5 MASSIVE Blind Spots about MEN That Women Won't Admit in a MILLION YEARS

แชร์
ฝัง

ความคิดเห็น • 2.1K

  • @SlowPeace25
    @SlowPeace25 ปีที่แล้ว +210

    The thing where she says women are only talking to alphas when they say "be more sensitive"... underrated advice. Pure Gold.

    • @Anotherguy1st
      @Anotherguy1st 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Which is completely hilarious because they actually think they would listen to them! Like why don't you go to work and try to tell your Boss how to do their job, let me know how that goes for you if you still have a job at the end of the day! Then maybe you'll understand how damn stupid that piece of advice really is!

    • @lolfolcopter
      @lolfolcopter 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Yes it's a perfect example of how women actually do not notice most men. And then assume that the men they do notice are "all men"

    • @Meatheus72
      @Meatheus72 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      This is why you hear so many women talk about how bad men are. They've taken their experiences with the bad boys that they picked, and make that assumption about all men, because they don't see the others. They don't really see them.
      There's so much psychology in this video, evolutionary and biological psychology.
      It's also one of the reasons why modern feminism is absolutely failing women.
      My mother's feminism was spot on.

    • @clearskycam
      @clearskycam 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@lolfolcopter
      Reminds me of the bear dialogue from a few weeks ago. What does it say about the person choosing the bear?

  • @brucenatelee
    @brucenatelee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +454

    If a guy rejects sex, it's usually not because they don't want to, but because of ideas like "too good to be true" and certain legal consequences (child support, accusations, etc.).

    • @khabibnurmagomedov489
      @khabibnurmagomedov489 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      i do it cuz i am a muslim

    • @knowledgeiskey4087
      @knowledgeiskey4087 ปีที่แล้ว

      me too@@khabibnurmagomedov489

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Not necessarily. Most guys need to reach the stage(mindset) where they can reject sex with an attractive woman . If they can get there they own the game

    • @waggawaggaful
      @waggawaggaful ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It took me forever to figure this out. I’m in my late 30s and very inexperienced. I’m always rejected by the guys I like. And it finally started to dawn on me in the past couple weeks that I may be quite a lot more attractive than I assumed I was. The guys I go for are usually not wealthy or particularly handsome or fit. And it may just be that I set my standards too low and these men already knew it before I did. They knew I’d wake up sooner or later and realize we were a bad match.

    • @waggawaggaful
      @waggawaggaful ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, but if they keep rejecting attractive women and it becomes a pattern, something is wrong with them. There is such a thing as sociopathic gays who like to torment women (they probably had abusive mothers). They’re not nearly as evil as ped0philes, but they’re very problematic.

  • @the3sounds
    @the3sounds 3 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    That first point really cleared up the issue for me. I'd never thought of it that way. A genuine thank you for making me less pissed off with that aspect of women's 'advice'. It was never aimed at me. Pisses me off that I didn't learn that 30 odd years ago. The joys of having an absent dad, takes decades to learn the basics. Thanks again.

    • @BahnLife
      @BahnLife 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      *Yea how she explained it made so much sense... I was like duh, why didn't I think of that.*

    • @Amdecreations.
      @Amdecreations. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I always see my friend post these sayings on Facebook, women saying the same thing in FB groups, a similar saying on twitter etc, so I would say they are lying, then I sort of figured it out in what a woman says is different to what she actually does. Pay attention to actions rather than words.

    • @marlonmoncrieffe0728
      @marlonmoncrieffe0728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Ah, I never grew up without a father and was just as ignorant until this video!

    • @DjClimamusic
      @DjClimamusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Amdecreations. Totally agree!

    • @RR-et6zp
      @RR-et6zp ปีที่แล้ว +1

      read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper

  • @JackieLastrada
    @JackieLastrada 3 ปีที่แล้ว +367

    As an older person I completely concur with your observations. Most women in my experience, live in a vacuum of willful ignorance. They don't "see" 90% of the men that are available because of their selection bias. Therefore most of their "Honest" observations to, for ,and about men are skewed profoundly. I don't know how she came to this revelation, but I wish she would share it with the world.❤️

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      thank you Jackie!

    • @warrenbradford2597
      @warrenbradford2597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yes! Put the information in the newspapers and the news networks.

    • @kihlstihl
      @kihlstihl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Nah this is the straight truth bomb of it all. We are stuck in a cycle because the most evil men have the most power. Especially in this context. So they end up then training most women. Like she states here, these women are now training men to act differently. In my life i was assumed to be a type of person. An alpha. It came with ridiculous assumptions that i would be available. But i am an intellectual and only really enjoy challenge. So i never took any of the cake. But i got to watch how people are. People train each other and now in these times we are being trained to be assimilated by an artificial intelligence and robots and to reject each other and give up life's pleasures. It's sad that our cyborg self being. Our digital identity is giving up our culture of passing down wisdom. The world changed to storing knowledge and to educate fields but we gave up guiding relationships. Maybe we ask our parents and older generations. But the error is that it is book read. This is what we need. Observed and lived wisdom. Share it and act the same. We have to fix then next, current and old generations before we can really all get better together. We may be the best we've ever been as an society, but not as individuals.

    • @DaveE99
      @DaveE99 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I know based on attraction research, women don’t see unattractive men, men seem to be annoyed by the sight of an unattractive suiotor. You can debate if annoyed or invisible is better, but pair invisible with hypergamy and yup it’s a thing. Also had to learn that if you just listen to how people higher in neurotisism describe the world and interactions with people, it also kinda screws things for youZ

    • @davidakshay2024
      @davidakshay2024 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah Most Modern Women, Maybe even Previous Generations too, Have a Selection of Tall Dark and Handsome, When that as U say Women's "Honest" Observations can Be Skewed. I AM a Ginger Ninja and I Get a Ton of Ahmazing Looks and Responses from Women due to My Natural PowerFull Silent Masculine Presence Alone My Energy and Magnetism. I have Been told By A lot of Women that Ginger Is Super Hot, and I Know Myself Pretty Well so I Agree with them though they Make Me Feel Invincible.
      With the Last Blind Spot I Need to Be A lot more CommUNIcative and Set Boundaries to Be more Solidified and Express My Needs. I Mean I AM an Empath and I can Read So Much!! So I just Naturally Do things With Women, But Most Women Don't Read Me Well. So Even though I want Women to Be Telepathically Sexual, then i'd Be Hoping for those Really In tune Women Which R Rare.

  • @murkywaters5502
    @murkywaters5502 3 ปีที่แล้ว +601

    TIMESTAMPS - Like this so it gets seen!
    5 MASSIVE Blind Spots about MEN That Women Won't Admit in a MILLION YEARS
    1. Women are instinctually drawn to classic alphas, and intend the "be in touch with your feelings advice" for men they already like and find cool. Selection Bias (2:46)
    2. Women don't understand how rare it is or how hard it is for a guy to sleep with women (6:23)
    3. Women think men know that they don't want it to be purely equal on dates and in the bedroom, and that feminism does not necessarily apply there the same way they want it to apply in the work world and in the rest of their life (10:31)
    4. Women don't realize how easy it would be to go out and get casual sex. They don't fully realize how easy it is to get sex whenever they want (like just asking a guy for it) (14:05)
    5. Women don't understand why men don't want to be in a relationship and the emotional labor men do in relationships (17:44)

    • @tlewis84able
      @tlewis84able 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Reading it cold like that really makes women sound completely out of touch snd unreasonable.

    • @breakingthemasks
      @breakingthemasks 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Excellent work man. Commenting for the algorithm to boost this thread.

    • @MrAdamMcFarlan
      @MrAdamMcFarlan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      This saved me twenty minutes man,thanks😉

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      @@MrAdamMcFarlan i always summarize it in the description as well for people

    • @murkywaters5502
      @murkywaters5502 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@MrAdamMcFarlan I'd still recommend watching the video for her explanations. These are just points.

  • @fredkeeler4620
    @fredkeeler4620 3 ปีที่แล้ว +257

    Not to sound like another "Honesty" comment, but you come across as someone who who tells the uncomfortable truth and is not afraid to be Booed on-stage because of it. . I like that.

    • @inthebreeeze
      @inthebreeeze 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      For real

    • @APsGTG
      @APsGTG 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @Jaime Ares that is forever a good thing. Living in comfortable lies is the only bad thing

    • @danstylus1
      @danstylus1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Jaime Ares it is a good thing being what separates her

    • @SaitohYatate
      @SaitohYatate 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually it’s pretty liberating. Victoria helped me and others realize that we’ve been playing the game wrong this whole time.

  • @joinery11
    @joinery11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Finally a woman who speaks our language. Thank you for blessing us with your honesty. Been married for nearly 30yrs , understand my wife just that little bit more because of you

  • @pruttrpal
    @pruttrpal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    It's very refreshing to finally see and hear a woman saying things that men have been saying for years and years! It's sad that there aren't more women who understand and will even admit these blind spots. Thank you for sharing!

  • @playboyv12
    @playboyv12 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    My God, every video this woman puts out is fantastic. She has the rare foresight and true empathy to deliver what men need. I didn’t even watch this video yet, just read the summary points and know it will be even better watching it.
    Jamie Date, Elsa, Blaine, Kimberly, Courtney are really good at giving men the bite size pieces and the tactics in the dating community. Our friend here is going deep into the psychology and giving perhaps things those others aren’t talking about and are just as valuable.
    I hope you succeed in all your endeavors, you deserve it!

  • @jordanlane337
    @jordanlane337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    As a woman I absolutely love your videos Victoria!!! You explain the woman's mind so well and yes these are very uncomfortable things for women to admit to men but it's absolutely something men need to know I'm so happy you have the strength to let these secrets out

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      wow thank you so much Jordan!!!! It means a lot that you think so as a woman. So you agree with the 5 blindspots?

    • @jordanlane337
      @jordanlane337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@mynonleatherlife I absolutely do agree!

    • @keltecdan
      @keltecdan ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My question is why should they be secrets? There should be healthy communication on both sides about who we are and what we want.

