How to Accept, Forgive and MOVE ON after a Break-up | Stephanie Lyn Coaching
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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Stephanie
www.StephanieLynLifeCoaching.com
It’s so hard to accept that he’s not the man I thought he was. So disappointed. Still grieving 😭💔
I know.. it is disappointing but there is someone amazing out there!! 💜
I'm right there with you! I'm working on it though. This video helps SO much. I have listened to it several times and will continue to listen to it as much as I need to. I am also lucky/blessed to have very supportive friends, one in particular, that reminds me of much of what Stephanie says here. We'll get through this! It takes time.
Let’s meet
I understand you completely! I feel the exact same way. I feel so lost right now after nearly 4 intense years of giving everything I have to man with multiple addiction and just incapable of loving anyone😭
@@jonsmith8083 You're funny. That's so out of the blue!
Forgive ourselves for not knowing what I know now. That hit home.
💯
I can't.
Hardest thing for me. Feel so ashamed.
Understanding that there are more fish in the sea that are actually higher quality than the last person you met is a good way of recovering from break ups.
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS
Truthbomb 👍❤️😎🙏
I have listened to this 3 times in a row. Such a powerful video. If you don't forgive and move on then they have won.
I don't think the point is for me to win and her (or him) to lose. I don't mind losing to her every single day as long as she is my partner. I don't even get to lose to her and that's ok. I forgive and move on.
Accepting isn’t being okay with something, it’s recognizing that this is what it is. It’s not about agreeing with it or understanding. It’s just taking in the fact that this is life rn.
Taylor Lynn Hansen
That’s acknowledgement and acceptance
Ÿy Rt tv
One of the biggest things, was when I did or saw something that I would usually rush off to text or tell him about, and I stopped myself. That’s big. You become so used to sharing laughs, and sharing moments, and then you realize that sometimes you just have to appreciate those moments on your own ❤️ Or with other friends and loved ones.
I'm struggling being alone and feeling alone all the time after the breakup. I know it's something i have to go thru, but i am so sad and lonely and depressed. Everyone walks around me, i feel like i do not exist anymore
just try to be strong and know that this is normal you are 100% good on your own u will find somebody that you truelly deserve
Same rn
You need to try and spend time with friends or go to things where you can atleast be social with others but it'll happen once you're ready.
hang in there... this is normal. try a mantra before you go to sleep... "I did my best. I'm in a better position now".. keep it on repeat until you fall asleep...it's a game changer
@@RedRooster123 Wow. Needed this. Thank u!!!🙏🏽💙
I’m gonna list some powerful and uplifting break up songs 10/10 recommend . 1. B.S - Jhene Aiko ft. HER 2. Speak - Jhene Aiko 3. Define me - Jhene Aiko 4. Lexiis Outro - Kehlani 5. Love myself - Olivia O’brian 6. Best thing I never had - Beyoncé 7. Good As Hell - Lizzo ft. Ariana Grande
Thank u. @kristina Making sure I have these in my itunes.
Rejection is God's new redirection for your life. It was only a lesson a failed relationship. You were there to teach him a lesson and he was there to teach you lessons... your life is a storybook with chapters. He was part of one chapter..
You are so good at what you do. Whatever you talk about ALWAYS talks to me and I don't feel judged but always eager to find healing! 🌸❤
People who has parents with the same issues, it’s hard for them to see it’s not normal.
We gotta let them keep thinkn that...not your problem. Theres
I can do the forgiveness in my head, but the acceptance and moving on I'm struggling with, even though I know it's not good for me to stay in this relationship.
This is spot on, Stephanie. Tears in my eyes. Thank you so much!
I’m finally accepting this phase of letting go. Ready to move on after being stuck for awhile.
The changed version of them is what I’m grieving for sure 😊❤ Thank you. 🙏🏽
Stephanie,
Thank you for this message. You made me realize what was preventing me from moving on because of a recent breakup. Everything you said hit me hard because it was everything I was feeling and wondering about. I'm going to take some time to myself tonight for some reflective thinking. I can forgive my ex, myself, and move forward after this.
