Dating issues can be summed up by the wise words of a pimp I once knew: “people struggle with dating because they choose to chase after people who don’t want them instead of focusing on the ones that do.” Dating is EASY when you choose the person who chooses you over everyone else
@@HXCORNERSTONE looking for better options tend to cause people to run out if time if they want to establish something. I guess either settle in the beginning or the end but you will eventually settle.
@Pernell Moore, yeah but You and I understand that because we are men. Most woman is not going to understand or they choose to not understand what you just said. That’s why we keep telling them we are different then they are. We think differently, we move and act differently then they do!!
Part 2..... They are falling into the same exact trap most of us did in our 20s . It gotta be the man that we like more than in reverse. It will be a dry spell in your life where the roles will definitely get flipped and you'll be the one triple texting because the men you meet will soon treat themselves like they're the prize. Yall don't see it now, but please know when to cash in and leave the casino before you start losing and goin into debt trying to win the jackpot.
I'm glad you recognized. They won't really understand until they're in their mid-to-late thirties and then by then it'll be too late. It's crazy because overwhelming majority of women in my family ( too many to name and too many to count) are single. From the ones in the early twenties the ages of 32 are going from relationship to relationship. From the ones 32 to 45 they get a man to come their way every once in a blue moon and the closer you get to that age of 45 the longer it seems the drought is ( meaning the closer you get to 45 having a relationship becomes non-existent) 45 and up you might as well Kiss It Goodbye. One thing that women do wrong as they can point out to one or two examples of someone older getting married but they don't look at the bigger picture. Out of all the women my big family that are 45 and older. Only two got married past the age of 45. And only one is "seeing" a guy there are 10 immediate Auntie's that I have as well as my mother so if you do the math they pretty much lineup with the statistical numbers.
@@raeRenae1 it's very sad. It gets to a point where there's no one around and they want someone in the home with them that a couple of them have decided to become foster parents. And four of them never had children of Their Own and they don't have any medical conditions. My mom just passed from covid August 19th it was a sudden death she had seven of us and only one of us actually live in the state that she lived in she didn't have anyone with her when she passed at her home. I had another Auntie that died a month later she didn't have any kids but some of the sisters lived up the road so she were able to have her sisters around. But it was sad because she was happy she had her family around but we all knew she wish she had her own family. I say that to say the day-to-day life when you are older from what I've seen from the women in my family it's not very happy I do notice that it is not as bad when you have family members that live close to you meaning y'all live in the same city or not too far from each other where y'all can see each other at least a couple times a week but you still got to go home to an empty house every day and that does play a role for them. And it does get worse if you don't live close and if you don't have your own children. But then once the children are out of the home like a few of my aunties after that it's go to work come home and be by yourself day in and day out. I definitely wish I could turn back the hands of time for them because I know and some have told me that they would definitely do it over again. But I've noticed that they never have those type of conversations with the younger females in my family and the younger females don't pay attention and notice that they are doing the same things that the older females did when they were younger 50 the path that they are going down and to see what they will most likely end up in the latter years of their lives.
If you are being casual ladies, please prevent pregnancy. You have an advantage when you don’t have children. It’s a different ball game when you start having kids. Be selective with your womb. Be selective with who you decide to procreate with. We also all make mistakes. Hold yourself and your vagina accountable and just do better when mistakes happen. It’s much easier to heal and make better decisions after.
Part 1..... I just wanna say , when your young like these women you think you have all your life to get it right , when you don't. I want them to realize your not gonna be the hottest one on the scene with many options the entire time. Please drop this "I have my whole life" narrative because you don't.
28:00 sacrifice was the right word .. putting your life on the line to bring a man's child into this world is not what you call a compromise. That's literally the definition of a sacrifice. Don't let this patriarchy belittle those sacrifices women have to make to populate this Earth because is normal/natural.. its still very gruesome and tragic, especially for black women.
We literally put our lives on the line daily protecting the entire house and everyone in it. If there's a bump in the night you're not going to the basement to investigate. The Man is and he's expected to take bullets or whatever may come for his family. Btw, you share the child. Its not just his or yours.
Then men will find woman who want to be mothers and not just a woman who has a husband. This is crazy to believe that with the medicine that has completely changed the rate in which woman have complications during birth and yet your ego is what more important then family. But yet you will will preach how strong and. Independent you all are lmao
Ma'am overwhelming majority of women do not put their life on the line when they are giving birth. In the United States is like 26 out of 100000 live births women giving birth pass away in 2019 you there was 3.7 million birth. If 26 women die every 100,000 births that is not a lot. So you are not putting your life on the line when you are giving birth. That statement that you made was true before modern medicine but you do not have the right to claim something that is no longer relevant
I think both groups (Men and Women) will look back at these interviews in years to come and realize how they had a lot to learn. It's one of the beauties of growing older you realize your mistakes when you were young 🖤. The young lady in the black shirt is the younger version of me.
Yes and I think the idea is to take time and don’t rush because it’s better to fail at dating then failing at a broken family. We need to encourage counseling in our community especially before even dating.