    • @joshuahenneberg6020
      @joshuahenneberg6020 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@keltecdansafety. Exploitation of women

    • @mattia4105
      @mattia4105 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@keltecdan hi, i think it might be because these are all blindspots, meaning that is not a completely understood trait. a person who reflects a lot and analyses her mind like she does in the video, might get a grasp of these concepts and understand them. furthermore, accepting these as truths and sharing them with a partner might feel uncomfortable/cringy/loss of power, so this might be why are seen as "secrets"

  • @bobbysayer5801
    @bobbysayer5801 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    This girl a homie fr

  • @hititorquitit2990
    @hititorquitit2990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    This brings to mind a guy who published his dating results after like a 100 dates. The Better Batchelor channel covered it. It took a lot of dates and money to have a very small "hit" rate. The complete and total opposite if the roles were reversed.
    And perhaps women don't know because they just don't care.

    • @Matheuz101
      @Matheuz101 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Agreed, the reversed setting would be totally different :D But I do think women do care, that's what they do. They just don't understand. We are just so differently hardwired. I truly can understand the confusion on both sides. For me, this is sooo fascinating. We just need to know what buttons to push and when to do it. And when we do, Oh boy, oh boy! :)

    • @bromance3496
      @bromance3496 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm confused. Are you saying the more dates he had the less sex he had and the reverse would be true for women?

    • @ovidius2000
      @ovidius2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@bromance3496 no

    • @bromance3496
      @bromance3496 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ovidius2000 well are you gonna tell me what he meant lmao

    • @ovidius2000
      @ovidius2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@bromance3496 uLackLogicMan.

  • @omnipotentone5628
    @omnipotentone5628 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    Your first point, that woman are talking to Chad and Tyrone about being nicer and sensitive, and not the other 80% of men who are invisible to them, is spot on. Many of us are going our own way as a defense mechanism to save the little bit of self esteem we have left. Thanks for making me feel more justified for this path I'm taking.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      i don't see how the fact that they have a blind spot/selection bias there justifies giving up women forever. we aren't all statisticians

    • @omnipotentone5628
      @omnipotentone5628 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@mynonleatherlife Your other point of the female blindspot on how easy it is for woman to get male interest for intimacy, compared to the 80% of men, was enlightening. But realizing something, and actually experiencing it, are two different things. Some of us have had enough rejection, friend zoning, being used for validation, it hurts, I'm done, and I'm not alone. I appreciate your vids, and await the onslaught of the white knights.

    • @boethius1812
      @boethius1812 ปีที่แล้ว

      We average guys have to work smarter and harder than Chad and Tyrone, but there's plenty of ass for us. Help Becky raise her bastard spawn and you'll have access to all sorts of hot women + 10 years.

    • @waggawaggaful
      @waggawaggaful ปีที่แล้ว +19

      As a single and childless aging woman (late 30s) I can tell you that we often confuse a man’s attitude or energy with actual alpha male status. You can be ugly and out of shape with no money and no future, but if you give off an arrogant and toxic vibe, we can be foolish enough to mistake that for being a badass masculine attitude. I think what needs to happen is that high value men need to start acting like they’re high value. As I get older, my eyes are opening to the reality of all the high value men out there who don’t adequately value themselves. If you make close to or over 6 figures, never, ever, be nice to a woman unless she fully submits. If she doesn’t submit to you then she is for the streets. But you have to be man enough to demand submission from her. The reason she ends up banging drummers and ugly low income guys is because they had the nerve to assert themselves and their dominance. An attitude of dominance is a choice. If more rich handsome successful guys adopted this attitude they would be unstoppable.

    • @waggawaggaful
      @waggawaggaful ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also, how many women have you rejected? I hear all these mgtow guys complaining about getting women when we live in a culture where it’s never been easier to hook up with a woman. I encounter men with standards that are too high on a daily basis.

  • @subzero5853
    @subzero5853 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    your self awareness is a blessing to us guys (and the women we date), thank you so much

  • @Yer_Da_
    @Yer_Da_ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have to say, despite you saying 'i'm not the only honest woman in the world' you are one of the few women who i have ever heard being this candid about the psychology of attraction specifically from a female perspective - you are incredibly articulate and inciteful, whilst also seemingly being honest. That is very rare, in my eyes.

  • @Tunilvien
    @Tunilvien 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "They block everyone else out" so true.

  • @Indefinite3Point14
    @Indefinite3Point14 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Blind spot women have: They think men are dumb and/or unaware of unhealthy behavior many women exhibit, or that we don't know when they're being sneaky, unfaithful, too selfish, disrespectful or are being inauthentic.
    Also, thanks for the Mode One recommendation. There is a version of that that men wishwomen would step up to as well. It really comes down to everyone being authentic and not "A-holes" about it on either side. Instead what we get from each other are tons of "try hard," ego-filled behavior that lacks value and substance. Lack of authenticity is a huge reason relationships fail and know one really knows who the other person is even after being together for years.

  • @Alphaproximita
    @Alphaproximita 3 ปีที่แล้ว +179

    Men are stepping away from the ‘have our cake and eat it too’ attitude. We are not treating women ‘traditionally,’ if they won’t reciprocate.

    • @gbjanuary
      @gbjanuary 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Only men who are strong but agree men should not date a woman with that attitude.

    • @tlewis84able
      @tlewis84able 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Exactly! She’s saying, “I want feminism all day until I’m with a man. Then switch it off and have him pay for everything and treat me like a princess”. In what universe is that fair?

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      ok so they end up finding another guy tho? And u get nothing?

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      u guys have lost the protective instinct women crave. They give u babies, their entire love, life, beauty, loyalty, sense of life....it's more than a fair trade in their eyes

    • @Alphaproximita
      @Alphaproximita 3 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      @@mynonleatherlife Many men are walking away from marriage because it’s simply a bad deal. Many men support children that are not theirs unknowingly, and pay ludicrous amounts to wives who initiate 70% of divorces, which is above 50% currently. Sense of loyalty? Most women give ‘Chad’s’ their best years, there is no debate in that. Any other remarks?

  • @andrettax6052
    @andrettax6052 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    OMG, you are so on point, I mean, so much empathy. I think when people say you are the only honest women, they are misled, but in a sense you kind is at least out of ordinary in empathy towards men. 99% of women will never these ideas crossing their mind and trying to understand men like you do.

  • @bigmike9486
    @bigmike9486 3 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    Liberation and romance can't coexist because liberation cancels out loyalty

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      u could have loyalty, romance and sexual freedom if you are in an open or partially open relationship

    • @bigmike9486
      @bigmike9486 3 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      @@mynonleatherlife but that is not true loyalty. You are just fwb with a label at that point.

    • @chewbrocka6833
      @chewbrocka6833 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@bigmike9486 it's labels all the way down

    • @gogglessukass7852
      @gogglessukass7852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@mynonleatherlife I can’t believe that anyone could honestly believe that.

    • @noobie7719
      @noobie7719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Mike...seriously?? Liberation and romance most certainly DO work together. It has for us...for 43 beautiful years. ❤️

  • @donnietobasco9791
    @donnietobasco9791 3 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    RE: Blind Spot # 1. Even as a man, I totally understand what it feels like to process every single woman one meets through the lens of "would I or wouldn't I?" That's the lens you employ when you're "mate" hunting, and it kicks in...pretty much in ones late teens. It continues thereafter off course, but it's obviously not the ONLY lens available, and you have to also cultivate a much more balanced, objective lens which can appraise characteristic value within women "as a whole," even if many of them are the antithesis of mating material. One would like to think that women are also capable of appraising the characteristic value of men "as a whole," even if many of those, are not deemed mating material to them either?
    As an example of this, imagine a juvenile dialogue between two red blooded male teens who have convinced themselves that becoming a gynaecologist would be the BEST job in the world!! They're obviously not considering women like 60 year old "Martha" with incontinence issues....or indeed, the many other very "real" women who'd likely form the bulk of their daily case-load. No...they're using their self-centred, subjective "mating" lens to frame the world in very unrealistic terms for themselves.
    The "mate-hunting" appraisals of men, oft uttered by women who are in the marketplace for male attention, can often sound just as narrow, juvenile and unrealistic as those two "would-be" gynaecologists above. Utterly imbalanced and divorced from reality, and totally centred on what they "imagine" to be an ideal scenario.
    Putting the men who they're not attracted to "out of mind" (as you put it) is one of THE most transparent and revealing things a woman can do, and the irony is, that even the men they ARE attracted to will notice this and will not be impressed by it. Yes, we expect women to have a lens of attraction....because everybody has this...but if that's basically the ONLY lens you possess and the ONLY lens you use to appraise every single male on the planet...and if you're shallow enough to obviate this....then that's not a very flattering look.
    I've been in the company of women who were attracted to ME....but who have been very cruel (in front of me) to men they were NOT attracted to. Rather than being flattered that I had somehow "made the grade" I was actually repulsed by the fact that these women really believed that their own (self-centred) lens of attraction was a sufficient enough metric to grade every single man they encountered.
    It didn't matter that I was supposedly one of the "lucky" men they deemed worthy of good treatment. There's more to life, and positive human encounter than being on a never-ending perpetual "mate-hunt" and this should never be the ONLY lens we employ when dealing with the opposite gender.

    • @Stephen-bq4nq
      @Stephen-bq4nq 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Great post some woman are bordering on brutal with men they aren't interested in and it's ugly when you see it because it's uncalled for.

