The Harsh Reality For 50% Of Women
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.พ. 2022
- Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - 7 Ha...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson reacts to 50% of women being childless by 30. ONS has recently released data saying that 50.1% of women haven’t had children by age 30. Why does Jordan Peterson think that women are having fewer and fewer children? Why are women having children later in life? Does Jordan Peterson think that population collapse is imminent?
#jordanpeterson #birthrate #dating
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@@mosesking2923 What a terrible person
I was childless at age 58, when my partner of 20 years suggested children. I worked and was fine not having kids. He was age 60 and organized the birth of twins by egg donor/carrier. So, I raised my 13 year olds from birth at a late age, experiencing both states of womanhood in my lifetime. I would say childless women may be happier, have time for opportunities for self-expression, and lead more interesting lives. But, I deeply love my children and cannot deny that the experience is profound, my understanding of life broadened, and am a less selfish person as a result.
@@gracielchiu Sounds Ace, older parents have a richer comprehension of the pitfalls their children can face, which has to be benificial
You tease you 😂
@@Josh-tf9cr I understand his point, however I don’t think Christ himself would hope for tragedy in hopes of growth. The issue is “hoping” for bad things to happen. Obviously pain and suffering allow for growth but I personally think it’s better to hope they recover instead of hoping they deal with consequences.
When men don't want children, its normal. But when women don't want children, it raises questions.
I know. It’s just so ridiculous
Says who? No one is forcing you to have kids ....
men deal better with being alone than women do. that is a fact
@@spiritofalaska But don't studies show that women (whether married or not) have a larger support system 🙄🙄🙄
@@ABC-ho5jo that is why i wrote men can deal with being alone better than women, because we usually don´t need bunch of "support groups". we enjoy lone time much more.. also the "girl squads" don´t last. because times change and people move or some get married then the ones who never get married or have children are all left alone by themselfes. there are alot of single and lone women out there
I was raised by a narcissistic woman and I find that I meet too many narcissistic women. I'm great believer that "All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children." My greatest fear is to be trapped in loveless marriage and the children are the collateral damage.
That doesn't excuse ending your own bloodline like a dumbfuck.
@@Slavkleos
Bloodlines don’t matter. 😋
Same goes for women.
❤️
agreed! it`s awful and difficult to even see how wonderful family can be when your first, important years were ruined by family. Nowadays you dont wanna deal with any of that shit
would prefer option what guarantee: peace, no stress and anxiety all the time. Just saying pls do what you think its best for you. You know yourself better than anyone
I am pregnant now at 40. The reason I got pregnant only now, not only because I focused on my career, it's because it took me a long time to find a man who shared the same values and goals as me and was ready to take a relationship seriously enough to build a family together. I've felt the pressure so long of "freezing eggs" and "getting older". I could just see now that I am really healthy to carry a pregnancy by doing everything naturally.
Congratulations, but be careful about having any more. At 40 you have an extremely high risk of having a kid with autism or various birth defects. Good for you for earning your own money though, far too many women have kids without ever having had any sort of real job before! That will come in handy if you have a daughter, because you're in a position to raise her without ramming it down her throat that the only way to "earn" money is to marry it.
@@ivanadraguljic6372 Career/work is never important to most people anyway. It's just making plenty of money that's important because modern day life is extremely expensive.
Life is too short to work for a living, people only do it because it beats the alternative.
Also, at 33 it's extremely unlikely that a wealthy man will consider you unless you're extremely gorgeous--and if you were, you could have married a wealthy man a long time ago, maybe 10 years or even more. It probably would have been creepy as hell but money is money!
@@devilsoffspring5519 The autism risk is with older fathers not older mothers, however probably most older women are married to older men so fair enough
@@devilsoffspring5519 70% of women in the UK work statistically, most women work, this is not rare. Most of us will never have the option of marrying rich even when we're young.
@@devilsoffspring5519 That's nonsense perpetuated by pseudoscientists. The only risk is dying while giving birth. I bet you're the type that think incest is bad. It's only bad if you do it more than once.
Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you HAVE to !
But it can mean you should do.
@@brianterence3211 …. No
@@brianterence3211 free will is a thing
@@brianterence3211
It doesn't mean you should
@@brianterence3211
Doesn’t mean you have to or should. 😋😘
I am a woman, aged 60, never married, no children. For me it was the right decision, it is the lifestyle that suits my personality. That being said, I encouraged all the young women who have worked for me through the decades, to remember that what they had was a job and only a job. We were all disposable at work. If what they wanted was a marriage, children and a family then they should save their money, plan ahead, find someone who they loved and respected and hand me their notice when they were ready to start their family. I could always replace staff. Their family could never replace them. Women fought for the right to choose our destinies. Wanting to be a wife and a mother is a fine choice and a service to our communities.
Wonderful sentiment. Your staff were lucky to have you
Women didn't "fight" for squat. You complained a lot in the streets. Hardly storming Iwo Jima.
@@tellercydeyou alright dawg?
@@tellercyde I agree that it has always been innate in men to give their lives to women and want to please them so no real fighting was needed. But no need to argue about that in this thread which has nothing to do with that.
Sounds like cope and backward rationalizing.
Who also is a 30-year-old with no kids watching this 🙋🏻♀️
I'm 28 with no kids.
@@blakkwaltz NICE!!!
Here are the cold hard facts : At 30 add your 'body count' to your age. The number you arrive at will be your percentage of never marrying. 30 years old , bedded 35 guys, 65% chance you will be alone from here on out. Body count : How many guys you've had sex with. BJs must be included in body count.
32 with no kids and no man.. but happy. I'll adopt one day.
Halla one right here ......shout from Johannesburg!!!!
I did a lot of thinking as a child. I thought constantly about everything. As I grew older I realised I couldn’t have everything I wanted in life (the perfect career, husband, kids). I knew I had to pick one or the other. I choose what my heart wanted and I decided to get married and have my first child by 25. Im now 36, have 4 children and still married to an amazing man. I am a homemaker. And yes, I am very lucky that I found someone so young that was right for me and who could support us all. Once my children are older, I will look into joining the work force to earn extra money.
I think you should understand that the chances of you re-joining the workforce after a long gap is unlikely. Fortunately your husband would have set aside money to compensate you for the lost years being a SAHM given the fact that you have no income .
There are many opportunities out there so don’t be discouraged. Many companies appreciate skills you have from running a household (eg negotiating with little terrorists 😊) good luck!
@@makeitcount2985 what makes you think it's unlikely that no employer will value her work ethic, people-skills, reliability etc.? Nothing stopping her from starting her own business either.
She will be fine with rejoining the workforce. A person like her is stable and has a good work ethic.
You are an awesome person 💓 You have priorities in correct order.
I never had children and have no regrets. Now my reason for that is kinda weird, but I was abused as a child and I'd heard so much about the cycle of abuse. I didn't want to do to a child what was done to me. I had a lot of anger problems so the chances were probably high. I got help and even now I have no regrets.
then stay single. no one is forcing you
@@rickyticky3350 Gee, thanks so much for your *Permission*
❤
I'm very sorry to hear that. It's hard to believe people can be cruel to their own children, yet we see it every day.
I felt unwanted and always had the fear I would secretly not want my child after having him or her.
I'm 36 and I will never have kids because I have already been worn out raising my mother and other siblings. Still am. I'm tired. Some of us just have fucked up lives. It's not fair but I guess I must accept that I will never have my chance on the "competence hietarchy". Dammit. That just sucks. 🙄
You're not alone, believe me. I didn't have the physical or emotional energy left for kids by the time I was grown, and possibly owing to the dysfunction of my family of origin, haven't had the urge to reproduce. Life's complex, and there are many ways of being a mother that don't involve giving birth. There will never be a shortage of orphans and neglected young people in this world - something my teaching job showed me. On the flip side of things, I 've seen so many women who've poured their everything in to their kids, only to be deserted by them, and are left feeling confused, hollow and so far out of touch with themselves that don't know what to do with their freedom. Peterson fails to factor any of that in.
If its any comfort, I will never have children either.
Never say never. God has blessed many women with children later in life. You may feel tired, but if you find the right husband he will share the burden with you and make it easier for you.
@@ccrow3355 Most people don’t believe in traditional marriages anymore. The divorce rate is astonishing. What happened to being bound to death by grace and love in God’s presence?
@@PenguinFire777 like I said, find the right husband
Why don't we talk about having children is much more expensive nowadays than decades ago?
@@mmecharlotte👏👏👏👏👏
Not that it was more expensive it’s that there’s more to buy
@queefstormiest
It is, that's a fact.
You may not know because you don't have any kids, and if you have, you are not taking proper care of them.
@@31tentaclesthe US government gives a $3600 income tax credit just 10 years ago it was about $500 credit… as a whole in our society we need a growing population cause they will take care of us at older age and keep the economy going.
@@gabrielgonzalez6456
OMG, what? Having children is not so they can take care of old parents, no offense but that's just fkd up, bro ❗️ if a man wants children so they can take care of him when he is old, he doesn't need kids, he needs a nurse (or she, whatever), children are people, not objects or property
I never wanted children. Then when I got married my husband also didn't want to have children. When I was 34 I felt an overwhelming desire to have a child but my husband wasn't ready. Fast forward 2 years later and my husband asked me why we didn't have children. So, we decided to start a family. It was the best decision I ever made. My son filled a void in my life I didn't know I had. Especially, since I wasn't considered by many to be maternal. Becoming pregnant and having a child is a life changing experience. Fast forward to the present moment and we are expecting our 2nd child in May. I will say that parenthood shouldn't be rushed into if you aren't ready to commit. Parenthood is an extreme joy that nothing in life can compare to but it is also the hardest life journeys you'll ever embark on. So, be ready to fully commit and have a partner who'll support you on this journey. You'll find its one of the most fufilling things you've ever done.
by nature women have a maternal instinct, you can't ignore it, glad it's working out well, sadly too many people are NOT FIT for or will ever be ready for parenting, why? they did get good role modeling to do this growing up, we have too many children growing up in single parent homes, they don't get role modeling for marriage or parenting, they often become dysfunctional adults with kids later -- not good for them or society
fast forward to now and no one cares. then fastforward some more and i still whipe my a** with your story.
Children are not things that you can "fill the void in you with". That's deplorable, narcissistic mindset! Poor kid, will be eff'd up with a parent like you.
"Don't rush into parenthood if you aren't ready to commit."
At 34 you were already leaving it late. People more so than ever are really getting carried away with arrested development. Wasting so much of their 20's on vacuous nonsense that they like to call fun. Only to approach family with some poorly understood notion of settling down.
@@ThermicLight, you make a mistake. It is not "arrested development", it's called using brains instead of your crotch. Intelligent, well-educated people do not breed- they have much better things to do that deal with endless puke and sh*t. never-ending temper tantrums, sleepless nights and idiotic Play-doh.
