The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck: Mark Manson | E111

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 พ.ค. 2024
  • This weeks episode entitled 'The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck' topics:
    0:00 Intro
    02:07 Your early years
    18:22 Pickup artistry
    22:46 Rejection and self worth in relationships
    27:27 Characteristics of a good relationship
    34:12 Trying to find purpose
    43:55 Why you have to treat people well
    47:33 How to figure out what you actually want
    54:15 The values that allow you to be fulfilled
    01:02:55 Personal responsibility
    01:07:43 Is happiness a choice?
    01:12:00 Mental health
    01:25:30 Finding your new why
    01:32:12 The last guests question
    Mark:
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson
    THE DIARY OF A CEO LIVE TICKETS ON SALE NOW 🚀- g2ul0.app.link/diaryofaceolive
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ความคิดเห็น • 902

  • @TheDiaryOfACEO
    @TheDiaryOfACEO  2 ปีที่แล้ว +409

    Mark is incredibly wise, open and honest and the insights from this conversation are invaluable 🤯… hit like and subscribe for a new episode every Monday

    • @Young_Techiez
      @Young_Techiez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Hey Steven. Thank you for what you have created, thank you so much. Alot of love from Kenya 🇰🇪. Your podcast is a big influence on mine. Quick question, I hope you see this...Do your guests come on at a fee or are they all at no cost?
      @The Diary Of A CEO

    • @WilliamJonesChess
      @WilliamJonesChess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Top Moments- Released 20th August 2021- Watched Saturday 14th May 2022
      [ ] = own thoughts
      1. MM: Dad’s business really took off 8:40 We were middle class.
      When I am 9, everything gets upgraded. We have BMW’s we are flying 1st class.
      That is the time when my family’s marriage unravelled.
      I learned from such a young age that money does not solve your problems.
      I was blessed at such a young age to learn this lesson. SB: Wow.

      2. We tend to mistake highs for happiness 34:55 making a lot of money, getting an award. But highs are not happiness/fulfilment.

      3. MM 39:12 Go live your values and have them fail you.
      In the case of money [a value] 40:05, you have to buy that Lamborghini and realise it does not fix anything
      [SB and MM both laugh]
      SB: I remember buying a 7-bedroom house with a tennis court, out in the countryside, at 21.
      But I was 1.5 hours from my friends, they cannot see me anyways. I was there for 9 months.
      Then moved to a 1-bedroom flat in the middle of the city.
      41:05 I had to do it and let my value fail me.

      4. MM 41:10 Will Smith story: shows his dad all the cars and bikes he owns.
      Will asks Dad: ‘What do you think?’
      Dad: ‘Why do you have so many cars? You only have 1 ass.’
      What do you need 4 cars for?

      5. MM: why am I doing this 49:50
      MM: it is a question u have to earn.
      To remove a desire from your equation, u have to get some of it first 50:30 and see that it does not work!
      [Recall SB’s point above: he bought a car, a house, to realise he does not need it]
      6. SB: What did u come to learn having got all this success, money?
      What did u come to learn that u value? 50:42
      MM: I was 25. But doing this at 35 would be really weird.
      I became a therapist for these lads at bars.
      I should be writing about emotional health.
      Hence, I pivoted from dating to being an emotional coach.
      I can be a 50-year-old still talking about this, and hang my hat on this and feel proud.
      But I never would have got there if I was not a dating coach.

      7. SB: What are the values of Mark that allows you to be fulfilled, sustainable?
      54:15 Honesty, Generosity- spend money on others- it feels much better and means a lot more,
      which creates powerful moments that u cherish for the rest of your life.

      8. MM: When u start out, u say yes to everything 1:00:00
      Then learning to say no gracefully is a skill. Being able to let people down.
      1 way I do this is I tell people I have a rule: ‘I only do 4 events a year. Sorry I cannot do your event.’
      They really respect your rule.
      SB: It is your principle that let you down. He wants to do it but the principle!! [funny]
      9. SB: Why do people hate personal responsibility?
      1:03:30 We tend to mistake responsibility and fault
      1:04:35 There is responsibility in every moment because we are always choosing what to focus on.
      MM says it again here 1:08:08 in every moment u choose what to focus on.
      10. MM: In every moment u are choosing how to see things 1:08:45
      In this sense u can choose to see things in a way that makes u feel better [very well said]
      It is not easy [ simple but not easy] In this sense, happiness [fulfilment] is a choice.
      Will you access fulfilment, will u choose to? [ big question]
      11. SB: As life has got more comfortable, we have gotten into trouble 1:14:50
      [Recall this is what Anna Lembke also said: we are suffering from all this access]
      [The more we have, the more miserable we are. Why?
      Pleasure-pain balance explains this.
      Our brains are not wired for a hyper-convenient world, we are suffering from all this access.
      So, Anne is saying: we are suffering because life can be too easy. Wow.]