    • @The_Philosophical_Pugilist
      @The_Philosophical_Pugilist 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Very well put I agree.
      Regarding this blind spot of women. A big factor is biological ignorance I think particularly when it comes to understanding the differences between the psyches of both men and woman.
      People don't understand how much biology influences our behaviour . For example being aware of the general mating mechanisms or strategies both sexes employ which are hard wired into the animal layer of our subconscious , people don't understand them. The majourity don't realise how much these impulses influence our decision making most are unaware of their existence which leads to each sex judging the other's behaviour towards the opposite sex through an irrational lense .
      Womens mating strategy basically is Hypergamy- they will always seek the best option possible for a mate and drop the rest like a stone if they find what they deem a " higher quality" male. It's probably nature's way of securing stability for offspring allowing life to flourish it's quite understandable from that view point. Men often don't understand how this works they can't handle the rejection which is a much more common part of life for men than women . This leads men to judge and hold resentment towards women I think. I've come to understand that woman are basically the embodiment of natures selection process within the human race.
      Mens mating strategy basically is to mate with as many females as possible - to spread their seed as much as possible. Again understandable from natures point of view to ensure life flourishes you see it throughout the animal kingdom. It doesn't mean men don't want or seek stable relationships it's ideal for raising a family but they always have that urge in them for other females which has to be controlled and mastered . The lady described this urge quite well describing it as a hunger that needs feeding I couldn't put it better. When men commit to a relationship they are giving up their mating strategy and fighting against their natural instincts there's a lot of sacrifice and effort in that and it's a beautiful thing when it's for a loving stable relationship but it's still a big thing which I don't think woman understand or give credit for at all.
      The lovely lady in the video often talks about the qualities in men that woman are attracted to but often don't admit. The reason they don't admit to them is due to bad teachings spawning out of ,post modernism ,modern feminism, and wokeism which have increasingly filtered into society in my opinion. Mens nature has almost been completely demonised due to an overcompensation by these movements perpetuating such narratives of an ruling patriarchy in everything , "toxic masculinity" and notions of gender being a " social construct ". You have generations trying to live by philosophies that are detached from reality and their own human nature. This for me explains the self conflict that women experience when what they think they want doesn't align with what they actually want and explains the confusion and resentment men experience when they try to be what women say they want but get rejected because it's not what they actually want 😂.

    • @donnietobasco9791
      @donnietobasco9791 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@The_Philosophical_Pugilist Thank you. Regarding the evolutionary mating predispositions of both males and females, which you incidentally summarised so well....I've always employed the analogy of a modern, commercial aircraft which, give or take a few manoeuvres, can basically be programmed to get from one side of the planet to the other using nought but it's "auto-pilot" feature. The "auto-pilot" can however be switched off entirely and the plane can be flown manually and guided to wherever a skilled pilot wants to take it.
      Even though we as human beings (male and female) posses evolutionary programming when it comes to mate-hunting and relationships, we too, are capable of switching this "auto-pilot" off, and inputting our own steerage to a large degree. Trouble arises for many however, when they try and input their own steerage WITHOUT turning the auto-pilot off. It results in the plane receiving TWO sets of conflicting instructions which may utterly contradict eachothers aims.
      If for example, men and women fail to understand and embrace that they each possess many, many millennia of evolutionary impulses in terms of how they are programmed to evaluate eachother, and think that they can now just grab the "joystick" and take control of the process, basically re-writing the rules because societal influences make them believe that they can....then they're just going to end up doing battle with their own evolutionary "auto-pilot" which is STILL exerting its own very powerful influence as a guidance mechanism.
      All that happens when you give a plane TWO sets of conflicting inputs, is that invariably...the plane just crashes and burns and arrives NOWHERE successfully. Yes, men may well be programmed to "spread their seed" and yes, women may well be programmed to invoke "hypergamy" etc....but these are evolutionary "auto-pilot" manoeuvres which CAN be switched off once men and women become aware of their influence. If the mutual aim of both parties is to forego their evolutionary impulses in order to create and nurture a relationship which they both see as a "primary" desire, which will supply far better satisfaction-dividends for each party than either seed spreading or hypergamy would.....then human beings are capable of doing this.
      They can only do it successfully however, to the extent that they're each fully aware that their respective "programming" will still try and influence them NOT to do this. The only way they can turn that evolutionary "auto-pilot" off within themselves is to first of all....acknowledge that these evolutionary impulses actually exist, and that their influence is very powerful and persuasive. Men need to be honest about their "seed spreading" impulses. Women need to be honest about the influence "hypergamy" exerts over them.
      A mutual "deal" has to be struck between both parties that neither of them will ever let their innate, evolutionary "auto-pilot" kick in and compromise the relationship. After all, what are traditional marriage pledges of lifelong exclusivity with eachother....but THIS !!
      It's basically two people entering a contract of vigorous self-control which demands that either party will not allow themselves to be governed by their evolutionary impulses anymore.
      It's obviously much easier to utter these pledges than it is to actually live by them, as is evidenced by divorce rate statistics, but it's NOT impossible. My own parents have racked up 60 very happy years together, and I myself have 30 years under my belt.
      Is this because the urge for "seed spreading" or hypergamy has never raised its ugly head?
      No.
      It's because those evolutionary impulses have been consistently rejected in favour of a far more rewarding life strategy. To all intents and purposes, the evolutionary "auto-pilot" has been switched off. The plane has been flown manually, and in my parent's case especially, it's taken them successfully to a destination of their own choosing. Namely, a long and happy pair-bonding that's yielded (in spades) the many practical and emotional dividends that go with that.
      You spoke about modern women being in conflict with what they currently "claim" to want versus what they seemingly "really" want, and how this has affected male responses also.
      I couldn't agree more. Whilst modern women are doing battle with societal "constructs" etc and attempting to redefine themselves in those terms, there's still many millennia of feminine hard-wiring within which is making this a very confusing and incongruent venture for many.
      It's hard to see these things as being nought but the "birth pangs" of a more enlightened generation where relationships are concerned, and if what we're witnessing is some kind of negotiation which is meant to invoke men to see women in a different light, then let's just say it's not a very flattering or enticing light at present....

    • @lunagg1548
      @lunagg1548 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Holy fuck you guys are smart

    • @tlewis84able
      @tlewis84able 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@donnietobasco9791 well stated. Can I throw age into the mix? Evolutionary seed spreading programming is not only about quantity but about finding the most fertile. I think men do a good job at overriding our auto pilot on that one. In fact, men put laws on the books making the most fertile of females off limits. This is never mentioned.

  • @fredflintstone8048
    @fredflintstone8048 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    My mother felt like she made a huge mistake marrying my father. At first it was all fairy tale romance between them but then they had two kids and it came time to do the work. My mother wouldn't do much so my father had to shoulder taking care of the kids, changing diapers, cleaning the diapers (old days of cloth diapers), taking care of sick kids, and going to work while my mother sat on her @$$ and complained because MY FATHER NO LONGER HAD THE TIME AND ENERGY TO ROMANCE HER. He bent over backward trying to make a good home, but she was no longer content and divorced him within 6 years of marrying him. Things went downhill after that.
    Yeah, she's a narcissist, still, today at the age of 90.

  • @morrispolynkiukakea3796
    @morrispolynkiukakea3796 3 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I write from the Pacific Islands and a Polynesian heritage. Although culturally far from each other, it seems that she is explaining women and girls in my village. Prior to arrival of missionaries in 1938, Majority of our women and men are promiscuous and indicated in our belief system that children are gift from the Gods, regardless of who father the child, a pregnant women can divorce or leave the partner for another hubby. Until Christianity was introduced and ban the practice. That said, Christanity also saved my people from killing each other to extinction.

    • @Mrglanet
      @Mrglanet 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The book "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha talks about this, if I remember correctly. Especially the concept of multiple paternity (that multiple people can claim to be the parent of the child and involved in raising them) in Pacific Islander cultures and elsewhere. VERY interesting stuff and very thought provoking ideas on sexuality.

    • @madebyreuben3402
      @madebyreuben3402 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The cultural anthropologist was lied to there's a big thing about it

    • @prashanthb6521
      @prashanthb6521 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sex is not a sin for other cultures all over the world. It is just a biological act. Only Christians see it as a sin.

    • @Alphaproximita
      @Alphaproximita 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@prashanthb6521 right.. non Christian civilizations are extremely progressive and successful, like the Middle East, Africa, India, etc... Oh wait.

    • @cityguyable
      @cityguyable 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@Alphaproximita it’s an absolute misnomer for these humps to say sex is viewed as a sin in Christianity. Getting married and having sex with only one partner who you love and create a family with is a wonderful thing and saves you from disease, mental illness, and frivolity.

  • @hugof849
    @hugof849 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is pure gold. I laughed out loud several times at myself for not realizing this earlier, these observations ring true to me and of the sort that is just before your eyes but you just dont see it. Thank you Victoria for sharing your perspective

  • @luigifabozzi1456
    @luigifabozzi1456 3 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    One more feedback: please write a book, you're good

    • @hotstuff1167
      @hotstuff1167 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Could put all her videos into chapters. Start with a history of her relationships and what lead her into starting to spread this advice. Would be a best seller

    • @ishyameru6232
      @ishyameru6232 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Im honeslty in shock trying to fathom just how different our perspectives are

    • @mr.international1861
      @mr.international1861 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think she had at least one book. Try to find her YT page

  • @some-cool-guy
    @some-cool-guy ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I like how your videos present these sexual dynamics in a clear, nonjudgmental, non-angry manner. It's so helpful to hear your clear, non-defensive, insightful perspective on how women think about sex and men. Your videos can help men and women understand and empathize with each other, bringing them closer together, rather than the angry dialog and misunderstandings that drive them further apart.

  • @13elad49
    @13elad49 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    A lot of women think a man can pick and choose any woman they want. Almost like a man can just walk out and get laid.
    Very insightful, thank you ♡

    • @timgibney5590
      @timgibney5590 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That is because that is their world. When think of fishing they assume we walk in a boat and fish magically jump in the boat and the best is to filter out the bad fish while still docked. When a man fishes we got to do the work. Weird analogy but when we mention our issues they think GOD this MAN IS AN INCEL LOSER and assume something is wrong with us. After all they have 9 orbiters at all times and do not ever need to work on their game. Just be pretty and men line up

    • @user-by2xq9cl3e
      @user-by2xq9cl3e 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Very true

  • @OrangePony75
    @OrangePony75 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Never better explained. Protect this woman at all costs.

