NARCISSISTIC MUSLIM HUSBAND/FIANCE EVERY MUSLIM GIRL SHOULD AVOID
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Asalamualaikum. Today's video is on the topic of marriage and the behaviours and characteristics that narcissistic muslim men in particular tend to display. I hope this serves as a reminder for us sisters to choose our husbands carefully.
This list is from experience and just because a man may have one or two of these traits does not make him a narcissist. The idea is to look for these signs as a whole and make an informed choice when selecting a spouse.
May Allah protect us all from falling into the hands of these who may abuse or harm us, ameen.
If you have any other signs from your experience, please feel free to respectfully share in the comment section so that other sisters can benefit.
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We need to normalize divorcing these type of men instead of shaming women who are trying to protect themselves. I know plenty of women who are married to very toxic men but refuse to leave in fear of being ostracized by their family.
I couldn't agree more.
Sis, yes!
Absolutely 💯
💯
Put Allah swt frist and get out, family cant save from punishment in the grave, day of judgement and hellfire, so leave now!
The problem is we raise our daughters and love our sons, and this huge issue in our community, and when they grow up they have issues, and things I have seen men get away with things are very alarming, and if a woman talks in forbidden things or says her opinion its end of the world in the society.
Exactly
We need to be strong and stand up for our rights. We shouldn’t let men walk over us.
@@cinnamon88 🙌👍
Yup! They treat their sons better than daughters! The sons get away with everything and daughters aren’t even allowed to have opinions.
True
This is so sad. Because it's exactly the story of my father and mother. It breaks my heart every day and I pray for my parents every day.
I hope things gets easier for you and your parents buddy inshallah 🌸
Same here 😞
اللّهم ألِّف بين قلبَيهِما واجعل بينهما مودّة و رحمة برحمة منك و قدرتك ..آمين
Nothing terrifies narcissistic then a intelligent Empthath
Fact .....
Hey sis could you please explain further, it’s an interesting perspective
@@miriams3769 I know right, I also would like a further explanation , I feel like I get what naida is saying but not fully
Agreed, I experienced it first hand. The narc was beside himself. Alhamdulilah. I feel relieved. Allah is sufficient for us.
@@noisyacaster2803 You point out all the games he's playing I think that's what the sister means.
When you point out the games he's playing and you let him know you know exactly what he's trying to do he will back away.
@@lail111 yep , game recognize game
Please do a video on dealing with narcissistic mothers. All I see is "be patient" and "paradise is at her feet". She's ruining my life!
This!!! We need to talk about this more. It's such a struggle!!
Yes!
@@Swed813 I thought the hadith about the feet of the mother was judged to be weak.
My grandmother is like this! 😩 I love her but I don’t love how she behaves! And everyone just says be patient but she’s ruining my uncle’s marriage (it’s his 3rd marriage).
Run 😊
Subhanallah I really needed to watch this video. May Allah grant us spouses that will be the coolness of our eyes
ameen
Ameen
Aameen 🤲🏼
Ameen
Ameen🤲🏾
But sis, some of these men hide their true character until you marry them. And for some women once they are in it’s so hard for them to come out of the marriage.
Very true, I will touch on that in future videos insha’Allah
Take the time to get to know their character before marrying them. We need to stop meeting these males and then marrying them two weeks….one month…three months later. And stop making excuses for him when you see little pieces of his true character.
May Allah reward you for this video.
@@NafisasPearlz please make a video about women who are married to narcissistics brothers and how they can divorce in a lawful way.
@@Mmefatoom problem is that u can never identified until u start to live with them because they can hide things for long time
Narcissistic Husbands are not just bad husbands but terrible fathers
Thanks for this detailed explanation sister, JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR
Very informative sister, I'm seeing so much narcissism online. So glad I have a humble husband, who does good deeds for the sake of Allah, rather than the power tripping we see today.
Alhamdulilah, you are blessed sister. Take good care of him because he's type are getting more and more rare these days. May Allah bless you both more.
@@NafisasPearlz thank you sister may Allah bless you in spreading excellent dawah and advice for sisters, and we are blessed to have a sister whom is strong on her deen, with positive views on life. Its very easy for sisters to be swayed into online westernised hijabi way of life. Not that Im haram police, being a revert I want the best for our sisters, and for them not to fall into the trap of tight hijabs and tight clothing. I nearly fell off my chair when I saw missguided modest wear. You bring a more humble authentic approach to your channel which i find beneficial. I make dua you find a wonderful husband.
Masha'Allah ☝️
MashaAllah sis. Does he have a brother? 😂
@@SummeRain783 So funny🙃🤣
I'm not Muslim but what you said is true. What you mentioned happens across all religions, cultures and traditions. This video speaks to everyone not just Muslims. Thank you. You are a very wise woman. Stay blessed
... across all religions, cultures, traditions and sexes right?
