As a woman, kind of agree with this. There are archetypal desires of women, some sxual, some social etc all based on primal instincts from our prehistoric ancestry. The prince charming rescuer/being the chosen woman of the alpha male is one of the most potent archetypes to make women fall in love. The r*pe/degradation fantasy of being totally surenderred/loss of control while being brought to extreme pleasure with zero responsibility by a highly skilled dominating male is another one.
@@tlewis84able its well known that certain physical features are considered attractive, those having certain looks , smell (pheromones) etc get chosen by opposite sx. These features signal fertility, good genes / genetic compatibility etc
I think one of the reasons women dont speak their mind on this subject is because it kills the fantasy of it. Kind of like the joke is worthless if you have to explain it. The fantasy works especially well if they are fighting against it and they still get it.
Yeap definitely. And as a guy I also really don't like the whole dom/sub dynamic. Kinda noticed it in the bedroom I guess it makes sense from a natural instinct standpoint but. Can't say I like it, actually kinda disgusts me somehow, but then again. People don't always have full control of who they are, what they like or how they turn out. Neither can I, sadly majority of us are still just born with still very primal brains living in modern times.
Veronica you are so so right. I saw my my ex when I was way younger, 26, go through a lot of these phases (we only split up because her family emigrated - she was Aussie) now that you point them out. She cried and cried for months after we split up. But when we were going strong, even without my planning it, but by the end of it it was a lot like stage 8. I remember once I was in the queue at Boots, we had gone in together and then she needed to go outside quickly and she came to me to tell me but was almost like asking permission from me. Then times we would go out and she would always go off and dance and whatever but she would always come back and report to me and ask me if should get me things. I look back and obviously this is a public forum so we must be PG13 but I can see a lot what you were saying in how she behaved.
Guys, this is one of the most self aware, nuanced, analytical, and insightful channels on the Tube!! Your honesty & authenticity are highly laudable. You are a national treasure. Maybe you could help clarify for me, and demystify for anyone else who too might be in the dark- Another aspect of the "rocket science" of female sexuality?? I understand that women differ from one another, as well as throughout the month it may vary, but a rough outline would still be really helpful. If you could please address any of the questions you think might be educational & useful. (In video or otherwise, whatever is easier for you.) Thanks 1. Do women crave as intensely & viscerally to LOOK at, and touch, the male body (Ex: forearms, shoulders, hands, muscles etc.) in the same manner we may hunger for the female body? 2. When a woman sees a man in a well tailored suit does it trigger "sexual longing", in the same way a female showing skin (sexually) might cause in men? 3. Is sexual excitement binary (similar to us men; we are either not thinking about sexual excitement or we have been triggered and now have to consciously address it, either by squashing it or.....) or does it have many stages like 1-10 ladder, an all day slow simmer? 4. Are there actions that do not seem to trigger sexual excitement in men, but for women they seem to? (Compliments, attention tenderness, etc.). Thank you very much for always sharing your insight and thoughts. Keep up the great work!
wow these are really fantastic questions thank you. I will give u my short answers, maybe I can make a vid to address it further. 1. in my opinion not really the same. it is way less intense. but this fantasy that i'm mentioning creates an equivalent attraction to behaviors and actions men take. Like for me the facial expressions (that convey powerful masculine traits) a guy could make is prob as intense as a man staring at a female body part. 2. I'd say yes but maybe to a lesser degree 3. i didn't know about this binary. I think it depends how high the girl's sex drive is like for me it is pretty similar to a binary. But slowly escalating to turn a girl on is always extremely important if she is not experiencing extremely high spontaneous desire 4. There are so many, I will have to think about this one and start keeping a list as they come to me and thanks a lot for the encouragement
"Guys, this is one of the most self aware, nuanced, analytical, and insightful channels on the Tube!! Your honesty & authenticity are highly laudable. You are a national treasure." Absolutely correct, Pierre!
@@mynonleatherlife Very kind of you to take your time and provide such a detailed reply. So thank you! Now yes, the male species would certainly benefit from a "Victoria style" video on this topic. Below are a few more questions I have pondered- 1. How often does an innocuous sexual cue (ex: A masculine voice in a passing advertisement etc.)trigger a *want* for further sexual stimulation so as to help get to the point of sexual release (orgasm)? 4. Can visual sexual expression (Ex: Proactive NFL halftime show) alone be enough eroticism to evoke in a woman a desire for sexual release (as is very common for us men), or would she need a narrative to tie to it? 3. For Females the primary motivation for sexual contact is borne out of? A) Emotional Intimacy & mental connection B) Curiosity, adventure & pleasure C) Desire for satiation (Orgasm). 4. While in a healthy monogamous relationship, how often do sexual feelings get triggered in a woman from a coworker or friend etc. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts
@@pierrecamus You are utterly annoying. And national treasure? No wonder why brands pay millions to youtubers. There are impressionable people like you who puts people on pedestals.
You do a great job at describing the raw female instinct. My concern is that without a nuance understanding of males, females that run with these primal urges, outside of a true best friendship with the male, are setting themselves up to be used and discarded by the males. The male mind won’t commit to a female unless these two facts are present. That she is a steady source of sex and that she is only his source of sex. When a female shows up with this kink, seeking to engage the fantasy, the male easily will take advantage of the moment but won’t take her seriously beyond that moment. So in a situation of an unplanned pregnancy, or if she is having an affair or fling with him, he won’t be there for her. Her life will be turned upside down and she will be alone.
Think this is well explained Victoria. I've seen these mammal behavior in documentaries and the seemingly contradictory things in femal behavior. A lot of dot's joined👍
You are an angel, thank you for tangibly changing our lives for the better. You are the best guru I've encountered. May, you get everything you want. I say this on behalf of all men, we love you. ❤
@@mynonleatherlife Not yet. I've learnt a lot through almost all of your videos. I've understood the assignment very well, thanks to your videos. Currently working on myself to get to where I wanna be. But, will look for wifey when I'm ready. 😇
I am reading Owner and Owned. It is brilliant and goes exactly into that dark vortex. I have read The Story of O before and was bewildered by it but I'll read it again and think I'll get a better understanding of it. The Vortex is such a good way of describing this.
yea forget the story of O all u need is the one you are reading... if you understand that you will understand all the most submissive kinks in the most extreme form
@@mynonleatherlife That's the reality of many relationships where the husband has no idea what his wife is into and in certain cases she will even cheat on him to get her 'fix.' I wish more women were honest with their husbands about their fantasies but channels like urs will certainly help get the message across to men out there about what women truly want. So thank you for that.
I dig the way you explain things, and draw/map out simple diagrams. The "runway to peak arousal" is one ov my favorite videos from this channel. It makes perfect sense! Like if us men dont do the things to even get on the runway, then we're basically just taxiing around in circles around the airport! But if we want to ever take flight with an interested lady, we gotta do the things to get on the runway. My interactions with attractive ladies along my weekly routines definitely seems to progressing with the runway analogy in the back ov my mind lately. I met a nice lady the other day who is fresh out the Air Force reserves training and I realized I put her on the runway right away with my sense ov humor and great physique I think. She kept admiring the art on my ballcap and I was rocking a muscle shirt that day. I could tell later on that we BOTH were seizing every opportunity we would get to check each other out (while maintaining a professional setting. I think she is a CNA or something) Her body language was singing songs for me to take notice, appreciate, and show curiosity. I examined her and appreciated the slick ways she kept grabbing my attention and hoovering near me and around me. I came in the place smelling, looking, and feeling great. I feel like I can subtly yet confidently tap into her "sex brain," as Miss Victoria, would say LOL For some ov us out here, we find useful gems on this channel and you're speaking our language! 😊
Now the first step would be to ask her to tell about her day, and appear interested in what she's doing (if you're not really interested then you're just playing her and you don't deserve to be together anyway). Then take it forward with some light, nonsexual touching (good luck with that, I've never managed to get that far).
I just discovered your channel. I'm watching to gain insight into the mind of a woman. I've studied a lot of female psychology and am enjoying your take on the subject. I have a new girlfriend so I'll use this information as best as I can.
You have a very unique way of communicating ideas around men women and sex especially from the female perspective. I've heard and have known the underlying concepts you spoke about but I've never heard anyone phrase the concepts the way you do with depth from the female perspective. Sometimes I may disagree with certain things but I can still appreciate the intent and the level of thought and introspection that goes into these videos
I really enjoy hearing your perspective and insight. Thank you 🙏🏾 I’ve never looked at it like this, in levels and as a vortex but it clicks and it provides me with more self-awareness. Love it!
Thank you. You nail it. This is the very heart of the female psyche and helps explain so much I never understood about women (and men!). Love the vortex analogy. It puts the world in focus. Also helps explain the books you reference. I was always shocked by the story of O and but wondered why it resonated so deeply. Am reading Owned and Owner now. Wow!
Wow Paul thanks so much for your support. your comment means a lot. Feel free to email me and let me know what you think of that book. It's extremely intense but made everything seem so obvious to me after I read it and I would be interested in what u think of it
Makes sense to me. I had a girlfriend and when we started having sex it was normal and innocent and in time it turn into slapping, choking, pulling hear. It got to the point wear she gave in to my dominate behavior in bed and she loved it. Sometimes it left me scratching my head in disbelief but yeah you are right. Now that I hear you talking about it. I see there are different levels to it. I will explore them further. I have to say you are a real teacher.
You are the best educator on this topic, period. You articulate things surprisingly well too for what I understand to be an “unscripted” video? Excellent work as usual as a man it is invigorating to hear this from a woman
@tensevo Horseshit. Every good man I know has been effed-over by a woman in divorce. We are talking handsome, hard-working, "I'd take a bullet for you" loyal, committed men. Every. Single. One.
Thanks Victoria. That was hot! You're able to express stuff with clarity in a way that everyone can wrap their minds around it without flinching. Thank you
Ohhhh... so I was talking about Level 8 when I posted that comment on your other video... That makes a lot of sense now... I guess it´s because of Equilibrium.
