I had this happen when my mom was sick and then died. My brothers were a nightmare through the whole thing. After she died my brothers were all "we love you, just want to know how it's going, etc." The minute I finished with the probate and money distribution I haven't heard a word from them. It's been 10 years!
Oh Rosemary(I have always loved this name❤)…I am SO SO VERY VERY deeply sorry for the pain your brothers’ actions caused you. May you find comfort in the knowledge that you were there for your Mom, & then did the right thing by your brothers. You are NOT responsible for their actions..past, present or future. I know what it feels like to be ignored by family members. I still send holiday cards, etc to keep some type of loving hand extended. Anyhow, I pray that God blesses you a zillion times over anything you can dream or imagine. 🙏🙏🙏
talk to me or you dont get a will, yea thats acceptably what the parent did, the parent ruined the relation of the siblings. the sister even wanted reconcile before the money ramsey got that wrong. Yea and after the death they had a opportune moment to reconcile due to that situation, but the will cutting ruined that. Hearing shes not in the will made her not want to talk to the caller. It is indeed not about the money, she said so you agree with mother, that clearly shows it wasnt about the money.. ramsey never takes the perspective from both sides always favoring the caller
“Money isn’t the problem. Money reveals the problem.” True! It’s crazy how family who has zero concern about an elderly relative think they’re entitled to money after the relative is gone. 🤷♀️
I was left out of my Dads will but never contested it because it was never have been about the money for me. I’m saddened by losing my family much more than any inheritance. My Dad would always hold it over our heads to agree with him on all levels or we would be cut out of his will. My mom would never have done this as we were super close but she died first and I was never close to my Dad. I’m a good person with no regrets. I’m a hard worker and earn my own money and are loyal to my own children, the family I created. I send my former family love wherever they are. It doesn’t pay to hold resentment so I live each day to the fullest and I’m grateful for each day.
You just described the flip side to the "cut out of the will" action. The caller in this episode described a sibling who, by her actions, became estranged from her parents and was subsequently cut out of the will. In your case, the parent uses the threat of loss of inheritance to demand compliance / obedience from their heirs. I'm glad you have made peace with your situation.
There is probably more to circumstances like this one. Narcissists often leave the scapegoat out of the will. My mother left me out because ( after a 62 year abusive relationship- I was involved with her most as my 2 siblings moved away) I stopped contact but wished her well. I was stunned and hurt that my 2 siblings had no problem with swooping in and gathering up all the money,and memorable items. Their lack of any concern for my feelings or my children’s hurts more than the $. They both know that she has been mentally ill for decades, and it grew worse in her late 80,s
This is what the mother wanted to do with HER money. One of our daughters has severed her relationship with us, conveniently not long after we put her through college. I am about to take the same action.
And I have done the same with my daughter....for similar reasons. She had just earned her master's which we helped pay for. Oh well....hope it was worth it because she is losing a substantial inheritance.
People talk too much. There is no way her sister should know about your inheritance $$$ other than if YOU told her. Don't discuss your finances with broke people.
As the next of kin to her deceased mother, the sister would be in a position to dig around and find out what happened to her mother's estate. She may have even seen the will.
@@linuxsurfer2002it isn't like the movies. You will be contacted if you're in the will, by someone representing the estate, be it the executor or a lawyer, and then wait for the legal process and get a check or whatever was left in the mail. Families don't gather around for a reading by a lawyer unless that is part of the will that it be done that way, and that it is usually mandated to be done by a lawyer representing the estate
When I confronted my dad about his sinful behaviors, I knew he was going to cut me off and I know I won't get a penny of inheritance. But I'm ok with that. When I stood up to my dad and spoke the truth to him, I knew that there would be costs. I don't need a penny if his money, and I sure wont pester any of my siblings for it after he is gone.
I'm so glad that while me and my siblings are all very different, we love our parents and each other with all that we have in us. This woman's story just breaks my heart.
I knew a PASTOR one time who tried to guilt someone into giving part of THEIR inheritance, but the person getting the inheritance NEEDED it WORSE than that pastor did When the person had a need, the pastor didn't care and didn't want to hear the person's side of the story Needless to say when that person's inheritance came, that pastor DIDN'T get a DIME The person who got the inheritance took care of their own needs with that money
I have four children and helped them financially all of them at different levels each time I told them they very well could be spending their inheritance and they should pay it back. Well I am retired now and going to rewrite my will and from the looks of things my grandchildren are the ones in my will I skipped my children because of unpaid debts.
I made it possible for my sister to receive 480K usd, helped her move across the country, and took care of her dogs, all for her to stab me in the back. I realized that the relationship you had with a sibling in childhood isn't the same when you become adults
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully your sis will think about having an attitude change. I feel sorry for her as it sounds like some bitterness and false pride may be effecting her reasoning. Be strong, be at peace, and just forgive her. Keep a humble heart over helping her by providing for her needs. Have no exceptations from others. You did what was right - keep doing what is right, and that is to give and to do for others. This is our joy - regardless of their thanks or lack of it.
This is so true, my siblings who I grew up with , well they all just like me or want to talk to me when they need money or something from me. It hurts but I’ve stopped trying to fix relationships that clearly are broken.
AND I found out the same thing. My sister would come spend weeks in the summer with me all the while manipulating our mother and her inheritance. AND she is a "CHRISTIAN". LOL
Makes me thankful I get along with all my siblings! That said, my older sis didn't get along with my dad for the longest time (bc my dad doesn't understand boundaries). And he always threatened to cut her out of the will, but that didn't matter to her. Thankfully things have worked out & they reconciled.
My sister was always asking for money from my mother and she got it. My mother now is in a nursing home with dementia. She doesn’t have enough money to pay her bills and I and my mother’s brother and sister are making up the shortfall. My sister doesn’t even call her. There will be no inheritance because she has nothing.
Theres a side to every story. My parents gave my sister almost 100 grand and even asked me to give her some of my money. They never helped me in any way and pretty much wrote me off after they divorced. Bith were convinced my sister would become "famous" so fueled her lifestyle in NYC. Eventually I had to cut my family to protect myself. Gosh, I learned so much from that experience. I may get written out of any will though and obviously its something I have to swallow. However, after some thought I realized I won't have to take care of them in their old age - plus, I have my own money now. Family and money can be a dangerous thing. I figured it would be better to distance myself simply to protect my own new family. Everyone wants a slice of the pie but very few are willing to help with the ingredients!
@@sizweshongwe331 Thank you for that, it did a number on my mental health but I learned a lot. I don't talk to either of my parents now sadly because it's in my best interests.
It’s sad how the “money is the root of all evil” concept can sometimes apply in family will situations. It truly shows how unclose family members are when money is involved. It would be much better not to have wills or any money or property left to family after death but rather to go to a specified charity. This way no disputes among family members and parents wouldn’t hold any control over their children with threats to cut them out of the will if they do not do as they say.
Resentment and envy all come out when it comes to siblings or people in general they show their true colors money is a big trigger. Stay away from hateful people value your peace and take care of yours .
This is why Islam has clear inheritance laws. The deceased doesn’t get to decide who inherits what. God does. The parents get a certain percentage, the spouse gets a certain percentage, male children get a certain percentage, female children get a certain percentage. If there are no children then the siblings get a certain percentage
@@andielliott7721 each male child receives double the female child. Spouse(s) receive 1/8 of the inheritance. Each parent inherits 1/6. However if the female children do not have husbands their brothers are financially obligated to take care of them. Also, if the woman is married she doesn’t need to contribute to household expenses at all
Narcissists leave their scapegoat children out of their will. Representing to your child (as my mom did to me) that they are "dead to me" is a cruelty that narcissists enjoy as well. The non-scapegoat children then play victim and exploit the scenario by adding, modifying, and omitting details.