Absolutely correct
@@oppukn9956 just this particular video pertaining to muslimah and Muslim men. Muslims are in dire need of guidance too and shouldn't offend anyone. After all YT has vast amount of content these days . Alhumdulilah for that.
This is a powerful video which deserves so many views and I would say should even be played at halaqas (sister's circles). Unfortunately narcissistic Muslim men are very common in our community and so many women are in toxic marriages but are not aware of it.
Subhanallah, as a brother, this needs to be said! We need these voices!!!
@R Coffee I listened to it all, and found it insightful and interesting.
Great video! Muslim sisters are being lied and tricked into marriages by covert narcissist! Covert narcissist ate evil...
Alot of narcissist fake to love Islam to get Muslim sisters into marriages or polygamy marriages!. Astaghfiullah. Meanwhile they have a good Muslim wife and they themselves are drinking, smoking, going nightclubs, gambling they have secret wives secret girlfriend's and secret children they also have interests and mortgages! Pretending to love Islam. Narcissist after your mother sisters and daughters!
@R Coffee Narcissists know what they do is wrong, and that’s why they go to great lengths to hide their abusive behaviors in public. Narcissistic personality disorder is definitely not enough to be considered legally or Islamically insane. It’s a personality disorder but it doesn’t distort your ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Also, the vast majority of them are unable to change through therapy according to psychologists.
As for living life and making mistakes, everyone does so. That’s why everyone may occasionally hurt their spouse’s feelings. The problem becomes more serious when that person refuses to apologize, does not repent for their actions to Allah, and repeatedly does the same thing without remorse.
The heartbreaking part is that, no matter how much logic you lay out, no matter how softly you speak about how he makes you feel, he will most likely not even understand that what he's doing is gaslighting, manipulating and hurting you. He will always feel like the victim. He will probably feel like YOU are the narcissistic one. Your feelings are never valued over his own. You will always be the one who started it first. "I became this way because back when we got married you disrespected/disobeyed me." And things like "you deserve to be treated this way" are some of the things you might hear at every argument. Name calling, yelling over you, not letting you finish your thoughts, making you in return say hurtful things even though this is not how you ever wanted to have disagreements with your spouse, all because you feel unheard, unloved, un respected and overlooked. By the end of the argument you'll end up doubting yourself because yes, you did say something mean once or twice because you truly were triggered by all of his accusations and horrible name calling. You start to think you were at fault, that you truly probably drove him that far, because he storms out of the house with some belongings, says everything that's wrong in the marriage is because of you and then gives you the silent treatment. Everything he has said and done are forgotten by him and only your reaction is recorded. You start feeling like a bad wife, start forgetting what he has done and said up to this point, for years, that have made you lose love for him little by little. Am I at fault you wonder. It makes you want to reach out to him to show him he's still respected. Maybe if you are exactly how he wants you to be, the opposite of everything he accused you of, he will be happy with you and your marriage will be free of pain. You will give and give and give some more, but the abuse will never stop. He will always find something to be dissatisfied about, to put you down and make you feel like you're the reason for ruining his life. When all along, all you wanted was a sweet husband who loves you, who you love, respectful towards each other even in argument (especially in argument), who communicates and talks things through, who can be your rock and you his, who will help each other in your Deen. But you'll find that with the years, he has broken you. You are not that sweet naive girl from the beginning anymore. Too much has happened and too little of you has been respected. You feel guilty when he accuses you because, you know deep down, you are disappointed in him and your life with him, so you assume he's picking up on that. But because he's so selfish and puts his own emotional needs before yours, he doesn't recognize his fault in that. In his eyes, you are everything that is wrong in his life. You're the reason that he feels like less of a man because you've been battered (emotionally or physically) to the point where, the desire to praise him, or agree with him when he's wrong, has vanished. The narcissist in him can't put himself in your shoes so he blames you for everything. In the meantime, you are killing yourself jumping back and forth from your own shoes to his, feeling guilt ( because you think he must be really hurting if he's acting this way towards you), anger, sadness and emptiness all at the same time and feeling empathetic to his pain while trying to deal with your own.
❤️❤️❤️
Girrrl!!! You are literally describing my father 😭. I feel so bad for my mother everyday and I pray that she will find a better spouse who will treat her properly ❤️ Ameen
@R Coffee don't be condescending.
A child lives with her/his parents, so the child knows for sure. They witness it everyday. She recognizes traits of her father in what the sister says, so....
And its very very toxic. May Allah protect and guide us all, ameen.