Do NOT do it if you don't feel it.
Exactly, it does not effect anybody else, where we choose to reproduce or not, except the child being born into this hellhole of oppression and hate. But, if someone three kilometers from me chooses to have children, it will not effect me in the slightest. If they choose not to have children, it still does not effect me. I chose to not reproduce because I am not making more tax slaves for the wealthy-elite politicians and corporate zombies. I just can not be that selfish. However, this effects nobody but me and the politicians and corporations, which I care nothing for them.
It’s that simple
these feelings were manufactured...
@@christianb.4726
The feelings for wanting kids were manufactured? I guess that makes sense, given how annoying they are. 😉
It is absolutely the worst advice to follow your feelings, have you ever seen how the feelings of a women change about something in a 28 day period? The same person can have oposite feelings at different times of the month… that is why we have tradition and culture to guide us through the unknown
I rather be a single than a single mom.
… and you can be a single mom, married or not.
good. get married before having kids
@@wade2boshRead the comment above you🙄
He is saying getting married is better than being a single mom with children born out of wedlock.
❤
I thought the lack of children had more to do with people simply not being able to afford children given the current state of the economy? People in the newer generations can't keep up with inflation, outrageous medical costs, rising housing costs, all alongside student debt. My partner and I consciously decided not to have kids for this reason alone, despite the fact we'd like to. We just can't afford it, even in our 30's.
Edit: We just had one child recently and are looking to grow our family, but our 830 sqft home can't accommodate. We decided to not have a 2nd kid since we can't afford a new house with the current housing prices. I guess economics strikes yet again.
Edit #2: My partner and I are now divorced due to financial hardship straining our marriage after having a kid. She wanted to be a stay at home mom, but it wasn't possible on one teacher's income. Suffice it to say this ultimately drove a wedge between us. I feel so angry and frustrated. I hate this economy.
that sounds terrible :( are you located in the USA?
My experience (60+ mother & grandmother) is that we can always find a way to afford the things that really matter to us. So unless you are truly destitute, don't let a modest income or lifestyle stop you from becoming a parent. I can recall some pretty lean times raising my son and yet I have never once regretted it. We always found a way and he turned out very well.
Jordan peterson is very biased and traditionalist in these aspect and can only see one view when it comes to child bearing despite the fact that he prides himself on being open minded. Sometimes I pity his wife. He's one of those people who is so used to being the smartest person in the room, he becomes closed minded to external perspective on things.
funny how poor people have more kids
@@nancybatch7007 That is a disgusting way of encouraging people to raise children in povery.
It's my 29th birthday today and I'm genuinely sad about not having a child yet. I still have to find a good husband and get onto having kids, but I feel like society pushed the career thing so much on our generation that we're seriously behind on everything else. I don't really care that much about my career, but it took a while to truly realize that what I genuinely want is to be a mom.
Good luck and don't rush. Your life will never be the same. But, I would still work part time or have residual income. You never know what will happen and aways have a plan B, C, and D. It may not be a divorce or anything of that nature... just want to see you prepared and protected so you can take care of yourself and your kids if you are on your own. I wound up having to go it alone and provide for myself and my child. I have my doctorate and was able to take care of us. My son is profoundly autistic, non-verbal, can't take care of the simplest of tasks, and needs 24/7 care. Fortunately, that is a rarer outcome, but I had to go it alone after ex abandoned us, so just encourage all women to make their money. I don't care how they do it, you have to think ahead. Best case scenario you just have more money for family or retirement. Worst case scenario you can take care of yourself and family.
When you became a mom you will genuinely want to have your own money and freedom it’s never enough for human beings
29 is not bad. Just look for a consciously right-leaning man, they are today the most devote fathers. At best he is also a catholic or orthodox Christian. Those man will be extremly glad if you want to be a mother. Just be explicit about this in your search for a hustband and I bet you will find a proper husband very soon. Was the same with us, now the 4th child under way. Its exhausting in the beginning with the 2nd, after that it gets WAY easier. Its hard to explain how much I love our kids. Best thing in life. All the best to you.
I am 28. Same. I haven’t find the right man for me yet.
Explore the world , be happy, joyous your not going to attract a beautiful person with pregnancy worries. I am 44 still have regular period and plan on having 3-4 more. I naturally had a baby at 31 and 37. Don't let anyone make you think 29 is old. You should have easily 7+ years to get pregnant. Search ayurvedic ways to keep reproductive system healthy. Obgyn in US do nothing, in India women take shatavari . You need to nourish your body. Being stressed isn't going to work for you
This whole dichotomy of children v. career is ridiculous. This implication that all childfree (by choice) women are success-driven money hungry girlboss go getters is not helping.
One word....feminism.
@@kirstenrichards8558 Feminism is all about equal opportunity and personal choice, aka individual liberty.
I’m 33 and don’t have kids because I can’t afford it…my partner and I just had to downsize to basically living in one bedroom in a house that’s falling apart because we can’t afford rent anywhere else right now. And no, we don’t live in some big, expensive city. I can’t fathom having enough money to raise a child and provide a safe, clean home for them. I can’t even provide that for myself right now.
Absolutely. I had a miscarriage at 42, now at age 50 it's just never going to happen. I was never bothered about having kids really, but some women can't have any! Finding a decent guy to settle down with is almost impossible these days for many women, I don't mean because men don't want to settle down, I just mean there's almost zero men I'm actually attracted to in that way! I just haven't found anybody I want to be with. (And saying women can't have a career and children at the same time is just stupid really, plenty of women do this don't they?)
@@RuthRandoms Should not have watched so many shows with hot guys in it
I worked this out for myself. The ‘wanting it all’ of the 1980’s is actually having to do it all. I saw so many good, sensible women burnt out and thinking the problem was them. Cruel.
True. But society won’t notice this things that women go through.
Agree. If it’s between children and career, the later wins. A child is a huge commitment (when you care) and yet women are not compensated for this vital labour.
@@fi-train8961 that is a very sad way of looking at it. you care more about money than your own family glad your not my parent.
@@mike-pw8hi That is because your family will *die* if you don't have the money to feed them.
@@fi-train8961 ignoramus
I'm 28 and I'm so tired already without even having kids. Having kids would literally destroy me.
Same 😅
yeah riding the cockcarussel must be exhausting
Having a child is the best thing you can have in the world.
@@duncanhewitt6557
I’d rather have my trips to Japan. 😋
It's not for everyone. But, think about the topic enough to the point where you know you won't regret your decision in the future
I never felt maternal and always feared being a mom given my traumatic childhood, losing my mom at age 12 and being a latch -key neglected preteen and teen. Our dad basically would leave me alone at age 12 years with my 11year old sis and 1 year old bro months at a time. I basically parented both my siblings, run the household and paid bills. The only thing our dad did was leave me a few hundred dollars every 2 to 3 months then he went away on "trips", until I learned that he lived with his secretary and her kids at another part of the city. As an older teen, sometimes I had to do odd jobs so my sis, bro and I wouldn't starve. Long story short, I never wanted to be a mom as an adult, coz I was already one as a kid and it was hard. Interestingly, I ended up having my very healthy, fit son at age 47 years. Luckily, his dad at 56 was also very active and involved in my son' s life.
Congratulations 🙂
Your father is a sorry excuse of a human being. Some men can be so worthless. They'll do the stupidest things for sex.
I hope your siblings appreciate your sacrifice and that you are enjoying parenthood the second time around. I thank you for being a good human being and doing what's right/hard even if it wasn't your responsibility. It makes us better and resilient, too, so I hope you feel some sense of peace in having lived your difficult childhood.
Unreal, all the best for you. Amazing story.
Shouldn't you be saying ( our sons) life??
Wow that's incredibly rough but glad to hear you were resilient despite your life circumstances 😮
I flipped at 34. I was so done giving my best to companies. Now I give my family my best and it feels correct. I still get so many job offers
You’re a stay at home Mom?
The best decision you will ever make, god bless you and your family 🙏🏽
Now you just have to hope a another country doesn't declare war and invade. Considering 65% of men are single and don't care anymore about careers, that family could be gone.
Christ and the Essene's believed that bringing children into the world was a sin and trapped the consciousness of God in physical matter and it was a great service to remain celibate and spare the consciousness of god the cruel experience of this world ruled by the demiurge Yaldabaoth.
@@eldenking2098 but how could the consciousness grow through experiencing Earth in a physical form if there were no physical body available to inhabit? thats why we come here to Earth...to learn about and spiritually develop our immortal souls by choosing to live in this temporary dream world of duality and pain....you need a physical body to do that don't you? Coming to Earth for awhile is the "fastrack' for our spiritual development...thats why we come here in the 1st place...the" iron must be made into steel" and tested in this world of illusion..in this world of "hard knocks"....
I’ve never wanted children as a child. I’m 39, don’t have kids, and gladly don’t want kids. Having a family, children isn’t for everyone. Stay blessed
Exactly! THIS is what's hapening, people are CHOOSING not to reproduce. Period.
@@clublulu399 is there any science to prove that or ...?
@@clublulu399 No, you should get out and talk to people more. You're making a silly assumption. Women are not hardwired to have kids, they just can if they want to. It's an option. Some of us don't want anything to do with it. Once you have kids, you can certainly understand the downside to it.
I've never wanted kids (I'm 38). I have a huge, dysfunctional family, and while I strive for and maintain a healthy lifestyle it's never been a desire for me. I've been with my husband 24 years, and we both love children but we are more than content loving our many neices and nephews. Don't let people make you feel like something is wrong with you. If it's in God's plan for you to have children, you will have children.
@@LapisPebble Humans are not bacteria whose only purpose is to reproduce mindlessly, many great minds of history died without children and they are still remembered, while the average family and parent is unremarkable.
I love this comment section because it has so many varying opinions.
People past 40’s with no kids & loving it.
People who had kids in 20’s loving it.
People who had kids later & regretting it
People who are unable to have kids and okay with it.
Guy who wants a family and kids but will likely never get chance due to not being wanted. Add that to the list.
And the 40s desperately wanted kids and devestated with her infertility person. Add that one, too.
There arw so many reason to be thankful
True. And they're all satisfied with their lives. There's a level of satisfaction with that.
@@PwerRanger01 I'm 34 and never been in a fulfilling relationship
When financial stability is uncertain, some people simply prefer not to bring children into the world to suffer.
Have a baby? In this economy? Are they serious?
It’s always something. If you wait until everything is perfect, you will never have a child. My wife and I raised 8, some adopted and it was tough but worth it at least to us.
When the hell was life supposed to become easy? If you are not fulfilled by the happiness and job of parenthood, than god forbid you have children, but its not as impossible as you are emoting.
When ppl move to cities, kids stop being an asset and become expensive furniture.
@@peterinbratthat’s a horrible thing to say. I’m glad you are not passing on your genes.