      12. SB: When we are comfortable, we give people an existential crisis! [both MM and SB laugh] 1:18:00

      13. MM: You are experiencing the most success of your life, and now u feel aimless
      [ gold medal syndrome- Olympians also experience this after winning gold, they ask; now what?]
      1:21:00 I mentioned this to a unicorn founder, to comedians who get TV specials. They all experience this too.
      14. 1:23:00 I have always written books I needed to read.

    • @archanaharanahalli
      @archanaharanahalli ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you Steven!!

    • @itsmeyoufool37
      @itsmeyoufool37 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I found him rather immature and unlightened

    • @ricardovanvliet7624
      @ricardovanvliet7624 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Young_Techiez a

  • @parisiteparis
    @parisiteparis 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1376

    my trauma therapist says Anxiety is the overestimation of threat and the under estimation of the ability to cope! - hope this helps someone! it saved me! ❤

    • @AshleyEhSMR
      @AshleyEhSMR 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

      That’s a very succinct way to put it. 🎉 Love it!
      Very thought provoking. ❤
      Thanks for sharing.
      I’m saving that.

    • @kenamasunsmith3976
      @kenamasunsmith3976 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      Screenshot worthy. Thanks! Godspeed on your journey.

    • @AutismTheaterProject
      @AutismTheaterProject 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Nice

    • @donnacowan5615
      @donnacowan5615 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Yes. That makes sense. The illusion of it is all too real though. That’s a good thing to write out and leave where it can be seen as a reminder. 😊

    • @ms.bgoddessofempathy3299
      @ms.bgoddessofempathy3299 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Very good, it helped me, I screen shot it

  • @BauerBeauty
    @BauerBeauty ปีที่แล้ว +283

    This was sooooo good. “You can’t just sit on your couch and think ur way out of ur values. U have to go live them and have them fail you”🤯

    • @ketsune23
      @ketsune23 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Right in the point :)

    • @kimsherlock8969
      @kimsherlock8969 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sadly 😥

    • @pvsk10
      @pvsk10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You just can't sit on your couch period

    • @kimsherlock8969
      @kimsherlock8969 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@pvsk10 Hahaha Hahaha 😆

  • @churnetvalleyrunner3635
    @churnetvalleyrunner3635 ปีที่แล้ว +425

    “You’ll stop worrying about what people think of you when you realise how seldom they do” that’s such a powerful quote. Steve your podcasts are changing the lives of many men and woman out there, keep them coming 💙

    • @baeconater8
      @baeconater8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      See I don’t believe this cause I think about other people way more than myself. Not judging them but definitely thinking about their behavior, words, how they make me feel etc.

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah but people sure will gossip about others. Lol!

    • @Selsmittenxo
      @Selsmittenxo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      And if they mind they don't matter 😊 vice versa

    • @squitlawless
      @squitlawless 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@baeconater8I see what you're saying but I'd imagine you're thinking of multiple people rather than one individual. I think the quote is relevant especially in this social media world of the insistence to impress.

    • @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate
      @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      In a freshman business communication class, the professor did the thing where you go around and introduce yourself. It was your name and one interesting fact about you.
      He then offered an A for the class to anyone who could repeat the name and fact for five people (there were maybe 30 people). No takers. Nobody even tried. He then made the point that everyone was thinking about their “interesting fact” too much to take in anyone else’s.
      In other words, nobody cares what you’re saying so stop panicking. Then, he outlined the presentation we had to do; the major project for the class. Good technique.

  • @dr.vincewong
    @dr.vincewong 2 ปีที่แล้ว +256

    Especially liked the section about the importance of treating others well.
    From a brain perspective, we can lie and manipulate others, but our own brain will ALWAYS know the truth of who we are.
    The reason we should treat others well is not just a selfless act, but because it’s good for our OWN mental health!

    • @TheDiaryOfACEO
      @TheDiaryOfACEO  2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Glad you enjoyed it vince 🙌🏽

    • @kimobush2287
      @kimobush2287 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well pointed out about manipulation and deciet causing mental illness. (Hamlet)

    • @pameladigaetano8119
      @pameladigaetano8119 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      AHA moment. That was great.

  • @Liam-B
    @Liam-B ปีที่แล้ว +74

    "There is nothing more painful to the human mind than a great and sudden change."
    -Mary Shelley

    • @PhillipDiPrima
      @PhillipDiPrima ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Agreed (from personal experience)!

    • @stuartmarsden4142
      @stuartmarsden4142 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also there is nothing more educational than having this experience happen to you

  • @Over60sowhat
    @Over60sowhat ปีที่แล้ว +71

    "Unless your problem is you're hungry, money is not going to solve it." Excellent!

    • @cr-nd8qh
      @cr-nd8qh 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Dam I'm about to be hungry

    • @livthedream5885
      @livthedream5885 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Or…if you need a home, want to buy a house, want to go back to school, need medical care, need a car to get a better job…

    • @ReaveIdono
      @ReaveIdono หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@livthedream5885You're being far to micro when he is talking about macro things.