و عليكم السلام
امين
This is literally my dad. I'm feeling sick because she hit every single nail on the head like she's been living in our house the last 24 years and seen it with her eyes. It's so heartbeaking 😢💔
Because of my dad I always thought all men were like this and that women in every marriage will be treated like a servant. I never wanted to get married. I'd rather live with my family and live by myself in old age than to put myself through this. I'm a soft hearted and empathetic person and know I will definitely be taken advantage of. What's the point in all this if your going to marry an evil human being
May Allah ta'ala rectify our Affairs Ameen 💞
I definitely agree with you on all these points since I have seen men like this around me.
The thing is some men may be born like this, but many Muslim men develop these traits because of the way they are raised by their parents. It's so unfortunate that parents make it a complex issue where their sons can sit down and control their sisters and even mothers, yet the mother still doesn't change her way of raising her son. Then they grow up with these narcissistic traits and if things go wrong it is their wife's fault.
But for real we as a society need to raise our sons right so all these issues won't arise in the first place.
Also if he abuses you mentally or physically he'll make you believe it's your fault that he abused you
They have a way with words don’t they?
@@SummeRain783 they do, it's scary
Indeed, they know how to abuse you! Astaghfiullah Astaghfiullah Astaghfiullah
Partly, that's why I'm not married.
Indeed
I am the same. I'm 35 and not married. The points u made are the reasons why. I'm also surrounded by unhappy marriages, in particular my own parent's. My father is sucking the life out of my mother, and I can't do anything but be there for her. In turn, they are both sucking the life out of me. But I'm made to feel obligated to be there for them as my siblings are all married and have there own families and I don't. I'm stuck and can't move.
@@farahbhatti1160 Don't get married then, why would women get married to a MAN in the first place, no ones forcing you, you either end up alone or stock up on cat food.
Married to a covert narcissists for 40years. They just get worse with age. Will never change.
You stayed for 40 yrs?
why did you waste your life with him? smh
its never too late to leave. Your life is worth it.
@Love isn't Lust indeed they are the worst, they cover their narcissism really well and they may appear as a shy person and it's scary how they can act so evil most of the time.
Dont ask a women why she didnt leave, she is the victim of extreme abuse. wether women stay or go they are both strong in their own way.
Wouldn't this be amazing to be talked during a khutba? We women know what narcissism is and so many of us have put up with it/are continuing to out up with narcissists, whatever their reasons may be, but I believe it's far more important that men among themselves raise this topic and help each other. Talk about it openly to better their Muslim characteristics. I believe that narcissists have been moulded through their own childhoods and through seeing their own fathers with their mothers. So I feel, more importantly that women understand what narcissist characteristics are, men need to be educated on this matter openly and through religious institutions to better marriages and family life.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Could you perhaps also have a video on the vulnerable narcissist? I find that harder to identify, especially in the context of Islam. The psychological suffering from their "silent treatment" is so difficult to deal with, as is the feeling of constant guilt that are insinuated. It is a more subtle form of narcissism, but no less destructive because it sometimes takes years to figure it out. As a highly empathic person, one easily get caught up in the vulnerable narcissist's 'suffering'. Sometimes this is cloaked in the romantic notion that there is nobody in the world besides the two of us. It seems like closeness, but in fact, it isolates.
I love this! Revert muslims are very prone to this....please make a video specifically for reverts who dont know their religion
every muslim woman needs to watch this.
I so agree with you.
Indeed
السلام عليكم
My dear beloved sister Nafisa جزاك اللهُ خيرًا deeply for addressing this issue. Only ALLAH عز و جل knows how many Muslims are in this situation unknowingly. May ALLAH عز و جل bless your effort Ameen.
Ameen my dearest. I coach sisters so I know that it is unfortunately a common issue. May Allah protect us all.
@@NafisasPearlz absolutely, Allahuma Ameen my dear, May Allah bless your heart ♥️
This is such an important topic to talk about. I'm not Muslim but I was in a relationship with a highly narcissistic man who showed many of these traits, and at the time I was not aware of warning signs to look for. Things that you say here that would apply more to a Muslim man (threatening to take another wife) were just a bit different for him (threatening to cheat on me because I wasn't good enough for him- his words). Fortunately I was able to leave, but I only did so after becoming more aware of what a narcissist is and how they behave.
I have not finished watching but commenting already sis. Let’s help share this video out there because many women already married need to watch this😔🥰🙏🙏🙏
Ma sha Allah, a sister on TH-cam NOT wearing makeup, and fully covered. Jazak Allahu khairen.
It amazes me how men are basically the same despite their religion or cultural background. I'm a latin american christian and this spoke to me on so many levels. That's the same problem that we as christian women face with so called "religious" men in South America.
I feel ya sister
Its not that men are all the same but
U find narcissist like u said in every Religion.
Men are most of the time raised to become leaders...I kinda get that but people get overboard with that and they just make the men feel like they are above women when that's not true .
