I came out when I was 11 as bisexual, back then I was naive and I thought that my mother would love me unconditionally but unfortunately that wasn't the case. A week later she tells me to get in the car that we are going to the airport. I didn't question it so we went and there was an army detail that opened my door and took me arm in hand I was freaking out because I didn't know what was happening. I go to look at my mom and she had the most stern look on her face and said that I was going to get fixed and I'll come back when I'm perfect. From Miami international airport I was sent to Puerto Rico to go to a military school for 9 months. The 9 months i was there I had to grow up fast. My mom never once called me when I was there. Not for my birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas, new years, or Easter. The only reason why I was taken out of the military school was because my grandma (my mom's mom) stopped talking to my mother until i had returned. My innocent 11 year old self grew up fast I was robbed of my childhood I spent ages 12-15 in a deep depression my mom's side of the family disowned me. My mom kicked me out countless of times until I was 16 and I met my best friend she happens to be a lesbian and she covers for me as my beard so to say. From the constant dehumanizing I received from my mom on the daily stopped. Slowly she started go be nicer and more pleasant. I lie to her now about who I am. But to everyone else I'm open about who I am. I'm 18 now about to graduate from High school and I'm saving to move out. My coming out story isn't the happiest. But I have to say if I didn't go to military school and I had to deal with my mom's constant dehumanizing and bullying I would've killed my self long ago. I'm thankful that my dad does accept me. And his support has been giving me hope for the future. Because I do love my mom regardless of what emotional, mental or physical pain she's caused me. It's always had to recall this but at least it shows that others who have a bad experience coming out as cliche as it sounds it will get better and there is always hope. Thanks Daniel for sharing your coming out story. It reassures me that everything will turn out okay. With love Andrew
Andrew arenas - please know that your mother had the issue, she had the defect NOT you, shame on her for her behavior, she does not have the right just because she is your mother to judge you, her judgement will come one day and I would guess it won't be a good one,,,,,,
Im soo sorry for your bad past😢that's such a sad thing to hear your own parents/family disown you like that that's ashame. (Edit: 2020) I was scared for a while to come out but then finally came out (2 years ago) and everyone I know supported me, so don't be afraid cuz if your friends and family truly love you they'll support you. ❤
omg this actually brought tears to my eyes, and I'm a grown man damned :). And then being able to love her regardless, wow. It takes a strong and beautiful soul to do that. To those in similar situations please know there are always always people that will love you unconditionally and whatever situation you're in now, it will get better.
If you desire additional logical support, or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
By the word "that" of the phrase you say they asked you, they very probably referred to something that both they and you called "to be gay". The problem is... ...that people don't know the real meaning of "gay", so one has to explain what it really is about. If I don't like bad things and there's something I BELIEVE to be bad, I won't like nor accept it.
@My Own Private Idaho Yes. But they (the parents) wouldn't react that way if they understood what being gay is. It is ignorance what needs to be "attacked" the most, because it's the mother of this and many other kinds of injustice.
I too am a pastors child. Dad still doesn’t talk to me. The worst was the “alter of prayer” the church tried to do on me when my dad took it to the church and they tried to pray the gay away. Humiliating to say the least.
Pastor’s grandson here. My family still hasn’t given up and though they say they love me and hate the sin, they still treat me differently and exclude me from many family things. I feel they only see me to pray for me and just to make sure I haven’t gone to “hell” yet. As if I’m some sort of charity they must perform.
I had it easy I have a step mom who used to be a lesbian but now she is married to my dad and she was so much help on getting my dad to understand what it's like and his side of the family is tough but you... you are strong I don't think I would be able to tell my parents that if they went to church or if they would make me go to a conversion camp. Like I said you had I really tough. And by the way I'm 14 and I realized I was gay at the age of 10.
She'll come around. It's like a loss for a parent. They have to ruminate over the fact you're not following the path they imagined you to take. Kinda selfish really.
Dan Seshat hello! an update on this; my parents have come around and been super supportive :) it was really scary at first but it feels like a weight has been lifted. if you’re in a safe place to do so / you’re ready, then go for it. They might not take it that well at first like mine did
I remember my father telling all his kids (I'm the second oldest of four, birth order: older brother, me, younger sister, younger brother), that he'd love us no matter what. I got the opportunity to come out to him when I was 21, and he was so worried that he'd put too much pressure on me to be attracted to women. He died of an unexpected heart attack not long after that. I have no doubt that we would've formed a great relationship; he was a great man; I hope I'm like him.
I always knew I was gay even as a small child, well, I did not know the word gay as meaning homosexuality but I was always intensely attracted to guys even grown men when I in the first grade. I was always the target of bullies which made school a total nightmare so I played hooky a lot. When the teacher left the room, or the bell rang to go to recess I would just cringe with total dread knowing what I would be facing on the so-called playground with the bullies. I usually had one friend who was usually somewhat cerebral because I abhorred slobs and morons. Had my first sexual experience at fourteen years old with a classmate. I never really came out of the closet because I was never in the closet, ever. My whole family knew I was different and just accepted it, never liked sports, PE class, or pep assemblies. I quit school at sixteen because it was just too much of a traumatic experience being beaten up every day before school and after school and during school hours when no adults were around. My life has been very difficult at times being that my childhood school experience has made me very intolerant, hostile, and unable to patronize anyone attempting to ramrod me around. I am now an alcoholic but have not drunk anything in two years. I got to much into the gay bar scene in my younger years and started drinking on daily bases by the time I was in my mid-twenties. In conclusion, I am now sixty-one, living with my eighty-three-year-old mother in a small Texas city of four thousand population. I am basically content but alone well besides my mother, have a nice family and a peaceful existence but was always hoping for more like wealth and excitement. Oh well, there is always tomorrow!! Enjoyed your video!!!!!
Me too -- I didn't even realize that 'gay' was a thing that was different or 'abnormal,' it just was who I was. It would take me maybe three years from the time I first had my, like, awakening to the fact that I was into men to the time where I actually figured out that it was this whole thing called 'being gay' XD
I realised i was gay when I started to question why I didn’t like boys in the way my friends did then we got a new English teacher and at first I was like I wanna look like that and then I was like no I think I just want that I’m still not out well I am. To a close friend and on the internet sometimes
I was about six when I knew I was different. I was sat on the bus upstairs, my man and dad behind me. We'd pulled in to a bus stop and there was a lad standing at it who caught my eye. As we drove away I turned my head to keep looking at him and saw a look on my mother's face that has haunted me all my life. It was one of disgust and worry. That's when I realized that showing interest in my own sex was not the done thing and became covert about it. I think a lot of gays experience something similar and learn to hide their true feelings. You are the exception.
Considering your age. I assume that your family couldn't put you to another school. Then again maybe your family was one of those "get over it" "boys being boys" "man up son!" I assume your mom and anyone else in family doesn't know.
That was unfortunate. My own coming out was very uneventful. I stayed in the closet til 20 because I live in the rural south and as you might expect the homophobic evangelicals make up the majority of the population. I came out to my mother while driving with her in the vehicle. I pulled over and tried to voice it but nothing would come out. Nerves. But she intuitively picked up on what was going on and said it for me and then the conversation flowed from there. It was good. My thinking was that I would come out to my mother because I felt she was the only person I owed any explanation to, and then the rest of the planet could find out on their own or not. But I wasn't thinking that my mother is the family gossip, within 24hrs EVERYONE knew. My sister was in Germany at the time and even she knew! Thankfully everyone was supportive and has been ever since. Even with the community I haven't experienced as much issue as I expected. Only a couple not even noteworthy instances over almost 18 years ago. Even my Grandmother was supportive, she was the first to try and coax me out of the closet probably a couple years before this. I have been very fortunate in this regard. And I'm glad that you got away to where you could safely and freely come into your own!
Thank you for sharing your incredible story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You! So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians. The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! They even removed verses of Jesus Christs many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate! In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses! If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Best Wishes and God Bless!
Lol does your father know divorce is a sin in the bible? I always find it hilarious (but also sad) when divorced people tell their gay kids they're going to hell.
@@70sfred1Jesus actually addressed that question. He said that basically, because the Israelites’ hearts “were hard,” they were allowed this accommodation, just like how they were allowed the accommodation of polygamy. This is what Jesus said in Matthew 19:8-9, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Therefore, technically speaking, divorce itself is not a sin, but remarriage to a different person after divorce is, unless the divorce happened due to cheating in the initial marriage as Jesus explicitly specifies.)
The divorced guy has a problem with someone being gay lol... someone needs to remind him that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Sorry you had, and continue to, go through that. I am incredibly lucky, my whole family is incredibly liberal and are super cool about it.
yep, I picked-up on that point too... "parents", lol, hardly ! jesus there should be a test..... love you Daniel, send them a copy of Prayers for Bobby for Xmas.... its great that they 'came-around' eventually, but seems they did this for themselves not because they really changed their attitude. I could never forgive those 2 years of hate. Thank god for your real mam. x
Grant Albrecht , I don't have a problem with gays but what does one thing have to do with the other? it takes one person out of two to initiate a divorce (usually woman) .
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You! So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians. The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! They even removed verses of Jesus Christs many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate! In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses! If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Best Wishes and God Bless!
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support, or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I am a parent - my daughter came out to me last year (at 14!) and I sometimes cruise these videos to get some insight on how to, quite frankly, not say stupid things. We are lucky because we are super close and I really don't care that she is gay. We live in a really liberal city, Boston, and there is not much I am worried about outside of the regular things, will she fall in love with a great girl? Will a girl love her for all that she is? Will she be happy? I hope she has children. I hope she has a great career.. . blah blah. She is already beautiful, funny, smart, independent and strong - so I really cannot ask for much more. When I come across these types of videos my heart breaks. Know that your parents love you I am sure and that the ignorance and intolerance is about them, not you. Like at all. Not for a second. I am sure you have been told this, but its the truth. You will find your peace with them. I hope they find theirs. You a gorgeous, articulate, brave man - I wish you love and happiness with whatever path and whomever you choose :)
Very nice message!! However, I tell you that it's not a "path one can choose". (I don't know what you really meant by saying that at the end of your comment, sorry).
Leandro Gasperi The ‘life path’ would be career, family, friends, location, finances, etc. I never meant to insinuate it was a choice about sexuality - of course not! My apologies for any confusion in the way I wrote it :)
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You! So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others. Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians. The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate! In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament. David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses! If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican! Best Wishes and God Bless!
I got here from your old video, it's wild to see how much you've grown into yourself! this internet stranger is proud of you. my coming out was in middle school, I went to this high school fair and while pouring over the pamphlets on the ride home I kept talking about an LGBT friendly alternative school in a roundabout way while my mom was stuck in traffic. at a certain point she just turned to me and yelled "are you gay? are you straight? what are you???" it freaked me out, but it was just road rage and distraction. she wasn't mad, just impatient!
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You! So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others. Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians. The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate! In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament. David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses! If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican! Best Wishes and God Bless!
Hey Daniel, I'm glad all your family accept you now. It must have been very hard for you at the time. I came out aged 21, like you my mother was brilliant. Happily she said she would tell my father. Later she told me he'd had a 'magic moment' which, on completion, she asked "are you done?". Apparently, she then proceeded to wipe him around the floor asking him "What the hell mattered about it?".... He agreed and both parents have been brilliant ever since. I was very lucky, my parents were and still are very supportive and accepting. My heart goes out to the guys who really are hurt in the process. May I ask please, could you take your bf / partner for an extended visit to your father's home? ((((((Big Hug))))) and love to you. Xx
My Mom still feels that way about Me. I was surprised that My Dad took it better than She did. I don't think He really understands it, but He is more accepting than My Mom is.
Listening to this make me realize how lucky I am. When I came out as bisexual my dad was ok with it and I was surprised because he’s Mexican and was raised catholic but my mom is just now getting used to it she’s just worried that my life is gonna be hard And I know that When I met my BFF for the first time, the first thing she asked me was “Are you gay?” I told her I’m bi I’m so lucky to have her in my life she’s help improve my mental health and calm me down from anxiety attacks I was dating a guy when I came out to my other friend he said “well at least you can’t get a girl pregnant” and I told him I still could cause I also date girls
Great example of how ‘it gets better’. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m glad your family came around and treat you with the respect you deserve:)
I have to admit, I always get wound up around the behavior of those in the "religious right." I was fortunate when I came out at age 22 (I knew from age 12 that I was attracted to guys) that my parents were pretty accepting and understanding, although they had a hard time dealing with what being gay meant for me and their potential future as grandparents. My struggle was mostly internal; by the time my dad asked me if I was gay, I was ready to say "yes," but I had to get it that being gay didn't necessarily define me as a person, it was just a part of who I was/am. My "acid tests" came when I went off to college at a VERY Southern Baptist university in Texas, and came face-to-face with the hypocrisy that is rampant in so many sects of organized religion. It wasn't just intolerance towards anyone who was different from "them," it was that THEIR version of the Bible was correct, and no one else's, and all sorts of other silliness. By the time I graduated 4 1/2 years later, I had sworn off organized religion altogether and embraced a higher unifying spirituality. My mother once acknowledged me for staying true to my positive, kind, good-hearted nature and not letting my struggles impact that. I would likewise acknowledge you, Dan, for the same. And to anyone dealing with coming out and struggling with being accepted by others - whether family, friends or any community - know you matter, you are valuable, you are unique, you are wonderful, and you are loved. The world is full of amazing people, it is a journey to find and connect with them, but it is one that is totally worthwhile.
Had the conversation with Dad then Mom .............we chat about it once. Never mentioned again. Brother and Sister disowned me .................So moved on and created a great family with great friends!!
It was probably 1972 when I came out to my mother. In 1974 I flew out of the closet. It was not easy but I was able to eventually bring it all together with my family. I enjoy the coming out stories, I was 20 and am now 67. All so long aho and far, far from my life today. I remember the pain and endless coming out to family member by family member. The coming out to family and friends back in the 1970s was a heroic journey. But it helped form a strong and sturdy constitution within me. I hope it does the same for you.
You've done very well educationally in spite of the pressure you've faced. A lot of gay people don't do well scholastically and career /job wise compared to their potential. Many damaged people and your's from watching some of your other videos, it's amazing that you stayed strong enough to come through and have made it better. What a horror story you've had. You are helping others in this a great deal. You are obviously a very caring and loving guy. So happy you are in the world. To make it better for those around you and your work toward mental heath (clothing brand) and life help through this youtube as many others set out to do is from a kind heart. The unsung hero''s out to make it better and those more known like you, are part of the cherished group, you know! (What a lovely smiling photo , so handsome and sexy, in your last frame of this video, Mr! )
Well that was terrible . So sad you and anyone else had to endure this . Years after I came out , my Dad got all serious with my older sister . He was very upset , and asked her if she thought I was going to Hell . Concerned , she asked him if he thought that because , I was Gay. No , he said : " He does not go to church anymore ! How will he be with us in heaven ?" She was relieved . They both did eventually grow to love my now Husband. Time helps .