The last point you made about the wild cats I experienced with my ex. She was a very proud alpha female, but I was able unlock that submissive part of her that wanted to be ‘taken’, she didn’t even know she had it herself, but they all do. Often after sex she’d be repulsed by the ‘aftermath’…and push me off so she to make herself ‘proper’ again. Good video
I was in a relationship for 14yrs with a woman like you explained. I didn't even realize this until I turned up the"amps" once. Her response really blew my mind 😂
@@mynonleatherlife Apologies for my flippancy, it was a rushed comment. However I do believe that all women do have that primal desire, it just takes the right energetic polar opposite to uncover it. I think through sex we seek absolution from our earthly binds, however fleeting it might be. It’s what we all want, the release from constraint. She wants to let go, he wants to let go. Don’t the French call it ‘the little death’ or something? So that deepest part of the submissive feminine is attracted to and attracts, the deepest part of the dominant masculine. In the deep union there is spiritual and emotional freedom. The energy cycles complete and individual resistance is released. In my view it’s a ‘returning to’ (wholeness) perhaps. I could be wrong, it’s just my experience and pondering’s.
Thank you for this video. I think you have an excellent understanding of the primal mating ritual in terms of evolutionary science. Keep up the good work.
The channel of a female feminist, who loves male men and plays this symphony in thousand variations for everybody to enjoy. With gratefulness from a German man who loves every clip of this channel. For me she is already a superstar of female fantasy secrets.
This one is going to be a bit long but I think it is worth it. I have to say, it hard. Hearing what you are saying is hard to shallow. We are conditioned and in part miss guided by genuine good yet blind intent. But what your saying is true. What's Interesting is that this channel and the videos you have made served as a reverse mirror. I got a piece of paper what ever the things women were into and noticed that I (a man) wanted to embody them. Ex: Submissive | Dominant , surrendering | controlling following | leading I can say if there is a male version of the vortex it would be us having total, if not complete control of our woman. Taking away everything and essentially being able to do what ever the fuck we wanted done her. In all honesty it's worse then the female vortex because it's one thing to want this done to you, it's something else to want to do it to some one else. This is some what true for me. Especially since I faced terrible situations were I felt my freedom was stolen and was treated terribly. The idea that I wanted this done to another made me crazy with grief. Of course this is subconscious so at the end of the day it's ingrained. Despite my feelings towards this. One morning I woke up and I day dreamed this scenario in my head. I loved it. It just came out of me naturally and I was so imerssed in it. You can say "it's just in your head" but there is a saying you are your thoughts. My final thoughts are that the reason why "bad boys" get the girls is that wile being broken, they embody this dark energy that just makes them the negative versions of masculinity. Nice guys are to scared to even touch this. The only way we can solve this and have a better experience for both genders is for good guys to become men. They need to integrate their shadow. This vortex and subconscious is the shadow and unless you un pack it and at least try to understand it, it will integrate you. The bad boy is when the shadow integrated you. Even if that isn't the exact out come it will rule your life. Youl just be an involuntary celibate being tormented by a reality we're no matter how nice you are the pricks run circles around you with your very own dreams and desires right to your face. As far as the fantasy of total domination and enslavement, and if your some one like me that just want to do the right thing. Just think of it like this. It's just role play, don't take it to seriously. The subconscious will be satisfied since it can't tell what's real and what isn't. Be both. As I wish to be. Be the light in your girls life, the joy of her existance, the happiness of her heart. I think this is another deep wish at play. But also be the darkness, the space were things are not seen, be the force of nature that inhabits all creatures, be the fear that stops her from not just defying you but losing sight and mind.
Now, you can get a sex doll for as cheap as $200 to try this fantasy out as a man. Tables have turned upside down. Now it's easier for MEN to live this, but not women with a sex doll.
14:52 I've had this a few times. It is trying to smell, then attune to the deepness of it. And for some reason there comes some instinctive sense / information that motivates to learn what it is, where it comes from. Then it gives a lot of thoughts, mental images. It's crazy, but very informative and helps a lot of relating mazes/puzzles to be solved
I always enter a trance state and receive messages and guidance from my primal instincts that I never would have thought of. I also have lots of incredibly realistic visual imagery hit me like right before you enter a dream. Is that anything like you feel?
I am a man . I always been a playboy Johnny Depp type of guy. I always been in LTR relationships with very beautiful powerful women . My approach is soft and gentle but a very deep dark side that they love ..And eventhough we brake up my ex's always keep a space carved out for me in their VORTEX. Makes total sense !!! Thank you...
Marriage is absolutely not submissive anymore. The changes in divorce and family court have made marriage a liability for men with zero benefit. The result is now that men get ruined financially and alienated from their kids. And besides the obvious problem with that, is that this is now a threat that looms over every argument and disagreement in a couple. Men now have to accept abuse and can no longer put their foot down. The obvious reaction of course is that marriage is now just disappearing as men are warning each other.
yes because most men these days are not even men, they are just money and lifestyle providers. that's it. a woman does not actually want to mate with them
Well said, with a sense of safety a whole world of dominance and ironically danger opens up to the point of mock rape scenes, essentially everything under the sun including pure slow romance with ultra heightened senses, hallucinations and devotion to your partnes pleasure, to slave trapping and having total control over her body mind and soul. Powerful stuff. Humans have such an expansively dark road of animalistic sexuality that remains taboo and shamed, but when embodied correctly it's actually rewarded for making her feel so safe and sure of you to surrender to male power all her fantasies, thereby making her feel even safer and protected. Literally an endless road of exploration to help us all tap into pure archetypical energy.
You wouldn't believe how much I have learned from you Victoria. Well I suppose you would because you said it but my understanding has gone in to new realms and different dimensions and universes and I appreciate it a lot
@@mynonleatherlife yeah definitely I don't even apologise to women anymore. Basically anything that isn't dominant I don't do and it's a difficult rewiring process for me but I'll get there. I used to apologise a lot and now I am changing for the better. You shouldn't do that thing in the first place if you're going to apologise all the time or you aren't genuinely sorry anyway.
@@mynonleatherlife just anything close to socially awkward like talking at the same time as someone else or realising I wasn't yet holding a door open and stuff like that. I'm British so it's probably more normal here to be socially awkward/polite like "sorry, bye, thank you, sorry, bye, thank you, sorry".
This discussion was very enlightening and thought provoking. I like your spectrum/continuum explanation. I would also add the possibility that the roots may extend into past life experiences, and that entwines with the primal subconscious urges based on genetic coding.
Very interesting! I can really learn from you. It's a balance act to enter into this dark dominating self without being toxic. But I think I can work it out. Thank you so much for this. All the best to you.
yes I agree like you don't want to go around talking about dominance cuz that will turn women right off but if u can understand the "feminine urge" in women and embody some of the behaviors it can be like catnip to them and highly enjoyable for them, but talking about how dominant you are would be perceived as highly toxic
@@mynonleatherlife Interesting. Do you think if the partner knows it's a healthy dominance rather than a toxic dominance it would be OK to mention? I mean it's just being honest. And my partner knows I'm a gentle person. I would like to hear your view on this. Thank you for your answer by the way.
@@ryu7408 yea like if you have a partner you can discuss kink and what role you prefer and go into great detail, but what is not good is to put on your online dating profile I am a dominant alpha male or say I am very dominant in everything I do. Women will just roll their eyes and ignore you out of annoyance. But with your partner it is definitely ok to discuss these topics and talk about everything
@@mynonleatherlife Thank you so much for sharing your truth in your videos and your comment. It is greatly appreciated ☺️. I understand that too much dominance and alpha male attitude would be annoying. I believe in gentleness mixed with a healthy dominance. But from both sides I think that's a good way. Thanks again and good video. I like how you guide and help others. You guided and helped me today hehe. All the best to you.
You said" it's hard to enter the dominating self without being toxic", can you explain what you mean? Do you find yourself actually wishing harm on your partner ever?
@@mynonleatherlife for example, women universally say (when they are asked by guys about what they really want in a guy) that they want a nice guy who knows how to treat her nice/like a queen (or something fuzzy like that) but what they universtally really mean is they want a (i) supremely confident and dominant guy that (ii) captivates her with those 'je ne sais quoi' qualities who also (ii) knows how to (and actually does) treat her nicely and faithfully. They leave out (i) and (ii) and only say (iii) as a rule. That's the social media type BS. If a guy who is seriously intent on attracting the women he desires and on getting submissiveness out of today's woman works with what women say he will universally fail because the womens' answers set him up to fail.
@@covermedown yea for sure. In my blind spot video I gave my opinion on why they do that. They never see or interact with the guys who need the advice of (i) and (ii). Those guys are in the blind spot due to them never wanting to have anything to do with them, and they are in their heads only speaking to guys who have (i) and (ii) mastered and need help with (iii). I used to be the same and never interacted with any guy who needed help with i and ii. It was unconscious until I started a club for social anxiety and met a lot of shy guys who I saw were exceptional people but clearly had not mastered i and ii.
@@mynonleatherlife Up until I saw your blind spot video, i was convinced that women were deliberately omitting the truth for various manipulative and condemning reasons, and I have to say that was extremely vexing. I've since softened my stance on that, but I do think that there is some deliberate omission going on there. What I've come to accept is that, and this is definitely based on your blind spot video actually, women are genuinely poor at consciously articulating what you KNOW at a primal level (yep, you convinced me of the reality and significance of the primal nature as well, so thanks for that too :)). Then there is the fear of making yourselves vulnerable too, which is very reasonable; and which explains some of the deliberate omission.
Something I noticed when a guy is dominate a woman will ask you literally where do you want me? Or you will notice that while being intimate she will look at your face so she can see if you enjoy it and also to remember how your face looks like while you're pleasing her. It's funny because I myself as a man will look at a woman while being intimate for the same reasons.
