You are too afraid of everything. Just let go and do all the things you want to don't think about it, I use to be the same and not going to lie I am still making changes but what I realized is that you just have to let go don't worry about what might and might not happen, don't even think just do it. The more you think the more afraid you become and you start making excuses. Don't rely on motivation, do it even when you don't feel like it. Making changes is difficult I know this from experience, I had to hit rock bottom to finally wake up, the truth is you cannot change with thought alone, you need to act it out only then you can believe that you can do it, only then you can become the person you want to be not with thought but with action.
I feel like you’re the male version of me! I’m 21 too and never had a bf and turning 22 this year. I went to an all-girls school for 7 years until 18 and I don’t have any guy friends. As embarrassing as it sounds, I genuinely don’t know how to talk to guys. In fact, I graduated University this year and left having never made a single guy friend in my entire time there. Confidence is also an issue of mine, I struggle with it a lot (I’m 5’0 and often get called “little girl”) Another thing, I always fantasise about having a boyfriend and what being in a relationship feels like but like you, I also don’t like change. Hate it actually. I was in a similar situation where I ended up ghosting a guy that was interested in me mainly because he was always texting me and I struggled to find the words to reply to him. Sucks honestly but yeah I definitely need change, to put myself out there more, actually socialise with guys, get my drivers license, move out… omg the list goes on.
OMG, it's actually crazy how similar your story is to mine!, but yeah, i do believe that regardless of the outcome, working in ourselves is the right thing to do, even though just starting is already overwhelming 💀
@@lezui yeah absolutely but I'm sure you’ll do amazing as you keep working on yourself, besides, you’re honestly a really attractive guy so don’t let those doubts hold you back 👍🏻 good luck and pls keep us updated!
bro there is the oppertunity to go abroad, girls are mostly nicer, better looking and super welcoming. And what I like the most about it is that you get to start over. Not meaning that you should pretend to be someone you are not, but a fresh breath of air can be amazing and life-changing. Just an option. Good luck, youll figure it out!!
Same here, 21 years old as well. I dont know if it's just fate or if its my fault. And my friends, both male and female of same age range (old people don't count and you know why), always comment every once in a while that they are surprised that I've never had romantic experience because I look relatively attractive. At times it gives me confidence, at times I feel like theyre just lying to make me feel better. I started getting into fashion and even male makeups to polish my appearance just to have a chance. But no amount of effort got me anywhere. People say I'm just picky, but really, it's just so hard to find someone that deep down is on the same wavelength as I am. I think you're right, I too am afraid of reaching out. Growing up, I've encountered many couples in friends and relatives becoming so toxic over time. And unsurprisingly, they are the kind of people that are 'popular'. It's not fair to call people like us picky when we just wanna find someone that we can see ourselves in a long term relationship with.
Lezui, change now change today be more outgoing go to local events, don't decide they aren't for you I decided to just go, I signed up on Tinder, and having positive contact with a woman I never had to cold approach her, and we are going to go out soon when she lets me know she has some time as I agreed upon with her after offering to do it tomorrow I'm not sure if she will be free, but hoping for the best. I was exactly like you, except I wasn't making excuses, I was doing other things to distract myself since it felt easier, but at the cost of my own mental health I haven't felt better since last week when I decided I'm just going to go, and talk to people and make changes. It is not entirely your fault, but does it matter if it is your fault if your actions still cause you to be miserable? No, you have to change either way.
Be careful what you wish for dude. You get short moments of pleasure/fun in exchange for hours of emotional and psychological torture a lot of the time when you are with a woman. Don’t believe the hype that having a woman is the ultimate state of being or happiness,
Man you gotta remember..you are 21 not 41. Achieve everything you can while you are in 20s 30s ..Enjoy play achieve sleep eat good and repeat.A person will come along eventually. If not then also its okay to eat pastry on first class❤❤❤
You need to level yourself up. Back in college highschool I had the same mind set. When I started going to the gym and working on myself, woman started noticing. And I got my first girlfriend after college 😀
If you're gonna go with the prettyboy hair you gotta SHAVE and have clean skin bro. You're actually a pretty good looking dude, put in some effort into your appearance and you'll be good
It sounds like you need God more than women right now. If you don't want it bad enough you wont get it. You must do the things you don't want to do to become the person you want to become, not even God can save you from your monumental laziness. If you go to the gym consistently for 6 months at least 5 days per week, eat healthy unprocessed foods, read the Bible daily, work on a skill that can bring you more income, and you don't feel confident about yourself then something went seriously wrong along the way. Trust in God, he has someone special for you just keeping rowing and God will steer you. No need to rush the process, trust it. Don't start going to them gym "soon", start NOW, you must stay consistent brother. There is no such thing as motivation, only discipline which is built by doing the things you DONT want to do. You must BECOME the person that lives your "dreams". DONT LET YOUR DREAMS GO TO THE GRAVEYARD WITH YOU, GOD GIVES YOU THOSE DREAMS FOR A REASON CHASE THEM BROTHER. Proverbs 18:1
You are too afraid of everything. Just let go and do all the things you want to don't think about it, I use to be the same and not going to lie I am still making changes but what I realized is that you just have to let go don't worry about what might and might not happen, don't even think just do it. The more you think the more afraid you become and you start making excuses. Don't rely on motivation, do it even when you don't feel like it. Making changes is difficult I know this from experience, I had to hit rock bottom to finally wake up, the truth is you cannot change with thought alone, you need to act it out only then you can believe that you can do it, only then you can become the person you want to be not with thought but with action.
johan based
Oh you ate that for real
I feel like you’re the male version of me! I’m 21 too and never had a bf and turning 22 this year. I went to an all-girls school for 7 years until 18 and I don’t have any guy friends. As embarrassing as it sounds, I genuinely don’t know how to talk to guys. In fact, I graduated University this year and left having never made a single guy friend in my entire time there. Confidence is also an issue of mine, I struggle with it a lot (I’m 5’0 and often get called “little girl”) Another thing, I always fantasise about having a boyfriend and what being in a relationship feels like but like you, I also don’t like change. Hate it actually. I was in a similar situation where I ended up ghosting a guy that was interested in me mainly because he was always texting me and I struggled to find the words to reply to him. Sucks honestly but yeah I definitely need change, to put myself out there more, actually socialise with guys, get my drivers license, move out… omg the list goes on.
