Is Modern Dating Failing Men Or Women? - Jordan Peterson?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
- Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - 7 Ha...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson explains what he meant by Enforced Monogamy. What does Jordan Peterson think about the modern dating market? Is enforced monogamy dangerous? Is the manosphere and Red Pill helping men? How does Jordan Peterson give relationship advice? What does Jordan Peterson think is the best strategy for a happy marriage?
#jordanpeterson #dating #enforcedmonogamy
-
Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - modernwisdom.locals.com/
Listen to all episodes on audio:
Apple Podcasts: apple.co/2MNqIgw
Spotify: spoti.fi/2LSimPn
-
Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
Instagram: / chriswillx
Twitter: / chriswillx
Email: chriswillx.com/contact/
Watch the full episode here - th-cam.com/video/laSK7Pxh0_8/w-d-xo.html
Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books - chriswillx.com/books/
You should do an episode about love... or the misconstruction of love by nowadays societies. Or even if the concept is based upon/derives from the (mis)concept of monogamy
By the way.. I'm a huge fan from Portugal
It is not that the "state" should; it is that China will.
No thanks, platforming a misogynist is, as jordy would say, abhorrent.
@@burnttoast8646 What? Not enough context. Who is a misogynist? And Jordy? As in from startrek?
Cheating is almost expected when dating within my age group and I just turned 21. Cheating is a giving and people are not even trying to put shame on it anymore but rather heavyweight is put on the one being cheated on to understand the nuances of infidelity in relationships. It sets me off.
On the point.
Women become equal and non dependent on males. The girls then think that means have more sex when it ment they don't have to have sex nowdays becouae they have too
I feel for You young guys, not that it's different for me now, but it sure was different 10 years ago, people still had some chill and it was normal to use your brain in more ways than just to obtain material goals. Being mean was frowned upon and genuine empathy still had value..
Kinda like how people say girls are told to wear decent clothes to not get sexually harassed/r4p3d instead of shaming people for sexually harassing/r4p1ng. (Not to say that people don't already shame ppl for it which is good).
@@jasoli1749 not the same thing. One is a form of prevention the other is an act committed but blame put on the victim. You’re responsible to some extent to have your safety above all. You would make more sense if you equated blaming a victim of r4pe and sexual assault rather than the aggressor to my comment.
Here's my 3 cents on cheating.
1. Dont cheat.
2. If you're going to cheat, don't do it.
3. If you're actually going to cheat while you're in a relationship, then break off the relationship first and then cheat. But then that means any actions henceforth will not be considered cheating, which again brings me back to my first 2 points.
DON'T FUCKING CHEAT !!!
ok, what if you are married and your wife cut off your sex, so you can't go anywhere and she will divorce you and take the kids, home and everything you own?
@@rakashaagain 1. Dont marry.
2. If you're going to marry, don't do it.
3. If you're actually going to marry talk to a lawyer in order to sign papers so yours is yours and hers is hers, as for the children I'm of the belief that they should be with their mother as long as she is not abusive / crazy/alcoholic-drugs, and the father can most of the time come to visit or take the kids for vacation, weekends etc.
@ibis are not bin chickens! lol, yea do that and come back to me in a couple of yers
@@DarkecoJak100 marry the right person dude
@Christian Lopez this.
Ive never cheated on a woman. I saw how it hurt my mother, and any good son wouldn’t want to go out and replicate that pain. Its just awful to do to someone whos all about you.
it will go well on you in your blue pilled world. good luck.
Good luck finding a woman all about you
@@obiron2099 already have. Getting married. You okay???
@@mrwolf-jk3wg hopefully you truly got lucky. Best wishes in the future!
@@mrwolf-jk3wg you shouldn't get married.
Rewarding stable families creates an incentive for more stable families leading to a more stable society.
This has been true for virtually all societies because families are the single unit building block( foundation ) of societies.
If you strengthen the foundation of something, then you strengthen the entire system.
What if women do not want that anymore, for fear it just means they go back to being men's slaves and prefere to die alone among thei cats?
Weak times create weak men without 2 parents
@Lorenzo Maria Martini yes.
and now everybody is unhappy.
Men lost their slaves, women hoped to become independent , but just changed their masters, the corporations own them now.
This can only be solved with cooperation and compromise on both sides.
@@Daniela-pr7rz
That's not supported by the literature. In fact, it is women that want that the most because they have the most to gain, speaking in terms of evolution.
1. Women, unlike men, women can't as easily sleep around with everyone because of the risk of pregnancy.
This is shown through evolutionary history:
For women, the norm is sexual attraction=sexual attraction. And oftentimes, that’s all there is. Unlike her male counterpart, there is not an automatic leap to sexual availability.
In hunter-gather societies, as we know, the males hunt and fight; the females nurture and gather. Males are not the bottleneck in reproduction (a male can impregnate as many women as are available), they are hardwired to not only see things as attractive but to be rapidly attracted to the attractive object. In short, men are more visual, and sexual availability creates sexual attraction.
Women do considerably more mental processing for both sexual arousal and sexual availability. The female sexual response is based on emotional content and is far more self-referential, meaning they are doing a complicated formulation in their head to determine who might be a suitable mate. Women need to predict the future to select the man who will stay by her side to take care of her and her dependent young.
2. Women get less attractive as they age and men get more attractive, due to how our brains judge attractiveness unconsciously.
This is because an older man has increased resources, like money but not only money but protection too. That's why women are attracted to stronger men.
Men don’t have the same dramatic and early peak as women, as it’s typically easier to replace the paternal rather than the maternal role. Men have a much easier time looking attractive as they age. In fact, they often get better looking with age, because while their fertility isn’t declining as rapidly, their ability to take care of the young is often increasing, making them an even better mate choice.
3. Women prefer this type of system.
Gul and Kupfer used several different related experiments to test why women find men with these types of beliefs to be more sexy and appealing. They found that women who saw these types of men as more attractive also saw the men as being more willing to protect and care for them, and to commit to a relationship. Interestingly though, these women weren’t love-struck fools, but had their eyes open: Despite being attracted to these men, and seeing them as good mates and partners, the women saw these males as being undermining and patronizing and more likely to place restrictions on the women.
Gul and Kupfer conducted several separate experiments, showing that their results did replicate in different samples and using different methods (an important strategy) and that the effect was apparent both in potential mates and in work colleagues. Even in men who were not being scoped out as potential intimate partners, women were more likely to see sexist men as more attractive. Women who were both more and less feminist displayed similar levels of attraction to sexist men.
@@Daniela-pr7rz
I don't understand why you would call women making a logical calculation and choice about their future based on the evolutionary brain circuitry of sexual attraction a “slave”?
The modern dating scene may be the most toxic aspect of modern society. As a man in his early 20s having gone through relationship issues as well as my buddies, a lot of the issues are
1) no one actually wants to “date” anymore, it’s really just hook up culture, where eventually people might decide the person they hook up with is worth hooking up with more, so obviously this style is rife with cheating as it lacks anything resembling actual love and responsibility in a relationship.
2) relationships are considered a right, especially for females, and not something to work for, which is why in my experience you constantly deal with women who act incredibly entitled to how they believe a relationship should go, mostly that the men must do everything and the woman through her mere presence is doing her part, although weirdly if they get rejected they fight tooth and nail to have that guy pay attention to them. Which brings me to my last point
3) people these days are so emotionally and mentally immature or damaged by poor family standards that they actively sabotage their relationships due to their own instability. No matter what you do they can’t be satisfied because if you did something to make a genuine connection with them they are so afraid of commitment they will make up excuses to burn it all down. If you make things hard “your hard to get and rude” but if you try to make things easy you are “too easy and not worth it then”. Women these days want a guy who is “wild” and “manly” and “spontaneous” but hate the fact that those kinds of guys are unstable usually, and they actively despise what all of those traits bring with them, which is a guy who will be headstrong and “toxic masculinity”, so they also go after effeminate guys who are also an extreme other side and therefore lack the other qualities they look for. Most guys sit in the middle so they are never satisfied, which means women go around throwing themselves at extremes guys until they become emotionally mature to realize they should get a normal guy but by that time they’ve slept around and developed so many toxic habits regular guys don’t want them. The luckiest guys are the one who marry their high school sweethearts, so for those who didn’t have one, it’s tough work.
Also there a huge issue of people not really carry for themselves anymore so lots of people, men and women are overweight, or have terrible life habits that make them very undesirable, but you’re not allowed to have that standard in modern times it’s “fatphobic” and “sexist”
Wow, you perfectly summed it right up. 100% facts!!!!!!!!
Western women right there....and western men are afraid of Eastern women because they are mature and they think that's "too masculine" for them. I personally have never asked a girl out, I was asked out many times by girls instead, I'm not tall, not the most attractive man on the planet, I'm serious, never laugh, introvert and kind of arrogant because I know I'm very intelligent. I haven't had sex in years just because I believe the world is f...d Up, but I had Thirsty women Literally spreading their legs out on my face. That's not for me, that's not my style, and not the kind of woman I want.
That comes because my mother, when she was alive, she was a high value independent woman, he made more money than 80% of men in the company she worked for. That's one of the reasons why my standards for a woman are high, I don't really care about looks, but personality, matureness and intelligence. I've been talking with an Eastern European woman from a few months now, I know she is a mature lady, she is 20yo but acts very mature for her age, I'm a 25yo Latinamerican young man, so you will see there's a lot of differences between our cultures and still we are able to have chemistry, we met because I work as a languages tutor online, but things are taking multiple ways, most of them with a romantic destination.