This is what I’m going through right now. Going through the grieving process of a breakup that happened almost 2 months ago.
Me too girl. Im almost 2months in & its hard but me walking away was better than staying😞
ashley ware same here 💕🙏 some days I feel amazing, some days I’m crying hard. Lots of disappointment surrounding him and what happened. “We have to accept that things are changing...”
Yea the first two weeks were the hardest. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Acceptance and forgiveness is sooo hard.
Rome wasn't built in a day. You're rebuilding yourself, so it'll take time to do that as well sweetie. You'll be bigger and badder ass than ever. It's #BuildABitch time!
Karina Passi thank you sooo much for your kind words!!
“Nothing can grow without tears”
I have forgiven them and now i am working on forgetting them , its the only way to recover
Thank you for this video, it’s been a hard 3 weeks for me since the break up, but I have hope that I will get through this hardship and be able to heal and find a man who can be respectful and have integrity in a relationship❤️
@whatsapphim8499 I’m talking with a therapist who has been helping me understand why I was attracted to someone, who definitely shouldn’t of continued in my life. I was in love with his potential, and even though he was very disrespectful as has little integrity, I kept returning to the relationship, hoping he would change. But I’m realizing through therapy he can’t change, he’s not at a level of understanding his faults and actions. He may never, and that’s on him not me. I’m moving through it, and talking to other men, have a weekend date the end of the month, so yea I’m moving on and much happier now.
This is such a great message, and so easy to understand intellectually. But very hard to implement emotionally. The sense of injustice seems so strong even though I'm a year into this. And three kids that were so young. It's a very hard situation to accept and internally forgive.
It’s the way he left that hurts. I can’t get past it. I know he wasn’t who I wanted to be with but the hurt won’t go away.
She ripped my heart out but I spent 10 years with her. It's so hard to let go, to move on.
Growth comes from pain squeeze out every lesson. Thank you Stephanie ❤️
These videos have saved my sanity! Thank you so much. During covid I haven't been able to see my therapist in person so being able to watch these videos really help me in therapy. I am going through a separation with someone I really loved and they hurt me badly. We have a beautiful baby so I have to deal with him still. These videos have really helped me! 💝
Why "settle" for someone? Such a negative thing, "settling". There is so many people out there, why do that to yourself?
2:50 why is it so difficult? I believe we push to see and believe what we want. Even when it’s clear. We have to let go, even when still in love and completely detach.
b lank
Yes!
So True 👍
The art of detachment
Accept who they are & pay attention to the red flags y | build your self up with self-love | move on quickly & let go of controlling your future - life is good again 🤟🏽
Man this video came right on time!! I really needed to hear this! I’m going through this right now!
Being concerned about financial stability as a senior citizen is keeping me stuck in a less than satisfactory marriage.
Thank you for sharing this video. Your ideas make sense. Sometimes I feel like I must be okay now but it is not how it works. I figured out I feel relaxed when I let myself feel the feeling. It can be longing, anger, or anything both positive and negative. Additionally, I am aware that I will be remembering some instances from this relationship all my life. There is nothing like getting rid of it.
Instead, making peace with them, accepting failures, trying to learn some lessons makes me feel relaxed. There are many things that I am disappointed of my ex-partner but I see that there are dozens of things that I could have acted differently too. I messed up in many points too. It does not mean I had a chance to save the relationship. It means from now on I can take the responsibilities to my hand instead of being codependent.
Anyways, now instead of holding a grudge, I am re-learning to be self-reliant. I am sure that after that it does not matter if I stay single, get back to my ex, or start to date someone new. Surely, it will be a better experience as long as I take care of myself and share the rest of it with someone who has similar values and expectations.