As with all of these calls, we don't get the full picture... is this a younger sister who was never in the Will to begin with or was she written out at some point and was that point before or after the mom's dementia.
@@peaceful525So manipulative narcs ruin families from the grave is condoned? Wrong, Dave labled the wronged left out sister a prostitute? The flying monkey daughter who now owns the money could have righted a wrong done to them both from narc mom, and eased her own guilt to boot, People are sick puppies for sure. Any mom that only rewards the bootlicker kids is mentally unstable for sure. Expecting to choose your kids spouses is way boundry crossing sick.
This is why I told me father not to ever talk to me about what he is leaving his family. I told him it’s your money, I just want him to be around as long as possible
My dad bought my drug addict sister a house because she told him my mother had shortchanged her in her will. Totally untrue. He asked me if I was okay with him doing it, and I told him it was his money to spend as he pleased. Eventually, he left everything to me, because my sister rewarded him for every good deed with abuse, slander, threats, false police reports, and more demands. She will never receive a penny from me, and I do not accept any type of communication from her. All that I have goes to my wife.
Similar situation, we each got an even share but sister still mad. She filed for her 3rd bankruptcy as the money was being dispersed, guess she wanted me to hold her share so she got bankruptcy relief and the inheritance. I realized that there never was much of a relationship and the best thing I could do was let the sister call to reconcile or not. She hasn't but I feel at peace.
On the basis of what we heard (and probably not everything), I am not sure I agree. Sometimes parents try to hold their children hostage to their beliefs. We don’t have enough information about why the mother and daughter(sister) were estranged. It is possible that the caller was able to tolerate the mother longer or accept some sort of controlling behavior, in different ways than her sister.
I'm not sure Dave is right on this one. We don't know the whole story. It sounds like the mom was a manipulator who wanted to control her daughter's lives. The caller said the mom was strong willed and didn't like who the sister married. She also said the sister did try to repair the relationship with the mom, but the mom wasn't budging. Maybe the sister just wouldn't cave to pressure and left because she wanted to be an adult who made her own decisions. If she was a bad daughter who lied, stole and was disrespectful that's another story.
I thought the same thing! Dave didn't have enough information to conclude this! A narcissistic parent will often abuse one child and spoil the other one! On the other hand, if the sister is an addict, you shouldn't give her money. Regardless, we needed more info!
DR is open about being insanely controlling via his money/inheritance to his beneficiaries, and almost equally controlling of his employees lives. He didn't overlook anything, he fully endorses it. It's his right, but I don't blame anyone who cuts off toxic crap like that. You wouldn't catch me working for him.
The caller didn’t state the mother didn’t like who the sister married. The caller said there was an issue that involved the sister’s significant other. We don’t know if that means drugs, crime, race, orientation, disrespect, fraud, aboose, etc.
The exception is for disabled offspring who are being supported by the government. You're not allowed to disinherit them (though if you can find a way of avoiding probate, you may get away with it anyway). On the other hand, people are entitled to an upbringing that gets them off to a good start in life. Not everyone gets that, and sometimes it gets messy.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistyes, of course. It may make the parent a sh*tty person but at the end of the day, it’s still their money. Did the kid spend hours upon hours working hard to earn that money? No. The reason doesn’t matter. It’s their money, not the kid’s. They can spend it how they wish…yes, even in death. This constant sense of entitlement blows me away.
As executor of a will, follow the will. Any animosity that comes from following the will is between the deceased and the living. If the living create an issue, cut ties and walk away. Yes! It sucks, but then so do some relatives!! Sorry for the caller, but she didn't create these issues.
And…..As the sole recipient of the money…she can do WHATEVER she wants with it…INCLUDING giving half to her sister…which would be sowing seeds of love instead of continuing the fight of the deceased mom. I think the question to answer is…what is valued MORE? The money…or (possibility of) a relationship with her sister.
@@kbanghart the caller never intimated that her sister was always asking for money, or was a narcissist. She DID however state that her mother was willful and refused to consider making amends. Their father is dead and gone, and I have to wonder if he would be okay with all the resources going to a single daughter. Just because they had disagreements doesn’t necessarily mean she should be disinherited.
I am surprised (and pleased) he said this. I thought he was going to compromise, as I am sure I remember him doing with a similar call. The sister is out of order asking for money that her mother didn’t want her to have. She should have thought of that when her mother was alive.
Yes in the end it can be called "her will" but what if there is manipulation leading up to the writing of the will? Im not saying in this case, but it must happen.
I can’t imagine the mindset behind thinking anyone owes me $ for sharing DNA or a last name. No one owes you anything in this world, including their $.
My sister is the toxic kind that blames everyone else for her problems. I don’t let her get away with lies so she calls me abusive. She’s been estranged for years at this point, and it took a lot for me to let it go, especially wen my daughter was born
Dave was quick to make assumptions on this one… he didn’t ask the most important question though. Does the caller want to give money to her sister?? Forget the will, the money is now the callers and she can do with it what she wants. It’s her right to keep it or give it away.
My fear is inheritance splitting my family, I choose to believe that my sisters would never forsake our bonds for money and materialistic "things" but I have read and watched so mamy stories of people who thought their siblings wouldn't betray them just for them to become monsters when it came to inheritance.
Follow the will. It was your parent(s) money and they chose how they wanted that money distributed. Follow the will, end of story. If you want to leave something for a sibling, include it in your will.
Or give it to her now.Her choice. Saying I would give it to her but mom wanted me to have it is just a way to rationalize that she wants to keep the money which is her legal right. She financially benefited from a rift between her sister and mom.Plain and simple.Just own it instead of trying to get moral justification for keeping it.
@@Austenfan177 from a tax standpoint you can't just do whatever you want, because the gifts your beneficiary gives to others are not inheritance and they are taxed differently.
@@Austenfan177 I've got a coworker whose friend had told him he could have his luxury car when he died but he never put it in the Will. When it was offered to him and he realized how much the gift taxes would be he politely refused it.
Dave tends to jump to conclusions and insert his opinions before hearing the whole story... .. there is more to this and especially when the dementia was mentioned.. there is definitely more to this story
So sad for your mom & her sister…and for you. Perhaps one day they will reconcile. In the call, the mom’s spitefulness is the root of this problem. What she did in her will is vindictive. Her message in death was…’I STILL don’t accept you, and I certainly don’t love you more than my money.’ IMO. It is NEVER honorable for the living to carry on the dead person’s fight.
Who was named the executor? This is why a lawyer will be mine. My Father was my Aunt's executor. Her deceased husband left a life estate ( she got the Income from the investments for life) Upon her death, his nieces and nephews received it per the will. They made it difficult for my Father to transfer their money to them. He had no control over the amounts. Much sqabbling over nothing.
If you share (I am not encouraging it!), then you do it carefully. You don't give money. You give something else so they don't be irresponsible or use it as sustenance or legal grounds to fight you.
The way people behave over inheritances is weird to me. My dad threatened to cut me out of his will before he died. I told him that it was his money, and I'd be grateful for whatever I received, but that it was his to dispose of as he saw fit, and wasn't mine to demand. I meant it. I was very upfront with my sister that if he left her everything that I wouldn't hold it against her. He chose not to cut me out, but did choose to limit me to receiving nothing until ~20 years after his death, whereas my younger sister received hers immediately. I've never complained, and never tried to guilt my sister over it. I'll be grateful when I receive something, if I receive something. And if it's all gone by the chosen date, I can't lose something I never had.