    • @livthedream5885
      @livthedream5885 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ReaveIdono happiness is an individualistic, micro focus. I don’t know what you think he’s talking about.

    • @livthedream5885
      @livthedream5885 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ReaveIdono At a macro level, societies function best with less social and economic inequality, and a more even distribution of resources.

  • @gemmagrant6979
    @gemmagrant6979 ปีที่แล้ว +372

    As a mid thirties female, I didn’t think this would be the podcast for me. He is interesting, wise, has a good awareness of his life, fun in a non-forced way, likeable. Also he doesn’t fit into any particular stereotype - he seems like his own person. Loved this one!

    • @VirgilTStone
      @VirgilTStone ปีที่แล้ว +12

      As a mid 30's female, no one but you cares what you think.

    • @GR8APE69
      @GR8APE69 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      @@VirgilTStone troll

    • @pamengland7863
      @pamengland7863 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @Gemma Grant I am a 52 y/o female & feel the same ✨ I listen to podcasts on my TH-cam to help me concentrate while charting at work & I had to pause to listen after I got home. Surprisingly liked this guest & their interactions. I actually learned from this one. Hope you did as well.😌

    • @lalamunns
      @lalamunns ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I feel the same - especially the fact that these guys are talking in a way which is normally reserved for women... it's quite refreshing.

    • @danyelleorr-mcneil4711
      @danyelleorr-mcneil4711 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And alllll that makes him so hot...😍

  • @Zoe.TheBody360
    @Zoe.TheBody360 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Dopamine Nation...explains what Mark Manson is saying perfectly. You have to give things up...to feel the highs.

  • @cindycox218
    @cindycox218 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

    I love your interview skills. Thanks for letting people talk.

    • @FlwrChld360
      @FlwrChld360 หลายเดือนก่อน

      OMG yes! 😂❤

  • @EveningTV
    @EveningTV ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Please keep in mind everyone that these men are talking about normal people in normal relationships,. What this means is not with narcissists or sociopaths. It is normal to be wounded and insecure, but entering into relationships with people who lack empathy, don't care about anyone's needs but their own and have no ability to love and be loved. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or a sociopath things work differently, and this advice will backfire in the worst possible ways. The prompted me to write this comment was when he started talking about honesty, and while it is always critical to be honest with ourselves in a relationship with a disordered person your honesty will be one sided and as well as used against you. The best advice I can offer is to work on loving yourself and healing your trauma and when you pull people into your orbit and into your heart make sure that they are empathic and they care about your needs, and that your life is better with them in it, and let them go if your life becomes more difficult, confusing, exhausting , and painful.

    • @pameladigaetano8119
      @pameladigaetano8119 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yes! Wonderful insight. There is a balance. Glad I clicked on this!

    • @jenniferrosteski3955
      @jenniferrosteski3955 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Well said!!😊

    • @clairesmall3885
      @clairesmall3885 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I needed this...Thank you for commenting ❤

    • @iamthechangemaker
      @iamthechangemaker 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you! And pickup "artistry" is often just the act of lying and scamming women for sexual gratification instead of stealing money.

  • @matthewphillips6766
    @matthewphillips6766 2 ปีที่แล้ว +257

    I read Subtle Art between hikes as I was trying to reach the top of Kilimanjaro. The book helped to make sense of what I was escaping and what I was hoping to achieve. Without the book I'd have returned home simply feeling good, but with the help of the book I returned home feeling positive. To me, there's a huge difference.

    • @cherylgabriel9551
      @cherylgabriel9551 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Stop

    • @VirgilTStone
      @VirgilTStone ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When I climbed K2, Denali, and Everest, I didn't have time to stop and read books.

    • @matthewphillips6766
      @matthewphillips6766 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@VirgilTStone how very proud you must be. Everyone else has to stop to acclimatise when scaling those peaks, which can take days of sitting around doing nothing (ideal time to read a book or two?). Clearly you just went up there like a true hero. Interesting how you can find time now though to put down my own humble experience. Maybe you can plan another made up trip that never happened?

    • @GR8APE69
      @GR8APE69 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Virgil T. Stone Reading? Lol I WROTE a book while climbing Mount Doom deep in the heart of Mordor. Git gud, nerd

    • @warrentang7459
      @warrentang7459 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh wow

  • @sunnyadams5842
    @sunnyadams5842 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I haven't read all the comments, but immediately I want to point out that what you two are talking about is known as Childhood Emotional Neglect. It's been said that to harm a child you don't have to do a thing. Do nothing, ignore your kids, teach them nothing about emotional regulation, and the child will always wonder if they are ok.
    Marc, we were raised with Benevolent Neglect as the dominant tone of parenting in the 80's.

  • @Lhakfutidayo
    @Lhakfutidayo ปีที่แล้ว +9

    “Stubbornly and unnegotiably protecting my right to be my true self in life” that was so well articulated. I want it printed on a T-shirt.