Unfortunately people see religious men treating women wrong and just conclude that this is Islam or this is christianity.
But our religion honors women and dishonors bad behavior and entitlement
Jazakillahu Khair sister for shedding floodlights on this sinister problem. As a Muslim man, it's so important for us men to recognize this issue and rectify it through checking and re-checking our inflated egos. Unfortunately it is all to common to be raised by fathers like this wihich only furthers the issues through generational trauma. We inherit these traits sometimes knowingly or unknowingly and it really takes a toll on the people closest to us. Narcissitic men can initiate a vicious cycle of abuse to not only their wives, but also their children. These children grow up without learning what it means to be healthy individuals and end up repeating the same behavioural patterns...the following generation then inherits these issues and only worsens. This is why it's EXTREMELY important for all Muslim men to have taqwa. Be concious of Allah! Yes, you have been given a responsibility over women, but don't abuse it! Do you think Allah doesn't see your sick hearts and the pain you inflict on his creation?! You will be held accountable and your womenfolk and children will testify against you on that inevitable Day. You can fool the whole community and everyone around you, but you cannot deceive Allah swa.
Growing up with narcissists I know exactly what to look for but hearing you list it out ugh thanks for this video, so important for us to know the warning signs!!
They are wolves in sheeps clothing.
That's covert narcissistic
Asalaam aleikum Sister, even if you look at their relationship with religion and character, these men can play very smart that they are such great people w religion and have such respectful traits but it’s a sad world for sisters as there are plenty who find out how bad they are after marriage. I am glad the Almighty Allah saved me twice with toxic relationships but now I am scared to even think of marriage.
This is too accurate and true. Abuse really traumatizes people.
Salaam Alaikum sis as a revert this is very informative
Walaikumsalam, glad you found it useful
Narcissist Muslim men love revert sisters!!! Warning
@@JahannamHellfire.
Yes, definitely, because they take advantage of the fact that those who revert are honest in their quest for Islam and in alot of cases alone. So the narcissist comes along acting as "Saviour" 🏃🏿♀️😅
I haven't seen the full vid yet, will soon,
but I was proposed by a man. I said no, I felt like I didn't know him enough, so we still chatted a bit more (halal courtship wise; meeting in public places etc). One night I told him I was going to my university to see my old friends (mixed group), they were filming something. He accused me of meeting and texting men and all these things. I later broke it off because now I definitely know to not be with him. That trust factor has to be there even before marriage, wrongfully accusing someone is a huge sin and slander, the Quran even says there's penalties to that too. Please sisters, once you see even a small red flag, leave. There's also been times where the same man violated boundaries; do not think that if one red flag happens then maybe he'll change or something (like how I did). He will not change (unless he changes the condition of himself, and Allah Subhanna Wat'ala won't change him until he tries to actively change himself - but the basis is, YOU will not change him.) If you see even one red flag or something that violates boundaries etc, leave.
@You me yes - he was projecting that I was doing something when he was most likely doing that - projection is terrible. Astaghfirrullah, thank you for your comment, may Allah Subhanna Wat'ala bless us with trustworthy,righteous spouses
@You me astaghfirrullah, I'm so sorry for all the pain he may have caused you, you will find somebody who won't do that, who will be trustworthy and trust you, in Sha Allah, when your partner acts right it will be beautiful and he will follow Sunnah/Quran correctly, lower his gaze and all, when your partner acts right you will be so so much happier. But for now heal and find happiness in yourself and Allah Subhanna Wat'ala, this is one of the cases where something you lost - you will be given better, assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu ♥️
I didn't know about Narcissist but when you listened to these videos then you know you are married one. It is a emotional rollercoster ride. Subhanallah
So true sis, I can relate to most of your highlighted points.
Narrcis is a term , I was unaware but when I was in relationship few yr back, I came to know about all these phycological terms like compulsive lier, gaslighting etc. but as I am strong enough, I thrown that garbage back to dustbin from where he came.
This is such an eye opener, thanks so much for this, may Almighty Allah continue to increase you in beneficial knowledge.
But, a wife too could be Narcissistic.
I walked out of a Narcissistic marriage about seven months ago, it was such a traumatic experience for me, after spending over four years with him. Though, I do love him but I love myself enough to get out of the marriage cause he was becoming a monster. I had to cut all ties of communications with him, didn't want to give him the room to manipulate and crush my heart again. I hope to find someone better someday.
JazakAllah khair ukhti. I have to say I recognise some traits in myself in this! Not all, but alhamdullilah. Probably as a results of being with a ‘man’ who carries all of these traits to the most dangerous degree.
