Why don't our Scholars talk about this more.He is so accurate in describing wht one goes on in a narcissistic marriage. I have lived with covert narc for 33 years and never have i heard any Islamic perspective about this.
Salam. You have heard of this, but in Quran it does not label it as narcissist. The explanation of human behavior such as greed and lies are the grounds of the base of the issue.
I wish scholars will talk more about that issue because this is a very controversial subject and it is prevalent. People like in my case my own mother, deliberately destroyed my life and drew a wedge between me and my siblings and made me what is known as the scapegoat and guess what? They still use the religion to justify this and command you to still not to disobey your parent. “ she is your mother and your jannah is on the feet of your mother” they use religion as a weapon to get away with this destructive behavior.
i just have divorced with my narcissistic wife... My life was hell ..... i was on the verge of dying . suffering from anxiety ,depression and panic attacks 😢
Brother, I too have an NPD wife. Did you have children with her before you divorce? I have a 4yo child and I just can't afford for a divorce because of our child.
Lets pray for those who r dealing with narcissitic people. May Allah give patient, strenght, wisdom, and protection to all the victim. O Allah who knows better our struggles n the real situation, If this problem is a test to improve ouself, may Allah increase our position in jannah, if not, please forgive us from our past,present, n future sins. Aminn.
I can’t cut off my siblings sadly particularly oldest two. Breaking kinshi p is such a sin I could end up in hell. But I can be within my rights and have minimal contact ;)
I have lived 20+years in this situation. Trying to remain patient and making dua for a way out from my pain. JazzakumAllah khairan for this video because I have never found an Islamic prospective on this issue. Our sheikhs do not give us a divorce because this abuse leaves no physical evidence. It is unjust. Why are woman expected to be patient and are made to feel guilt when they finally break and can't be silent any longer 😭💔
You have a duty towards yourself and your kids , shuyookh who tell you dont divorce dont have a clue. Only you can decide if you can continue living in the abuse or get out of it . Dont let others decide for you , ask Allah to help you
My narcissist ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah. Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children. He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah. Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband. Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible.....
If you have left the narcissist, u did good. Forgive, heal, let go and do your best for yourself. Build your imaan, your life and move on from it. Allah gave you this trial for a reason, you have learned so much and grown in so many ways. May Allah bless you ❤
Sisters who are victim of this please please understand you can't change anything of him. But you can set boundaries, keep away from discussing anything with them, avoid arguing with them, In case you can't have divorce, BUT if you can khulaa that's better for you.
I have a friend who has N father and codependent mother. She never fight with her N husband. She just be patient now their marriage is already 30years. But because she never protect their children, they have tremendous mental issues.. at least what u can do is fight for your children. If u as a partner want to endure, its your problem. But when there kids involved, u must be very careful
@@farwamohd8673same sister, for 18 years crying badly and waiting for miracle to happen by Allah's mercy who is controller of hearts as well may he give hidayah...people say narc don't change but Infront of Allah's s mercy every thing can change
Finally an open 'conversation'... narcissistic behaviour is abuse on ALL levels, be it spiritual, physical or mental...and then the parents conveniently hear no evil, and see no evil... that in itself is EVIL !!! Thinking they are doing the right thing culturally and islamically.... when in reality they are just uncaring and ignorant ... thus giving them a free pass not to support their child in their time of need....
I feel exactly like this.. I've been struggling for the last 15 years to find a place in my family... I have a narcissistic younger sister who has done every thing to make me look bad.. I have no relation ship with my mum.. She takes over and my mum is more than happy with it.. My mum has hardly made an effort with me.. Never been nywhere with me in 15 years yet manages to go everywhere else with my sisters.. I feel soo alone, u derrvalued and unappreciated... I get told its all in my head,, I. Over sensitive, I'm I grateful, I complain. Too much... All I want is for my family to see me and value me like they do each other... Its got to the point where I am thinking thee must be something wrong with me as it can't be all of them....
Am married to a narcisist but I can't ket him go here keeps hurting me each and every time he gets a chance, i went for a seminar he wanna divorce me coz of it 😢😢😢
Nah, they wont change. Been married to a malignant narcissist for 8 years. Being played, used, abused over & over again. No more. Just filed a divorce, broke but determined to be free. I know the best way to heal is to forgive but I am too much in pain to forgive. I will claim this on Judgement Day in front of Allah I hope karma will bite them good. Real good
Sorry what you went through I know the feeling but In Islam there is no such thing as karma that's not. Islamic concept it's a kuffar concept of another religion
But in Islam we have kifarah. what you give you'll get back.if you are good, good will come to you, and vice versa, for Allah (SWT) is fair. When someone wrongs you, be patient, for Allah (SWT) has plans for them too you know.
SubhahAllah! So grateful to come across this video. Narcissism is so wide spread and such a taboo that it is being hidden under a rug. NO muslim scholar addresses it, esp when it has to do with parents. I am so glad that you are breaking this wall. May Allah reward you and your family for this immense strength that you have showed. Healing others is serving humanity! I am a victim too and in my quest to find answers, I have instead found God. It is easier to find Allah Subhana Wa Tallah, than to find answers. I encourage all my muslim brothers and sisters to try. Jazak Allah!
Our scholars really need to address this. Every word you said it’s exactly how so many victims suffered. You nailed it. I am so happy you came out and spoke about it. We really need support groups. These victims are so stuck and a solution for narcissism.
Read the Holy Qurʾān carefully and let us know what laws Allah SWT has given to curtail and punish Fathers, Husbands, Brothers Mothers who are cruel manipulative narcissists.
Subhan’Allah!! I’m so thankful that I came across this video, especially when the brother said ‘run’. I had to give my husband of 22 years an ultimatum as he was engaging in an emotional affair which he would not give up. This is when his ‘mask’ fell off and he became a disgusting tyrant. Only Allah can change their hearts 😔
Alhamdulillah finally someone in the Muslim community who is tackling a very serious issue that happens a lot with Pakistani guys in particular who get seriously spoiled by their mothers and that is the main problem why they became narcs. My best friend of 30 years is a narc and I ended up removing him out of my life. Yes they are very manipulative, devious and play too many games. I've tried to help him for 10 years but in the end he didn't change and got a lot worse so I got rid of him completely.
@@angelfish6184 I'm fully aware that narcs are everywhere but barely any Islamic scholar discuss this huge problem in the Muslim community. I commend this brother for speaking out about this major issue
The person is right, it's the mother's they spoil their sons and then they feel a self sense of entitlement and this why they became narcissistic and it's in other cultures as well. The mother's should treat their sons like a normal person so they won't be narcissistic. I hate people who thinks they are the best in this world and who lack empathy.
@@SgdhHshd-d3h Unfortunately, there are many Pakistani men have this issue of sense of entitlement after being spoiled badly by their mothers. Many have this superiority attitude using Islam to dominate and blackmail their wives - they are disgusting people with nothing inside of them. It is a sad reality but I have to speak the truth in a way many Pakistani men behave
A narc can become a narc because his/her parent/parents were narcs. A victim also comes from a family with narc/narcs in many cases. It's a complicated issue of our time. The main focus should be on trying to stop this from growing. In today's society the individual has become the focus while also living our lives behind closed doors (detached physically). These are all ingrediënts for narcs. May Allah protect us from eachother and ourselves.
Crying my broken heart out, all this is true may Allah bless you and all the victims may Allah give the narcissists tawfiq to change and protect humanity from this Ameen
Allahmdulilah for this talk. It’s so hard when the narcissist is your mom and you still want to follow Allah’s word to respect, care, cherish and be there for your mother. Very conflicting and draining.
I’ve gone no contact with my narc mother I believe I sin more when I’m in contact with her, she mentally emotionally drains me, she will only acknowledge me if I give her money then minutes later she’ll say other peoples kids do a b c you didn’t do nothing here. She even said god favoured her as she made dua Allah to give me disabled child & now I have an autistic child she thinks Allah favours her more than me- little does the narc know my every effort & care towards my child is amplified in reward with my lord Allah. I’m very lonely & sad at times but I’m still grateful for life, but lack of mental support can be really hard for me sometimes.