Another thing, this is an issue not only of the western society but the 1st world specially... In the Eastern world and in poor countries you'd see plenty of "9-10" attractive girls with normal guys, some a bit fat, some shorter than them. But that happens because in poorer countries, women tend to develop their cognitive capabilities much more than the "wannabe rich" girls in the 1st world. Women in these countries with less income have more commitment to work with their husbands regardless of the looks for the future big their lives together. And also these guys tend to be hard workers. So there you go. A couple working hard to grow together.
Wow nicely put dude
I swear that everything u said is a 100% right my guy. Me coming from a 2nd or a 3rd world country(or whatever), i can also see that in the society i live in as well. People these days are just lazy and dont want to work on themselvs anymore. That has gotten to a point where the common sense is to abandon a dude that has literally everything a woman will always want, will be good to her, and is willing to put anything on the line for her, even to change himself for her.. just for her to leave him bcs he told her one time that he expects her to put in the effort to be a good person too, or just to change that one little thing. And thats when the modern society kicks in and tells her that he doesnt like u bcs he doesnt "appreciate" u enough and therefore is not worth ur time and ur whole life. Its really disqusting and i despise every piece of it. Its just the grand scheme of the devil and the masons to end the world and literally everyone can see it, but we go back to my first point.. they dont want to change anything bcs they lazy or dont have enough balls to do so...
That's exactly right. In almost all cultures, universally, humans have found that adultery is evil and destructive, and should be shamed and a stable society comes from the nuclear family and forming a strong supporting, loving core family with both parents.
Typical (but not always): A dad that encourages you to take on risks, responsibilities, build talents, stand on principles, to not be influenced so easily; a mom that teaches you to be caring, empathetic, rule-abiding, open to ideas, to balance with risk-averseness. It's not a coincidence--while other mammalian animals will abandon their cubs or have singular parents or none at all. While the parents' roles seem contradictory: one parent punishes, the other rewards, or they do both together--they are not contradictions. What is the "Nuclear atomic family"? What does it mean? Electrons, neutrons, protons, the positive, the negative, the neutral, it's got a lot of balancing of contradictory ideas and family members, to be what? Well-rounded. The "nux" (inner nut) from latin: nuclear.
Social media and dating apps have had a cataclysmic effect on the whole dating and mating process. 85% of women on Tinder, go for the top 4% of men. Now what does this mean? It means that 4% of women, will get what they want (probably), while the remaining 81% of women will refuse to settle for the remaining 96% of guys, and they will just wait years without settling down, for new top guys to enter the dating market. By that time other women will enter the dating scene therefore increasing competition for the top 4% of guys. 4% of these women will end up with a guy, and the remaining 81% of women will stubbornly wait (waste) years without settling down. And round we go.
Most of these women when they hit their early or mid 30s will go into panic mode, and they will settle for not as good looking guys although still picking from the top 20% of men.
If you paid attention you know the math doesn't add up. Shortly, most of these women will end up with a guy and they will almost look at this guy with disdain that they had to lower their standards to get a man, while the remaining women will hit a wall, end up alone, angry, confused, blaming men, and blaming everybody other than themselves. And I predict female suicides will skyrocket in the coming decades (male suicides too probably).
Social media and dating apps have given people the insane idea that "there are always other options" so they don't commit to relationships and they don't put effort into them.
If you want a real crisis, then how about the crisis of how social media and dating apps are demolishing society.
I wonder what percentage of women actually want a classic nuclear family which is the most likely to lead to a happy life?
It's called the nuclear family because it's a modern unnatural innovation.
@@DesertStateNevada yes sure, but at least those women screwing around with the top 4% aren't doing damage by divorcing the 96% when they get bored.
@@xpusostomos The reason why civilization advanced is because people had their own families, and even before the word "nuclear" existed, for hundreds of years 2 parents sticking together and raising a family is what meant success and happiness.
The left is trying to dismantle that because if people are confused, lost, angry, desperate and cannot think for themselves, then they rely on the government to save them from whatever problem it is they need saving from.
That's nonsense
What he is saying isn’t remotely controversial. It’s common sense.
The problem with common sense is that it's not very common!
@@richard20062006 yeah ffs having common sense is like a superpower now
in a progressive society it is in fact controversial.
The thing is having common sense now is basically curse cause you have to deal with people who doesn't have it
Truth is, governments want control and compliance from every individual by keeping them alone, and therefore leaving them more susceptible to control (by physical, mental, or emotional influence), rather than a happy, functional society.
one thing i love about Jordan: he will always admit when he doesn't quite know. honesty = integrity, something many of us (including myself) can learn.
He is simply saying he doesn't have personal experience of the subject. He does however follow the statistics, the societal changes and media messages put out, also following the fallout of these practises, namely a system that tries to override hundreds of years of civilised society to make us give in to base animal instinct, to replace what works with what doesn't, to divide and isolate us so we are easier to control.
@@cattysplat I'm not reading all of that I'm sorry.
But I get the general gist of what you are saying.
Example of why he may not know something.
He's not a good looking guy. So how does he really know what it feels like to be treated as a sex object from women.
He can observe the conditions but he can't experience it.
The problem is he knows very little about anything. It is amazing somebody like this ever got a Ph.D., let alone was allowed to practice psychology and teach.
@@ValleyoftheRogue b*tch
Who are you to criticise him??
Do you know more than he does?
I can't stand my generation anymore (I'm 23) it's like they fight on who is the most stupid
Victim and victimizers, every where. I'm only a bit older and it blends in with my peers as well LOL.
We just need values, our generation has lost them.
lol 😆 you are funny 😆
@@NarutoFreakii I'm not smart that's the problem
I dream wishing I'm the only person on earth and I can live with that
The great thing about being religious and waiting til marriage is it side steps some of today's dating problems, and since you date other people like that so monogamy is expected and there is still a social expectation on you both from your religious community and families.
I am proud of Woman Like you ,your Future husband can be proud of you
That's right. No sex until marriage 😜
And also, since you wait for marriage you can ignore the sex part of getting to know someone, and then you have more clear insight into them and their intentions. if that makes any sense
People who date are just looking for recreation. Which is sex.
People who court. Looking for long term relationship.
@@gelj065 infatuation and a coquette. Still hard to get past the spell and think clearly.
God fools people into making kids.
Forced: There is no agreement.
Enforced: There is an agreement.
The whole point of monogamy as I see it, is that it is the ultimate gesture of trust: "I am only for you, and you are only for me" and that's the foundation of that relationship. Without that foundation, either through cheating or agreeing before hand that each partner can sleep around; you ultimately do not have a relationship that's worth anything to you emotionally, mentally, and your soul will be empty.
it's generally accepted that you'll never find fulfillment outside yourself.
Option: staying single
@@wyleecoyotee4252
Very viable option.
@kingsquid exactly, it's a personal / mutual choice ultimate and there are bigger things to attend to than to be controlling who fucks who imo, some people don't even want a family, are we going to "enforce childs" then? xd
@kingsquid that's what the discussion is about tbh. y some people polygamy works for them. for most it won't
"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation." - Herman Melville
Nah its better to succed
Said no successful business owner or entrepreneur ever.
Not sure if you want to apply that to human relations
WWJD
aren't you just imitating this guy by repeating his quote tho? 😂
I always thought of STDs as nature's way of "enforcing" monogamy . . .
That's God's way of punishing sexual immorality ie sex outside of marriage
Look at Muslim nations and correlate the level of liberalism and the level of STDs in the country
They donʻt seem to be that common where I live, and people here are freaky.
God’s way yes!
@@shin-ishikiri-no Where is this place?
I've done a lot of work in countries with polygamy. In these societies, men who cannot get wives and have children tend to join rebel groups. Their logic is if I cannot have a wife, family and stake in this society, then they want to overthrow it. Monogamy, where everyone has their own partner, is a major force for social peace. When young men have a wife and kids, they have some reason to invest in and uphold society. If not, things can get bad.
Hmm interesting.
I do agree precedence should be give for every make it have a female partner or vice versa. But then also since women outnumber men or women who are widows, it should be allowed for men to take them as second or third wives while supporting them financially etc
@@pakistanculture3153 how would anyone be able to afford that though is the thing it’s quite literally impossible
@@pakistanculture3153 Women aren't items to be collected. I'd rather stay single for the rest of my life than be in someone's collection. Besides, I (and many women in developed countries) have a job and can support myself financially.
Criticising the desirable men for not settling down is pointless.
If women deem only the top 20% (a conservative estimate) of men desirable and every one of those men practiced lifelong monogamy with one woman, 80% of those women would still end up alone.
Imo this issue is on women. But wanted to point out that if that said 20% of men practiced lifelong monogamy they wouldn't have spent the majority of their life entertaining several women at once like a lot of them do nowadays (because they can), that way women would be forced to go down the hierarchy for the next best available partner.