As a preschool teacher I can tell you that 9/10 people would be better off never becoming a parent. It is just not for everyone and thats ok. I don't understand why some people get pushed into parenthood with no education, poor as all hell, anger issues, drinking problems...They have no idea what to do with a child so they take them to the kindergarten all day, take them home and put them to sleep. Don't be afraid not to have kids. These are not the ye old days. You should be happy to live like you want to. It can be with a baby and/or a job you like.And please don't think a baby will fix a crappy life or a crappy relationship. Young girls be smart, do better.
Thank you.
Exactly. That band aid baby or the golden goose. I have known 2 women that purposely got pregnant to get out of going to work or doing something they don't want to have to do. They lied to their boyfriend and the other one lied to her husband, went off the pill, didn't tell him and jumped on him when she knew she was ovulating. What gets me is their vile, manipulative plan works. They get pregnant no problem and get out of whatever it is they did not want to do. Yet, there are many women who would love a baby and plan on a baby because they actually want one, never use him or her as a pawn in their pathetic life and they cannot get pregnant to save their lives. I will never understand that one.
Going by your number than 90% of parents are drunks, druggies and psychos.... Which is plainly not true unless you live in a bad neighborhood. In which case your numbers are not representative. If you argument with numbers, give us the courtesy of using accurate data.
@@lauravergot9995 you’d be shocked how common child abuse is these days.
It’s called discipline!! No one has the discipline in the heat of the moment to use protection so most of us were accidents.
Complicated issue. The ones who should be having kids are putting it off, often till it's too late, and the ones who shouldn't ever have kids are cranking them out like assembly lines, often with multiple (unmarried) fathers and social services involved.
100% accurate, good comment man
Nailed it. Reminds me of "Idiocracy". We're living it.
@@IdExCS "I'm gonna f**k all of y'all!! Wooo!!!"
this is literally it! the issue isn't people in general choosing to have kids or not, its the people who SHOULD NOT be having kids and doing it anyway, THOSE people are the problem.
Yup. The smart people create social welfare programs and then decide not to have kids so all those resources just go into raising dumber kids 🙄
Yep happy to be part of the movement. Childfree and solo by choice.
😎🍻
Yes!!!! Women are so much more than mothers. But this kind of old white men will never get it. They will hold on to the idea of sexism and biologism until their death.
My 70yr old male friend told me he's thankful his daughter has the same life opportunities as his son.
But he's not realizing that each will value those opportunities differently. The son will value education, work, and income a lot higher than the daughter. Why? B/c with those things he's attractive to the opposite sex. For her, those things will get a pat on the back at best or the envy of her peers. He will be fulfilled, she will not be fulfilled. You're seeing this more and more with young women today. They're starting to see they were sold a false promise but they're realizing this too late...
@ChadiusMaximus196
You really max out on wrong assumptions assuming she will be unfulfilled.
His daughter is an educated professional and an athlete, as is her partner.
There's no false promises whatsoever.
The 70 year old is a male simp
@@wyleecoyotee4252 What I have seen is the following. Most men are incels. The women aren't incels, but they aren't any happier because they're pingponging around from Chad to Chad. And this has reached the point where they *literally* do not care if you are cheating - seen that first hand. Also education has no effect on attraction, but steroids do, so we men end up taking stuff. Maybe your 45 year old "friend's daughter" is different, but let's be real brother, her father is 70, she's a generation older than us zoomers. She's old enough to be my mom, and has a "partner" instead of a spouse. How many kids does she have? Maybe she's happy, I hope she is, but Peterson isn't wrong.
Some women don't have children because simply they don't like them.The choice for a woman not wanting children and being aware of it helps preventing toxic parenting and mistreating children who in adulthood would bear deep emotional scars.It's not always about career,it can be a clear and simple conscious choice.
Many people don't like children who aren't their's.
Also, the way western society treats children makes them intolerable to be around
What a self-indulged cop out..
@@italiantraditionalcatholic2390 No such thing. No one owes you children you will never see or contribute to. You're selfish because you impose on others.
@@italiantraditionalcatholic2390 I have cousins in another state (USA) who are Catholic and they are early thirties. Most Catholics I know are (sorry) full of shut because they don't follow any of the rules but will insist that they are going to heaven. Blah blah blah. I barely know these cousins, but I heard they adopted a crack baby -- worked through the issues -- and then 3 months later, another unwanted newborn they heard about. If you're going to make me listen to your Catholic bs, then at least be like my cousins -- adopt crack babies and then we'll talk. I really admired them practicing what they preach. Rare.
Thank you.
Many women don’t have children because of life circumstances not always by choice. I’m 32, housewife, married for two years. I always wanted children, but three months ago my husband got aggressive type of cancer and fighting for his life. I can’t even imagine ever starting all over again with someone else. I might end up childless because of that but I can’t always control everything.
I'm sorry for your difficulties. I appreciate you sharing this though. For the conversation, yours is a good example of a situation where a woman does not have children despite wanting to do so.
I do hope the best for you no matter what, and for what it is worth, you are still plenty young if you did happen across someone. As you are able, it is always worth pursuing the goal if you wish. Or, if even you were to meet someone after 40, or thereabouts, adoption is always a great option for couples who want children but consider their age to be a risk factor for conceiving. In today's time, a couple in their 40s are plenty young to raise children even if biology makes it difficult.
Regardless, I wish you all of the best!
I have an example like this in the family, stay strong and good luck.
True, it is circumstantial for some. But you're much better off delaying in order to give yourself , your potential spouse, and your potential child the best shot at a stable life.
It's really hard out there nowadays, especially for single moms. And no shade....one of my best friends is a single mom. But she is struggling bigtime.
Do you think you have it worse than your grandparents?
@@hamzamahmood9565
Really inappropriate question. 😖
Don't do it unless you are ready for any outcome. I did everything rught in pregnancy and it still went horribly wrong. I would NEVER have a child if I could go back in time and I absolutely never would have gotten married.
You regret having your child?
What happened?
Why is it okay for men to chose what they want and not for women?
Now if more kids could have fathers, than we would have something.
Well said. I know Jordan is emphasizing the positives of having a kid here (sorta) but it’s such a huge risk for a variety of reasons, and one is you can easily end up a single mother and if you don’t have that established career, you’re going to be fucked. Especially if you’re in the US where we tend to demonize single motherhood
@@GavinMichaels The us tends to "demonize" single motherhoods?!?!
are you out of your mind? the us is probably one of the places that pushes for single motherhood the most, saying things like "you don't need a man", "women can do it all" and other bullocks.
@@GavinMichaels Exactly. Well stated.
@@dude2410 Compared to other developed countries, we do demonize them. Look at other developed countries and the benefits they have for single mothers, and compare it to the US. The fact that "welfare mom" is an insult for many conservatives is telling. It doesn't mean we have ZERO programs to help single motherhood, but it means we've got a long way to go. And it makes single motherhood such a huge risk in the US. Also I think you're taking the phrase "you don't need a man" to mean that women don't need a partner in marriage, where (at least when I've seen it used) it's in reference to women having self-respect without feeling like they need to be hitched (without a child that is) when the norm for so long was if you're not married by such and such age, you're a failure, embarrassment etc.
That's the REAL problem. Well said.
This is all a fair discussion, but why is it always about why WOMEN are childless at 30? Why are we not asking why men are childless as well?
I'm in my 20s and still single. I really see a lack of men willing to grow up and be a father just as much as I see women who don't want to have kids. I'm not going to raise kids without a father- not just a dad, but a true paternal figure.
@get busy child
You have no answers
Just propaganda
It’s a super easy answer. Men can simply wait longer. Women lose 90% of their eggs by 30. 35 is geriatric pregnancy. Men aren’t under this time crunch from a biology perspective. This is the science, like it or not.
Women peak in the dating marketplace in their early to mid 20’s. Men like women with less baggage, better attitudes, no kids in tow, and that still have all their youth, beauty, and fertility. Like it or not this is reality.
Men are judged more on money, status, experience, maturity. Looks matter but a man’s looks don’t fade nearly as fast as women’s do (on average). Men as a result peak in their mid 30’s.
@@bannedbycommieyoutube5time920 1. Sperm quality also declines over time
2. Statistically men die sooner
3. As a woman in my early twenties, I don't want to date 30-something dudes
@@bannedbycommieyoutube5time920 You don't have to be so aggressive with your wording but what you say is true.
@@epicwoad8999 we need to stop tiptoeing around these issues. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth, even if I don’t like their tone, than lie to my face and mislead me. Things aren’t good right now between men and women, the data proves it. Shooting the messenger is a bad look.
I was around in the 1970s and when I was at school there was a "don't get pregnant" mantra - that was always the thing going forward into teenage and adult life - this terror of getting pregnant accidentally - and that connected to the broader message that the world had a "population explosion" and that the fewer kids any of us had the better. Best option was none at all - but, if you had to - replacement level at two was just about acceptable - replacing you and your husband or partner (well, in those days it was mostly husband) when you popped your clogs. So I remember thinking as I entered my childless mid-30s "all I've ever been told is how NOT to get pregnant" but no one told us how difficult getting pregnant might be if left too late. So Jordan Peterson might not have heard that part of the history - but it was there, only few remember it now.
Yeah, blame society! As if you don't have a mind of your own to decide for yourself.
I've honestly never heard the phrase "popped your clogs" 😂
THANK YOU! Nobody every talked to us about HOW TO actually get pregnant if you're not 17 anymore and highly fertile. Lol it's not just happening any time at the month, even if the timing is right, the chance of 20% success is the highest it can get most of the time. Trying for over a year now with hubby, no baby in sight and it sucks. 😢 it's no fun anymore to try every month like crazy only for Aunt Flo to show up right on time every month and you think to yourself WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, NATURE?!
My religious zealot mother spewed that rubbish as well.
What is wrong with not having children?
Nothing. 😎
It potentially suggests a failing society.
@@whenpigsfly8178
Not even close. A successful society would include people who want kids and don’t want kids. There are places for all. 😋
@@LucareonVee No, if not enough people have children the population ages and collapses
@@AlexanderLittlebears
With 8 billion people on the planet, that would be a good thing. 😋
Maybe it depends on the person, but I got pregnant at 29 and had my first child at 30 - I have no regrets. I didn't have a bad childhood, but I definitely had a few creases to iron out on my personality before becoming a mother. I wasn't ready in my 20s, and would have resented having a child of I had become a mother at 22 or something. So waiting until my late 20s/early 30s was the right thing for me.
Early and even mid 30s is a reasonable age to have children. My mom had my sis at 31 and me at 33. My grandmother had my aunt at 38 and my dad at 42.
Feminists try to drive this narrative that women don't need to think about their age and they can freeze their eggs, and they have plenty of time, etc. It's lunacy. There's definitely a time limit. On the flip side, it's frustrating how the more conservative types tend to drive the narrative that women need to have their children in their 20s. Its as though they think we hit menopause at 30. Both mentalities are flawed.