@@raznabegum5847 I wish I had done that 24 years ago with both narc parents and narc siblings. You are right and it has happened to me because they drain you out so much, you have no energy to worship Allah(SWT) let alone do other stuff. My narc parents and narc siblings had a sick love for money throughout. She even shouted at me once money talks, because I am not like them.
Jazak Allaho khayran for this video. Our scholars really need to speak and make people aware of how dangerous narcissistic are especially those who hide behind religion. Alhamdulillah, I manage to get rid of my ex after 23 years marriage. Much respect to you sir.
Thank you so much brother, for this talk. Only people who have gone through this type of abuse can relate. Being patient and forgiving does not get you to a better place with these individuals. Instead, your forgiveness is their free pass to cross more and more bounderies. They get worse as they get older and harm those most close to them, because they feel they can get away with their destructive behaviors.
You are so right sister. I was so patient with my husband’s abuse and emotional infidelity, crying for months and feeling physically sick too. That’s when I realised I had to stand up for myself...he left myself and our children, it’s been 4 months and he’s still in contact with the vile woman he’s obsessed with, I think she’s a Narcissist too. They are evil people, Subhan’Allah. May Allah protect us from these toxic people...Ameen
@Shamim Temour let her have him sis, she done you a favour. These fools are just tangled in lust & shytan has adorned sin as pleasure- in time this will wear off & both losers will start playing elsewhere - let's just hope she bails on him before he does. U hold ur head high & love ur self a little better, treat urself, do extra self care, sleep early. U deserve good man (here or the hereafter), he was trash & the trash took itself out. Don't miss the false him. Stay blessed x
You are so so true . I have gone through exactly the same with the exact cycle of abuse as you have described. Alhamdulillah I am staying away from him, but he is held me hanging out in society. This too shall pass.
Masya Allah for 40 years I am dealing with a false self wife..having double image..play victim and cheating behind my back..jazakallah this is the first time I hear from my brother muslim..keep telling the society!
Aslm, I'm currently in a marriage of 20 years, listening to several videos including yours, and the advise of many of my psychologists I'm definitely married to a narcissist. We've been for counseling and I've always seemed to be the problem. I've approached my brothers, but they're not interested, I've approached our local imam's nobody's willing to help, I've approached mjc for a fasagh but no replies or no outcome yet, meanwhile my eldest son has left, my other two are also seeing psychologists. My parents are no longer alive, I have no one else to approach for help. I'm working, and paying 3/4 of the household necessaties, but still I'm seen as a bad wife. I'm glad you mentioned that some of them where thoubs and long beards and go to mosque all day, therefore our local imam refuses to even listen to me....i have no where else to go...... What can I do??
Thankyou for bringing this to light! Many women including myself have suffered in these types of marriages and unable to understand their spouses abusive behaviour. This subject should be talked about in mosques and not brushed aside.
It has been absolutely soothing to my heart to have listened to this today. The astounding heaviness of multiple types of abuse by narcissistic Muslims is so widespread and also so silenced. Alhumduhlillah this has been amazing to listen to, I appreciate this video very much and the work you are doing. May Allah be pleased.
I have a narcissistic husband who is on another level. He shows everyone that he doesn't have any problems but it's me who doesn't recognise the freedom he has given me. He questions everything I do everyone I speak to, he wants to know what we spoke about. Then he manipulates everything I say and interprets it to how he wants to and has me questioning myself.
Are you still with him . I'm married to man who is muslim that believes he is perfect and that he can't do anything wrong . What do you do in such a case
I’m a revert and got married to an evil narcissist:( Worst day of my life ! 12 years later - I can’t get away He’s destroyed me !! My Duas with Allah azzawaljal
It is important, as brother Zuhair mentions, to remember that narcissistic behaviour roots from trauma experienced by the narcissist. This person needs to heal and i pray they heal in sha Allah. However, they may not be willing to heal that by accepting they are narcissistic because of the very fact they are narcissistic.
Thank you so much brother Zuhair for covering this very sensitive subject , unfortunatley our culture is full of narcissts, who have little to no idea about what suffering they have put another through...The victim not only sufferers from the narcisst but also from external family who close their eyes, ears and their minds to what is happening...Leaving the victim to suffer unending misery and pain..
AoA! Same here sister.... But, in these years of misery, I have learnt a lot about Narcissism and have written my knowledge and experience in Urdu to share with my other countrymen.
@@sheenscorner1624 Wasalaam...SubhaanAllah, this is so important for us as a Nation n culture to see how our behaviours impact the society at large aswell as our immediate surroundings...👌
@@yasminkausar5186 Only people with a healthy conscience can introspect and realize that. Unfortunately, Narcs are the exact opposite of it. They never realize and will never admit to doing any wrong. Instead, they behave like they are "god-sent" and are a "gift" to humanity. They believe that people around them should be grateful to them and hold them in high esteem. Sigh!
@@sheenscorner1624 ...Agree with every point:)!...This is long overdue, so grateful for brother Zuhair for bringing this into the open...Though we cannot change the Narc, we can learn how not to get tangled up in their mindgames and disempower ourselves..
Ameen to all your dua’s, May Allah bless you khair and aafiyah for all the hard work you’re doing.. Alhamdulillah I’m so glad I came across your video, And I’m in exactly this position, been married 37 years, but this personality has come about around when his brother died, it feels like some insecurities he has, so by controlling me, his wife , to stay in the house, not to call my family, although,I can call when he’s not around,tried to to take all the car keys, so that I can’t drive… I am still with him and willing to give him a chance. Of course he doesn’t accept these qualities he has, everybody but himself are wrong.. good piece of advice .. may Allah bless you and your family.. request for dua’s..
I feel sorry for myself for not knowing about it earlier. Every word of you looks like you are narrating my feelings my story... Living wth a narcissistic husbnd Wallah hi everything is true to its core Alhamdolilah for listening to this
We have to forgive ourselves for not knowing, it was the duty of our care takers & not many know but it’s our job now to educate our babies, god forbid they go into face these evil shitbags
SubhanAllah! I want to spill my heart out but Allah swt knows and that should be enough.. So i really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video and i hope that every muslim and muslima suffering from this in any kind of way sees your video and knows they are not alone and should do something about the situation instead of thinking the right way is to have sabr and waiting for the next world.. NO! Like you said.. Children suffer from this and its going from generation to generation! Children are our amanah, subhanAllah! How can we be so fooled and think we just have to have sabr instead of knowing our relegion and knowing what our obligations are towards Allah swt, towards ourselves, our children and everyone around us. When your environment is sick how can you reach purity, subhanAllah! Just like the shaytaan tries to Come between husband and wife.. I think that when a marriage is toxic, the shaytaan wants us to stay together because he knows the outcome of that. Allahoe a3lem! May Allah swt forgive me and everyone for speaking something that isnt true ore hurting someone unintentionally etc.. May Allah swt forgive uss al and guide us to the straight path and Jenna! Ameen!❤
thank you, I was told that in islam there’s no narcissism or any other mental abuse as that, so I questioned my experience a lot. thank you so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@AafiyahHealing most people do not understand that ayat, once a person is a Muslim they must obey Allah that's a order from Allah so there is no compulsion in religion is you can't force a person to be Muslim that is what that means.
Oh brother u give me faith back in my religion, I’ve been denied so much that I started hate towards the deem because my husband narc & family & others hide behind it & no one sees or believes a word
Victims' healing should be placed on a way higher priority list than any narcissist. And so long as the victim isn't 100% healed and restored, the narc shouldn't be healed, either.