@@leilau well In my opinion some women wouldn’t even give up and try to make some of the men cheat so ye they are still stuck up there
I don't understand this extreme narative. If there is only 20 percent high value men say in country there is no way all this men are at the same place. So how are these 80 percent women agreeing to this list of 20 percent top men and looking for only them by this narative. Who is giving them this data 20 percent high men data to all these women?. I am yet to see whole lot of women going after one man. That data is no way real in actual society. I think by majority they choose who they see good in their peer group/ bigger circle. I am from India and there is lot of us. I don't see 80 percent women on whole anyone chasing any small group of men. They are hypergamy which is okay unless they are greedy.
Say doctors are top of hierarchy where do even 80 percent women get access to doctor routinely. People should actually do a study on actual couple not ask whom they want to date and assume results from that. I too want the best looking hot woman if asked for research but will definitely settle for cute girl if find her compatible.
There's no point. Since women's happiness is 90% her children she can just get some random sperm or get married and leave. She literally don't need to 'settle down'.
They don't think that way though. "I can change him, I'll be the one"
"If you want to destroy any nation without war, make adultery and nudity common in the next generation." (Salahuddin Ayyubi).
Bro with all due respect they were not talking about porn they were talking about enforced monogamy in Islam polygamy is allowed so I don't see y this quote applies here for some reason
@@KD400_ still under the blanket of sexuality and it’s proper place in our society.
@@adio8824 what do u mean I agree with him but this video doesn't talk about porn it talks about monogamous relationships I don't see how porn is involved here of course adultury is involved but not porn
@@KD400_ sure. But the way I see it is that if u normalise adultery you would assume that everyone would get his fair share of it both men and women . But we came to the conclusion that this isn't the case so what happens is women following their hypergamous nature will create some sort of harms around a small percentage of men and these men have no responsibility towards any of these women and won't settle down I mean why would he ( and this is the difference between polygyny in islam and whatever you want to call this situation that we are into now at leastin my opinion. Also islam really emphasized on being fair towards your wives wich is really hard make no mistake, but here is another difference let say a man married 4 wives let us go to the extreme point of the situation , now his is kinda out of the game . In the dating market however the top men are in the game until he dies or something happens to them) so in a way the same thing that allowed women to have a "relationship " with these men is prohibiting them form settling down . And on the other hand you have a majority of men who have nothing to do other than watching, but the will find something to do and you not gonna like it.
I think a video I have watched by hamza it was called casual sex will destroy your live and nation might provide some ideas to what I'm trying to explain
And I hope what I said make some sense. Thanks for reading
@@yass-1323 yh same I watched the hamza video aswell and I agreed with this quote there
I understand this is supposed to be an educated, rational discussion, but to listen to people come to obvious conclusions about common sense is really just heartbreaking.
Yeah was thinking the same, and it's even worse that you get mocked for saying things like that, which are obvious!
This is why Jordan is the stupid persons intellectual. Midwits at most. He's been speaking common sense for years.
Because if its a single guy coming to these conclusions and debates among his other single guy friends, he gets told to step foot outside and go out in reality. But if its Jordan Peterson and youtube personalities going at it, and coming to the same conclusions (Like you said, common sense), its something to get on video.
I'm not dissing either of them. Just pointing out its easy to ignore obvious things if they're not supported by bigger people.
It always interests and kinda annoys me, the belief that ALL men, are looking for women, who are not already with one. (Assuming straight men of course) Like when a guy is single, people just assume he is looking, always, never being happy just being single, and ready to..go home and cook a burger and watch sports, or the Avengers, or whatever.
Let’s be real pussy is better than being single
people don't assume all men, they assume the vast majority. and biologically speaking they are correct.
Not many could live on their own and will slowly go insane or kill themselves. That's just reality. Most realise after wasting a decade in their 20s to nothing but consuming entertainment and casual sex that it is hollow and purposeless, a tool for the consumer economy. I understand if you don't feel this way yet if you are young, but the older you get, the more you realise you are weaker on your own and are a victim to this predatory world that will take all your money for a tiny taste of happiness, whilst you really need a family and home to protect you from it.
William Baldwin, omg yes it's the same for ladies lol. Since my 20s I was asked if I was gay or emo damaged for not having a dude. Happy Avengers & burger-binge, the rewards of a peaceful single life xx
Without monogamy, there is no stability
U forgot to say/add "in my delusional mind" smh
@@mpumelelobeyers957 And from where does your thoughts come?
It’s a pretty simplistic way of looking at it. I don’t agree with Peterson here. It is the case now, but not historically. Considering that something like 50% of all men to have ever lived never got to reproduce and close to 100% of women did, we are only here now because of polygamy. There’s a reason men can do their part in the reproductive process several times a day.
Just think of how many men died in WWI and WWII or on the Titanic where 80% of the women survived compared to less than 20% of the men.
Men are and have always been expendable, our species have relied on their willingness to both sacrifice themselves and be promiscuous.
true but it's over.
@@rakashaagain sad, but true.
One of those things that put a lot of what's wrong with society today into focus for me is realising that people are way to prone to thinking that the state ought to be/ is the default mode of effecting societal change. Enforced monogamy isn't the state distributing women to undeserving men, it's her mother and aunts and older sisters hounding her at every family get together to finally find herself a husband, and similar pressures put on young men.
If we can help it, we should probably avoid getting the state involved in just about anything - being such a dangerous tool, perhaps the state is best reserved for the tasks that cannot be achieved any other way.
Don't let the left hear you say that.
That sounds like receipt for disaster. Especially in case of young men. Least thing you need is when your very, very distant relatives (and i mean something like descendants of your grandmother's grandmother brother) try to persuade your grandma to persuade you to "date" their granddaughter just because you went to same kindergarten as she and now you both are like 14. Few of those "aunts" were enough to completely kill my interest in dating during my teenage years. You know, I would have not only to navigate through standard situations and problems like everybody else, but there was still this danger of accidental meeting some very distant relative.
@@MrToradragon I'd prefer that over having the government come in to apply the pressure in question. I'd say 14 is a bit young to start pushing it as well.
@@cobusvanderlinde6871 I would prefer no one to be applying pressure in the first place. But if the state would get involved, I would perhaps find a job on something like oil tanker or container ship and just be as far from land as possible ans explaining that it would be really irresponsible to have family with such dangerous job. Or maybe I would join military and send same explanation. Or something along those line.
Sure 14 is early, and so was my opinion and opinion of my parents, so both grandmas were forbidden from involvement in those matters. But it still was enough to kill my interest for next few years. On the other hand I had time for things like writing coding and so. It has only one small drawback, I have never learned how to pick up the signals and I tend to treat women just as I treat other men and it had already resulted in funny situations in the past.
@@MrToradragon there is no issue with dating a distant relative. If anything the chance of birth defects is actually much less than when mating with a random stranger.
People really need to learn more about incest. If we were to only mate with people who arent technically related to us then the only way to be safe would be to have a bicultural or even biracial relationship.
I’m so glad that I met my husband right when dating went “online” via tinder and other dating apps.
I’m noticing women becoming more entitled and men becoming more bitter. It’s a very frightening storm brewing and I’m convinced that the pendulum will swing back towards (true) female oppression by men who are sick of the current socially acceptable female narcissism.
Women today, at least in most urban centres, have equal footing to men in their ability to create personal wealth and opportunity. My partner, and the partners of my friends seem to make around the same income and have similar levels of education. Our lives are much more equal in our responsibilities and requirements to each other and our families. My mother worked full-time, but didn't make nearly as much as my dad. She cooked, cleaned, did all the shopping, and gave my sister and I as much love and attention as her tired body could give. When you say women today are more entitled and narcissistic, I have to laugh. The swing you're talking about? What, the 80s?
The big snap back is gonna be brutal. I'm already imagining Taliban-levels of fundamentalism.
"pick me" 🙄🙄🙄🤮
That’s because looks without substance only gets you in the house. Doesn’t mean you deserve to stay 👋✌️
Well to play devil’s advocate, I’d say that those “narcissistic women” are a minority in society, not the norm. The problem isn’t online dating, but how it is used, and how that frames our perspective on dating. If women are the sexual selectors, online dating has given women a massive pool to pick from, and it’s made dating far easier for women who are more typically shy of dating. So I think online dating has accelerated the rate in which people enter into relationships of any sort. I think on some level most people would agree with that, that online dating makes accessing relationships (and I’m using that term in a broad sense) easier and quicker. The problem is most people, particularly men, tend to focus on the promiscuous side of that. There’s an assumption that because women have a large pool of potential partners, they’ll inherently become more promiscuous, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. I think opportunity is the wrong way to look at it, rather it’s a matter of personality. If a woman engages in more promiscuous behaviour, having a large dating pool didn’t form that interest, it simply more easily allowed it to turn to action. I know plenty of people, however, who formed longstanding monogamous relationships through online dating, myself included. That large dating pool, in such cases, was irrelevant. So, I think one of the issues with online dating is that the people who use it longterm are primarily interested in short term relationships or one off flings. It’s not that less people are monogamous, or that women are too picky, or anything like that, but that people who are inclined towards monogamy and long term relationships quickly filter out of the pool because they got locked into relationships. The pool is inherently going to be lopsided with picky and casual partners in the long term who repeatedly come back.
I’ve talked to women before who have complained
The problem is with current society’s misinterpretation of what “enforced monogamy” actually means.
The amount of idiots that I have met are women who cope seethe and cry about it because they have either been cheated on by men or cheated on men. And they think that they can some how destroy the reality that is monogamous genital intertwined sewed in fabric they could break but so will they break along with what their arrogance has disrupted that is the whole system which holds all in place for order and no chaos.