@@JessG_20 While you are correct, it's also true that men shouldn't have kids after their 40s. Testosterone plummets and autism becomes more prevalent.
@@VintageCardinal Agree, that's something else I was thinking but didn't mention.
@@JessG_20 It does seem like the narrative is either/or.
I had 3 kids in my 20's while working in aviation. And then I had twins at 40 years old last year. I've got to say, in my 40's, I realized I was too old and too tired to get through the pregnancy while holding down a job and definitely too old and tired to take care of twins and hold down a job. Eff that noise. But in my 20's I had a supportive husband and the energy and drive to hold down a job and be a mother. We shared parenting duties and I think we made a great decision going ahead and having kids in our 20's. 18 years of marriage and he's still wonderful.
The thing is, I did college but never saw my job as a career. I looked for a field that would provide well for me. I was in a male dominated field and didn't try to compete for promotions. I was never interested in working myself to death. I rejected overtime and was told I'm not a team player. I'd rather be a good parent than a team player.
@@runningfromabear8354 I can imagine having twins at 40 would be insanely hard. I was kinda shocked when I found out my grandma had my dad at 42. I've always felt the ideal age for me personally would have been 28 to 33..Sadly, I'm now 35 😂
I also notice that something else people don't take into account are the obesity rates when they're discussing women's ticking clock. Being overweight will usually affect fertility. From what I've read, overweight women tend to have much more difficulty getting pregnant. One of my older coworkers was telling me a couple years back that I need to "hurry up" because her own daughter who is 1 year older than I, started having issues with fertility around age 31 or 32. Well her daughter, who I've met, looks to be nearly 300 lbs 😐
I just turned 24 and see a lot of my High School classmates as Single Parents with one or even two children. I could not imagine how they can support themselves in this economy, especially having to divert most of their attention to take care of the baby.
exactly... one of my best friends is a single mom...she's in her late 40's but times are TOUGH for her. one of her kids is on college and is a total leech/spends so much unnecessarily. i feel for her!
@@EadsB7002 Leech 😂😂😂😂
That one of the main things that make if incredibly difficult. This economy. Its going to get worse. Having a newborn in this day and age is not a good idea.
Well you can ask them why they're simgle parents. It takes two people and two incomes in most cases in this economy in order to properly raise children. You're right, it's not fair for the child to have a single parent try to raise them all on their own, but investigate why they're single parents. I guarantee most of your friends had children out of wedlock, or have divorced their spouses over reconcilable shit. We need to reconstruct the family unit, but it doesn't start with the children. It starts with husbands and wives to form healthy marriages.
@@jacksonmills961 you're missing something there mate,in order to re establish marriage the way it's supposed to be , Religion has to take power again and dictate its laws and thus reconstruct marriage as God's wants it to be, unfortunately the west is anti religion and won't accept to have religion rulling,so people will just keep roaming as lustful animals and women will keep being sexually exploited and impregnated out of wed lock and be condemned to be single mothers for the rest of their lives.
There’s a thousand different reasons for this, but nobody seems to be mentioning rising costs. It’s expensive to have kids and you pretty need to put off buying a house to have one. More women/couples are choosing financial stability before having children.
Wait this seems great? What's the problem. No annoying kids or man child? Why does this bother anyone.
It bothers the man children who think it’s their right to control women. 😉
(This comment comes courtesy of a man)
I came from Eastern Europe, where most children grow up in dysfunctional families. The typical father is alcoholic, violent, unfaithful to his household unemployed wife. Many of my friends (including me) choose to pursue a career and gain financial independence first before thinking about marriage. So if we ever end up in a scenario as our mothers have, we could leave the broken marriage and spare our children of the trauma we've suffered as children. Choices for the career first and later marriage (or no marriage at all) came from poor father/daughter relationships, which lead to deep untrust/fear towards men and marriage in general.
Good for you, Eastern European men are all over Ireland and they're really horrible to even us native women who pay taxes to give them free housing. They're really aggressive too
damn speak for yourself. Calling every Slav dysfunctional.
Thank you for putting this in. I am from a middle eastern family and I am a witness of how my mother is being patient with my father, who mentally abused the entire family for more than a decade. I see this in 90% of my relatives relationships as well. Unfortunately it is a cultural thing for many, that the wife is a mother and is not independent and has no other choice than staying with a crazy husband ( it also happens to be the other way around, but this video is about women). You never know how things go, so it IS important to get at least a decent education so that you can have a secure job to survive, if things go totally wrong. But I still want to finish my studies because it is my highest interest to be a scientist and can't wait to become a mother one day!
@@BOZ_11 excuse me, so if a man is totally unhappy with his wife after a couple of years, how is it then? „ well, he married her“? You never know people 100%, we don’t even know ourselves. And especially in other cultures, you don’t get the chance to „try“ someone first as it is in western countries. People most likely think that people all over the world have the same freedom in choosing their partners the way it is in western societies.
Smart men are walking away from whamen and marriage big time now, so don't worry. Enjoy your career and cats ...
Some women simple don't wanna risk ending up as single mothers, struggling to take care of and financially provide for children on their own.
Fair point but the bitterness and hostility within your answer is very detectable. Having grown up my entire childhood as one of three children being raised by a single mother, I understand the difficulties of such a situation. And, I, like many others, am disturbed with the percentage of non-present fathers, so it is understandable why for many women have their guard up.
For everyone wanting to build a family, finding a proper Partner is not easy. Moreover, once a potential Partner is found, developing and maintaining the relationship long term is incredibly challenging. But, my ultimate advice is, even with all of this considered, not to stop trying. While children do grow up in a family with a single mother due to the father choosing not to be around, there is another significant factor that contributes to the number of single parent homes. Many people in relationships nowadays, men and women alike, do not try nearly hard enough to overcome obstacles and challenges with the appropriate level of determination to stick together. People throw in the towel much too quickly. And, this comes mostly at the expense of the children. People need to have the fact consistently reinforced that having and raising a child will add that much more challenge to any relationship, which is normal, but with the appropriate efforts and cooperation, a happy and loving family is not just possible, but necessary and endlessly rewarding.
But, too many people are forgetting that once a relationship involves a child, the responsibility for both parents to maintain the relationship grows tremendously. The situation mostly stops being about the parents and both parents have an obligation to the child to maximize their efforts towards cooperation and maintaining a healthy relationship and household.
Ultimately, I share all of this because, while there is merit to your comment, its tone indicates that you may have had relationships or other experiences that have caused your hesitation and aggravation with trying to build a relationship and family. But, it is important to try your best to recover and keep trying when you are able. It is true that, with three children and a single mother in the household, our family struggled a lot growing up. Yet, my mother undoubtedly considers here children to be her top accomplishment and she has always made it clear that her love for her children fulfill her happiness and keep her heart beating. While all women do not need to feel that same way, it only makes sense that having children is a top priority for many women and can be one of the most rewarding aspects of their lives. So, despite all the challenges of our time, and all of the risk involved, the reward involved is worth it. And if it helps, it is still the case that many men desire to build a happy family as well. So, while I can understand why women can feel hesitant and defeated at times following difficult relationships or other challenges, I always consider it worth it to take the necessary time and steps to recover from bad relationships, or other experiences, as needed, then always keep looking forward. For anyone willing to put in those consistent efforts, the reward is possible and of incomparable value.
This is what people don't get. I've seen so many women give up careers to be wives and moms and them get cheated on and left by their husband's. I will never give up my career and will always be financially independent because I'm not losing that to conform to what society keeps telling me I should do.
@@Megan-19 exactly. Even if I do ever get married, I'll always make sure I have an income so I'm not screwed if I become widowed or divorced.
Many women end up having children with the expectation that the man will provide and society pressures him to be the breadwinner for life or looks at him in disgust. On the other hand women are pressured to have children but many guys could be violent, or cheaters or abusive to you/children. A lot of people should not be parents.
@@Megan-19 if you don't want a husband or children, that's on you and it's perfectly fine. However, you make up only a small percentage of women who don't want a husband or children. He's talking about majority of these women will be miserable or full of regret when they exceed beyond the age of childbearing. Also, my mom was a single mother of 5 children and all 5 of us came out perfectly fine. She doesn't regret having any of us and all of us are glad we were born, even with being a single mother. There's nothing attractive about feminism and Jordan spends quite a bit of time dismantling it on a regular basis
If a woman desires NOT to have children, no one should be telling her that is wrong.
It’s expensive and a lot men have checked out.
You've got that right. Many of us have no interest in putting children into a country that will not follow the laws as promised. I'm not going to work hard to make my child a slave in our new society.
I need to find this man 😂
I'm a woman that never wanted kids. Just never had the interest. I'm 43 now and still don't have the interest. So I guess I'm the weird one here.
All hail feminism. Never have children. We defeat men and the patriarchy together. Never let a man run you. Lots of love from russia
Same. I'm 45, never want to get married or have children. To each their own. Get asked a lot if I'm married or have kids... when I reply "no" that usually ends the conversation, which is pretty sad. As if that's all women know what to talk about with one another. 🤨
@@Aleksandr-no5ugahaha that's funny. Yea Russia thanking the single moms rn
I’m from an impoverished single parent household where I wasn’t valued and treated as a burden with frequent abuse. My focus in life has been on survival. Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous. If a man cannot commit to me, I’m not having children without the necessary support to do so. I’ve broken the cycle of abuse and poverty and remain happily single and childless. I do have pets though.
Most of time women don't have an issue dating unlike an average guy who doesn't even get looked at as potential even if a good man. As women have it so easy and have many options then it is the women at fault for chasing wrong men if can't find decent one.
" Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous." Look for different type of men and a different setting. I know so many guys my age that wanted exactly that in their 20s.
You seem like an extremely self aware, intelligent person. I think you will have a happier life knowing that you’ve made your choices so consciously, based on how well you know yourself. I think having another being to care for is an innate part of the human experience. However, there’s no reason you can’t offer that care and love to a pet, who will no doubt have an amazing life.
Before my husband and I met he had 2 children. I'm 35, no children, never wanted children. Now that I'm getting older, I want children and my husband doesn't want any. Haha
I'll be ur pet
My story is more complicated as I unknowingly married an abusive man. When I divorced him, I have had major trust issues and can't take the leap again. When this happened, I chose the career over family. it was a mistake. I tell all younger women who are fixated on career that when you get ready to retire and you have no one to do things with and you have nothing to do, you realize it was a mistake. Don't do what I did.