  • @andreagottlieb8994
    @andreagottlieb8994 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    When I got through Burnout and depression three years ago, Mark's book, which I found on TH-cam, was the first step to change my thinking and priorities. The process is still going on....

  • @ChristinaAaliyah
    @ChristinaAaliyah 2 ปีที่แล้ว +511

    Lewis Hamilton would be an incredible guest on this podcast! I can't even imagine the things Lewis and Steve would talk about 💡🚀

    • @rockboyznative
      @rockboyznative 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yessssssss

    • @tatikapaya
      @tatikapaya 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This would be amazing

    • @ProsperousKei
      @ProsperousKei 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Oh yes 🙌🏾

    • @Blessup13
      @Blessup13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Great shout!!

    • @Juhi200
      @Juhi200 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This is the 111 episode this comment has 111 likes
      I'm seeing synchronicities like crazy
      And the fact that I'm reading his book for the second time right now ! 😂💜✨

  • @Kathleen67.
    @Kathleen67. ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The secret of happiness is knowing how to enjoy what you have.

  • @jonathanmcfadden8499
    @jonathanmcfadden8499 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    Tom Magilozzi said, "Happiness equals reality minus expectations." Another amazing guest, Mark is very insightful. Some very good advice here. I especially liked the part about mental health.

    • @TheDiaryOfACEO
      @TheDiaryOfACEO  2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      🙌🏽 Glad you liked it

    • @jonathanmcfadden8499
      @jonathanmcfadden8499 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheDiaryOfACEO Thank you, Steven. It was most enjoyable.

    • @JC-ce8uw
      @JC-ce8uw 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What if u have high expectations to protect urself?

    • @cecilcharlesofficial
      @cecilcharlesofficial ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "So if I remove expectations, I can expect to be happy?" I'm not actually arguing, because Magliozzi's not wrong. It's just that telling yourself, "Ok, no more expectations then. Now we'll finally be happy," is itself an expectation. The Buddha said, "If you want to stop suffering, cut out desire." To which the disciples went away, tried, and came back, saying, "Yes, but now we're desiring not to desire." We're in a trap in which the desire to get out is the thing that keeps us in. It's weird. People have been toying with this for millennia.

    • @GR8APE69
      @GR8APE69 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Cecil Charles Official It's essentially laymen's Stoicism. Anyone interested in a more philosophical approach to managing expectations in pursuit of happiness should look in to the ancient Stoics. Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations" is probably the best place to start, and it's VERY accessible in a way that a lot of philosophy is not (i.e. it's not overly convoluted or academic).

  • @kristalkearney1136
    @kristalkearney1136 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I have come to find out the way to gage how wealthy you are, is to count all the things you own that money can't buy. ( kindness, loving, compassion, empathy, and so on...)

  • @rachelmoore5255
    @rachelmoore5255 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Such great discussion. People who retire, can you talk about the crisis that they go through, with no purpose, anti climax, etc.

  • @charlottegibbs8950
    @charlottegibbs8950 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    "Unless your problem is you're hungry, money's not gonna fix it."

  • @brianna_crawl
    @brianna_crawl 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Oh Mark🤤 I’m so dazzled by his candid endless mindfulness and profoundness. But the end of reading “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck” I’ve felt like my entire universe took a ginormous pivot and I vividly remember this distinct feeling with every next page I’ve read , it was like something magical would take over my mind and my heart and every cell in my body would start to blossom. I’ve never felt so liberated, awakened and empowered ever before. I didn’t have money to go to therapy when i felt my lowest, and instead I started reading Mark’s book. It felt like it was written for me. It gave me more clarity and awareness than any therapy ever would💔💔💔

    • @annadonahue4119
      @annadonahue4119 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      TY for your encouraging comment!
      I am going to read the book!

  • @privateequityguy
    @privateequityguy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    *”I really hope in 2022 you become THE best version of yourself. I hope it will be your beat year ever"* If you are reading this, take it easy and have an amazing day!!

  • @laurareid9048
    @laurareid9048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    Wow never clicked so fast. Everything about this podcast is perfect, the guests, the diverse questions and insightful theories! There is also an incredible amount of depth in Steven's communication with guests!

    • @TheDiaryOfACEO
      @TheDiaryOfACEO  2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Glad you’re enjoying them Laura

  • @chrischarlescook
    @chrischarlescook 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    One of my favourite aspects of your podcast is the relatable nature of your guests. We all come from different backgrounds, but we are all human and have similar issues in our minds👊

  • @saxon681
    @saxon681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Having read two of his books, I was hoping I wasn't going to be disapointed with hearing him in-person. I wasn't. Great interview.

  • @annaframboise2622
    @annaframboise2622 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    What he describes on the corporate world is so true. Nothing has changed and no one gives a s. about your ideas of improvement, you are paid to perform the same task over and over.