Isn't that no divorce? Basically Amber Heard can keep abusing Johnny Depp until he die.
a survey has revealed that 74% of men and 68% of women would have sex with someone else if it were guaranteed that their spouse would not find out !!! Whatever you opinion is about this : this means : your friends, your family, your brother, your sister, your cousin, your sister in law or your neighbour etc. That’s not just considering it they would actually be unfaithful !!!
That’s the people who judge and condemn others for their infidelity
Thank you for simplifying terms every now and then!!
Keep up!!
I support enforced mahogany!!!
So does Woody Woodpecker
I support enforced McConaughey
Yes I like strong wood too
@@magicxsquare_
That's what she said
Who needs choice when you can enjoy a romantic dinner for two at the gulag, courtesy of the Ministry of Love.
Thank you Professor, love to hear you speak.
Excellent conversation offering an educated view... Thankyou
The thought of hypergamy being prevalent with women in this day and age where they could be and are self-sufficient is just mind boggling to me. This makes me question the patriarchy hypothesis even more. If the evidence is showing that women are choosing to be with men higher in the hierarchy, it should beg the question why that is happening. Is it a primal instinct to preserve themselves or have a higher chance of survival? Then doesn't that also mean they could have been choosing to say with men in the past solely because it was to their advantage, as opposed to being forced to? Shouldn't it be also taken into account that WOMEN were reinforcing the idea that men should stomp over other men to gather resources and be the most appealing to women to have a chance at procreation? Doesn't this mean that the majority of men were the real victims of oppression by the implicit cooperation of these elite men and the average woman? It looks like the feminist dogma is debunking itself day by day.
Its a primal instinct for women to choose men that offer the security, which is largely finicial security lately.
yes
Society had a system that kept hypergamy in check. No sex before marriage, which allowed for a woman to explore their naturally hypergamous nature and made marriage a really big deal, because they got one chance. Then a committed Monogamous marriage. There were social structures in place to enforce these unnatural conditions which are optimal for child rearing. Feminism upends the societal model as well as a broader selection pool. Hypergamy is not bound in the same way. This “freeing” of women from the patriarchy is bad for average men which makes them involuntarily celibate. I don’t know if oppressing is the right word for it but average men are getting a bad deal under feminism as well as the children comparatively speaking. Feminism favors the Ghengis Khan model of society rather than a more stable nuclear family model.
I'm a woman just putting in my opinion but there will always be gold digger types. Gals that have the looks, charm. and willingness to play a man like a fiddle. Then there are women who are independent and are a bit too extreme about not wanting a man to spend money in her. That woman will go after the fun better looking guy even past her age 30 because of she can never bring herself to consider his resources and their resources then it really doesn't matter how much resources he has. Then there are the ladies in between those two extremes
@@Opal5674 You just described two types of psychopaths. One desires wealth and the other desires sex. I hope it’s more complicated then that.
So glad my husband and I have each other . And am so sad that a lot of people won't have what we have.
@Erin, my apologies, but you more than likely do not have what you think you have with your husband.
@@user-yk9sk7pg6v I don't think that's something you can say about them if you know nothing about them.
@@user-yk9sk7pg6v please shut up Mr. Galaxy Brain. You don't know anything about her
That's good. Until one of the two does something the other does not like. In that case "enforced monogamy" does not sound good anymore
Lol...are u rubbing it in.
I literally am in my last possible relationship at least in my mind. I’ve been abused emotionally by two women in my life; both suffered from personality disorders. I didn’t know they had them going in, or even when I found out what a personality disorder was. During these relationships I was definitely cheated on, oestrocised told that women have more power than men. I was told that because my first girlfriend fell pregnant I had no say, I was very young at 18 and I wasn’t even sure if the child was mine. I was emotionally gaslighted constantly, cheated on, made to feel like shit but I couldn’t leave because of my self esteem. I believed no one would ever love me.
After this I went into a similar relationship and it was a very cold and manipulative relationship, again very similar.
After those two relationships I realised women cheat more than men if anything. Especially in this day and age, and the sort of values I held had no place in this world. It wasn’t t until 5-6 years of being single I got into a new more adult relationship at 29.
It takes time, and nothings really perfect when you get someone. The scars still haven’t healed; I still feel like something maybe afoot, especially when your partner acts strangely. It’s always better to observe and make your case when you feel you have some grounds for the paranoia you may feel you’re experiencing,
Unfortunately in this world nothing is sacred anymore and quite often couples cheat.
I hope younger generations find something outside of a relationship to find something else which makes them happy. The world is a lot simpler when you’re alone.
B
Guess I was right for putting off relationships when I'm much older and mature, and focus on bettering myself for the time being.
I have been in the same spot. I concluded that if something rattles my intuitin that something is wrong, then something is up. I dont need proof or a 600 page document explaining 'why'.
Good quote to go with it: "there comes a time when the world ( she is part of that world) asks you what you see, if you dont know, the world will tell you what you see.."
Listen to your intuition, its hardly ever wrong. Why? Because its tied to your feelings.
I like Dr. Peterson's honesty when he is unclear of a subject. He doesn't come across as being a "know it all."
A real expert will tell you what he knows and what he doesn't. The sophomore (Greek: "wise fool") thinks he is educated and therefore an authority. The wise man recognizes that he cannot know everything and doesn't pretend to.
th-cam.com/video/TvadK7gj3jA/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=RichCooperClips
^This is one example to the contrary.
But I've also heard Jordan talking about men needing to assume responsibility for why women don't find them attractive, which was more of a platitude and half-truth than anything. It's easy to know what you're talking about when your advice boils down to "do better".
Not to knock Peterson too hard, he's still a boomer who didn't even enter the dating market back in the 1970's, and for all his research and wisdom couldn't steer his daughter away from single parenthood.
But I will say he's still surprisingly on point, all things considered.
I have met and worked with many scientists. It is very rare to hear any of them say "I am a scientist", but this comment is frequently made by Jordan Peterson. His claims to speak with authority on Climate Change are laughable and very unscientific.
Due to a toxic University environment (UCSD), the love of my life cheated on me and broke my heart.. and she thought nothing of it because that's what her girlfriends told her to do. I think women sabotage a relationship unconsciously, when they want out and cannot/will not end it themselves.. they will just trash it, and expect the man to "solve" that problem. Very sad. But I am no longer a victim, it was an incredible opportunity to discover life and higher self, through great suffering. Onward and upward! And fuck cheating 🖕
@kingsquid of course not ALL women. Just in my experience.
Most women will, if they attractive enough to find another partner of course
@kingsquid no evidence, really. More observation and experience I guess
I should add for anyone interested - she told me she immediately regretted it, and the experience was emotionally traumatic for her.. imo, she betrayed herself by being influenced to cheat from her college girlfriends, who she subsequently cut ties with. They wanted her to cheat so they would feel better about doing that themselves. It's a toxic club, in universities.
@kingsquid my point is that there exists a toxic hookup culture that permeates American universities. Second to that point, is that men and women cheat for different reasons - men do so more because they can't control themselves, women do so more because of ulterior motives. Do you see what I'm saying?
Ever since I was in middle school, I heard of what gendercide of mainland China was. I knew there would be statistically left out men. When I turned 14, a Chinese girl showed interest in having me as a boyfriend, and I started thinking about girlfriends. It made me think of the statistically left behind men even more. I decided to keep up with news in mainland China soon after that.
@Luyolo Mjobo I was just saying that statistically millions of men in mainland China will be left out of the dating game. What will that statistically left behind men be doing? I read Chinese news to find out.
Women looking elsewhere make the imbalance even worse.
@Ciggies After Church They didnt kill those girls themselves, Chinas one child policy incentivising selfish parents to only let the economically more productive boys not get aborted did. They are not their parents, and now they suffer for the previous generations crimes. China was already poor , and poor people have always pumped out a few kids to make sure that they at least can have someone send money in their old age cuz pensions if they even exist are unreliable. So people chose to have a boy and abort the girls bc they generally can work harder on the farm or smth. So selfish people getting a fucked up incentive.
@Luyolo Mjobo the One Child Policy caused a lot of female abortions or abandonment because males are valued more in the culture. This eventually skewed China's gender ratio that they now kidnap Vietnamese girls on the border for their sons to marry.
I believe the same thing is happening to India but without the government incentive. Brides pay dowry so every daughter you have is basically money draining out of the family.
@Luyolo Mjobo he just wanted an excuse to share that a Chinese girl was interested in him
@@kevind.k7512 that's abortion in a nutshell, selfish parents sacrificing their own kids to the gods of selfishness
My last girlfriend started attending uni and a few months later, cheated on me. And it's really sad. Because now my trust is gone and she ruined herself something that might have become simething greater in exchange for hedonistic short term pleasure. Its starting to become a bit disgusting to personally.
You should of choose better.
@@misssincere5762 how was he to know?
How did you find out? Did she tell you?
I don’t want to live in this world anymoew
@@Xaviallin1 why not?
Hypergamy only works if he picks you too, ladies… In case you didn’t know.
Hypergamy can be your strategy, if you so chose. That’s your right. However, it’s not a requirement for any man to play along.
THIS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
For short term Hypergamy may work but long term that is not a stable strategy because eventually all the good men are gonna be driven away by this and the men left will cheat on you just as easily as you cheated on men in the past
@@kurtpunchesthings2411 Agree. Hypergamy is just the way DNA replicates itself the best and fastest, it doesn’t care about retirement and wedding vows.