Jazak Allah Gheir!! Alghamdulilaah 🤲 for your channel for muslims especially woman,my ex made me believe he is such a piuos person, make salaah 5times a day, recite Quran, went on Ghadj, all holier in Ramadan.. in the meantime he was cheating, lying, manipulating, gaslight, mind games the time.. i came to a point where i was questioning my own sanity,but then i would think something must be wrong with me, the more i humble myself the more he used me, mental abuse..Alghamdulilaah when we send me Talaq paper he got married within less than 2months with a woman that he been having affair with in his first marriage and then in our marriage.. she told me he made a mistake in married me, he was suppose to marry her, Alghamdulilaah im happy for her, he cheated with so many woman in his first marriage and second.. Alghamdulilaah i am at peace, i leave him in Allahs ✋️
Without fail, this amazing religion always has an answer & solution. So thankful for this as are the many others who find their way here I’m sure. Ppl develop illnesses, lose their iman as sheik says, and contemplate taking their lives over this type of abuse. Always search for an answer in the deen as it is vast ♥️Alhamdulillah ☪️
I've been in a narcissistic relationship for years, I've tried to be the dutifully child but no more, am testing waters of retaliation and maybe disconnecting, cause the trauma is destroying my life. I lost my iman for a while, but the fear of fire brought me back.
Hawwa Ahmed Learn as much as you can sister, Learning is very important to help u when your going through narcissistic abuse, Some good channels about narcissism are -" Understanding narcissists" by Scott Bassett -"from surviving to thriving" Also seek Gods help, Inshallah kheir.
Thank you for being honest brother. Narcissism is becoming an Epidemic in today’s world no doubt & is the root cause of many family feuds and breakups esp. divorces. You have approached this subject with a Fairness that is sadly very hard to find in the Muslim community today - there is a lot of confusion, fear and shame surrounding these issues and that only hurts the victims more - an open and meaningful discussion is necessary to overcome these hurdles otherwise we will likely remain where we already are. I really appreciate your sincerity and honesty as you reflect on these difficult matters. I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to more meaning discussions such as this one. Thank you again.
Dear brother in faith! Thank you very much for this video. As someone who was married with narcissist I can disagree with you saying its not a spiritual thing. It is! I saw it and sure felt it. This was the reason why I convert to Islam in the first place.
JazakaAllah kheir your lecture todays has had a huge impact in me and May Allah bless you and help those who are suffering from this kind of human being
Great effort, JazakAllah Khair. May Allah (SWT) reward you for your efforts. If I may so, what was missed out was that narcissistic abuse can be enabled by siblings and the Muslim neighbourhood. On the former, we are told in the Quran and every Friday Khutba to be Just i.e. Allah comes first too but siblings tend to still support parents in their emotional abuse, physical abuse and neglect on the trust from Allah(SWT). On the latter, one of the attributes of Narcissists is that they love to do smear campaigns on the Victim. The Muslim neighbourhood rarely use the words "I don't want to know" and are Gossip thirsty without verifying too. Thus the Muslim neighbourhood become enablers instead of stopping the Oppressor as per the teachings of the Quran. In conjunction, the Muslim community do not help the Oppressed rather do gaslighting with ignorant comments and hurting the Victim more - despite teachings to not leave Oppressed alone. In my situation, it was the English folk who followed teachings of the Quran and the few Muslims who initially came to help wanted money in return. A huge regret I went to the Muslim Community for the first time in my life. The other observation is we do not have to actually maintain family ties. A narcissistic family system can be created which can involve physical stalking too. The answer and teaching is to go No Contact with the flying monkey's too so that the Victim can live a happy emotional and spiritual life including healing from the narcissistic abuse. The Victim has to keep boundaries with the enablers too and to not engage with them. In my situation, both narcissistic parents were attracted to me because of my potential and capability - so their sole aim in life has been to destroy me, destroy my dreams and limit my potential including deliberately not letting my marriage happen and now age of 41 - the Muslim community enabled the sins and participated in them to get them on their own records. Most have had the karma and been getting punished as they were warned for not stopping the Oppressors. They have hated my Hifz of the Quran and had no interest how I was to blessed and use to hate me going to the mosque 5 times a day with such a smile. Having lost 10 years of my life with their deception, they only love to Control, imitate, jealousy, envy, curse, evil eye, and use for their needs and then discard and devalue. Also big up their other children and other people's children in front of me. Then try to love bomb and hoover for their needs again - narcissist cycle. The patterns do not ever change as Narcissists can never have self-awareness and surrounded by enablers too. We have to go to the Police like I did and go to Court for a non molestation order to protect ourselves. Ulema's in my town shy away from giving true guidance as per teachings of Islam. If I can leave for good this time having been manipulated too often to forgive etc I hope to set something up to help other Victims including Shelter and provide the right guidance. For the love of Allah(SWT) we forgive but we never forget - no one should even give a 2nd chance to a Narcissist - you will regret it as I did all too often. I would be in a better position than any Imam having survived narcissistic abuse for 28 years now. I am hoping more will rise up too as we are experts are brushing matters under the carpet when the norm is to make ourselves look very religious with the outward appearance. f I may say so Victims need clear advice as per Islam. In the 1st Video it was said to "Run" - and now emphasis on still trying to be kind etc to them. The latter does not work with Narcissists and the Victim can end up putting themselves in a dangerous situation by giving chance after chance. Also, Allah (SWT) does not expect the Victim to suffer in silence as per Quran, but enablers in Muslim neighbourhood can shout ignorant comments such as someone will call you mad for speaking out, or even Muslim worshippers just go mad when they get old. Whilst shouting a palace is waiting for them in Paradise and chilling out with their Wives in the comfort of their own homes. Mufti Menk has covered some of the topic by saying they lose the guardianship and to go to the police. So if the Muslim community plays ignorant the Victim has done their bit a per Islam of being proactive and in sha Allah will get the reward of patience too. Whilst the Muslim community gets the punishment in this life and next as per Islam - "O' you who believe stand firm for Justice" - Allah (SWT) comes first and if you don't stand firm for Justice one has lost their hereafter. I urge all Victims to boot their knowledge by tuning into Dr Ramani's videos on Narcissists and to protect yourselves - our safety and dignity always comes first in Islam. th-cam.com/video/z1JVHyTBAbw/w-d-xo.html - Muslim Scholars would imo shy away from doing such sermons despite desperately needed in the Muslim Community.
Jazak allahu khayr. Also they love reverts especially new reverts who don’t have much knowlegde in lslam yet, they use hadiths and verses of the Quran to manipulate. AND they don’t mind about raising their children, they will care only if it benefits them, uses them for image purposes... subhan Allah
it has probably reached a crisis when you are wishing not to wake up the next day, or wish the person dies, or that you want to do something to them and your Iman is being so affected that you just get through the day. Alhamdulillah, I experienced all of these and now I am disconnected for over a year.
this is my situation, even my imaan is severly affected at some point. everyday waking up is like death. why do i feel like dying but the abuser is just living their life freely, and nothin happens to them. they dont deserve it
Heal by reconnecting with the love of Allah. Gratitude for the blessings you have especially the courage it took you to leave, you are strong, Allah made a way out for you, Allah is merciful. Try to build your iman by listening to reminders, salah, dua, dhikr. You can heal and recover your iman. Dont let this trial take away your islam Allah does not burden you more than you can bare. May Allah bless you ❤
My mother is a narcist. I broke with her. I am a mother also. I have a daughter. She is 10 years old. I can only make dua for her. I do not want to contact her anymore. We never been a family. I am tired and ill because of her. My life was like a hell. It took 40 years of my life. Now I am 46. My ex husband was also a narcist, some girlfriends too. I thought this is normal. I have been raised like that. I want to live my own life and want to focus on myself and my daughter. I want to discover myself, because I do not know who I am. 😓
@@joyfulj1663 What does "defo" mean? I did not understand you. I had EMDR, psychotherapy, cesar therapy. This all helped me a lot. But the most important what helped me is my connection with Allah. It was a test for me. Read soera Fussilet aya 25.