    • @annadonahue4119
      @annadonahue4119 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I've found that the solution for that is to work at a smaller company where you are encouraged to where several hats while the company grows! So exciting building a solid company with a team of people all looking in the same upward direction!

  • @Guitar4life99
    @Guitar4life99 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Accepting responsibility for the event itself when something was out of your control is very different from accepting responsibility for the circumstances and stepping up to do something about it are two very different things, it's an interesting perspective. I quite like that.

  • @averagerow1029
    @averagerow1029 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I love this chat. One of the best so far in my book. I’ve been away for two weeks in the US and I have read his book throughout my trip. I read a chapter a day to let it sink in and my word, some of the lessons he teaches have resonated so much with what I want to do - the fear of failure and rejection is so huge that we just don’t do what we should do.
    I’ve now taken the decision to just do. If people don’t like it then that’s fine, I can deal with that now. This book and approach combined with The Chimp Paradox has really changed my mindset beyond what I ever thought was possible.
    Thanks for the interview Steven - this one is gold!

  • @margaretgallacher1793
    @margaretgallacher1793 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Aww how wonderful to hear 2 guys chatting so openly about everything. Much needed. This was actually my favourite chat so far. Mark is great. Well done Steven, great project xxx

  • @samir_485
    @samir_485 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    This is my first time watching this channel, and man you're an awesome interviewer. You make your guest feel comfortable, you guide the conversation with your personal tales and you make this all interesting and entertaining. Congrats, I'm definitely subscribing.

    • @Cekatu
      @Cekatu 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's why I follow him. I think he is awesome and one of the best, if not the best interviewer on TH-cam. There is also this aura of compassion and kindness that he possesses.

  • @nathanyeo2621
    @nathanyeo2621 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The happiness vs highs makes so much sense. 🙌

    • @LovelyMel99
      @LovelyMel99 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      This was for sure and eyeopener today!

  • @cathyhickson7098
    @cathyhickson7098 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I read this book and it allows you to put things in perspective, What's important who's important and when not to allow things that are not important cause stress in your life.

  • @kristinablagojevic3710
    @kristinablagojevic3710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    He's just the realest person on the internet. His book has changed my life.

  • @tumimotsamai2731
    @tumimotsamai2731 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    There's a responsibility in every moment. That spoke directly to me. Powerful content

  • @regalchic
    @regalchic ปีที่แล้ว +80

    This is one of the realest, most down to earth, and wisest conversations I've listened to on here. The time just sped by for me. I can't begin to describe how beautiful this was. Thank you Steven and Marc. I can't believe I'm just stumbling into this podcast. If these are the kind of conversations that happen here, I'm subscribed!

    • @scottjay1465
      @scottjay1465 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Agreed, I've listened to about 20 of these now and he's the best guest, real values, true and honest. Also so wise. I have to read his books

  • @MartialLiam
    @MartialLiam 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Love the guests you bring on every single time! Also read the book and it's an absolute eye opener, highly recommend!

  • @amanda7444
    @amanda7444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I am so glad that my twin sister introduced me to your podcast, and thank you for sharing such raw, real and authentic conversations you have with people. I have literally been binge watching these for a few days now, and like Steven you genuinely inspire me. Plus you’re genuine and real. Seeing your example, not just as as such a successful person which I find truly inspiring, but as a person of colour has inspired me. And as I sit here, literally now waiting for my surgical operation at the hospital, these podcasts are the things that have helped me to remain relaxed during this anxious period in my life and have helped me to really look at my life from different aspects and the type of life I want to live cause literally my life could be taken any minute, the question is will I feel fulfilled?? This was another good episode, and am looking forward to listening to more! Thanks for sharing this with us.

  • @zacharyzeller7764
    @zacharyzeller7764 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I love the segment about the difference between highs and happiness. It really paints the highs as in an accurately addictive light, where as happiness is the product of work and the contentment thereafter, which really resonated with me. Such a fantastic conversation to hear!

  • @kompetentnyiuczciwy
    @kompetentnyiuczciwy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I had similar situation in my childhood when I quickly learnd that money doesnt buy you happines. Know im learning that im open to learn untill my last breath.

  • @905shooter
    @905shooter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Mark Manson is my favourite author and his second book is my favourite book of all-time. The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck changed my entire life!

  • @cecilcharlesofficial
    @cecilcharlesofficial ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "If your problem isn't 'I'm hungry,' then money's not gonna solve it."

  • @vickiealexander9768
    @vickiealexander9768 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This has to be one of my favourite interview's you've done! I love the section about your values and your why, and how you almost have to earn it. I've never heard it being explained like that before. Thank you so much for sharing! It brought so much clarity to me :)

  • @hibs5516
    @hibs5516 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I understand why I am unhappy with my work. I don't get the high I used to get. It's no longer a source of highs.
    Well I don't know what I'm gonna do but I'm gonna do it.