When i show no fear towards my teachers while the girls are watching, and i talk back at those more physical intimdating ppl, and walk straight with a kinda know it all but funny attitude, i get a lot of attention and stares of women when i put up that kinda dominant act, i am also a little guy so that suprises ppl if you kinda small and you have a big mouth haha i always loved theather and acting so i can really pull it off
Taking your "vortex" model as a viable construct is obviously creating resonance within many of your respondents, and that's an affirmation that you've been able to mine a lot of relatable truth with this construct...so "well done" for that!! However, speaking from a masculine perspective, being able to, or even "inclined" to....take ones 'lady' down into the vortex is becoming more and more problematic and risk-ridden in this day and age. Speaking as a big, hairy male "lion" whose enjoyed over 30 years of instinctive-savannah-encounter with his chosen "lioness".... I kind of fear for modern (younger) guys who are looking to create a pride of their own these days. I believe that many modern young women are either "gaming" the vortex, or feel such an uncomfortable sense of denial about it, that it's becoming far too risky and unprofitable for any young male "lion" to attempt to do what comes natural for many young male lions "to do." There is a tremendous societal battle occurring these days that is attempting to re-define the accepted rules and dynamics of male/female "approach" and many young men are sensing it. I'm just saying that it doesn't bode well for women who wish to travel deep into "the vortex" because sexual encounter is now occurring with primary focus in a very facile "numbers/body-count" manner, as opposed to couples properly pair-bonding and then "going deep" and experimentally primal with eachother. (Something which can take years to perfect..) I guess what I'm saying is that modern pressures, influences and attempted "re-writes" of what is deemed appropriate, intimate encounter....is deliberately keeping young people away from "the vortex" and because of this, they're trying to get deep sexual satisfaction merely by trying out different sexual partners, but unless two people jump down the vortex together....they could each have a hundred different sexual encounters and STILL be non-the-wiser about "primal" fulfilment....because they've not once....ever travelled down the vortex with somebody. To all intents and purposes, their "body-count" suggests that they've got tremendous sexual experience, but all they've been doing is "licking the rim of the jar" with everybody they've been with. They've had a little taste of LOTS of people....but have never once plunged a spoon in and gone totally primal. Because "primal" sexual encounter is now fraught with too many problematic outcomes if it goes wrong, I honestly think deep, sexual satisfaction has become a niche experience....reserved only for those who have a deeper understanding of the sexual psyche (men AND women) and has now become the exclusive reserve of those who have the audacity to actually "own" the truth of the experience....in spite of societal influences which are currently leading them away from such "nasty" truths!!
i agree many people are going to be too afraid or just not enough interest to go deep and have a very intense and creative sexual experience where they understand and explore their kinks. the weird thing is for a woman having a lot of sexual partners will get some of their kinks met in an unintentional way because since most men are so clueless about what women want and many women aren't comfortable being direct about what they want it becomes a very masochistic and often quite dark experience for them which fulfills those dark kinks often in a somewhat dangerous way
What is your opinion about women who when they are approached by guys and being complimented, they treat them like they are creeps? What is the thought process behind this?
guys act very creepy sometimes unintentionally sometimes intentionally due to them being obsessed with hotness, casual sex and being very insecure and lacking social skills so it affects their ability to have a normal non creepy conversation and women feel that and don't like it, and don't have much compassion since they lack understanding of men and interpret it in the worst possible light
Your right @mynonleatherlife . I have had several women fall under my "spell" and give me control of them for a while. One in particular, I was able to stop her anxiety attack just by standing close to her and telling her to relax and I had the situation at hand, under control. She asked how I did that and I told her I didn't know ( truth is I knew that by projecting a protective vibe emotionally would probably help because women read emotions. I just played stupid cause I could tell she would probably not have left me alone if I told her it was intentional, and I didn't want to take advantage of her/ break her heart later. Just wanted to help her cause I know what those attacks feel like. I did it again with another one while I massaged her scalp stopping her migraine that she'd had for 3 days.
This olso explains the seek of herarchy in human history. The wanting to be dominated, seeking of the savior, the lider, the propet, the messiah or the seek of answers in "Autority". In my personal live since little i always wanted to be the 2 in charge in herarchy. I wanted to be something like the advisor, like what Merlin was to king Arthur or Judas to Jesus in the film "The Last Temptation of Christ". I dident want to have people under my wing but i liked the the concept to have a leader to follow and respect, showing him other perspectives to understand ideas and at the same time having the same or close capabilities like him. But seeking for this "Leader" i figured out than there was no leader outside, there was no leader for no one outside. That is an ILUSION. It was a thought implemented be my familiar and chrisitan religous enviroment, or may be by my own insecurities and my lack of will to seek truth within and not outside. Cose taking an outside concept to confort our insegurities detach all responsability and put it in to others so we feel save, but we lose freedom in the proces and reduce our outcome to fail or succes limiting the expresion of ourselves appearing the tabu when we seek new ways of expresion. You become a heretic and feel ashamed about it. But the truth is that you are the leader, the captain of your ship and the only thing you kneel to is the sea of possibilities searching for the perfect expression. Thanks Victoria, keep the good work!
she will tell you. don't do anything without consent unless you understand the behavior so deeply that u know how to modulate it to be appropriate for every variety of situation. If you understand it great u will understand how to do a brat taming lite response basically just verbal teasing and sparring
There was also a "Story of O" movie that I thought was good. She also recommended another book "Owned and Owner" the link is in the video description "more," and I just went to Am z on and the Kindle version was FREE!
Ehii, thank you for all your advices,, Yeah, I know, sometimes all these emotional things at the end, could be a bit stressful for me, but is the only way a the end
Dominance hierarchies are structured safety, but holding together a selection system ruled by the dominant male. It is the structure for religiousness, submission brings us close to a transcendant state. So our neurology is a ladder system that has the asymmetrical component of ultimate submission in opposition to ultimate transcendence. All meaning is derived from inputs from the external world onto our structured hierarchical neurological system....the high brain correlated to the safety sexual reproductive circuits.
If you are a dominant man, can create a safe space, and can create a structured yet exciting life... my experience is you can get any woman who wants this to level 8.
It did make sense. Over 25 years ago I heard from a guy in his 40ies, and I wasn't even 18, that women want to be slaves. He just put it this simple, and he's been very successful with women, although his good looks helped I assume.
My favourite vegan kinkster returns to help us unravel the mysteries of the female sexuality . Since I learned that my dominant instincts are actually desired by females , my brain has been on fire. My wife's body has been responding very positively so far . Can't wait to learn more.
One of my favorite parts of your videos is where you make recommendations. This story of O sounds a bit to extreme for me to read the whole thing and you seem to cover the overall ideas well, but I am currently reading feeling good by dr david burns. Please keep the awesome recommendations along with your amazing content coming. Thank you!
Love your content. It always put me a smile that people are creating this kind of content when a visit your channel from time to time. I have a question: Have you written a book with your thoughts or have you thought about writing a book?
The main thing women don't understand about us is we are consistent. How you do anything is how you do everything. That's our mindset. Respecting you and wanting to R you are complete polar opposites lol. To us, that's literally two different people. How do you expect a guy to make that transition "smoothly."
Well said. This whole video, even if true, discusses kinds of relationships I don’t want to pursue. She seems to just think it’s fine for men to indulge this stuff.
@@EresirThe1stit is fine for men she chooses to indulge in these things with her because it is what really rings her bell and resonates within her. There is something else…she is trying to HELP you and men in general. Because there are A LOT of women quietly hungering for a man who is confident and dominant in general, but who also really turns that “volume” level up to high in the bedroom. They don’t necessarily want to be humiliated/embarrassed/exposed in front of their mom in public. They don’t even want to verbally admit it to themselves or to their partner in the bedroom, but the ideas and desires lurk in the shadows of her mind. If a man can harness her and ride her to her desired destination it can be a powerful and greatly appreciated release for her. Perhaps the darkest thing of all is that one man fails to give that to her she may start looking for another man who can. Help her and help yourself.
Considering humans are a Tournament Mating species where the men compete and the victor takes the spoils it makes perfect sense that such things would turn a woman on. It's also got to be a huge ego boost for a woman to have two hot and powerful men so attracted to her that they'd come to violence to decide who will mate with her, at least on a subconscious level. This is all natural and when experienced in the right context can be a beautiful thing for man and wife, but it's so dark most fear to really think too much on it let alone really delve into it. For being willing to talk about it as a woman and your experience of it I salute you, that can't be easy making yourself so vulnerable but I think you're likely to help a lot of people with these videos so keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
Hey, great video, very interesting and insightful! Information about this is hard to come by, and I think it can be very valuable for people to hear. I suspect a lot of conflict between the sexes has its roots in misunderstandings surrounding these topics. Personally, this topic causes me anxiety, and I'm trying to figure out why. Part of me says that the anxiety means that there is something wrong with all this "darkness" and that I should hold out for something better. I should hold out for a sexuality that, far from being the suicidal downward spiral of The Story of O, is uplifting, warm and life affirming. (Though maybe these things can be combined somehow?) The other part of me says the anxiety is coming from insecurities surrounding assertiveness and being dominant, which may well be the case. I don't really know what to believe. I recognize that there is something resonant about these "dark" fantasies. They're certainly deeply arousing. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're right, or good. I feel there's something unwholesome hanging over it that I just can't shake. I guess I'm idealistic. I want the good to win, and I'm having trouble seeing exactly how the good is compatible with these "dark" traits. Hm... thinking about it some more I can see it working in the context of very deep trust. If it's a certainty to both parties that what they are engaging in is play, that it has no "serious" implication on the outside, then I might be on board. But trust like that is hard to establish and it seems to me most people who engage in these kinds of acts cut corners with it in their eagerness to get to the pleasure. In any case, I have some questions I'd love to hear your thoughts on: 1) Do you think that "the call of the vortex" could play a role sometimes in cases of domestic violence? I can imagine that it could cause a sexually frustrated woman to subconsciously try to get her man to be more dominant and controlling by challenging him. If the man doesn't understand her desires and doesn't have empathy for them, then he might interpret her "tests" as disrespect or antagonism. And that, coupled with the conviction of being unable to sexually satisfy her, could cause him to build up resentment towards her which may take them down the road of domestic violence. What do you think? It seems plausible to me that if not properly understood by both parties, "the call of the void" could manifest as a force in that direction. Or do you think they are entirely unrelated? 2) Most of the things you talk about have these "dark" elements to them. Are there any sources of arousal that are wholesome? Are they just not as intense? 3) You said something in a reply to another comment that made me curious: "Like for me the facial expressions (that convey powerful masculine traits) a guy could make is prob as intense as a man staring at a female body part". What sort of facial expressions? His confidence? Thanks a lot for your video, and thanks in advance for your answers if you choose to reply.
