - after a victim has left, perpetrator attempts to reach out to the victim with false claims of changing, they’ll say everything you’ve always wanted to hear. It’s a trap!
5. Discard - after crushing another human’s spirit, they ditch their victims as a final move to “bury you”. If you leave them first, they often get upset and want to get their “revenge”
Not a diagnosis by any means but just drawing parallels. There is a lot of content of this topic on TH-cam for those interested in knowing more.
Exactly as you stated here.
@@KimMarshall44 abusive people’s actions are all the same, it almost feels like they all studied somewhere
@@km_6181 sadly they do "study somewhere" they keep practicing on people and thats how they sharpen their skills. Every victim they have/had teaches them what to do differently and how so that they can get better results.
@@km_6181 thank you very much for breaking it down like this. I have a friend who is in such a relationship. It's so hard coz at this point I've decided to leave her alone. I ghost her and avoid her by all means coz it's so stranious and overwhelming listening to her scenarios... What do you think one can do as a friend in such a situation?
@@triumphvictoria444 hi,i know Exactly how you feel. I have that friend who's in the same situation, I also left her alone because of that.
I really don't know what to do as well💔
Lying to someone you are being intimate with about your HIV status should be regarded as a criminal offence
It actually is. You can be charged with Culpable.
It actually is
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
@@sherrysimpson9536 good for you
@@tshegofatsomolefe1187 it is but trying to prove this to court is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack
Always be kind to others..People are going through alot.
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️❤️
This man is so strong and he went throu a lot
@@sherrysimpson9536 what do u mean? And please share it with others
@@dikolizaskk5847 yeah #drabiola is a powerful herbal doctor
@@sherrysimpson9536 🙄🙄oohk
What Matthew went is pure discrimination because of his sexuality and it makes me angry that police let him down. Discrimination against same sex relationship needs to stop.
Some people are pure evil!!! Imagine laughing at someone after deliberately infecting them with a virus 😢☹️
Yes the same thing happened to me. It destroyed me
@@letsget100kbeforeaugust5 I am sorry that this happened to you. I hope you have found a way to heal ❤
People are little devils😈 nx!
@@letsget100kbeforeaugust5love and light to you ❤
This has been one of the most awakening episodes....I am so touched by their stories, but most importantly I am so amazed at how resilient and brave they are. It takes an extra ordinary human being to go through such and still find a way to not only forgive but to take this unfortunate ordeal and turn it into a life changing ordeal, and a weapon to fight against the spread of HIV/AIDS.... I salute you Zandile Simelane and Matthew Bongani Lani.
I was very happy to see that despite these challenges, you completed your medical degree Matthew. Congratulations!
A strong man he is
😂
😭😭😭medical degree which does not exist
@@pfukanivinoliahmathebula2380😂😂,😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yho 😅 😅 🤣😔💔
I wish people came with 2 min trailers like a movie 💔💔💔💔 god bless these 2 young people
Amen amen 💯💯💯
I have always said i wish we could see what people think towards us. I wish God made us that we could all be visible whats in our minds and hearts so that we could all be honest.
Yey wena, we would see, what people are really going thru! Hectic May babe, Hectic!!
Or true story movies. These stories could changed A lot of people's lives olif they can be played
I am 25 and took my first HIV test last Thursday, thank God it came out negative. The nurse that was helping me told me to take HIV test with a person I'm being intimate with and I should make sure that I'm always there when my partner takes the test because they can lie. I encourage everyone to take a test, it is scary, yes, but it's worth it because you will start appreciating and seeing life in a different light.
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
@@sherrysimpson9536 Haybo Sherry
@@sherrysimpson9536 don't lie on the public platform😂
@@donedidit5665 this is my life story
@@nosip9950 how are you
The church could have intervened in her situation. Here's an old man who used to take a young girl to church with him and everyone knew that the two were living together as a husband and wife regardless of the visible age difference.
Unfortunately, it is quite apparent also that the church was very much afraid to confront that man because he had money and was somewhat powerful.
The world is very cruel towards the vulnerable.
Her family failed her, 40 something year old with a baby. That's disgusting
Churches and religion have nothing to do with God and goodness. But everything to do with human ego and dysfunction. Love shrouds be the only religion we ascribe to as the human race. Our conscience is God, Gods voice.
@@jaiyaalexandra144 this reminds me of the need to teach our kids about life and its harsh realities early in their life. Most importantly, we also need to invest for them even before they are born.