  • @sugarypompom2900
    @sugarypompom2900 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I’m a flight attendant and always go around in the cabin checking what are people ready. At some flight, there were 4 people ready that book at the same time, in both business and economy cabin’s!

  • @no1djkamilo
    @no1djkamilo ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Loved Mark Manson since the blog days before the books. He had such great writing and his topics were spot on. I’m not surprised he blew up the way he did. It’s definitely well deserved. Great guest!

  • @NikNik0123
    @NikNik0123 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Mark is seriously super smart…Wall Street, coding AND an EQ that’s through the roof! What a man! Been reading his awesome articles since 2012.

  • @alexandraparri
    @alexandraparri 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Such a great interview. I've been contemplating about whether or not I should read the Subtle Art for some time and I've got my answer now. You can tell Mark is so emotionally wise and in general a kind person. Really enjoyed this.

  • @andrewwillard5773
    @andrewwillard5773 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    1:06:12 "I am not the things that happen to me; but how I choose to respond to them" - Kevin Samuels

  • @drewireland7566
    @drewireland7566 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Quote..."You can't just sit on the couch and think your way out of your values... you need to go live them and let them fail you." As a clinician, I have made it a habit of asking my clients to identify their core values for two decades. The vast majority cannot do that and most often ask, "what do you mean?" In other words, they want context for the question, "what do you believe", or "name some of your core values." We never need context to be provided for our thoughts, decisions, feelings or actions. Unfortunately, what a lot of people do is "go live them", they do fail them, and they keep trying. A question we should all ask ourselves is this... "rather than think ourselves into, through or out of our values, or haphazardly going out and living them to test them, maybe we should ask if there are VALUES that are true, everytime and for everyone, which are wise and time tested, which do not originate with us, that we can find, adopt and learn to live by."

  • @anotherwatch
    @anotherwatch ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Read this book a few times when it first came out. I now have it on audible and must have listened to it over 50 plus times. It's a great book not only in terms of self help; it's entertaining too.

    • @alexmassey4708
      @alexmassey4708 ปีที่แล้ว

      Which book? Giving a f**k??

    • @anotherwatch
      @anotherwatch ปีที่แล้ว

      @@alexmassey4708 yup. That one 🙂

  • @hillarykaelomolebatsi4783
    @hillarykaelomolebatsi4783 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of the most authentic interviews I’ve watched on this podcast … there was a feeling of just being and not striving to become anything really …

  • @bobpurcell8357
    @bobpurcell8357 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    As someone who gave too many fucks about too many undeserving assholes, I have found much consolation in the philosophy of Mark Manson. Good to see y'all getting together 👍

    • @annadonahue4119
      @annadonahue4119 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      🤣 Love your book report!
      You guaranteed that I will read the book!
      I hope all the good in your life has grown by geometric progression!

  • @elsakiyemartins7886
    @elsakiyemartins7886 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Listening to this on a Sunday morning felt like Sunday church. Loved when he said you need to get it wrong before getting it right.
    A Lamborghini is a tool to trigger deeper introspection, the empty success is a stepping stone to self-actualisation. On that note, I don't believe self-actualisation is linear. Reaching a higher version of ourselves doesn't need to happen in order. Some people might never be in a space where they don't need to worry about food, house, success. But that shouldn't stop us from self-actualising ourselves. Maslow hierarchy suffers from excludability... self actualisations isn't only for a few.
    Also, glad you have outgrown the pickup artistry. Hopefully, it made you better partner material... hopefully. 😆
    Great chat. Thank you. Looking forward to tomorrow.

  • @SuperMujeebullah
    @SuperMujeebullah ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This has to be one of my favorite interviews you've done! I love the section about your values and you're why, and how you almost have to earn it. I've never heard it being explained like that before. Thank you so much for sharing! It brought so much clarity to me :)

  • @interesting9222
    @interesting9222 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I watch a lot of podcasts and I would say you are my favourite interviewer, best for really getting to know your guests, ask great questions and let them talk

  • @artandculture5262
    @artandculture5262 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I forgot that Mark said that the people in the American south don’t like it when one does what they don’t do. It’s true. I haven’t heard anyone else point that out. The northeast is more pushy so that the atmosphere requires doing something.

  • @anilide_
    @anilide_ ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I resonated with the point you made about one of your friends going from one relationship to another to seek validation and fill a void. But that leading to further destruction in self worth and being further ready to be in a relationship. I've been going through this in the past year and I didn't understand why I keep getting in these 2-3 month relationships I think they're going great but they keep ending. I realized I needed to give myself the proper time to heal and process my emotions after my 3 year relationship ended instead of jumping into new relationships in a couple months. I realized that sometimes, stepping back and taking time for yourself can help break the cycle and allow you to find deeper fulfillment outside of relationships. Remember, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness above all else. So now time to heal. This will be a quiet but peaceful period.