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You! So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others. Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians. The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate! In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament. David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses! If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican! Best Wishes and God Bless!
I'm not out... Not fully anyway. A few close friends know> Idk what it is, I feel like I should have already come out. I'm 30. I don't think it's the fact of telling people, I think it's a matter of accepting myself. I don't think my family would accept it right away, but they'd get over it pretty quick. Thank you for sharing your story.
Billy Johnson it's always your choice whether or not to come out, and there's no correct age on when to do that. Two things to think about that were definitely true in my case: (a) them getting over it in time will only happen after you make the first move by coming out, and (b) I felt so relieved and relaxed after coming out, dealing with family that was unsure/unaccepting right away was easier than the burden of being closeted. If you chose to come out, I hope you find those to be true in your case too.
TheMaushPit thank you so much for your words. They truly mean a lot. The time you took away too reply means something. You’re right, The sooner they know in this situation the sooner they can move forward. Appreciate you.
Last Dance, I think we need to clear away the concept that to be 'gay' means 'to suck dick or to do anal.' In my mind, those are not related to being gay, but ways of showing love for some people. I think we need to make that distinction. If we truly love someone as a gay person, we want intimate sexual contact, probably. So, sucking dick and anal penetration can be ways of showing love for some people. Kissing, cuddling, and touching can be ways for other people. I would say just be free to be who you are. Nothing required but that. Just my opinion.........be who you are.......Thanks...........Ray
Accepting yourself definitely needs to happen first. I remember having this epiphany moment in college where I looked at myself in the mirror one day and made myself speak the words, "I'm gay." It was like I needed to push myself to acknowledge the fact that I was, in fact, gay. And the thing is, it was liberating in a weird way, to hear myself say those two words. But once I'd done that, it all kind of snowballed from there. Once I accepted it for myself, it was time to tell friends. And that made me feel more comfortable as they accepted me as I was, and by the time I had one not accept me as I was, I'd been supported enough that it didn't bother me much at all. The family was tough. Nothing went as I'd anticipated. In fact, everything went exactly opposite of how I'd expected; dad was fine, and mom had trouble. Middle brother was in my corner, little brother was upset. Exactly opposite of what I'd thought would happen.... It was hard for a while. But everything worked out with my mom and the baby brother. My father is gone now, but the rest of us have such a good relationship now. I have a long term partner and my nephew and my niece both refer to him as Uncle too. We have never pressed this, but let the kids choose how they refer to him, and both of them have decided he is also their uncle. My point, really, is that odds are that if you accept yourself, you will be accepted. And if, for some reason, you're not, the fact remains that you are loved, regardless of by whom. Blood may be family, but family goes beyond blood. You're never alone. 😊
I’ve just recently watched a few of your videos. Takes me back in time. I grew up in the 60’s, 70’s. Gay people back then were mostly relegated to t.v. talk shows or game shows as comic relief. I graduated from high school in 1980. Really didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I took a gap year, then enrolled in a community college. I met my first b/f there. He was a bit older than me, so I couldn’t introduce him to my folks because of the age difference. He began taking me to gay nightclubs, dance clubs and restaurants. I had 2 friends I’d known since high school. Two girls I was quite close to. I came out to them first to only be shocked when they told me they were gay as well, and a couple. They were quite closeted though and had never visited a gay bar. I asked if they wanted to try it with my b/f and they were curious and decided to try going with us. They met him for the first time when we all went out together. Things were going well for about a year, then everything fell apart. My folks had been very suspicious about the new “friend” they’d never met. They came home from a weekend at our yacht club. My mother was in a mood for a fight. She was picking away at me as soon as she walked through the door. She finally blurted out “John, are you GAY?”. I had been waiting for this explosion for a while, so I calmly said “I’ve realized in the last few years I’m attracted to men”. Then it really exploded. “BOB, DID YA HEAR THAT? YOUR SON IS GAY!”. My dad didn’t know what to say. Then my mom started screeching again. “SO I GUESS THIS NEW FRIEND OF YOURS IS GAY?” I said yes, Rich is gay. Then she shrieked a question she wasn’t expecting the answer to. “SO I GUESS THAT MEANS DEBORAH AND MICHELLE ARE GAY TOO?”. I calmly said, yes, Deborah and Michelle are gay too. She threw her hands in the air and screamed “SO EVERYBODY IS GAY AND I DONT KNOW ABOUT IT”. I said I didn’t think everybody was gay. That didn’t go over too well. More screaming in general, and what I wasn’t expecting happened. My folks said I had 30 minutes to pack what I wanted, leave my house keys, and the keys to the car they gave me as a gift, and GET OUT! I stood there stunned. “YOU BETTER MOVE BECAUSE NOW YOU HAVE 28 MINUTES!”. I ran up the stairs and packed everything I could think of I’d need for a job interview, grabbed my suits. Packed more things like underwear, grabbed all the notes and cards from Rich, walked down the stairs, threw the keys on the table and walked out the back door. I could feel the neighbors who were sitting on their front porches wondering what the hell had happened. I dragged everything up to Burger King to use the pay phone. I called my b/f who teased me I had to keep the calls down to 10 a day. I told him what happened. “Where are you?”. “I’ll be there as soon as I can”. We didn’t say much on the drive to his house. I walked through the door and fell apart. I cried for hours. I don’t know what time we went to bed. In the middle of the night I woke disoriented. Rich was facing me with his nose touching mine and his eyes staring into mine. “What are you doing?”. He said “I just wanted to make sure you were alright”. I cried again until I fell asleep. It was bad, for a while. It took my folks awhile, but they finally came around. I went through sleeping on peoples couches, and the floor. Rich said he just wasn’t ready to live with someone. My life was in turmoil for a while. Rich died suddenly after a leukemia diagnosis. A few years later, I was dating someone who surprised me with the fact he was living with AIDS. I told him I could handle it. But after 8 months, he felt considering what I’d been through, it would be best if we didn’t see each other anymore. He died about a year later. Here I was 26, and a widower twice. I stopped dating and start seeing a shrink. He helped me a great deal. In the fall of 1990, I met a guy at Tiffany. We began dating and it was nice. We approached 1 year, and he freaked out. He’d never dated someone that long before. We broke up. He called a week later asking if we could talk. He asked if I’d take him back. I said sure. After 2 more years we decided to move in together. When we were approaching our 10th anniversary, my folks approached us to offer to take us on a cruise to celebrate. The 4 of us had a wonderful time. Rich accepted a new career 800 miles away. I knew it would be best for us, but I didn’t want to move. Our folks were nervous. But we moved. I felt bad. When my mom and dad visited us in our new home, they said we made the right decision. After a few years, both my folks and his passed away. It’s been hard. I was also diagnosed with cancer. It’s been a tough road the last few years, but after 33 years, I can’t imagine who else I could do it with.
Hey John I read your story, just wanted you to know I noticed it and what a journey you have been on. Must have been tough what you went through as I’m a little lost in my journey and couldn’t imagine having to deal with most things you have. Broke me reading when you said your parents told you to leave. What a awesome tough person you are. Hope you get well soon and be strong as you are.
it was a mind fart when I was typing. Although, my first b/f and the guy I dated with AIDS did have the same last name. My mom really freaked about that. “THEY AREN’T RELATED ARE THEY?”. They were not, just a weird coincidence.
This why it is important that we Gay men have our own spaces to talk about affairs that affect us and connect with other Gay men; in the same way that straight men and women have their own spaces, and straight men and women must respect Gay spaces and respect our differences 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Hi Daniel. Love your video’s....and love you! You can really tell that you are a great person, and I love that about you! I have been watching your vids for awhile now and was quite surprised when you mentioned in this vid that you were from Warsaw, Indiana. I am from Fort Wayne, Indiana, not far from where you grew up. I find that so cool! Still live in the Fort, and actually still love it here. It’s home for me. So just wanted to let you know, and also tell you how much I admire you, and that I also find you so dreamy!!! LOL. Keep up the good work, and never change your attitude.....as you are just GREAT!!!
We love you Daniel 💜💜💜💜💜💜 You deserve to be happy and loved for who you really are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I wish you well and that you always can be happy and remain being the amazing human being that you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I will always support you Daniel ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I NOTICE ALL THESE GUYS THAT ON HERE DO NOT RESPOND SO THERE STILL UNDER GAY CLICK. WE NEEED TO MOVE VIBRATION UP AND CONECT. NOT ONE WAY ABOUT COMIN OUT YOU ARE WORTH MORE THEN BEING GAY. YOUR ONLY GAY IF YOUR PART OF LABELLING SYSTEM. YOU ARE MAN OF DIFFERNT EXOERIENCE TO FIND LOVE TO GIVE GOD YOU ARE THE EXPERIENCE. GAY IS NOT WHO WE ARE. ITS ONLY EXOERIENCE BUT CANT USE SCENE GIVEN TO YOU. ITS ALL SAME COLLECTIVE THAT BE MISTAKEN AS CABOL. BE ARGENT NOT SCENE BUT YOUR SELF. AND OTHERS TO YOU
I have told my mom that i was gay but i guess she doesnt believe me, and acts like i never told her. But she says if i really am then shes okay with it, she just thinks its too early for me to know cuz im only 16, but what she doesnt know is that when i was like 7 or 8, somewhere in thos years i was having relations with a guy( yes i know it was way early but thats how ik already) and i dont dare tell my dad because im pretty sure he would reject me, but hes not a good father to any of his kids anyway so ig it wouldnt really matter. It just scares me to tell anyone cuz i hate getting judged, and its just hard so im keeping it on the down low and ig waiting till after highschool so come out to my family and friends, but still not my dad cuz i dont wanna talk to him cuz hes is just horrible and i dont want to get into that story... Anyway thats my situation
Hey, don't worry about it. A lot of kids start sexually experimenting around age 10. It's a well-documented thing in psychology. Don't feel guilty or weird over it.
I had a bully in grade school that was relentless. He would taunt me everyday beating me up because he saw I was different from him. To make a long story short, my bully is now living with his husband down in Florida.
Hello again, Daniel. This was excellent! My story of coming out? Don't have one. After being in the closet for the first 21 years of my life, I came to the realization that my sexuality wasn't anyone's business but those I decided to share it with. I decided just to live. I never discussed it with my parents, I figured if they wanted to know, they'd ask. They never did. Some friends asked, I told them. Most said it was fine, those that we're "shocked"? Well, we parted ways and the truth is I never missed them. In day to day business, no one ever asked, just as no one ever asked what my religion was. It wasn't relevant. So I never flaunted it and it was never a problem. I guess my approach from the time that I admitted to myself that I was gay, was that's my business and I don't have to share that part of myself with anyone that I don't care to. Good video topic, Dan. Have a great week! 💝
I agree with this - I do not care if you are gay, straight, black, white, Jew, Gentile, whatever it is YOUR journey, meaning none of these "statuses" have anything to do with your relationship with anyone else. My religion has zero to do with my work, my religion does not make me work better or worse. Being gay is the same thing, unless I and the other guy are having sex, what does gay have anything to do with this relationship. It is not about "hiding" anything, it is about the big question: What difference does it make to you what I am or NOT? I can be a real nice gay guy or a real POS gay guy - gay has nothing to do with it, either I respect others and am a nice individual or I am disrespectful to other's journeys and a POS. We must stop this - accept me for who I am nonsense. Let's get over it, not everyone is going to like you regardless of some status, you must grow up and live your life as best you can, RESPECTFUL to your journey and respect other's journeys. This does not mean to be someone's door mat - just to be clear. For this example: To shout, I am here, queer, get used to it, puts others on notice to get ready for battle. There is NO BATTLE FOLKS, it is you warring against you.
Yeah that’s a good way to live life. But I feel bad for people who are Christian and everyone around them is telling them that being is a sin and they are going to hell.
Honestly, I just closed my ears to it. I worked in a warehouse and the amount of "fag" talk was amazing! Never met so many guys that were obviously frightened to death of their own sexuality!
There is nothing to feel bad about other people. That is their journey and does not have to be your journey. Has it ever occurred to people that some people LOVE DRAMA in their life and enjoy being victims? I know several people that if they did not go to the doctor constantly, it would seem there would be no purpose in their life. It so appears "their sickness gives them a reason to get up in the morning." We must all learn to live our own journey, meaning to oneself be true. Stop making excuses by saying "I was born gay" or who would chose to be gay? Being gay is a great CHOICE FOR ME, I do not need an excuse to prefer to be with men. My preference is right for me and does NOT need to be right for you. And both are totally OK. I really SENSE we make more out things than are really necessary.
Why is it that people do not discuss how much money they have in their bank accounts, but have no issue discussing what they do or not do in their bedrooms? I am sorry to give you the bad news, but have you ever noticed some people discriminate against the rich and some people discriminate against the poor, it is the same thing with gays, blacks, Jews, Italians, Irish, etc. We just must "get over it" that someone is not going to accept two guys screwing each other. I consider being gay a choice, A GREAT choice, I do not need to explain it or justify MY choice. When we start saying, I was born this way, I am making a piss poor excuse for MY decisions IN MY LIFE. There is nothing wrong for PREFERRING someone of your own gender to screw. Do not justify. For those that say it is unnatural, this is TRUE for them. I must respect their beliefs. They are entitled to those beliefs. This does not give license to them to hurt me physically. If they do not want to hire me or serve me in a restaurant, I am totally ok with this, BECAUSE in turn, this gives me the right not to hire their pitiful and sorry asses. Do you see? This philosophy I am here queer, get used to it - is going to have one end result. Law has a way of boomeranging with unintended consequences.
Well I came out last year when I was 17 and I was away at college and used messenger to tell them, my mum was like i love you and then asked when my driving lesson is and my dad was like I already knew (i think he assumed rather than knew). But now I kind of regret not telling them face to face as it doesnt feel as special. 😧
My coming out process was long, when I first admitted I was gay, I was 25 (3 years ago). I always knew I had a thing about guys, but it was not okay to being gay when I was younger, not for my family, not for my friends, not at school nor in society. When I was in high school, not only did people make fun of gay people but a teacher got kicked out for being gay. How horrible, as he was scammed of doing gay propaganda. (while our elderly math teacher was really doing pedophile things). So with that mind-set, I remained closeted. Not many people were coming out, even in my college years, until one of my very good friends helped me realized the reason why I always kept myself pro-occupied was to bury the fact that I was gay. I finally came out, not to my friend but to myself. And from then, I slowly came out to my friends. Some of them reacted negatively, thus revealing they were not my real friends, some of the girls admitted they had a crush on me and some of the others became my bestest friends, they were so supportive until this day I love them. Coming out, helped me being more myself, attracting more positiveness and feeling like this heavy burden got lifted. 2 years after, I finally got the courage to come out to my family, knowing things were getting more accepted. They really took it the wrong way, my mom cried for hours, my dad first laughed saying it was a phase but later, until this day threatening me. They now ignore the fact and try to consider me as straight (as that is normal for them). They asked me to not tell anyone. It's an ever struggle at home. About 6 months ago at Canada pride, I got my first kiss (Age 27). It was filmed and put on my channel. My parents gay bashed me when I got home. My 28th bday was a disaster also because more and more I stay single (from women) more they bash me. That is my story.
