@@Zretgul_timerunner 'The Valefish Track Record of War Crimes Committed Against Various Nameless Soldiers In Various Video Games' or TVTRWCCAVNSVVG, also known as the most beautiful and totally pronounceable acronym ever
I'd like to recommend the COH2 mod "The Advanced Powers", seems to have the ethos of making everyone op as shit. Each faction has several specialisations, which can all completely change the way they're played. Wehrmacht has : The Japanese, giving them access to a bunch of new infantry, and a rather effective suicide bombing truck. The Ubersoldaten program, leaving them with very few vehicles, but much more powerful and varied infantry force (such as gmg emplacements) The Panzerkraft program gives them a BUNCH of different vehicles, all of which can be customised. Most importantly, it has the Maus, which can also mount propaganda speakers. OKW has : Zombies. Unrestricted chemical warfare (and Phosphurus Spewing Hetzers) Soviets have : Mass Armour rushes, decreasing the cost of tanks, and increasing the numbers available, but decreasing ammunition income and variety of infantry available. Infantry spam, allowing them to bring out 20 man squads of partizans with pistols, but they can hijak enemy vehicles, taking them over like absolute madlads. US has : Mass, indiscriminate explosive usage, including bombers and big guns, including minigun exoskeleton soldiers. The MARINES, OORAH British have : Resorting to trench warfare with a standard infantry squad you can upgrade into pretty much any role. Raid tactics, to make them almost as cheesy as in CoH 1, which, among other things, gives ALL of their units camouflage, including tanks, so you can bring in Invisible Churchills.
V1 just means there's 1 condensed Valefisk in that rocket V2 was more powerful, because there's 2 Valefisks in it V3 could apparently reach the East Coast, that's because it had a war crime propulsion
"The allies repaired the bridge to the west and are moving in on our base" "Our panther and King Tiger are going to push to their base" "Valefisk... the panzers" "The panzer were destroy by Airbornes and AT guns. They cannot push anymore"
ehhh, easy task even for a person like him. He just has to play a game, where you literally CAN'T commit war crimes. Now, if your challenge was called "try NOT to commit war crimes in Company of Heroes", that'd be practically an impossible task for him to complete.
@@samhansen9771 really good argument, now I don't know, hmmmmm...oh, what if he plays a game that is NOT a war game and has nothing to do with any armed or even unarmed conflicts at all!?
0:46 Vale, relax, we all know Wehrmacht troops were innocent and didn't participate in any warcrimes. They were just standing close. Watching. Siletly judging. Just like ther most innocent man in the world, Hirohito...
You're favorite imperial guard regiment must be the death korps of krieg... I know that you're every kriegsmans favorite TH-camr do... You would make an excellent krieg commander as well!
On ai difficulty normal and up the AI has no fog of war, gets extra starting resources, has increased armor, and has increased accuracy. It also has significantly less cooldown on abilities. Basically, the ai cheats to win because it's so brain dead.
Thing you missed, Vale, is that if you use terror doctrine, the scary propaganda is actually super effective for getting rid of infantry. If there's no infantry, you can kill the AT guns with your own infantry.
If you like choke points, you will LOVE 38th Parallel. Your love of choke points is the same as mine, as the experience of your enemies fruitlessly throwing themselves at MGs is just so god damn SATISFYING.
Operation Citadel and he says "If we can just take out these guns, I think we could make a little push for the centre... OH!" - that's so accurate it got me laughing out loud
Oh the Wehrmacht. I have exactly 1 instance using them that would have been video gold. It was the map Route N13. I was playing vs my dad who was US and went ranger tree. I got a King Tiger and made a push on his base. It didnt go well, but as I was retreating my lone King Tiger down the center road back to my base, my dad was chasing it with 2-3 ranger squads with their Zooka's and an M8 Armored Car. He got my KT down to a sliver of health but every single round he fired into its ass, the entire way back to my base, bounced. I got my King Kitty back to base and repaired it. I think my dad gave up after that...cuz I dont remember much else about that fight. Wehrmact truly do make Wunderwaffe.
Heh, this is basically me playing any RTS. Capture with infantry. AI takes it immediately. Send in tanks. AI has AT weapons. Use super weapon. AI rebuilds immediately. Plan out this ridiculous, complex, multi-unit strategy to counterattack. AI counters me with two units.
This has to be one of your best videos.
Italy was your Ally
@@godzillagamer6942 That makes too much sense
@PINGOKING Rimworld is one of his best videos but the warcrimes on company of heroes make it slightly better :)
4:20 it's the goliath incident all over again
Dont worry... It is
"History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce."
Pretty well summarizes the last half of this video.