Who can find an equal/quality partner by the time they are 29 if men are the same age or “5yrs older as is the preference for most females” according to JP 😂 I have two NPD parents and zero desire for children. I am sure my upbringing has something to do with it. But I also love living as a nomadic creative and musician and doing performances all over the world meeting people learning languages gives me so much joy and passion I don’t think I need anything else and if I had a kid or even partner I may have to give all that up. Some of us have goals and passions in life not just a “job” to live for. 37 and do NOT envy the lives of all my friends. I’m sure many envy me. There is so much you can do in life to give meaning but having kids is just the default if you aren’t smart enough to figure anything else out.
I’d say it’s only the “default” because it’s the traditional way that men have controlled women in the past. Basically, no one really cares that I don’t want kids because I’m a man and they don’t view children as a way to control me. Women on the other hand? Yeah, you know it better than I ever could.
Well okay. ^^ At least one self-centered person out of the gen-pool. However, I still wish you all the best and joy from your livestyle.
Gen X here. We were all told by our parents to wait until our 30s to have children. Society shifted and wanted our generation to experience a bit more life, become more financially secure, and mature enough to have that kind of responsibility. Now Society wants to reverse it for the next generation?!! However, the next generation faces never owning a house. Prior to this a family could be raised on one income and own a decent house.
I can totally understand why having children is becoming less achievable.
Don't think to much about material goods. There will always will be a solution, especially as people are dumping perfectly fine goods for nothing as second hand goods. The most important and beautiful things don't cost money: loving parents, time spend outside in the woods etc.
@@schulze6758there will always be rich people throwing away perfectly fine things. That doesn't mean a poor family can afford them, even thrifting, and the hours that costs to find useful stuff before the flippers do. Time outside in the woods is free, until you have to purchase the woods or land, or spend the time you dont have, while working to keep up payments on a shelter you'll never own. This really reads very out of touch with anyone being able to afford kids. but it shows you 'dont think too much about material goods' and don't know why anyone struggles
@@schulze6758 Oh yeah, because there are so many great jobs and affordable homes to purchase near "the woods" you'll send your children to play in...
You got! I told my daughter that you really can’t trust men to be providers or protectors anymore and men are just losing their minds. Instead of acknowledging that there is a problem with men wanting 50/50 now is when we look at alllll the responsibilities a woman must endure in order to be wifed plus having to work just as hard, marriage seems unfair for women. Now men use shaming tactics to force women to chase them. Makes no sense. I have 2 kids was married and stilll lived as a single mother. I would have never signed up for this shit if I knew that my husband was just going to find someone younger and dumber than me.🤷🏽♀️ oh well you live and learn the lies.
@@schulze6758 second hand furniture and clothing can NOT solve the problem of average house these days costing TEN average annual incomes, while 30 years ago it was only THREE.
As a young woman, I eventually had to ask myself the question: when I die what do I want to have, a family and husband who love me or a job that’s already replaced me? Money will go to the government if you don’t have kids to inherit. All your knowledge and best traits will die with you unless you have kids that you have raised to be responsible adults. A job title won’t love you back. I decided that I won’t ever chose a job or money over my family. I desperately want to have a loving family. I would like to have something to do outside my family that interests me, that I’m somewhat good at and benefits society at large. That would be the best life I can plan.
Edit: I didn't think I would have to say this because its obvious, but this is my opinion. I did not write this to convince anyone to be a stay at home mom, I wrote it because it's what I believe. I thought about this a lot, I used to think I needed a "career" or else I was lazy and a slave to a man. But life is not that simple, and motherhood is NOT oppression. It's a choice I make gladly, with full knowledge of what I am undertaking and what I am giving up. I'm not ashamed to say that I love my (future) kids more than any career. And once I am a mother, they will be my priority over myself. If you value a job more, then thats not my business nor do I care. It won't change my decision. After growing up in a pro feminist age and feeling ashamed of what I wanted, I no longer care what the main stream thinks about my desire for a family.
Problem is us men will not and not in increasing numbers accept women that age out and learn. We won't give our Prime based off what women find attractive to take care of and provide for women that squandered theirs. We aren't virgin or nothing, well some are, but we want your fertile prime or its not worth the risks.
You hit the absolute nail on the head. The funny thing is that all these women are prioritizing their education and career so they can be enslaved to an employer who will throw them away when they loose their value, due to age or other causes. I truly hope that these women spend the end of their lives childless and alone, so it can serve as a message to the rest of society that utilitarianism is nonsense. All your degrees, investments, and property is worthless. Your employer will throw you away in a heartbeat. Family is everything.
As another young women working in a very technical field I share your sentiment. My career is nothing more than a means for creating a stable environment, and if I someday have children, if it is in there best interest, I will be walking away from it.
@THE ZOLDICS yes. How the hell did you read what I said and take the exact opposite of what I said as my intent? That's what I said. Women want our Prime and young men are walking away because it's a raw deal.
@@mosesking2923 that's kinda harsh on women, but there is going to need to be a moment where something is understood more widely by them yeah.
Having kids doesn't guarantee that they'll be there when you get old
So true. Visit a nursing home sometime. 😢
Yes, 50% of women are single at age 30 and childless, because people marry at older age. I married at 33 and have 3 children and a career.
I’m 31 and feel quite pressured to have a child. People around me say “there will be no one for you when you’re old” and “just get a baby, even if you’re alone”. Yes, if I had a supportive and loving partner with whom I could raise a new human being, I probably would get children. But saying to get a child just for my own self is extremely selfish. 😢
Too old tbh dont bring in a deformed kid for selfish reasons
So not having a child hey. Will you give 40% of your income to families in poverty who are having children then?
Or will you enjoy your child free, responsibilty free lifestyle to buy all the lavish crap you have all the freedoms to buy?
Ive always taught the same. I would love to have a child, I already attempted once with a not so quality choice partner...Sadly it didnt make it. I was very excited to have someone of my own, someone that would love and need me. And I can love them back, but i always go back to your last sentence, thats extremely selfish of me. Not only that, its difficult to find someone that isn't so selfish or self centered to have a family. Times have changed and we should just accept it. There is no love or empathy, just the next day
@@glenbenton4855 I believe that there definitely is love ❤️ just start spreading it around you and it will “infect” others 😃
@@agathles You know, I don't want to be that "but i do" person but man, lot of people just take advantage of that and abuse you. Its the tale as old time but, I am tired of suffering due to my good heart and the ill intent of others just looking to see how they can step on you. Not to be negative
I'm one of the women who have made it to 50 (I'm 54) and never had children. I'm ok with it. I'm naturally a happy person and one of those over achievers you describe. For context, I'm divorced. I have 3 adult step children who I love, great job and lots of friends and hobbies. We do exist.
Not only do you exist, you are also doing great. There is no formula to life and we should stop searching for one.
Same here, I'll be 40 next year and I'm still deciding if I want a puppy.
Well step children are a way to have children so, God bless
9:32
I'm childfree and so is my husband. It's even better if you can be stepchild-free!
What’s wrong with women not having a family or children at 50??? Nothing.
What is the point of being a human who could bear life within themselves and shape the lives of the next generation, if you aren't going to use it? For some, it was the greatest gift given to them and they chose whatever else because it wasn't convenient.
Children are a GOOD. Raising the next generation in a GOOD way is a GOOD thing. It should be a top priority to participate in that. It would be much more fulfilling then chasing things like power and wealth which are not ends in themselves but only means to other ends. Things which are hardly required for happiness (quite the opposite in NA society).
@@andrewheakes244so the point of female life is bearing children? Everything else „good“ doesn’t really matter? You can see how that thought is absolutely in line with patriarchal thought since millennia.
Exactly! It would be selfish if we have children and we cannot taking care of them physically and emotionally.
@@thinkbig5438 So advocating to give life itself and children their due is oppressive? I think it is obvious if we look at the order of nature that women have a role in shaping the next generation. When it is clearly cut out in nature as it is, it becomes a duty of those who are called to it, surely more than 49% of women. Coming up with my own system of values and morals is above my pay grade. It seems like the way things have been for millennia (or time immemorial) is ordered to life itself. Does it mean things can't be different? NO of course not, things have to change. But not in such a way that cuts off our reproductive organs. Life itself is the greatest gift one can receive or give, we must keep it that way.
Biology.
as SWM 68 looking back, I'm glad I never married or had kids, I grew up with 5 siblings, money was tight, and I promised myself I would never endure the chaos of family life again, at 20 I got hit with ulcerative colits, this ruined all my life plans, I became a librarian, had to retire at 56 due to colon cancer, lucky to be alive now, there was never enough money, time, or health for me to create a family --I'm where I'm supposed to be be now
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
22 years of education and in the last year of my PhD in STEM field, I realized I was missing a big time
My husband and I decided to have a child despite it being a very bad timing for me. But I realized the "right time" never seem to come. There is always something more to do, a paper more to publish, one more internship to go to, look for job post graduation, get the job and try to promote your rank as a newbie to get a fair salary, try harder because now you have even more responsibilities at hand in a senior role, etc, etc. I just figured I have to just draw the "stop" line somewhere and get back to my life. Now two months pregnant and I feel I just opened a new chapter in my life. I am scared, that is true. In my field, a few years away from market means you lose all your value, you turn into a useless old car. I have thousands of doubts about my future as a career woman, but one thing I never doubt; I am not gonna regret this. I just wish world was a bit kinder to women like me who decide to juggle the heck out of this seemingly "lose-lose" game.
Good luck. That is not an easy decision. I truly hope it works out for you ❤️
It's very commendable to take the route that to me, appears the more difficult one. You've done well, but every choice has a sacrifice.
You made the right decision. I had my first child at 35 and second at 37- they bring more joy and meaning to my life that I have never imagined was possible. I have experienced an unexpected renaissance in my midlife.
@@lucydoe1334 Glad it worked it out for you :)
I don't think there is a special brand of cruelty for women who prioritize children, it is just the reality of economics. Everyone wants to get the most productivity they can manage.
Men become 'disposable' and lose value in a workforce too. But because we can abuse our bodies for a longer period of time, it is different.
Its clear that human beings suck at BALANCE... Cultures constantly tip too far one way or too far the other way.
Look forward to seeing the full interview. Excellent visual and audio quality!
My g✌🏾🇳🇬
The societal momentum is hard to recognize before it’s to late.
@Ram Rod Its called "Sheit Testing" at the global level
That would require critical thought, which most people lack. That's why cultural institutions are so important, because people will mindlessly follow it
Its because we are only meant to be in a small community of 25-50 humans. That's when there is balance. Technology more so social media has flat out turned the scale upside down.
My peace is my priority. Not my career. And my peace does not include children. And if it does not include men, then it doesn't include men. And that's none of anyone's business.
My goodness.
"my peace does not include children" that.... just all of that
@@nope19568 it's the hard truth 🤷🏻♀️ not everyone is meant to be a parent. Yet those people have kids and raise them poorly, then everybody complains about people having trauma or doing wrong things, when truly their behaviour issues come from bad parenting for the most of them, but people aren't ready for this discussion.