I could definitely relate to you story. I was raised in a small town and attended church all my life. Church 2 times on Sunday again on Wednesday night. Church college etc. Family was really well known in town. I never told my parents but I think they suspected. I more or less outed myself when I took a guy home with me for Thanksgiving one year. Fortunately my siblings were okay with me. Still struggling with many aspects of being gay but I am a work in progress. Btw Daniel, its boxer briefs for me.
WHAT A SMALL WORLD! I am a 65 year old gay man and BOTH of my parents were Free Will Baptist ministers.....in the OZARKS! And since my father was heavy into physical punishment I didn't dare to come out. Mostly what I remember about those years is being tense....ALL THE TIME! Glad to meet another survivor.
I remember being subliminally terror stricken in High School. One day, can't recall what day, when I was in college I suddenly realized I'd gone whole day without feeling terror. Wow! My dad was into whipping the shit out of me too. I've toyed with the idea of pouring piss on his grave but never got around to doing it.
Many of us coming out suffer from some degree of PTSD. And healing from that can take years. Looks like you are doing great. I came out at 38, after being married, with 3 children. I had repressed my sexuality amazingly well, up to that point. So coming out was as shocking for me, as it was for everyone else. One of my low points was having my 78 year old mother (who I had been close to all of my life), take my deceased fathers framed picture, hurl it across the room, and shout that she should have cut "it" off, rather than having me. If it had not been for my three young children, I would have had no reason to keep going. But 28 years later, I'm now married to my husband (we have been together for 22 years), the kids are happy and well adjusted and grown up (which weirds me out a little!) And the siblings that I have, that still caring the evangelical, you are going to hell, mentality, are no longer a part of my life. It took a long time to let go of them and the "we can still be a family dream", but I finally did. And have embraced the family and friends I do have. For some, coming out can be a long road of discovery and healing and forgiveness. And while I want every one of my siblings to have a good life, I just cannot be involved in toxic relationships anymore! Hell, at 63, I don't have time!! So, there you go, kid. Thanks for doing a coming out video. I imagine it was harder than you expected.
Great that you're back😇 I came out to my family 14 months ago and received support from all of them, although my father had a hard time at first. Last summer was great since I was fully out and felt stronger than ever, but college started and I went back to feeling disoriented. I feel like I have a huge struggle with internalized homophobia: I still havent had any experiences with men of any kind, feel only attracted to straight guys and I'm afraid to talk to gay guys (i still feel weird inside when I see feminine men). It is very frustrating, especially when I have worked so hard to build a healthy environment around me and still I'm very messed up... Any clues?
Pepe Vinkin You are not messed up. I experienced similar at your age. I found gay friendly counseling (sex therapist) and was able to sort and work through those issues. I am way better with accepting and being proud of who I am as a person first. I am really glad to have worked through my perception of thinking my gadar could discern accurately gay from straight. I learned that could actually be a safety issue if I approached or interacted with someone assuming I could differentiate. I am attracted to masculine guys still, but I am not bothered at all by the presence of feminine mannerisms in guys. I had to work through all the negative messages and stereotypes that had collected in my brain from all the different negative sources that ridiculed and oppressed gay people and caused me to sort of self hate and criticize affeminate gay guys. I wish you well and peace and I hope you can also work through your issues as well.
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Needed to comment about this video............. 1. Parents always knows........... And 2. Love is out Religions, Society, fatherhood and motherhood. As 'no is no' - love is love. All people who loves you, they love because of you. Not because you're rich or poor & straight or gay. 🎉
Absolutely loved this video!!! I currently live in Indiana now and am anxious to move away for similar reasons. Congrats to you on living your life the way you see fit!!
I have two grandchildren, a boy and a girl, both gay, and I can't imagine not loving and supporting them. My daughter, their mother, feels the same way, I just don't understand how anyone throws away their children because of how they're born. It's so sad to me that gay people suffer and stress with the thought of telling their parents something they have no control over. Being gay isn't a choice, and calling it, coming out, makes it seem like a dirty little secret. It's just a truth about how they were born, and kids should tell their parents as soon as they can verbalize it.
Hey Daniel, first off glad you're back on TH-cam! I'm into photography and videography trying to make it my life career! Would love to work with you sometime in the near future! My coming out story, was pretty much the same reaction to your parents or your dad's side, except my parents are still together, and both vary religious, and don't agree with my lifestyle choices, but still love me and will continue to support and care for me. I just came out to them about 5 months ago, but have been slowly coming out to friends the last three years. Have always felt this way my whole life, I do hold my Christianity close to my heart and have been struggling with it since coming out to them. But with this new year, going to continue working on my faith and accept who i am at the same time, knowing the man up stairs will always love and forgive me for my choices. I know people say you can't have religion and be gay at the same time, but i truly don't believe that. Anyway hope you read this, and enjoy this new year man and your weekend! :)
Casey Eley You can be a gay Christian. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. We are saved when we accept Jesus as God. We are saved by our faith alone. Nothing we do can saves us. Good deeds are good because they are a concrete manifestastion of our faith, but good deeds/lifestyle choices are not what save us. It is our faith. Hang in there, buddy. Take your faith seriously and enjoy life. Be the man your faith in Christoanity tells you to be.
Casey Eley: It's important to remember that being gay is NOT a lifestyle choice. Belonging to a political party, deciding to live in San Diego or Boston, or becoming a vegetarian IS a lifestyle choice. Being gay is how you were created and if you believe God created everyone, he certainly doesn't make mistakes, eh? It really makes me cringe when I hear people say 'lifestyle choice'. I'm a redhead. Certainly didn't choose to be. Nor did I choose to be gay. Had my first experience with a guy when I was in the first grade - - basically exploring each other; as kids, I'm told, will do. However it was really exciting. A couple of years later when a girl wanted to show me her parts, etc. I wan't the least bit interested. If it were her brother I surely would have been.
I'm sorry to hear that your coming out experience with your parents didn't go well Daniel. Like you I grew up in the church, my parents were the custodians for our congregation for many years and my mother was even the Superintendent of the Sunday School, so very religious. We're part of the United Church of Canada, so a mainstream denomination, but a much more liberal doctrine than you experienced. My parents, though disappointed that there would be no more grandchildren, reacted well to my coming out and accepted my husband as they would have any son, or daughter in law. They became my strongest supporters, always in the background, and even attended our wedding.
I’ve never related to anyone more. My stepdads a pastor, he didn’t take it well when I came out, he prayed for me to change, my mom didn’t agree with me, they wouldn’t let me out anymore, they started neglecting me, questioning everything I do, but the never hated me. They still cared for me anyway. I’m only 17, I came out last year (I actually was outed). But it’s so great to hear a story that’s super close to mine. I’m jst hoping my future turns out as good as yours did..
I know one shouldn't predict another's future; I mean, who really knows. But I can say life is a lot different when you become an adult. My high school years were a horror. Iv've never gone to a reunion. Never want to see those folks again. I do hope when you're out on your own you can take a deep breath, realize they can't get to you anymore, and enjoy life. I don't recall the exact date, but when I was about 19 or 20 I suddenly realized I had passed a whole day without being tense, having no terror, and not on guard. What a feeling!!
Thank you for such an honest video! It makes me really sad that in this day and age people still have to go through what you did, and face such hardship. I've been very lucky, having grown up in Amsterdam in the Netherlands which is a really accepting place and you're more likely to get bullied for being homophobic than being gay. I never once faced any sort of homophobic comment or experience and I was naively not even aware of homophobia until I started using the internet. As far as coming out, i never really did. I just started hooking up with and dating guys when i was about 15 with no real questions asked. When i was 16 i brought home my first boyfriend to meet my parents and they treated him just the same as they would have if he were a girl. The word "gay" never came up and i didnt need to explain myself, it was all just very normal. I'm in my last year of school now and am still with the same guy, and he's been fully accepted into the family. I just hope that in other countries things can reach the same level. We need to teach our kids from a young age that love is love and labels are not for people. In netherlands we have had same sex marriage since 1998 and something like 98% of people support lgbt rights according to polls. I really hope that this can soon be the case everywhere and that nobody has to go through what you did
Damn! Your use of English is so impressive. I was only in the Netherlands once for a week, Maastricht, and only learned to say 'Thank You' which , as I recall, sounded something like 'donkey vel'? See, I've forgotten it already. As an American I was so impressed with all the bicycles - - even old ladies - - riding everywhere. I was staying at a small place and had such a crush on the young guy who ran the place.
I never really came out of the closet easily and I never really hid who I was for the most part. I too was brought up in church my whole life and always heard that it was a sin to be gay. I was bullied in school even though they never really knew if I was gay or not. I was always shy and quiet until I joined the Army. I was out to those who were totally cool and didn't care, and those people were the best. My whole family knew and I never really had to come out to the family except for my mom. My parents had divorced when I was a year old and I've always lived with my mother until I moved out on my own. I had reconnected with my father many years later when I was in my late 20's and I had told him in a conversation and he seemed to take it well. My mom knew but she kept trying to deny it I'm sure, but she would find things like a porn DVD I had, or a disk that had pictures on it including dick pics of other guy's. She obviously didn't like it and told me to get rid of it because she did not want that in her house that it was not of God. Her and my current step dad even tried to pray over me and pray the gay away, obviously it didn't work. I always tried to brush it under the rug if she would bring things up until a few years ago when my ex basically drug me out of the closet that I was basically hiding in from my mother and he forced me to tell her when she had asked if he and I were dating. My ex had come out when he was younger and had a better experience than I did even though he had been struggling with it himself until he came out, so it was easy for him. But I didn't want to really even approach the subject because mom would constantly bring up religion and I just did not want to hear that mess. So I came out and she threw a fit but it was mainly because I was lying to her all that time, she brought up how it's against God and all that. Well she eventually cooled down and has excepted it more now and it's shocking especially because I have a friend who is a drag queen and my mom just loves that friend even though they've never met in person. My mom added him to Facebook and they talk all the time, my mother also loves some of the outfits he wears in his shows. That all just blows my mind, my mind was blown year before last on Thanksgiving when my ex and I were still together, we had gone to Hanahan, SC where my sister and her family lives and my mom and step dad were there for Thanksgiving also. Well my ex and I had planned to go and even got a hotel because for one thing I wasn't sure how my sister and her husband were going to deal with my ex and I sleeping together in front of her kids, not that we would obviously be doing anything other than just laying together, but I just wasn't sure. I also knew that my mom and step dad were staying there also because they came up from Florida, and I knew that mom had told my sister and I years ago that if we were to become gay that she would still love us no matter what, but our lovers were not allowed to step foot in her house. Well knowning all that my ex and I got a hotel room like I said, well before we had left, mom called me and asked what plans my ex and I had for sleeping arrangements and that she was going to make up the sleeper sofa for us, and that right there put me in shock because I had remembered the things that she had said years ago, so I just was in total shock and I told her that my ex and I booked a hotel room. So my ex and I arrived at my sister's house and everything went great until mom put me in shock again when she took selfies with my ex and even included him in the family photo we took. I just couldn't get over her doing that, I was happy that she included him in the family because of us being gay. So like I said, my mother is coming along but not quite ready to March in any pflag parade yet. The rest of the family on my mother's side of the family has been supportive of the fact that I was gay even my Grandfather jokes around about it and one of my Uncles does too. My uncle who jokes about it has had gay friends and is totally cool about it. My aunt is the same way and says that she has gay friends too and has been supportive. My father's side hasn't really said much about it even though they know because we're all on Facebook except for my father, because he is not technologically savvy. I don't know my grandparents on his side because his father passed away years ago before we reconnected and the mother only speaks to certain people apparently. Now the Army has been pretty much the same as civilian life, you have people who are cool with it and those who are not. I have been in the Army National Guard for going on 15 years, so I was in during Don't Ask Don't Tell. Pretty much everyone knew that I was gay or assumed even though I only told those who I was close to. I was deployed to Iraq for the second time when the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy was dropped. I was a nervous wreck because I had always heard the conversations that the straight guys had against the gay's, these are the usual guy's who think every gay guy wants them. But after it was dropped life went on and all was good.
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I understand your story -mine was really negative but I found friends were positive to help me be a more prouder gay man-there are great people who support us all.
Ok since you asked in your video here is my experience. My first X, who was 13 years older than me, told my parents while we were together; because he thought it would make things less stressful for me. Turns out my parents said they had always known and did not care. Only wish my parents had told me this sooner, like when they first suspected, because it would have made my life growing up easier. I would not have hated myself so much and would have been a lot less stressful. Still have lasting effects from how I grew up hating myself to this day.
I don't know whether this will help, but here goes: About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Just believe in yourself, talk to your friends, go to your local LGBT+ organization and ask to talk to someone. Life does get better. I am 75 and life does get better.
Its gonna be ok my mum also doesn't accept but what i learnt is that they are people out there who will and if your family doesn't its ok just be patient give them time but just know everything is gonna be ok there still people who are homophobic don't beat yourself up over it.
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You! So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others. Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians. The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate! In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament. David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses! If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican! Best Wishes and God Bless!
Just came across your video (Troy). Came out at age 38 married father of 3 from the Independent Baptist Church background. (Veggie Tales was too liberal for us) Worked in the church my entire life. Needless to say it was a horrific experience. Lost my church friends, lots of family. We live in Indiana now south of Indianapolis. Thanks for sharing your story!!
Hey man, glad you had the guts to do what you did. And that is the best side of your story that you don't credit yourself in having the guts to do what you did. I have never come out...thought that being married would shake off the urges....3 kids later I realize I gotta live the life I have unless I want to hurt others and I just cant do that. So my hat is off to you for being the man I never could be.
That's something I did too. I had a great relationship with her, we were good friends as well, and were soulmates. She died and my kids are grown so I'm -- at last -- free to be my real sexual self .HOWEVER, I'm not bisexual. I never look at another woman but - -wow - - I sure look at guys.And, when I'm lucky, I score.
Good that your Mom was fine with it though it's awful to hear on how your Dad's side of the family treated you just because you were gay which is not fair. Not matter how much they believe in their religion, it's no excuse to be homophobic. Least they're ok with you now and I'm glad that you're ok. Everyone should be accepted and give each other kindness and love no matter who they are. My Coming Out experience went smoothly with my friends and family accepting me and some of them putting up clues here and there. Not everyone's coming out experience is like this I know but least it's something for me to be thankful for and I can only hope that everyone will be accepted coming out too.