That’s why “relationships” mostly last 7 years or less. For millions of years, it only took about 4-7 years before the baby would be able to walk around, so the man could then be much more absent, if he survived at all.
What we have now is modernity trying to use million years old equipment. Imagine someone running a F1 race in a model A? They’d cause a crash and people would die.
So I agree, and the point is… if you’re the one wielding a million year old tool, who’s to blame when it doesn’t work?? Is it even the appropriate tool? Hypergamy helps pick “good” dna per the caveman cavewoman needs, which is why felons have 30% more kids than non felons, hypergamy is selecting for leadership, aggression etc, but it’s a pretty crap tool for picking a “good” man who will stay and provide and retire a woman at age 25.
That's why every relationship in hookup culture is so unstable. One person ALWAYS feels like they could do better
@@brent4073 and the person saving “I deserve better” is simultaneously demanding the other person “settle with less than they deserve”.
The framing is all wrong from the start, in either case, which is why these relationships fail. Basically they’re not actually “relationships”, they’re exploitations and fraud.
you know when it comes to dating nowadays i have just accepted we live in dystopia. sometimes you hook up but people always look for something els (may it be you or them) but non of us know what we want, so we end up not taking a risk other than to share std`s maybe. shit was done a bit better before in time considering what we have to deal with now. and saying that, people start too accuse you of being either incel or woman/man hater or whatever.
but honestly, can anybody say we are in a better place now relationship wise? most of us are alone and feel lonely but fuck no if we take a damn risk and do the work that a long term relationship is required from EVERYONE doing it. shit goes south and people move on, nah it went south with your grandparents too but they figured it out (hopefully) and thats the old couple you can remember. you only see the end result, but there was a lot of pain, probably adultery even and suffering, you dont see the fucking hell they had to go thru to get there. let me end this with saying fuck tinder and any dating app. it is not good for any of us and deep inside we know it.
Sweep left, sweep right. We don't really date anymore. We compare. And despair. The top 10% get everything. Tinder. Top 10% of males have all the power. 90% of males have nothing. And 70% of females only complain while 30% unknowingly (or even knowingly) share the 10% of males and just give them whatever they want.
I'm glad I am old and married and out of it. Technology made dating so, so, archaic. Randomness and chance has been digitized out of existence and everyone is boiled down to a single number in the hierarchy.
We did not take I. Account bugger picture of sex. Now we have a big population and no need to have family. Great
So go against the crowd and do what you believe is best. Set the standard in your life for a healthy, reciprocated, monogamous long term relationship or have no relationship at all. Do not participate in hook up culture and short term relationships.
@@kathyalex778 easier said than done specially when hormones are kicking in
Just bee yourself
People need to be more Responsible
Impossible in a world where 94% of the media is controlled by the left and the education system is also controlled by the left. People are brainwashed into hating words like "responsibility, individuality, loyalty" and etc.
Responsibility -> acting white -> white privilege -> white supremacy -> hitler
authority is needed to be responsible. responsibility by itself doesn't exist.
@@DesertStateNevada Don't forget that they are all Reptilians too!
@@DesertStateNevada both sides are simply wings of the same damned bird, damned to many many hells. Liberate yourself of all labels and be true to yourself, only through that, will you wake those around you.
This makes me think of the issue they used to call "Unnatural populations" Towns that predominately had far more men than women, basically because of the work (Mining, Military) You could definitely see the attitudes of people there were very different than a city where there was far more diversity in occupations and a far better ratio of Men and Women.
Can you explain how it was different
@@wolfdog3226 more males than females. Besides what Jordan Peterson explained? Male to Male aggression, Male to Female harassment and aggression. The was also increase of Female to male harassment. Women were fair more bolder, relationships didn't last as long. Then there are bigger impacts when you like at China and India with their Adult sex ratio. Many of these young men who have reached "marriage" age will remain single. That traditional aspect alone can cause serious mental health concerns. Jordan peterson referred to women can "Marry up" the additional problem with these traditional areas is that they are low economic areas. This is why they used to call it an "unnatural population". It has also been speculated that due to these men being marked as "out casts" they are more likely turn to antisocial behaviour and crime. Dating sites are a bit of a concern to me and the mental health state of males in general. The rise of MGTOW groups due to the backlash to certain feminist rhetoric and laws in family courts has many impressionable young adult men fearful of women, along with INCEL. Don't get me wrong, the risks of horror story breakups and these extreme feminist fractions are out there but I fear that the internet has aloud the squeaky wheels to get the most oil; from both sides of the coin. It's always best to evaluate your immediate environment/ place where you live and not to live our lives vicariously through the internet or social media.
@Michael Stott How would a warring and mining town have more men than women...? I mean those occupations tend to kill men. I am not superstitious, Michael, but I am a little stitious.
@Taylor Jones One of mine has!
@@calebgiles1987 When I grew up in Eastern Europe I felt that men are the choosers, since women are ready to fight with each other for a man. Since demographically women are more. In South Africa 🇿🇦, where my husband is from, the ratio is sort of stable, but here men are slightly more, and women can be more picky.
Jordan I love you man. You are like a beacon in this darkness.
My old man always told me to stay free and never settle down, he was right 💯
I tried being married, I was very devoted, my ex was sleeping with at least a half dozen other guys. Now I'm tempted but scared to DNA test my son.
Messed up. Ensuring paternity is one of the many reasons why virginity was a requirement for marriage. Secondly, once a woman becomes accustomed to sexually bonding & breaking, it seems like an addiction that they can't stop.
@@toomuchtruth I agree 100%
marriage is an outdated concept you just lose in it
Try it with a trustworthy partner tho
@@AnneALias I learned from being married that I could keep the promise of being with someone the rest of my life, my ex taught me I could never trust someone else to do the same.
Looks at wedding ring... I'd say I'm in favor of enforced monogamy. We don't do media with sex, sensuality, or anything like that. Keeping your marriage pure, loving, and respectful starts with what you consume.
@kingsquid I accept the lable with honor. We don't even watch The first iron Man because if you allow yourself to compromise even a little bit for the sake of a movie, how much more will you compromise in your life and relationships? It might be one drop in the bucket but those drops add up pretty quick.
Most people can’t even do this and they want faithful partners smh
@@yzma6142 monogamy gives the married couple freedom to mature in ways they're incapable of. Within the boundaries one can find out where they were going wrong in their single life. Before marriage, and the monogamy that came with it, I didn't actually have a reason to purge what I chose to put before my eyes. But then after getting married I did have a reason. To honor my spouse. Likewise for my husband to honor me. Having someone in your life to regard much higher than you regard yourself provides a beautiful opportunity for growth in ways you didn't think possible before.
Dude Monogamy kicks ass shame it's going out of fashion faster then Disco
@Despize Perform freedom? Or a different form of slavery. When you choose not to be monogamous you are enslaving yourself to your passions and lusts, as opposed to making your passions and lust submit themselves to you. I control my passion and lust when I became monogamous when I got married 5 years ago. I would rather be married to one person, have sex with only one person, than be enslaved to the lusts and desires of others including myself.
Your quip about authoritarianism reveals the true nature of your heart. By and large society has always flourished when monogamy is enforced.
My guy never putting links at the end to click on but pointing anyway. Respect.
Honestly, there is a small part of me that wants to see where this all leads too. Just out if pure curiosity.
It leads to society burning down to cinders which I personally have no problems in I only live to make myself as powerful as possible so I can see it burn down in comfort.
Dating is too dangerous these days, too easy to get falsely accused and with the rise of cheating has made it worse. Person cheats, gets caught then accuses the person they cheated with of S assault now instead of shame their now an instant victim.
and society stopped lookinn down on cheating,and tried to normalize it by giving it a new name
@@GabrielleTollerson shut up and leave people alone .
I'm a 20 year old guy and my experience with dating is just don't bother 2/3 girls I know have done or continue to do onlyfans or something adjacent the girls I have dated have started drama because they're bored according to them or cheated usually both and there's generally a fair bit of narcissism from the girls, expecting me to do all the usual thing when they can't even be loyal and not cheat
You attract what you are. If all the women you meet are like that it's time to work on yourself
So offer them money for sex and you must realize by nature women are naturally promiscuous incapable of love so stop being a nice guy and play their game
@Taylor Jones Possible but to make that assertion you've of course asked the majority of women on Earth and aren't just proclaiming it on a personal feeling right?
@Taylor Jones ah, you must be new. American women love attention and do onlyfans for attention, money
@Taylor Jones Only thousands that's an extreme minority of women considering there are over a hundred million in the US alone and billions worldwide.
dope channel bro!!
Its funny listening to this. We expect such brash our polarized statements about the nature of relationships and what SHOULD and SHOULDN'T be, but this dude Jordan Peterson just lays it out in the most down to earth fashion known to man.
A friend of mine got divorced a few years ago. We’re 38. From what a gathered he said, it’s a very sad and messed up state of affairs. I’m curious to see how this pans out. I had 2 sons and so did he. But I can’t imagine trying to feel stable and comfortable enough with people these days to try an take that leap to start a family with any semblance of security. Like. What do you suppose is gunna happen when there aren’t so many people? Not a good time.