As a parent, these aren’t easy decisions. My husband is adamant we don’t leave money to the children who are irresponsible and only leave it to those who it will help and will honor the gift. I am not so sure what I want to do. It is frustrating to know you saved to leave something to your children and within months it will all be gone with nothing to show for it. It is our money, no one is entitled to it. It doesn’t equate to love. We have these conversations now but the irresponsible children still don’t plan for the future or a rainy day. We stopped helping but now my MIL does and then she can’t pay her bills and we help her so essentially we still help
Idk if I agree with this. The way she said complications with partner might mean that her sister is lesbian and her mom cut her out for that. Not a big fan the way Dave hopped 0n the moms side without knowing anything.
I was offered a large piece of land from an uncle who seen how i was treated by another uncle. I told him if i could split it with my brother i would. He agreed, it worked out that i received the section that was higher than any of the land looking at the mountains. I even look down on my uncle who wouldn't honor my grandfather's wishes. I realize that if we just donthe right thing it usually works out, that uncle talks to me now and im ok with that. I don't need an apology, just glad i can see him coming 🤣jk
Misery loves company and your sister is playing on your broken heart. Don't allow her to guilt trip you into anything. She got into debt so let her bail herself out. Being an enabler will NEVER fix anything- it only makes the person gets worse.
Bad advise. A few friends, the mother was always belittling them. All thru life. I witnessed many. As adults, at my house for dinner, the mother told her she qas fat, her hair style was ugly. I made the mother leave, as children were their. Yes, mother passed and left inheritance to son. He gave half to sister as he saw the abuse. At the mothers funeral, her brother said he was glad she passed as she bullied his sister to tears her whole life. Two sides to a story dudes.
Is the sister's partner a woman or a different race/religion? The caller said her mother had a problem with the sister's partner "lifestyle" so there's a lot info missing. I don't trust the caller playing peacemaker. 🤔🤷🏾♀️
I disagree. If it were me, I would give my brother half the inheritance (there are only two of us). That’s the way it should be. No favorites, no matter what!
Mothers aren’t always the good, nurturing mom either. I can see my mother being a “mommy dearest “ to me too. Don’t always take the sister and mom’s side!
It depends on the circumstances, like if the daughter was a drug addict, the money would harm her. But if I had a sibling that was kept off the will for no real reason other than they didn't see eye to eye I'd split the inheritance money.
Parents don't "owe" their kids any inheritance whatsoever. Why would a parent leave behind something to a kid that they dont have a good relationship with who would likely be ungrateful anyway? If people build their own wealth and make wise decisions in life they won't be so pressed and dependent on others leaving them behind money when they die
Financial accounts and insurance policies have stated beneficiaries and are not part of the estate probate process. Some estate planners might include these amounts in the overall planning process in an attempt to "equal things out" (for example, one sibling gets the family farm, the other sibling might receive a larger share of the money). The time to talk about inheritance is before the death of the person. Unfortunately, very often, the first time anyone thinks about this stuff is during the ensuing days after a loved one has passed. Not the best time to be making these types of decisions.
My mom refuses to detail these out. She gets mad at me when I ask her how am I supposed to know who gets what if there’s no will. She’s made it clear to me I get nothing
Easy to resolve. Share and share alike. Do the right thing. Some people leave this world and do not leave a legacy of love. Love your sister and create a legacy of love yourself. It's too late to do the blame game.
There would be different tax implications since that would be a gift instead of an inheritance, which would be a good topic for Dave to discuss instead of the judgmental "you're sister is crazy" assumption he made.
There are not enough facts here. My mom died last February and left everything to my sister. My dad died when I was 16 and my mom favored my sister all our lives. Mom and I were never close because she was not a kind or loving person. I started therapy 20 years ago so I could get help and move on. 15 years ago I reconnected with my mother because she was my mom and deserved to be treated with dignity. It was difficult for me because she was still cold and unpredictable. Yesterday I asked my sister to be fair and she flat out said no, not even open to talking about it.
I'm betting the phrase "asking you to be fair" wasn't the best choice of words on your part. It pretty much implies that you feel she isn't being fair, and you are asking her to not honor your Mom's wishes.
I always think a will should be split evenly as possible between siblings to not leave behind a legacy of family troubles as that’s all it causes, but if someone has not even attempted to be in good relationships with the family then I don’t know how anyone would feel entitled to it.
I think donating the money to charity that the disinherited sister didn't get, would have been a better choice than giving all the money to the one sister.
It is the mother's money - she can do with it what she wants. There is no obligation to give anything to any child or sibling - the daughter who got the money was the mother's choice for whatever reason. Move on.
Idk if I agree with this. The way she said complications with partner might mean that her sister is lesbian and her mom cut her out for that. Not a big fan the way Dave hopped 0n the moms side without knowing anything.
Any parent can do anythimg with what they own - that's a fact, but love, compassion, and mercy must play the largest part in all decissions when it comes to our children. Obligation is of the mind, and not of the heart. This is why so many children are suffering in our country. Too many a parent does out of cold obligation - the children feel this their entire live. Healthier and happier children that feel true love, compassion, and concern their entire life are living a more abundant, healthier, and productive lifestyle. Leaving a child out of a will is cruel and heartless, and is probably enigmatic of how they have treated that dear child throughout all or periods of their life.
A court of law would agree with you, but life isn't all about the letter of the law. If there's anything unusual about how the mother chose to dispose of her assets, then questions should be asked, because family members should care about one another and should care to have some knowledge about affairs within the family. A scenario where everyone had "studied the law" beforehand and accepted the provisions of mom's will in a completely mechanical fashion with no questions asked, would be a huge travesty.
@@natnielsen8472 my mom has made it clear to me I will be left nothing. It’s a reflection of the many years how I was treated by her. I’m the black sheep and not the favorite. I think it’s a way to continue to make a wedge in the afterlife between my brother and I. I love my brother a lot and I’d rather have our relationship than any money
You never know Dave?? My mama is a head case with my sister and oldest daughter. They blackballed me many times! I cut them off years ago! It could be the caller… just sayin….
Please think long and hard about doing something like this in a will. Having your dying wishes cause anger and resentment in your wake seems like an awful thing to leave behind.
I have a mom who is going full steam ahead because she is a narcissistic who is the cause of all the toxicity. She w@nts to continue that in the afterlife
Honestly, I don't think it matters who the cause of the relationship breakdown was, I wouldn't be expecting an inheritance from someone I have no relationship with.
I agree but I also think that should come into play when making judgments about her and Dave calling her a head case or saying she wants prostitution. Maybe her mom sucked or was abusive and she dealt with it for many years and now wants part of the money. Obviously, legally this doesn’t give her the right but that doesn’t make her morally wrong.
The hosts of this show have very few facts, and are steamrolling their judgements towards the caller in a very bombastic way. I don’t agree with their harmful advice and spurious character assassination. The one daughter tried to make amends with her mom. This is difficult to do when a person has dementia. It is wrong that she inherited nothing. The sister should step in and do the right thing.
Is there anything about not making assumptions in your Bible? If your parents say, "you can't love that person" would it be disrespecting them if you did? If your parents said "our daughter's job is to be at home raising he babies" and you decide not have children and instead have a career, would that be disrespecting your parents?