History doesn’t repeat itself
but it does rhyme.
Don’t you mean that Whalefish first reveals himself as a demon that rains death upon the land, then as a great hero?
Thirdly as a blyat
What's My Life Valefisk’s Civ 3 adventures where he Ghandi’s himself.
Go commit nothing happened
If Valefisk ever jumps into politics (probably never) his opposition is going to use the company of heroes videos to easily dispose of him
He will be the next Douglas MacArthur.
Not if he gets into politics by *FORCE.*
Your mistake is not expecting him to immediately burn all his opposition with flamethrowers.
The capitalist pigs tried that, and failed
Unless Valefisk uses his war crime experience to dispose of THEM. If that happens...God help us all.
The best WWII reenactment on the market, right here ladies and gents
saratoga best gril
Men of war???
“Time to spam pioneers.” -Hitler 1945 as he recruits the young and old for the battle of Berlin.
Nah nah nah volksgrenadiers
@@thekommunistkrusader3921Volkssturm*
What the V in V1 Rocket stands for?
Valefrisk because of the amount of warcrimes commited with it
Vengeance I think
Or maybe its equivalent in the German language
@@aaroncabatingan5238 Vergeltungswaffe 1 (Vengeance weapon 1 in English)
Br Br Br
Nós encontramos de novo parceiro
You may think: "But Valefisk commited more than 1 (V1) warcrime!"
Yes, but the 1 in V1 stands for 1 trilion.
"Without getting me on some kind of a list in the Hague" Implying your not on several such lists?
He probadly have his own dedicated list
@@Zretgul_timerunner 'The Valefish Track Record of War Crimes Committed Against Various Nameless Soldiers In Various Video Games' or TVTRWCCAVNSVVG, also known as the most beautiful and totally pronounceable acronym ever
@@edgyteen7987 Heres help for the pronounciation: The Teviteardoubleuceceavienesvivigee
you know, historically speaking, this was pretty accurate, all the way down to the useless teammate.
Looking at you,Mussolini
I'd like to recommend the COH2 mod "The Advanced Powers", seems to have the ethos of making everyone op as shit. Each faction has several specialisations, which can all completely change the way they're played.
Wehrmacht has : The Japanese, giving them access to a bunch of new infantry, and a rather effective suicide bombing truck.
The Ubersoldaten program, leaving them with very few vehicles, but much more powerful and varied infantry force (such as gmg emplacements)
The Panzerkraft program gives them a BUNCH of different vehicles, all of which can be customised. Most importantly, it has the Maus, which can also mount propaganda speakers.
OKW has : Zombies.
Unrestricted chemical warfare (and Phosphurus Spewing Hetzers)
Soviets have : Mass Armour rushes, decreasing the cost of tanks, and increasing the numbers available, but decreasing ammunition income and variety of infantry available.
Infantry spam, allowing them to bring out 20 man squads of partizans with pistols, but they can hijak enemy vehicles, taking them over like absolute madlads.
US has : Mass, indiscriminate explosive usage, including bombers and big guns, including minigun exoskeleton soldiers.
The MARINES, OORAH
British have : Resorting to trench warfare with a standard infantry squad you can upgrade into pretty much any role.
Raid tactics, to make them almost as cheesy as in CoH 1, which, among other things, gives ALL of their units camouflage, including tanks, so you can bring in Invisible Churchills.
This is late but do you supposedly have a link to this said Warcrime simulation x2 mod?
@@rakosh5209 This is late but go look for steam COH2 workshop for "The Advanced Powers"
I believe that he played this in his recent video
You forgot the Soviet Shock army, where virtually everyone has body armor and PPSH's, and they also have tanky ass juggernauts.
"If he doesn't lose the engine"
*_turns the tiger's engine towards the anti tank guns_*
" I bet you're too scared to shoot "
V1 just means there's 1 condensed Valefisk in that rocket
V2 was more powerful, because there's 2 Valefisks in it
V3 could apparently reach the East Coast, that's because it had a war crime propulsion
"We can pull this back, it's okay"
-Hitler, hiding in the bunker
*sees Valefisk video*
*war crimes intensify*
Uh... how is your comment a day before the video comes out?
Vale impersonated Hitler even more by keeping his tanks in a defensive emplacement and only moving them forward when it was to late
Vale, the Geneva Conventions is a list of things you AREN'T supposed to do, not a guidebook!
LIES! SLANDER!
Something something Geneva suggestion
WHAT WAS THAT?
*flames civilians*
WHAAAAT?
*shoota pows*
SORRY WHAAAAT?