  • @davemustarda
    @davemustarda หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm blown away this content is gold. Thank you.

  • @kongvolmerii2683
    @kongvolmerii2683 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    How refreshing seing a video made by a woman, and not ONCE did she say the usual phrase that "men should just have confidence".

  • @tilitila88
    @tilitila88 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You are one of the few that speaks the truth. Honestly, you could write a best seller. Congrats!

  • @joshc7656
    @joshc7656 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    This is so true, thanks so much for sharing your persspective!!

  • @momotheelder7124
    @momotheelder7124 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Never heard my thoughts on male/female relations summed up so accurately and succinctly, well done!

  • @ahrengroesch8774
    @ahrengroesch8774 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This sheds a lot of light on things that I had a feeling about but couldn't really put my finger on. You explained a lot of differences and disconnects that aren't really anyone's fault, but not being aware of them can really throw things off.
    The point about women giving most men horrible advice for attracting women says a lot. Women are recycling the top 20% of guys and have no concept that the other 80% exist and have different issues. I've spoken quite a few women that think guys have no fear whatsoever directly approaching beautiful women and flirting with them. They assume all men are like that.
    Trying to explain sexual scarcity to women is like a camel trying to explain water scarcity to a fish. The fish was born into the water. It doesn't even know it's there. The concept of not having access to water has no meaning to the fish.
    And personally, the idea that women want to be desired, controlled, and dominated, especially in the bedroom, was a bizarre strange new concept to me that I didn't learn until the age of 34. Hearing about it triggered the hell out of me. How could that possibly be true? It goes against everything I know and feel. But it explained all of my failed interactions with women far to perfectly. I had to surrender to it being true.
    When I explain that to women they look at me with this perplexed look on their face like I'm some sort of alien. And I have to explain to them that I'm part of the other 80% that they subconsciously filter out.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That is so true and it was another big blindspot I wanted to talk about but was saving for the next blindspot vid and that was exactly what you are saying that they have no idea men have these different issues. They project a hypermasculine projection on to men probably because of this selection bias. I had the exact same thing for so many years. The bubble actually popped the day after I worked at a strip club for the first time and I walked down the street and saw men completely differently. Now I see how off I was originally and that most men are insecure when it comes to women, unsure of what they want or how to act, struggling with women and to understand women

    • @ahrengroesch8774
      @ahrengroesch8774 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mynonleatherlife Interesting. So that first day in the club showing off your sexuality is when you saw it, the depth's of men's insecurity?
      I think it's more than just selection bias. Men like me legitimately try to hide in plain sight. So to a degree it's our own fault. We run this program of "don't bother anyone, especially not women".

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ahrengroesch8774 idk what happened but the next day as I was walking down the street it was like all the men on the street had transformed before my eyes and I saw them as they were and not like scary hypermasculine super-sexed cold unfeeling people I realized I had always seen them as. The fear had dissapeared over night--very odd but so real and vivid in my mind

    • @cazmars5360
      @cazmars5360 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And it really irritates me that we have to go to an obscure comment section to even have these discussions. Wokeism has completely tainted the waters of honesty when it comes to relationships and the conversation needs to be drilled tf home that 80% of men are not even looked at by women

    • @ahrengroesch8774
      @ahrengroesch8774 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@cazmars5360 We can pop that bubble any time we want, but we have to wake up to the fact that we do it to ourselves. Plenty of people are talking about this stuff if you know where to look.

  • @DomaSno
    @DomaSno 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Omg especially number 1 - 2 - 5 so so true.
    " Nice guys dont to be nicer, it hurts them "
    Pure gold advice , great video for both women and men ..

    • @CellGames2006
      @CellGames2006 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It hurts in the long run, but on the outset it's easier to be "nicer" than to act as a more assertive, masculine, kinky bad boy dom like Fifty shades of Christian Grey...

  • @Pimp-Master
    @Pimp-Master 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Victoria, thanks. You have a good perspective on this subtle problem of male /female knowledge.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      oh good, I am glad u think so. are u a girl?

    • @WatchDoggyDog
      @WatchDoggyDog 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife probs not lol, never know doe

    • @deepshadow1
      @deepshadow1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife you are so genuine and sincere. You should make a video with girlschase-loving chase ... he is a social genius and perhaps the only one to have theorized and able to understand profound female concepts such as vortex

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@deepshadow1 i checked him out, he does seem really good, i subscribed

    • @deepshadow1
      @deepshadow1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife in the youtube channel is hector castillo. among the girlschase team I would put hector alek rolkstad and chase lover the best and founder of the blog. I recommend that you read chase's articles on the blog and I hope you will soon make a video with him. he is one of the greatest and longtime pioneers of seduction

  • @Onlooker71
    @Onlooker71 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    FYI. The noun you’re looking for to describe how women (and men) are raised to think about sex is “social programming”. Alan Roger Currie does a great job explaining this in his books.

  • @Drumlind
    @Drumlind 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Dang that first thing you mentioned about "guys need to be nicer etc" is only for the guys they see (not the "nice guys") was brilliant.

  • @davidbell8401
    @davidbell8401 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is a very insightful video. Honestly, it makes a lot of sense.

  • @amsalespush
    @amsalespush 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Interesting. That Marie Antoinette quote about "Let them eat cake" is exactly the analogy I came up with myself in this regard a few months ago.

  • @sebastienmitaut2012
    @sebastienmitaut2012 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Just imagine the picture : men are basically mental/logical, and they are taught from childhood to suppress their emotions and not feel their feelings. BUT they need to be the "emotional ROCK" for women who are by nature all emotional and all over the place (and no-one teaches you how women operate internally).
    Talk of an IMPOSSIBLE task !!! Those who can achieve that are true super-heroes !...
    No wonder men don't want to be involved in such a daunting task !... It's such a gigantic stretch ...
    It's as if a bird had to know better than a fish how to swim in the ocean to be "the rock" for the fish ... Come on ! Are you kidding me ?!
    Women "wine" and ask where are all the (good) men ? Well, if you KNEW why they all "disappear" ... If you knew the immensity of the task, ladies, NO ONE of you would sign for it if roles were reversed.

    • @forestMog
      @forestMog 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I have noticed that some men are intimidated by their position. Afraid of the blow to the ego which comes from rejection. Happens to me every so often. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

    • @henrikljungstrand2036
      @henrikljungstrand2036 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It is not as impossible as it may sound, being an emotional rock as a logical man, what is needed is first and foremost letting out emotional trauma and frustration in the best possible way (like telling someone close to you how you really feel, crying and screaming in anger, whichever is needed, perhaps destroying some unimportant things in order to let out the aggression in a non-harmful way), and not giving a F**K about what anyone else thinks of you, secondly learning to not suppress your new negative emotions that will no doubt come, but instead to HANDLE them in a logical way, telling people exactly how you feel about how they treat you, yet in as kind and constructive a way as possible.
      Also, remember that all these horrible suppressed emotions you may feel inside, very many women feel similar emotions yet perhaps 10 times stronger or more. No wonder she wants a man as her emotional rock, in order to help her handle all the emotions she cannot handle herself, even when trying to be logical. Thus she doesn't want an insecure "nice guy", she wants a secure good guy with some bad boy traits showing he doesn't take shit from nobody, and is not afraid of offending others by speaking his truth, also he believes enough in himself to not be needy for just any woman, especially not anyone who disrespects him.
      It is important also to realise that very much of the dysfunctionality of both men and women is partly caused by society's backwards rules (created by our rulers in order to subtly oppress us, while deluding us into believing in "democracy" that is mostly for show only), although part of this dysfunctionality is also always caused by internal vices (or seeds thereof) present within us, uncontrolled subconscious forces we need to admit the existence of, and learn to integrate and control, in order to change them into virtues.
      Thus, in order to empower ourselves as men and women, it is important to not follow the rules of society merely because it is expected of us, but to respect only those rules we understand the good reasons for the existence of them, deliberately breaking those rules that do us no good, and do no good to others either, except those rulers who don't deserve to rule, and other bad people who selfishly exploit these rules.
      It is important to realise we have often been victimised in our youth, but equally important to refuse to stay victims, and instead take responsibility for fixing our own life, because nobody else can do that for us.
      Our oppressors and tormentors who don't want to allow us to be ourselves, these people are not our worst enemies, instead our own fear, gullibility, victimhood, beliefs of inadequacy, unreasonable hate, prejudices, delusions and ignorance, these are our worst enemies, and they exist within our own personality. They cannot be solved through either hate towards others or through self hatred, only through honesty, self love no matter what, self education and internal healing and self discipline, finding out who WE wish to be, rather than how others wish us to be, and then pursue manifesting this through our currently broken personality, no matter what it takes, first internally, then externally.

    • @mugojr4766
      @mugojr4766 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The thing i came to realize is that majority of people don't understand how things work. In the same way the rich are very few, most men haven't yet understood women and why things are the way they are. But i know you can learn if you want

    • @BruceLeo100
      @BruceLeo100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@henrikljungstrand2036 Damn if some were to understand this my friend, people’s lives will change so drastically.
      The only thing is, it’s like a part of your own self discovery to become a modern day society Buddhist priest. If that makes any sense.
      I had to find my own self using everything you’ve mentioned to some decree.
      And now I’ve spoken & can relate to all ages of life, the old the young and current generation.
      It’s as if people can genuinely see you! for who you are without having to hide behind your ego or shyness your whole life.
      And the way society portrays how women & Men are supposed to be, has affected our way of living to an extent we’re we are misunderstanding one and others beliefs & desires.
      Now I don’t know if you understand where I’m coming from or what I’m talking about 😅 but I just wanted to say
      that your spot on with what you said in your comment above👍

    • @theeclectic2919
      @theeclectic2919 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Men suppress their emotions for other men, not for women.

  • @thebridgeman7522
    @thebridgeman7522 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I litterally cried. It's he first time i see someone of the other gender being aware of man's issues. I'm affraid of how the future will be. I see a lot of hatred towards men from women, but it stems from misunderstandment

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      this means so much to me. I am so touched that u get what I was trying to say. I totally agree with you that it stems from misunderstanding.