One day, I just brought my boyfriend home. Acted like a normal couple. Bare in mind my parents did not know I was gay and they actually never made mention of anything. I put it as my status on facebook and my aunt called squealling. She loved it. My grandma was concerned people would hurt me (bless her heart I love her) but ultimately anything that made me happy was worth it. As for my dad and mom they later made smaller mentions of how they did not care about it and treated it as completely normal which is why they never reacted. My friends knew and I am the main glew to our close circle of 12. Overall I was very very lucky and fortunate.
This is how I recommend to anyone who askes. "Coming out" , in my opinion is admitting something is wrong with you. The day my brother and sister feel the need to explain their sexuality to my parents I may feel like doing the same. Just bring your boyfriend to the next family occasion and introduce his as your partner. Don't go getting totally passionate straight or gay. There is nothing wrong with you and if anyone has an issue it's their issue not yours.
HI there. Thank you for telling your story. I would like to point out that your paster father and his family who believe you are going to hell, are not really okay with you and the attitude they have is still abuse. I get that they are not mean on the surface anymore, but you do have a right to expect love and support rather than neutrality covering up the attitude that you are evil. I hope you are able to understand the difference and are able to be with people from whom you can expect more. Best wishes to a brave person who was strong to survive what was a truly hellish family experience. I'm glad you talked about it to us all.
I’m proud of you and I’m happy but not happy that we had similar stories. I started dying though when you said “we just pretended that I didn’t come out” lol My mom reacted the same way. Proud of you bro and much love.
Hi I am a freshmen in high school and I afraid of what my mom will do when she finds out. I have told few people that I am gay, but my family is extremely religious will besides my cousin who knows about me. But I am afraid that they will treat me as if I was a criminal just because of my sexuality, but your vid helped me a little bit of all the fear I have.
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Thank you for reaching out to help others. I wished there was someone like you when I grew up. Even though I'm older now, still wrestle with religion and because of that I didn't come out for many years.
Thanks for sharing @danielxmiller! I also came out at 16 and looking back, I might have waited a couple of years, get away from high school and all that stress. But, I was also outed by my best friend, so I understand the challenges -- mine were a bit different than yours but also very similar Here's why I think we're maybe only 1 or 2 generations away from parents no longer having a problem with their kids being gay. According to an MTV study, 91% of millennials say their generation believes in equality more than older generations. I'm so optimistic that as they become parents and their kids become teenagers/20-somethings, they will all just embrace sexual diversity, and lgbt+ kids coming out will have a much easier time being accepted.
I stumbled again on this and it was so heart-warming I watched it again and was as moved as if I were seeing it anew. I made many comments which I hope were helpful to others.
You're nicer than I would have been. I would have told your dad that his apology doesn't mean shit until he can figure out a way to give me my horrible last two years of high school back. I'm not a very forgiving person.
I actually totally understand that, I don't understand how someone can just throw a veil onto horrible things that were done/said (I don't know if that expression exists in english 😅), parents love their children if they accept them the way they are and if they don't... well you know my answer. (It may sound rude, but it's what I think).
Daniel, you're getting braver and braver... I've followed you for a long time, and I'm so proud of your progress both in your ability to mature in your self-worth and professionally. You're just great to share your story. I'm 71 years old and I'm not out... mostly because my sister (my parents are passed) is very religious (Baptist) and I am religious too (Methodist) but my religion doesn't condemn me, but I fear my sister will. I doubt if I'll ever come out as I have a few gay friends but mostly straight friends and never the twain shall meet. Oh, to make matters worse I became HIV positive last year. I'm still very sexually active mostly with much younger guys, and I don't think I will ever find someone who wants to be with me as a partner. I'm not unhappy with my life... it is what it is. I'm happy and have had a prosperous and wonderful life with many close friends, but my sexuality will probably always be a secret I'll take to my grave. I guess it's my generation, but it is what it is. Keep up the good work and make more vlogs... they are great!!. Sonny
I'm so sorry, Last Dance, but I don't recall asking you to care. Sheesh, you must be having a bad hair day or something. I hope things get better for you.
I realized when I was about 7-8 years old that I was gay....but it was 1968/1969. At that time you couldn't tell anyone because you would be disowned and shunned by society. Strangely at that age I was especially aroused by very masculine hairy chested muscular males. At the sametime I was battling a serious social anxiety avoidance disorder......which robbed me of a life. Fifty years is a hell of a long time to deal with such a disorder....and to hide in the closet. Talk about stressful for a small child. Over the last 30 years (from official diagnosis) I didn't receive even one chemical, biological, neurological, DNA or chromosomal test! Not even one MRI scan. Quality health care right?
My parents are pastors, I actually came out to them when I was 11, but they didnt take it seriously, they thought it was a phase, my father talked to me saying that god make me a man to be with a woman, and that I didnt have any experience in bed with someone so he told me that I didnt know what I wanted. My mother by the other way was more worry and she use to talk to me once a month alone in the car about how was my relationship with god and how I felt about my sexuality. Both didnt accept me as gay, but both preferret to kind of ignore it. The last month my father found out that I have a boyfriend and everything became chaos in my house, they are trying to change my sexuality with family therapy, praying, reading book about what christians think about it, they exposed "my case" in the church publicly, and I'm here just wating to finish college to get a job and get out of my house. What can I say, at least my boyfriend stills support me and he cant see me, but we talk through SMS's 'cause my mother check out my messenger. The last thing they told me alone was that they wanted to make me hormonal analysis to see if they can treat me with hormones.
Does anyone know if this guy can go to a lawyer or someone with authority that can keep him out of his nightmare? SO many are ignorant that it's the way you are; not something you choose. I'm horrified to think he'll be forced to take some kind of hormone. That's really fucked up.THATLUNA: Hang in there guy. How old are you?
I so glad you were able to get out and begin living a normal life. My ciming out was made easy by my ex-wife telling everyone that I had confessed to her. y relationship with my family was amazingly peaceful and we had frequenct contact. I talked to my sisters often during the week and talked to my mom every morning. My mother did not say anything about my predicament for 5 years, then she pretty much gave me the "you're going to hell" pronouncement, then she died 3 days later. I'm still bewildered.
Hey Daniel 👋🏽👋🏽 your story really hit me. I was grateful that my parents were okay with me being gay. They love me no matter what and I’m very fortunate of the outcome. I know it’s always challenging to accept who you are and who you love especially in a society that views homosexuality as a sin. I love your videos and channel! ❤️
Hey Daniel. I have a story that relates to me being gay but I don't know if you have any advice. I'm 16 years old and openly gay. My parents are accepting and I go to a very tolerant high school. I have only a few friends and I've never even kissed a guy (both of those things are works in progress). I'm becoming worried about my future. Whenever I see gay guys including you I always notice how attractive and beautiful they are and they make me feel ugly by comparison. I'm not that fit yet although I am improving. My face has acne, I always have dark circles under my eyes and I measured my face recently and found out I have a triangular face. I'm worried that when I join the gay scene in a few years I won't be able to compare to the other guys and I'll be left alone. Do you have any advice?
I'm sorry you have to hear this from me but you dont need to worry, acne will fade, muscles aren't everything and the way your head is shaped doesn't make you undateable, when your old enough and get into the scene I'm sure guys will come to you, I felt the same way about myself and I was met with so many guys way out of my league who wanted to get with me when i first got into the gay scene, the same will happen to you, just give it time and know that you are still blooming into a mature man so you dont need to put to much pressure on yourself for a boy, it will happen when it happens and it will be great, have a wonderful day and i hope this helped you.
Mason, We are constantly bombarded by standards of beauty that are unattainable. Remember that we’re our own worst critic and that you will be somebody’s everything and there’s at least one other kid in your circle that thinks you’re the cat’s meow. Trust me not everyone in the community is a 10 and most aren’t looking for a 10 and if they are, pass. Don’t believe the lie that our worth is defined by our looks. We’re so much more than a 6 pack. Slow down... all will come into place when it’s supposed to. I promise. B
Keep working out at the gym! (I did.) You will be surprised at how many things that will fix! I cannot give medical advice, but I have been helped by the following: washing my face with gentle soap, dabbing (at separate times) with crushed raw garlic, or apple cider vinegar, or triple antibiotic ointment. Good luck!
I came out to my parents when I was 14. They said OK but you're a bit young to put a label on yourself. When I turned 18 they both sat me down and asked if I was still gay. I told them I was and they said that they still loved me and that I should bring my partners home. Mum was always keen that no-one should be alone on holidays especially Christmas so she encouraged me to bring any of my gay friends who had been disowned by their families home. She always put on a huge buffet and there were always a lot of my friends around for the meal.
If your family rejected you, remember that there are others including myself who care about you, do not despair reach out to us if you need to vent/kvetch etc. You are a brave young man be yourself and move forward, those that shunned you will regret having done so, so be happy ! !
I really don't think pastors should have anything to say about sexual life style. Even though they say that gay/lesbian/transgender, etc. people are going to hell. And that it is a sin. But I have known pastors/preachers of Church of Christ, Baptist, Latter Day Saints, etc. faith, who have had affairs on their wives while married and got caught. Now wait, isn't this a sin as well? I don't see how they can say we are sinners and going to hell, when they can cheat and whore their self's out, while they are suppose to be in a loving, honest, and caring relationship. But I guess they are a exception to the rule. They can sin and its going to be ok, and nothing will happen to them for it. But the rest of us are going to hell no matter what.
I came out when I was 17. I actually first told my older sister, and told her not to breath a word of it to anybody, which she promptly did to everybody by the end of the very next day...so it made my work much easier having to deal with the reactions alone instead of the instigation, and the reactions...which is an entirely different package deal altogether. I come from pastors, and ministers within the UPCI. Every male within my family has, or had a church...except for little ol' me. I told my dad, once, that I felt called to be a minister...and he so wisely told me that I really didn't. I'm sure he was testing my resolve, but I took it as an out...thank the gods!
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support, or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I’m like a freaking Jack-in-the-Box. Once I popped out of the box there’s no way in hell you can get me back inside the box. Try all you want. I’m not going back. Besides I blew up the door when I came out.
I came out when I was 11! This was 1975 I am the third child of 8 in a very strict Southern Baptist home. Three years I was beat by my Father everyday Mom blamed herself for me being gay till I told her if your the blame then why are not all your kids Gay?. My older brother told everyone and thought it gave him free reign to rape me and sell me to his friends for sex. I was very passive and would do as I was told in fear of being beaten up by my older brother. Three years of pure hell landed a Social Worker at our home cause my older brother thought he was being abused. I was taken out back with her and I spilled my guts and I was removed from the house at 14 yrs. Old and sent to a Catholic Boy's Home, I thought I died and went to heaven. They were truly good to me and sent me to A performing Arts School in Washington D.C. I was pretty much disowned cause my family was "religious" both parents and 3 brothers have passed only 2 sister's talk to me. The scars have healed themselves yet the heart pain lingers. I went through 3 very brutal relationships till I met the right guy and after 8 incredible years he passed away at our home from pancreatic cancer in 2014. Life is a journey that is for sure! Thanks for listening
I came out when I was 11 as bisexual, back then I was naive and I thought that my mother would love me unconditionally but unfortunately that wasn't the case. A week later she tells me to get in the car that we are going to the airport. I didn't question it so we went and there was an army detail that opened my door and took me arm in hand I was freaking out because I didn't know what was happening. I go to look at my mom and she had the most stern look on her face and said that I was going to get fixed and I'll come back when I'm perfect. From Miami international airport I was sent to Puerto Rico to go to a military school for 9 months. The 9 months i was there I had to grow up fast. My mom never once called me when I was there. Not for my birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas, new years, or Easter. The only reason why I was taken out of the military school was because my grandma (my mom's mom) stopped talking to my mother until i had returned. My innocent 11 year old self grew up fast I was robbed of my childhood I spent ages 12-15 in a deep depression my mom's side of the family disowned me. My mom kicked me out countless of times until I was 16 and I met my best friend she happens to be a lesbian and she covers for me as my beard so to say. From the constant dehumanizing I received from my mom on the daily stopped. Slowly she started go be nicer and more pleasant. I lie to her now about who I am. But to everyone else I'm open about who I am. I'm 18 now about to graduate from High school and I'm saving to move out. My coming out story isn't the happiest. But I have to say if I didn't go to military school and I had to deal with my mom's constant dehumanizing and bullying I would've killed my self long ago. I'm thankful that my dad does accept me. And his support has been giving me hope for the future. Because I do love my mom regardless of what emotional, mental or physical pain she's caused me. It's always had to recall this but at least it shows that others who have a bad experience coming out as cliche as it sounds it will get better and there is always hope. Thanks Daniel for sharing your coming out story. It reassures me that everything will turn out okay. With love Andrew
Devon Murphy they were divorced and my mom had full custody of me.
Make this a book
Andrew arenas - please know that your mother had the issue, she had the defect NOT you, shame on her for her behavior, she does not have the right just because she is your mother to judge you, her judgement will come one day and I would guess it won't be a good one,,,,,,
Im soo sorry for your bad past😢that's such a sad thing to hear your own parents/family disown you like that that's ashame. (Edit: 2020) I was scared for a while to come out but then finally came out (2 years ago) and everyone I know supported me, so don't be afraid cuz if your friends and family truly love you they'll support you. ❤
omg this actually brought tears to my eyes, and I'm a grown man damned :). And then being able to love her regardless, wow. It takes a strong and beautiful soul to do that. To those in similar situations please know there are always always people that will love you unconditionally and whatever situation you're in now, it will get better.
Family is overrated. I'm over mine. I found love with others who are kind and need love too.
Families are just dandy, I guess.
I had such a lovely childhood. Just lovely.
@@tomdeininger7379 , I never had parents as they died when I was very young and I grew up in foster care. I do have a sister but we grew up apart.
Friends are the family you get to choose
If you desire additional logical support, or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
My moms thought immediately was "OH MY GOD, IM NEVER GOING TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN". And my dad said "cool"
Dillon Fitzgerald Omg same. My mom was upset about not having grandchildren. And my dad said “ok” and moved on. Lol 😂
Could say you can still adopt,but they most likely shot that down with it haveing to be by your DNA. Witch you could do.
It's sad when mothers think so selfishly when presented with important information about their children.
But hopefully they groww past it.
Same
You can always adopt
"God gives us our relatives, thank God we can choose our friends."
- Ethel Watts Mumford
I was told " That's how you are?? " The door is over there, pack up and get out""! So I left.
Mark Lingerfelt that’s so fucked up !!
Dear God
By the word "that" of the phrase you say they asked you, they very probably referred to something that both they and you called "to be gay". The problem is...
...that people don't know the real meaning of "gay", so one has to explain what it really is about.
If I don't like bad things and there's something I BELIEVE to be bad, I won't like nor accept it.
So sorry!
@My Own Private Idaho Yes. But they (the parents) wouldn't react that way if they understood what being gay is. It is ignorance what needs to be "attacked" the most, because it's the mother of this and many other kinds of injustice.
Blood doesn’t define family, love does.
God loves all his children, including the amazing baby gays he loves all.
I too am a pastors child. Dad still doesn’t talk to me. The worst was the “alter of prayer” the church tried to do on me when my dad took it to the church and they tried to pray the gay away. Humiliating to say the least.