*kills medical personnel*
"The allies repaired the bridge to the west and are moving in on our base"
"Our panther and King Tiger are going to push to their base"
"Valefisk... the panzers"
"The panzer were destroy by Airbornes and AT guns. They cannot push anymore"
*NIEN NIEN NIEN NIEN NIEN*
"All I want to do is burn people. Is that really so bad?"
-Valefisk, 2019
"This is not gonna end well, this is the end of me"
holy shit lmao
Loving your vids Vale. Keep the warcrimes coming
The map at the start of the video is already looking like a waffle....
*...I Like where this is going...*
a wunderwaffle...
You deserve a award for being the first non-eu to pronounce Wehrmacht. Well done!
I was just for him to yell "FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN FEGELEIN!"
*puts friendly AI on easy and enemy AIs on hard and normal*
“This is gonna be a bit harder than I expected it to be”
Vale "Bomb everything" FIsk has returned!!!
now do a "TRY NO TO COMMIT WAR CRIME" challenge
The greatest challenge yet!
ehhh, easy task even for a person like him. He just has to play a game, where you literally CAN'T commit war crimes. Now, if your challenge was called "try NOT to commit war crimes in Company of Heroes", that'd be practically an impossible task for him to complete.
@@ЯношБан him playing a game where he can't commit war crimes is a challenge in itself
@@samhansen9771 really good argument, now I don't know, hmmmmm...oh, what if he plays a game that is NOT a war game and has nothing to do with any armed or even unarmed conflicts at all!?
@@ЯношБан he'd find a way to commit a war crime
0:46
Vale, relax, we all know Wehrmacht troops were innocent and didn't participate in any warcrimes. They were just standing close. Watching. Siletly judging. Just like ther most innocent man in the world, Hirohito...
Hirohito would never order the bayoneting of babies or rape of Chinese women. It goes against Bushido.
The penal battalions in the Wehrmacht didn't help much. Yes. The Germans had those too.
Hirohito never ordered live dissections on living Chinese people
@@somethingsomewhat8860 Pretty sure the term is vivisections.
@@walnzell9328 lmfao people actually believe this shit
You're favorite imperial guard regiment must be the death korps of krieg...
I know that you're every kriegsmans favorite TH-camr do...
You would make an excellent krieg commander as well!
So do we see him play Dawn of War 2 with the Death Korps of Krieg skin pack on?
YES
@@duncanharrell5009
I'm pretty sure that there's a Dow 1 mod for them...
Quick, no one tell him about Blitzkrieg and the Afrika '43 addon.
Also don't inform him about the Far East mod, containing Kamikaze squads and a legit order to banzai
"This was not how it was supposed to go!"
Sounding really Hitlerish right there.
Pro tip: when you put a goliath on the bridge, just leave it there. let the enemy shoot it while crossing and blow themselves up.
Valefisk: sector clear
Ai: pushes across river
Valefisk: NOT CLEAR SECTOR NOT CLEAR
"Lets bring the Wirblewind"
Send an Ostwind instead
Me: Launches Company of Heroes 2
Steam: Hippity Hoppity time to crash your desktoppity!
Are you meming, or are you literally unable to play COH2?
It actually broke my gaming PC. That's why i'm here.
COH 2 is shit, though when compared to COH
If I had a quarter for every time Vale said "this isn't good," I'd have enough to pay off his legal fees.
On ai difficulty normal and up the AI has no fog of war, gets extra starting resources, has increased armor, and has increased accuracy. It also has significantly less cooldown on abilities.
Basically, the ai cheats to win because it's so brain dead.
when war crimes aren't enough for valefisk
But how about this Valefisk: COH, but with the blitzkrieg mod? eh? eeeeh? there's some good crime to pull off there.
Mere realism = faster warcrimes! :-)
Plagued by a combination of airborne, AT guns, and mortars hunkered down in one point of the map?
Allow me to introduce my friend, the Nebelwerfer.
Hans.
....
Get ze Flammenwerfer.
Can't wait to see some double Sherman Calliope shenanigans with the USA Armor Company
Vale, your videos keep me alive
Valefisk, teaching us history since 2019.
The most accurate historical recreation of World War 2
Thing you missed, Vale, is that if you use terror doctrine, the scary propaganda is actually super effective for getting rid of infantry. If there's no infantry, you can kill the AT guns with your own infantry.
Valefisk: continuing to bring players to a now mostly dead game.
So that they may commit war crimes in his names
Hey I still play this game with my friends, with BK mod. Better than most of the games out today
For more war crimes try the US Sherman with Mine Flail. Run it into infantry and laugh like a maniac.
If you like choke points, you will LOVE 38th Parallel. Your love of choke points is the same as mine, as the experience of your enemies fruitlessly throwing themselves at MGs is just so god damn SATISFYING.