@@Eisawithlove What we claim to want tends to be in direct conflict with who we are. However, in a time of "you can do no wrong sis" the self-reflection and honesty necessary for actual growth and maturity either never happen or happen when its too late for some of our sistas😢
I watched the men’s discussion and now I’m watching the women’s I find it very interesting that the men kept speaking social being part of the dating struggle and I notice the women didn’t mention that at all, but now the media pumps that women fall short to social in the dating aspect or as far as being in a relationship. To me it’s showing that the insecurities with social media is really coming from the men.
I came across the guys talk first. They seemed a bit older, but I don't recall them saying their age. I wish the ladies were older, 30s, with just a bit more life experiences.
@@kimberlyjackson8064 Okay. I'm sure I missed some things. I know I had about 20 minutes left when I stopped watching the video. The guy on the far right seemed the most mature to me, but you're right.
@@MichelleNgome and he was the youngest! I think everyone we had on were mature in their own right, but they all had immature thoughts at times. It’s crazy because we learned that maturity has no age and is not a, “you gave it or you don’t,” it is honestly very nuanced.
Part 3.... The sexy fine man with his stuff together will not I repeat will NOT chase you , double text, or beg you for anything including 😼.. why? Because he definitely know he's a catch and you too will be in rotation. You ladies expect the top teir man to act like the 1 teir man that you look pass on a daily when that's basically practicing cognitive dissonance. If you continue down this road you will end up so single that desperation will kick in and you will find yourself on the opposite end and also treating the teir 1 level guy like he's the top teir level guy. Again know when to cash in ladies.
I enjoyed this episode so much! Thank you all for sharing. I do think it's interesting that the men had no problem saying that they would or already do date outside their race even the man who said he wanted a Black woman was in my opinion acting a little torn but the women said no dating/marrying outside of their race hard stop, not a doubt in their mind. I think this really shows that most Black women are way more dedicated to the Black community than the men are 👀.
But let's be honest though, I doubt it's as easy for blk women to date outside their race even if they wanted to. Yall got the reputation of being difficult, argumentative etc., any man of any race don't want to deal with that.
@@Anthony-tg7il I don't think those stereotypes are the issue I think it's hard for us to let go of the idea and social desire to have Black love, so when men of other races pursue us we're not interested. There are many other reasons but I think that's the main one. I know quite a few Black women who date outside of their race and they didn't have any issues at all attracting men of all races, even the ones who are not very warm and inviting, the men still pursued them. We are way more desirable than you think. ☺️
@@Anthony-tg7il those stereotypes you just named are upheld by black men. White men and men from other communities don’t that that issue with black women whilst married to them. If you rub shoulders and elbows with enough white men who are married to black women they’ll laugh at those age old sayings. Black women would be too much to men who offer too little. It is what it is. I hope more black women will date out and open their options. They’ll be much happier. “Black Love” is one sided and anything that’s one sided is never healthy.
I was wondering if anyone was going to point this out in the comments. Ghosting is not only immature but it's cowardly, disrespectful and cruel. I don't know how it became such a normalized thing for some people to treat other human beings that way. I may not have experienced it myself but I can imagine it's very hurtful to be connecting one day and suddenly be cut off the next without warning, explanation, closure or apology. Downright rude.
I remember praying to God about my future husband and I was getting specific (because they tell you to make it plain) but the longer I prayed the more I started to think...what if that isn't even God's plan for my life? My prayer started to change more into God whatever your Will is, just show my heart when I've met the person You have for me because I just be talking but I don't know nothing lol. I learned to prefer peace over preference. I pray these beautiful ladies will do the same.
I wrote down what I want but my prayers are different. My grandma prays that God brings me a good man but I pray that I’m prepared to see the man that He has for me.
How do I get on this podcast.. I date like a pro .. the money, gifts, trips, all of that - no sugar... idk why yall think you need to exchange your bodies for these things. Thats really a horrible mentality
Ommgg are you accepting any students? I'm serious I'm 31, single, no children, 2 degrees and I've been the "nice girl" ever since I started dating at 18. I'm ready to use what the good LORD gave me as a woman without exchanging my body ever again.
Yea y’all brainwashed. Saying a man is wrong for not wanting to date darker skinned black women is wrong but in the same breath you’ll say you won’t date a lighter skinned black man. The colorism runs deep in our community on BOTH side
Exactly 💯 that's is the reason why no one takes "colorism" seriously. Most desirable men prefer light skinned women with good hair. Also, most disirable women like dark-skinned men with good genetics.Ain't nothing wrong with that at all.
Rooting for you all Nice suggestion : for the panel we can use more variety in age group(30) which will provide different perspectives and wisdom in these areas. (Unless that’s not a goal for the channel) Keep up the good work 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
32 now. Did a lot of dating over the years. Trips, expensive gifts, monetary gift etc… I always thought I could do better and get more. I’m pretty sure I missed out on my husband. Currently still get a lot of attention and could date more but it’s all infatuation in my opinion
If you aint getting a good man in your own circle then the problem isn't the men, its you. The same goes for men who think dating out is a some magical cure to your problem.Get your mind right first and then watch things change around you.