Sheigh shukr for advising us. Im married to a man that had all signs of narsisst i ran away few dsys start on own with my kids nd we are so happy Alhamdulilah. He msgs me he miss me nd he cant start his day or night without me. When i tell him of the things he done he will tell me that my mouth is a problem nd im mad bt he wans to control my money telling me hes my husband nd when i ask my money he would gaslight nd start beating me putting me in the corner nd choak me this has been going on for 2 years i confronted him about his mental illness nd he laugh nd say im mad . Please how do i get over this man i really love hm nd hope Allah give him hidiyah nd help him. Can he change or should i just let it go
I have grownup as a daughter being a victim, but alhmdulillah I am trying to heal myself by detaching myself from XYZ of my family whenever he starts his narcissism
Duas for you hard work siddi and for all the awareness that you do and awareness of narcissism and helping victims aswel as my self duas for you and for all victims/for all ummah
Brother thank you so much for talking about this topic. I have been learning about narcissists bc I was a victim once . As I have learn about this character in trades I find so many Muslim men are very much the same.
Thank you, Imam Zuhair, for this thoughtful reminder on our duties of fairness and objectivity towards our families. I’ve met so many of these types of people, not just in our Islamic groups, but society in general these days-which cause young students and children to have a broken-seeming consciousness, (until some healing is done, by Allah’s mercy).May Allah cure us all as we submit to His Hikmat/Medicines of the Soul. “No compassion and care …manipulations…” are so commonplace in today’s era. May Allah continue to bless and reward you, your wisdom, and family.
What about if your own mother is the narcissist? I’m an adult woman in her early 30s with my own children and I have only now acknowledged my mother’s narcissism. It’s extremely painful and even more in knowing that I have entangled my life so much with hers that I can’t escape. She lives with me. Allah help me.
Thank you for speaking up...may Allah bless you... For being a speaker of truth and light. your words are of a true Muslim 🙏 as it should be....praying and power without good deeds and selfishness...is not a true Muslim or any other kind of religion. 🕊💔 May Allah/God help and protect the victims and give a chance to repent to abusers or who don't see there bad actions...intentionally or unintentionally. Come back to light. 💙
Ameen .. unfortunately and sad to say that there are.more than less... normal concious people.will recognise the harm because the heart and spirit will highlight it..but unfortunately having had alot of experience because they very convincing and by the time you recognise they not willing to genuinely look internally, onces emotions are invested and the hope they will hold themselves accountable.... but have come away with insights.. unfortunately it is a HUGE problem in pur ummah...there are many people that are incredibly valnurable and not able to bounce back, but will say very strong boundaries are needed if its some one one cant totally leave.... a person has to take charge and not feel so bound or made to feel guilty..... many also are not aware that this is a mental personality disorder ( doesnt excuse their action's) These people are incrediblly toxic and strategic, have a very distorted view and delusional... great topic and yes it is energy draining.. hence the description they given as *vampires*.. Thats exacltynwhat they do....do not build you up but tear you down so they can control you...
🌟سبحان الله , your talk is so true , Alhamdulillah you speak from an Islamic perspective…… my experience with a narc spouse has damaged my heart , soul , spirit , mental and physical health …. I am petrified of living in this duniya …. That’s how deep his poison has reached . I survive with my hope in Allahs mercy .
Jazak Allah kheir brother mizaan hassanate for this deep insight on narcisisstic behaviour. Subhanallh your video gives me a lot of understanding. Salam aleikoum.
I’m with a narcissist husband from 39 years wit physical and mental abuse, mind husband is a serial cheater, he has married to a younger woman , and from 6yrs he has separated from me , and kept me hanging, he is not giving rights as a wife but he wants me to do all the duties . No my husband was never traumatised but the opposite he was pampered and validated so much by my mother in law that she put him on the pedestal and praised him so much that he thinks himself as God . I don’t know where to go and what to do at this age of my life . He has just kept me as a caretaker of the house and him , he just wants all the comforts of the house and he does all his aiyashi and I quietly watch this . It’s easy to say run but where??? ???
After six years separated with no intimacy wouldn’t you have to redo your Nikah get hold of a refuge and get help for emotional abuse and they will help you x
Aw i feel for u sister. I pray Allah swt helps u. Why dont u contact this Imam? He hasnt responded to your comment but maybe there is another way to contact him.
How you deal with once very close family members that are narcissistic and are not Muslim? I have talked to my sister for almost 2 years and I told her I love her today because of Allah! 💯✅ she is not Muslim I just hope she change for the better she is way older then me too.. ❤️
Salam dear brother, it is truely good to find your video and and to hear a muslim brother inform about this very important issue. Narcissistic abuse is VERY REAL and to be found on all levels. Mental, emotional and domestic violence have at their root very often individuals with this kind of disposition. I have missed accomplished people on the path taking a stance and talking about these issues and their causes. We need more expert brothers and sisters talking about it. Your explanation and angling with islamic perspective including tazkiyah ,our potential within and healing is SO needed in the muslim community. All put very well mashaAllah. Thank you.
Why don't our Scholars talk about this more.He is so accurate in describing wht one goes on in a narcissistic marriage. I have lived with covert narc for 33 years and never have i heard any Islamic perspective about this.
I wish they will study cases of narcissism in especially in mothers to their children it is destructive to children.
It is definitely a satanic deception to keep the ummah's eyes closed and hearts weak!
Salam. You have heard of this, but in Quran it does not label it as narcissist. The explanation of human behavior such as greed and lies are the grounds of the base of the issue.
@@theworldofjx it’s the most devastating human behavior ever. This behavior is destroying lives and dividing families.
I wish scholars will talk more about that issue because this is a very controversial subject and it is prevalent. People like in my case my own mother, deliberately destroyed my life and drew a wedge between me and my siblings and made me what is known as the scapegoat and guess what? They still use the religion to justify this and command you to still not to disobey your parent. “ she is your mother and your jannah is on the feet of your mother” they use religion as a weapon to get away with this destructive behavior.
i just have divorced with my narcissistic wife... My life was hell ..... i was on the verge of dying . suffering from anxiety ,depression and panic attacks 😢
Brother, I too have an NPD wife. Did you have children with her before you divorce? I have a 4yo child and I just can't afford for a divorce because of our child.
Lets pray for those who r dealing with narcissitic people. May Allah give patient, strenght, wisdom, and protection to all the victim. O Allah who knows better our struggles n the real situation, If this problem is a test to improve ouself, may Allah increase our position in jannah, if not, please forgive us from our past,present, n future sins. Aminn.
Aamiin
Aamin
Ameen
Ameen
Ameen
My father was a narcissist and he died a terrible death . God is Great
The victims may end up having their hearts hardened from the amount of silent abuse they endure..May Allah soften our hearts for HIS sake.
Ameen
Ameen 😞
Much respect to you sir ..narcissists get worse as they get older they pure evil people they will never admit they are wrong
Narcissists are the darkness of this world
I concur😢
yea, true, when we got married, she was nice to me, but as she got older and became more successful, it got worse and worse
They do
Never!
I divorced my narc spouse and came out of this toxicity. I made the best decision in my life Alhamdulillah
I can’t cut off my siblings sadly particularly oldest two. Breaking kinshi p is such a sin I could end up in hell. But I can be within my rights and have minimal contact ;)
I left the narc husband too, he caused too much chaos in my children life and my life. He tried to destroy us. He left and divorced. At peace now.
I have lived 20+years in this situation. Trying to remain patient and making dua for a way out from my pain. JazzakumAllah khairan for this video because I have never found an Islamic prospective on this issue. Our sheikhs do not give us a divorce because this abuse leaves no physical evidence. It is unjust. Why are woman expected to be patient and are made to feel guilt when they finally break and can't be silent any longer 😭💔
You have a duty towards yourself and your kids , shuyookh who tell you dont divorce dont have a clue. Only you can decide if you can continue living in the abuse or get out of it . Dont let others decide for you , ask Allah to help you
Muslim Queen run I did you are worth as much as he is , it won’t get better break free and heal x
My narcissist ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible.....
I am married to a covert narc for 40yrs. Finally decided to leave.