We should check ourselves too and be careful we don’t pick up on these traits to subconsciously protect ourselves without realising InshaAllah
Not all of us are blessed to have family subhanAllah and you’re right mashaAllah, these characters pray on our vulnerability but as long as we understand that Allah swt is sufficient for us and the best Disposer of our affairs, InshaAllah we will be protected. This is what brought me to Islam subhanAllah.
If it’s welcome, don’t be needy is my advise for those who don’t have family InshaAllah. Understand we came here alone and we go out of this world alone, a good spouse is a bonus InshaAllah
First time i have seen your video's . Glad you are raising awareness. I don't know if you have done any on narcissistic wife , unfortunately there are many of them too. Everybody needs to be aware male and female. I have seen and still dealing with extreme family suffering due to narcissistic personality.
Welcome, this is my first video on the topic. I have not heard much on narcissistic wives, mothers yes definitely but not wives. I am not saying they don’t exist but it’s not often heard of especially since in Islam women are encouraged to be submissive to their husbands so even if there are, they probably don’t get the chance to display their bad behaviour as much. But I will look into it insha’Allah.
Thank you so much for this video, dear sister. This is helpful for me. There is one point though that I wish could be expressed with some differentiation, that point is maintaining contact with family. I agree with that to an extent, as long as there is love, care, compassion and criticism is used constructively and mindfully in the family unit. I was physically, emotionally, verbally and psychologically abused by my parents. I was especially targeted and scapegoated by my father because I'm disabled. It got so bad that I had no choice but to leave and cut ties for good. I do have some friends now who have become my family. What I'm trying to say is is that people who cut ties with family for the sake of safety and well-being shouldn't be shamed or criticized for that. I don't mean this as an accusation, I mention this as expressing my wish for more differentiation when it comes to family ties.
Such discussions filled with such hiqmqh are so very much needed. Jazaakillah khairan Sister. I, like so many, have a story. Allah(swt)'s kept me. I am still here. AlhamduliLah..., we, are still here by the mercy of Allah(swt). InshaAllah please pray for my children and I. The emotional and mental torment are indescribable. He continues. He seemingly won't stop.
InshaAllah be blessed sister.
May Allah ease your affairs sister and grant the best of both worlds. 🤲🏾
Your words are helpful. Man or woman, narcissists are toxic and destructive. Keep clear of them.
This is very good information for me as a brother in Islam for me when I get married
Wow, this is so important to hear. Needs to be spoken about more so jazakallahkhair! May Allah SWT protect and guide us all. Ameen.
Indeed, the initial recording was over an hour long, I cut so much out because I felt people would not watch it all so insha'Allah I will elaborate on certain parts in future videos.
@@NafisasPearlz please do! And look I forward to your video about narcissistic muslim mothers too
Thanks alot for bringing up this issue in Muslim society.. It is the need of hour. Kindly make video on narc parents, how to deal with them while protecting our mental health. My both parents are extremely narcissistic and my life is like a hell on earth. I can't seem to get away from them because of society and no support from anyone.
My ex was Australian Iraqi ! I had to clean cook study law work two jobs to pay all bills while he played video games etc always manipulated threatened me broke furniture etc everything was my fault because I either spoke wrong turned my head in the wrong direction etc I developed ptsd and had panic attacks. His father would say come to me and not police and wouldn’t really do much . Once my daughter was born he wanted a boy didn’t registered her would say it’s the women’s responsibility to look after the baby so I went two months without washing my hair even because he wouldn’t hold her so I could shower! But out in public he would pick her up and take photos . Long story short his dad said was a crime for me to divorce him - we never got married tho just lived together- he locked me in my bedroom took my phone so I couldn’t ask for help he stole all my savings and hit my daughters head when we were trying to leave she was five months old. Anyways I escaped to the neighbours with him threatening to kill me he said your word vs mine no one will believe you. While I was waiting for police the neighbours camera picked up him and his uncle leaving and coming back they hid my money and my phone so when police got there they just didn’t talk to them. There’s a protection order against him but he tells people I just woke up one day and took his daughter ! No one in his family has ever called to see how she’s doing or how I was I left with nothing but pijamas . It’s been a year 🙏
Healing will take time , are you Iraqi as well?
Many Iraqis have problems with their head.
Oh my
you are such a boss sister! I made a video on narcissism in the community a while back but yours is 10x better :D
Such a valuable video -JazakAllah khair.
This has also helped me:-
In your general conversation with the person (respectful dialogue before marriage) ask him what character traits or personal qualities would he like to change about himself?
Generally, narcissists find such a question very difficult to answer (perhaps narcs lack introspection or the ability to critically appraise themselves). In my humble opinion if they struggle with answering such a question, no matter how many times you rephrase it or provide examples...it's a possible red flag.