@@brianparrett114 yes and yes. This is because it is God's Law. I am ex-atheist. I do not need your anecdotes, the reason why the West us falling to pieces are people like yourself. Without morality or God, there is nothing worth saving in what ever world you want to make
One day I'm gonna have to share this house i basicly purchase my self for my parents,i have 3 brothers because i put my parents name in the property documents wanted to be a nice son,only 1 of my brothers deserve a part,another one have never provide a single dollar for anything..!
Sounds like mom was trying to control the daughter’s life since she didn’t like the daughter’s significant other. The daughter wouldn’t kowtow to mom so mom hurt her the only way she could-writing her OUT of the Will. Mom sounds vindictive. If it was me, I’d share the inheritance with my sister.
That does sound like what happened, maybe the sister is a lesbian and the mom wouldn't tolerate that. If she were to give her sister a gift that would be taxed differently than the inheritance.
Or mom may know that the significant other will take or swindle the money from her daughter and would rather not allow room for that to happen by simply not giving it to her
@@AVG336 If the mom felt that way, she could have left it all to the other daughter with instructions to pay out a certain amount each month or year to her sister.
Look Holly we don't know her sister. We're just guessing from what the lady said that doesn't sound like her sister is anyone Worthy or capable of repairing relationship with. Then again we don't know only this woman really knows what her sister is about we're just taking a shot in the dark. If your sister isn't really an upright honest responsible person she's doing wrong by forking over money for her to go on for own sociopathic way. The woman's getting some good advice and there's nothing wrong with your thinking if you're dealing with somebody who's responsible and normal
@@lucasgaeta3403 Of course it's her decision. No one disputes that. But she is literally calling to ask WHAT the best decision would be. And the specifics of the family situation make a big difference in that!
Look assets are no one's but the owners! They don't owe anybody! They can do what they want with what they own. This situation sounds a lot like my brother, relational blackmail, threats and relational withdrawal. Money is not the problem....it is revealing the problem... Yup, that is exactly my conclusion.
The one thing I take issue with on this one is how would their dad feel if he knew one of his daughters was excluded. Also, Alzheimer's can strain relationships and it starts long before an official diagnosis. I would think that if the mom were of sound mind she would never have excluded her daughter, even if they weren't always close.
My mom is a narcissist. We had a rough childhood with her ups and downs. She is now slipping. We couldn’t figure out for years what was wrong, but now since our grandma died of Alzheimer’s we see mom following the same pattern. My sister is controlling and manipulative, I’m pretty sure Dave could have jumped to conclusions about the caller as well. Money and wills bring out the wolves!
my older brother is upset that I reported to Probate Attorney, the cash money that we found in my deceased brothers house. My brother just wanted to pocket the money. I told him I wasn't going to lie about it. Now he and his wife have chosen to kick me to the curb. He told me that he "doesn't want to see my face again until the day he dies". Well okay, I'm still not going to lie. He made the choice to end our relationship.
Exactly. I would have requested not to be in the obituary, nor would I have attended the services. Then when people asked why not, I would spill the beans over the true nature of the relationship.
How do you two men know Mom didn't play favorites and cause problems between the girls? The caller can do whatever she wants, but Mom probably was no peach. "Children respect your parents. Parents do not anger your children." The sister being gossiped about by you guys, behind her back, is angry. Mom was no peach.
Where there's a will there's a relative.
The entitlement has arrived!
🤣😂 good one ,really had me laughing out loud
And a lawyer lol
Lol
Nailed it!!!
I had this happen when my mom was sick and then died. My brothers were a nightmare through the whole thing. After she died my brothers were all "we love you, just want to know how it's going, etc." The minute I finished with the probate and money distribution I haven't heard a word from them. It's been 10 years!
Oh Rosemary(I have always loved this name❤)…I am SO SO VERY VERY deeply sorry for the pain your brothers’ actions caused you. May you find comfort in the knowledge that you were there for your Mom, & then did the right thing by your brothers. You are NOT responsible for their actions..past, present or future. I know what it feels like to be ignored by family members. I still send holiday cards, etc to keep some type of loving hand extended. Anyhow, I pray that God blesses you a zillion times over anything you can dream or imagine. 🙏🙏🙏
Wow! I’m not surprised!
That sounds like my late husband’s family.
Consider yourself lucky
❤
Wow!
“When you have to buy a relationship, isn’t that called prostitution.” I was not prepared for that 😅😂
My question would be: which sister was prostituted ??😂
talk to me or you dont get a will, yea thats acceptably what the parent did, the parent ruined the relation of the siblings. the sister even wanted reconcile before the money ramsey got that wrong. Yea and after the death they had a opportune moment to reconcile due to that situation, but the will cutting ruined that. Hearing shes not in the will made her not want to talk to the caller. It is indeed not about the money, she said so you agree with mother, that clearly shows it wasnt about the money.. ramsey never takes the perspective from both sides always favoring the caller
Never, ever, put yourself in the middle in family disagreements. You will end up being called a villain by everyone.
“Money isn’t the problem. Money reveals the problem.” True!
It’s crazy how family who has zero concern about an elderly relative think they’re entitled to money after the relative is gone. 🤷♀️
I was left out of my Dads will but never contested it because it was never have been about the money for me. I’m saddened by losing my family much more than any inheritance. My Dad would always hold it over our heads to agree with him on all levels or we would be cut out of his will. My mom would never have done this as we were super close but she died first and I was never close to my Dad. I’m a good person with no regrets. I’m a hard worker and earn my own money and are loyal to my own children, the family I created. I send my former family love wherever they are. It doesn’t pay to hold resentment so I live each day to the fullest and I’m grateful for each day.
Some parents just want to use money as a wedge to pit their children against each other so that one feels more loved than the others.
I’m truly truly sorry for your pain. May God multiply His best blessings to you ❤
You are a beautiful woman! You understand what matters and you're still loving through it all even tho it hurts! Kuddos!
You just described the flip side to the "cut out of the will" action. The caller in this episode described a sibling who, by her actions, became estranged from her parents and was subsequently cut out of the will. In your case, the parent uses the threat of loss of inheritance to demand compliance / obedience from their heirs. I'm glad you have made peace with your situation.
@@lkj0822g If I remember correctly, the caller tells Dave that the sister tried to return and the mother refused her.
There is probably more to circumstances like this one. Narcissists often leave the scapegoat out of the will. My mother left me out because ( after a 62 year abusive relationship- I was involved with her most as my 2 siblings moved away) I stopped contact but wished her well.
I was stunned and hurt that my 2 siblings had no problem with swooping in and gathering up all the money,and memorable items.
Their lack of any concern for my feelings or my children’s hurts more than the $.
They both know that she has been mentally ill for decades, and it grew worse in her late 80,s
This is what the mother wanted to do with HER money. One of our daughters has severed her relationship with us, conveniently not long after we put her through college. I am about to take the same action.
I'm sorry. Give it time. Hopefully, she will mature and come to understand your sacrifices for her.
that's unfortunate, hope it all works out
And I have done the same with my daughter....for similar reasons. She had just earned her master's which we helped pay for. Oh well....hope it was worth it because she is losing a substantial inheritance.
I highly doubt the woman worked lol. It was obviously the dads money who had a relationship with his daughter....
AS YOU SHOULD
People talk too much. There is no way her sister should know about your inheritance $$$ other than if YOU told her. Don't discuss your finances with broke people.
Some things are obvious.