I understand your thoughts and think you’re on to something good. The instincts she’s talking about are truly our ancient animal instincts and she’s amazing at explaining them. The difference between human and ape is that, at some point, we denied these instincts in favor of something more “enlightened“. Something animals can’t do. It lead humanity out of the animal kingdom and to a place we’re we can walk the streets in relative safety and have countless conveniences at our fingertips. Holding our animal instincts in such high regard is a mistake. 1,000 years ago, this dominant sl@ve master male would club a gentle farmer over the head, steal his crop, grape his wife and daughter and pass his genes on through evolution. We, as humans, decided to fight against our evolutionary programming to elevate that gentle person and incarcerate that dominant sl@ve master person. This is an amazing accomplishment. As for having to deny some primal urges, welcome to civilization. Men do it all of the time and are expected to. Anyway, those are my thoughts. Thanks for reading.
I enjoyed reading your comment a lot. the relationship I have with my bf is extremely wholesome in my opinion and the only reason this fantasy is important to know is basically for straight up fun and excitement. For me doing bdsm influenced fantasies is like a extreme sports hobby I enjoy cuz it's exciting and fun. As I said in the vid, most women are not going to want a 24/7 relationship. But they might want to dabble or have a little flavor here and there. I just think it would be ideal if guys understood the extreme form because then they wouldn't make little mistakes and misinterpretations when doing just dominance lite in casual dating stuff. So you don't have to be this super dark alpha male. It would just be good if you understood the concept and applied it for fun if she even wants you to. Hope that makes sense. Question 1- I don't think it would ever work like that where she would try to get an already violent man to be more violent. It wouldn't make sense. But I do think it is what causes women to be subconsciously drawn to men who are the type to get violent in the first place. But no woman wants a guy who already is violent to be more so. The only time they'd want to encourage a guy to be more agressive is if he lacked much of that to begin with 2. absolutely. you would prob find the idea of true love and marriage quite wholesome. I just see that as having a kinky flavor to it but it's so LITE that most people prob don't even notice and just see it as wholesome. 3. that is a vid I want to make soon actually
also lots of women get into spiritual sexuality or tantra influenced sexual info out there because they find it to be a more wholesome way of describing bdsm. They can talk about polarity instead of domination and submission. And Presence instead of being dominant and consciousness instead of giving orders etc. It's wholesome but it's just for people who want to avoid being too sexual and being too dirty imo so I prefer to use kinky terminology.
@@tlewis84able Yeah, that might be right. I wonder if it would work to just ignore those urges though. Maybe they will always make their presence known in once shape or another whether we like it or not. In that case maybe it's better to try to find some healthy way to accommodate them, assuming that's possible.
@@mynonleatherlife 1) Okay, thanks. That makes sense. 2) I was thinking something wholesome that's more immediately sexually arousing. I assume you don't mean I should start monologuing about marriage in the bedroom. So like, for example, what is your idea of sensuality? Do you use that concept? Or do you associate that also with domination and submission? In some of your videos you've mentioned DDLG. Though not exactly vanilla, maybe that's more wholesome? Don't know much about it. 3) Cool. I'm excited to see it. Another question! 4) What do you think about porn? Good? Bad? Is it mainly catering to male fantasies (at least in the mainstream)? If so, what would porn more oriented towards women look like? More BDSM type stuff? Or just the camera focusing more on the guy? What about its effect on society? Does it make men worse lovers?
Very interesting, i did my own study and essay into female sexuality because i wanted to know if there was a link between men and women sexual dynamics and leadership and power in a professional setting. I asked women outside a social setting who worked in sex industry's because i knew i wouldn't get " glossy answers" all of them answered pretty much the same to my questions with small variations. I've applied the characteristic's from my studies to my workplace and my professional success's is only going up since then. Women respond differently to me now as well.
@@mynonleatherlife I never published it anywhere because i wanted to use it for my own development. I've done lots of little study's like this and about humans needs. I can email you it across if you want.
Hi, loving the content, very well explained therioes and scenarios. Just wondering if you could do a video on how to get women to 'submit' or want to wear certain clothes I.e knee high boots or leather skirts that the man is really into. How to get the point across as to how much it means to the man and how it brings lots of ongoing desire to the relationship. The best way to tap into that mindset without it seeming demanding but more pleasurable? Hope this makes sense! Many thanks
"Owned and Owner" There is a link in the "More" section of the video description to Am. Z on. The Kindle version of the book was FREE when I visited there.
@@mynonleatherlife Absolutely, it explained our journey from erotic vanilla to BDSM is very clear terms. I think the only thing I would add is that I believe most women need a catalyst, to get them past level three, something like a book, or a BDSM site, both of which most women won't partake of.
@@rexvanburen8942 very very true. there is a fear of learning more when it's so eye opening it's insane to me. I used to be the same and was so scared the first time I began doing research. Now it is so normal to me I'm mad at myself I waited so long to learn more and open the mysteries and learn the patterns of bdsm.
@@mynonleatherlife The implication there is that you can't be doing "climb on, climb off, missionary with the lights out," and expect any of the above mentioned catalyst to generate anything but horror, or worse.
Great idea Lerone and very cool you are reading it. I'll tell u another one that really opened my eyes: a lover's pinch by peter tupper. another one that made it all click.
Your theory on WHY that final pull down into the vortex is allowed by a woman sounds right to me. I’m not a woman but my intuition tells me you are correct.
@@mynonleatherlife you said something about how you think it may be pretty standard mammal mating behavior; that when a woman sees men fighting over her, or witnesses the sheer power, intensity, dominance, and worthiness of a man in some other way, it is almost like catnip for a woman and she is susceptible to falling into what is almost like a submissive trance during which time she allows the male to climb on her and f@# her. I’m oversimplifying what you said a litter bit though. I may have gotten wrong some of what you said. I like the way you worded better.
I find all of this to be very interesting, and something I can connect to (but not fully understand) through my marriage and family relationships. Let me throw another idea out there: rather than saying Master/Slave is at the base of this fantasy, could we describe it differently? Might we say that many women seek 1) a powerful, strong male leader that 2) has certain compassion and understanding of her needs, but 3) will not put her needs above his or his family, and 4) will form practical life structures for them both to support a positive, growing, and fruitful lifestyle?
Hello will, i agree with 1 (tho what constitutes a powerful strong male leader could def vary and it doesn't only have to be one way), 2 yes, 3 I guess if it helps guys to have more of a backbone tho I wouldn't say it needs to be a hard rule that he could never put her needs first, and 4 what did u mean by a practical life structure
As a woman, kind of agree with this. There are archetypal desires of women, some sxual, some social etc all based on primal instincts from our prehistoric ancestry. The prince charming rescuer/being the chosen woman of the alpha male is one of the most potent archetypes to make women fall in love. The r*pe/degradation fantasy of being totally surenderred/loss of control while being brought to extreme pleasure with zero responsibility by a highly skilled dominating male is another one.
I am glad you kind of agree as a woman, that is awesome to hear
Are you also accepting of the male primal instincts of our prehistoric past? I’m guessing not.
@@tlewis84able which instincts are you referring to specifically plz?
@@ashsqx3246 mating with the most fertile of females.
@@tlewis84able its well known that certain physical features are considered attractive, those having certain looks , smell (pheromones) etc get chosen by opposite sx. These features signal fertility, good genes / genetic compatibility etc
I think one of the reasons women dont speak their mind on this subject is because it kills the fantasy of it. Kind of like the joke is worthless if you have to explain it. The fantasy works especially well if they are fighting against it and they still get it.
Its defense, in ridicule, only people who speak all truth lose most.
Its not a fantasy btw, its a reality.
I applaud your openness, honesty, and courage.
You approached this topic with tact, poise, and grace. Most psychiatrists won't even broach this topic.
My primal fantasy is to have peace and quiet.
lmao, yes! stillness.
😂😂😂😂😂
Lolol
exactly..
Yeap definitely.
And as a guy I also really don't like the whole dom/sub dynamic.
Kinda noticed it in the bedroom
I guess it makes sense from a natural instinct standpoint but.
Can't say I like it, actually kinda disgusts me somehow, but then again.
People don't always have full control of who they are, what they like or how they turn out.
Neither can I, sadly majority of us are still just born with still very primal brains living in modern times.
Veronica you are so so right. I saw my my ex when I was way younger, 26, go through a lot of these phases (we only split up because her family emigrated - she was Aussie) now that you point them out. She cried and cried for months after we split up. But when we were going strong, even without my planning it, but by the end of it it was a lot like stage 8. I remember once I was in the queue at Boots, we had gone in together and then she needed to go outside quickly and she came to me to tell me but was almost like asking permission from me. Then times we would go out and she would always go off and dance and whatever but she would always come back and report to me and ask me if should get me things. I look back and obviously this is a public forum so we must be PG13 but I can see a lot what you were saying in how she behaved.
Guys, this is one of the most self aware, nuanced, analytical, and insightful channels on the Tube!!
Your honesty & authenticity are highly
laudable.
You are a national treasure.
Maybe you could help clarify for me, and demystify for anyone else who too might be in the dark-
Another aspect of the "rocket science" of female sexuality??
I understand that women differ from one another, as well as throughout the month it may vary, but a rough outline would still be really helpful.
If you could please address any of the questions you think might be educational & useful. (In video or otherwise, whatever is easier for you.) Thanks
1. Do women crave as intensely & viscerally to LOOK at, and touch, the male body (Ex: forearms, shoulders, hands, muscles etc.) in the same manner we may hunger for the female body?
2. When a woman sees a man in a well tailored suit does it trigger "sexual longing", in the same way a female showing skin (sexually) might cause in men?
3. Is sexual excitement binary (similar to us men; we are either not thinking about sexual excitement or we have been triggered and now have to consciously address it, either by squashing it or.....) or does it have many stages like 1-10 ladder, an all day slow simmer?
4. Are there actions that do not seem to trigger sexual excitement in men, but for women they seem to? (Compliments, attention tenderness, etc.).
Thank you very much for always sharing your insight and thoughts.