Last two decades of various financial crisis are just a result of already declining population in the west. And the economists still can't figure out why things are behaving strangely lately.
As a guy moving into high demand areas. (for the sake of my comment just accept it for now)
Theres too much risk, pregnancy, security risk, me 2, disease.
Trying to manage these things while operating a high level is tough and seems not worth it.
In very religious societies, where the church is the state, you do get women allocated to men. This is in the form of arranged marriages. This does result in some ugly men, both spiritually and physically.
If you think That Arrange marriage means Giving women to Unworthy men then you're completely wrong my friend.
Absolutely not. Its usually the parents that might force a girl to marry and they would be given to relatives, they would NOT be 'allocated' to men.
I've never dated a woman before. I've only dated men. So this information is kinda new to me in a way. Hopefully men and women can somehow come to an agreement that will strengthen bonds and improve the over all quality of life.
Seems to me that women get the first laugh when she's young and beautiful but men get the last laugh later in life.
Wow I remember seeing you reply on a video about Polish politics before. You were in a huge comment thread, don’t know if you remember.
@@EragonShadeslayer yup that was me 👍😊
Women get the first laugh, the last laugh, and every laugh in between. First were young and beautiful, then we have children and men become irrelevant (except as a wallet), then we have grandchildren, who value grandma over everything, then we die happy. Men stop mattering when a woman has children. As long as he pays the bills, he could either be there or be gone. It wouldn't make any difference to us. Children fulfill women in a way that a husband never can.
@@sarahrobertson634 what about a woman who can't have children? Plus it's his children too. He can take them away from you if he's the better parent. Not all women make great mothers.
As you get older your market value diminishes. Every woman will get to a point where she can't have kids anymore but men are fertile for a life time.
@@sarahrobertson634 The steep rise in post-30 female depression, medication and suicide rates paint a different picture. Seems that unchecked hypergamy isn't working out so well for women
The funniest thing to me about him being taken out of context on that (looking at you, Ethan Klein...) is that his detractors are so smooth brained they legitimately thought the man who's constantly know for opposing authoritarianism, whose whole reason for fame was standing up against authoritarian legislation, meant "enforced" by state intervention.
Nellie Bowles of the New York Times did that smear job on Peterson. Apparently she spent 2 days with him, pretending genuine research and then stabbed him in the back. Gotta love today's 'journalists'.
i applaud you for writing this complex sentence
“Standing up against authoritarian legislation”
The one that was supposed jail people for misusing pronouns but ended up jailing approximately… absolutely no one?
@@stoyanpetkov3853 So what? This is only the beginning. Also people have been fired and their privacy and life destroyed simply because of words. Taking any hit for words is just stupidity and control.
Ethan Klein truly fell off…
They aren't worth it even when They WANT to stay with you...
"the women are frustrated because the minority of men they would like to have long relationships with is a sellers market".
Imagine having the pick of the litter essentially, and you still cant find someone. I feel sad for them.
@Viva Kreig I know what it means
@Viva Kreig I mean shit I don't even want many options I just want to find a woman who is not a piece of shit actually loves me and like me very loving and loyal is that too much to ask ? Alas it probably is
Even Jeff Bezos got divorced, meaning that money can't fix it. I don't think it's wise to get into any real relationships right now, better wait for this dating dystopia to fall and crumble before getting involved.
Don't cheat. Have some morality and understand emotion. A long term friend just cheated on his wife and against his daughter. He's hurt their hearts beyond his ability to repair and shows no remorse.
Don't cheat. You'll answer for who you become one day, you don't want that on the list against you.
What's crazy to me, is that there are females who speak against cheating but are doing it at this moment. You'll have to fact-check to see otherwise.
@@Sean-nr3ts I'm a guy. Lol
@@chaywarburton3488 Sorry, I did think that I could have confused things and I'll change up the comment to fit the light.
@@Sean-nr3ts I do get that a lot though. Having the name Chay(Shay, pronounced) doesn't help.
@@chaywarburton3488 I understand.
I agree if they can hold you responsible for child support till there 18 why not the person staying, that would also eliminate women who are try to live off the state by having more children with different fathers
Men need to realise they don't need women to be happy.
Nowadays most women either treat men like sex toys or like a walking ATM, it's extremely rare to find that girl that's just right. Modest, interesting and that actually has a fully developed personality.
If you happen to find that girl make sure you hold on to her. For me I'll remain alone and happily so. You gotta be your own hero in your own story, no woman is coming to help you out of your dark pit, you gotta do it on your own and find ways to be happy with yourself.
Same goes for women. We’re all facing similar issues.
Im 40 this yr and I remember when I was 16 to 18 this was happening but didn't know if it was just as bad or coz social media and women didn't blast it on there but I was always taught fix your yard up before trying to enter another yard. The grass isn't always greener on the other side if u go there n do the same shit m not look after it
Never really saw myself as someone that will ever get married, personally don't think i'll ever find anyone. And so i never really ever looked.
Talked, had fun with ppl, was nice, but idea of dating anyone never really crossed my mind, always felt so strange, so unnatural.
It never really stressed me out, aside from unhappy married people i know trying to make me self-conscious about it.
They are all angry, stressed and dysfunctional and try to present me that as sort of goal. Perhaps. But maybe not for me.
I do at times feel bit self-conscious about it when i think about it from biological standpoint, but otherwise thinking about it in any other way, it just feels strange.
Part of me thinks it's my upbringing and things from past, but honestly i don't think i'd really ever come out differently. This is the definitive outcome.
All i want these days, is it focus on work, on things i want to do. And do them, and perhaps explore a bit, see new and interesting things.
I think a lot of very young people feel like this now and days. :)
Being in a different country now(Muslim) Monogamy is praised, and adultery is something that can be punished. People marry younger or older, but more younger men wanting to marry than the states. People prepare for marriage instead of relationships that go no where. People can even get in trouble for trying to date or do things with the daughter of a family. Not saying there are people who practice sexual promiscuity, dress provocatively, and have boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, it’s just very frowned upon, and mostly the woman’s value goes down to where she can’t get married if she gives herself a bad name. The man is also less desirable. I feel better having my kids here and having an actual chance at a fulfilling life towards God and marriage/family then living in the states and having their minds be corrupted with evil things everywhere(culture.)
Muslim people are allowed to have multiple wives tho
@Haitham Ali uh i never said it’s bad, the comment said Muslim countries favour monogamy but that’s not true they have multiple wives
@@snooglehound1285 Any basic research would have told you that promiscuity has disastrous effects on women's mental stability and pair-bonding ability. You're literally talking out of your backside
@@MA-se1iv in nearly all Muslim majority countries polygamous marriages make up max 1-2%. Now compare that with cheating and adultery in the West. A guy has to provide EVERYTHING for his wife (separate house, clothing, kids, gold, emotional support, in-law responsibilities). Guys who can provide that are a rarity. Also women who accept to have a co-wife are a rarity. In healthy polygamous marriages wives,kids, everyone knows of eachother and they're ONE big family. Also, Muslim majority countries like Turkey and Tunisia have banned polygamy so any polygamous marriage there is unlawful thus unequal thus sus in terms on religion (you can't be equal if one of them literally don't have legal rights as your wife).
@@chico9805 bro what? Never in my life have I heard this. You got a source?
What I've always struggled to process here is this concept of the "competence hierarchy" and how it comports with female mate choice and this Pareto distribution he's always talking about. He routinely talks about how even in situations where women outnumber men (in this example, college), the vast majority of men still have zero sexual success, because women are only interested in men that are "across and up the competence hierarchy" from them. But this doesn't really compute, at least based on personal experience.
Most of the guys I know that got the most action in college were simply tall and good-looking. The girls weren't even aware what their GPA's were or what their graduate school plans/ambitions were. The female mate choice had little, if anything, to do with "competence." Contrastingly, the most "competent" guys who spent more time studying in the library and working to "have their shit together" by being disciplined got little, if any, sex.
it's all about game my friend, and looks. but if you're average looking, then it should be clear that you should go for average looking girls
Two main points:
1. Jordan sees the world through a blue pill/purple pill lens. He won’t admit that looks (genetics, black pill) are the primary motivator for sex for women who are at peak SMV (18-24).
2. The competency hierarchy doesn’t manifest as the dominant selection model for women until they hit the epiphany phase and beyond (30 until death). After this point is when they will select based on resources (wealth, money) and social status, both of which are largely dependent on competency.
right it was just for sex. women usually pay attention to other attributes in men when picking a long term partner but not so much when they want a good looking guy to have fun with.
The people who got the most sex regardless of the situation are individuals who had decent looks (Bare minimum) and then personality traits such as assertiveness, out-going and proactive. No chick wants to be with someone who's wimpy, boring or lazy.
As for long-term that is based on the individuals actual competency, because incompetent partners will eventually cause enough strain to were the other party will step out. This will occur even if the party stepping out doesn't posse narcissistic qualities.
@@visionforetold4568 You don't listen. He said "across and up socio-economic hierarchies"
There are many skills both men and women need today in 2022 to have a successful relationship. Most don't have those skills and most unfortunately aren't prepared to learn them. Sure some are shallow and want shallow relationships but most don't.
Awesomeness
The left would have been in favour of redistribution in the dating market had they been consistent.