  • @Panchef
    @Panchef ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What an episode! Ive recently stumbled on to Mark Manson and finding out you guys did a podcast filled me with illusion. It was exactly everything I wanted to be. Thank you so much to both of you! It is deeply appreciated!

  • @TheDivineFemedianTarot
    @TheDivineFemedianTarot ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I was cringing at first, but now I see this man as making so much sense and inspiring. Thank you.

  • @annehopland1947
    @annehopland1947 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This made me plow through both of his books «The subtle art of not giving a f*ck», and «Everything is f*cked» in a 3 days!🤗🌷 What a brilliant mind. His take on Kant was an eyeopener🫶 I hope he will write more on this topic as he has a wealth of knowledge about philosophers. Also; such a great reader!🤗🌷👏👏
    Anne, Norway🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

  • @dembashow
    @dembashow ปีที่แล้ว +4

    As always, Mark Mansion has come with an amazing interview, In which you can see that he leaves by the belief of his book by the way he speaks, his body language, the calmness of his voice. This guy is just inbelievable.

  • @inspiringthroughhushtoroar1368
    @inspiringthroughhushtoroar1368 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I absolutely loved this episode!! "You see the code", so true! "Louise Hay"!! She was the one who taught me how to forgive my father for sexually abusing me! Now I help others but never breathe religion or forgiveness down their throats the way my Nigerian family did to me! Thanks Steve! You bring on the best!! ❤

  • @mrjones2516
    @mrjones2516 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Steven I’ve been watching your channel for a while now and I’ve got to say thank you! You put out some really interesting conversations and ask great questions. Please keep up the great work and well done for everything you’ve accomplished.

  • @mikell.6064
    @mikell.6064 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great interview. I like the way you let the guest speak at the same time that you encourage him to open up and chime in on your own perspective.

  • @TheGardenofEdun
    @TheGardenofEdun 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Such a great podcast from one of my favourite authors/writers. Especially loved that section about a certain industry you both dabbled in 👀

  • @jdbranding7368
    @jdbranding7368 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I really dig Marks perspective on things and he has a great sense of humor. Taking personal responsibility for our life and everything we involve ourselves in from our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors empower us to create our dreams. I am starting from scratch and I appreciate this type of direction. I hope to dig from my own experiences and begin sharing these gains in a way that can assist those who struggle with mental health and depression. 😊

  • @silviagschwandtner5256
    @silviagschwandtner5256 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hey Steven, thank you for your incredible conversations. I really appreciate the way you ask questions and surprise your guests as well as your listeners. Love your style of interview a lot and looking forward to have more female guests on your podcasts.

  • @shazmeenbank1630
    @shazmeenbank1630 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I walked past the book so many times buy for some reason I never bought it. But the minute this podcast came up, I had to dive in. Either cause I am completely biased with how amazing @stevebarlett brings out these conversations. I find it hard to listen to other podcasts because Steve does not interrupt the guest at all. You don't complete their sentences. Really wholesome learning. I get out of bed, pick up my phone and my 1hr of "NO phone" is a podcast. Love it

  • @aidenreal6072
    @aidenreal6072 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Stephen, Jay Shetty would be an incredible guest and feel like you both have very similar personalities and ways of thinking. His book “how to think like a monk” is one of the most practical, beneficial books I have come across in the last 2/3 years 🤝

  • @racqueldunn7195
    @racqueldunn7195 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This is where successful founders have an opportunity to reach back a mentor others on their way.
    If that doesn't give you a why after self actualization.

  • @MendyAnkri
    @MendyAnkri ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Bro you're so so good!
    That was 1h34mn of pure experienceable truth and mature and healthy thinking !
    The world has to hear that kind of advices ✨

  • @rachelam18
    @rachelam18 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I read the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F* over a year ago and it totally change my perspective on so many things, it was such an eye opener. I love this guy.
    People definitely need to ditch “The Secret” and read his book instead if they want to make a some changes in their life!

  • @HoofCreaition
    @HoofCreaition ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Wonderful episode! I really love Marc's way of looking at things, and it is great to hear he lost his why, after writing a book that teaches people how to get it. Really great. And your questions are as insightful as ever.

  • @bethsetters1319
    @bethsetters1319 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m a new subscriber and just love what you’re doing. The guests I’ve watched so far have been very thought provoking and have given me so many new perspectives. Thank you for helping me enrich my own personal journey.

  • @terricraig616
    @terricraig616 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Happiness is definitely the steady state ❤️ love the thoughts that have come up x

  • @justmo-identitydesigner362
    @justmo-identitydesigner362 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I listened to this cause I was bored at work; a few moments in I found myself taking notes. Great interview!

  • @khalidagelele7430
    @khalidagelele7430 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "You’ll stop worrying about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do” that's some way to end such insightful and brilliant interview... Steve your podcasts have become our life mentor and has enhanced our knowledge and above all widens our perception of life. I thank you!