A horror!
Pastor’s grandson here. My family still hasn’t given up and though they say they love me and hate the sin, they still treat me differently and exclude me from many family things. I feel they only see me to pray for me and just to make sure I haven’t gone to “hell” yet. As if I’m some sort of charity they must perform.
It's important to you to put that behind you, be the person you want to be ! I accept you for who you are, be strong and enjoy your life !
I had it easy I have a step mom who used to be a lesbian but now she is married to my dad and she was so much help on getting my dad to understand what it's like and his side of the family is tough but you... you are strong I don't think I would be able to tell my parents that if they went to church or if they would make me go to a conversion camp. Like I said you had I really tough. And by the way I'm 14 and I realized I was gay at the age of 10.
What did they do ?
This Christian loves you all unconditionally. No judgemental attitude here. You are valued .you are precious. Stay strong. 💝
i just came out as bisexual to my parents and now my mother won’t talk to me. i am so upset and this is the most heart broken i’ve ever felt
She'll come around. It's like a loss for a parent. They have to ruminate over the fact you're not following the path they imagined you to take. Kinda selfish really.
I hope if they have not gotten better between you and your mother they will soon
Its sad they cant see the beauty in there child and let somemthing like this get in the way. Im thinking about coming out but its scary
Dan Seshat hello! an update on this; my parents have come around and been super supportive :) it was really scary at first but it feels like a weight has been lifted. if you’re in a safe place to do so / you’re ready, then go for it. They might not take it that well at first like mine did
She failed as a mother sweetheart not you. On judgement day god will punish her for abandoning her child babe dont you worry😚😚
I remember my father telling all his kids (I'm the second oldest of four, birth order: older brother, me, younger sister, younger brother), that he'd love us no matter what. I got the opportunity to come out to him when I was 21, and he was so worried that he'd put too much pressure on me to be attracted to women. He died of an unexpected heart attack not long after that. I have no doubt that we would've formed a great relationship; he was a great man; I hope I'm like him.
Noooooo good people don’t live the longest in this cruel world so sorry for your loss (sorry for the late comment)
I always knew I was gay even as a small child, well, I did not know the word gay as meaning homosexuality but I was always intensely attracted to guys even grown men when I in the first grade. I was always the target of bullies which made school a total nightmare so I played hooky a lot. When the teacher left the room, or the bell rang to go to recess I would just cringe with total dread knowing what I would be facing on the so-called playground with the bullies. I usually had one friend who was usually somewhat cerebral because I abhorred slobs and morons. Had my first sexual experience at fourteen years old with a classmate. I never really came out of the closet because I was never in the closet, ever. My whole family knew I was different and just accepted it, never liked sports, PE class, or pep assemblies. I quit school at sixteen because it was just too much of a traumatic experience being beaten up every day before school and after school and during school hours when no adults were around. My life has been very difficult at times being that my childhood school experience has made me very intolerant, hostile, and unable to patronize anyone attempting to ramrod me around. I am now an alcoholic but have not drunk anything in two years. I got to much into the gay bar scene in my younger years and started drinking on daily bases by the time I was in my mid-twenties. In conclusion, I am now sixty-one, living with my eighty-three-year-old mother in a small Texas city of four thousand population. I am basically content but alone well besides my mother, have a nice family and a peaceful existence but was always hoping for more like wealth and excitement. Oh well, there is always tomorrow!! Enjoyed your video!!!!!
Me too -- I didn't even realize that 'gay' was a thing that was different or 'abnormal,' it just was who I was. It would take me maybe three years from the time I first had my, like, awakening to the fact that I was into men to the time where I actually figured out that it was this whole thing called 'being gay' XD
I realised i was gay when I started to question why I didn’t like boys in the way my friends did then we got a new English teacher and at first I was like I wanna look like that and then I was like no I think I just want that I’m still not out well I am. To a close friend and on the internet sometimes
I was about six when I knew I was different. I was sat on the bus upstairs, my man and dad behind me. We'd pulled in to a bus stop and there was a lad standing at it who caught my eye. As we drove away I turned my head to keep looking at him and saw a look on my mother's face that has haunted me all my life. It was one of disgust and worry. That's when I realized that showing interest in my own sex was not the done thing and became covert about it. I think a lot of gays experience something similar and learn to hide their true feelings. You are the exception.
Considering your age. I assume that your family couldn't put you to another school. Then again maybe your family was one of those "get over it" "boys being boys" "man up son!" I assume your mom and anyone else in family doesn't know.
@@captainnemo9742 ur def a Brit! Lol
“Be yourself today. You look absolutely beautiful like that” - Buddha
That was unfortunate. My own coming out was very uneventful. I stayed in the closet til 20 because I live in the rural south and as you might expect the homophobic evangelicals make up the majority of the population. I came out to my mother while driving with her in the vehicle. I pulled over and tried to voice it but nothing would come out. Nerves. But she intuitively picked up on what was going on and said it for me and then the conversation flowed from there. It was good. My thinking was that I would come out to my mother because I felt she was the only person I owed any explanation to, and then the rest of the planet could find out on their own or not. But I wasn't thinking that my mother is the family gossip, within 24hrs EVERYONE knew. My sister was in Germany at the time and even she knew! Thankfully everyone was supportive and has been ever since. Even with the community I haven't experienced as much issue as I expected. Only a couple not even noteworthy instances over almost 18 years ago. Even my Grandmother was supportive, she was the first to try and coax me out of the closet probably a couple years before this. I have been very fortunate in this regard. And I'm glad that you got away to where you could safely and freely come into your own!
Thank you for sharing your incredible story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You!
So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others
Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians.
The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! They even removed verses of Jesus Christs many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate!
In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse.
David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses!
If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Best Wishes and God Bless!
Lol does your father know divorce is a sin in the bible? I always find it hilarious (but also sad) when divorced people tell their gay kids they're going to hell.
Most supposedly religious people are fabulously hypocritical.
Divorce is a sin? Why did the Jewish people who preceded us Christains have divorce as an option?
@@70sfred1Jesus actually addressed that question. He said that basically, because the Israelites’ hearts “were hard,” they were allowed this accommodation, just like how they were allowed the accommodation of polygamy. This is what Jesus said in Matthew 19:8-9, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Therefore, technically speaking, divorce itself is not a sin, but remarriage to a different person after divorce is, unless the divorce happened due to cheating in the initial marriage as Jesus explicitly specifies.)
The divorced guy has a problem with someone being gay lol... someone needs to remind him that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Sorry you had, and continue to, go through that. I am incredibly lucky, my whole family is incredibly liberal and are super cool about it.
yep, I picked-up on that point too... "parents", lol, hardly ! jesus there should be a test..... love you Daniel, send them a copy of Prayers for Bobby for Xmas.... its great that they 'came-around' eventually, but seems they did this for themselves not because they really changed their attitude. I could never forgive those 2 years of hate. Thank god for your real mam. x
Grant Albrecht , I
don't have a problem with gays but what does one thing have to do with the other? it takes one person out of two to initiate a divorce (usually woman) .
Steve o. 🌻
I hope you the best I'm a closeted gay boy with hyper religious parents which sucks but I try my best to be my self and ignore there judgement :(
How are you now?
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You!
So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others
Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians.
The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! They even removed verses of Jesus Christs many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays. Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate!
In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse.
David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses!
If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's books on Amazon and internet book stores! The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations! Best Wishes and God Bless!
Have they ever mentioned about hating gays? my ex gf parents was SUPER RELIGIOUS and they still accepted her
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If you desire additional logical support, or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Wait until you’re over 18 if you can. Show them how great a person you are so when they see the whole you they can accept it knowing your heart.
I am a parent - my daughter came out to me last year (at 14!) and I sometimes cruise these videos to get some insight on how to, quite frankly, not say stupid things. We are lucky because we are super close and I really don't care that she is gay. We live in a really liberal city, Boston, and there is not much I am worried about outside of the regular things, will she fall in love with a great girl? Will a girl love her for all that she is? Will she be happy? I hope she has children. I hope she has a great career.. . blah blah. She is already beautiful, funny, smart, independent and strong - so I really cannot ask for much more. When I come across these types of videos my heart breaks. Know that your parents love you I am sure and that the ignorance and intolerance is about them, not you. Like at all. Not for a second. I am sure you have been told this, but its the truth. You will find your peace with them. I hope they find theirs. You a gorgeous, articulate, brave man - I wish you love and happiness with whatever path and whomever you choose :)
Very nice message!! However, I tell you that it's not a "path one can choose". (I don't know what you really meant by saying that at the end of your comment, sorry).
Kim, you're a great mother. Thank you for going above and beyond by checking out other "coming out" videos.
Leandro Gasperi The ‘life path’ would be career, family, friends, location, finances, etc. I never meant to insinuate it was a choice about sexuality - of course not! My apologies for any confusion in the way I wrote it :)
@@khartnett0921 Ok. Thanks for your answer!
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You!
So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others.
Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians.
The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays.
Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate!
In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament.
David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses!
If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores!
The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations!
Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican!
Best Wishes and God Bless!
I got here from your old video, it's wild to see how much you've grown into yourself! this internet stranger is proud of you. my coming out was in middle school, I went to this high school fair and while pouring over the pamphlets on the ride home I kept talking about an LGBT friendly alternative school in a roundabout way while my mom was stuck in traffic. at a certain point she just turned to me and yelled "are you gay? are you straight? what are you???"
it freaked me out, but it was just road rage and distraction. she wasn't mad, just impatient!
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You!
So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others.
Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians.
The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays.
Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate!
In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament.
David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses!
If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores!
The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations!
Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican!
Best Wishes and God Bless!
Hey Daniel, I'm glad all your family accept you now. It must have been very hard for you at the time.
I came out aged 21, like you my mother was brilliant. Happily she said she would tell my father. Later she told me he'd had a 'magic moment' which, on completion, she asked "are you done?". Apparently, she then proceeded to wipe him around the floor asking him "What the hell mattered about it?".... He agreed and both parents have been brilliant ever since.
I was very lucky, my parents were and still are very supportive and accepting. My heart goes out to the guys who really are hurt in the process.
May I ask please, could you take your bf / partner for an extended visit to your father's home?
((((((Big Hug))))) and love to you. Xx
My Mom still feels that way about Me. I was surprised that My Dad took it better than She did. I don't think He really understands it, but He is more accepting than My Mom is.
Listening to this make me realize how lucky I am. When I came out as bisexual my dad was ok with it and I was surprised because he’s Mexican and was raised catholic but my mom is just now getting used to it she’s just worried that my life is gonna be hard And I know that
When I met my BFF for the first time, the first thing she asked me was “Are you gay?” I told her I’m bi I’m so lucky to have her in my life she’s help improve my mental health and calm me down from anxiety attacks
I was dating a guy when I came out to my other friend he said “well at least you can’t get a girl pregnant” and I told him I still could cause I also date girls
Great example of how ‘it gets better’. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m glad your family came around and treat you with the respect you deserve:)
I have to admit, I always get wound up around the behavior of those in the "religious right." I was fortunate when I came out at age 22 (I knew from age 12 that I was attracted to guys) that my parents were pretty accepting and understanding, although they had a hard time dealing with what being gay meant for me and their potential future as grandparents. My struggle was mostly internal; by the time my dad asked me if I was gay, I was ready to say "yes," but I had to get it that being gay didn't necessarily define me as a person, it was just a part of who I was/am. My "acid tests" came when I went off to college at a VERY Southern Baptist university in Texas, and came face-to-face with the hypocrisy that is rampant in so many sects of organized religion. It wasn't just intolerance towards anyone who was different from "them," it was that THEIR version of the Bible was correct, and no one else's, and all sorts of other silliness. By the time I graduated 4 1/2 years later, I had sworn off organized religion altogether and embraced a higher unifying spirituality. My mother once acknowledged me for staying true to my positive, kind, good-hearted nature and not letting my struggles impact that. I would likewise acknowledge you, Dan, for the same. And to anyone dealing with coming out and struggling with being accepted by others - whether family, friends or any community - know you matter, you are valuable, you are unique, you are wonderful, and you are loved. The world is full of amazing people, it is a journey to find and connect with them, but it is one that is totally worthwhile.
Had the conversation with Dad then Mom .............we chat about it once. Never mentioned again. Brother and Sister disowned me .................So moved on and created a great family with great friends!!
It was probably 1972 when I came out to my mother. In 1974 I flew out of the closet. It was not easy but I was able to eventually bring it all together with my family. I enjoy the coming out stories, I was 20 and am now 67. All so long aho and far, far from my life today. I remember the pain and endless coming out to family member by family member. The coming out to family and friends back in the 1970s was a heroic journey. But it helped form a strong and sturdy constitution within me. I hope it does the same for you.
You've done very well educationally in spite of the pressure you've faced. A lot of gay people don't do well scholastically and career /job wise compared to their potential. Many damaged people and your's from watching some of your other videos, it's amazing that you stayed strong enough to come through and have made it better. What a horror story you've had.
You are helping others in this a great deal.
You are obviously a very caring and loving guy. So happy you are in the world. To make it better for those around you and your work toward mental heath (clothing brand) and life help through this youtube as many others set out to do is from a kind heart.
The unsung hero''s out to make it better and those more known like you, are part of the cherished group, you know!
(What a lovely smiling photo , so handsome and sexy, in your last frame of this video, Mr! )
Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate that so much :)
Well that was terrible . So sad you and anyone else had to endure this . Years after I came out , my Dad got all serious with my older sister . He was very upset , and asked her if she thought I was going to Hell . Concerned , she asked him if he thought that because , I was Gay. No , he said : " He does not go to church anymore ! How will he be with us in heaven ?"
She was relieved . They both did eventually grow to love my now Husband. Time helps .
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You!
So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others.
Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians.
The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays.
Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate!
In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament.
David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses!
If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores!
The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations!
Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican!
Best Wishes and God Bless!
I'm not out... Not fully anyway. A few close friends know> Idk what it is, I feel like I should have already come out. I'm 30. I don't think it's the fact of telling people, I think it's a matter of accepting myself. I don't think my family would accept it right away, but they'd get over it pretty quick. Thank you for sharing your story.
Billy Johnson it's always your choice whether or not to come out, and there's no correct age on when to do that. Two things to think about that were definitely true in my case: (a) them getting over it in time will only happen after you make the first move by coming out, and (b) I felt so relieved and relaxed after coming out, dealing with family that was unsure/unaccepting right away was easier than the burden of being closeted. If you chose to come out, I hope you find those to be true in your case too.
TheMaushPit thank you so much for your words. They truly mean a lot. The time you took away too reply means something. You’re right, The sooner they know in this situation the sooner they can move forward. Appreciate you.