As the next of kin to her deceased mother, the sister would be in a position to dig around and find out what happened to her mother's estate. She may have even seen the will.
Wouldn't she know once the will was read and the estate went through probate?
I'm not sure you know what a will is.
@@linuxsurfer2002it isn't like the movies. You will be contacted if you're in the will, by someone representing the estate, be it the executor or a lawyer, and then wait for the legal process and get a check or whatever was left in the mail. Families don't gather around for a reading by a lawyer unless that is part of the will that it be done that way, and that it is usually mandated to be done by a lawyer representing the estate
When I confronted my dad about his sinful behaviors, I knew he was going to cut me off and I know I won't get a penny of inheritance. But I'm ok with that. When I stood up to my dad and spoke the truth to him, I knew that there would be costs. I don't need a penny if his money, and I sure wont pester any of my siblings for it after he is gone.
I'm so glad that while me and my siblings are all very different, we love our parents and each other with all that we have in us. This woman's story just breaks my heart.
Then you are blessed indeed.
Same here. More than that, after our dad divorced from my mom, she has nothing to give us. And we don't care.
I knew a PASTOR one time who tried to guilt someone into giving part of THEIR inheritance, but the person getting the inheritance NEEDED it WORSE than that pastor did
When the person had a need, the pastor didn't care and didn't want to hear the person's side of the story
Needless to say when that person's inheritance came, that pastor DIDN'T get a DIME
The person who got the inheritance took care of their own needs with that money
Family isn’t always blood line but family can be built through your life because sometimes we don’t like the people who we share the same blood
I have four children and helped them financially all of them at different levels each time I told them they very well could be spending their inheritance and they should pay it back. Well I am retired now and going to rewrite my will and from the looks of things my grandchildren are the ones in my will I skipped my children because of unpaid debts.
I made it possible for my sister to receive 480K usd, helped her move across the country, and took care of her dogs, all for her to stab me in the back. I realized that the relationship you had with a sibling in childhood isn't the same when you become adults
That's terrible! So sorry to hear that. You sound like a wonderful person. God bless!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully your sis will think about having an attitude change. I feel sorry for her as it sounds like some bitterness and false pride may be effecting her reasoning. Be strong, be at peace, and just forgive her. Keep a humble heart over helping her by providing for her needs. Have no exceptations from others. You did what was right - keep doing what is right, and that is to give and to do for others. This is our joy - regardless of their thanks or lack of it.
Exactly. People fails to realize that.
This is so true, my siblings who I grew up with , well they all just like me or want to talk to me when they need money or something from me.
It hurts but I’ve stopped trying to fix relationships that clearly are broken.
AND I found out the same thing. My sister would come spend weeks in the summer with me all the while manipulating our mother and her inheritance. AND she is a "CHRISTIAN". LOL
People leave the circle, always come back when money is involved.
Makes me thankful I get along with all my siblings! That said, my older sis didn't get along with my dad for the longest time (bc my dad doesn't understand boundaries). And he always threatened to cut her out of the will, but that didn't matter to her.
Thankfully things have worked out & they reconciled.
My sister was always asking for money from my mother and she got it. My mother now is in a nursing home with dementia. She doesn’t have enough money to pay her bills and I and my mother’s brother and sister are making up the shortfall. My sister doesn’t even call her. There will be no inheritance because she has nothing.
omg! stop telling my story! ;) we have exactly same scenario here.
What a painful thing to go through. Bless.
Unlike the lady in the real estate business with her ex the other day, this is a call where the other side of the story would be very telling.
Theres a side to every story. My parents gave my sister almost 100 grand and even asked me to give her some of my money. They never helped me in any way and pretty much wrote me off after they divorced. Bith were convinced my sister would become "famous" so fueled her lifestyle in NYC. Eventually I had to cut my family to protect myself. Gosh, I learned so much from that experience. I may get written out of any will though and obviously its something I have to swallow. However, after some thought I realized I won't have to take care of them in their old age - plus, I have my own money now. Family and money can be a dangerous thing. I figured it would be better to distance myself simply to protect my own new family. Everyone wants a slice of the pie but very few are willing to help with the ingredients!
It must've been hard going through that, your parents even forcing you to spend your money on their favorite.
@@sizweshongwe331 Thank you for that, it did a number on my mental health but I learned a lot. I don't talk to either of my parents now sadly because it's in my best interests.
It’s sad how the “money is the root of all evil” concept can sometimes apply in family will situations. It truly shows how unclose family members are when money is involved. It would be much better not to have wills or any money or property left to family after death but rather to go to a specified charity. This way no disputes among family members and parents wouldn’t hold any control over their children with threats to cut them out of the will if they do not do as they say.
@@kathleenphillips7145Love of money is the root of all evil. 😊
Resentment and envy all come out when it comes to siblings or people in general they show their true colors money is a big trigger. Stay away from hateful people value your peace and take care of yours .
This is why Islam has clear inheritance laws. The deceased doesn’t get to decide who inherits what. God does. The parents get a certain percentage, the spouse gets a certain percentage, male children get a certain percentage, female children get a certain percentage. If there are no children then the siblings get a certain percentage
@@overdose8329 Tell me, what does the male child receive and the female children.
@@andielliott7721 each male child receives double the female child. Spouse(s) receive 1/8 of the inheritance. Each parent inherits 1/6.
However if the female children do not have husbands their brothers are financially obligated to take care of them. Also, if the woman is married she doesn’t need to contribute to household expenses at all
6:00 🎯 If she gives her money, then the sister will raise another problem. The sister is gone.
I learned this too late.
Guilt is like a bag of bricks. All you have to do is put it down.
Yes!!!
Narcissists leave their scapegoat children out of their will. Representing to your child (as my mom did to me) that they are "dead to me" is a cruelty that narcissists enjoy as well. The non-scapegoat children then play victim and exploit the scenario by adding, modifying, and omitting details.
Exactly
Correct.
She left her out for a reason, honor that.
As with all of these calls, we don't get the full picture... is this a younger sister who was never in the Will to begin with or was she written out at some point and was that point before or after the mom's dementia.
Joe that is NOT ok. All siblings should always receive an equal share of everything. Anything else is not right.
@@costco_pizza I absolutely agree. It’s playing favorites even in the afterlife which causes the survivors continue pain
You are not entitled to money you didn’t earn. If your parents leave you out, move on. It wasn’t your money anyway.
@@peaceful525So manipulative narcs ruin families from the grave is condoned? Wrong, Dave labled the wronged left out sister a prostitute? The flying monkey daughter who now owns the money could have righted a wrong done to them both from narc mom, and eased her own guilt to boot, People are sick puppies for sure. Any mom that only rewards the bootlicker kids is mentally unstable for sure. Expecting to choose your kids spouses is way boundry crossing sick.
This is why I told me father not to ever talk to me about what he is leaving his family. I told him it’s your money, I just want him to be around as long as possible
My dad bought my drug addict sister a house because she told him my mother had shortchanged her in her will. Totally untrue. He asked me if I was okay with him doing it, and I told him it was his money to spend as he pleased. Eventually, he left everything to me, because my sister rewarded him for every good deed with abuse, slander, threats, false police reports, and more demands.
She will never receive a penny from me, and I do not accept any type of communication from her. All that I have goes to my wife.
Similar situation, we each got an even share but sister still mad. She filed for her 3rd bankruptcy as the money was being dispersed, guess she wanted me to hold her share so she got bankruptcy relief and the inheritance. I realized that there never was much of a relationship and the best thing I could do was let the sister call to reconcile or not. She hasn't but I feel at peace.