Also observe his relationship with his siblings, parents, close relatives, colleagues etc. If he struggles with maintaining good relations especially with close family members ...it's a possible red flag. This works both ways by the way, men can also ask such questions to a lady he is considering marriage to...
Jzk for addressing this topic, please cover all aspects of narcissistic family dynamics and family roles and tips to deal with it as a muslim. Many of the tips online are that narcissists should be cut off, but of course in Islam we cannot do that with blood relations (as far as I understand). I've noticed in specific cultures that happen to be Muslim, narcissistic habits are so prevalent and passed down the generations and it is disturbing, Allah SWT describes these traits in the Qur'an as those of people in hellfire. may Allah protect us and guide us on the straight path
Will do insha’Allah
L
@@NafisasPearlz yes please doo!!!!
Yes sis, Do your best and leave the rest to Allah 👌🏻
Management of this problem needs to be addressed in ur next video
Am certainly not muslim but I love your content. Can relate to this.
Continue with your good works
Jazkumallah khaire sis for explain from Islamic perspective its an eye opener, I'm have been in toxic marriage for 10 years almost lost my mind allahmdallah Allah save me to get out and my iman is so weak pls make dua for me xxx
May Allah see you through successfully sister and may Allah replace what you have lost with something better. Allah saved you, that is the ultimate love 💗
@@NafisasPearlz amiin sis 💕💕💕
I have passed through all these and I thank Allah I survived it and left. But it's not easy been with a narcissist husband😢😢😢
Masha Allah sis thanks for the warning, very dangerous people!
Mashallah tabarakallah
You are a great Muslim teacher.
Maybe Allah poured his mercy on you sis and grand you long good healthy life for you to continue informing the Muslim ummah.
You forgot to mention that despite of them shutting your mouth not allowing you talk about issues in the marriage, they have already talked and slandered you around people in his circle. Telling them how bad of a wife you are and you making him doing these things. So basically they manipulate friends in common and family members to make you look bad. I’ve seen it all.
Textbook example right here.
TRUEE!! when my mom was very sick and she needed to have a major surgery ASAP.
My dad instead of helping her or staying by her side and supporting her mentally (since she was only 25 years old diagnosed with an awful disease), he went around telling his friends about how my mom is sick and how he doesn’t want to pay money for her surgery (he wanted to instead use the money to decorate his office I KID YOU NOT).
He also called her names and kept complaining about how she can’t cook/clean for him while she’s RECOVERING FROM A MAJOR SURGERY, he even kept flirting with his female coworkers and looking for a “new wife” that wasn’t sick while my mom was in bed suffering, mind you he had 2 kids with her at that time.😷🤢🤮
Instead of being a good father and a good husband, he made my mom’s illness about himself and how much of a poor victim he is.
He is a disgusting human being!!
As Salaamu Alaikum I just did a very similar video on this very topic!!! I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT RAISING AWARENESS. Muslim Narcissist are running rampant in the U.S. these days. May Allah bless you for the work you do.
great video filled with generalities of Muslim men
helps men know how you women think
There should be a support group for women who have suffered from a narcissist partner...
For online counselling psychotherapy contact psychnowrin@yahoo.com 👍 I am a muslim clinical psychologist offering online counselling
There are many red flags we see but we tend to give them the benefit of doubt. This is why it is important to talk to him so you can get to know him very well. Do not rush into marriage. We have to see how he acts around friends and family. Even look at how he drives, if he has road rage. This is an indication that he has a short fuse. If he tells you what you should wear. Doesn't take into consideration your feelings. If you see that he doesn't do everything in his power to make you feel good and not stress you out. If he doesn't ask you for your opinion on simple and important decisions. As a good wife it's important to know that he is suppose to make you feel good and not stressed out. There are so many red flags you can notice before you marry you just have to pay close attention and look.
Road rage! Great example 👍🏼
Oh my god this is what my dad does to my mum! All those 10 points hit home!! She's been dealing with his behaviour for 24 years and all she says is she wants to stay patient and seek help from Allah.
I never wanted to get married because I thought all men were like this. What's the point of getting married if your going to be like a servant?
But this video has helped me understand that not all men are like this and you need to know what red flags to recognise before falling into it.
I have a question: if you keep meeting narcisst men, and never find a good enough person to marry then what do you do? Is it best not to marry at all? Because I'd rather not put myself through all that and live with my family instead.
Be sure to seek help through therapy because if you are continually attracting narcissits then you need to heal perhaps a childhood wound or simply learn to erect boundaries.
you are just like me , i prefer being single than married with awful man . i wont put my self in abuse , i wont trade my peaceful life with abuse in marriages .
I thank Allah from saving me from almost getting married to my ex fiancé. He has all the qualities you listed above. I guess I dodge a bullet. Alhamdulillah...