If something causes pain it is not love is my new motto in life. Practising self love and care. Stand up and stay calm in difficult conversations with abusive partners. I forgive myself and him.
Hello I got my relationship fixed and my ex is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want it.
WhstApp him.
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This is so great and what I am finally realizing after 54 years and 2 broken relationships as well as the ones with my family of origin where all this stuff began. Cry at times but realizing the importance of self, boundaries and self worth. Thanks
Pain is a great motivator
Thank you, I so needed to hear this and am making the final break after 26 years with a borderline narcissist💜
31 years here. It’s so hard when everything’s changed even when the change was needed.
I'm struggling with this video because I haven't been successful at anything in my life despite how how much effort I put in.
So good , thank you 😊 I'm at the end of the break up process, it's been 1 year and 6 months . And I let myself feel everything so fully. I'm at the point of now building up my belief & knowing that what u truly want is out there.
I've done the work.
I've cried my tears
I've punched the pillows many many times
❤
Whoever is going through it, keep going 💪 I promise you it's gonna be worth it.
Let your tears water your growth
How can you hope for something that you never had and don't know exists? That seems like believing in a fantasy. Then someone will come along and provide that fantasy and fool you. Then you will be subject to covert manipulators. Some people don't know the difference than to be treated like garbage. You want to hold out for a good relationship, but sometimes they never appear, ever. False hopes make the heart grow weary. People get tired and end up wanting to give up then. It is better to say maybe there is no one, but you still won't accept rotten ones.
No one is better than someone bad. That is what someone told me once. So you accept that everyone is bad around you and just refuse to settle for that. Knowing you will find someone good and then never finding it, that makes you feel sick. You will end up projecting what you want on people who aren't that good. It is like blind faith. That seems like a good way to get really hurt.
In a successful relationship you have to take another as yourself with the expectation of getting the same thing back or it will not work
I cannot sign off on the commonly accepted notion that “forgiveness is for one’s self regardless of whether the wrongdoer repents.” Forgiving a non-repentent person only serves to reinforce the wrongdoer’s willingness to continue to engage in bad conduct towards you and others. Thus, forgiving without repentence is immoral and selfish.
Just a fantatic, on-point video again. True forgiveness doesn't come easily to most of us and it does require a lot of inner work that can be difficult and painful, but I'd far rather that than to be mired in negativity for the rest of my life; when people are especially resistant, they don't want to hear that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, first and foremost, but it really *is*.
I found this TH-cam channel at the perfect time!!!
thing is, it's hard to forgive somebody who systematically manipulated, stole, lied & ultimately wasted a big % of my life, and then they go off & destroy your reputation !!!!!!!
justletmesigninokthx but the thing is if you don't forgive then a bigger part of your life it's going to be destroyed. Unforgiveness causes your bones and insides to rot and you become a very bitter angry individual. Remember the person who tried to destroy the bigger part of your life they're already rotten to the Core don't join them.
@sleepy cat Totally understand where you stand.. lost 3 of the MOST precious years of my life - and got 5years work destroyed - due to "my narcissist". On top of the smashed dream, the hurt and pain received, the destruction of my past life.. the smear campaign, the lies, the.. uff. Too much stuff. Just.. too much. Depression kicked in and im fighting to get out of the pit since February 2017. The hardest part is to realize i may have to grieve the non realization of me having a kid ["with the man i thought was the man of my life"].
same here 7 years
What if I was the one who messed up. How can I forgive myself and move on? I feel a lot of guilt thinking that things would of been different if I hadn’t messed up. I would like to get my life back but I feel it’s too late for me.
But I'll give you this: this is the goal.. but it's not gonna work trying to jump straight over without learning.... You can't slip through or try skipping steps. Everything we fail at catches up with us, ...so own it, face it.. ...stop the games and do it.