Churches are full of hypocrites. If you the one that bring in money to the church, donate and all that you can never be on the wrong side
I wonder if people that come to the show get some sort of support after the interviews- this show is like a safe space that so many of us need. It's educational, informative, eye opening and thought provoking.
Zandile still defending him shows she still blames herself and possibly the people around her too. You did nothing wrong sisi, you were a child and someone took advantage of you.
"HIV is not a death sentence but a life sentence"
I shall keep this in mind whenever I wannna let my guard down. 👏🏼
Thank you all for being brave enough to share with us🙏🏼
That statement from Mathew was very powerful and rich.
@@pauljmkandawire All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️❤️
@@sherrysimpson9536 stop ✋
@@kholekandlovu2440 Thank you, I hear you. ...Let's be real
@@kholekandlovu2440 this is my life story
Rele looked at him with so much conviction as compared to the lady. I think her gut feeling was telling her something is off. She needs to come out with it one day
That’s why she was a bit more focused on Zandi’s story.
I've never been so touched with someone's story like of Matthew's ,I was in tears throughout the interview 😭. If ever I see him in person I'd give him a long warm hug .
The system really let him down all because he is gay. This is so sad 😞
You have been through a lot… love and light to you ❤️❤️
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂we are here
Kante all along! I feel fooled here🤣💔
The poor boy! Hugs to him
My heart bleeds for Matthew hle... I'm so sad.. I hate poverty with all my heart
You're absolutely right. No one should be hurt the way Matthew has been hurt. It was deliberate, it was selfish it was intentional, it was EVIL! NOONE DESERVE THIS!
It's so sad
This episode made me cry and I hope they both have found healing.
I hope Zandile and Matthew find peace in their lives.❤
This must be a lot to take in as a child, but I'm glad y'all remain strong to speak your truth and inspire others.
My heart is broken into pieces 😭. I can tell it took a lot of bravery and courage to share your stories. I hope and pray that God provide both of you with healing and strength. Thank you for sharing your story ❤.
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️❤️
The dating pool is full of toxic broken individuals who pretend to be the perfect and well put together loving partners to pull you into the whirlwind of theirs brokenness and darkness. These two loving souls were casualties of the toxicity and the darkness that’s out there. Love doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t manipulate, it doesn’t harm they were manipulated into thinking that it’s love. This can happen to the best of us hence we learn a lot of from shows like this on how to spot 🚩 . I wish them nothing but love and light, health and happiness. Their experience with those demons is not who they are. 💜🧡💛
Even the marriage pool, a lot of wives have been intentionally infected by their husbands so it's actually the human race that's toxic. It's a very sad reality😢
Moral of the story. Trust NO ONE!!
PREP is easily available to anyone. Abstain. And again TRUST NOBODY!!
Ppp
Couldn’t have been said better. Definitely happens to the best of us. It seems there is no hope.
@@ndalamamashabele5956 saddest thing ever. You’d think you’re escaping the mess by being married only to find maybe you’re running into it, it’s nuts. No perfection out there.
This is in fact a perfect video for a body language analysis. He’s lying. Even darting his eyes around, looking for approval!
True mxm he's a good lier
I really hope they both find peace and deep emotional healing. I hope they are afforded the chance to get therapy as well, this is so painful. Sending you guys love and light 🌻
Oh Matthew, strength to you young man. Your expirience is still fresh,I pray you get to the point of strength Zandile is at.Both of you are amazing young people
Powerful statement from Matthew “HIV is a life sentence”, what an saddening but yet truthful conversational episode. I truly hope both speakers find solace and easy for the pain they went through.
Police always invalidate the pain and trauma people go through, which is so heartbreaking cause they’re meant to be a haven.
I hate the police
I think the issue of dealing with domestic violence victims is not thoroughly covered at Police academies/ colleges. I hardly hear any good stories.. I for one had an experience of a female police officer giving me attitude because I had reported a stalker..
Academies should really look into it and have units which specializes with such. Victims are traumatized a lot.
well as a health science student watching this makes me realize that the health Dept is losing the fight in curbing the spread of HIV, like how many people intentionally infect others.
This is such an educational episode for the young of South Africa...there are people out there tht do live on the Prep because their partners are positive n it wud be awesome for someone to come n talk about it...being married to an HIV positive partner
Bro lied until he believed himself. I guess it was the trauma. Now he destroyed his real story to tell
So am crying for him now for nothing 😢?
That is why I only date a person once and that is it. The truth is the person who comes back is not exactly the person who left. There are those people who are not used to getting dumped, they feel you've undermined them when you break up with them and they will try to revenge themselves. Another thing we must break it's this cycle of dating a person who has no direction/abusive for a very long time such that you get used to them and it becomes very hard to break up with them, to a point where even if you meet other potential partners somehow you end up being with them again, that is not meant to be that's TOXIC!