AMEEN SISTER..👏You hit the nail on the head. 1 Billion percent right. I wish muslim scholars would really go into depth on these kind of behaviours and give tips and resolutions on how to deal with it .Especially when a narcissistic mother breeds narcissistic children and you end up as the
lucky d.i.l/s.i.l with kids that are now living through that trauma.
Omg my Ex was a narcissist he was awful. Alhumdullilah Allah removed him from my life
Alhamdullilah 🤲🏼
Another thing is that there is different types of narcissit. not all of them are gonna fit the box u mentioned. The overt like you mentioned is easy to spot but the covert, which is more hidden , is super dangerious as well, but its harder to notice their evil doings.
You have described my ex-husband perfectly. He was very different after we were married. Then his true self came out. Luckily I got out of the marriage with both children safely.
Words won’t be able to express my gratitude to u for this video. I will just make sincere dua for you.
Sisters, it is very important that we also remember our rights in Islam, and not conform to modern society that allows women to be okay with revoking our rights. Remember we have the right of accommodation, provision, and we are supposed to be treated honorably/kindly.
I'm saying this because of in the society of bad cultures sometimes sisters turn to zina or dealing with random non-Muslim men instead. Never do this, we should obey Allah and keep away from fahisha. In these times women have to *get* or *convince* their significant other to provide for them, or not mind them staying at home. These are things already ordained as our rights in Islam, and we do not have to conform to today's ways of women settling for men who do not work, or making you do all the work which is physically and mentally taxing.
You are *not* a gold digger because you want someone who is financially stable, for the sahaba men used to make sure they had the funds, or they would not marry. Always remember the conditions of a man. His deen, his character, and his financial stability. Don't throw yourselves into destruction by marrying someone who has no job or house of his own. Even if you work, he may begin to look down upon you or put all his problems on you to the point where you can become his babysitter. If you also have any children its even worse. He could end up being like a second child to you. Watch out for these propagandas that tell us to be okay with providing for our men, or tell us that we shouldn't demand basic provisions or else we are gold-diggers or have internal misogyny.
I highly recommend starting a business if you have children so that you can have your own income.
This video talks about narcissism, which is SO important in today's time. However also, don't turn to the dunya thinking it's better for you. I have first hand seen so many experiences of women being used and abused when they fall into fahisha. And remember the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that the best of you are those who are the best to your women, and to treat women kindly and overlook our faults, and to feed and clothe us.
PLEASE sisters, don't begin to think that the religion is against you or that dunya is better for you. If you find a practicing, well-mannered, kind Muslim man, InshaaAllah, you will be treated *much* better and have way less headache than being in non-halal relationship which may invoke Allah's anger, and also deprive you of the rights we have as women in Islam.
Thank you for your insight and advice sister. May Allah reward you for your good efforts. Much of what you've described matches my ex husband. Although I have some to have a happy marriage with a good Muslim man in the future, from my past experience, I've learned that it is far better to be single than to be in a miserable relationship with someone who devalues you. I feel the longer you stay with such toxic person, the more you'll yourself.
SI meant to say the longer you stay in a toxic relationship the more you'll lose your self. I still hope to be in healthy happy marriage in the future, but I would rather be single than to .marry a narcissist.
@Asiya Z - Spot on! I married a man who turned out to be a Covert Narcissist over the years and I deeply REGRET having married him and more so because my children had to suffer the emotional and psychological abuse with me. I have ZERO desire to remarry now and prefer to stay single and just focus on looking after my kids from now on. Done with this Evil. No one properly warns you (esp. Muslim women) that HALF your Deen can be your Full-Fledged Nightmare! We don’t need Half our Deen - we need 100% of it to protect ourselves from these Devils.
Important topic jazakallah khayr habibtiiii
Waiyakum
Finally! A Muslim on TH-cam speaking of these problematic males!!! Love you beautiful sis!!
The qualities you mentioned could also be equally applied to women as well. May Allah reward you for your efforts.
But then there’s this problem when trying to get divorced, the ladies family threatens her now in this case what should she do? Wallah it can be hard for some to be free from abusive family and then husband. May Allah make is easy
@Someone 333 maybe her condition forced her to get married in the first place. Some ladies have abusive family so to escape they just get married as soon as someone proposals. It’s hard wallah I know 😔
Ameen ya Rabb
I didn't read the title at first. The first 5 minutes I thought you were describing the devil.
Lol 🤣🤣
They’re from among the devils of mankind mentioned in the Quran in Surah Al-An’am, verse 112. I’m thoroughly convinced that the narcissist I met was a devil. I’ve never seen someone so malicious, who finds so much joy in others’ suffering before
@@delilahmertoglu Stay safe.
Salaam sis. JzkAllah Khair for another great video. Very helpful and will change many relationships for the better insha'Allah.