    • @dawoudabdullaev7366
      @dawoudabdullaev7366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Man up.

    • @scottlee8324
      @scottlee8324 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      She was aware of men's issues and totally dissmissed them! We are women! There is nothing we can do to help ourselves! We will all share the top 20 or die alone, no settling

    • @scottlee8324
      @scottlee8324 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Who knows, maybe the 80 percent will have enough pot, porn and ai girlfriends to keep themselves from tearing down society since they wont be having families 😂

  • @reddwarf3046
    @reddwarf3046 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    WOW 😳, THIS VIDEO SHOULD HAVE MILLIONS OF VIEWS...It’s jam packed with facts for both men and women. This video is pure gold. Best relationship advice ever.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      thanks so much Red Dwarf!!!! I appreciate that. I'm glad u liked it.

  • @Blechinstrument
    @Blechinstrument 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    It' stunning how simple all of this is, once someone speaks it out loud.
    I appreciate you taking the time to think about how men move around in the current gender system (call it patriarchy, If you want). Feminists should be taking notes, because this right here is the analysis they should be doing!

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      thanks a lot!

    • @cazmars5360
      @cazmars5360 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Feminism is the antithesis of truth and they would be triggered just watching this video

  • @JudgeOnMerritt
    @JudgeOnMerritt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I Always look forward to hearing what you have to say Victoria ,your helping me understand my wife and it has improved my marriage, you give us man a huge understanding of the women’s psyche. Always appreciated thank you💙

  • @LW7333LW
    @LW7333LW 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    True! So true! Thanks 4 this darlin'!

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am glad u agree, karell t

    • @LW7333LW
      @LW7333LW 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mynonleatherlife Very welcome..

  • @afterzanzibar
    @afterzanzibar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    That last point really hit home for me. I took on my widowed girlfriend's 3 year old, going on 6 now, when I got with her. I don't have kids of my own. She has literally said "I do everything, I give you everything..." While I had to sit there and bring to light all the things I took on to be with her...

  • @craigrockwell1
    @craigrockwell1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    As always, you're spot on.

  • @gainzplz4028
    @gainzplz4028 ปีที่แล้ว

    8:17 Wow, someone actually admitted it. You have my deepest respect.

  • @DanielKI
    @DanielKI ปีที่แล้ว +9

    What women say they want and what women respond to on an emotional and sexual level in real life when you interact with them in person are entirely different things.

  • @russnurse2b807
    @russnurse2b807 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    What you're saying makes a lot of sense and clears up a lot of questions of why women do/act certain ways. Thanks! I agree too that a lot of women don't realize how easy it is for them in certain ways.

  • @AXharoth
    @AXharoth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    hey Victoria how did you achieve all this incredible insights and clarity? its quite impressive
    btw love all your videos and sharing them where i can

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      thank u so much and thanks for sharing the videos too, that is very kind of u. Well I owe it all to my bf BEARDO and my male friend "philosophy junkies" cause they both help me understand the male gaze and male culture better as well as the comments I get from you guys on my channel.

    • @AXharoth
      @AXharoth 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife awesome , thank you

    • @alexrsnh
      @alexrsnh ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@mynonleatherlife your openness to learning about the male perspective is unusual and admirable. In my experience, there is often a tendency by a woman to discount, get defensive, push back, etc., when a guy attempts to call her out on one of these blind spots ..which makes it even more difficult to get traction towards having an honest discussion. Call it a blind spot about the blind spots.

  • @peteypete9357
    @peteypete9357 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You're such a good communicator. I'm surprised this video doesn't have millions of views yet.

  • @eliasandrinopoulos8746
    @eliasandrinopoulos8746 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    These are all great. #1 is so true, women are referring to masculine men who maybe have too much of an edge and not the typical nice guy who is already too nice. Good stuff, you’ve really thought about this stuff, thank you.

  • @marcellowoodford4048
    @marcellowoodford4048 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This Lady Speaks A lot of Truth!

  • @80americarlos
    @80americarlos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow. There's not many honest women like this one around. I'm glad more and more women are coming out and speaking the truth about the blindspots and confessing/admitting them to us men who need to know. Thanks for sharing this. I believe it required a good measure of vulnerability to do all of it. Keep up the good work.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      thanks a lot for the kind words. Like I said in the video there are many honest women around but I am very glad it helped

    • @80americarlos
      @80americarlos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mynonleatherlife You're welcome. I wish there were more who spoke up.

  • @nickkamenev8281
    @nickkamenev8281 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Awesome video with excellent information! It explains so much. Also, now that I'm seeing it more and more online, self-awareness is something that I'm starting to find attractive in women (it didn't even occur to me that I would find it attractive in the past).

  • @petermartin9494
    @petermartin9494 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dear Victoria. I struggle to express how impressed I am. Your honesty and your insight is simply amazing. I wish I knew the things you are explaining when I was 28.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I also wish I knew the things I am explaining at 28 but thanks so much Peter

  • @336snake
    @336snake ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I thank the universe for giving you so much self awareness. In this time when the world is moving so much faster than old times, we need to keep up with the human mind that has become so addictive and thirsty for instant gratification. Thank you for all your videos.

  • @antcastle8365
    @antcastle8365 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love the idea behind explaining these. You are so understanding about people and honest, i wish more women and well more people in general were more like u. Youre boyfriend is a very lucky person. I know society says we're not supposed to ask women their age, but you have an unusual amount of wisdom for someone that looks so young and i dont agree with everything about society anyway so im gonna ask and if u dont wanna answer obviously u dont have to, how old ARE u?

  • @victorg3232
    @victorg3232 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Victoria. You are truly a God-sent with your enlighting messages and break-downs of the material you cover. So many guys, men (and ironically - as a further consequence - the women themselves) litterally SUFFER (and worse) from the consequence of not being aware of the dynamics and biases you explain here and in your other videos.
    Your mentioned no. 1 blind spot is SO revevant and most important!!. I actally heard it first from Stirling Cooper recent interview/podcast with Donovan Sharpe (btw, YOUR interview with Stirling originally made me aware of him - HUUUGE thank you for that), where Stirling basically said that "the only men women can refer to are the ones they either f¤cked or wanted to f¤ck, but somehow missed out on.". But you, Victoria, break it down so much better than the short version Stirling provided :-) T.Y.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      thanks so much Victor. I am so glad you understand the message I was going for and don't just see it as more reason to hate women. You put it so well too. Have u got a lot out of stirling's advice?

    • @victorg3232
      @victorg3232 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife Thank you. Yes, you both are a high-grade goldmine of usable and actionable knowledge. Especially the kind that helps not just hyping one's confidence up, but setting the guy's fundamental mindset right. Because the stuff in and the way you (and Stirling) cover in your content is so deep-core clarifying of the real "state of affairs" in dating/sex dynamics, that once you learn and understand it, then it's impossible to continue getting just as frustrated and self-doubtfull as before over the surface/symptomatic issues e.g. women's over-pickyness, entitledness, flaking etc. So going forward one just calmly knows you have to roll with the punches and can better navigate, negotiate and dealing with them - especially mentally. Happened to me thrice last week alone: one flaked-out after rather enthusiasticly agreeing to a 2nd date (ex-b.f.-relationship restart-attempt..), another didn't even show up or texted anything since clearly and gladly agreeing to a 1st date, and a 3rd one I don't even remember what the deal was.. and the 4th/5th? agreed to a 1st date for tomorrow, but I wouldn't be shocked anymore, if than one also flakes out for whatever reason despite probably the best and short text chat I've had so far plus a super fun later phonecall and date-setting up two days ago - apropos the blind spot no. 2 - I know how bad streaks go :-/ ).
      Thank you again and God bless.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@victorg3232 exactly the attitude I wish more people took...very awesome

  • @ronlugbill1400
    @ronlugbill1400 3 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    No. 6. Women do not understand the effect a marriage, a live-in relationship (which in many states is a common law marriage) or a divorce has on a man. Losing your children, your house, your friends, and having to pay someone who hates you and alienates your children from you, after you devoted your life to them and supported them. Since women are protected in divorce and have been taught this fairy tale image of marriage their entire lives, they cannot see marriage or divorce from a male perspective. They have no idea why men do not want to get married and they have no interest in learning why a man feels the way he does about marriage or live-in relationships.

    • @clickmcclick2675
      @clickmcclick2675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      100 they dont care

    • @lordofgingers
      @lordofgingers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Exactly. Many of them (my mother included) speak from the perspective of a successful marriage and they’re like “how could you not want to?”
      Idk. How could I not want to play Russian roulette?

    • @tixeright9120
      @tixeright9120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@lordofgingers survivor and champion selection in relationships creates a lot of bad advice based on rare opportunities that are not easily duplicated. The reality is men have to work with women, and hear them plot their divorce strategies and affairs in the break room all the time, and to us it doesn't like they are committed to anything, so why would they want that commitment from us? A lot of them want the wedding, and the honeymoon, and that's it. It's a fantasy they are in pursuit of.... I am protected from marriage pressure in relationships, my approach is alright you want to get married, sounds great, let's meet each other's in-laws, (if they are supportive) let's get pre-marriage counseling, and a pre-nup signed in the presence of an attorney, pick out some rings that don't cost a fortune, (you want to do things the old way, and want real diamonds, heh, have you ever heard of a diamond anniversary) and then make our engagement official. My goal is to make the engagement as arranged as possible. It slows things down and takes the focus of the rush towards fulfilling wedding fantasy. And you would think that you wouldn't need to do this with divorcee's but many of them want to double or triple down on marriage. Also, my premarital conditions before any of this is considered is that a woman be fertile, and willing to have my children, and not an alcoholic, junkie, hoarder, or endless eater, because weddings, honeymoons, and marriages serve no purpose for a man that isn't making a family. If it's just about sex, there will always be hookers and mistresses, and women who are done having kids, and don't care about commitment as much as the professional house wives. If it's about relationship, a woman who actually loves you sticks around even if you deny her, at least for a while. Hell, they might even divorce you and still try to win you back over, whenever they missing you. My goal in any relationship is to show a woman that my reservations against cohabitation and marriage are not absolutes, they are premeditated based on all the couples I've seen, all the marriages and all the divorces. They are not much different than the kinds of standards women have for spreading their legs.... if and when they have standards for that. I try to make relationships about love & comradery. They start asking about marriage, it's time to talk about responsibility, and exclusivity, and the purpose of marriage (once supported by Church and State) being procreation and family management. (Not hurdle on the path to divorce. Not a fantasy. Not an acceptance that Happy Wife = Happy Life.) You can actually reclaim your masculinity just by being hardcore about marriage. It frees you up to be loving, and possibly even very committed, but also standing your ground on a important issue. It's a good break up condition if she wants more than you will be willing to give. I personally don't like stringing women along, so I'm right up front about it, at least when they actually want to talk about it.