I love this!!✨💕 Thank you For this long & detailed podcast
Accepting the bitter truth is painful but necessary to let go
Make me so happy whenever your video comes on, can you make a video on making "space" in your life by gettin rid of clutter/toxic people/relationships?. I would love to put that in my playlist💖
👍
Stephanie Lyn Coaching
Yes 😁 please & thank you
@@StephanieLynCoaching Ooooh! Yaaaas! That would b a great one. Seriously! TIA and bless u.🙏🏽💙
I dunno.. i feel like im not deserving real love. Its crazy. Im a real good girl.. with a firm character but i give too much too quickly.. yet i start all my relationships thru friendship, trust.. im 41 - still in super shape - clever - creative - loving - caring - and still have not found a real long lasting, healthy, positive, constructive relationship... i lost all hope frankly. I suffered so much i dunno anymore how to not put up walls. Im working hard not to protect myself too much but - after 10years being alone (since my last long 5y. relationship) i feel like Love is just not for me. Been betrayed so much that i even lost any motivation to make myself happy. Or thriving at anythg good for myself. Loneliness is killing me softly. Im tired of men & their ego. "Take, take, take"... im tired. Really.
How are you now?
@@Lora7890 43, recently in touch again with the man who rejected me --- heartache, virtual break up (when i wrote 1st comment i was SO ready to invest myself and commit --- i was still hoping - trying - making that connection concrete and get off of the ground, we have a 12years diff. and he's distant, geographically - and i was going nuts because we had plenty of misunderstandings due to 'distant communication' + LOADS of 3d parties interferences). On top of which, i was being REvictimized on past hardships. The whole things annihilated my self esteem and my usual positivity. I realized i pick emotionally unavailable men. Trying to get his attention.... For years. I am working on myself to get out of said pattern and decided to move forward. I've waited 5 years (more or less) for a ghost. Funny you asked cuz i decided yesterday i had enough (i don't retire Nothing but pain) --- i'm tying up the lose ends of this awful past cycle. I'm over it and super done. ....Ready for a New Beginning and someone that will love me for myself. Not a player boy who just saw me as a vague option, made me feel horrible and still doesn't seem to get me. Juggling his options. And UNchosing me each time. ... Thanks you asked. That's a good alarm bell.
This is an incredible message!! Thank you
Such a great video! Thanks a lot dear Stephanie!! Helped me so much! 💟😘
Oh my gosh, you are such a cheerleader! You are singing my song! This so huge! What an epiphany! I am so encouraged to be me and learn to love myself so I can love others and being successful. I do deserve it and I am worthy. That relationship does exist! Allow myself to experience all the feelings including grief. Thank you Stephanie, this is a life changer for me. I am so grateful. Thank you God for the revelations.
Grief makes the heart SICK. GRIEF LEADS TO DEPRESSION & near death.
Grieving until death & loss of identity. Roles. Lost. Helplessness. UNHEALTHY. Acceptance is NOT EASY STORMS. LIFE IS TOUGH. The FOOLS REFUSE TO LISTEN TO WISDOM. MEMO. NEXT STEP. NEXT.
If it doesn't hurt a little..it's probably not the truth. Thank you for this Coach Stephanie.💙 #TruthHurts
😭😭😭 I did the best at that time ...freeing
I needed this so much. Thank you so, so much.
I think the reason why it's so hard to leave , from experience is my abuser also gave me alot of love at the beginning which I fell in love with, once they show you the true colours you are constantly finding that person who you met at the beginning hence why I kept forgiving ... But you will only find that person for a few days and you are back in the horrible cycle x that's my experience x
Hello I got my relationship fixed and my ex is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want it.
WhstApp him.
+ 2 3 4 7 0 4 4 5 0 9 7 9 2!
Such a healing message , it's really helps me . thank you so much ❤️
This talk is very deep and i actually felt that it was very useful. You only grow through pain as you said and you need to know how to process your negative emotions and not suppress it and be kind to yourself. The fact that some people in your life will hurt you and that will awakens you is so true
It could be panic attack but also Primal Panic.