I challenge the authorities and HIV legal activists to approach these two young individuals and proceed to legal routes and charge the perpetrators for the sake of setting an example to any other narcissist who may have the intentions to infect anyone with this virus.. Am a nurse and deeply hurt by this stories to even think there are people like this and we see them daily but can not press charges just because one refuses to take ARVs but sadly we are well aware that if not enrolled someone is gonna be infected by the same person.
Plppppppppp
I have always thought the criminalization of HIV is absolutely abhorrent but I had never ever factored a scenario like the one Matthew is describing. This man should be in jail. The emotional and physical abuse he went through is heart breaking. I pray healing on Matthew.
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
I’m interested in the reasoning behind your initial thought process?
@@azaniajuicethwala5324 it takes the responsibility away from both parties to protect themselves. In my experience when you begin a relationship with a new partner we've been taught to ensure both parties get tested and have these open conversations. With this in mind I thought instances of infection are a result of partners who do not know their status infecting the other one, unknowingly. Having it be criminalized further contribute to the stigma.
The story shared by Matthew is a wake up call that people are evil and malicious and people should absolutely be able to pursue legal action when they have taken all the necessary steps to protect themselves
Not me being here for the tea 😭
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂wenaaaa
Matthew's story really touched me I couldn't make it through the interview without crying. May God continue to watch over you
Why would God watch over the poor guy now? He sure wasn't when all of this happened!
Just watched this and it's heartbreaking. I am HIV positive and the stigma and rejection that I have gone through is unbearable but I thank God that 15 years since I discovered my status I'm still here trying to positive every single day and living one day at a time and still trusting God that I will continue to be positive and strong to face life's challenges. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences.
❤
May the Spirit of my living God be with both of you 😭❤️
Amen
Life is really hard.no one deserves to go through this
When life gives you lemons make lemonade wow Matthew.Guests are very strong and amazingly positive ,i took notes.Thank u for such an enlightening discussion,its quite an eye opener.
I could feel Matthew's pain and emotions the entire episode...
I can relate with the issue of police, I was told to try and sort things out with my partner when seeking for help, so, so sad💔
Matthew's story doesn't add up, 🤔. I swear he created the story 😂😂😂😂😂 God forbids. Protection order and take me to the doctor 😮 Haibo!
That's what I noticed 2 mxm
he's definitely lying his story doesn't add up
Protection order and you’re living in the same house? It doesn’t make sense? Protection order needs you to be some specified meters away from someone at all times.
You are writing my thoughts
Me too i don't believe the story, it doesn't add up
I lost my Mom last year... Now currently taking care of my 2 siblings... For me I feel like I can't give in yet, like I can't fall down and cry yet... Because my siblings still need me... Please can you talk about who to deal with a passing of a mother... I just don't want to do it wrong
Sending you love 💛
I lost my mother last year December, m 33 yrs married with 2 kids, unemployed n taking care with 4 siblings, it's not easy Sabelo but i told myself I won't give up on dem, i will take a bullet for them, dey r still young n valnurable . Mind u m raising two teenagers, I pray n ask God to give me wisdom n strength to love, support n raise these kids.
I lost my mother too while I was 20 years last year.. I am taking care of my 2 you her siblings and still continue with studying as I am at university doing my second year.. I had to ask relatives to stay with them while I'm at virsity.. I am sharing my 1500 NSFas money with then 1000 for then and 500 for me
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
@@sherrysimpson9536 we don't care about your so called Dr dummy...popping in and out of comments to advertise your "dr" you don't even care to read the comment you are advertising on...did you see anyone asking for a cure
matthew we loveeeeeeeeeeeee you and thank God for your life, u lived to save many with your storyyyyyyyyyy
All thanks to Dr Abiola on TH-cam for cutting me permanently from HIV
All thanks to Dr Abiola on TH-cam for cutting me permanently from HIV #drabiola
My heart goes out to both the guests. I pray that they find healing and peace. 🤗🤗
I wish we could start a fund me to raise money to sue Mathew and Zandie perpetrators. Those people deserve to be behind bars
Why does it cost money to lock them up?
Still on 😊
THIS LIFE! Guys! Especially if you’re a good person, be extra careful, A LOT of people are not like you.
Yoh Matthew you made me cry... I wish you and Zandile well in this life journey.
my guy i am glad you are alive to tell your story, you are were stronger than your challenges. You made cry at some point, it tough out there.