  • @George-qo9wq
    @George-qo9wq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    since I found your channel It's all I've been listening to. Thanks so much for the inspirational content

  • @sbIvanov
    @sbIvanov 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Quotes and notes of the podcast:
    "To improve anything, you need to have power and influence over it" ("What is not measured, can't be managed")
    "Making a rule for yourself will allow you to make decision making easier" - Example: If it is not a "F**k Yes", I say "No"
    "Outsized expectations cause anxiety, so managing expectations the correct way would make a huge difference"
    "My words would never overcome your insecurities!"
    "A community is something that will keep you sane and help you grow"
    "Every healthy relationship with someone else starts with a healthy relationship with yourself"
    Honesty should be a standard that you keep yourself to. It will pay off in the long term (can't agree more)
    "It feels and means a lot more when you spend money on other people. As it creates memories for the rest of your life." "Solving a problem with the brain that got you into it, is never a good idea"
    PS: I love that you asked him about "Happiness is a choice" and his response to it!

  • @hayleylee2319
    @hayleylee2319 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Amazing interview 🙌🏻 love all your work steven 💯👏🏻

  • @VoiceBanana
    @VoiceBanana ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing episode. First time I have seen Mark interviewed and he is so much more than I ever expected! Thank you

  • @mfreem50
    @mfreem50 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I read subtle art a few years ago, and it was totally insightful. Especially the part about the responsibilty. It's empowering.

  • @sirwinston2659
    @sirwinston2659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Absolute legend. His two books - Models and How Not to GIVE a Fuck - have changed my life.

  • @koeltefontein
    @koeltefontein ปีที่แล้ว +5

    If you have to fight to get it, you will have to fight to keep it.

    • @Prophezora
      @Prophezora 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That's a good point.

  • @cefandrius
    @cefandrius 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    3 takeaways:
    1. Happiness = reality - expectations
    2.
    3.

  • @manubecker
    @manubecker ปีที่แล้ว

    When Manson started to talk about his experience at the only job he ever worked, I related to him big time. My second job was more or less like that. They just want to "see you busy," one monotonous task and a boss who is completely disconnected from the world of technology that the job itself could be done by a software instead of bunch of employees. I am glad I am not the only who found theirself in this situation! I thought I was crazy for not being docile about it, whereas other colleagues just nod and do.I feel validated. Manson you´re a great author.

  • @hiiiroobee
    @hiiiroobee ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I love how Steven is so relaxed here, it feels as if it’s just a conversation between friends, I love it. Can’t wait to read Mark’s new book ❤ thanks so much for this interview, I very much needed to hear everything in this video, resonated so much with my current situation. ☺️

  • @sneeds2108
    @sneeds2108 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Really enjoyed this one 🙂 Guest request: Chris Voss (former FBI hostage negotiator, and author of 'Never Split the Difference').

  • @jocko1532
    @jocko1532 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Two i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e men. Amazing interview. Thank you, to both of you, for leaving the world better than you found it 🙏🏼🙏🏼.

  • @LloydBrinker
    @LloydBrinker ปีที่แล้ว

    I just subscribed! I love Mark's books! Great content and I'm looking forward to digging through the archive!

  • @ssmm1394
    @ssmm1394 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    One of the best conversations I've ever heard power to both of you x

  • @Koxocw
    @Koxocw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    17 thousand views and only 19k subs there is no doubt this channel will blow up organically but fuck me a lot of people are really missing out on 1st hand lessons/information from this channel

  • @Samuelburgessofficial
    @Samuelburgessofficial 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    One of my favourite authors. His insights go against what is the norm. It’s what you need to hear not what you want.

  • @notaclue822
    @notaclue822 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've obviously been missing out not knowing about this guy. I'm looking forward to reading his book. He's so thoughtful and has a lot to say that's of interest.

  • @ColtonLoberg
    @ColtonLoberg ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Really grateful for this interview ♥️ thank you.

  • @archanaharanahalli
    @archanaharanahalli ปีที่แล้ว +4

    L O V E. I also grew up in the most traditional of households and am a black sheep most definitely. So happy to hear Mark on your podcast! Keep on keeping on Steven.

  • @sheriosullivan5914
    @sheriosullivan5914 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Steven: you should interview Louis Tomlinson! He's faced a lot of challenges and come out stronger than ever. He is the CEO of his own media company, his 2nd album was a #1 hit in the UK, and songs from it have over 20 million downloads on Spotify. Louis is extremely honest, forthright, and isn't afraid to speak his mind. He'd be a great guest!

  • @amiraboodi2075
    @amiraboodi2075 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much. I enjoyed every bit of it. Mark Manson is a good speaker for creating better life.
    🤓

  • @adimeter
    @adimeter ปีที่แล้ว +12

    The one thing my mom got right was education and reading. She read to me until I was able to take over for myself. Her mantra was, "It's the dummy that won't pick up a dictionary". The one thing my dad got right some days was his sense of humor and playfulness.