    • @lordofgingers
      @lordofgingers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@tixeright9120 I agree with pretty much everything you said but two points I really want to single out there “she might even try to win you back after the divorce.”
      No she overplayed her hand and realized you were the best pick of the litter after all. People who operate on this auto pilot cave people mating strategy instead of using their frontal lobe to override and take responsibility (a cool ability humans have) is what causes a lot of problems like these plots concocted in your workplace conference rooms.
      The second point really drives it home and women don’t get this. The standards they have to give access to their bodies? That is what we see as their equivalent of the standards we have for commitment.
      As you said there are no absolutes in life, but I’m not gonna take a woman who turns her nose up at sacrifice and accountability seriously

    • @clickmcclick2675
      @clickmcclick2675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      i was talking to a 20 year old girl yesterday telling her i might get married but only if they changed the laws. and she looked at me innocently and said wait, what laws?...... they dont even know... they're too focused on themselves to even find out 1/3 of men just quit the game

  • @curiosi-tea6914
    @curiosi-tea6914 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    #5 is a big issue between my wife and I, even after 14 years of marriage. We don't have any kids, so our home life is pretty quite and can get a bit boring, but even when opportunities come up where I could just take off and go do things that I am interested in, my wife wants me to stay home because she doesn't feel safe without me. It's nice to know that she loves having me around, but then I feel like I'm not really being a man that she can respect if I don't go after what I want. But when I decided to "be a man" took up passing opportunities that interested me, she was literally terrified saying she couldn't trust me if I wasn't going to be there for her. In frustration I told her that I was her husband not her babysitter, and now she's all mad because she thinks I told her she's not "my baby" anymore.

  • @SpotlessLeopard
    @SpotlessLeopard 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It's offering me all these old videos and they're very interesting.
    You speak with a refreshing honesty and theres a lot to learn.
    We think we know everything about women, but that's like saying we've seen all of the universe.
    Fair play to ya Mrs.

  • @kevinjohnson4415
    @kevinjohnson4415 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Hi Victoria, Kevin here from Yorkshire, England, many thanks for uploading your last video, much of what you said made perfect sence to and confirmed much of what I thought about women, I have to say all men of all ages still have problems when dating women, personally I just let the ladies do all the talking and I usually to do all the listening, this usually works for me. I will point out though that I am 6ft.2, masculine fit and athletic with no egos or emotional baggage, I still don't find casual sex easy to find living in Yorkshire. Regards Kevin

    • @tlewis84able
      @tlewis84able 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Maybe if you treat them as “less than you” you will see a difference in the their attraction. Unfortunate but true.

    • @gbjanuary
      @gbjanuary 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      To be honest most women like guys who say the right thing and talk. Listening will be turn off for them if your not responding to what they are saying.

  • @nomorelies1867
    @nomorelies1867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Another blind spot Id like to point out. Why we are very reserved and dont give up too much about ourselves/ dont socialize too much/ arent comfortable with emotions. Maybe not all men go through this but depending on your upbringing you were taught that displays of emotion are weak, talking about a problem is weak, backing down from a challenge is cowardly, failure is not an option, and that you must be willing to endure all things that come your way without cracking. follow these rules your whole life and what you end up with is what society seems to have a problem with today. A mans man.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      great point! yea women hear about this but we never experience it first hand...like we never have our dad actually yelling at us calling a crybaby or whatever happens...so we really don't feel it on a gut level and can't understand the results from it as well as other guys can I'm sure

  • @NickMillzzz
    @NickMillzzz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This makes a ton of sense! Thank you! Been waiting for a new video from ya, thanks!!

  • @jamesthompson316
    @jamesthompson316 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your doing a good job helping men and I’m sure women too, I’m in my 60’s and a widow so I can’t change what’s gone or any regrets now but boy how I could have used your channel way back, I’m pleased particularly for the younger guys who need this knowledge

  • @eduline
    @eduline 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is EXCELLENT! Very articulate, you are a master communicator. You are really seeing both sides. Thank you.

  • @greggardner4940
    @greggardner4940 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    For being the more empathetic of the two sexes women seem to view reality exclusively from a female point of view and expect men to fall in line with their female expectations and are appalled when men don't obey thusly.
    I really appreciate your honesty in these videos. You cut through all the BS brilliantly.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you're right they do but but trust me there are plenty of blind spots on both sides.

    • @marlonmoncrieffe0728
      @marlonmoncrieffe0728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Oh my God! You're right!
      Women ARE supposed to be the more empathetic gender yet they are SO clueless to certain aspects of sexual dynamics.

    • @sonnyjay1432
      @sonnyjay1432 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Women are not really empathetic as you think, even tho they are suppose to be so. More men are empathetic from what I have observed.

  • @smartmonsters9387
    @smartmonsters9387 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Good Shit!! they need that, because basically everybody is afraid to admit that they want to sleep with everybody they're attractive to whether you married or not.

  • @nrudy
    @nrudy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    #3 upsets men because it's wanting special treatment, not equality. If you want to be "treated equally" that means like the men I'm not romantically interested in. I don't have to pay my friend's bill to go out to eat with them. I don't have to buy them gifts in order for them to be my friends. I understand the desire to be treated romantically but... you know, then say that, not "I want equality." It seems like women have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a man (shocking) but they tend to act like they do. My experience is as soon as you treat a woman the exact same way you would a man (equality), she's usually upset by it.

    • @Bubbles-od2tv
      @Bubbles-od2tv ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So maybe just date a man then.

  • @Thinker1985
    @Thinker1985 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Some of the deepest insights I have read on the subject. Thank you also for summarizing your points in the video description.

  • @matt.cooper.
    @matt.cooper. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is a brilliant video. Many men have identified these behaviours and speak about them as coaches, however, the concise explanation of the thought processes behind women’s blind spots has not explained before from what I’ve seen. Well done for your accurate analysis.

  • @TreyDZd
    @TreyDZd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Women definitely don't realize how easy it is for them to get sexual gratification and im glad you touched on that. This kind of thing is what shaped societal expectations for men and women. Some think its sexist to call a man attempting to seduce a woman "the chase" but that really is what it is in the end. Social and self awareness are instrumental to understanding these conditions

    • @tommasocazzaniga1713
      @tommasocazzaniga1713 ปีที่แล้ว

      "gratification"? Most men are desperate and have no standards, so they'd happily bang anything that breathes.. And they usually are not great lovers and come before she does, so good luck getting "gratification" when 99% of the times by jumping on the first male you meet all you get is bad to mediocre sex. Nevermind that many men despise such easy women, so that's the underlying energy while she f+cks you (while probably thinking about someone else).. But of course if he's really sex starved then his energy will be a beggar's one, wow how enjoyable to mate at that level lol

  • @PeterJames143
    @PeterJames143 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    That first one is such a perfect explanation. Selection bias. They want the sensitive guy (the most sensitive badass take no prisoners asshole).

    • @noobie7719
      @noobie7719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yep...you nailed it!! 👍

    • @breakingthemasks
      @breakingthemasks 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bingo

    • @petroglyph79
      @petroglyph79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      But that's a fantasy just like the perfect guy. The perfect guy is actually found in pieces in multiple guys. That's why they can never find a perfect guy because he doesn't exist. They are delusional

    • @RS-xo7rd
      @RS-xo7rd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      As a sensitive bloke myself, I recognise that women want a sensitive man , but cannot deal with them because they fail to recognise that what upsets them in a relationship can also upset a man. ~In the same way, they also fail to understand that many of the foreplay activities a man might do with them would would be appreciated in return; back to the one way performance expectation always placed on men. In case you are wondering, I do like women, but they seemingly fail to want me.

    • @gogglessukass7852
      @gogglessukass7852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@RS-xo7rd I guess I’m a “sensitive” type as well. But it’s never helped. The moment I suffocate my feelings and just act like an animal I seem to attract women. Like at the bar I’ve had women many times approach me when Im in a mood of not caring anymore. All I’ve learned from women is they hate sensitive men.

  • @matasuki
    @matasuki 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    As a former dancer you are perfect type of guest for Fresh N Fit podcast as a special female guest! We put you in a room with other females and it would make for a great discussion

    • @breakingthemasks
      @breakingthemasks 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Um, yes.
      I would watch the hell out of that episode. 👍

    • @CaptainBudak
      @CaptainBudak 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same good call

    • @kolawoleolayiwola3252
      @kolawoleolayiwola3252 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hell yeah

    • @BahnLife
      @BahnLife 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      *We need to spam Fresh&Fit to react to this video or get her on the show.*

    • @RS-xo7rd
      @RS-xo7rd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Would be wonderful to see.