The trauma can sure cripple.
Both stories were so touching but Mathew’s story broke my heart,wish you well and take care of yourselves guy sending you 🫂 hugs
For some reason I always went to view this episode over and over again for Matthew, I just want to stretch my arms so wide and hugged him tightly and telling him your my hero, your ok now and am proud of you.
Thank you so much.
😂😂😂Yooo
I really hope somewhere out there a lawyer is watching this and willing to help Matthew out because wow .
I pray for the same. The authorities need to take accountability for every report they neglected that caused these infected people to go unnoticed and put others in jeopardy. This couldn't happen in America. It is a serious crime to knowingly infected another.
These stories deeply deeply hurt honestly why are some people so cruel😢😢😢😢 very young beautiful people going through such heavy loads. Hope they are helped to have the idiots arrested
How does a person live with themselves after hurting another human being in this manner 💔💔? May you two go from strength to strength 💕🌹
“I did not have friends, I didn’t wanna tell my friends.” I cackled, then the nurse somehow knew his mother was unemployed, despite no explanation being given on how she would know that! Lmao, even the smallest things are contradictory to each other! How to know when Matthew Lani is not lying = when his mouth is closed. 😂
His story doesn't add up hai😂😂😂😂. You can clearly see that he's lying.
The lies highlighted after the whole HPCSA and Wits saga.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😭😭😭😭😭I am trying to connect the dots in his story and it's not happening
@@chantelndhlovu I thought I was the only one yall, finding it so hard to believe anything he says after that whole saga😂
12:35 Being in therapy right now and aspiring to be a therapist in the future, I cannot explain how much I hate people using "being in therapy" (whether they actually are or not) as a way to further manipulate their prey.
It taints the whole profession as well as creates more trauma and confusion for some who have been abused. And it breeds overall distrust in regards to it's effectiveness in the public's perception.
I am so heartbroken about the hardships you guys went through. Its an under statement to say some people are evil.... may the Good Lord grant you guys healing....
You got me at " Go to the clinic I have a surprise for you" 🥺😭💔🚮
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
My heart sank 🥺
That part really broke me even more 💔
@Dorothy Bee you know you can report scam posts right? I just did
@@sherrysimpson9536 you are a scam artist. There is no cure.
I want to give Matthew a hug 🤗. It should be made a criminal offence to infect another in South Africa. 🇿🇦
Oooo kudos to you both. I feel Zandi still has that little thing to say she should have behaved well. Zandi love, no matter your behavior you didn’t deserve it especially that it was intentional.
Matthew sweetie, ooo you are just so special in and out. Am happy that you continued with school even during your darkest times.
Am appealing to the both of you to follow through your cases, some wounds are worth reopening even when you have worked hard to heal. Those sons of pharaoh must answer one day. Bring pics of them coz right now some is falling victim. Love guys 💕💕💕
I was crying throughout Matthew's story, yho 😭💔
It is interesting how the subject of "let's get tested" before having unprotected sex is sensitive to an extend of trust, wherein the motion of collective teamwork by going to test together for some seems to be invasion of privacy! Ironic hey... I've grown to learn that individuals with questionable intentions would not agree to get tested together, for the sake of a safe space, transparency and support! Thank you for sharing your stories and I recon as a society we have a long way to go interms of being genuine, welcoming, supportive - all for the sake of good health.
I love how they're getting bigger and bigger... May God continue to give them strength.
Bathong😭😭😭iyoh... He went through the most. I'm really sorry Matthew💔 ppl are evil.
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️❤️
Having no biological parents is the worst case to be visited upon any child.
When young people go through the most it really hurts,,,,They are strong and conquerors. These are the type of shows South Africa needs because people are suffering in silence. I hope we are all taking notes and should look out for signs in relationships of physical and emotional abuse. We should never settle for less and above all God shall deal with predators and evil people when he decides too.
Matthew is honestly such an inspiration🥺❤️
All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
Neh 😅
@@Boity_Puleng Can i take back this comment😭😂😂?
Oh Matthew. I pray you find comfort and peace. Keep doing what you are doing....stay focused and enjoy life. I pray God fulfils all your wishes . He will get what he deserves don't worry.
That guy is so cruel. The way he tricked this guy not to contest the protection order, knowing he is going to use it against him. Tjooooooo. Heartless is an understatement.
What makes emotional with this guy is that... God will put us in certain situations.. Not for us but ppl around us... Yoh... Let's hang in there guys God has entrusted us with all these assignments that we are currently going through... I love url
You both are strong, resilient and helping so many people sharing your stories. Predators are out here, glad you both are getting your lives back on track. God bless.