Bad parenting has a lot more repercussions than bad education, that's why parenting is hard : it takes you to be emotionally secured, financially stable and in a relationship that allows your kids to make mistakes, get dirty and learn properly. If you can't fathom giving this environment for your kid to grow up in, don't act surprised if they act up, they had little to no chance to grow up as a balanced and responsible adult. That's why a lot of our generation are kinda childish and don't wanna take responsibility for what they do, they weren't taught that as kids. They didn't have great role models as parents, therefore they can't cope properly with what is being thrown at them. Of course they could learn by themselves, but parents should teach them resilience, patience, forgiveness and focus. They have to learn the hard way, but the hard ways needs to be secured by parents. They should be their safety net if they fall, and my parents generation, they ain't it. I'm 26, and people say I'm selfish for saying that, but I ain't the one who split up my marriage cause my parents couldn't stay faithful to each other. "Life happens" yes it does, and it damages kids more than adults. How are you supposed to raise kids properly when you weren't properly raised and surrounded by good people in the first place ? See what I mean ?
You will regret not having children or a man, it's not natural to not have a family the body calls us too it. And when you're old and lonely with no family will see how much peace you have. Don't wait too long start a family!
@@blesstalks your cult isolationist mentality is showing, people like me and her can have friends you know, maybe some siblings who also genuinely care for us, neices, nephews, you dont need a nuclear family for happiness regardless of what your cult preaches, go look at r/regretfulparents and tell me how happy they are with your supposed ideal situation thatd lead to nothing but true joy
I had my first child at 21 years old, my second at 26 and I hope having one or two more before I hit 35. Being a mom is the best thing I experienced in my life, this is my full time job
Same here. It's an amazing life to watch your little love bugs learn and become their own people.
This is lovely ❤
Rich people can do whatever they want with zero consequences. Is hard for them to understand the strugles of normal folks
@@AnaSchultz-kx9tq what are you talking about ?
you look like you like to get pregnant lol@@mrsraven9169
As a single mother if it were not for my career I would have been homeless as having a child is expensive. Unfortunately for me I bought into the concept that my husband would stay and provide for us, which now I realise was delusional. A woman should be financially independent.
That is the best point out of the motherhood conversation. All women should be financially independent before getting married and having kids, society today is not conducive to stay at home parents
exactly and all these men fighting for old gender roles are delusional
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 It was always broken
@@lukegibson9410 Wait so are you saying if i make a child with a woman and then just fuck off, its the womans fault alone?
@@Swiss_Cynic yes, that's what he's saying. with the rise in gender equality also comes a rise in subjugation. a lot of men are extremely insecure and triggered by the fact that women are empowered to do what they want now instead of being forced to get married and become baby factory live-in maids. let's just hope society continues to slide in the direction of equality rather than back into female slavery.
I am mature enough to know that I have no desire to have or raise children. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with me, I just choose that for myself.
BS.
@@paulb7207get a life Paul
I never wanted a career and only really wanted to be married and have kids. However, I only wanted kids if I were married. Since marriage never happened because I got tired of dating broke, bipolar college dropouts. I never had kids but developed a career as a paralegal. At least I focused on having a loving relationship with my niece, nephews and great nieces and nephews. I finally think it is too late for me to get married now that I am 59. Oh well, I'd rather fail at getting married than fail at being married.
That’s precisely why NOT EVERY woman can be married and having kids in a society. There’re plenty of addicts, abusers, men who don’t want family and are not paternal, cheaters, commitment phobes, etc. Before most women were married because they had to endure the abusive husbands or bad fathers anyway.
Maybe my parents had too good of a marriage because I really want a great man like my dad. He was 1 in a million.
Also, once I updated my dating profile to say that I'm a breast cancer survivor, all interest stopped. Oh, well. I was just trying to be honest on my dating profile and now I have nothing to show for it.
Weird how its always about guilt tripping women and no accountability for men
ALWAYS
Missed the target.
To any woman reading this and is already offended, watch the full video and understand
How did you conclude that from this video?
Well because it simply is womens responsibility and it is true. And if you feel guilty about that well probably because its true and when you did something wrong or had bad priorities in your life then you should accept the fact and take the consequences. But its easier to say its not my fault but someone elses. I see many young women acting like they should stay young forever.. they hit the wall and yay another single childless 30s. Thats just fact.
It's ridiculous for any man (or woman) to tell someone they will regret not having kids. I never wanted kids and neither did my husband of almost 20 years. We are perfectly happy world travelers. I'm not going to have kids just in case I need someone to take care of me the last few years of my life. Most Americans don't take care of their parents, this is evident in the overcrowded nursing homes.
Preach. The way I see it, they are bitter about having kids themselves and that's why they trying to use shame/fear to guilt childfree people into having kids. They cant stand seeing childfree people living their life they want. Ever noticed how their comments often come off as condescending too like their words must be correct and factual even though statistics shown otherwise?
@@renek2913 - You think people without kids don't sound bitter? Often justifying their existence with vapid materialism. Making little jabs about all the extra sleep they get without kids. Making cope arguments about how kids are no guarantee of anything. Calling parents selfish that they would expect their kids reciprocate care to them in old age. As if these same childless hypocrites won't be relying on parents with kids to look after them in nursing homes.
@@ThermicLightthey never said that lol. no need to make a whole paragraph bc ur upset
@@nekesa6429 - Oh please as if there wasn't self righteous indignance written all over their comment. No one is forcing you to read a whole paragraph lol. If your attention span struggles to go that far then maybe move on to something vapid to your liking. 🤗
My mother never wanted children but had them because of society. I’ve been in therapy for 10 plus years, to deal with my CPTSD because of the abuse I suffered as my mother resented my very existence. Please don’t have kids unless you want them. I know the pain of being a child of a woman who had a kid just to have a kid for society sake.
This should be pinned. Many women did NOT want children. They had them because it was the next “step” . Then the child(ren) are abandoned emotionally and mentally. Then men pretend to not know about the neglect because they aren’t being a present parent either. I commend you for taking the necessary steps to ensure your own well being 💜✨
amen
Exactly!!! People should only have kids if they really want to have kids and can provide for their kids❤
Same unfortunately x
Would you rather have never existed?
Hmmm. I was raised being told that there was nothing more important than me putting my uterus to work and to do that by getting married young. NO ONE TOLD ME about the suicidal and homicidal thoughts. No one told me I should’ve had money set aside for mental health therapy and pelvic floor therapy. No one told me about the INSANE costs of formula if your baby can’t breastfeed. No one told me that I’d be better off having graduated college first and becoming financially stable with a job that has maternity leave would be SO much better. No one told me the dangers of sleep deprivation or that I should’ve had a village in place or that I should’ve taken my fertility more seriously. That bringing a baby into this world is hard and important work and that they didn’t ask for naive and unequipped parents. It is our job to bring our babies into a loving and stable household but no. That is not what I was taught. I was taught to not give these things any thought because god would provide. Guess fucking what. They didn’t. Me and my husband provided and have learned our lessons. We’ll be raising our son to be a helluva a lot more responsible because that is our job!!!
Woman finds out life is not easy
@@lonzolotto man finds out that he can’t control woman by using his alter ego (the god he made up). Has a meltdown on the internet lmao.
So grateful for my child that I had at 24. Thirty years later he is the reason for my success. Inspired to do better and do more because of him.
I am 58 now but had my first child at 33, second at 38. I didn’t get the message that my career was the most important thing. It was more that “you better have a way of supporting yourself in case something happens to your husband, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed”. The economy was very rough for people my age and we ended up slacking and then grad school until things got better. Which they did. But the other internal urgency was that I wanted to make sure I had stability in my life before Bringing kids into the world. Finally, it was vitally important to me to have children and practice selflessness to raise them. Have to say it was not about patriarchy.
Adding: just because you’re a woman does not make you a natural for mothering. Some of us logical women have to work up to it .
can you please tell some advice to have kids at 38. Did you take vitamins or just live and let nature do the job or went under special care to get pregnant quickly?
@@alejandrarios4290 nothing special really. Think I had to lose some weight because we tried the year before without success. So, lost maybe 20 lb and then did the usual procreative sex. Lol
@@alejandrarios4290 every doctor tells you to just have regular sex. apparently regular sex every week for two years increases your chances by around 90%
You sound very smart and cautious :)
@@leedlbagginshield8492 thanks - you would be right about that. A lot of women my age delayed children. We all had to raise ourselves and didn’t want to do that to the next generation
Why isn’t he worried about the amount of childless males at this age? It takes both to have kids.
Men don't become naturally infertile with age, unlike women.
Because men can father a child at an older age. Women can’t really do that so it puts time constraints on them whereas men are not under that same kind of pressure.
@@outdoorsman909 if a man has a child at age 60 he will only be around for a very short time in that child’s life, if a man has a child any older, he will likely die when that child is a teenager and not be there to raise him
@@outdoorsman909 men shouldn’t have kids past 35. Not only do men die younger than women there’s also increased risk of them having children with disabilities such as Down syndrome, etc.
@@marianakalfigervi6024 women have a small fertility window for healthy natural pregnancy. Biologically from mid teens until 35, socially accepted from 18 until 35, otherwise miscarriages, autism, disability, and ADHD become risk factors for the child as they develop in the womb due to declining fertility in a woman.
Besides professional success of women, I think we should also mention the role men play in all this. If we as professional women are alone, is also because we do not find appropriate partners to build a life with and who value more superficial relationships and the "influencer"-type of women (sorry for the stereotype but is all interconnected). It is also the impact of relationships nowadays on human beings and their capacity to build a family. I'm in my early thirties and have never felt safe enough with a man to build a family (even though I would like to). Every experience is more traumatising and deceives me even more. Not sure if it's a good idea to bring a kid to the world in such circumstances.
You can't say you are successful if you don't procreate. According to Nature, weak genes don't survive.
You never found the right guy because you have been looking in all the wrong places. He got married in his early 20s. Most 30 year old men not married are honestly the one's you don't want. Pretty sure you are living a self fulfilling prophecy. I hope you find whatever makes you happy in life.
It's a 2 way street. I've yet to be with a woman that I would trust to actually be a decent mother. Most women are mentally, physically and sexually abusive. Not to mention most I met would desire to pawn their kids off on public schools while they pretend to be a worker. While often being lazy and counter productive at work.
I gave up on having kids with women who want to be fathers.
Here in Mexico women have children and the most majority don’t leave work, they still manage but, at full time. What I see is that a lot of 30+ of my generation are choosing not having children are more and more. Besides, the financial and real state price of everything is a big problem. Why would anyone bring a child to the world if you can’t have them all they need, time, space, etc? I think not having children in this economy could be an act of responsibility. Other excuses such as: “you are not alone when you are old” are false. Life is so unpredictable. You can born a child with a rare disease that’ll die young. You can born someone that, despite all your efforts, chooses to not be part of your life. In that case, you’ll have to have a bunch of kids to ensure that statement. I won’t say it doesn’t help. In my house we are 4 brothers and sisters and that has been a lot of help in times of need, but times change…
My God... if women didn't want to have babies before watching this video they are going to be less likely to now. Shiver.
having Kids are waste of time and energy, do job till your 70 and then have fun with retirement 👍
. I’m 32 and my mother had me at 40. She tells me I have plenty of time to conceive. I am not sure I want a child but I also wouldn’t put it completely off the table with my partner. I feel like he’s putting the fear of god into me when I watch these videos.