@@fayceedat670 I can completely relate and the covert narcassist is so difficult to escape from
If you have left the narcissist, u did good. Forgive, heal, let go and do your best for yourself. Build your imaan, your life and move on from it. Allah gave you this trial for a reason, you have learned so much and grown in so many ways. May Allah bless you ❤
Sisters who are victim of this please please understand you can't change anything of him. But you can set boundaries, keep away from discussing anything with them, avoid arguing with them, In case you can't have divorce, BUT if you can khulaa that's better for you.
I have a friend who has N father and codependent mother. She never fight with her N husband. She just be patient now their marriage is already 30years. But because she never protect their children, they have tremendous mental issues.. at least what u can do is fight for your children. If u as a partner want to endure, its your problem. But when there kids involved, u must be very careful
Many people watching this video are victims and not the perpetrators. So true.
May Allah help us all
I am crying.... it hurts so bad to suffer this way. I don't have courage but I always pray to Allah for His Guidence.
Ameen.
Ameen
Ameen
Same here . Me too crying right now a victim since 18 yrs
@@farwamohd8673same sister, for 18 years crying badly and waiting for miracle to happen by Allah's mercy who is controller of hearts as well may he give hidayah...people say narc don't change but Infront of Allah's s mercy every thing can change
Finally an open 'conversation'... narcissistic behaviour is abuse on ALL levels, be it spiritual, physical or mental...and then the parents conveniently hear no evil, and see no evil... that in itself is EVIL !!!
Thinking they are doing the right thing culturally and islamically.... when in reality they are just uncaring and ignorant ... thus giving them a free pass not to support their child in their time of need....
I feel exactly like this.. I've been struggling for the last 15 years to find a place in my family... I have a narcissistic younger sister who has done every thing to make me look bad.. I have no relation ship with my mum.. She takes over and my mum is more than happy with it.. My mum has hardly made an effort with me.. Never been nywhere with me in 15 years yet manages to go everywhere else with my sisters.. I feel soo alone, u derrvalued and unappreciated... I get told its all in my head,, I. Over sensitive, I'm I grateful, I complain. Too much... All I want is for my family to see me and value me like they do each other... Its got to the point where I am thinking thee must be something wrong with me as it can't be all of them....
@@ayrdsjdue1251 nothing wrong with you, it’s their wickedness!!!
You just described my husband! He has made my life a living hell for 21 years i was 15 now im 35 my youth was wasted with misery
Am married to a narcisist but I can't ket him go here keeps hurting me each and every time he gets a chance, i went for a seminar he wanna divorce me coz of it 😢😢😢
Nah, they wont change. Been married to a malignant narcissist for 8 years. Being played, used, abused over & over again. No more. Just filed a divorce, broke but determined to be free. I know the best way to heal is to forgive but I am too much in pain to forgive. I will claim this on Judgement Day in front of Allah
I hope karma will bite them good. Real good
Sorry what you went through I know the feeling but In Islam there is no such thing as karma that's not. Islamic concept it's a kuffar concept of another religion
But in Islam we have kifarah. what you give you'll get back.if you are good, good will come to you, and vice versa, for Allah (SWT) is fair. When someone wrongs you, be patient, for Allah (SWT) has plans for them too you know.
So happy someone spoke about this from an Islamic point of view.
Me to
My father and husband was narcissist.I know them very well..Allah save people from them..
SubhahAllah! So grateful to come across this video. Narcissism is so wide spread and such a taboo that it is being hidden under a rug. NO muslim scholar addresses it, esp when it has to do with parents. I am so glad that you are breaking this wall. May Allah reward you and your family for this immense strength that you have showed. Healing others is serving humanity! I am a victim too and in my quest to find answers, I have instead found God. It is easier to find Allah Subhana Wa Tallah, than to find answers. I encourage all my muslim brothers and sisters to try. Jazak Allah!
Our scholars really need to address this. Every word you said it’s exactly how so many victims suffered. You nailed it. I am so happy you came out and spoke about it. We really need support groups. These victims are so stuck and a solution for narcissism.
AoA! Yes, we need to spread knowledge about Narcissism, especially in our native languages.
Read the Holy Qurʾān carefully and let us know what laws Allah SWT has given to curtail and punish Fathers, Husbands, Brothers Mothers who are cruel manipulative narcissists.
Islam needs to be reform and reorganise because is the highest problem in the world now
@@gnsmiracle4095 no reform and Islam not the problem it's people like you
Subhan’Allah!!
I’m so thankful that I came across this video, especially when the brother said ‘run’. I had to give my husband of 22 years an ultimatum as he was engaging in an emotional affair which he would not give up. This is when his ‘mask’ fell off and he became a disgusting tyrant.
Only Allah can change their hearts 😔
Alhamdulillah finally someone in the Muslim community who is tackling a very serious issue that happens a lot with Pakistani guys in particular who get seriously spoiled by their mothers and that is the main problem why they became narcs. My best friend of 30 years is a narc and I ended up removing him out of my life. Yes they are very manipulative, devious and play too many games. I've tried to help him for 10 years but in the end he didn't change and got a lot worse so I got rid of him completely.
Narcs are all over the world. It's like covid pandemic, only the infected ones know the pain, have a tour in hell even they arent dead yet
@@angelfish6184 I'm fully aware that narcs are everywhere but barely any Islamic scholar discuss this huge problem in the Muslim community. I commend this brother for speaking out about this major issue
@You me Yes they are
The person is right, it's the mother's they spoil their sons and then they feel a self sense of entitlement and this why they became narcissistic and it's in other cultures as well.
The mother's should treat their sons like a normal person so they won't be narcissistic. I hate people who thinks they are the best in this world and who lack empathy.
@@SgdhHshd-d3h Unfortunately, there are many Pakistani men have this issue of sense of entitlement after being spoiled badly by their mothers. Many have this superiority attitude using Islam to dominate and blackmail their wives - they are disgusting people with nothing inside of them. It is a sad reality but I have to speak the truth in a way many Pakistani men behave
A narc can become a narc because his/her parent/parents were narcs. A victim also comes from a family with narc/narcs in many cases. It's a complicated issue of our time. The main focus should be on trying to stop this from growing. In today's society the individual has become the focus while also living our lives behind closed doors (detached physically). These are all ingrediënts for narcs.
May Allah protect us from eachother and ourselves.
Crying my broken heart out, all this is true may Allah bless you and all the victims may Allah give the narcissists tawfiq to change and protect humanity from this Ameen
my brother you just spoke my life
Am soo in love with this Sheikh.
Its not easy at all
Its soo common among muslim ummah.
Am ready to help in any way that i can help the society
Allahmdulilah for this talk. It’s so hard when the narcissist is your mom and you still want to follow Allah’s word to respect, care, cherish and be there for your mother. Very conflicting and draining.
I’ve gone no contact with my narc mother I believe I sin more when I’m in contact with her, she mentally emotionally drains me, she will only acknowledge me if I give her money then minutes later she’ll say other peoples kids do a b c you didn’t do nothing here. She even said god favoured her as she made dua Allah to give me disabled child & now I have an autistic child she thinks Allah favours her more than me- little does the narc know my every effort & care towards my child is amplified in reward with my lord Allah. I’m very lonely & sad at times but I’m still grateful for life, but lack of mental support can be really hard for me sometimes.
@@raznabegum5847 I wish I had done that 24 years ago with both narc parents and narc siblings. You are right and it has happened to me because they drain you out so much, you have no energy to worship Allah(SWT) let alone do other stuff. My narc parents and narc siblings had a sick love for money throughout. She even shouted at me once money talks, because I am not like them.
Jazak Allaho khayran for this video. Our scholars really need to speak and make people aware of how dangerous narcissistic are especially those who hide behind religion. Alhamdulillah, I
manage to get rid of my ex after 23 years marriage. Much respect to you sir.
So a narcissist does spiritual abuse by using the religion.
Some scholars are narcissistic themselves
Thank you so much brother, for this talk. Only people who have gone through this type of abuse can relate. Being patient and forgiving does not get you to a better place with these individuals. Instead, your forgiveness is their free pass to cross more and more bounderies. They get worse as they get older and harm those most close to them, because they feel they can get away with their destructive behaviors.