Please follow up on a video about how family members can support somebody who is victim to a narcissistic spouse because there are many families that back off just because the narcissistic spouse doesn't like their presence and they feel themselves that their presence is adding to the couple's problems. Also, a video on how a narcissistic person should/can change to become a better spouse and Muslim would be so much more helpful too insha'Allah.
JzkAllah Khair ♥️
Interesting!!!! This litrally will save my life.
As salamu alaykun. Thanks for this video. I will want a video because I am already married to a narcissist man
JazakAllahu khair for sharing some of your informative tips sister in Islam
Story of my life.. you just spilled my entire husband and the things he said and done to me
Just filled for divorce this Monday.. I hope it goes well
Subhannallah the entire vedio is talking abt what i went through
The information in this video is thought provoking.
Thankyou sis ,my husband feels just because he introduced me to Islam that alone gives him they right to treat me as though I'm not muslim.The last fight said hey your nice to a stranger ,but your own wife you put don't I don't belong to you I am not your property you take out to put down to make you feel better about yourself.Do everything for this man says if something is even missing right away he says oh you moved it or took it.He has me questioning my own sanity, I have been with him for 14yrs and I feel that as I age I hit 40life is too short I am alienated from my family he just wants to stay in house all day. So when I suggest we do something always an excuse..I don't know what to do I stay for my children but so man is sucking my soul and who I truly am out of me.If I take to long coming back I'm questioned my phone has to have FaceTime Hes too controlling. .
please please sister make a video on what to do if you are already in a relationship with a narcissist because my dad is a narcissist and my mother has been seeking help. She is religious but also listens to parts of her culture that tell her to stay.
Me and my siblings are living the same situation but both of them are narcissists. We don't where to seek for help because if we speak out they will know and then come threaten us.
Yes I am in a this kind of marriage... going in out in circles , don’t have much support to stay out , physically, ill make duah please allah swt sends help
I was married to a covert narcissist woman. She nearly destroyed my life and my Iman. She pretended like she was pious and kind and empathic but as soon as we were married she outright refused to do anything that she knew I enjoyed unless it gave her superiority over me.
@@JahannamHellfire
Yeah that's what she was like. Don't assume that just because they hide everything that everyone else is easily fooled or that they do so very efficiently. She hid her true intentions and feelings and tortured me with neglect, withholding of affection, withholding of approval, withholding of connection and communication. Would sabotage anything I was trying to do for both our benefit. Very entitled and arrogant. Would not even be open to acknowledging anything that she could improve upon while I was expected to take care of everything. She expected everyone to treat her as a princess.
I love you dear fisabilillah. Alhamdulillah for Allah using you like this. I wish I could meet you one on one. You are doing great. May Allah reward, guide and protect you. Honestly, the aspect of accountability is so key. So so so key!!!
Such an important video. Will be sharing far and wide
What if our parents are narcissistic and we cant go to the counsel? A man that needs someone to hold him accountable or wants someone abuse someone wont care if he has someone to be accountable anyways. Elders wont correct him. A god fearing man fears god and doesnt need anyone to hold them accountable
Trying out of the home if u cam afford to, or the cycle will never end
SubhanaAllah it's as if you are describing the marriage of a family member I have! It's really heartbreaking especially because she married him thinking that if he is a practicing muslim, then what more would she ask for. This makes me very angry because this was the advice of all the Sheikhs at the time.
Jazaki Allah khair for this video. Looking forward to the one about narcissistic mothers. Would you please make a video about steps to take if a woman is already married to narcissistic musilm man?
I was looking into this from Muslim perspective. Thank you sister for shutting light on this n exposing these type of men.
Alhamdidallah Sister may Allah reward you for sharing this message
Very informative talk..everything you said relays to both genders..May ALLAH help us ALL to change the error of our ways before it's too late.
I am married to a covert narcissists for 40years. Realized it too late in my life
In front of people he is an angel. With me lies..keeps secrets..gives me the silent treatment for weeks.
May Allah reward you in this dunya and the akhirah Nafisa 🤗
Kai Kai Kai Kai my people are not ready for these conversations.
Well said all around
It is good you talking about narcissistic muslim men,please talk about narcissistic muslim women and mothers.My mum is a narcissistic woman who treated other people and children better than her own family.
Barakallahu fikah sister, I have learned a lot from this video. May Allah bless you with goodness 🥰🥰
I really loved this Nafisa Jazaakillah khairan sis ❤️
Waiyakum ❤️
You voice shows it all , you have the experience , am currently in a nassisistic marrital relationship 3 years now , he married a second early this year ,she left already , i am filling divorce soon too , i was very scared of divorce becos i have a daughter already😢
MashAllah so much noor on the face...a wonderful topic you have touched..