Keep up the great work!
wow these are really fantastic questions thank you. I will give u my short answers, maybe I can make a vid to address it further. 1. in my opinion not really the same. it is way less intense. but this fantasy that i'm mentioning creates an equivalent attraction to behaviors and actions men take. Like for me the facial expressions (that convey powerful masculine traits) a guy could make is prob as intense as a man staring at a female body part. 2. I'd say yes but maybe to a lesser degree 3. i didn't know about this binary. I think it depends how high the girl's sex drive is like for me it is pretty similar to a binary. But slowly escalating to turn a girl on is always extremely important if she is not experiencing extremely high spontaneous desire 4. There are so many, I will have to think about this one and start keeping a list as they come to me and thanks a lot for the encouragement
"Guys, this is one of the most self aware, nuanced, analytical, and insightful channels on the Tube!! Your honesty & authenticity are highly laudable. You are a national treasure."
Absolutely correct, Pierre!
@@mynonleatherlife
Very kind of you to take your time and provide such a detailed reply.
So thank you!
Now yes, the male species would certainly benefit from a "Victoria style" video on this topic.
Below are a few more questions I have pondered-
1. How often does an innocuous sexual cue (ex: A masculine voice in a passing advertisement etc.)trigger a *want* for further sexual stimulation so as to help get to the point of sexual release (orgasm)?
4. Can visual sexual expression (Ex: Proactive NFL halftime show) alone be enough eroticism to evoke in a woman a desire for sexual release (as is very common for us men), or would she need a narrative to tie to it?
3. For Females the primary motivation for sexual contact is borne out of?
A) Emotional Intimacy & mental connection B) Curiosity, adventure & pleasure C) Desire for satiation (Orgasm).
4. While in a healthy monogamous relationship, how often do sexual feelings get triggered in a woman from a coworker or friend etc.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts
@@pierrecamus You are utterly annoying. And national treasure?
No wonder why brands pay millions to youtubers. There are impressionable people like you who puts people on pedestals.
@@mynonleatherlifewhat facial expressions
You do a great job at describing the raw female instinct. My concern is that without a nuance understanding of males, females that run with these primal urges, outside of a true best friendship with the male, are setting themselves up to be used and discarded by the males.
The male mind won’t commit to a female unless these two facts are present. That she is a steady source of sex and that she is only his source of sex. When a female shows up with this kink, seeking to engage the fantasy, the male easily will take advantage of the moment but won’t take her seriously beyond that moment. So in a situation of an unplanned pregnancy, or if she is having an affair or fling with him, he won’t be there for her. Her life will be turned upside down and she will be alone.
You are so head on, that it's scary; exactly the way we live and are so happy and infinitely in love !!!! Thank You Victoria!
These videos are literally saving my life right now. Thank you!!!!!
I like how you create your own agenda and clearly illustrate your point with genuine passion and enthusiasm, another great video❤
Think this is well explained Victoria.
I've seen these mammal behavior in documentaries and the seemingly contradictory things in femal behavior. A lot of dot's joined👍
You are an angel, thank you for tangibly changing our lives for the better. You are the best guru I've encountered. May, you get everything you want. I say this on behalf of all men, we love you. ❤
wow Siddhanth thank you very much. Were you able to apply any of the stuff in the vids in real life?
@@mynonleatherlife Not yet. I've learnt a lot through almost all of your videos. I've understood the assignment very well, thanks to your videos. Currently working on myself to get to where I wanna be. But, will look for wifey when I'm ready. 😇
I am reading Owner and Owned. It is brilliant and goes exactly into that dark vortex. I have read The Story of O before and was bewildered by it but I'll read it again and think I'll get a better understanding of it. The Vortex is such a good way of describing this.
yea forget the story of O all u need is the one you are reading... if you understand that you will understand all the most submissive kinks in the most extreme form
the book was written by a woman whose own husband had no idea what she was into...sad
@@mynonleatherlife That's the reality of many relationships where the husband has no idea what his wife is into and in certain cases she will even cheat on him to get her 'fix.' I wish more women were honest with their husbands about their fantasies but channels like urs will certainly help get the message across to men out there about what women truly want. So thank you for that.
@@mynonleatherlife indeed, very sad!
@@mynonleatherlifeAny book recommendations?
I dig the way you explain things, and draw/map out simple diagrams.
The "runway to peak arousal" is one ov my favorite videos from this channel. It makes perfect sense!
Like if us men dont do the things to even get on the runway, then we're basically just taxiing around in circles around the airport!
But if we want to ever take flight with an interested lady, we gotta do the things to get on the runway.
My interactions with attractive ladies along my weekly routines definitely seems to progressing with the runway analogy in the back ov my mind lately.
I met a nice lady the other day who is fresh out the Air Force reserves training and I realized I put her on the runway right away with my sense ov humor and great physique I think.
She kept admiring the art on my ballcap and I was rocking a muscle shirt that day.
I could tell later on that we BOTH were seizing every opportunity we would get to check each other out (while maintaining a professional setting. I think she is a CNA or something)
Her body language was singing songs for me to take notice, appreciate, and show curiosity.
I examined her and appreciated the slick ways she kept grabbing my attention and hoovering near me and around me.
I came in the place smelling, looking, and feeling great.
I feel like I can subtly yet confidently tap into her "sex brain," as Miss Victoria, would say LOL
For some ov us out here, we find useful gems on this channel and you're speaking our language! 😊
Now the first step would be to ask her to tell about her day, and appear interested in what she's doing (if you're not really interested then you're just playing her and you don't deserve to be together anyway). Then take it forward with some light, nonsexual touching (good luck with that, I've never managed to get that far).
I just discovered your channel. I'm watching to gain insight into the mind of a woman. I've studied a lot of female psychology and am enjoying your take on the subject. I have a new girlfriend so I'll use this information as best as I can.
You have a very unique way of communicating ideas around men women and sex especially from the female perspective. I've heard and have known the underlying concepts you spoke about but I've never heard anyone phrase the concepts the way you do with depth from the female perspective. Sometimes I may disagree with certain things but I can still appreciate the intent and the level of thought and introspection that goes into these videos
thank u very much AJ
I really enjoy hearing your perspective and insight. Thank you 🙏🏾 I’ve never looked at it like this, in levels and as a vortex but it clicks and it provides me with more self-awareness. Love it!
I'm so glad you liked it and so glad the vortex analogy and the levels resonate!!
Thank you. You nail it. This is the very heart of the female psyche and helps explain so much I never understood about women (and men!). Love the vortex analogy. It puts the world in focus. Also helps explain the books you reference. I was always shocked by the story of O and but wondered why it resonated so deeply. Am reading Owned and Owner now. Wow!
Wow Paul thanks so much for your support. your comment means a lot. Feel free to email me and let me know what you think of that book. It's extremely intense but made everything seem so obvious to me after I read it and I would be interested in what u think of it
Makes sense to me. I had a girlfriend and when we started having sex it was normal and innocent and in time it turn into slapping, choking, pulling hear. It got to the point wear she gave in to my dominate behavior in bed and she loved it. Sometimes it left me scratching my head in disbelief but yeah you are right. Now that I hear you talking about it. I see there are different levels to it. I will explore them further. I have to say you are a real teacher.
i'm glad u see the levels
Same bro
It's like the "call of the wild".
We can be seen as a complicated creature but we're not so complicated when we think in a primal manner. Great video.
😂woow! Priceless how you flip your hair back at the beginning of the video
You are the best educator on this topic, period. You articulate things surprisingly well too for what I understand to be an “unscripted” video? Excellent work as usual as a man it is invigorating to hear this from a woman
thank you very much!
My take is ''every fantasy is a submission at a high or strong level''
Your videos are very unique. Thanks for recording this. I have thought about this a lot but I have heard very little about it from others.
My 'primal fantasy' is to have a woman in my life who actually understands the concept of loyalty.
women will be loyal if you deserve it and/or they have no options.
lol my fantasy as well bro… I think we better keep dreaming lol
@tensevo Horseshit. Every good man I know has been effed-over by a woman in divorce. We are talking handsome, hard-working, "I'd take a bullet for you" loyal, committed men. Every. Single. One.
@tensevo That's a widely proven lie.
Loyaltis a word that is not in their dictionary
Guys need to watch this woman’s videos. She give A LOT of good information
Thanks Victoria. That was hot! You're able to express stuff with clarity in a way that everyone can wrap their minds around it without flinching. Thank you
Ohhhh... so I was talking about Level 8 when I posted that comment on your other video... That makes a lot of sense now... I guess it´s because of Equilibrium.
The last point you made about the wild cats I experienced with my ex. She was a very proud alpha female, but I was able unlock that submissive part of her that wanted to be ‘taken’, she didn’t even know she had it herself, but they all do. Often after sex she’d be repulsed by the ‘aftermath’…and push me off so she to make herself ‘proper’ again. Good video
well i strongly disagree with "they all do" as I stated many times in the video lol, but i am very glad you can relate and know what I am saying.
I was in a relationship for 14yrs with a woman like you explained. I didn't even realize this until I turned up the"amps" once. Her response really blew my mind 😂
@@mynonleatherlife Apologies for my flippancy, it was a rushed comment. However I do believe that all women do have that primal desire, it just takes the right energetic polar opposite to uncover it.
I think through sex we seek absolution from our earthly binds, however fleeting it might be. It’s what we all want, the release from constraint. She wants to let go, he wants to let go. Don’t the French call it ‘the little death’ or something? So that deepest part of the submissive feminine is attracted to and attracts, the deepest part of the dominant masculine. In the deep union there is spiritual and emotional freedom. The energy cycles complete and individual resistance is released.
In my view it’s a ‘returning to’ (wholeness) perhaps. I could be wrong, it’s just my experience and pondering’s.
Men desire this more than women. Thats why most are so swxually inhibited and frustrates.
@@mynonleatherlife They all do, because it's a desire rooted in letting go of control, which is the basis of all spiritual teachings.
Thank you for this video. I think you have an excellent understanding of the primal mating ritual in terms of evolutionary science. Keep up the good work.
I'm glad you think so, are you an expert in the field
The channel of a female feminist, who loves male men and plays this symphony in thousand variations for everybody to enjoy. With gratefulness from a German man who loves every clip of this channel. For me she is already a superstar of female fantasy secrets.
Thank you very much Muw Weti
This one is going to be a bit long but I think it is worth it.