  • @Immortalgoofy
    @Immortalgoofy ปีที่แล้ว

    Sensitive and lifelong nice guy here. It’s refreshing to hear that I don’t need to be nicer to have a more successful dating life. Been raised my whole life with the opposite mentality and I can assure you that shit does NOT work. I’m naturally good looking and pretty confident but the mentality that it’s not okay for men to be dominant, fierce, don’t give a fuck, has reallllly hurt me over the years. Appreciate you

    • @uniquechannelnames
      @uniquechannelnames ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just make sure that doesn't turn into abuse, anger problems, controlling behavior etc.. it's a fine line sometimes! best of luck out there

  • @76MUTiger
    @76MUTiger 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Another blind spot: I don't know if all men's jobs have this, but in mine it was a lot of professional conflict and trials. Most days were a battle. And I had no interest in recounting that to her. It's not her fault that I didn't tell her a lot, but she knew enough to know that was the nature of my professional world. Escape was an important part of the antidote. Escape to home, to a relationship that wasn't (most of the time) another battle.

  • @davidnelson6649
    @davidnelson6649 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Truly incredible video. it is amazing how you are able to convey women's thoughts on a matter and are able to see thru the lens of a man's thoughts as well. I would like to add a very important note Blind Spot #2. There is also a biological component for men that "might" be different from women. Hopefully this doesn't sound too bad but there is also a "pressure" that gets built up in men that needs to be "released". As the pressure gets higher, the need for sex increases. This may explain why men have a high demand for sex. Usually after the pressure is released from the valve, men tend to be able to think clearer. If you know what I mean. This is very real and very biological. I think this is major component to blind spot#2 that some women may not realize.

  • @suleimanatta
    @suleimanatta 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I just had to tell the love of my life yesterday that I've chosen to stop waiting for her. The thing is she broke up with me about 10 months ago but a part of me just kept waiting for her to come back. I gave everything. But she wanted everything else no matter how hard i was trying. I believe that women don't understand men cause if they did the world will be less hurtful for all involved. I wish her the best and hope she finds what she's looking for. I will try to make sense of life moving forward. Any men out there suffering the same thing please be strong. Women may never get it so always remember to just live.

    • @Pimp-Master
      @Pimp-Master 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dude, she wasn’t into you. You are chocked to the brim with romantic fantasies.

    • @suleimanatta
      @suleimanatta 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Pimp-Master thank you for your awesome revelation. How did i not figure this out. Wow thanks so much. Now I know

    • @sonmohikan5964
      @sonmohikan5964 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      God damn this is the same fucking thing that ı experienced. We broke up like 10 month ago and it was so fucking stupid , we were talking on phone and all of a sudden we argued then never talked again. She was the love of my life and we were together for like 5 years and we experienced every fucking thing we could experience. And ı waited for her to come back because she was the one that got cold all of a sudden and she knew if she did come back ı wouldn make it hard for her.
      2 days ago ı got tired and messaged her, now she is playing games doesnt say no bot doesnt say yes neither.

    • @reuelbenisrael9114
      @reuelbenisrael9114 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Woman don’t know what men wants

    • @reuelbenisrael9114
      @reuelbenisrael9114 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Looking up Kevin Samuels and stephon cold put you on some game it will change your life 💯

  • @Armando_Lara
    @Armando_Lara 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Another Blind Spot is that women don't realize all the hard work men need to do in order to get laid or establish a good relationship, that is, being emotionally strong, having experience, having financial stability and leadership, this is not solidly accomplished until a certain age. However they are already born with most of their sexual value which reaches its peak very early in life (late teens, early twenties)

    • @WatchDoggyDog
      @WatchDoggyDog 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You really need to get to fucking earlier on as a man as you said, thank God I got mines, at whatever expense, hahaaa

    • @Baz_09
      @Baz_09 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's why men are so valuable

    • @Armando_Lara
      @Armando_Lara 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Baz_09 some men only, very few imo, those who do the work in all aspects of life

    • @timgibney5590
      @timgibney5590 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If we stop simping and paying Only fans to get them to like us and over testing they will stop asking this. Simple

  • @sajjadabouei6721
    @sajjadabouei6721 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I dont know
    that how helpful your videos are to a man that has nobody to really explain what is really happening inside a woman head
    thank you 💙💙

  • @JQuintero189
    @JQuintero189 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I found out very early on that not giving a fuck was the key to women and for many years I did just that it was very successful, but I will say it gets tiresome to constantly act like you don’t give a fuck when in reality everybody cares and all men Would like to just relax around the woman and for her to be respectful and caring. The sad part is as soon as you request the nice and caring part by opening up, that’s the moment you lost that woman therefore, men cannot be weak around women if they wanna keep them

  • @paulwilliams3846
    @paulwilliams3846 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Absolutely brilliant. It's healing for men but all women should hear this too.

  • @dustybryan91
    @dustybryan91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    One thing I notice is that most women have almost a complete lack of empathy for men and don't seem to understand how hard it is for us to approach and talk to them. Take me for example, it took me years to get somewhat comfortable with approaching women. It was a lot of hard work and forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone over and over again. Meanwhile, women just stand there and look pretty and judge us. Sometimes it seems completely unfair and one sided.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      yes that is actually a blind spot I wanted to add in but couldn't fit and will go in my next blind spot video. I hope I will be able to get it across but they project an image of hypermasculinity on men and therefore think it doesn't hurt men like it does. I agree it's a big big blindspot. They're also very threatened and scared at times due to the sex negative beliefs we have all been brought up with so it brings up a lot of fear, shame and insecurity when men approach us in a way that we sense is only for our appearance or to get sex. But the way they act can be extremely damaging and hurtful to men, u are right

    • @henrikljungstrand2036
      @henrikljungstrand2036 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Women usually do have empathy for scared men. But empathy is not sexual attraction. Being insecure enough not to approach a woman is in itself very unattractive and boring. There is no right for either men or women to have a sex partner without doing the proper work, which mainly comes down to internal work of self love, confidence, setting healthy boundaries, not being needy, and taking it slow, calm and playful. It is also important (for both men and women) to cultivate an abundance mentality of "i am the price, anyone rejecting me is merely losing out, culling the dating pool so i can find a better match for me".
      Also, instead of whining about being judged by women, you should do the same with them. Not judging a woman shows you are a low quality man i.e. unattractive. Women expect high quality men to judge them, because they do, and usually only women of high enough quality get the price.
      The best way to get a high quality woman (or any woman) is to BE a high quality man with self love, confidence, self respect, and a rich life outside dating. And to judge women for who might be a good enough match, and judge not only based on appearances, but actually test women during flirtation and even more during dating. Most women love this game, and want to prove themselves to be good enough for a non desperate, hopefully good man interested in her.

    • @henrikljungstrand2036
      @henrikljungstrand2036 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mynonleatherlife The best i think women can do in the dating game in order to be "fair" towards men, without settling for less than they desire and deserve themselves (women should also be secure enough not to settle for just any man, just like men should be secure enough not to settle for any woman), is to be brutally honest, yet playful to a guy who is flirting with her in the wrong way, like telling him "Come back when you have learned real confidence in yourself, and maybe i will change my mind. Confident men who know what they want and do not flatter women merely to please us are SOOO sexy!"
      Guilt tripping women merely for not being attracted to weak men will not solve the issues, just like guilt tripping men for not being attracted to charmless women will not solve anything either.
      All men and women who seriously wish to enter the dating game in order to hopefully find a good partner have to do the hard work of self love, confidence and making themselves successful and attractive, and then flirt lightly and confidently with neighbours, coworkers etc or with personal ads or dating apps, until mutual interest is sparked.
      And those who just desire one night stands will have to cultivate either hyper masculinity or hyper femininity to some extent, and use hookup apps or flirt confidently with others at a bar or nightclub.

    • @dustybryan91
      @dustybryan91 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@henrikljungstrand2036
      People who are condescending and say "just do the work" never actually spent more than a decade of their lives doing the work with no success. So screw off with your condescension and simplistic advice.

    • @marlonmoncrieffe0728
      @marlonmoncrieffe0728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👍 Thanks,@@henrikljungstrand2036!

  • @dwayneneal3342
    @dwayneneal3342 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I try to figure out women about every day of my life and I'm 38 years old,of course I go by my own life and how I've been treated by women and what I see on a daily basis. And I dont know if I'll ever figure it out. Because I have worked in a customer service for the past 3 years,I have seen couples and I'm like how is she attracted to him but I'm stuck being single and treated ugly and like crap. But then there is couples and I'm like yeah that makes sense why shes with him. Hes a big guy,has a career ,big truck,house, or hes good looking. I am stuck to trying on dating apps because I only go to work or stores and dont want go look like a fool and get rejected at them places. But dating apps lol they judge you by your pics, height,career and all the shallow stuff. And if you're not seen as good looking ,masculine,sexy ,and have career ,then it's going to be really rough on there.

    • @RS-xo7rd
      @RS-xo7rd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agree

    • @tsuney2950
      @tsuney2950 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Looks is everything, the rest is pure cope.

    • @dwayneneal3342
      @dwayneneal3342 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tsuney2950 it mostly is, but I'm telling you some of the guys I see with women I'm like wtf how is she attracted to him. And I get treated like crap and rejected.

    • @tsuney2950
      @tsuney2950 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dwayneneal3342 betaxbuxxing hard brother.

    • @dwayneneal3342
      @dwayneneal3342 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tsuney2950 not some of them

  • @MrRumcajs1000
    @MrRumcajs1000 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your self awareness, honesty and willingness to share at a cost of being vulnerable in hopes of helping men who hear this is so refreshing. Thank you so, so much!

  • @Gretsch0997
    @Gretsch0997 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi thanks for the confirmation on those two points. It is validating to hear this out loud.