You are so right sister. I was so patient with my husband’s abuse and emotional infidelity, crying for months and feeling physically sick too. That’s when I realised I had to stand up for myself...he left myself and our children, it’s been 4 months and he’s still in contact with the vile woman he’s obsessed with, I think she’s a Narcissist too. They are evil people, Subhan’Allah. May Allah protect us from these toxic people...Ameen
@Shamim Temour let her have him sis, she done you a favour. These fools are just tangled in lust & shytan has adorned sin as pleasure- in time this will wear off & both losers will start playing elsewhere - let's just hope she bails on him before he does. U hold ur head high & love ur self a little better, treat urself, do extra self care, sleep early. U deserve good man (here or the hereafter), he was trash & the trash took itself out. Don't miss the false him. Stay blessed x
You are so so true . I have gone through exactly the same with the exact cycle of abuse as you have described. Alhamdulillah I am staying away from him, but he is held me hanging out in society. This too shall pass.
Mee too
Masya Allah for 40 years I am dealing with a false self wife..having double image..play victim and cheating behind my back..jazakallah this is the first time I hear from my brother muslim..keep telling the society!
Aslm, I'm currently in a marriage of 20 years, listening to several videos including yours, and the advise of many of my psychologists I'm definitely married to a narcissist. We've been for counseling and I've always seemed to be the problem. I've approached my brothers, but they're not interested, I've approached our local imam's nobody's willing to help, I've approached mjc for a fasagh but no replies or no outcome yet, meanwhile my eldest son has left, my other two are also seeing psychologists. My parents are no longer alive, I have no one else to approach for help. I'm working, and paying 3/4 of the household necessaties, but still I'm seen as a bad wife. I'm glad you mentioned that some of them where thoubs and long beards and go to mosque all day, therefore our local imam refuses to even listen to me....i have no where else to go...... What can I do??
Go to couple counselling. Try find it online. Wallahua'lam
I am so with you sister 😢😢😢
Thank you brother 🙏🙏🙏 I am going through this for last 27 years finally I got courage to leave.
Thankyou for bringing this to light! Many women including myself have suffered in these types of marriages and unable to understand their spouses abusive behaviour.
This subject should be talked about in mosques and not brushed aside.
Finally someone addressing NPD narcissistic personality disorder
JazaakAllah
Thank you, finally someone speaks out the truth!
We need more discussions on this topic,
I pray from my entire soul for Allah to reward this man in every way.
ما شاء الله
It has been absolutely soothing to my heart to have listened to this today. The astounding heaviness of multiple types of abuse by narcissistic Muslims is so widespread and also so silenced. Alhumduhlillah this has been amazing to listen to, I appreciate this video very much and the work you are doing. May Allah be pleased.
JazaakAllah Khayr
I have a narcissistic husband who is on another level. He shows everyone that he doesn't have any problems but it's me who doesn't recognise the freedom he has given me. He questions everything I do everyone I speak to, he wants to know what we spoke about. Then he manipulates everything I say and interprets it to how he wants to and has me questioning myself.
Are you still with him . I'm married to man who is muslim that believes he is perfect and that he can't do anything wrong . What do you do in such a case
Aww man there's one to many of these fools 😒
I’m a revert and got married to an evil narcissist:(
Worst day of my life !
12 years later - I can’t get away
He’s destroyed me !!
My Duas with Allah azzawaljal
The Media Lies Against Islam blackmailed to stay :(
Islam does not allow emotional abuse.
Follow the advice of this Imam and "run" taking your kids with you if you have any.
@The Media Lies Against Islam traumabound. Syndrome of stockholm read about that Aminah!
Same here. A revert and got married to a narcissist. 😔
It is important, as brother Zuhair mentions, to remember that narcissistic behaviour roots from trauma experienced by the narcissist. This person needs to heal and i pray they heal in sha Allah. However, they may not be willing to heal that by accepting they are narcissistic because of the very fact they are narcissistic.
Wow finally someone speaks on these predators smh
Married to a covert narcissist for 44yrs. Finally leaving him. They don't change. 😢😢
❤
Allah make it easy
Thank you so much brother Zuhair for covering this very sensitive subject , unfortunatley our culture is full of narcissts, who have little to no idea about what suffering they have put another through...The victim not only sufferers from the narcisst but also from external family who close their eyes, ears and their minds to what is happening...Leaving the victim to suffer unending misery and pain..
AoA! Same here sister.... But, in these years of misery, I have learnt a lot about Narcissism and have written my knowledge and experience in Urdu to share with my other countrymen.
@@sheenscorner1624 Wasalaam...SubhaanAllah, this is so important for us as a Nation n culture to see how our behaviours impact the society at large aswell as our immediate surroundings...👌
@@yasminkausar5186 Only people with a healthy conscience can introspect and realize that. Unfortunately, Narcs are the exact opposite of it. They never realize and will never admit to doing any wrong. Instead, they behave like they are "god-sent" and are a "gift" to humanity. They believe that people around them should be grateful to them and hold them in high esteem. Sigh!
@@sheenscorner1624 ...Agree with every point:)!...This is long overdue, so grateful for brother Zuhair for bringing this into the open...Though we cannot change the Narc, we can learn how not to get tangled up in their mindgames and disempower ourselves..
@@sheenscorner1624 they are arragont and full of pride
Ameen to all your dua’s, May Allah bless you khair and aafiyah for all the hard work you’re doing.. Alhamdulillah I’m so glad I came across your video, And I’m in exactly this position, been married 37 years, but this personality has come about around when his brother died, it feels like some insecurities he has, so by controlling me, his wife , to stay in the house, not to call my family, although,I can call when he’s not around,tried to to take all the car keys, so that I can’t drive… I am still with him and willing to give him a chance. Of course he doesn’t accept these qualities he has, everybody but himself are wrong.. good piece of advice .. may Allah bless you and your family.. request for dua’s..
Yessss a true man realizes what is authentic beliefs
Yes, i wud luv to see tat topic abt child abuse as no1 wants to acknowledge it esp. the older generation...
I feel sorry for myself for not knowing about it earlier.
Every word of you looks like you are narrating my feelings my story...
Living wth a narcissistic husbnd
Wallah hi everything is true to its core
Alhamdolilah for listening to this
Same
Asalaam aleykum sister
Have you contacted any imam for advice/ counselling or even khula ?
Since these people never change
same here :) may Allah protect you and your children :)
Me tooo I wish I knew about this earlier
We have to forgive ourselves for not knowing, it was the duty of our care takers & not many know but it’s our job now to educate our babies, god forbid they go into face these evil shitbags
SubhanAllah! I want to spill my heart out but Allah swt knows and that should be enough.. So i really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video and i hope that every muslim and muslima suffering from this in any kind of way sees your video and knows they are not alone and should do something about the situation instead of thinking the right way is to have sabr and waiting for the next world.. NO! Like you said.. Children suffer from this and its going from generation to generation! Children are our amanah, subhanAllah! How can we be so fooled and think we just have to have sabr instead of knowing our relegion and knowing what our obligations are towards Allah swt, towards ourselves, our children and everyone around us. When your environment is sick how can you reach purity, subhanAllah! Just like the shaytaan tries to Come between husband and wife.. I think that when a marriage is toxic, the shaytaan wants us to stay together because he knows the outcome of that. Allahoe a3lem! May Allah swt forgive me and everyone for speaking something that isnt true ore hurting someone unintentionally etc.. May Allah swt forgive uss al and guide us to the straight path and Jenna! Ameen!❤
thank you, I was told that in islam there’s no narcissism or any other mental abuse as that, so I questioned my experience a lot. thank you so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I don't know what hurts more anymore the abuse or that the abuse is coming from my life partner someone who Allah has made my protecter
There is no compulsion in Deen
@@AafiyahHealing most people do not understand that ayat, once a person is a Muslim they must obey Allah that's a order from Allah so there is no compulsion in religion is you can't force a person to be Muslim that is what that means.