I have to say, it hard. Hearing what you are saying is hard to shallow. We are conditioned and in part miss guided by genuine good yet blind intent. But what your saying is true. What's Interesting is that this channel and the videos you have made served as a reverse mirror. I got a piece of paper what ever the things women were into and noticed that I (a man) wanted to embody them. Ex: Submissive | Dominant , surrendering | controlling following | leading
I can say if there is a male version of the vortex it would be us having total, if not complete control of our woman. Taking away everything and essentially being able to do what ever the fuck we wanted done her. In all honesty it's worse then the female vortex because it's one thing to want this done to you, it's something else to want to do it to some one else.
This is some what true for me. Especially since I faced terrible situations were I felt my freedom was stolen and was treated terribly. The idea that I wanted this done to another made me crazy with grief. Of course this is subconscious so at the end of the day it's ingrained.
Despite my feelings towards this. One morning I woke up and I day dreamed this scenario in my head. I loved it. It just came out of me naturally and I was so imerssed in it. You can say "it's just in your head" but there is a saying you are your thoughts.
My final thoughts are that the reason why "bad boys" get the girls is that wile being broken, they embody this dark energy that just makes them the negative versions of masculinity. Nice guys are to scared to even touch this.
The only way we can solve this and have a better experience for both genders is for good guys to become men. They need to integrate their shadow. This vortex and subconscious is the shadow and unless you un pack it and at least try to understand it, it will integrate you. The bad boy is when the shadow integrated you. Even if that isn't the exact out come it will rule your life. Youl just be an involuntary celibate being tormented by a reality we're no matter how nice you are the pricks run circles around you with your very own dreams and desires right to your face.
As far as the fantasy of total domination and enslavement, and if your some one like me that just want to do the right thing. Just think of it like this. It's just role play, don't take it to seriously. The subconscious will be satisfied since it can't tell what's real and what isn't.
Be both. As I wish to be. Be the light in your girls life, the joy of her existance, the happiness of her heart. I think this is another deep wish at play. But also be the darkness, the space were things are not seen, be the force of nature that inhabits all creatures, be the fear that stops her from not just defying you but losing sight and mind.
thx for sharing and very interesting! I like that last paragraph especially.
Now, you can get a sex doll for as cheap as $200 to try this fantasy out as a man. Tables have turned upside down. Now it's easier for MEN to live this, but not women with a sex doll.
Great comment. Reminded me abit of Carl Jung's Shadow concept
Bought a book from your recommended readings…the heart of dominance
I‘m so happy you post again 🧡😍
Excellent ! Brava !
Now I Know The Eight Core Subroutines That Control The Code Of Our Behaviour.
Thanks from South Africa for your insightful content
THIS is huge! I am improving my entire point of view about female nature. And Everything makes sense.
Thanks for sharing!
Ok pls use the knowledge for good not evil and don’t see it as “female nature” as that phrase will bother women for sure
14:52
I've had this a few times. It is trying to smell, then attune to the deepness of it. And for some reason there comes some instinctive sense / information that motivates to learn what it is, where it comes from. Then it gives a lot of thoughts, mental images. It's crazy, but very informative and helps a lot of relating mazes/puzzles to be solved
I always enter a trance state and receive messages and guidance from my primal instincts that I never would have thought of. I also have lots of incredibly realistic visual imagery hit me like right before you enter a dream. Is that anything like you feel?
@@mynonleatherlife yes, I can revisit the memories and look around for details or re-live moments.
I am a man . I always been a playboy Johnny Depp type of guy. I always been in LTR relationships with very beautiful powerful women . My approach is soft and gentle but a very deep dark side that they love ..And eventhough we brake up my ex's always keep a space carved out for me in their VORTEX.
Makes total sense !!! Thank you...
A pleasure to follow you while you are exposing your ideas, Victoria.
thanks Carlos
Marriage is absolutely not submissive anymore. The changes in divorce and family court have made marriage a liability for men with zero benefit. The result is now that men get ruined financially and alienated from their kids. And besides the obvious problem with that, is that this is now a threat that looms over every argument and disagreement in a couple. Men now have to accept abuse and can no longer put their foot down. The obvious reaction of course is that marriage is now just disappearing as men are warning each other.
yes because most men these days are not even men, they are just money and lifestyle providers. that's it. a woman does not actually want to mate with them
Yeah, but the fantasy of it is stil there, just like she explained in the Four core fantasies video - Patriarchy, Princess, Prince and Dark Monogamy.
Well said, with a sense of safety a whole world of dominance and ironically danger opens up to the point of mock rape scenes, essentially everything under the sun including pure slow romance with ultra heightened senses, hallucinations and devotion to your partnes pleasure, to slave trapping and having total control over her body mind and soul. Powerful stuff. Humans have such an expansively dark road of animalistic sexuality that remains taboo and shamed, but when embodied correctly it's actually rewarded for making her feel so safe and sure of you to surrender to male power all her fantasies, thereby making her feel even safer and protected. Literally an endless road of exploration to help us all tap into pure archetypical energy.
You wouldn't believe how much I have learned from you Victoria. Well I suppose you would because you said it but my understanding has gone in to new realms and different dimensions and universes and I appreciate it a lot
incredible dan, makes me so happy 2 hear that. so ur seeing it apply in the real world?
@@mynonleatherlife yeah definitely I don't even apologise to women anymore. Basically anything that isn't dominant I don't do and it's a difficult rewiring process for me but I'll get there. I used to apologise a lot and now I am changing for the better. You shouldn't do that thing in the first place if you're going to apologise all the time or you aren't genuinely sorry anyway.
@@danstylus1 what kinds of things did u use to apologize for
@@mynonleatherlife just anything close to socially awkward like talking at the same time as someone else or realising I wasn't yet holding a door open and stuff like that. I'm British so it's probably more normal here to be socially awkward/polite like "sorry, bye, thank you, sorry, bye, thank you, sorry".
Glad to hear you again Vicky!
Great to have you back!
hehe
This discussion was very enlightening and thought provoking. I like your spectrum/continuum explanation. I would also add the possibility that the roots may extend into past life experiences, and that entwines with the primal subconscious urges based on genetic coding.
Interesting! How do u think past life experiences could apply?
Very interesting! I can really learn from you. It's a balance act to enter into this dark dominating self without being toxic. But I think I can work it out. Thank you so much for this. All the best to you.
yes I agree like you don't want to go around talking about dominance cuz that will turn women right off but if u can understand the "feminine urge" in women and embody some of the behaviors it can be like catnip to them and highly enjoyable for them, but talking about how dominant you are would be perceived as highly toxic
@@mynonleatherlife Interesting. Do you think if the partner knows it's a healthy dominance rather than a toxic dominance it would be OK to mention? I mean it's just being honest. And my partner knows I'm a gentle person. I would like to hear your view on this. Thank you for your answer by the way.
@@ryu7408 yea like if you have a partner you can discuss kink and what role you prefer and go into great detail, but what is not good is to put on your online dating profile I am a dominant alpha male or say I am very dominant in everything I do. Women will just roll their eyes and ignore you out of annoyance. But with your partner it is definitely ok to discuss these topics and talk about everything
@@mynonleatherlife Thank you so much for sharing your truth in your videos and your comment. It is greatly appreciated ☺️. I understand that too much dominance and alpha male attitude would be annoying. I believe in gentleness mixed with a healthy dominance. But from both sides I think that's a good way. Thanks again and good video. I like how you guide and help others. You guided and helped me today hehe. All the best to you.
You said" it's hard to enter the dominating self without being toxic", can you explain what you mean? Do you find yourself actually wishing harm on your partner ever?
Great job ! It takes a lot of courage to what you do ! Keep up the good work
thanks shane I appreciate that
Victoria!
Where have you been?!
You've been missed ✌
thank you very much OpticRacer21
Great content and description where I easily found the books.
U ar the only women i like in TH-cam who give actual presentation of female nature not that social media type bullshit❤️
what is the social media type bullshit in your opinion
@@mynonleatherlife politically correct , feel good things which are not true in reality
@@mynonleatherlife for example, women universally say (when they are asked by guys about what they really want in a guy) that they want a nice guy who knows how to treat her nice/like a queen (or something fuzzy like that) but what they universtally really mean is they want a (i) supremely confident and dominant guy that (ii) captivates her with those 'je ne sais quoi' qualities who also (ii) knows how to (and actually does) treat her nicely and faithfully.
They leave out (i) and (ii) and only say (iii) as a rule. That's the social media type BS. If a guy who is seriously intent on attracting the women he desires and on getting submissiveness out of today's woman works with what women say he will universally fail because the womens' answers set him up to fail.
@@covermedown yea for sure. In my blind spot video I gave my opinion on why they do that. They never see or interact with the guys who need the advice of (i) and (ii). Those guys are in the blind spot due to them never wanting to have anything to do with them, and they are in their heads only speaking to guys who have (i) and (ii) mastered and need help with (iii). I used to be the same and never interacted with any guy who needed help with i and ii. It was unconscious until I started a club for social anxiety and met a lot of shy guys who I saw were exceptional people but clearly had not mastered i and ii.
@@mynonleatherlife Up until I saw your blind spot video, i was convinced that women were deliberately omitting the truth for various manipulative and condemning reasons, and I have to say that was extremely vexing.
I've since softened my stance on that, but I do think that there is some deliberate omission going on there. What I've come to accept is that, and this is definitely based on your blind spot video actually, women are genuinely poor at consciously articulating what you KNOW at a primal level (yep, you convinced me of the reality and significance of the primal nature as well, so thanks for that too :)). Then there is the fear of making yourselves vulnerable too, which is very reasonable; and which explains some of the deliberate omission.
Excellent video. We are approaching the bottom of the vortex and those on the journey will understand.
keep your hands and legs inside the vehicle as we approach the bottom of the vortex!
Something I noticed when a guy is dominate a woman will ask you literally where do you want me? Or you will notice that while being intimate she will look at your face so she can see if you enjoy it and also to remember how your face looks like while you're pleasing her. It's funny because I myself as a man will look at a woman while being intimate for the same reasons.