  • @Bia-rx8wf
    @Bia-rx8wf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Hello. I really like your videos, they really helped me in my journey towards self-awareness. I used to be in that rebel phase and point fingers at men and say theyre the problem, thing is when i point fingers I automatically victimized myself. It wasnt peaceful nor did I understand myself any better and didnt feel as strong as I wanted to. I realised that we give the “nice guys advice” because we dont want to go back to the reality from back when women were too dependent on men to live and had to live through the abuse like in the 50s. But throughout evolution our instincts and urges remain the same. I think women are not attracted to aggressivity itself but to the masculine energy associated with that agressivity that emits from the guy in bed. That is the only explanation because we DO NOT like nor want to be slapped, objectified or called whores on the streets and in any normal setting, but it is a turn on in bed. The whole “lady in the streets freak in the sheets” shebang also apply for men lol. A lot of women are still struggling with these things i believe, instead of getting angry at them and point fingers I suggest to open an honest conversation without attacking them or victimizing yourselves like I used to.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      wow Bia this is so fascinating to hear. I also used to be in that phase and assume men were the problem. I love how u said that when u point fingers u automatically victimized yourself. damn so well said. i totally agree that we are scared of living thru that abuse in our far too recent past again and scared to admit vulnerability or weakness again. And I agree it is evolutionary urges or instincts that we have to manage and fulfill consensually and that is not easy to deal with for many women or understand or manage. I appreciate your comment a lot and u said it so perfectly. Now I see both men and women having blindspots instead of only men like I used to. And also I try to accept the importance of embracing and fulfilling consensually in a way I want any instincts that came along for the ride from my ancestors.

    • @staffan144
      @staffan144 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can say that i hate when people victimize themselves, or some group claiming to be victims, because they are [then] placing blame on others.

    • @staffan144
      @staffan144 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife amazing channel btw

    • @Bia-rx8wf
      @Bia-rx8wf 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@staffan144 this is not about you but ok lol

    • @staffan144
      @staffan144 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Bia-rx8wf what? Of course you are not talking about me. I read your comment and posted my response, what I was thinking about after having read it. That's all.
      My comment was about there being lots of 'woke' people in today's world, blaming everyone else but themselves for imagined oppressions etc.

  • @ciela9263
    @ciela9263 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wish you made more videos! Love your work, thank you. 😊

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      thank u Ciel A. Do you have any topics u would want a vid on?

    • @ciela9263
      @ciela9263 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife Hi! Personally I would benefit from more info about dealing with “bratty” behavior. Texting is also a challenging space. I feel like I could be getting better results.
      However one of the things I love about your content is addressing areas I didn’t even think of or consider.
      Cheers!

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ciela9263 Those are fantastic ideas, thank you. I will consider those topics

  • @jamiemahoney2446
    @jamiemahoney2446 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Regarding #1.
    I think that because of this, 80% of men are trying to adopt and adapt to this.

  • @benkikz
    @benkikz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just stambled upon your channel vicky- I am mind blown that your videos go way back (2-3 years) unlike the current online mensophere and redpill culture blowing up. I can tell you are enlightened truly

    • @miguelpereira9859
      @miguelpereira9859 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Redpill culture goes way back aswell

  • @WalkingTall-f1j
    @WalkingTall-f1j ปีที่แล้ว

    Keep on teaching and preaching, sister!!!!!!!! I'm waiting on the part that explains how and why most women literally don't know what they want!

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      why do u assume they don't know what they want

    • @WalkingTall-f1j
      @WalkingTall-f1j ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@mynonleatherlife​​@mynonleatherlife ​Thank you for replying!!!!! I was referring to the ladies who I've been friends with (not potential bedmates) who say they're looking for a specific type guy, pass over the type of guy they say they're looking for, and end up choosing a guy that is the opposite of the type of guy they say they want. And the relationship of course doesn't last because it's not the type of guy they're looking for. These are the women who say they love sex but haven't had it in years because they can't find the right guy. Don't know if this makes sense. I just though of the word describing what they're doing to themselves, contradicting! Keep up the great service!!!!

  • @RobinRobertsesq
    @RobinRobertsesq 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Hooray, A new video.

  • @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx
    @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    @MyNonLeatherLife You really are ridiculously intelligent and insightful. I love listening to your perspectives. Reframing these issues as "blindspots" alters everything and is incredibly helpful. It really makes sense of a lot of things that have puzzled me for decades. That was an amazing video. Best, Lore🍃🌿🌱

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lore yay I'm so thrilled to hear that. I appreciate it a lot that u understand the nuance there with how these are blindspots not evil malicious premeditated actions!!

  • @leshardley4248
    @leshardley4248 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Great video!!! Thank you for seeing the dating world from a male perspective.. or should I say a more "balanced" perspective. Here's my response to some of your blind spot summary:
    1. Women want you to be more like women but REALLY want James Bond. If you act like a woman she will either put you in the "friend zone" or eventually leave you for a James Bond type.
    2-6: Women exercise "Hypergamy". They want the best man they can find. Therefore 80% of women sleep with 20% or less of men. So yes getting sex is rare for men. I have a group of 5 close friends. I'd say 2 of us have slept with 100s of women while the other 3 I'd say less than 20. Women can have sex whenever they want but not with the guys they want. Again women want sex but with only rhe 20% or less of men. The solution to the problem we are having as a society is to legalize prostitution as crazy as that sounds. That will allow the majority of men who only want sex to have it when they want. I believe this will not only clear the dating market but also reduce violence in our society, not mention women would be approached by men who really want relationships not just sex. With the creation of dating apps, Sugar Daddy's, Sugar Babies, sex dolls/robots, Onlyfans etc. I believe the government will realize the billions of tax dollars they are missing out on. Similar to what happened with the legalization of marijuana. For now relationships and marriage are dead, look at the data. Technology is only going to make this worse, unless a major change to out society is made🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree with everything except i think women can have sex with the guys they want just not relationships with them. It is easy for women to sleep with even the best looking guys in the world it's just u might not see him again. you make some great points and I agree with the solution completely. It should be totally legalized and that's interesting that u see it happening soon...great point. I also like how you characterized the guy as a james bond type in 1. I was having a hard time summarizing all the characteristics that make a guy cool in a girl's eyes because there are quite a few they're looking for.

    • @leshardley4248
      @leshardley4248 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mynonleatherlife Thank you, but I must say I have turned down numerous women in my lifetime.. I'm 54 now. Even today women I went to highschool and college with are constantly contacting me on social media but I have no interest in them now because I'm am fortunate to able to date women 40 and under. It's not intentional it just has happened that way😉😉 Some may think I'm exaggerating but feel free to look me up. Les Hardley is my real name, and I would say can complete with men of any age in terms of looks, body and career. I'm not saying all this to brag🙏🏾🙏🏾but merely to make it clear that NO women cannot sleep with any man they want. I'm just a regular guy, how may millions of women want to sleep with Brad Pitt or James Bond for that matter that NEVER will😉🙏🏾

    • @marlonmoncrieffe0728
      @marlonmoncrieffe0728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mynonleatherlife Yeah, women gatekeep sex but men gatekeep commitment.
      I am pro-legalization of prostitution on Libertarian grounds but that also makes sense.

    • @zykinfie6282
      @zykinfie6282 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I disagree with legalizing prostitution, we've already created a society that capitalizing on basic human needs. Capitalizing off intimacy is actually worse than doing it with food and water. Mental and emotional needs are more important than physical, it's basic knowledge, depressed people will neglect their physical needs. One can argue, not all men want intimacy but only sex. But you see, those men already have sex men that desire intimacy are more sensitive. Insecurities, anxious, etc etc. Those type of men want someone to rely on, connect with not just a one night stand. Those type of men are left out of the dating zone as well and left in the friend zone as second class. The violence of incels are a cry for help, I won't go into more details to prevent more psyop analysis to be used against them.
      Tl;Dr: sensitive men left in friend zone, they want something more stable not temporary. Using vulnerable desires to capitalize off of is not a route we should shift society, and meeting emotion needs is the first step to change the social structure.

    • @somedude5951
      @somedude5951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I live in a country where prostitution is legal, it doesn't solve these issues.

  • @DavidJ-ty5jm
    @DavidJ-ty5jm 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Very intelligently made and insightful video young lady.. well done 💯

  • @mariogallo2006
    @mariogallo2006 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m a knowledgeable intensive type guy so I always do a lot of research and learning and in the world of dating this woman is throwing it down! Braking it down! Pretty FRICKEN solid

  • @hattricksoup5929
    @hattricksoup5929 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    On blind spot #4: Women (including you) seem to want to remain as entitled as possible with men paying the cost for that level of entitlement. They want power but to maintain little to no accountability for any burdensome outcomes that might result from exercising it. That's seen as being for men to bare on their behalf. If men are going to continue to bare these traditional responsibilities, they need to maintain appropriate corresponding levels of authority over women. This is why relationships become less and less desirable for men as female empowerment (entitlement) grows to more and more ridiculously absurd levels.

    • @uwillsubscribe
      @uwillsubscribe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Perfectly said

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      how absurd. as if people can't have fantasies or kinks without being abused in real life. dark monogamy fantasies existed in people before the "female power movement" lol. Read the book "a lover's pinch" about the history of kink.

    • @snoochieboochies2011
      @snoochieboochies2011 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mynonleatherlife I don't get the hate honestly

    • @simbiotik8480
      @simbiotik8480 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bear not bare!

    • @WindspriteM
      @WindspriteM 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Dude, it's not about leaving ALL the responsibilities in real life to the guy, just specifically the romance related ones. I think you misunderstand how the dark monogamy thing really works, because it doesn't require you to be an overpowering sugar daddy dom who controls every aspect of her life.
      On the contrary, that has nothing to do with it. Understand the truth in seeming contradiction and tension as it is, rather than trying to logick yourself into trying to fit it into either a manosphere narrative or what you think feminist ideology is will not help you either way.
      i.e. basically women hope and wish for men to set up romantic dinners for valentines day for them
      but if it comes to non-romantic activities, like say, going hiking together, washing the car, making money, women, at least those women you actually want to date, are obviously going to pick up the slack, because anything else wouldn't be very pragmatic unless you are filthy rich.
      feminism started in the upper classes, so a lot of the arguments and points about patriarchy and male privileges were from a point of view of male-female relationships in the upper classes, where it was indeed the case that women were resigned to sitting around, bossing their maids and having their husbands handle the totality of finances, but that was never true for working class women in any day and age and it's also imo NOT the actual quintessence of the dark monogamy thing