Billy Johnson keep in touch and let me know if you do and how it goes. You can dm me on IG @robmaush
Last Dance, I think we need to clear away the concept that to be 'gay' means 'to suck dick or to do anal.' In my mind, those are not related to being gay, but ways of showing love for some people. I think we need to make that distinction. If we truly love someone as a gay person, we want intimate sexual contact, probably. So, sucking dick and anal penetration can be ways of showing love for some people. Kissing, cuddling, and touching can be ways for other people. I would say just be free to be who you are. Nothing required but that. Just my opinion.........be who you are.......Thanks...........Ray
Accepting yourself definitely needs to happen first. I remember having this epiphany moment in college where I looked at myself in the mirror one day and made myself speak the words, "I'm gay." It was like I needed to push myself to acknowledge the fact that I was, in fact, gay. And the thing is, it was liberating in a weird way, to hear myself say those two words. But once I'd done that, it all kind of snowballed from there. Once I accepted it for myself, it was time to tell friends. And that made me feel more comfortable as they accepted me as I was, and by the time I had one not accept me as I was, I'd been supported enough that it didn't bother me much at all. The family was tough. Nothing went as I'd anticipated. In fact, everything went exactly opposite of how I'd expected; dad was fine, and mom had trouble. Middle brother was in my corner, little brother was upset. Exactly opposite of what I'd thought would happen.... It was hard for a while. But everything worked out with my mom and the baby brother. My father is gone now, but the rest of us have such a good relationship now. I have a long term partner and my nephew and my niece both refer to him as Uncle too. We have never pressed this, but let the kids choose how they refer to him, and both of them have decided he is also their uncle.
My point, really, is that odds are that if you accept yourself, you will be accepted. And if, for some reason, you're not, the fact remains that you are loved, regardless of by whom. Blood may be family, but family goes beyond blood. You're never alone. 😊
WOW! I am a Pastor's Kid too! I am so glad someone understands me like you do. Awesome Channel, you are very funny!
I’ve just recently watched a few of your videos. Takes me back in time. I grew up in the 60’s, 70’s. Gay people back then were mostly relegated to t.v. talk shows or game shows as comic relief. I graduated from high school in 1980. Really didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I took a gap year, then enrolled in a community college. I met my first b/f there. He was a bit older than me, so I couldn’t introduce him to my folks because of the age difference. He began taking me to gay nightclubs, dance clubs and restaurants. I had 2 friends I’d known since high school. Two girls I was quite close to. I came out to them first to only be shocked when they told me they were gay as well, and a couple. They were quite closeted though and had never visited a gay bar. I asked if they wanted to try it with my b/f and they were curious and decided to try going with us. They met him for the first time when we all went out together. Things were going well for about a year, then everything fell apart. My folks had been very suspicious about the new “friend” they’d never met. They came home from a weekend at our yacht club. My mother was in a mood for a fight. She was picking away at me as soon as she walked through the door. She finally blurted out “John, are you GAY?”. I had been waiting for this explosion for a while, so I calmly said “I’ve realized in the last few years I’m attracted to men”. Then it really exploded. “BOB, DID YA HEAR THAT? YOUR SON IS GAY!”. My dad didn’t know what to say. Then my mom started screeching again. “SO I GUESS THIS NEW FRIEND OF YOURS IS GAY?” I said yes, Rich is gay. Then she shrieked a question she wasn’t expecting the answer to. “SO I GUESS THAT MEANS DEBORAH AND MICHELLE ARE GAY TOO?”. I calmly said, yes, Deborah and Michelle are gay too. She threw her hands in the air and screamed “SO EVERYBODY IS GAY AND I DONT KNOW ABOUT IT”. I said I didn’t think everybody was gay. That didn’t go over too well. More screaming in general, and what I wasn’t expecting happened. My folks said I had 30 minutes to pack what I wanted, leave my house keys, and the keys to the car they gave me as a gift, and GET OUT! I stood there stunned. “YOU BETTER MOVE BECAUSE NOW YOU HAVE 28 MINUTES!”. I ran up the stairs and packed everything I could think of I’d need for a job interview, grabbed my suits. Packed more things like underwear, grabbed all the notes and cards from Rich, walked down the stairs, threw the keys on the table and walked out the back door. I could feel the neighbors who were sitting on their front porches wondering what the hell had happened. I dragged everything up to Burger King to use the pay phone. I called my b/f who teased me I had to keep the calls down to 10 a day. I told him what happened. “Where are you?”. “I’ll be there as soon as I can”. We didn’t say much on the drive to his house. I walked through the door and fell apart. I cried for hours. I don’t know what time we went to bed. In the middle of the night I woke disoriented. Rich was facing me with his nose touching mine and his eyes staring into mine. “What are you doing?”. He said “I just wanted to make sure you were alright”. I cried again until I fell asleep.
It was bad, for a while. It took my folks awhile, but they finally came around. I went through sleeping on peoples couches, and the floor. Rich said he just wasn’t ready to live with someone. My life was in turmoil for a while. Rich died suddenly after a leukemia diagnosis. A few years later, I was dating someone who surprised me with the fact he was living with AIDS. I told him I could handle it. But after 8 months, he felt considering what I’d been through, it would be best if we didn’t see each other anymore. He died about a year later. Here I was 26, and a widower twice. I stopped dating and start seeing a shrink. He helped me a great deal.
In the fall of 1990, I met a guy at Tiffany. We began dating and it was nice. We approached 1 year, and he freaked out. He’d never dated someone that long before. We broke up. He called a week later asking if we could talk. He asked if I’d take him back. I said sure. After 2 more years we decided to move in together. When we were approaching our 10th anniversary, my folks approached us to offer to take us on a cruise to celebrate. The 4 of us had a wonderful time. Rich accepted a new career 800 miles away. I knew it would be best for us, but I didn’t want to move. Our folks were nervous. But we moved. I felt bad. When my mom and dad visited us in our new home, they said we made the right decision. After a few years, both my folks and his passed away. It’s been hard. I was also diagnosed with cancer. It’s been a tough road the last few years, but after 33 years, I can’t imagine who else I could do it with.
Hey John I read your story, just wanted you to know I noticed it and what a journey you have been on. Must have been tough what you went through as I’m a little lost in my journey and couldn’t imagine having to deal with most things you have. Broke me reading when you said your parents told you to leave. What a awesome tough person you are. Hope you get well soon and be strong as you are.
You dated 2 guys both named Rich?
it was a mind fart when I was typing. Although, my first b/f and the guy I dated with AIDS did have the same last name. My mom really freaked about that. “THEY AREN’T RELATED ARE THEY?”. They were not, just a weird coincidence.
This why it is important that we Gay men have our own spaces to talk about affairs that affect us and connect with other Gay men; in the same way that straight men and women have their own spaces, and straight men and women must respect Gay spaces and respect our differences 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Hi Daniel. Love your video’s....and love you! You can really tell that you are a great person, and I love that about you! I have been watching your vids for awhile now and was quite surprised when you mentioned in this vid that you were from Warsaw, Indiana. I am from Fort Wayne, Indiana, not far from where you grew up. I find that so cool! Still live in the Fort, and actually still love it here. It’s home for me. So just wanted to let you know, and also tell you how much I admire you, and that I also find you so dreamy!!! LOL. Keep up the good work, and never change your attitude.....as you are just GREAT!!!
Hey I’m old and not long to go but I haven’t come out and now it’s too late. Grab love whilst you’re able guys. Thanks for sharing your life story.
We love you Daniel 💜💜💜💜💜💜 You deserve to be happy and loved for who you really are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I wish you well and that you always can be happy and remain being the amazing human being that you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I will always support you Daniel ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I NOTICE ALL THESE GUYS THAT ON HERE DO NOT RESPOND SO THERE STILL UNDER GAY CLICK. WE NEEED TO MOVE VIBRATION UP AND CONECT. NOT ONE WAY ABOUT COMIN OUT YOU ARE WORTH MORE THEN BEING GAY. YOUR ONLY GAY IF YOUR PART OF LABELLING SYSTEM. YOU ARE MAN OF DIFFERNT EXOERIENCE TO FIND LOVE TO GIVE GOD YOU ARE THE EXPERIENCE. GAY IS NOT WHO WE ARE. ITS ONLY EXOERIENCE BUT CANT USE SCENE GIVEN TO YOU. ITS ALL SAME COLLECTIVE THAT BE MISTAKEN AS CABOL. BE ARGENT NOT SCENE BUT YOUR SELF. AND OTHERS TO YOU
I have told my mom that i was gay but i guess she doesnt believe me, and acts like i never told her. But she says if i really am then shes okay with it, she just thinks its too early for me to know cuz im only 16, but what she doesnt know is that when i was like 7 or 8, somewhere in thos years i was having relations with a guy( yes i know it was way early but thats how ik already) and i dont dare tell my dad because im pretty sure he would reject me, but hes not a good father to any of his kids anyway so ig it wouldnt really matter. It just scares me to tell anyone cuz i hate getting judged, and its just hard so im keeping it on the down low and ig waiting till after highschool so come out to my family and friends, but still not my dad cuz i dont wanna talk to him cuz hes is just horrible and i dont want to get into that story... Anyway thats my situation
Hey, don't worry about it. A lot of kids start sexually experimenting around age 10. It's a well-documented thing in psychology. Don't feel guilty or weird over it.
Wait until you’re an adult. It’s far better when you shown them that you’re mature and grown and you can take care of yourself.
I had a bully in grade school that was relentless. He would taunt me everyday beating me up because he saw I was different from him. To make a long story short, my bully is now living with his husband down in Florida.
What a fucking hoot!!
Beachesboy totally!
Hello again, Daniel. This was excellent! My story of coming out? Don't have one. After being in the closet for the first 21 years of my life, I came to the realization that my sexuality wasn't anyone's business but those I decided to share it with. I decided just to live.
I never discussed it with my parents, I figured if they wanted to know, they'd ask. They never did. Some friends asked, I told them. Most said it was fine, those that we're "shocked"? Well, we parted ways and the truth is I never missed them. In day to day business, no one ever asked, just as no one ever asked what my religion was. It wasn't relevant. So I never flaunted it and it was never a problem.
I guess my approach from the time that I admitted to myself that I was gay, was that's my business and I don't have to share that part of myself with anyone that I don't care to.
Good video topic, Dan. Have a great week! 💝
I agree with this - I do not care if you are gay, straight, black, white, Jew, Gentile, whatever it is YOUR journey, meaning none of these "statuses" have anything to do with your relationship with anyone else. My religion has zero to do with my work, my religion does not make me work better or worse. Being gay is the same thing, unless I and the other guy are having sex, what does gay have anything to do with this relationship. It is not about "hiding" anything, it is about the big question: What difference does it make to you what I am or NOT? I can be a real nice gay guy or a real POS gay guy - gay has nothing to do with it, either I respect others and am a nice individual or I am disrespectful to other's journeys and a POS. We must stop this - accept me for who I am nonsense. Let's get over it, not everyone is going to like you regardless of some status, you must grow up and live your life as best you can, RESPECTFUL to your journey and respect other's journeys. This does not mean to be someone's door mat - just to be clear. For this example: To shout, I am here, queer, get used to it, puts others on notice to get ready for battle. There is NO BATTLE FOLKS, it is you warring against you.
Yeah that’s a good way to live life. But I feel bad for people who are Christian and everyone around them is telling them that being is a sin and they are going to hell.
Honestly, I just closed my ears to it. I worked in a warehouse and the amount of "fag" talk was amazing! Never met so many guys that were obviously frightened to death of their own sexuality!
There is nothing to feel bad about other people. That is their journey and does not have to be your journey. Has it ever occurred to people that some people LOVE DRAMA in their life and enjoy being victims? I know several people that if they did not go to the doctor constantly, it would seem there would be no purpose in their life. It so appears "their sickness gives them a reason to get up in the morning." We must all learn to live our own journey, meaning to oneself be true. Stop making excuses by saying "I was born gay" or who would chose to be gay? Being gay is a great CHOICE FOR ME, I do not need an excuse to prefer to be with men. My preference is right for me and does NOT need to be right for you. And both are totally OK. I really SENSE we make more out things than are really necessary.
Why is it that people do not discuss how much money they have in their bank accounts, but have no issue discussing what they do or not do in their bedrooms? I am sorry to give you the bad news, but have you ever noticed some people discriminate against the rich and some people discriminate against the poor, it is the same thing with gays, blacks, Jews, Italians, Irish, etc. We just must "get over it" that someone is not going to accept two guys screwing each other. I consider being gay a choice, A GREAT choice, I do not need to explain it or justify MY choice. When we start saying, I was born this way, I am making a piss poor excuse for MY decisions IN MY LIFE. There is nothing wrong for PREFERRING someone of your own gender to screw. Do not justify. For those that say it is unnatural, this is TRUE for them. I must respect their beliefs. They are entitled to those beliefs. This does not give license to them to hurt me physically. If they do not want to hire me or serve me in a restaurant, I am totally ok with this, BECAUSE in turn, this gives me the right not to hire their pitiful and sorry asses. Do you see? This philosophy I am here queer, get used to it - is going to have one end result. Law has a way of boomeranging with unintended consequences.
Well I came out last year when I was 17 and I was away at college and used messenger to tell them, my mum was like i love you and then asked when my driving lesson is and my dad was like I already knew (i think he assumed rather than knew). But now I kind of regret not telling them face to face as it doesnt feel as special. 😧
You are lucky anyway! Just make the best of your time together now.
My coming out process was long, when I first admitted I was gay, I was 25 (3 years ago). I always knew I had a thing about guys, but it was not okay to being gay when I was younger, not for my family, not for my friends, not at school nor in society. When I was in high school, not only did people make fun of gay people but a teacher got kicked out for being gay. How horrible, as he was scammed of doing gay propaganda. (while our elderly math teacher was really doing pedophile things). So with that mind-set, I remained closeted. Not many people were coming out, even in my college years, until one of my very good friends helped me realized the reason why I always kept myself pro-occupied was to bury the fact that I was gay. I finally came out, not to my friend but to myself. And from then, I slowly came out to my friends. Some of them reacted negatively, thus revealing they were not my real friends, some of the girls admitted they had a crush on me and some of the others became my bestest friends, they were so supportive until this day I love them. Coming out, helped me being more myself, attracting more positiveness and feeling like this heavy burden got lifted. 2 years after, I finally got the courage to come out to my family, knowing things were getting more accepted. They really took it the wrong way, my mom cried for hours, my dad first laughed saying it was a phase but later, until this day threatening me. They now ignore the fact and try to consider me as straight (as that is normal for them). They asked me to not tell anyone. It's an ever struggle at home. About 6 months ago at Canada pride, I got my first kiss (Age 27). It was filmed and put on my channel. My parents gay bashed me when I got home. My 28th bday was a disaster also because more and more I stay single (from women) more they bash me. That is my story.
Wow. Your story is as upsetting as Dan's.