When i show no fear towards my teachers while the girls are watching, and i talk back at those more physical intimdating ppl, and walk straight with a kinda know it all but funny attitude, i get a lot of attention and stares of women when i put up that kinda dominant act, i am also a little guy so that suprises ppl if you kinda small and you have a big mouth haha i always loved theather and acting so i can really pull it off
Taking your "vortex" model as a viable construct is obviously creating resonance within many of your respondents, and that's an affirmation that you've been able to mine a lot of relatable truth with this construct...so "well done" for that!! However, speaking from a masculine perspective, being able to, or even "inclined" to....take ones 'lady' down into the vortex is becoming more and more problematic and risk-ridden in this day and age.
Speaking as a big, hairy male "lion" whose enjoyed over 30 years of instinctive-savannah-encounter with his chosen "lioness".... I kind of fear for modern (younger) guys who are looking to create a pride of their own these days. I believe that many modern young women are either "gaming" the vortex, or feel such an uncomfortable sense of denial about it, that it's becoming far too risky and unprofitable for any young male "lion" to attempt to do what comes natural for many young male lions "to do."
There is a tremendous societal battle occurring these days that is attempting to re-define the accepted rules and dynamics of male/female "approach" and many young men are sensing it. I'm just saying that it doesn't bode well for women who wish to travel deep into "the vortex" because sexual encounter is now occurring with primary focus in a very facile "numbers/body-count" manner, as opposed to couples properly pair-bonding and then "going deep" and experimentally primal with eachother. (Something which can take years to perfect..)
I guess what I'm saying is that modern pressures, influences and attempted "re-writes" of what is deemed appropriate, intimate encounter....is deliberately keeping young people away from "the vortex" and because of this, they're trying to get deep sexual satisfaction merely by trying out different sexual partners, but unless two people jump down the vortex together....they could each have a hundred different sexual encounters and STILL be non-the-wiser about "primal" fulfilment....because they've not once....ever travelled down the vortex with somebody.
To all intents and purposes, their "body-count" suggests that they've got tremendous sexual experience, but all they've been doing is "licking the rim of the jar" with everybody they've been with. They've had a little taste of LOTS of people....but have never once plunged a spoon in and gone totally primal.
Because "primal" sexual encounter is now fraught with too many problematic outcomes if it goes wrong, I honestly think deep, sexual satisfaction has become a niche experience....reserved only for those who have a deeper understanding of the sexual psyche (men AND women) and has now become the exclusive reserve of those who have the audacity to actually "own" the truth of the experience....in spite of societal influences which are currently leading them away from such "nasty" truths!!
i agree many people are going to be too afraid or just not enough interest to go deep and have a very intense and creative sexual experience where they understand and explore their kinks. the weird thing is for a woman having a lot of sexual partners will get some of their kinks met in an unintentional way because since most men are so clueless about what women want and many women aren't comfortable being direct about what they want it becomes a very masochistic and often quite dark experience for them which fulfills those dark kinks often in a somewhat dangerous way
Completely agree
What is your opinion about women who when they are approached by guys and being complimented, they treat them like they are creeps? What is the thought process behind this?
guys act very creepy sometimes unintentionally sometimes intentionally due to them being obsessed with hotness, casual sex and being very insecure and lacking social skills so it affects their ability to have a normal non creepy conversation and women feel that and don't like it, and don't have much compassion since they lack understanding of men and interpret it in the worst possible light
So well spoken, excellent job
Welcome back to TH-cam… 👍
My primal fantasy is to be able to talk to a woman about my day or feelings instead of a tree.
This makes a lot of sense wow. Especially the nature doc reference
Goodday, I hope you are well and in good spirits. Thank you madam for an enlightening footage.
Your right @mynonleatherlife . I have had several women fall under my "spell" and give me control of them for a while. One in particular, I was able to stop her anxiety attack just by standing close to her and telling her to relax and I had the situation at hand, under control. She asked how I did that and I told her I didn't know ( truth is I knew that by projecting a protective vibe emotionally would probably help because women read emotions. I just played stupid cause I could tell she would probably not have left me alone if I told her it was intentional, and I didn't want to take advantage of her/ break her heart later. Just wanted to help her cause I know what those attacks feel like. I did it again with another one while I massaged her scalp stopping her migraine that she'd had for 3 days.
Ah a new video from you…can’t wait to listen to it
This olso explains the seek of herarchy in human history. The wanting to be dominated, seeking of the savior, the lider, the propet, the messiah or the seek of answers in "Autority".
In my personal live since little i always wanted to be the 2 in charge in herarchy. I wanted to be something like the advisor, like what Merlin was to king Arthur or Judas to Jesus in the film "The Last Temptation of Christ". I dident want to have people under my wing but i liked the the concept to have a leader to follow and respect, showing him other perspectives to understand ideas and at the same time having the same or close capabilities like him.
But seeking for this "Leader" i figured out than there was no leader outside, there was no leader for no one outside. That is an ILUSION. It was a thought implemented be my familiar and chrisitan religous enviroment, or may be by my own insecurities and my lack of will to seek truth within and not outside. Cose taking an outside concept to confort our insegurities detach all responsability and put it in to others so we feel save, but we lose freedom in the proces and reduce our outcome to fail or succes limiting the expresion of ourselves appearing the tabu when we seek new ways of expresion. You become a heretic and feel ashamed about it.
But the truth is that you are the leader, the captain of your ship and the only thing you kneel to is the sea of possibilities searching for the perfect expression.
Thanks Victoria, keep the good work!
How can we tell if a woman is wanting to be "brat tamed" or just being rude and hates me?
she will tell you. don't do anything without consent unless you understand the behavior so deeply that u know how to modulate it to be appropriate for every variety of situation. If you understand it great u will understand how to do a brat taming lite response basically just verbal teasing and sparring
@@mynonleatherlife Well not many women is that direct. It's hard to read the air as a man
@@thomass8871 😂 if it’s Chad the pantries would have already been off and no games
Another excellent video. Will definitely be checking out the Story of O. The way u explain things so clearly and precisely is quite remarkable.
🙏🏼thank you
There was also a "Story of O" movie that I thought was good.
She also recommended another book "Owned and Owner" the link is in the video description "more," and I just went to Am z on and the Kindle version was FREE!
The final data set.
👽
You are a gem!
thanks anwar
Ehii, thank you for all your advices,,
Yeah, I know, sometimes all these emotional things at the end, could be a bit stressful for me, but is the only way a the end
Dominance hierarchies are structured safety, but holding together a selection system ruled by the dominant male. It is the structure for religiousness, submission brings us close to a transcendant state. So our neurology is a ladder system that has the asymmetrical component of ultimate submission in opposition to ultimate transcendence. All meaning is derived from inputs from the external world onto our structured hierarchical neurological system....the high brain correlated to the safety sexual reproductive circuits.
What was the name of the second book, besides Story of O - I didn't hear you say it but maybe I missed it. Really interesting video Victoria!
owned and owner
@@mynonleatherlife Thanks!
If you are a dominant man, can create a safe space, and can create a structured yet exciting life... my experience is you can get any woman who wants this to level 8.
well if they want level 8 in the first place then they will be excited for the opportunity to get to level 8
Finally, the return of the champion.
😂thanks J G
It did make sense. Over 25 years ago I heard from a guy in his 40ies, and I wasn't even 18, that women want to be slaves. He just put it this simple, and he's been very successful with women, although his good looks helped I assume.
people have submissive fantasies....but it is quite different than saying people want to be slaves. so dont confuse the two
My favourite vegan kinkster returns to help us unravel the mysteries of the female sexuality .
Since I learned that my dominant instincts are actually desired by females , my brain has been on fire.
My wife's body has been responding very positively so far . Can't wait to learn more.
oh wow, fantastic that it's heating things up with ur wife
@@mynonleatherlife I was enjoying this till he said vegan 😎😂😂😂😂😎😉
One of my favorite parts of your videos is where you make recommendations. This story of O sounds a bit to extreme for me to read the whole thing and you seem to cover the overall ideas well, but I am currently reading feeling good by dr david burns. Please keep the awesome recommendations along with your amazing content coming. Thank you!
my all time fave read...feeling good is the book that helped me the most in my life. How are you liking it? Burns is king
There is a "Story of O" movie made that is very nice.
is there a similar vortex for men or does this only happen to women?
How has this girl not been on a podcast with Jordan Peterson?! This is amazing! 🤯
I wouldn’t go if he asked me. I dislike him a lot
@@mynonleatherlife oh interesting, fair enough!
I want to definitely does not need to go to respect her or feel safe around him for her to be turned on by BTSM up!
Bravo! Respect!
thanks so much for sharing your truth
Love your content. It always put me a smile that people are creating this kind of content when a visit your channel from time to time. I have a question: Have you written a book with your thoughts or have you thought about writing a book?
I thought about writing an e book. I tried writing one for women already
The main thing women don't understand about us is we are consistent. How you do anything is how you do everything. That's our mindset. Respecting you and wanting to R you are complete polar opposites lol. To us, that's literally two different people. How do you expect a guy to make that transition "smoothly."
Well said. This whole video, even if true, discusses kinds of relationships I don’t want to pursue. She seems to just think it’s fine for men to indulge this stuff.
@@EresirThe1stit is fine for men she chooses to indulge in these things with her because it is what really rings her bell and resonates within her. There is something else…she is trying to HELP you and men in general. Because there are A LOT of women quietly hungering for a man who is confident and dominant in general, but who also really turns that “volume” level up to high in the bedroom. They don’t necessarily want to be humiliated/embarrassed/exposed in front of their mom in public. They don’t even want to verbally admit it to themselves or to their partner in the bedroom, but the ideas and desires lurk in the shadows of her mind. If a man can harness her and ride her to her desired destination it can be a powerful and greatly appreciated release for her. Perhaps the darkest thing of all is that one man fails to give that to her she may start looking for another man who can. Help her and help yourself.
Considering humans are a Tournament Mating species where the men compete and the victor takes the spoils it makes perfect sense that such things would turn a woman on. It's also got to be a huge ego boost for a woman to have two hot and powerful men so attracted to her that they'd come to violence to decide who will mate with her, at least on a subconscious level. This is all natural and when experienced in the right context can be a beautiful thing for man and wife, but it's so dark most fear to really think too much on it let alone really delve into it. For being willing to talk about it as a woman and your experience of it I salute you, that can't be easy making yourself so vulnerable but I think you're likely to help a lot of people with these videos so keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
thanks a lot and where did you hear about how humans are a Tournament Mating species ...that's very interesting
Level 8 women seem to be drawn to Me and My Primal instincts.