Jazakallah khair for this video.May Allah bless u and ur family.Duas for victims.May Allah protect us
Oh brother u give me faith back in my religion, I’ve been denied so much that I started hate towards the deem because my husband narc & family & others hide behind it & no one sees or believes a word
It's not the deen you need to keep saying that. Islam is a blessing from Allah.
Victims' healing should be placed on a way higher priority list than any narcissist. And so long as the victim isn't 100% healed and restored, the narc shouldn't be healed, either.
Jazak Allah Gheir!! Alghamdulilaah 🤲 for your channel for muslims especially woman,my ex made me believe he is such a piuos person, make salaah 5times a day, recite Quran, went on Ghadj, all holier in Ramadan.. in the meantime he was cheating, lying, manipulating, gaslight, mind games the time.. i came to a point where i was questioning my own sanity,but then i would think something must be wrong with me, the more i humble myself the more he used me, mental abuse..Alghamdulilaah when we send me Talaq paper he got married within less than 2months with a woman that he been having affair with in his first marriage and then in our marriage.. she told me he made a mistake in married me, he was suppose to marry her, Alghamdulilaah im happy for her, he cheated with so many woman in his first marriage and second.. Alghamdulilaah i am at peace, i leave him in Allahs ✋️
subhanAllah same I be been through. Hell. Now I have trauma in my mind and body but I am free and soon will be free from trauma too inshAllah
Without fail, this amazing religion always has an answer & solution. So thankful for this as are the many others who find their way here I’m sure. Ppl develop illnesses, lose their iman as sheik says, and contemplate taking their lives over this type of abuse. Always search for an answer in the deen as it is vast ♥️Alhamdulillah ☪️
I've been in a narcissistic relationship for years, I've tried to be the dutifully child but no more, am testing waters of retaliation and maybe disconnecting, cause the trauma is destroying my life. I lost my iman for a while, but the fear of fire brought me back.
Hawwa Ahmed Learn as much as you can sister, Learning is very important to help u when your going through narcissistic abuse, Some good channels about narcissism are -" Understanding narcissists" by Scott Bassett
-"from surviving to thriving"
Also seek Gods help, Inshallah kheir.
Thank you for being honest brother. Narcissism is becoming an Epidemic in today’s world no doubt & is the root cause of many family feuds and breakups esp. divorces. You have approached this subject with a Fairness that is sadly very hard to find in the Muslim community today - there is a lot of confusion, fear and shame surrounding these issues and that only hurts the victims more - an open and meaningful discussion is necessary to overcome these hurdles otherwise we will likely remain where we already are. I really appreciate your sincerity and honesty as you reflect on these difficult matters. I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to more meaning discussions such as this one. Thank you again.
Dear brother in faith!
Thank you very much for this video. As someone who was married with narcissist I can disagree with you saying its not a spiritual thing. It is! I saw it and sure felt it. This was the reason why I convert to Islam in the first place.
Thank you for your insight. May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen
JazakaAllah kheir your lecture todays has had a huge impact in me and May Allah bless you and help those who are suffering from this kind of human being
Great effort, JazakAllah Khair. May Allah (SWT) reward you for your efforts. If I may so, what was missed out was that narcissistic abuse can be enabled by siblings and the Muslim neighbourhood. On the former, we are told in the Quran and every Friday Khutba to be Just i.e. Allah comes first too but siblings tend to still support parents in their emotional abuse, physical abuse and neglect on the trust from Allah(SWT). On the latter, one of the attributes of Narcissists is that they love to do smear campaigns on the Victim. The Muslim neighbourhood rarely use the words "I don't want to know" and are Gossip thirsty without verifying too. Thus the Muslim neighbourhood become enablers instead of stopping the Oppressor as per the teachings of the Quran. In conjunction, the Muslim community do not help the Oppressed rather do gaslighting with ignorant comments and hurting the Victim more - despite teachings to not leave Oppressed alone. In my situation, it was the English folk who followed teachings of the Quran and the few Muslims who initially came to help wanted money in return. A huge regret I went to the Muslim Community for the first time in my life. The other observation is we do not have to actually maintain family ties. A narcissistic family system can be created which can involve physical stalking too. The answer and teaching is to go No Contact with the flying monkey's too so that the Victim can live a happy emotional and spiritual life including healing from the narcissistic abuse. The Victim has to keep boundaries with the enablers too and to not engage with them. In my situation, both narcissistic parents were attracted to me because of my potential and capability - so their sole aim in life has been to destroy me, destroy my dreams and limit my potential including deliberately not letting my marriage happen and now age of 41 - the Muslim community enabled the sins and participated in them to get them on their own records. Most have had the karma and been getting punished as they were warned for not stopping the Oppressors. They have hated my Hifz of the Quran and had no interest how I was to blessed and use to hate me going to the mosque 5 times a day with such a smile. Having lost 10 years of my life with their deception, they only love to Control, imitate, jealousy, envy, curse, evil eye, and use for their needs and then discard and devalue. Also big up their other children and other people's children in front of me. Then try to love bomb and hoover for their needs again - narcissist cycle. The patterns do not ever change as Narcissists can never have self-awareness and surrounded by enablers too. We have to go to the Police like I did and go to Court for a non molestation order to protect ourselves. Ulema's in my town shy away from giving true guidance as per teachings of Islam. If I can leave for good this time having been manipulated too often to forgive etc I hope to set something up to help other Victims including Shelter and provide the right guidance. For the love of Allah(SWT) we forgive but we never forget - no one should even give a 2nd chance to a Narcissist - you will regret it as I did all too often. I would be in a better position than any Imam having survived narcissistic abuse for 28 years now. I am hoping more will rise up too as we are experts are brushing matters under the carpet when the norm is to make ourselves look very religious with the outward appearance.
f I may say so Victims need clear advice as per Islam. In the 1st Video it was said to "Run" - and now emphasis on still trying to be kind etc to them. The latter does not work with Narcissists and the Victim can end up putting themselves in a dangerous situation by giving chance after chance. Also, Allah (SWT) does not expect the Victim to suffer in silence as per Quran, but enablers in Muslim neighbourhood can shout ignorant comments such as someone will call you mad for speaking out, or even Muslim worshippers just go mad when they get old. Whilst shouting a palace is waiting for them in Paradise and chilling out with their Wives in the comfort of their own homes. Mufti Menk has covered some of the topic by saying they lose the guardianship and to go to the police. So if the Muslim community plays ignorant the Victim has done their bit a per Islam of being proactive and in sha Allah will get the reward of patience too. Whilst the Muslim community gets the punishment in this life and next as per Islam - "O' you who believe stand firm for Justice" - Allah (SWT) comes first and if you don't stand firm for Justice one has lost their hereafter. I urge all Victims to boot their knowledge by tuning into Dr Ramani's videos on Narcissists and to protect yourselves - our safety and dignity always comes first in Islam. th-cam.com/video/z1JVHyTBAbw/w-d-xo.html - Muslim Scholars would imo shy away from doing such sermons despite desperately needed in the Muslim Community.
Finally someone who can speak the truth. Respect to u brother.
May Allah bless you. Run is the best advice a Muslim scholar has given . 🏃♂️
Jazak allahu khayr. Also they love reverts especially new reverts who don’t have much knowlegde in lslam yet, they use hadiths and verses of the Quran to manipulate. AND they don’t mind about raising their children, they will care only if it benefits them, uses them for image purposes... subhan Allah
it has probably reached a crisis when you are wishing not to wake up the next day, or wish the person dies, or that you want to do something to them and your Iman is being so affected that you just get through the day. Alhamdulillah, I experienced all of these and now I am disconnected for over a year.
this is my situation, even my imaan is severly affected at some point.
everyday waking up is like death. why do i feel like dying but the abuser is just living their life freely, and nothin happens to them. they dont deserve it
Heal by reconnecting with the love of Allah. Gratitude for the blessings you have especially the courage it took you to leave, you are strong, Allah made a way out for you, Allah is merciful. Try to build your iman by listening to reminders, salah, dua, dhikr. You can heal and recover your iman. Dont let this trial take away your islam Allah does not burden you more than you can bare. May Allah bless you ❤
Just like any disease, even if there's a cure it is useless if you don't believe u need any treatment. Very scary dealing with this.