That’s a nice letter Dave. She should actually send it, which will clarify any misunderstandings between them.
Her sister doesn’t want a relationship. She just wants money.
On the basis of what we heard (and probably not everything), I am not sure I agree. Sometimes parents try to hold their children hostage to their beliefs. We don’t have enough information about why the mother and daughter(sister) were estranged. It is possible that the caller was able to tolerate the mother longer or accept some sort of controlling behavior, in different ways than her sister.
I'm not sure Dave is right on this one. We don't know the whole story. It sounds like the mom was a manipulator who wanted to control her daughter's lives. The caller said the mom was strong willed and didn't like who the sister married. She also said the sister did try to repair the relationship with the mom, but the mom wasn't budging. Maybe the sister just wouldn't cave to pressure and left because she wanted to be an adult who made her own decisions. If she was a bad daughter who lied, stole and was disrespectful that's another story.
I thought the same thing! Dave didn't have enough information to conclude this! A narcissistic parent will often abuse one child and spoil the other one! On the other hand, if the sister is an addict, you shouldn't give her money. Regardless, we needed more info!
This! Dave def jumped the gun
DR is open about being insanely controlling via his money/inheritance to his beneficiaries, and almost equally controlling of his employees lives. He didn't overlook anything, he fully endorses it. It's his right, but I don't blame anyone who cuts off toxic crap like that. You wouldn't catch me working for him.
The caller didn’t state the mother didn’t like who the sister married. The caller said there was an issue that involved the sister’s significant other. We don’t know if that means drugs, crime, race, orientation, disrespect, fraud, aboose, etc.
doesnt matter. moms $, moms decision. case closed.
Taking this at face value, the caller owes her sister nothing. If she chooses to help her sister, great. If not, oh well. 🤷🏾♀️
No one is entitled to someone else’s money. If your parent chooses not to leave you an inheritance, tough s--
The exception is for disabled offspring who are being supported by the government. You're not allowed to disinherit them (though if you can find a way of avoiding probate, you may get away with it anyway).
On the other hand, people are entitled to an upbringing that gets them off to a good start in life. Not everyone gets that, and sometimes it gets messy.
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist yes. As I said. You are not entitled to anyone’s money, even your parents’ money. And the law backs my statement up.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistyes, of course. It may make the parent a sh*tty person but at the end of the day, it’s still their money. Did the kid spend hours upon hours working hard to earn that money? No. The reason doesn’t matter. It’s their money, not the kid’s. They can spend it how they wish…yes, even in death. This constant sense of entitlement blows me away.
As executor of a will, follow the will. Any animosity that comes from following the will is between the deceased and the living. If the living create an issue, cut ties and walk away. Yes! It sucks, but then so do some relatives!! Sorry for the caller, but she didn't create these issues.
Who knows that she didn't help create the issues??
And…..As the sole recipient of the money…she can do WHATEVER she wants with it…INCLUDING giving half to her sister…which would be sowing seeds of love instead of continuing the fight of the deceased mom. I think the question to answer is…what is valued MORE? The money…or (possibility of) a relationship with her sister.
@@wellwoman5686 Thanks for the perspective.
@@wellwoman5686 true, unless the sister is a very bad narcissist, and then maybe she just keeps asking for more money.
@@kbanghart the caller never intimated that her sister was always asking for money, or was a narcissist. She DID however state that her mother was willful and refused to consider making amends. Their father is dead and gone, and I have to wonder if he would be okay with all the resources going to a single daughter. Just because they had disagreements doesn’t necessarily mean she should be disinherited.
I am surprised (and pleased) he said this. I thought he was going to compromise, as I am sure I remember him doing with a similar call. The sister is out of order asking for money that her mother didn’t want her to have. She should have thought of that when her mother was alive.
Yes in the end it can be called "her will" but what if there is manipulation leading up to the writing of the will? Im not saying in this case, but it must happen.
I can’t imagine the mindset behind thinking anyone owes me $ for sharing DNA or a last name. No one owes you anything in this world, including their $.
I hope i am left out of any wills don't want the BS... Made my own way in my life and don't need the BS from my brother.
My sister is the toxic kind that blames everyone else for her problems. I don’t let her get away with lies so she calls me abusive. She’s been estranged for years at this point, and it took a lot for me to let it go, especially wen my daughter was born
Why do you do the analysis if there are reliable Cross Staking platforms such as Cross Staking?
Nice!
Dave was quick to make assumptions on this one… he didn’t ask the most important question though. Does the caller want to give money to her sister?? Forget the will, the money is now the callers and she can do with it what she wants. It’s her right to keep it or give it away.
Does it ever help when someone tries to make peace between two family members? Seems like it always make things worse.
My fear is inheritance splitting my family, I choose to believe that my sisters would never forsake our bonds for money and materialistic "things" but I have read and watched so mamy stories of people who thought their siblings wouldn't betray them just for them to become monsters when it came to inheritance.
She would never guilt me into giving her money.
Follow the will. It was your parent(s) money and they chose how they wanted that money distributed. Follow the will, end of story. If you want to leave something for a sibling, include it in your will.
A parent with dementia could be manipulated into changing the will.
Or give it to her now.Her choice. Saying I would give it to her but mom wanted me to have it is just a way to rationalize that she wants to keep the money which is her legal right. She financially benefited from a rift between her sister and mom.Plain and simple.Just own it instead of trying to get moral justification for keeping it.
@@Austenfan177 from a tax standpoint you can't just do whatever you want, because the gifts your beneficiary gives to others are not inheritance and they are taxed differently.
@@Austenfan177 I've got a coworker whose friend had told him he could have his luxury car when he died but he never put it in the Will. When it was offered to him and he realized how much the gift taxes would be he politely refused it.
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
The will should reads as follows: if you are left out of the will, you are not entitled to know anything concerning who was in the will. Period.
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
Kids are not entitled to any inheritance. Stay off the guilt train.
I think they are unless they did something egregious
@@Prophezora Well it's not up to you to decide who receives inheritance unless it's you deciding who YOUR money goes to
Crazy how 💰 can ruin family's. My mother and aunt no longer have a relationship because of it. Sad
Dave tends to jump to conclusions and insert his opinions before hearing the whole story... .. there is more to this and especially when the dementia was mentioned.. there is definitely more to this story
So sad for your mom & her sister…and for you. Perhaps one day they will reconcile. In the call, the mom’s spitefulness is the root of this problem. What she did in her will is vindictive. Her message in death was…’I STILL don’t accept you, and I certainly don’t love you more than my money.’ IMO. It is NEVER honorable for the living to carry on the dead person’s fight.
The Judd's come to mind
Was already ruined
@@wellwoman5686 this is a great response thankyou.
Inheritance is a gift, not a right.
If I was in her shoes, I'd give my sister exactly half of the inheritance.
Yes, me too
Who was named the executor? This is why a lawyer will be mine. My Father was my Aunt's executor. Her deceased husband left a life estate ( she got the Income from the investments for life) Upon her death, his nieces and nephews received it per the will. They made it difficult for my Father to transfer their money to them. He had no control over the amounts. Much sqabbling over nothing.
If you share (I am not encouraging it!), then you do it carefully. You don't give money. You give something else so they don't be irresponsible or use it as sustenance or legal grounds to fight you.