Not really, they're only in favor of "equality" for women, not men (I know, it makes no sense but hey)
@@xpusostomos thus "had they been consistent." Same with the truckers. Had the left been consistent, they would stand with the working class. Same with skepticism of big pharma. As somebody who in principle veers towards leftist egalitarianism but doesn't blindly follow narratives, it's really infuriating to watch "the left" become so utterly hypocritical.
The unspoken assumption of the "free love" idea (which wasn't invented in the 60's, but is as old as leftism itself) was that since all human beings were supposedly equal it naturally followed that all human beings were equally as desirable.
@@somerandomvertebrate9262 I don't get why you say "free love" is related to an idea that everyone is equally desirable.
@@xpusostomos Well, that's what the left used to think, so an incel problem was simply inconcievable. All you needed to do to achieve equal free love utopia was to smash supposedly oppressive, traditional power structures.
Even in my youth, normie, dominant discourse programmed women would typically say, "there is always somebody for everybody".
Wow the comment section got intense real fast
"Enforced monogamy" is a specific term of art used when academics discuss mating behaviors. When taken out of context it infuriates people. Like "friendly fire" in the military or "dummy seat" in aviation. You do him no favors by putting Peterson's name next to the term without context. Why not do some good in the world and change this title as you easily can so that it doesn't show up in the 10s of thousands of impressions this video will earn among 96% who won't take the time to watch it?
What if this was all part of the plan. Red and blue play the same game with each other to herd the sheep. The myopic and reactive are easy to control.
No, here Jordan defends himself well, the title should stay because when people google it they should see his perspective rather than what his accusers' say.
@@bx3556 I disagree. The ratio of "impressions" to "views" is usually rather low. You are doing well on TH-cam if 6% of those who see the video thumbnail actually view it. So 94% of the people will just walk away thinking "there's Peterson talking about providing wives for incels again." Headline writers do this all the time, so I know why he chose this title. It is click bait. But it doesn't make it right.
@@drivetounderstand8579 I tend to agree that clickbait is not beneficial in any way, even if it gets cheap clicks and views. We live within a very shallow culture, and the first purpose of this video is not to enlighten, but to enrich the creator’s bank account. Most unfortunate
To be fair, he did put it in quotation marks.
No fault divorce was the beginning of the end.
Just don’t get married. I’m older and never have. I’ve been in a stable relationship with a woman for more than a decade. Any woman that demands it without kids should set off alarm bells.
'We must seize the means of reproduction' - Karl Marx...probably
If someone cheats on you, get rid of them from your life. They will do it again, they don't respect you and there is no such thing as "I'll change!" or whatever. People do not change.
If someone can't resist the temptation they are toxic to your life. And destroy them, if possible. They're not human beings and they won't treat you like one. They're monsters. No mercy for it.
You know what does change though? Literally everything else around you. Just be true to yourself, you can be the only constant.
@@depshallburn If being true to yourself is lying, cheating and whatnot, sometimes it's better to suppress that and control yourself. A lot of people use "be true to yourself" as a reason to be utter cretins. Be a good person. that's a better saying.
Sometimes a person is overcome by sexual urges. I think most people can't last more than five or six years without sex in a relationship.
Women cheat for more evil reasons than men. For men thereʻs a larger influence from biology saying "spread your seed" 24/7 and for women it means theyʻve replaced your existence with a superior man. Women actually despise their partners when they cheat, whereas men generally donʻt and can actually love multiple women. Men are built for more love, ironically.
@@shin-ishikiri-no "Women actually despise their partners when they cheat, whereas men generally donʻt"
Have you heard of the word "cuck"? Because that's not how men "generally" feel, bud.
I love listening to jordan 👍👍
Good to get clarity on what he said about «enforced monogamy».
did he trigger you before snowflake?
enforcing the social norms is usually the job of the older women, they have opted out of that role. So what to do?
He and I are the same age. I love what he has to say and I agree with much he has to say but his thoughts on male/female relationships seems a bit antiquated at times and thus depressing
My wife and I have total trust for each other. When the world, relatives, kids, jobs etc. are not going well, my wife and I know we have each other’s back. There is nothing like giving yourself totally.
Sex became too easy and morals became forgotten and degeneracy has become normalized
Yep and now if you speak out against the modern degenerate world you’ll be ostracized
Well said
Peterson's description of a few men having an easy time bedding women vs most men having to work very hard or being rejected tallies with my personal experience, although access to women tends to improve as men get older. Rejection can take a heavy psychological toll on men, but it's an issue that's either not recognized or mocked by feminists.
It's mocked because it literally doesn't matter for human race as a whole. We are mammals. Mammals only filter out males, not females. We are not insects or fish. The real issue nowadays is people with health issue still living and procreating, making our species sicker as a whole.
Why would you want them at that point? Rejected when you're working hard to build a future....because they only want what you can give at the finish line. Its an enormous insult, frankly. Means you weren't worth growing a life with together.
@@RomanianBoyz because women can get pregnant, and if they don't have a good economical situation children suffer, don't be non responsible
Relationships are like a sidewalk with 4 different colored blocks you walk across, these blocks represent people. There's blue, for masculine men, red for feminine women, green for more feminine men and more masculine women, and silver being the legendary myth of prince charming on a white stallion that will take you away to a perfect life. Too many people go through life walking over every red, blue, and green square because they're too hyper focused on the non-existent silver square. Don't look over the people in your life, for some perfect illusion you have in your head. That's only going to hurt you, and those around you. Have standards, but don't expect perfection.
This is very underrated. You couldn’t have made a greater analogy about this
Money: job/of
attention: IG
protection: government
eggplant: tinder
company: beeta orbiters/foodie dates/female friends/pets
that's why monogamy is useless
useless until you turn 30, at which point you have lost a lot if the things you mention above, and the chance of finding a man to fulfil those desires is very low
to have monogamy you must have a form of Patriarchy.
For time immemorial it has been this way. The top men get access to far more women, particularly the most physically attractive ones. For women 18-24 a “top man” is determined mostly by his physical attractiveness and after that they determine them by their competence. This will never change no matter how much feminism we throw at it.
As a young man you must to accept this and understand you won’t get laid as much in your early 20’s(if you’re not a star athlete/stud etc.) but will get laid a lot later on if you can be even moderately successful. Show drive and determination and will. Women will flock to that especially after you turn 25! Always remember that you as the man are providing more in any potential relationship then a women and view yourself as the prize. Chicks you go on dates with/sleep with are interviewing for the dream job of being with you.
Yes. Once women clear that "18-24" hurdle, they become less picky.
if you want to destroy a society, tell women to fuck without consequences. You already see it in the west
tl;dr "Wait until they hit the wall and have been run through by the college, while you've been working hard and alone"
Great motivation. Thanks for reminding me I'm only worth what I can provide. Wonder why nobody's playing?
I’ll always fall on the side of people being free to do as they wish. Liberty should always be prioritized. However, I do see Jordan’s point. However, I already see monogamy enforced in the way he references. Most people are not in open relationships and most everyone I have encountered disapproves of cheating. The woes of society run far deeper than “we need more monogamy.”
its already "enforced" by women, it doesnt need to be specifically enforced
Going from partner to partner like you're at a buffet, even if you're not screwing them all a the same time, is still not monogamy. Monogamous relationships are long relationships, often lifelong ones, not, I'm only with this person, but only for, like, a few weeks or months or whatever, then they're yesterday's novelty and I'm looking for someone else to give me attention or sex.
Exactly. Whether people sleep around or not should be the last of our worries
_" liberty should always be prioritized."_ that's a fallacy, because it implies liberty is the greatest good, has modern society will all it's liberty produced the greatest good for individual _and_ collective?
the obviousness of the truth is the state of society itself at this very moment.
And yet the wealthy, powerful, and aristocratic have never practiced monogamy, at the very least, fidelity.
Nope, they look like they practice it
But after seeing vice exposes and eyes wide shut
And the yachts
Don’t fall for it
Nope. They've never needed to. Aristocratic marriages are business arrangements based on securing land and title. It is therefore tacitly understood that both parties in the marriage are not required to be faithful.
@@rejectionisprotection4448 Exactly. Different rules based on class structure. Some things never change; especially the denials of the ruling class.
That's a misconception. You probably with wealthy, powerful you mean celebrities. Because real wealth and power is all about family and stable relationships.
It's true that the landed gentry and aristocrats are all about keeping hold of their wealth and power via marriage.
However, marriage had nothing to do with love, but securing/extending land, property, wealth and political influence.
As compensation, adultery/infidelity was rife amongst the historically monied classes. However, the big taboo was wanting to marry someone of a lower class or race.
When a mixed race woman (Anglo - Nigerian) married into a British aristocratic family a few years ago and had a child, her mother in law accused her son of "sullying the bloodline".
Yes, this in the 21st century.
Great summary of what goes on with dating sites like Tinder. Tons of undesirable men. Very few desirable ones but a very frustrating experience if you ever match up with one of those. In the online dating game, the goodlooking white men are the ones with carte Blanche. They are desired by every ethnicity of women. It’s unfortunate the state of online dating.
I would also say a big part of the failure of relationships stems from women’s equality. We are no longer forced to remain in relationships for financial security whereas in the past, no matter how terrible the relationship was, the woman needed to stay in there literally for survival. That basic need caused women to put up with a lot of shit that they simply don’t need to put up with in this day and age. But men still seem to have the attitude that they don’t need to put forth as much effort in appearances. They let themselves recede, put on weight, go unshaven, don’t wear sunscreen or lotion their skin, and expect women to accept that. Well we don’t.