Thank you for this video.
Did u find it helpful
@@mynonleatherlife Yes
Hey, great video, very interesting and insightful! Information about this is hard to come by, and I think it can be very valuable for people to hear. I suspect a lot of conflict between the sexes has its roots in misunderstandings surrounding these topics.
Personally, this topic causes me anxiety, and I'm trying to figure out why.
Part of me says that the anxiety means that there is something wrong with all this "darkness" and that I should hold out for something better. I should hold out for a sexuality that, far from being the suicidal downward spiral of The Story of O, is uplifting, warm and life affirming. (Though maybe these things can be combined somehow?)
The other part of me says the anxiety is coming from insecurities surrounding assertiveness and being dominant, which may well be the case. I don't really know what to believe.
I recognize that there is something resonant about these "dark" fantasies. They're certainly deeply arousing. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're right, or good. I feel there's something unwholesome hanging over it that I just can't shake. I guess I'm idealistic. I want the good to win, and I'm having trouble seeing exactly how the good is compatible with these "dark" traits.
Hm... thinking about it some more I can see it working in the context of very deep trust. If it's a certainty to both parties that what they are engaging in is play, that it has no "serious" implication on the outside, then I might be on board. But trust like that is hard to establish and it seems to me most people who engage in these kinds of acts cut corners with it in their eagerness to get to the pleasure.
In any case, I have some questions I'd love to hear your thoughts on:
1) Do you think that "the call of the vortex" could play a role sometimes in cases of domestic violence? I can imagine that it could cause a sexually frustrated woman to subconsciously try to get her man to be more dominant and controlling by challenging him. If the man doesn't understand her desires and doesn't have empathy for them, then he might interpret her "tests" as disrespect or antagonism. And that, coupled with the conviction of being unable to sexually satisfy her, could cause him to build up resentment towards her which may take them down the road of domestic violence. What do you think? It seems plausible to me that if not properly understood by both parties, "the call of the void" could manifest as a force in that direction. Or do you think they are entirely unrelated?
2) Most of the things you talk about have these "dark" elements to them. Are there any sources of arousal that are wholesome? Are they just not as intense?
3) You said something in a reply to another comment that made me curious: "Like for me the facial expressions (that convey powerful masculine traits) a guy could make is prob as intense as a man staring at a female body part". What sort of facial expressions? His confidence?
Thanks a lot for your video, and thanks in advance for your answers if you choose to reply.
I understand your thoughts and think you’re on to something good. The instincts she’s talking about are truly our ancient animal instincts and she’s amazing at explaining them. The difference between human and ape is that, at some point, we denied these instincts in favor of something more “enlightened“. Something animals can’t do. It lead humanity out of the animal kingdom and to a place we’re we can walk the streets in relative safety and have countless conveniences at our fingertips. Holding our animal instincts in such high regard is a mistake. 1,000 years ago, this dominant sl@ve master male would club a gentle farmer over the head, steal his crop, grape his wife and daughter and pass his genes on through evolution. We, as humans, decided to fight against our evolutionary programming to elevate that gentle person and incarcerate that dominant sl@ve master person. This is an amazing accomplishment. As for having to deny some primal urges, welcome to civilization. Men do it all of the time and are expected to. Anyway, those are my thoughts. Thanks for reading.
I enjoyed reading your comment a lot. the relationship I have with my bf is extremely wholesome in my opinion and the only reason this fantasy is important to know is basically for straight up fun and excitement. For me doing bdsm influenced fantasies is like a extreme sports hobby I enjoy cuz it's exciting and fun. As I said in the vid, most women are not going to want a 24/7 relationship. But they might want to dabble or have a little flavor here and there. I just think it would be ideal if guys understood the extreme form because then they wouldn't make little mistakes and misinterpretations when doing just dominance lite in casual dating stuff. So you don't have to be this super dark alpha male. It would just be good if you understood the concept and applied it for fun if she even wants you to. Hope that makes sense. Question 1- I don't think it would ever work like that where she would try to get an already violent man to be more violent. It wouldn't make sense. But I do think it is what causes women to be subconsciously drawn to men who are the type to get violent in the first place. But no woman wants a guy who already is violent to be more so. The only time they'd want to encourage a guy to be more agressive is if he lacked much of that to begin with 2. absolutely. you would prob find the idea of true love and marriage quite wholesome. I just see that as having a kinky flavor to it but it's so LITE that most people prob don't even notice and just see it as wholesome. 3. that is a vid I want to make soon actually
also lots of women get into spiritual sexuality or tantra influenced sexual info out there because they find it to be a more wholesome way of describing bdsm. They can talk about polarity instead of domination and submission. And Presence instead of being dominant and consciousness instead of giving orders etc. It's wholesome but it's just for people who want to avoid being too sexual and being too dirty imo so I prefer to use kinky terminology.
@@tlewis84able Yeah, that might be right. I wonder if it would work to just ignore those urges though. Maybe they will always make their presence known in once shape or another whether we like it or not. In that case maybe it's better to try to find some healthy way to accommodate them, assuming that's possible.
@@mynonleatherlife 1) Okay, thanks. That makes sense.
2) I was thinking something wholesome that's more immediately sexually arousing. I assume you don't mean I should start monologuing about marriage in the bedroom. So like, for example, what is your idea of sensuality? Do you use that concept? Or do you associate that also with domination and submission? In some of your videos you've mentioned DDLG. Though not exactly vanilla, maybe that's more wholesome? Don't know much about it.
3) Cool. I'm excited to see it.
Another question!
4) What do you think about porn? Good? Bad? Is it mainly catering to male fantasies (at least in the mainstream)? If so, what would porn more oriented towards women look like? More BDSM type stuff? Or just the camera focusing more on the guy? What about its effect on society? Does it make men worse lovers?
Very interesting, i did my own study and essay into female sexuality because i wanted to know if there was a link between men and women sexual dynamics and leadership and power in a professional setting. I asked women outside a social setting who worked in sex industry's because i knew i wouldn't get " glossy answers" all of them answered pretty much the same to my questions with small variations. I've applied the characteristic's from my studies to my workplace and my professional success's is only going up since then. Women respond differently to me now as well.
where can we see the results of your study
@@mynonleatherlife I never published it anywhere because i wanted to use it for my own development. I've done lots of little study's like this and about humans needs. I can email you it across if you want.
sounds really interesting, I would love to see/hear some of what you found.
@@mn5499 yes please i'd like to read it!
i don't think it's "shocking" these are just primal instincts left over from our early evolution to help us with mating.
shocking is my way of entertaining myself by making clickbait
@@mynonleatherlife lol, it sure works tho, and i guess sexually repressed guys may actually learn a whole lot.
Great content hey Vic where can I download the vortex
Hi, loving the content, very well explained therioes and scenarios. Just wondering if you could do a video on how to get women to 'submit' or want to wear certain clothes I.e knee high boots or leather skirts that the man is really into. How to get the point across as to how much it means to the man and how it brings lots of ongoing desire to the relationship. The best way to tap into that mindset without it seeming demanding but more pleasurable? Hope this makes sense! Many thanks
Never got the second book. 🙂
"Owned and Owner" There is a link in the "More" section of the video description to Am. Z on.
The Kindle version of the book was FREE when I visited there.
Thank god for another vid
Always interesting content, great regards..
thank you very much Iain
This is incredibly insightful!
thanks a lot Rex, did u get anything helpful from it
@@mynonleatherlife Absolutely, it explained our journey from erotic vanilla to BDSM is very clear terms. I think the only thing I would add is that I believe most women need a catalyst, to get them past level three, something like a book, or a BDSM site, both of which most women won't partake of.
@@rexvanburen8942 very very true. there is a fear of learning more when it's so eye opening it's insane to me. I used to be the same and was so scared the first time I began doing research. Now it is so normal to me I'm mad at myself I waited so long to learn more and open the mysteries and learn the patterns of bdsm.
@@rexvanburen8942 and i love how u put that "the journey from erotic vanilla to bdsm"
@@mynonleatherlife The implication there is that you can't be doing "climb on, climb off, missionary with the lights out," and expect any of the above mentioned catalyst to generate anything but horror, or worse.
It would be nice if you recommended a spicy book every time you released a new video, currently reading The Story of O, thx
Great idea Lerone and very cool you are reading it. I'll tell u another one that really opened my eyes: a lover's pinch by peter tupper. another one that made it all click.
I feel like the bottom of the void is total extinction.
Your theory on WHY that final pull down into the vortex is allowed by a woman sounds right to me. I’m not a woman but my intuition tells me you are correct.
what was my theory on why again?
@@mynonleatherlife you said something about how you think it may be pretty standard mammal mating behavior; that when a woman sees men fighting over her, or witnesses the sheer power, intensity, dominance, and worthiness of a man in some other way, it is almost like catnip for a woman and she is susceptible to falling into what is almost like a submissive trance during which time she allows the male to climb on her and f@# her. I’m oversimplifying what you said a litter bit though. I may have gotten wrong some of what you said. I like the way you worded better.
Quick question. You mentioned 2 books at 9:17 but you only gave one (story of o) but didn’t hear second book title???
I find all of this to be very interesting, and something I can connect to (but not fully understand) through my marriage and family relationships. Let me throw another idea out there: rather than saying Master/Slave is at the base of this fantasy, could we describe it differently? Might we say that many women seek 1) a powerful, strong male leader that 2) has certain compassion and understanding of her needs, but 3) will not put her needs above his or his family, and 4) will form practical life structures for them both to support a positive, growing, and fruitful lifestyle?
Hello will, i agree with 1 (tho what constitutes a powerful strong male leader could def vary and it doesn't only have to be one way), 2 yes, 3 I guess if it helps guys to have more of a backbone tho I wouldn't say it needs to be a hard rule that he could never put her needs first, and 4 what did u mean by a practical life structure
Watch 50 shades of grey.