The way people behave over inheritances is weird to me. My dad threatened to cut me out of his will before he died. I told him that it was his money, and I'd be grateful for whatever I received, but that it was his to dispose of as he saw fit, and wasn't mine to demand. I meant it. I was very upfront with my sister that if he left her everything that I wouldn't hold it against her.
He chose not to cut me out, but did choose to limit me to receiving nothing until ~20 years after his death, whereas my younger sister received hers immediately. I've never complained, and never tried to guilt my sister over it. I'll be grateful when I receive something, if I receive something. And if it's all gone by the chosen date, I can't lose something I never had.
Well aren't you a Saint! It's such a wonderful thing that you made sure we were all aware...we definitely needed that!😊
As a parent, these aren’t easy decisions. My husband is adamant we don’t leave money to the children who are irresponsible and only leave it to those who it will help and will honor the gift. I am not so sure what I want to do. It is frustrating to know you saved to leave something to your children and within months it will all be gone with nothing to show for it. It is our money, no one is entitled to it. It doesn’t equate to love. We have these conversations now but the irresponsible children still don’t plan for the future or a rainy day. We stopped helping but now my MIL does and then she can’t pay her bills and we help her so essentially we still help
Don't leave money to the irresponsible. And stop helping the MIL if she is wasting it helping the children
Idk if I agree with this. The way she said complications with partner might mean that her sister is lesbian and her mom cut her out for that. Not a big fan the way Dave hopped 0n the moms side without knowing anything.
You could just put in your will that the money is to be destroyed or buried with you.
@@Gaingar could be any number of such things, because some parents think they need to control who their child loves and spends their life with.
This is the reason that Trusts can be set up - check it out:-)
I was offered a large piece of land from an uncle who seen how i was treated by another uncle. I told him if i could split it with my brother i would. He agreed, it worked out that i received the section that was higher than any of the land looking at the mountains. I even look down on my uncle who wouldn't honor my grandfather's wishes. I realize that if we just donthe right thing it usually works out, that uncle talks to me now and im ok with that. I don't need an apology, just glad i can see him coming 🤣jk
Misery loves company and your sister is playing on your broken heart. Don't allow her to guilt trip you into anything. She got into debt so let her bail herself out. Being an enabler will NEVER fix anything- it only makes the person gets worse.
Geez, I'm just trying to get my dad to do a will and estate planning. I'm not looking forward to the time consuming, costly probate. 😢
Bad advise. A few friends, the mother was always belittling them. All thru life. I witnessed many. As adults, at my house for dinner, the mother told her she qas fat, her hair style was ugly. I made the mother leave, as children were their. Yes, mother passed and left inheritance to son. He gave half to sister as he saw the abuse. At the mothers funeral, her brother said he was glad she passed as she bullied his sister to tears her whole life. Two sides to a story dudes.
These three in the call must of been the favorites in the eyes of their parents
Is the sister's partner a woman or a different race/religion? The caller said her mother had a problem with the sister's partner "lifestyle" so there's a lot info missing. I don't trust the caller playing peacemaker. 🤔🤷🏾♀️
I don't trust her either
Some parents believe they get to decide who their children will marry.
I disagree. If it were me, I would give my brother half the inheritance (there are only two of us). That’s the way it should be. No favorites, no matter what!
Mothers aren’t always the good, nurturing mom either. I can see my mother being a “mommy dearest “ to me too. Don’t always take the sister and mom’s side!
Highly likely mom was a narcissist and caller is the golden child 🙄
It depends on the circumstances, like if the daughter was a drug addict, the money would harm her. But if I had a sibling that was kept off the will for no real reason other than they didn't see eye to eye I'd split the inheritance money.
Money brings out the worst in people.
Parents don't "owe" their kids any inheritance whatsoever. Why would a parent leave behind something to a kid that they dont have a good relationship with who would likely be ungrateful anyway? If people build their own wealth and make wise decisions in life they won't be so pressed and dependent on others leaving them behind money when they die
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
Financial accounts and insurance policies have stated beneficiaries and are not part of the estate probate process. Some estate planners might include these amounts in the overall planning process in an attempt to "equal things out" (for example, one sibling gets the family farm, the other sibling might receive a larger share of the money).
The time to talk about inheritance is before the death of the person. Unfortunately, very often, the first time anyone thinks about this stuff is during the ensuing days after a loved one has passed. Not the best time to be making these types of decisions.
My mom refuses to detail these out. She gets mad at me when I ask her how am I supposed to know who gets what if there’s no will. She’s made it clear to me I get nothing
families are rough.
I have a sis who is crazy
The whole family ignores her
I try to keep talking to her
But it’s sad
Mine is lazy. She was enabled all of her life.
This reads like a poem
Easy to resolve. Share and share alike. Do the right thing. Some people leave this world and do not leave a legacy of love. Love your sister and create a legacy of love yourself. It's too late to do the blame game.
Hi George. Haven't seen a clip with you in awhile. Mom's choice. Its the caller's money now. She is free to give some to her sister if she wants.
Why is George not allowed to take a vacation?
There would be different tax implications since that would be a gift instead of an inheritance, which would be a good topic for Dave to discuss instead of the judgmental "you're sister is crazy" assumption he made.
@@brianparrett114 you make a great point. What an awful place to be…stuck between the IRS & a vindictive will.
If you give your sister money shes gone. I'm sorry. She's not there now. She just wants money. I'm sooo sorry
I agree, she's finding out what her Mom already knew, I wish her good luck. 👍
There are not enough facts here. My mom died last February and left everything to my sister. My dad died when I was 16 and my mom favored my sister all our lives. Mom and I were never close because she was not a kind or loving person. I started therapy 20 years ago so I could get help and move on. 15 years ago I reconnected with my mother because she was my mom and deserved to be treated with dignity. It was difficult for me because she was still cold and unpredictable. Yesterday I asked my sister to be fair and she flat out said no, not even open to talking about it.
Yeah…not sure why Dave was so quick to jump to conclusions here.
Dave always sides with the older parent knowing nothing of the situation. @@lucasharnish5537
I'm betting the phrase "asking you to be fair" wasn't the best choice of words on your part. It pretty much implies that you feel she isn't being fair, and you are asking her to not honor your Mom's wishes.
@@bethford6884
Well the mothers wishes is petty, and pointless.
If one of my parents was that toxic, I would not like to touch anything from them including their money.
I always think a will should be split evenly as possible between siblings to not leave behind a legacy of family troubles as that’s all it causes, but if someone has not even attempted to be in good relationships with the family then I don’t know how anyone would feel entitled to it.
I think donating the money to charity that the disinherited sister didn't get, would have been a better choice than giving all the money to the one sister.
It is the mother's money - she can do with it what she wants. There is no obligation to give anything to any child or sibling - the daughter who got the money was the mother's choice for whatever reason. Move on.
Idk if I agree with this. The way she said complications with partner might mean that her sister is lesbian and her mom cut her out for that. Not a big fan the way Dave hopped 0n the moms side without knowing anything.
Any parent can do anythimg with what they own - that's a fact, but love, compassion, and mercy must play the largest part in all decissions when it comes to our children.
Obligation is of the mind, and not of the heart. This is why so many children are suffering in our country. Too many a parent does out of cold obligation - the children feel this their entire live. Healthier and happier children that feel true love, compassion, and concern their entire life are living a more abundant, healthier, and productive lifestyle.
Leaving a child out of a will is cruel and heartless, and is probably enigmatic of how they have treated that dear child throughout all or periods of their life.
@@natnielsen8472 Amen. and Amen.