Would like to know his thoughts on the situation in China where there are so few woman compared to the male population. What will happen there in the next few years. Will woman have several husbands throughout life ? Another question why is there so much sexual violence among the military colleges ?
He already said it. The data suggests that violence increases when the supply/selection of women decreases
I think this may be supplemented by increased immigration and an increase in foreign wives in China, especially for wealthier Chinese people. China is an immensely xenophobic country and integration can be extremely complicated if not impossible for many, but if the alternative is a massive growth in suicide and violence by young men, I think China will accept it has to open up.
@@lif6737 soulless China
Thank God Many Countries exist
We must refute China and cut off relations with their government
I’d like to know that too about military colleges.
@@lif6737 They're doing that already; women are being induced/kidnapped from neighbouring countries.
(male 31 ) After many relationships where I was monogamous, the lifestyle made no sense to me and I felt weird resulting in a lot of mental problems overall. I realized that this is not who I am, but the idea of a non-monogamy life was not seen with good eyes in society and was hard to accomplish without hurting other people in the process. Even when I started explaining that I do not desire a long-term relationship from the start, the same thing happened over and over where the girl acted as if we should be in a monogamous lifestyle. Eventually, the sexual drive weakened and the cons were felt harder, so I started avoiding relationships as a whole because for me it was just not worth it. Mixed with the fact I do not desire offspring made things even harder for me to live in this society as a "normy". But luckily, I had other ways from which I can extract a lot of happiness and I did not turn into some toxic person, but I see the damage done to other people as they retreat into my hobbies and it pisses me off because I would like to be surrounded by happy humans :(
Something is wrong in the dating market for "normal " people and the demand is clearly there from the male side but the supply feels like it's only for a small percentage creating a lot of issues.
It's a thin line that one must make clear: "I do not seek to have a long-term relationship with only one person" might sound like "I wish to engage in sexual activities with multiple people" or even "If I enter in a monogamous relationship, I'm most likely to cheat eventually", which clearly sounds all kinds of wrong. Something of the kind "I enjoy being and wish to remain single, but don't mind the occasional hang outs and/or hook ups" already states you are not material for long-term relationship, but open possibilities for being friends or sex-friends. A sane person will respect that, but a "normal" person will criticize with all kinds of names and sayings that it's wrong. You own NOTHING to those people.
Also, as one gets older (specially women), the desire to find "the one" and retire from the dating market get stronger as they (referring to social studies statistics and such) are seen as "less attractive" and more likely to remain single as time goes by and die alone, which many are instinctively afraid of.
Some people are not meant to be monogamous (and I say this as a fully monogamous person). Each and every person is unique, and for there to be just one standard for everyone to meet is obviously going to cause issues. The problem I face as being on the far side of one end, is that when I'm committed, no one else matters (romantically or sexually), I am not attracted or tempted by others, I am fully in it, and I think finding another like that can be difficult. I have a friend who is only interested in open relationships, and for her, it has been a struggle to find another partner who is okay with that and also willing to live that lifestyle with her. We both have our own struggles, the only difference is my way of living isn't frowned upon like hers is. But we are both built the way we are, and we can't change that. The most important thing to remember is to never compromise on who you are or what you want, and I think the fact that you are honest with people upfront is a great, as not many others are like that. Good luck!
you are just human capable to have feelings for more than just the one , monogamy is a life style choice it is not DNA , it is natural to want more than just the one even when you choose to live a monogamy lifestyle that society has forced upon us , if you do choose non monogamy then that';s your lifestyle choice , people should mind their own business and keep their comments to themselves and if needs be you should tell them so (scottish from my mothers side living in holland) , I am a gemini, a free spirit , a free thinker , you cannot cage a gemini
you shouldn't let societal expectations rule or ruin your mental health ,trust your own judgment not what society or people think or tell you how you should feel or act
I want to be on this show. I’ve spoken on prescriptive monogamy for years.
Love your username! ☝️
@@GabrielleTollerson Appreciate you, Gabrielle.
The only woman I have a decent relationship with is my sister. The rest I just don't bother with. I assume every positive interaction I have with females is them putting on an act, and every negative interaction I have with a female as just another day. A girl I used to work with asked me out. I was 100% sure that it was a joke at first, since I don't go out of my way to talk to anyone, so I laughed at her. She was not happy and then everyone was a dick to me a week later when the rumor started spreading around that I laughed right in her face. I'd rather just not deal with women at all.
Wow you dogde a bullet there
That girl could have keep on pursuing and not say anything to the other staff
She was an attention seeker
I'm kinda the same way, I've seen and experienced women be fake to others, pretend and act certain ways etc, so I'm extremely cautious when it comes to interactions. Obviously anyone can do these things but I'd say you're best to keep them at arms length until they prove themselves to be genuine and then it's fine to open up
I would get rid of the Japanese cartoon profile pic. Being a weeb is not an attractive trait in a man.
@@kevinc8955 I mean if he's not looking for any women why would he?
Good for you! Being alone is not being lonely.
Its lobsters, all the way down
let him finish his sentences before you interject a question, especially him because his mind thinks in miles not inches.
I think the problem with modern Society is that while men own most benefits\ advantage (generally, women are right about this fact) of society compared to women as a whole, truth is, only a fracture of men are at the top of that beneficial status. With more women earning degrees and getting into workplace, being independent, the society is forming a pyramid, top with men, middle with women, bottom with a lot of men. As women tend to find better spouse, the chance of them being abused by the top men increases, hence feeling unfair in society. As for the bottom men, the only way to get out is to work extremely hard or connect/ cheat their way to the top. Which in reality, statistically, most guys will fail. There seems no solution I think. The closest one would be for women to date down while bottom men trying their best to work up within what's possible to them(which mostly won't send them to the top).
That will not work. 1) It goes against nature of humans. 2) It most likely goes against laws of thermodynamic as well. I would say best solution is just for men to stop being obsessed with relationships and so and find something better to busy themselves. I know it is hard, but it is achievable and requires far less energy and causes far less problems.
It is no good now, but it was NOT better before (referring to a lot of comments I read, not saying that’s what Jordan believes per se) Humans have been problematic since the dawn of time. Enforced monogamy might keep society more stable, but it doesn’t make it safe. Especially for women who historically had no other option but to wed to survive. There should be other socially acceptable family structures other than man/wife traditional marriage because you don’t need that dynamic to love someone unconditionally or have children which are the two greatest gifts we have as humans. I am grateful that I live in a time where I can take care of myself financially while I work to discover who I really am as a woman and individual. There are many countries where women still don’t have that right.
petersons suit looks so nice
Alot of these "undeserving" men are decent guys and decent looking who make more then enough money to raise a kid or 2, but ALL women seem to want the guy who makes 6 figures in the hot car and big house. I agree with jordan about men should avoid pornography, work on themselves emotionally, work on there hygiene, focus on a healthy career/life balance, but some of these girls man...I'm sorry but there are good men out there being left single, and it isnt because there ugly or poor because they arent. Don't forget we are ALL living like kings compared to guys in third world countries.
This focus on 6 figures is a new phenomona. go back 70-150 years and you see higher marriage rates. lower rates of divorce and people were much happier and they had a much higher poverty rate. Why? because they understood money doesn't bring happiness.
@@bradwhitt6768
They had lower rates of divorce because women had no options to leave. They had to stay married as their husband supported them.
Marriages didn't last because people were happt
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Both you and Brad are stating opinions and theories. Neither of you will be any better than the other until you provide an argument based on both reason and evidence.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 They did last because people were happy. Because the people in the marriage appreciated each other. There was division of labor. Two individuals didn't compete with each other in those marriages. Today women are competeing to be men. No women didn't have to get married or even stay married. They did it not because they had to but because the alternative was no one is happy and everyone does all the work. You try chopping wood for heat. You try going to a well for water. You try plowing a field. Marriage doesn't work today because the roles men and women play are not what they should be. Women try to be men and men don't want another man in the house. Men try to be men and it's sexist or not good enough because she wants more. They were far more poor than we are today but far happier. Money, status, job title don't bring happiness. I can tell from your responses how bitter you are. It's sad. You've bought a lie and now you're miserable. Stop buying the lie.
@Hayve Bromier
You want evidence? It's historical. Read up on it.
Just like the great philosopher Ron Burgundy said...
- 'My apartment smells of rich monogamy'
That is debatable
Where two people are happy, there is responsibility and understanding, there will not be room for thirds.
people have to feel comfortable being honest with someone in order for them to be honest and that is precisely the problem telling the truth is rarely without judgment or consequence which is WHY people lie, lie about sex, politics, religion and or any opinion on anything
In Christian circles, many women marry down in class to get a devout mate. If course, they want a stable breadwinner, but the guy may be from a blue collar background and the girl from a more efucated, prosperous families. This kind of coupling is probably seen in any group that doesn't want the members marrying outsiders.
So it has regressed to the time where we had warlords and tribes and only those lords got the females.
Strangely going back to medieval or even earlier times is something that plenty of people dreamed about. Or so it seems.
Give that man some water bro, you had Mr.J.P choking in the end 😂
Check a terapist call Ster Perel, she talks about New chalenges in relationships, and the culture in this time we live. interesante.