@@tessamarie8698 What you said makes no sense, why would women be paid more just because they're women?
Yep. The more I watched this type of content the more I become certain children are not for me. I’ve always been vigilant about birth control and looking into being sterilised. Would love to hear his wife’s perspective. Its easy to want kids when you don’t get pregnant, give birth or have to give up your career.
@@fi-train8961well the overarching point of these videos is that eventually the shiny career kinda loses it's novelty and appeal. And when that inevitably happens for some women, they find it's too late to turn back the clock. It's not pleasant and I don't wish that on anybody. Some ppl truly aren't for the parenting life. Either way, know yourself.
“Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too.” - Mark Twain
I was force fed that i must want a carrer and that raising kids was a lowly position. I was told that if my ambition was to be a mom and raise kids that was a lazy, lowly, stupid choice.
Beautiful quote. The question then becomes how do you as an individual define your own ambitions and your own greatness? From a very young age, I was discouraged from dating, discouraged from getting married, discouraged from having children... by people who genuinely cared about me and thought they were helping me. I love to work and I don't think I could ever be fully satisfied staying home and raising a family, but many many women are and I definitely think it is a worthwhile aim to pursue if you can be fulfilled by it. But by the same token, I don't think I could ever be 100% satisfied with my life if I pursued only my career and never had a family. My marriage is the most fundamentally important thing in my life, and now that I am pregnant with my first child, I already feel my priorities shifting. I cannot imagine ever intentionally choosing not to have this child or this family, even if it meant giving up my career. Luckily, I found a man to be my partner in life who wants nothing more in the world than to stay home and care for our children so I can continue to pursue my higher education and my career.
the problem is a good chunk of really successful people were REALLY lucky. And then they have the nerve to say, just do your best and you'll be successful too, when they themselves just got there by chance.
@@jebes909090 yap, that's true. Having the right ideas and being smart you can still get stuck in a lot of places
i really like that quote. it's short, yet so clear and important
With a mere 8 billion people on Earth, this is a crisis situation.
yep totally gonna cause extinction within the next 24 hours best prepare
It’s a real challenge in the world today to build a family.
Finding a good man that hasn’t been destroyed by a narcissist,
Finding a steady income to support a family with,
Finding a safe place to raise a family in,
and finally finding all that in the shrinking window that is fertility nowadays.
I’m not saying it can’t be done but this world is decreasing the chances everyday.
I'm honestly sick of this argument. Do you think your parents had it easier? Or their parents? The more you go back in time the worse things were, yet still people were having children, and many too. Hell, my grandparents had 6 children starting from when they were younger than 20. During a time of war and unrest. I'm not american.
Everybody is waiting for the "perfect time" to have kids and I have no idea where this notion came from. Ask every parent and they will tell you, no time is ever perfect and you're never ready. It's just something you do and hope for the best. Hopeful risktaking has really declined in modern culture, everyone's always putting things on hold to wait for the perfect opportunity, perfect person, etc. Jeez...
@@dead7781
My ancestors weren’t facing potential extinction due to global warming. 😋
@@LucareonVee No but they where facing things arguably worse. World Wars, nuclear fallouts, economic chaos, famine, disease without any modern medicine, etc.
And honestly, your solution to global warming is to have less/no children? How is that gonna solve anything? This just goes to show how easily people today just want to quit. Instead of thinking of solutions on how to solve these problems, like so many bright minds are, most just want to give up. "Screw it, I'm not gonna have children".
But nobody is quitting because it's the "right thing to do", it's all just an excuse to be selfish and lazy. Every person I've met who speaks like this spends most of their time working meaningless jobs, drinking themselves to death on their free time, play video games the whole day, and just being incredibly useless. "There's no point in being productive if the world is ending. Let's just be nihilistic and give up on humanity. Let's just engage in hedonism, even if it's making us miserable deep down". Give me a break...
@@LucareonVee😅 tell em
@@LucareonVee they were facing invading armies which is an actual threat.
What about childhood trauma? Women aren't expected to have kids young and those with trauma might be delaying it or choosing not too. Society needs to be talking about child abuse and healing trauma.
Society insists on having kids young so you don't come to your senses and realize that having kids is for society's benefit, only. No one asks to be born.
We've got overflowing prisons to prove pregnancy is a joke to most!!
Exactly very good point of view.
50.1% got trauma? 😐
You’re talking about a minority not the rule
I'm a woman quite happily working an average paid job and living childfree. My life is very peaceful and quiet. I spend a lot of time outdoors and at the gym. It's just me and my dog and that's how I like it. I have no regrets. I'm 34 and I can honestly say I'm in my happy place 😌
Well wish you the best but come let us know how it is at 45 lol
@@WideHarryCock It's not always what you believe. At 45, I was able to feel whole again after an unimaginable divorce. I had to rebuild my life from scratch after she took everything. For those that can make it work, I salute you. For those that say - thanks, but no thanks - I salute you, too.
Bingo. Me too. Every year that goes by without kids I’m happier. 43 now. Living the dream.
@@WideHarryCock lol I’m nearly 44 and literally happier than I was at 34, when I first decided I didn’t want kids. These guys are totally invested in proving that women aren’t happy without kids…so weird. And I could care less about a career-life isn’t about that either. Always March to the beat of your own drummer!! ✨✨✨🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Let's see how you're doing in 20 years and then 20 more after that.
I’m fearful of pregnancy since my mom explained it to me when I was 6 (27 now).
The thought of having something growing inside me for 9 months, then having to be pushed out of a small cavity is insane. Then add the risks, the pregnancy symptoms etc. hell no.
Is it natural? Yes. Is it normal? Also yes.
Why would I want someone to experience that pain? It’s brutal.
Narcissist.
You have issues if you think of reproduction this way. You're just selfish. Now your society will fall as a result of you.
If you want a child but not be pregnant, you can have one via surrogacy. Seems a lot of female celebs are doing this now. If I had chosen to have kids I would've needed to do that because of injuries sustained in a car accident. But I decided not to have kids for several other reasons.
@@lvega5606 it’s the same thing for me. I don’t want anyone to experience it, it’s painful in my eyes. It’s okay if someone else wants it, but coming for me, not that much.
But I know there is the adoption route, that would make me feel better, even if most men don’t like adoption
@@ROForeverMan how
I totally understand what he is saysing. I work @ nursing homes & the childless or forgotten, if they don’t have their mental facuties about they are lost, the only thing that saves them is money. No one comes to see them, no happy holidays or even a birthday balloon, unless the staff buys it for them.
😅 I took care of old people for 6 years. The kids of these old people barely came to see them.
@@historiqueafricaine1225 Exactly why people should be ok with being alone. Family members move away, die or focus on their own lives. If people are having kids just so they won't be alone when they're old. Than they're in for a big surprise when that time comes.
Not all old people were great parents. My in laws made it clear they had no intention of “babysitting my children” because they “had other things they planned to do with their retirement.” My MIL’s exact words, (a feminist) after inviting me to “tea” shortly after I was married. Do you think I have any interest in caring for them in old age? Though I have. And I am angry that I did so much.
My MIL is still living, and I will visit her in the home, but if her own kids won’t-and they won’t!-it will not weigh on me. Goodness!! Our society is broken.
But also our society isn't a child rearing society it's a work work work society. It's too fast paced and expensive to live.
And yet, the greedy, corrupt elites still expect people - tired from work and with little or no money due to bills & debt - to have children. To breed more slaves so their high Babylon towers can go higher while the poor souls will get crushed under the massive weight.
And if they refuse to breed, the elites will simply import immigrants from the Third World - indeed, they prefer immigrants as they see them as an endless supply of cheap labor (even though fertility rates are also declining in the Third World as more people get educated and are lifted out of poverty).
@@PedroOrtega1993 It's truly absurd.
@@kw5961 Yes. It goes to show how out of touch with reality those rich fools are and we - the simple folk who merely want to live a peaceful life - have to pay the price for their corrupt arrogance.
@GhillieWorm I would rather have Yellowstone erupt or a comet impact (even one as big as the dinosaur killer) than to let society keep on going downward and downward - they are trying to make pedophilia a "legal science" for crying out loud!
@@PedroOrtega1993 the real scary thing Pedro the Global Elites who run us ? they don't need 7.7 billion people to rule this planet they can easily lose 7.2 Billion and would be fine with just half a billion people so they are not worried about Population decline they will always have enough supply of cheap labor
Does Jordan Peterson ask fatherless men in their late 20's and 30 the same question? Does he ask single men who are childless at 50 if they are truly happy?
I hope so. Theyw ould happily say how they shouldn't have kids. Antinatalism for the win.
Men can still have children at that age it's very hard for women to. It's not the same, once women make the decision there is no going back.It's a trade off for both sexes. The lie is it's an option later.He's speaking from personal experience and observation.
@@thaneknight so women in the late 20s and 30s can't have children? Maybe this is an American thing. My mom had 3 healthy kids between 34-40. She was too fertile and prayed to God not to have more.
@@holyempressw8531I'm very happy to hear your mother had three successful pregnancies later in life. If you choose not to have children and change your mind when you're older;it reduces the chances of having children.It's not personal no one is speaking in absolutes. It's not a "cant" only a probably not.Male fertility also drops past a certain age these are just realities.
Of course not
My husband and I decided not to have children and it was the right decision for us. We both have thriving careers but did not choose our careers over children. We thoughtfully confirmed we did not want to experience being parents. It is hard work and I highly respect those who dedicate themselves to being good parents. Instead of having children, we spend our time volunteering in various activities that have meaning for us. We enjoy our child-free home environment. That should be Ok, just like it’s OK to choose to have children regardless if you are married or not. It should simply be everyone’s right to know what they want and not be socially criticized for that decision.
Hope your careers keep your soul warm.
Jesus, you two sound so utterly self-centered.
@@ROForeverMan why are you so judgmental because someone made a different choice than you? You must not really be happy with your choice and are projecting.
@@ampa4989 and you sound utterly close minded and judgmental because some people don’t want your life.
@@jjkatz You just don't know what love is.
Nothing wrong with not wanting children. Some people know they aren't responsible enough, or they have other reasons. Maybe something runs in their family that they don't want to chance passing along. Whatever the reason, that's fine.