A court of law would agree with you, but life isn't all about the letter of the law. If there's anything unusual about how the mother chose to dispose of her assets, then questions should be asked, because family members should care about one another and should care to have some knowledge about affairs within the family. A scenario where everyone had "studied the law" beforehand and accepted the provisions of mom's will in a completely mechanical fashion with no questions asked, would be a huge travesty.
@@natnielsen8472 my mom has made it clear to me I will be left nothing. It’s a reflection of the many years how I was treated by her. I’m the black sheep and not the favorite. I think it’s a way to continue to make a wedge in the afterlife between my brother and I. I love my brother a lot and I’d rather have our relationship than any money
I love my siblings and will share if they are left out. I just couldn't live with myself. I'm too close to my siblings.
And that is exactly what I would do too....
My mom told me I’m not getting anything. But if I was I would share with my brother. I would rather have our relationship than money
i would have said, "call jerry springer. stop wasting my time!"
guess dave's nicer than me.
I don’t agree here… So many assumptions and I blame bad kids on bad parents.
Her mom cutting off her kid for 25 years is pathetic
Don't get tricked out of your money, however you got it.
Did all this disfunction/relational issues exist prior to the mother developing Alzheimer’s dementia?
Sounds like it did. The mother wrote her off years ago.
You never know Dave?? My mama is a head case with my sister and oldest daughter. They blackballed me many times! I cut them off years ago! It could be the caller… just sayin….
"boundaries".... find some..
She needs to follow whatever is dictated by the will.
Please think long and hard about doing something like this in a will. Having your dying wishes cause anger and resentment in your wake seems like an awful thing to leave behind.
And it does that.
I have a mom who is going full steam ahead because she is a narcissistic who is the cause of all the toxicity. She w@nts to continue that in the afterlife
I would help out, because it's now my money, and it's the right thing to do.
I would like to hear the other side of the story
Honestly, I don't think it matters who the cause of the relationship breakdown was, I wouldn't be expecting an inheritance from someone I have no relationship with.
I agree but I also think that should come into play when making judgments about her and Dave calling her a head case or saying she wants prostitution. Maybe her mom sucked or was abusive and she dealt with it for many years and now wants part of the money. Obviously, legally this doesn’t give her the right but that doesn’t make her morally wrong.
The hosts of this show have very few facts, and are steamrolling their judgements towards the caller in a very bombastic way. I don’t agree with their harmful advice and spurious character assassination. The one daughter tried to make amends with her mom. This is difficult to do when a person has dementia. It is wrong that she inherited nothing. The sister should step in and do the right thing.
Don't disrespect your parents. It is right there in the 10 commandments.
@David Chavez it is a law given directly from God to Moses.
Is there anything about not making assumptions in your Bible? If your parents say, "you can't love that person" would it be disrespecting them if you did? If your parents said "our daughter's job is to be at home raising he babies" and you decide not have children and instead have a career, would that be disrespecting your parents?
@@brianparrett114 yes and yes. This is because it is God's Law. I am ex-atheist. I do not need your anecdotes, the reason why the West us falling to pieces are people like yourself. Without morality or God, there is nothing worth saving in what ever world you want to make
@@brianparrett114 The Ten Commandments are not assumptions, they are commandments.
Some parents are very bad people. I didn’t realize this until I got older.
One day I'm gonna have to share this house i basicly purchase my self for my parents,i have 3 brothers because i put my parents name in the property documents wanted to be a nice son,only 1 of my brothers deserve a part,another one have never provide a single dollar for anything..!
The reason why a parent would cut off a kid from the will is if the kid was being a fool.
Ramsey pronounces in a few seconds on a family matter with all its nuances that took years to play out. Without the input of the other party no less.
"Why would your mom leave something to someone who would not speak to her".
You don't need "nuance" to come to that conclusion.
@@ld4974 the woman said that her sister tried to speak to the mother but the mother was too strong willed to cave
Sounds like mom was trying to control the daughter’s life since she didn’t like the daughter’s significant other. The daughter wouldn’t kowtow to mom so mom hurt her the only way she could-writing her OUT of the Will. Mom sounds vindictive. If it was me, I’d share the inheritance with my sister.
Yea you can't like everybody. I don't like some of the guys my sister has dated but it's her life. She can do what she wants.
That does sound like what happened, maybe the sister is a lesbian and the mom wouldn't tolerate that. If she were to give her sister a gift that would be taxed differently than the inheritance.
Or mom may know that the significant other will take or swindle the money from her daughter and would rather not allow room for that to happen by simply not giving it to her
@@AVG336 If the mom felt that way, she could have left it all to the other daughter with instructions to pay out a certain amount each month or year to her sister.
Look Holly we don't know her sister. We're just guessing from what the lady said that doesn't sound like her sister is anyone Worthy or capable of repairing relationship with. Then again we don't know only this woman really knows what her sister is about we're just taking a shot in the dark. If your sister isn't really an upright honest responsible person she's doing wrong by forking over money for her to go on for own sociopathic way. The woman's getting some good advice and there's nothing wrong with your thinking if you're dealing with somebody who's responsible and normal
There is a chance the mother was extremely toxic.
The sister is toxic
no difference. Her $, her decision.
@@lucasgaeta3403 Of course it's her decision. No one disputes that. But she is literally calling to ask WHAT the best decision would be. And the specifics of the family situation make a big difference in that!
@@isay207the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
If she was like that, I would nit like to touch her money.
Look assets are no one's but the owners! They don't owe anybody! They can do what they want with what they own. This situation sounds a lot like my brother, relational blackmail, threats and relational withdrawal. Money is not the problem....it is revealing the problem... Yup, that is exactly my conclusion.
The one thing I take issue with on this one is how would their dad feel if he knew one of his daughters was excluded. Also, Alzheimer's can strain relationships and it starts long before an official diagnosis. I would think that if the mom were of sound mind she would never have excluded her daughter, even if they weren't always close.
My mom is a narcissist. We had a rough childhood with her ups and downs. She is now slipping. We couldn’t figure out for years what was wrong, but now since our grandma died of Alzheimer’s we see mom following the same pattern. My sister is controlling and manipulative, I’m pretty sure Dave could have jumped to conclusions about the caller as well. Money and wills bring out the wolves!
She stole her sisters money with her trash mom..Ramsey supporting it
We live in crazy times for sure
I’m in this situation with my sister.
my older brother is upset that I reported to Probate Attorney, the cash money that we found in my deceased brothers house. My brother just wanted to pocket the money. I told him I wasn't going to lie about it. Now he and his wife have chosen to kick me to the curb. He told me that he "doesn't want to see my face again until the day he dies". Well okay, I'm still not going to lie. He made the choice to end our relationship.
Your brother was wise.
Set yourself up financially where wills don't matter
That mother wanted to punish her daughter and still have some control even when she was gone. That sounds toxic
Exactly. I would have requested not to be in the obituary, nor would I have attended the services. Then when people asked why not, I would spill the beans over the true nature of the relationship.
Or she just does not want to leave it to a daughter who did not talk to her
Or she knows her daughter would just spend it all partying and on drugs
Exactly caller even explain that mom cut the daughter off. My guess is mom was manipulative so the daughter became manipulative
We don't have enough information to make a judgement. Any judgement we make is from our own traumas since we don't know what happened here.
How do you two men know Mom didn't play favorites and cause problems between the girls? The caller can do whatever she wants, but Mom probably was no peach.
"Children respect your parents. Parents do not anger your children." The sister being gossiped about by you guys, behind her back, is angry. Mom was no peach.