My mother is a narcist. I broke with her. I am a mother also. I have a daughter. She is 10 years old.
I can only make dua for her. I do not want to contact her anymore. We never been a family. I am tired and ill because of her. My life was like a hell. It took 40 years of my life. Now I am 46. My ex husband was also a narcist, some girlfriends too. I thought this is normal. I have been raised like that.
I want to live my own life and want to focus on myself and my daughter. I want to discover myself, because I do not know who I am. 😓
Therapy will help and defo be by yourself with your daughter x
@@joyfulj1663 What does "defo" mean? I did not understand you.
I had EMDR, psychotherapy, cesar therapy. This all helped me a lot. But the most important what helped me is my connection with Allah. It was a test for me. Read soera Fussilet aya 25.
@@sevgiaras71 sorry defo means definitely. Yes I would also make a lot of duaa to Allah. İs it your older brother who hurt you?
@@joyfulj1663 my mother, sister and ex husband are narcists.
Jezakul ghayran💞
SubhanAllah, so. on. point.
Signed every single word.
Jazakumullahu khayr!
Really important subject to discuss thank you for talking about it 🙏🏽
Sheigh shukr for advising us. Im married to a man that had all signs of narsisst i ran away few dsys start on own with my kids nd we are so happy Alhamdulilah. He msgs me he miss me nd he cant start his day or night without me. When i tell him of the things he done he will tell me that my mouth is a problem nd im mad bt he wans to control my money telling me hes my husband nd when i ask my money he would gaslight nd start beating me putting me in the corner nd choak me this has been going on for 2 years i confronted him about his mental illness nd he laugh nd say im mad . Please how do i get over this man i really love hm nd hope Allah give him hidiyah nd help him. Can he change or should i just let it go
Jazak Allah khair brother
Thank you so much for this “suffering in silence” speaks to me deeply.
I have grownup as a daughter being a victim, but alhmdulillah I am trying to heal myself by detaching myself from XYZ of my family whenever he starts his narcissism
Duas for you hard work siddi and for all the awareness that you do and awareness of narcissism and helping victims aswel as my self duas for you and for all victims/for all ummah
Brother thank you so much for talking about this topic. I have been learning about narcissists bc I was a victim once . As I have learn about this character in trades I find so many Muslim men are very much the same.
Very inspiring. Jazakallah for sharing
May Allah reward you for this video I am getting out of mine
Thank you, Imam Zuhair, for this thoughtful reminder on our duties of fairness and objectivity towards our families.
I’ve met so many of these types of people, not just in our Islamic groups, but society in general these days-which cause young students and children to have a broken-seeming consciousness, (until some healing is done, by Allah’s mercy).May Allah cure us all as we submit to His Hikmat/Medicines of the Soul.
“No compassion and care …manipulations…” are so commonplace in today’s era. May Allah continue to bless and reward you, your wisdom, and family.
Ameen. JazaakAllah Khayr
What about if your own mother is the narcissist? I’m an adult woman in her early 30s with my own children and I have only now acknowledged my mother’s narcissism. It’s extremely painful and even more in knowing that I have entangled my life so much with hers that I can’t escape. She lives with me. Allah help me.
May Allah make it easy for you!
Amien
May u stay blessed for sharing goodness. Ameen
Thank you too
Thank you for speaking up...may Allah bless you...
For being a speaker of truth and light.
your words are of a true Muslim 🙏 as it should be....praying and power without good deeds and selfishness...is not a true Muslim or any other kind of religion. 🕊💔
May Allah/God help and protect the victims and give a chance to repent to abusers or who don't see there bad actions...intentionally or unintentionally.
Come back to light. 💙
Wat a beautiful lecture iv learnt soooo much from u brother may Allah bless u ameen
Jizakallah sheik b for talking about this
subhan'alllah.
really beneficial.
may Allah protect all the innocent people from such cruel narcissists. aameen 🤍
Allah does not protect anyone even Allah gods could not protect mohanmed from eating poison by a woman he killed her husband
Great Speech, thank you very much!😀👏🌷
Aamiin to all ur du'as & may Allah protect u & ur family & help u in ur work
Precisely conveyed
Ameen .. unfortunately and sad to say that there are.more than less... normal concious people.will recognise the harm because the heart and spirit will highlight it..but unfortunately having had alot of experience because they very convincing and by the time you recognise they not willing to genuinely look internally, onces emotions are invested and the hope they will hold themselves accountable.... but have come away with insights.. unfortunately it is a HUGE problem in pur ummah...there are many people that are incredibly valnurable and not able to bounce back, but will say very strong boundaries are needed if its some one one cant totally leave.... a person has to take charge and not feel so bound or made to feel guilty..... many also are not aware that this is a mental personality disorder ( doesnt excuse their action's) These people are incrediblly toxic and strategic, have a very distorted view and delusional... great topic and yes it is energy draining.. hence the description they given as *vampires*..
Thats exacltynwhat they do....do not build you up but tear you down so they can control you...
🌟سبحان الله , your talk is so true , Alhamdulillah you speak from an Islamic perspective…… my experience with a narc spouse has damaged my heart , soul , spirit , mental and physical health …. I am petrified of living in this duniya …. That’s how deep his poison has reached . I survive with my hope in Allahs mercy .
Well Spoken, brother. SubhanALLAH
Jazak Allahu khairun. Narcissistic abuse from parents, friends and even children also exists.
بارك الله فيك أخي وجزاك الله خير الجزاء
Jazak Allah kheir brother mizaan hassanate for this deep insight on narcisisstic behaviour. Subhanallh your video gives me a lot of understanding. Salam aleikoum.
Maashaa allah this is true 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Alhamdulillah
Thank you so much for the lecture..
An unholy spirit i think the best thing to do is dump the situation and save yourself
These people are attracted to material value which I believe is forbidden in Islam
Agreed. Allah give us brain to think so use it wisely
I am amazed by your knowledge mash Allah! Keep doing these kind of vids🌱
I’m with a narcissist husband from 39 years wit physical and mental abuse, mind husband is a serial cheater, he has married to a younger woman , and from 6yrs he has separated from me , and kept me hanging, he is not giving rights as a wife but he wants me to do all the duties .
No my husband was never traumatised but the opposite he was pampered and validated so much by my mother in law that she put him on the pedestal and praised him so much that he thinks himself as God .
I don’t know where to go and what to do at this age of my life . He has just kept me as a caretaker of the house and him , he just wants all the comforts of the house and he does all his aiyashi and I quietly watch this .
It’s easy to say run but where??? ???
After six years separated with no intimacy wouldn’t you have to redo your Nikah get hold of a refuge and get help for emotional abuse and they will help you x
You csn call the domestic abuse 24 hr helpline, which is confidential.
Free phone 0808 2000 247
Aw i feel for u sister. I pray Allah swt helps u. Why dont u contact this Imam? He hasnt responded to your comment but maybe there is another way to contact him.
Get away from him and ask Allah Azzwajal to help you find the best way out for you and your children.
How you deal with once very close family members that are narcissistic and are not Muslim? I have talked to my sister for almost 2 years and I told her I love her today because of Allah! 💯✅ she is not Muslim I just hope she change for the better she is way older then me too.. ❤️
Salam dear brother, it is truely good to find your video and and to hear a muslim brother inform about this very important issue. Narcissistic abuse is VERY REAL and to be found on all levels. Mental, emotional and domestic violence have at their root very often individuals with this kind of disposition. I have missed accomplished people on the path taking a stance and talking about these issues and their causes. We need more expert brothers and sisters talking about it.
Your explanation and angling with islamic perspective including tazkiyah ,our potential within and healing is SO needed in the muslim community. All put very well mashaAllah. Thank you.