Primal Panic "Primal panic is the chronic anxiety in relationships of a hyper-aroused state due to being preoccupied with a current partner or ex-partner or the state of the relationship itself, and based on feeling separated or disconnected from your loved one.
I have experience that a couple of times and it’s so hard to overcome.
I forgive her because I know what is hurting her. She was molested as a child by her father. She cannot completely commit and jumps from man to man. After having a daughter together I hoped she would see what life is about. She cheated on me since Feb 2021 and disappeared about 3 months ago with our daughter. They are staying with the new guy now. I am using the contact rule as I have done all I could. With cheating there is no goign back. It is what it is. 😔
Very true. It's also valid that sometimes people can become, not only emotionally riveted to a person or situation, but economically stuck as well. Especially married couples with children. When it comes to nurturing a family, individual goals can often get lost in the fray, superceded by what's in the best interest of the whole, particularly where children are concerned. Accounts merge. Goals get postponed, even forfeited. Assets become communal and you really begin to lose autonomy, over time. This is amplified for families with one breadwinner and one parent who stays home. The domestic parent can begin to feel weakened by their situation and grow stagnant (another noteable lack). In those unique situations, I think many times, folks prefer to move on (even though it's hard) but, financially, it may not be feasible. In those cases, I think the stuckness becomes a kind of comfortable complacency.
Thank you for this strong message. Working on self is eye opening with regard to painful situations!
You may have already noticed this but coaching is misspelled in the website URL in your graphic.
I really appreciate your videos - especially this one. I've been in therapy for depression, anxiety, and OCD for about 6 months. I've struggled with these since I was a child and I'm just now - at 48 years old - dealing with them. As I unravel all the damage over the years, I've had to take a very hard look at the people in my life and try to determine if they're good for me or if I need to move on from them. Your message is exactly what I need. Thank you!
It’s really interesting to me that there are men on the whole red pill MGTOW thing (which I’m not a fan of overall) that are appreciating some of your videos. It gives me hope that the anonymity of the internet will ultimately help humans relate and connect to each other in more positive ways, rather than just encourage disconnection and give shelter for dark corners of Internet hate, resentment, and bias confirmation (like we see with some incel communities). I think especially for Americans under 30, especially men but women too, there’s an epidemic of loneliness, isolation, negativity. I think it’s why suicide rates have gone up so much and contributed to the opioid epidemic. I’m happy to see positive stuff like this making it to new audiences, this isn’t vacuous positive thinking or evolutionary pseudo science (alpha/beta BS etc) it’s actually useful and true. Thank you 🙏
Your website is misspelled in your beautiful cover photo. (I'm a graphic designer and I notice stuff like that :)
Another excellent lesson. Well done! 👍
From my experience: men grief in isolation, women in the arms of another man
I just want to say you are really a blessing. And I appreciate your kind heart and tone. It helps when you're going through to have a kind voice to get advice from. Thanks and God bless you
😂
Oh ....i'm sure they would love that.
Accountability is a GOOD thing. Put them in their place, set things right , keep them from ruining other's lives... or at the least learn and help others on how to be able to get to a place emotionally where we can "forgive' them... but where one succeeds, another drops the ball. Either we're here for each other, or ..we're here to keep attention on our own selfish selves. Can't have it both ways.
When it comes to destructive, toxic, dark Triad ridden, histrionic human hurricanes.... You can't just walk away knowing others will get hurt without at least doing something to make amends for choosing them and giving them power in the first place
Every episode, new or old, resonates with me. It's like you're talking directly to me. You'll never know how much you have helped me heal.
Your videos are so very helpful get me through a horrible breakup. Thank you.