Let’s continue to unpack📍
Loving the new addition of “next episode sneak peek” 🙌🏽
This is heartbreaking 💔
Deliberate transmission is charged on the same level as rape.
I’m sorry Zand and Matthew. Champion on!
Heart breaking stories 😔💔I am so proud at both guests for sharing their stories love the fact that they are both strong.
I don't usually comment...I never cried this much about a story, punishment pho😭Matthew your suicidal attempts never worked for a reason...I love you ...very strong person.
Shame, I am not a fan of going back to exes as breakups are generally ugly, Matthew is a reminder of my why......
Same here hey... I just block, clear, delete anything and everything. It really helps in healing and letting go.
@@triumphvictoria444 All thanks to Dr Abiola for curing me permanently from HIV #drabiola❤️❣️
Parents really should be responsible for their kids, especially financially... a lot of parenys think it's enough tjat the child has NSFAS... whereas there are so much more that a child needs at school. This is sad cos it leaves children vulnerable to vultures out there
This is so accurate
More than anything I'm stunt at how intelligent Matthew is, he can go far in life seriously
Yo guys... Matthew, my heart is so heavy listening to his story.
Love and hugs for both of them...may God comfort them like he promised in Exodus they shall see peace in their lives...❤❤❤
i m so emotional ,tears are falling down and my heart is falling apart as i m listening to his story about suicide
Narcissists are predators that drain and abuse the later survivors emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially, etc. These is an awakening call to know and run as fast from people with narcisstic behaviors ASAP . These two are survivors and victors for coming out. 💜 from Kenya
The pain in their voices.. just brings tears
This topic is so close to my heart ❤
I just wanted to give him a hug when he talked about being homeless 💔💔😭
Zandile and Matthew, you are both beautiful and I'm sending you lots of love. Embodiment of courage and thriving after meeting Devils.
Wishing you the best!!!
♥️♥️♥️
People out there are evil my tears were just streaming listening to Matthew's story.
Be strong dear you are a fighter.Thank you for sharing your stories
Why is it that the police are always inhumane!!!! Is it just sociopaths who join the police force!??? 😭😭😭😭😭
Mass employment does that to society. Policing, nursing, teaching need empathy, character and mental maturity ON TOP OF THE ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS. When you employ ppl who are in it for the money, society dies
I don’t know how I stumbled upon this channel, but I’m so happy I did! The interviewer is AMAZING, and I love the set.
It’s interesting that PREP is not very popularized in Africa yet. I know many people here in the USA that take it. It’s illegal to intentionally spread HIV here. I also think Matthew’s perpetrator would be dead if that happened here in the USA. Given the intensity of the situation, someone would have shot it stabbed him! How in the world could he admit he knew he had it, AND insult him by saying he deserved to receive HIV???? Wowwww Matthew! I wish I could just give you a big hug! Your poise and resilience should be applauded! Thank you both for sharing your stories.
I also think Relebogile's intro should show these moments too, I mean where we cutting onions and swallowing deep. The show has a lot of sad stories (which are educational and enjoyable) however the show's intro has our host smiling many times and only showing happy faces you would swear it's an OPW show. But maybe it's me overthinking🥴... Otherwise, thank you sis Lebo for this, I mean You Tube has never felt so warm and mind opening...💓💓
Zandile and Matthew, this is truly unfortunate. For someone else you've come across you've been a blessing and an eye opener. Your had strength to turn your life around. One of you is a doctor. It seems you have forgiven yourselves and overcome depression, that alone deserves an accolade. Sending virtual hugs.
Things I took away from this....
There are people who care about you. Do not be like Bongani and shut people out.
People rarely change. Believe them the first time.
Rather squat with friends than live with someone who abuses you
Speak up when you see a predator with a child
Love yourself enough to walk away from what no longer serves you. It will me hard at times but you matter.
I wish both Bongani and Zandi love, light, healing and so much joy. Lord knows they deserve all good things.
I have drawn more strength from these stories. You are such an inspiration
Matt and Zandile, thank you so much for sharing your stories. Your lives have purpose. May God carry you day by day. Thank you Relebogile for creating this platform for them
This was so sad. But it was also inspiring because you created beauty from ashes. You rose out of circumstances that were supposed to destroy you and you are healing others through your stories. God bless. Have you ever wanted to stick your hands into your phone screen so you could reach someone and give them a hug? That's how I felt. ❤