What's Up Montreal? Did you hate your parents
What's Up Montreal? Did you really hate your parents so much
SO GLAD THAT U R GOING 2 B A POSITIVE MENTOR TO OTHER'S! SOMETHING GOOD CAME OUT OF THIS YOU. MUCH LOVE*
rejected by your family is literally saddest thing ever 😭
I could definitely relate to you story. I was raised in a small town and attended church all my life. Church 2 times on Sunday again on Wednesday night. Church college etc. Family was really well known in town. I never told my parents but I think they suspected. I more or less outed myself when I took a guy home with me for Thanksgiving one year. Fortunately my siblings were okay with me. Still struggling with many aspects of being gay but I am a work in progress. Btw Daniel, its boxer briefs for me.
WHAT A SMALL WORLD! I am a 65 year old gay man and BOTH of my parents were Free Will Baptist ministers.....in the OZARKS! And since my father was heavy into physical punishment I didn't dare to come out. Mostly what I remember about those years is being tense....ALL THE TIME! Glad to meet another survivor.
I remember being subliminally terror stricken in High School. One day, can't recall what day, when I was in college I suddenly realized I'd gone whole day without feeling terror. Wow! My dad was into whipping the shit out of me too. I've toyed with the idea of pouring piss on his grave but never got around to doing it.
Lee: Thanks for your comment. I'm so happy to see how much better things are for LGBTQ youth.
Lee, the same occurred with me. I was constantly tense and stressed all through Junior and senior high school. Sleep and dreams were my only refuge.
Many of us coming out suffer from some degree of PTSD. And healing from that can take years. Looks like you are doing great.
I came out at 38, after being married, with 3 children. I had repressed my sexuality amazingly well, up to that point. So coming out was as shocking for me, as it was for everyone else.
One of my low points was having my 78 year old mother (who I had been close to all of my life), take my deceased fathers framed picture, hurl it across the room, and shout that she should have cut "it" off, rather than having me.
If it had not been for my three young children, I would have had no reason to keep going. But 28 years later, I'm now married to my husband (we have been together for 22 years), the kids are happy and well adjusted and grown up (which weirds me out a little!) And the siblings that I have, that still caring the evangelical, you are going to hell, mentality, are no longer a part of my life.
It took a long time to let go of them and the "we can still be a family dream", but I finally did. And have embraced the family and friends I do have.
For some, coming out can be a long road of discovery and healing and forgiveness. And while I want every one of my siblings to have a good life, I just cannot be involved in toxic relationships anymore! Hell, at 63, I don't have time!!
So, there you go, kid. Thanks for doing a coming out video. I imagine it was harder than you expected.
TheJackmark Awwwww!
TheJackmark did you really hate your mom and your sister and your brother
Your mother is or was a savage. period. I admire you and your husband.
Great that you're back😇
I came out to my family 14 months ago and received support from all of them, although my father had a hard time at first. Last summer was great since I was fully out and felt stronger than ever, but college started and I went back to feeling disoriented. I feel like I have a huge struggle with internalized homophobia: I still havent had any experiences with men of any kind, feel only attracted to straight guys and I'm afraid to talk to gay guys (i still feel weird inside when I see feminine men). It is very frustrating, especially when I have worked so hard to build a healthy environment around me and still I'm very messed up... Any clues?
Pepe Vinkin You are not messed up. I experienced similar at your age. I found gay friendly counseling (sex therapist) and was able to sort and work through those issues. I am way better with accepting and being proud of who I am as a person first. I am really glad to have worked through my perception of thinking my gadar could discern accurately gay from straight. I learned that could actually be a safety issue if I approached or interacted with someone assuming I could differentiate. I am attracted to masculine guys still, but I am not bothered at all by the presence of feminine mannerisms in guys. I had to work through all the negative messages and stereotypes that had collected in my brain from all the different negative sources that ridiculed and oppressed gay people and caused me to sort of self hate and criticize affeminate gay guys. I wish you well and peace and I hope you can also work through your issues as well.
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Needed to comment about this video............. 1. Parents always knows........... And 2. Love is out Religions, Society, fatherhood and motherhood. As 'no is no' - love is love. All people who loves you, they love because of you. Not because you're rich or poor & straight or gay. 🎉
Thank you Billy ❤️
Daniel, you’re are amazing for going through that and coming out the other side!
How did you stay so calm and clear headed? You are strong and caring.
Absolutely loved this video!!! I currently live in Indiana now and am anxious to move away for similar reasons. Congrats to you on living your life the way you see fit!!
I have two grandchildren, a boy and a girl, both gay, and I can't imagine not loving and supporting them. My daughter, their mother, feels the same way, I just don't understand how anyone throws away their children because of how they're born. It's so sad to me that gay people suffer and stress with the thought of telling their parents something they have no control over. Being gay isn't a choice, and calling it, coming out, makes it seem like a dirty little secret. It's just a truth about how they were born, and kids should tell their parents as soon as they can verbalize it.
Hey Daniel, first off glad you're back on TH-cam! I'm into photography and videography trying to make it my life career! Would love to work with you sometime in the near future! My coming out story, was pretty much the same reaction to your parents or your dad's side, except my parents are still together, and both vary religious, and don't agree with my lifestyle choices, but still love me and will continue to support and care for me. I just came out to them about 5 months ago, but have been slowly coming out to friends the last three years. Have always felt this way my whole life, I do hold my Christianity close to my heart and have been struggling with it since coming out to them. But with this new year, going to continue working on my faith and accept who i am at the same time, knowing the man up stairs will always love and forgive me for my choices. I know people say you can't have religion and be gay at the same time, but i truly don't believe that. Anyway hope you read this, and enjoy this new year man and your weekend! :)
Casey Eley
You can be a gay Christian. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. We are saved when we accept Jesus as God. We are saved by our faith alone. Nothing we do can saves us. Good deeds are good because they are a concrete manifestastion of our faith, but good deeds/lifestyle choices are not what save us. It is our faith.
Hang in there, buddy. Take your faith seriously and enjoy life. Be the man your faith in Christoanity tells you to be.
Casey Eley: It's important to remember that being gay is NOT a lifestyle choice. Belonging to a political party, deciding to live in San Diego or Boston, or becoming a vegetarian IS a lifestyle choice. Being gay is how you were created and if you believe God created everyone, he certainly doesn't make mistakes, eh? It really makes me cringe when I hear people say 'lifestyle choice'. I'm a redhead. Certainly didn't choose to be. Nor did I choose to be gay. Had my first experience with a guy when I was in the first grade - - basically exploring each other; as kids, I'm told, will do. However it was really exciting. A couple of years later when a girl wanted to show me her parts, etc. I wan't the least bit interested. If it were her brother I surely would have been.
I'm sorry to hear that your coming out experience with your parents didn't go well Daniel. Like you I grew up in the church, my parents were the custodians for our congregation for many years and my mother was even the Superintendent of the Sunday School, so very religious. We're part of the United Church of Canada, so a mainstream denomination, but a much more liberal doctrine than you experienced. My parents, though disappointed that there would be no more grandchildren, reacted well to my coming out and accepted my husband as they would have any son, or daughter in law. They became my strongest supporters, always in the background, and even attended our wedding.
Straight people are not entitled to grandchildren.
im sorry you had to go through that THANK YOU for helping people we need more like you.
I’ve never related to anyone more. My stepdads a pastor, he didn’t take it well when I came out, he prayed for me to change, my mom didn’t agree with me, they wouldn’t let me out anymore, they started neglecting me, questioning everything I do, but the never hated me. They still cared for me anyway. I’m only 17, I came out last year (I actually was outed). But it’s so great to hear a story that’s super close to mine. I’m jst hoping my future turns out as good as yours did..
I know one shouldn't predict another's future; I mean, who really knows. But I can say life is a lot different when you become an adult. My high school years were a horror. Iv've never gone to a reunion. Never want to see those folks again. I do hope when you're out on your own you can take a deep breath, realize they can't get to you anymore, and enjoy life. I don't recall the exact date, but when I was about 19 or 20 I suddenly realized I had passed a whole day without being tense, having no terror, and not on guard. What a feeling!!
KpopMakesMeLoseControl did you really hate your parents
Thank you for such an honest video! It makes me really sad that in this day and age people still have to go through what you did, and face such hardship. I've been very lucky, having grown up in Amsterdam in the Netherlands which is a really accepting place and you're more likely to get bullied for being homophobic than being gay. I never once faced any sort of homophobic comment or experience and I was naively not even aware of homophobia until I started using the internet. As far as coming out, i never really did. I just started hooking up with and dating guys when i was about 15 with no real questions asked. When i was 16 i brought home my first boyfriend to meet my parents and they treated him just the same as they would have if he were a girl. The word "gay" never came up and i didnt need to explain myself, it was all just very normal. I'm in my last year of school now and am still with the same guy, and he's been fully accepted into the family. I just hope that in other countries things can reach the same level. We need to teach our kids from a young age that love is love and labels are not for people. In netherlands we have had same sex marriage since 1998 and something like 98% of people support lgbt rights according to polls. I really hope that this can soon be the case everywhere and that nobody has to go through what you did
Damn! Your use of English is so impressive. I was only in the Netherlands once for a week, Maastricht, and only learned to say 'Thank You' which , as I recall, sounded something like 'donkey vel'? See, I've forgotten it already. As an American I was so impressed with all the bicycles - - even old ladies - - riding everywhere. I was staying at a small place and had such a crush on the young guy who ran the place.
The story is sweet
Telling someone they are going to hell is not acceptance or treating you OK. You deserve better. Love you.
I never really came out of the closet easily and I never really hid who I was for the most part. I too was brought up in church my whole life and always heard that it was a sin to be gay. I was bullied in school even though they never really knew if I was gay or not. I was always shy and quiet until I joined the Army. I was out to those who were totally cool and didn't care, and those people were the best.
My whole family knew and I never really had to come out to the family except for my mom. My parents had divorced when I was a year old and I've always lived with my mother until I moved out on my own. I had reconnected with my father many years later when I was in my late 20's and I had told him in a conversation and he seemed to take it well. My mom knew but she kept trying to deny it I'm sure, but she would find things like a porn DVD I had, or a disk that had pictures on it including dick pics of other guy's. She obviously didn't like it and told me to get rid of it because she did not want that in her house that it was not of God. Her and my current step dad even tried to pray over me and pray the gay away, obviously it didn't work. I always tried to brush it under the rug if she would bring things up until a few years ago when my ex basically drug me out of the closet that I was basically hiding in from my mother and he forced me to tell her when she had asked if he and I were dating. My ex had come out when he was younger and had a better experience than I did even though he had been struggling with it himself until he came out, so it was easy for him. But I didn't want to really even approach the subject because mom would constantly bring up religion and I just did not want to hear that mess. So I came out and she threw a fit but it was mainly because I was lying to her all that time, she brought up how it's against God and all that. Well she eventually cooled down and has excepted it more now and it's shocking especially because I have a friend who is a drag queen and my mom just loves that friend even though they've never met in person. My mom added him to Facebook and they talk all the time, my mother also loves some of the outfits he wears in his shows.
That all just blows my mind, my mind was blown year before last on Thanksgiving when my ex and I were still together, we had gone to Hanahan, SC where my sister and her family lives and my mom and step dad were there for Thanksgiving also. Well my ex and I had planned to go and even got a hotel because for one thing I wasn't sure how my sister and her husband were going to deal with my ex and I sleeping together in front of her kids, not that we would obviously be doing anything other than just laying together, but I just wasn't sure. I also knew that my mom and step dad were staying there also because they came up from Florida, and I knew that mom had told my sister and I years ago that if we were to become gay that she would still love us no matter what, but our lovers were not allowed to step foot in her house. Well knowning all that my ex and I got a hotel room like I said, well before we had left, mom called me and asked what plans my ex and I had for sleeping arrangements and that she was going to make up the sleeper sofa for us, and that right there put me in shock because I had remembered the things that she had said years ago, so I just was in total shock and I told her that my ex and I booked a hotel room. So my ex and I arrived at my sister's house and everything went great until mom put me in shock again when she took selfies with my ex and even included him in the family photo we took. I just couldn't get over her doing that, I was happy that she included him in the family because of us being gay.
So like I said, my mother is coming along but not quite ready to March in any pflag parade yet. The rest of the family on my mother's side of the family has been supportive of the fact that I was gay even my Grandfather jokes around about it and one of my Uncles does too. My uncle who jokes about it has had gay friends and is totally cool about it. My aunt is the same way and says that she has gay friends too and has been supportive. My father's side hasn't really said much about it even though they know because we're all on Facebook except for my father, because he is not technologically savvy. I don't know my grandparents on his side because his father passed away years ago before we reconnected and the mother only speaks to certain people apparently.
Now the Army has been pretty much the same as civilian life, you have people who are cool with it and those who are not. I have been in the Army National Guard for going on 15 years, so I was in during Don't Ask Don't Tell. Pretty much everyone knew that I was gay or assumed even though I only told those who I was close to. I was deployed to Iraq for the second time when the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy was dropped. I was a nervous wreck because I had always heard the conversations that the straight guys had against the gay's, these are the usual guy's who think every gay guy wants them. But after it was dropped life went on and all was good.
That's some story! . So glad it has a happy ending.
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I understand your story -mine was really negative but I found friends were positive to help me be a more prouder gay man-there are great people who support us all.
Ok since you asked in your video here is my experience. My first X, who was 13 years older than me, told my parents while we were together; because he thought it would make things less stressful for me. Turns out my parents said they had always known and did not care. Only wish my parents had told me this sooner, like when they first suspected, because it would have made my life growing up easier. I would not have hated myself so much and would have been a lot less stressful. Still have lasting effects from how I grew up hating myself to this day.
I don't know whether this will help, but here goes:
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Told my family that i am gay but they just will not accept it i dont know what to do.
Just believe in yourself, talk to your friends, go to your local LGBT+ organization and ask to talk to someone. Life does get better. I am 75 and life does get better.
Its gonna be ok my mum also doesn't accept but what i learnt is that they are people out there who will and if your family doesn't its ok just be patient give them time but just know everything is gonna be ok there still people who are homophobic don't beat yourself up over it.
frik smith did you really hate your parents so much
valeria riey did you really hate your mom
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not blaming God. GOD LOVES YOU, Jesus Christ Loves You!
So many people abuse the name of God and Jesus Christ. So many call themselves Christians and abuse others.
Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance of all others including Gays and Lesbians.
The oldest texts of the Bible used to contain pro Gay verses! The Popes and medieval editors and redactors even removed verses of Jesus Christ's many LOVE affairs and encounters with gays.
Jesus Christ was very open about His gay LOVES. Popes (Clement) (and Popes after Pope Leo the Ninth) ordered the verses removed. They did this because they could not demand the monks and nuns to be celibate if Jesus Christ was not celibate!
In the last years of Jesus Christs life He did have a Gay marriage and married His Beloved named John. The word Beloved is used to describe one's most intimate lover and spouse. Which John is confusing because there are several John's in the New Testament.