Sabaton:They are the Panzer Elite, born to comp--
Valefisk:They are useless
You know things are bad when you hear your commanding officer muttering something about Eldritch Horrors lurking in the fog.
17:00 Mustage man approaches casually*
Hey kids wanna fight for the Fatherland?
One little tip - you can move tanks backwards!
I like how every cut is:
"oh for fuck's sake"
"omg"
"fuck"
" *sigh* oh fuck"
this is the best COH video i ever seen so far keep up the work
Pounded by pounders lmao
But with that much manpower ya could've just gone for mass Whirlwind x AT for double penetrating action!
I just started watching your channel with a Skyrim video and now this... I can't believe it. Two of my favorite games. You're now my God
“Ah damn we didn’t get it though the bridge is still intact”
-historically accurate depiction of Germany
Operation Citadel and he says "If we can just take out these guns, I think we could make a little push for the centre... OH!" - that's so accurate it got me laughing out loud
1945 “Commit Seppuku”
OMG I’m dying!!! 😂
"Holy shit" - Hitlerfisk after seeing the effect of the V1 rocket
Thank you for putting extra effort into this video, it made the video one of your best.
Vale: You had firestorm. FIRE. STORM.
You should play the Wikinger Mod for CoH2. You can commit more war crimes with a Sturmtiger and Flame Hetzers and the SS.
No matter how many times you use it, the V1 always makes you go 'hooooly shit'
Nothing like Warcrimes to start the day
You should do a playthrough where you don't do war crimes in the first 3 minutes
11:32 you needed those guys *A LONG TIME AGO* lol
inb4 3 reuploads
oh wait this isnt ISP
This has to be your best Company of Heroes video ever
Oh my, “the strongest defence is a good offence” is still to be confirmed.
You could always just leave a Goliath in green cover on the bridge and let’s the AI blow it up killing themselves.
Spartans would love you with the whole choke point thing
The Battle of the Bulge part was TOO spot-on xD
*After video*
UN: You were right about that list... to Prague you go
Valefisk: Damn
when you have firestorm but you wait for ze v1
“Make a push for center”
More like army group center
Inject this directly into my veins.
You were right that date plus what ur saying g matches perfectly well
Just found your channel today, and I'm liking what I'm seeing.
As a thing though, watching this CoH seems much more involved and fleshed out than CoH2
Ah yes, the famous Wonderwaffles, they are cooked using the...
*F L A M M E N W E R F E R*
So accurate for the moment that is history XDDDDD
Oh the Wehrmacht. I have exactly 1 instance using them that would have been video gold.
It was the map Route N13. I was playing vs my dad who was US and went ranger tree. I got a King Tiger and made a push on his base. It didnt go well, but as I was retreating my lone King Tiger down the center road back to my base, my dad was chasing it with 2-3 ranger squads with their Zooka's and an M8 Armored Car. He got my KT down to a sliver of health but every single round he fired into its ass, the entire way back to my base, bounced. I got my King Kitty back to base and repaired it. I think my dad gave up after that...cuz I dont remember much else about that fight.
Wehrmact truly do make Wunderwaffe.
I loved the WW2 documentary
*Normandy Landings*
Hitler: "Holy shit, look at it all"
V1? Wunderwaffe? What a joke! *All shall bow to the mighty Ratte* !
Also F for Bruno Ganz
I am now subscribed for your CoH content. This is amazing
4:23 - "oh, hello. I have a better jeep than you".. 😂 😂
First time on channel, definitely not the last..
Heh, this is basically me playing any RTS.
Capture with infantry. AI takes it immediately.
Send in tanks. AI has AT weapons.
Use super weapon. AI rebuilds immediately.
Plan out this ridiculous, complex, multi-unit strategy to counterattack. AI counters me with two units.
It's ok Vale.
Choking people appeals to me too.
That's how you win. "It's cool, I meant to do that, all part of the plan."
'Vale-it's not a warcrime if it goes faster than light- fisk' is back my boys
"They have HENTAI-TANK!"
Ah my favorite quote of ol Aldofs; "aw fuck"
Finally first you get me to play this and now I know how to meme with my favorite faction
Why am I hearing the Windows log off sound when the sniper dies?
This video was ridiculously entertaining, funniest thing I've seen all week!
As a tank nerd I have to say that you're killing me with that Stug pronunciation
IN THE SKIES ABOVE THE ISLE, ACES IN EXILE PREVAIL
You're not bad. You're just historically accurate
Has 3000 points of infantry. Refuses to spawn infantry. “How could I be loosing?”
That Maurer from the AI was Italy, did nothing and got destroyed almost instantly