So then don't complain about why your country is taking too many immigrants from different cultural backgrounds who don't want to assimilate.😂
@@johanandersson5875 I don't
I’m a woman who doesn’t have kids & doesn’t want kids. I know & have met a lot of women who are also childless by choice & plan to stay that way. It’s got nothing to do with career/work, there are a million other reasons too long to list here.
Nope you clearly need to dedicate your life to a man and have all the children. Jordan Peterson just told you, he is very smart. He says stuff and you just know it's right, even if the sentence makes no sense, or is completely out of context, and is filled with presuppositions of what all women are lied to about.
I just made the same comment as you. Every discussion on this topic seems to imply women make this decision for career purposes.
All of the women I know that are childless didn't make this decision for their careers.
Peterson says the same thing in every interview on this topic
That's your choice and that's perfectly fine, you probably have some good reasons.
But I have asked two women why they want to remain childless and it more or less boils down to their disdain for men.
They had a bad dad or ex-boyfriend and they extrapolate that experience to all men.
I definitely feel this when dating women, where I'm a bad person by default. I eventually give up trying to form a connection with these women because they are so guarded and pessimistic. The experience is not fun.
I want to point out also that economic status isn't really a good reason considering places like Sweden has the most safety nets and yet they have even less children. It shows that regardless of a good economic situation women still wouldn't have children.
Women having less children is probably more of a multifaceted cause including obesity, pharmaceuticals, and culture.
@@AnelaEllaEh 95% of men do accept that. We're not making you do anything. It's just a shame that you use your newfound education, wealth, and equity all for yourselves instead of the next generation (something men cannot do without women). It's just human nature to be selfish and that's 100% understandable. But the tragedy is, it's 100% morally accepted.
Women need to prepare for their own change of heart. There are some women that do living happily every after without children. But, the majority eventually change their mind. Women who have prepared for the possibility of changing their mind are better of if it does happen.
I honestly just think that it is a combination of life being less and less affordable and the fact that more and more people are coming to the realization that having and raising kids isn't the end all be all goal of a fulfilling life.
It never was. People just had no birth control, hence the high number of pregnancies.
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 so ban birth control
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 exactly people act like everyone wanted to have tons of kids before but there was barely any choice for most people given their was no birth control
@@fi-train8961 and you forget that a lotta people just go along to get along. peer pressured to have a family.
Well what happens when there isn't enough young people to support the retired population?
They have made the society so expensive and then they blame us ?? How dare they
Who is they? Or you voted democrats or the left in to make it more expensive?
@@kingsolomega
Honey, the Reaganites are responsible for that. I’d rather the democrats be a true left wing party and actually tax the rich arses, but better than the republican fks. 😘
@@kingsolomega they is the people in power , I'm not interested in party politics who ever comes should work for people and society ...
Well there is no sense in complaining about the problem if you not interested in the solution, the reason for the problem is, or what caused the problem. People can say should all they want to, it’s insanity to keep doing the exact same thing and expecting a different result!
Doesn’t always have anything to do with a “Career”. Has to do with personal choice and the actual true desire to have kids or not have kids.
In my country (🇫🇮) It's expensive to have a baby. Most women now get children after turning 30, because we want to have a good education and career, so we can support our children in the best possible way.
It’s not because your country is expensive or something. It’s because the culture in your country is broken to such an extent that you all put career over life. There is no such thing as expensive to have babies. By your logic, people in the global south would stop reproduction altogether.
Too expensive because when you have women competing for mass jobs with men then society waters down a single parent incomes power so both spouses must work to be above poverty and kids are then not possible or are raised by electronic devices, left to their own, gangs and then we are surprised when they grow up warped or school shooters….
@@neerand there's nothing wrong in having babies after 30. Women want to go to school too, so what? We want a good career to support our families.
@@gidi7663 It’s not wrong. But that doesn’t mean it is right too. I am not blaming your country alone. Sorry If I made bad choice of words. But the whole life we all are living irrespective of countries is to some extent similar and most of us are pursuing a materialistic life. I am also a victim of such mindset. We all have been informed that career should be the first priority when the process of procreation at the right time should be our top priority. During our late 20s and whole 30s, we think we could conquer the world if we make the right career move. But things go south when we hit 30s and life seems so late and we tend to run against the time. The whole career thing and the life process is so upside down that many of us are suffering from all kind of depression in one way or the other.
@Número uno indeed
I find Japan fascinating in this sense. Due to their cultures emphasis on education, they're about a decade or two ahead of us when it comes to this issue. Herbivore men didn't just appear from thin air, they were reaction to broad society changes.
You're already beginning to see the same thing in the west. Women, generally speaking, don't date down, so in order to compete with, and outpace, women who are make the same as, or in some cases even more than, them men need to put in even more time and effort. A lot of younger men just don't want to sink 70-80 hours a week into work just to pull in a marginally higher paycheque, all for the sake of getting a girlfriend or wife they'll never see because they're too busy working.
@@starrisesky dont bring rich celebrities into this. They don't have the same constraints as 99% of the other people
@@starrisesky Clearly this is a general rule, also if you marry before you carry this is usually not a problem.
@@starrisesky Which is why it's so rare for women to date down. There are a few exceptions of course, there is to practically everything, but it holds true for the vast majority.
Should probably also make a distinction between casual dating and a committed relationship.
Dating down means less education and financial earnings, statistically, black women date down at high rates. Anecdotally I have seen bw date/marry down and end up single mothers. Even though I love Chris Williamson's podcast I think there is definitely a cultural aspect of the show that does not include women like myself. I do not think the answer to the childless problem is asking women to date down.
Ye what is the point in having kids and family if i cant be with them
I support any men or woman that want to stay child free ! Good for you 👍
😎🍻
2 men discussing women’s issues… groundbreaking.
Outside perspectives, especially when educated and experienced, can often be more accurate than any other.
I can tell by the fact it actually discusses the issue instead of talking in circles.
It’s also getting more difficult for couples to get pregnant due to endocrine disrupting compounds in our daily lives.
@@just_me6392 tons.
@@just_me6392 Andrew Huberman is probably a good start for literature. He has podcasts on TH-cam that you can watch and learn a lot from.
Not only that but due to many plastics and other chemicals getting into our foods certain health issues are becoming more common. Testosterone levels has been abnormally dropping for years. Lots of stress out on people decreases fertility in both sexes
@@just_me6392 Infertility rate is increasing drastically on the Imperial core, don't know why that is the case but the decrease of testosrone is in effect as well.
I think the birth control they give a lot of women is going to accidentally make like 25% of them barren. You should read the side effects of those arm implants they get. I was worried for the future of like every girlfriend I’ve ever had.
The cost of living is skyrocketing - I need to pay food, shelter, car, etc. The current cost of raising a child to 18 is $250,000. Facts.
If that were true, we would not have been able to raise our family! Our children did not add to our fixed expenses of shelter, utilities, transportation, and insurance in such a way that we could not live on one income. We lived frugally (not a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses lifestyle) and contentedly. It is more challenging now for families, but it can still be done.
Any comment that ends with "Facts" is a lie.
If a man wants something that is outside of his reach, he asks the following from himself:
_"How can_ *I* _make this happen?"_
and then he does it.
@@roberth4395 It's too tiring for most, that is why,and most don't actually seem to really want it.
@@kaletovhangar do men want to die in wars to protect women who do not even care about them?
How about your country's military deserts and stop protecting you, because they would preffer to spend their energy on shopping for clothes, putting on clown paint on their face and just go out to party?
@@sdlorah6450 Exactly. If you expect to drive a new car and have a 1000+ dollar iPhone every year, kids aren't going to be possible. That doesn't mean it can't be done.
How do you call that phenomenon? Manexplaining? 😂😂😂 Please let us what we think and want. Besides the fact that we need more than two minimum wages to survive, it's hard to find stability and we learnt from the past that we better wait to find a better man to build a family instead of funding a family with the first man that says I love you. There many many reasons but you know, a man knows more than we do
As a woman who does not have kids and is about to turn 30, i didnt meet someone who I could trust to raise children with until recently. I come from a divorced household, and i always swore i would only get married once.
Raise better men, and maybe women wouldnt have to be so particular.
Quality men are in the same predicament, unfortunately. Best of luck out there.
AMEN.
typical woman blaming everybody else but herself ... if you are not taken by your 30s its because you have some serious problem in yo head sis
@@johnnyhun1ever heard of circumstances? you're a blockhead
Unfortunately, my husband and I are infertile. We've tried to conceive for 11.5 years. I have a sister and lots of friends over 30 in the same boat. Many of us started trying in our early to mid twenties. 1 in 6 couples are infertile. So while some of this is caused by people choosing not to have children, there is also a rise in infertility.
What country are you from?
@@honkhonk6443 USA
Did you take hormonal birth control throughout your teen years? Are you vegan? Not asking to be offensive. Asking out of genuine curiosity. I'm so sorry that you're in this position. I can't even imagine.
I would go to a Traditional Chinese Medicine practice and see what they can do for you. They have herbs and acupressure that can help with infertility.
Not to be glib, but if you're wanting kids, there are plenty of opportunities for adoption and tax and other governmental benefits to help with costs.
Some of us know we would not be good mothers, some of us have mental illness and other struggles so it would definitely not be healthy or smart to bring a child into the world. Secondly, relationships are not what they used to be. Men and women no longer value long-lasting relationships anymore, with the rise of hookup culture it has taught us to treat relationships like flavors we can pick and choose from when in reality none of us are exactly easy to love. It takes real work and commitment to make things work, even in the best of relationships.
I could be a good mother even with my personal trauma and challenges. I just don’t want to spend 18+ years of my life living round someone else’s clock. I can’t even stick in a job for too long. I didn’t choose to be born so I just want to experience life for myself through my eyes at my pace with all my senses without worrying someone is depending on me and my choices ✍🏻
Children have an amazing ability to force people to grow up and be less selfish because someone else relies on you to live.
One of the major issues in modern western culture is that we value being young and free with no responsibilities and, ultimately no limits/hedonism. I look fondly on my youth, but as a 40 year old father of two with a loving wife; my life is infinitely better and I’m a better, more responsible person (and thus better for society) than when I was in my 20s.
We need to encourage all parties to be more personally responsible with our choices in life, and get people to grow up.
@@lt.2992 at least you're honest about being selfish.
@@BENR8108 not always... plenty of selfish and useless parents out there...
Yup.. people never recognise there is alternate to incel.. femcel. Annoying that always incels get the heat and femcels are forgotten. 😔
The big oppressive lie women were told was that the only meaningful thing in their lives were their husband, children and family.
spoken like a true feminist....Enjoy your self-centered life....hope it brings you great happiness and love in your life...
When you chose to get married, that is what it is, you AND your husband’s lives center around your family, till death do you part. If you buy into this Feminist rhetoric, then spare people the grief and avoid ever getting married and having children.
Who was ever told that?
Our entire culture claims the opposite.