David and Jonathan of the Old testament also had a Gay Marriage! According to ancient Jewish wedding practices: they had a dinner to announce their Union, and then they had an exchange of wedding gifts which was each gifted to the other brand new raiment clothes and they then took up living together as Spouses!
If you wish for more information on the subject that the Bible was originally Pro-Gay and that Christianity was originally Pro-Gay please look up and get a copy of the following author's many excellent books on Amazon and internet book stores!
The Author is JOHN BOSWELL. He is one of the greatest Christian Church's Historians! He was also a Professor of History and the Head of the Department of History at Princeton University! All his many books on the subjects are absolutely thoroughly researched, documented and with complete detailed citations!
Because of his incredible Princeton University Professorship, qualifications, life record of high standing and his professional "credentials", he was able to ACCESS the: "closed to the public" research and reference libraries of Christendom including the substantial histories, records and volumes of even the Vatican!
Best Wishes and God Bless!
Just came across your video (Troy). Came out at age 38 married father of 3 from the Independent Baptist Church background. (Veggie Tales was too liberal for us) Worked in the church my entire life. Needless to say it was a horrific experience. Lost my church friends, lots of family. We live in Indiana now south of Indianapolis. Thanks for sharing your story!!
Hey man, glad you had the guts to do what you did. And that is the best side of your story that you don't credit yourself in having the guts to do what you did. I have never come out...thought that being married would shake off the urges....3 kids later I realize I gotta live the life I have unless I want to hurt others and I just cant do that. So my hat is off to you for being the man I never could be.
That's something I did too. I had a great relationship with her, we were good friends as well, and were soulmates. She died and my kids are grown so I'm -- at last -- free to be my real sexual self .HOWEVER, I'm not bisexual. I never look at another woman but - -wow - - I sure look at guys.And, when I'm lucky, I score.
Good that your Mom was fine with it though it's awful to hear on how your Dad's side of the family treated you just because you were gay which is not fair. Not matter how much they believe in their religion, it's no excuse to be homophobic. Least they're ok with you now and I'm glad that you're ok. Everyone should be accepted and give each other kindness and love no matter who they are.
My Coming Out experience went smoothly with my friends and family accepting me and some of them putting up clues here and there. Not everyone's coming out experience is like this I know but least it's something for me to be thankful for and I can only hope that everyone will be accepted coming out too.
One day, I just brought my boyfriend home. Acted like a normal couple. Bare in mind my parents did not know I was gay and they actually never made mention of anything. I put it as my status on facebook and my aunt called squealling. She loved it. My grandma was concerned people would hurt me (bless her heart I love her) but ultimately anything that made me happy was worth it. As for my dad and mom they later made smaller mentions of how they did not care about it and treated it as completely normal which is why they never reacted. My friends knew and I am the main glew to our close circle of 12. Overall I was very very lucky and fortunate.
This is how I recommend to anyone who askes. "Coming out" , in my opinion is admitting something is wrong with you. The day my brother and sister feel the need to explain their sexuality to my parents I may feel like doing the same. Just bring your boyfriend to the next family occasion and introduce his as your partner. Don't go getting totally passionate straight or gay. There is nothing wrong with you and if anyone has an issue it's their issue not yours.
I'm really sorry you had to go through that but proud that you've made it so far from that point
i feel so sorry for you but I'm happy that you finally found happiness
You are so brave. Thanks for sharing your story buddy.
HI there. Thank you for telling your story. I would like to point out that your paster father and his family who believe you are going to hell, are not really okay with you and the attitude they have is still abuse. I get that they are not mean on the surface anymore, but you do have a right to expect love and support rather than neutrality covering up the attitude that you are evil. I hope you are able to understand the difference and are able to be with people from whom you can expect more. Best wishes to a brave person who was strong to survive what was a truly hellish family experience. I'm glad you talked about it to us all.
I’m proud of you and I’m happy but not happy that we had similar stories. I started dying though when you said “we just pretended that I didn’t come out” lol My mom reacted the same way. Proud of you bro and much love.
I’m like laughing for half of this because ur just like “oh crap now I remember” lol 😂
OMG.."I remember now"..
How many times can you say that?...well..much luv..♡
Hi I am a freshmen in high school and I afraid of what my mom will do when she finds out. I have told few people that I am gay, but my family is extremely religious will besides my cousin who knows about me. But I am afraid that they will treat me as if I was a criminal just because of my sexuality, but your vid helped me a little bit of all the fear I have.
It'll be hard, but be brave. Tell yourself in four years you will be free, a legal adult. Probably be hell before then, I fear. Wish I could help.
Solrac sanedrac did you really hate your parents
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If you desire additional logical support or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God”- the psychological origins of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or htttps://homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Thank you for reaching out to help others. I wished there was someone like you when I grew up. Even though I'm older now, still wrestle with religion and because of that I didn't come out for many years.
OMG! Veggie Tales. Lol. #OhWhereIsMyHairbrush
hahahaha omg I just died lol
Man that takes me back I have not seen VeggieTales in freaking years
Thanks for sharing @danielxmiller! I also came out at 16 and looking back, I might have waited a couple of years, get away from high school and all that stress. But, I was also outed by my best friend, so I understand the challenges -- mine were a bit different than yours but also very similar
Here's why I think we're maybe only 1 or 2 generations away from parents no longer having a problem with their kids being gay. According to an MTV study, 91% of millennials say their generation believes in equality more than older generations. I'm so optimistic that as they become parents and their kids become teenagers/20-somethings, they will all just embrace sexual diversity, and lgbt+ kids coming out will have a much easier time being accepted.
Oh! May it be so.
I stumbled again on this and it was so heart-warming I watched it again and was as moved as if I were seeing it anew. I made many comments which I hope were helpful to others.
You're nicer than I would have been. I would have told your dad that his apology doesn't mean shit until he can figure out a way to give me my horrible last two years of high school back. I'm not a very forgiving person.
I actually totally understand that, I don't understand how someone can just throw a veil onto horrible things that were done/said (I don't know if that expression exists in english 😅), parents love their children if they accept them the way they are and if they don't... well you know my answer. (It may sound rude, but it's what I think).
Daniel, you're getting braver and braver... I've followed you for a long time, and I'm so proud of your progress both in your ability to mature in your self-worth and professionally. You're just great to share your story.
I'm 71 years old and I'm not out... mostly because my sister (my parents are passed) is very religious (Baptist) and I am religious too (Methodist) but my religion doesn't condemn me, but I fear my sister will. I doubt if I'll ever come out as I have a few gay friends but mostly straight friends and never the twain shall meet. Oh, to make matters worse I became HIV positive last year. I'm still very sexually active mostly with much younger guys, and I don't think I will ever find someone who wants to be with me as a partner. I'm not unhappy with my life... it is what it is. I'm happy and have had a prosperous and wonderful life with many close friends, but my sexuality will probably always be a secret I'll take to my grave. I guess it's my generation, but it is what it is. Keep up the good work and make more vlogs... they are great!!.
Sonny
I'm so sorry, Last Dance, but I don't recall asking you to care. Sheesh, you must be having a bad hair day or something. I hope things get better for you.
Hey, Last Dance, no worries, apology accepted. I appreciate very much your letting me know. Renews my faith in the good in most folks.
Tolerating you while ignoring your sexual orientation isn't the same as accepting you for who you are, but I guess it's better than nothing.
I realized when I was about 7-8 years old that I was gay....but it was 1968/1969. At that time you couldn't tell anyone because you would be disowned and shunned by society. Strangely at that age I was especially aroused by very masculine hairy chested muscular males. At the sametime I was battling a serious social anxiety avoidance disorder......which robbed me of a life. Fifty years is a hell of a long time to deal with such a disorder....and to hide in the closet. Talk about stressful for a small child. Over the last 30 years (from official diagnosis) I didn't receive even one chemical, biological, neurological, DNA or chromosomal test! Not even one MRI scan. Quality health care right?
My parents are pastors, I actually came out to them when I was 11, but they didnt take it seriously, they thought it was a phase, my father talked to me saying that god make me a man to be with a woman, and that I didnt have any experience in bed with someone so he told me that I didnt know what I wanted. My mother by the other way was more worry and she use to talk to me once a month alone in the car about how was my relationship with god and how I felt about my sexuality. Both didnt accept me as gay, but both preferret to kind of ignore it.
The last month my father found out that I have a boyfriend and everything became chaos in my house, they are trying to change my sexuality with family therapy, praying, reading book about what christians think about it, they exposed "my case" in the church publicly, and I'm here just wating to finish college to get a job and get out of my house.
What can I say, at least my boyfriend stills support me and he cant see me, but we talk through SMS's 'cause my mother check out my messenger. The last thing they told me alone was that they wanted to make me hormonal analysis to see if they can treat me with hormones.
Does anyone know if this guy can go to a lawyer or someone with authority that can keep him out of his nightmare? SO many are ignorant that it's the way you are; not something you choose. I'm horrified to think he'll be forced to take some kind of hormone. That's really fucked up.THATLUNA: Hang in there guy. How old are you?
ThatLuna did you hate your parents
ThatLuna did you really hate your parents so much
I so glad you were able to get out and begin living a normal life. My ciming out was made easy by my ex-wife telling everyone that I had confessed to her. y relationship with my family was amazingly peaceful and we had frequenct contact. I talked to my sisters often during the week and talked to my mom every morning. My mother did not say anything about my predicament for 5 years, then she pretty much gave me the "you're going to hell" pronouncement, then she died 3 days later. I'm still bewildered.
Glad that it went so well for u💕
you are so strong and i suspect these experiences made you that way
Hey Daniel 👋🏽👋🏽 your story really hit me. I was grateful that my parents were okay with me being gay. They love me no matter what and I’m very fortunate of the outcome. I know it’s always challenging to accept who you are and who you love especially in a society that views homosexuality as a sin. I love your videos and channel! ❤️
As much as it hurts them and no matter how much they'll attempt to bury memory of you they will never forget you ever.
Hey Daniel. I have a story that relates to me being gay but I don't know if you have any advice. I'm 16 years old and openly gay. My parents are accepting and I go to a very tolerant high school. I have only a few friends and I've never even kissed a guy (both of those things are works in progress). I'm becoming worried about my future. Whenever I see gay guys including you I always notice how attractive and beautiful they are and they make me feel ugly by comparison. I'm not that fit yet although I am improving. My face has acne, I always have dark circles under my eyes and I measured my face recently and found out I have a triangular face. I'm worried that when I join the gay scene in a few years I won't be able to compare to the other guys and I'll be left alone. Do you have any advice?
I'm sorry you have to hear this from me but you dont need to worry, acne will fade, muscles aren't everything and the way your head is shaped doesn't make you undateable, when your old enough and get into the scene I'm sure guys will come to you, I felt the same way about myself and I was met with so many guys way out of my league who wanted to get with me when i first got into the gay scene, the same will happen to you, just give it time and know that you are still blooming into a mature man so you dont need to put to much pressure on yourself for a boy, it will happen when it happens and it will be great, have a wonderful day and i hope this helped you.
Mason,
We are constantly bombarded by standards of beauty that are unattainable. Remember that we’re our own worst critic and that you will be somebody’s everything and there’s at least one other kid in your circle that thinks you’re the cat’s meow. Trust me not everyone in the community is a 10 and most aren’t looking for a 10 and if they are, pass. Don’t believe the lie that our worth is defined by our looks. We’re so much more than a 6 pack. Slow down... all will come into place when it’s supposed to. I promise.
B
Keep working out at the gym! (I did.) You will be surprised at how many things that will fix! I cannot give medical advice, but I have been helped by the following: washing my face with gentle soap, dabbing (at separate times) with crushed raw garlic, or apple cider vinegar, or triple antibiotic ointment. Good luck!
those shorts are cute :) Also I´m sorry you had to go through that
I came out to my parents when I was 14. They said OK but you're a bit young to put a label on yourself. When I turned 18 they both sat me down and asked if I was still gay. I told them I was and they said that they still loved me and that I should bring my partners home. Mum was always keen that no-one should be alone on holidays especially Christmas so she encouraged me to bring any of my gay friends who had been disowned by their families home. She always put on a huge buffet and there were always a lot of my friends around for the meal.
What a wonderful mum. Such a contrast to the various comments above.
If your family rejected you, remember that there are others including myself who care about you, do not despair reach out to us if you need to vent/kvetch etc. You are a brave young man be yourself and move forward, those that shunned you will regret having done so, so be happy ! !
I really don't think pastors should have anything to say about sexual life style. Even though they say that gay/lesbian/transgender, etc. people are going to hell. And that it is a sin. But I have known pastors/preachers of Church of Christ, Baptist, Latter Day Saints, etc. faith, who have had affairs on their wives while married and got caught. Now wait, isn't this a sin as well? I don't see how they can say we are sinners and going to hell, when they can cheat and whore their self's out, while they are suppose to be in a loving, honest, and caring relationship. But I guess they are a exception to the rule. They can sin and its going to be ok, and nothing will happen to them for it. But the rest of us are going to hell no matter what.
Thanks for sharing your story.
My best friend accidentally outed me when I was 17 but, my mom accepted me and still loved me.
I came out when I was 17. I actually first told my older sister, and told her not to breath a word of it to anybody, which she promptly did to everybody by the end of the very next day...so it made my work much easier having to deal with the reactions alone instead of the instigation, and the reactions...which is an entirely different package deal altogether. I come from pastors, and ministers within the UPCI. Every male within my family has, or had a church...except for little ol' me. I told my dad, once, that I felt called to be a minister...and he so wisely told me that I really didn't. I'm sure he was testing my resolve, but I took it as an out...thank the gods!
dad says your going to hell ...lol oh my goodness...my dad is pretty harsh too...silent treatment
About homosexuality: homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If you desire additional logical support, or if you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this can help you: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Thanks for your inspirational story.
I’m like a freaking Jack-in-the-Box. Once I popped out of the box there’s no way in hell you can get me back inside the box. Try all you want. I’m not going back. Besides I blew up the door when I came out.
I came out when I was 11! This was 1975 I am the third child of 8 in a very strict Southern Baptist home. Three years I was beat by my Father everyday Mom blamed herself for me being gay till I told her if your the blame then why are not all your kids Gay?. My older brother told everyone and thought it gave him free reign to rape me and sell me to his friends for sex. I was very passive and would do as I was told in fear of being beaten up by my older brother. Three years of pure hell landed a Social Worker at our home cause my older brother thought he was being abused. I was taken out back with her and I spilled my guts and I was removed from the house at 14 yrs. Old and sent to a Catholic Boy's Home, I thought I died and went to heaven. They were truly good to me and sent me to A performing Arts School in Washington D.C. I was pretty much disowned cause my family was "religious" both parents and 3 brothers have passed only 2 sister's talk to me. The scars have healed themselves yet the heart pain lingers. I went through 3 very brutal relationships till I met the right guy and after 8 incredible years he passed away at our home from pancreatic cancer in 2014. Life is a journey that is for sure! Thanks for listening
I hope you are more settled mentally and have found a partner that makes you happy