How am I supposed to forgive what she did to me? She destroyed my whole life. Someone I loved for 10 years and took care of provided and protected and her own 2 kids and bought the home she was renting and she tossed me in the garbage like I was nothing. I've been suicidal for 7 months now. Jesus christ I can't get over this and my so called life is a nightmare steph
The pillow looks like your skirt n your legs are ...behind youu
STAY CLINT - Mermaid! 😉
My wife changed dramatically after 3.5 years of marriage.
this video is just a reminder why men should go MGTOW
How to defeat mental illness by learning how to think critically.
"Okay".
Critical thinking
Thanks!
This came at the right time for me x
This, right here, is exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my journey. Thank you for all that you do.
I needed this. ❤️
I've looped many of Stephanie's talks, this one in particular! Thank you Stephanie Lyn!
This is my 1st listen but am saving cuz will definitely b doing the same. @deborahmowatt
Thank you so much for this.
Yes it hard bad how let go move on from my ex cheat how overcome anger how let wall down help me
A fantastic, affirming, and personally informative video.
Yes God teach me to forgive my ex and I forgive myself I have self love myself
How did Stephanie Lyn obtain her knowledge
Getting over a break up is a cakewalk it’s getting over the abuse that most of us here struggle with far after we have realized it’s for the best that the person is out of our life
@yogamommy I love ur handle name! I’m a yogi, too! How r u feeling these days, as it’s been a year that u left this comment? I’m only 2+mos NC w my ex narc. Very very abusive. 2.5yrs. Found out over 2mos ago, he was living a completely different life. I’m just so mad at myself. I think I’m often angrier w myself than w him? Why did I put up w his abuse? Why didn’t I see the red flags?
13 months I wake and sleep with what was done to me.
I was so blind and in love
I let it happen.
Holding a regular job down for six to twelve months of your life after being discarded by a Narcissist should be a given and allowed for with payments paid for by the Government during that period, when it can be recognised....who pays the bill?...you do the math.
PLEASE do something on this subject Stephanie...i am just over a year out of discard...and my daughter is trapped in this "CIRCLE OF EXCREMENT"...TRAPPED.
Can you please make a video of how we can accept and feel our sadness
I forgive him because I know he loved me the best way he knew how. When I learn’t how to 💖 myself first, I was finally able to become unstuck, move on & let him go with ❤️ and ☮️. 🙏 Stephanie- you have taught me so much!
hello do you need help on how to get your ex back or restore someone you love
there is a love specialist who helped me get my ex back after 2years of divorce
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Thank you
This really helps me.
How do i forgive my self if i was the toxic one 😭
Love your videos! Help me a lot ❤️
Thank you so much for this video, Stephanie.
You describe exactly what I am going through. I hope I will make it.
It just hurts so much... I am trying to let him go....but
I am afraid of letting the hope go.
The hope or them returning?
I’m on the boat. I want to let go but I still have hope that he can see how great we can be together and they can make it work if we both really try. My problem is that he don’t see that and doesn’t want to try now. It’s so hard.
You just saved my life. God bless you
Forgive yourself- ok
Forgive the cheater- never
No forgive the cheater too. It will take time but try and don't hold on to that feeling.
I wonder if you've changed your mind in 2 years... I forgave my cheater. Who cares
@@RippleDrop.
Nope, they never fess up and tell the truth. I think of it every single day multiple times,.my life is forever altered in numerous ways not mention the lifelong effects on child.
It destroys your identity
@@JohnSmith-fw2et I'm deeply sorry you went through. I know you in that place...somehow alike. My mother is a narcissist and it's not replaceable. I'm never having a family. But resentment only poisons me. It's time to transcend it and let it in the hands of the universe to deal with it. I'm free even as it's breaking my heart and sorrow in depth impossible to explain. Trust you are taken care of and love awaits on the other side of forgiveness possibly when we trust against all odds. All the power be with you in your healing.
This is my favourite video that you’ve done and came at a great time. Thankyou.
I have Come to the conclusion that The Creator is handling it for me, guiding me, helping me to overcome it. .
Knowing, And discovering about Narcissim is itself a Great Healer.
Thank You 🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