OMG, it's actually crazy how similar your story is to mine!, but yeah, i do believe that regardless of the outcome, working in ourselves is the right thing to do, even though just starting is already overwhelming 💀
@@lezui yeah absolutely but I'm sure you’ll do amazing as you keep working on yourself, besides, you’re honestly a really attractive guy so don’t let those doubts hold you back 👍🏻 good luck and pls keep us updated!
Damn you sound like my type fr 😂
bro there is the oppertunity to go abroad, girls are mostly nicer, better looking and super welcoming. And what I like the most about it is that you get to start over. Not meaning that you should pretend to be someone you are not, but a fresh breath of air can be amazing and life-changing. Just an option. Good luck, youll figure it out!!
Same here, 21 years old as well. I dont know if it's just fate or if its my fault. And my friends, both male and female of same age range (old people don't count and you know why), always comment every once in a while that they are surprised that I've never had romantic experience because I look relatively attractive. At times it gives me confidence, at times I feel like theyre just lying to make me feel better. I started getting into fashion and even male makeups to polish my appearance just to have a chance. But no amount of effort got me anywhere. People say I'm just picky, but really, it's just so hard to find someone that deep down is on the same wavelength as I am. I think you're right, I too am afraid of reaching out. Growing up, I've encountered many couples in friends and relatives becoming so toxic over time. And unsurprisingly, they are the kind of people that are 'popular'. It's not fair to call people like us picky when we just wanna find someone that we can see ourselves in a long term relationship with.
Lezui, change now change today be more outgoing go to local events, don't decide they aren't for you I decided to just go, I signed up on Tinder, and having positive contact with a woman I never had to cold approach her, and we are going to go out soon when she lets me know she has some time as I agreed upon with her after offering to do it tomorrow I'm not sure if she will be free, but hoping for the best.
I was exactly like you, except I wasn't making excuses, I was doing other things to distract myself since it felt easier, but at the cost of my own mental health I haven't felt better since last week when I decided I'm just going to go, and talk to people and make changes.
It is not entirely your fault, but does it matter if it is your fault if your actions still cause you to be miserable? No, you have to change either way.
never had a gf til 25, its normal, dont worry about it too much
That's not normal
that's abnormal
@@CallofDuty927 Sounds like a you problem.
@@VVabsa sounds like you got triggered cuz u found urself innit
@@CallofDuty927 Now you are projecting.
Stop focusing on things you can't control. Focus on what you can control.
Be careful what you wish for dude. You get short moments of pleasure/fun in exchange for hours of emotional and psychological torture a lot of the time when you are with a woman.
Don’t believe the hype that having a woman is the ultimate state of being or happiness,
Man you gotta remember..you are 21 not 41.
Achieve everything you can while you are in 20s 30s ..Enjoy play achieve sleep eat good and repeat.A person will come along eventually. If not then also its okay to eat pastry on first class❤❤❤
You look good, how tall are u?
5'3" he said
@@M.TTT. BROOOOOOOOOOOOOTAL
It's over
@@M.TTT. its joever
that's the reason unfortunately
You just like me fr fr.
You need to level yourself up. Back in college highschool I had the same mind set. When I started going to the gym and working on myself, woman started noticing. And I got my first girlfriend after college 😀
Where did u meet her if u mind me asking?
@@ixmar9994 Gym! 😀
I'm 33 and I've never had a girlfriend
If you're gonna go with the prettyboy hair you gotta SHAVE and have clean skin bro. You're actually a pretty good looking dude, put in some effort into your appearance and you'll be good
It sounds like you need God more than women right now. If you don't want it bad enough you wont get it. You must do the things you don't want to do to become the person you want to become, not even God can save you from your monumental laziness. If you go to the gym consistently for 6 months at least 5 days per week, eat healthy unprocessed foods, read the Bible daily, work on a skill that can bring you more income, and you don't feel confident about yourself then something went seriously wrong along the way. Trust in God, he has someone special for you just keeping rowing and God will steer you. No need to rush the process, trust it. Don't start going to them gym "soon", start NOW, you must stay consistent brother. There is no such thing as motivation, only discipline which is built by doing the things you DONT want to do. You must BECOME the person that lives your "dreams". DONT LET YOUR DREAMS GO TO THE GRAVEYARD WITH YOU, GOD GIVES YOU THOSE DREAMS FOR A REASON CHASE THEM BROTHER.
Proverbs 18:1
Uh huh
this
true.
Myself 22, never had
I feel sad for you brother i know what that feels i am 35 now thou i am happy 😂😂
You have a weird feminine energy but are not ugly at all, change the style and lift some iron you will be fine. 🤷♂
@@advancedmonkey7702 it's probably the hair 💀, but yeah I think you're right, building up some muscle is a must ☝️
I turned 23 and never been in a relationship. It's just okay I guess 😅
@@Sarcastic-Insann As long as you're happy with your life, I don't think being single is a problem tbh
I am 27YO. Same here. xD