@Babyface Nelson I disagree with you bro. I can get a 9/10 in Brazil and dare you to find a damn 7 in America that will match the treatment from the Brazilian…🤷🏽♂️
FYI; "When dating, you have to do just that, "DATE"!!!! Don't date with expectations because people are people. It's not good to date with a motive. Allow people to be people without a title. If it is meant to be it will fall in place.
Naturally and realistically, everyone has expectations. They just vary person to person. “Don’t date with expectations” almost seems as a defense mechanism. I think the narrative should be to know how to handle yourself and others when your expectations aren’t met.
Watching this makes me realize it’s not just me. Well I’m in my late 30s and have kids now. Honestly I didn’t understand the idea of vetting. All the married couples I knew made me fear being married. I never looked at it as a priority. Always wanted to just be successful because I felt I couldn’t rely on a man. But I am heterosexual so I wanted sex and I thought I was in love and got pregnant unplanned. It didn’t work out because of abuse and I only dated after because I had a kid and realized It would be better to be a whole family. But honestly if I never had kids I don’t think I’d feel like I’m missing nothing. Relationships I’ve had always seemed to be waste of time and a setback. But Ik now I wasn’t consciously dating. Dating with a purpose is necessary wish I’d known that earlier. My second relationship I left because I knew I just wasn’t going to be happy. He loves me but Ik I can’t be with him because I don’t love him that way. I honestly think I’m traumatized and don’t trust my heart/my life with anyone. I literally just realized how unhealthy this is typing this. But I’m content focusing on my children. I can’t focus on the pass but for the young ladies I advise if you want kids or even want to have sex learn to pick wisely and don’t entertain men you know you don’t see being your husband. It’s just pointless and if you have kids some settle just for the sake of it. I’m not settling but I can understand why some do it. Btw I don’t mean settling as if the men aren’t worth it I mean you just stick with one because of situation. I’m just going to tough it out lol. I’m too old to lose again lmao 🤣
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and perception. This is so informative for us. I agree dating with a purpose and true intentions is a game changer especially the older we/people get. Whatever it is, rather it’s single or married we pray you find the ultimate happiness.
Sister, I'm both sorry to read this and happy you are self aware. I can feel your sincerity in your post. I wish I could give you a hug. Honestly, I think your situation isn't much different from my mother's, of course I don't know all the details, but I know I wasn't planned. I still deal with the effects of that, by no fault of my own.
I’ve watched some of both parts excuse me that I haven’t watched all but I like how the host @ about 35:00 min in she opened about her husband who she’s been with for 7 years open up about a time when he was expressing his emotions and feelings and she didn’t know how to reciprocate and sort of looked at her man as if he’s supposed to be not so emotional, y’all this is the reason a lot the times we don’t express our emotions in relationships or in dating as men and also this ruins a communication barrier of the relationship when you can’t express this from both sides but at the end of the day women are to nurture women are natural care providers and our women must be able to reciprocate our emotions and energy if we as men are vulnerable to express them
You are absolutely correct. I think our community has a lot of unlearning to do & that is something I had to unlearn and actually welcome in our marriage. Emotions aren’t exclusive to gender, all humans have them and to expect anything different is unrealistic! Thanks for the comment 🤎
@@cartierwhite_lasvegas Nah almost all black men love and prefer sisters. It’s just black women’s wants outweighs their options. And black women are the only group choosing to be alone if you look at the marriage rates. Just like this young lady (who’s 5’4”) said she really only wants a guy 6’ or taller, which eliminates 85% of her options. Realistically does she have the option to have her pick of the top 15% of men??? Reality will show her 🤷🏽♂️
I honestly have chosen to work on myself and allow God to change me from the inside out, and make me a wife for the man he has for me. I got tired of making the same mistakes, and I was tired of begging all the wrong people to love me. So I tried God. And though it’s been challenging, I love this version of myself way more than the other version ❤❤❤❤❤ I’ve seen God for the first time and he’s beautiful. I’m human, I still desire to be married, but I’m not thirsty for it, I’m thirsty to know who I am in God and to God. Period.
If a man says he does not want a FAT WOMAN he is ridiculed and criticized and accused of Body shaming a woman. But all through this interview women said they don't want a short man something he cannot change but it was fine it Or a broke man the hypocrisy was real in this interview . This is why you need a male perspective nothing was challenged.
No love no point. You only have to get it right once. All of us single and alone people suffer from ego trips, get humble and pick a loving moral person who will stay with you and acknowledge your efforts for them. Life is hard and it can get harder. IMHO
Having you been out looking for that lately . I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone, men and women are trying to do. Morals have pretty much gone out the window with hook up culture and social media.
Really good conversations in this video… I loved the different perspectives. Dating is just different these days and we are learning how to maneuver through it honestly.
I really hope you're not living your life off advice from any of these women.. They're in a hole and don't even know it but still digging.... No accountability just blaming men for all their problems
I love this so much!!!!! I really appreciate how this podcast focuses on realistic topics surrounding us young black people. Keep up the fantastic work :) love all the way from Cali
Counseling and learning self should be a top priority in our community especially for women. Because if we switch the narrative men have to step up it’s just inevitable. God bless the next generation🙏🏾🙌🏾
@@LiveEventsTV_ I doubt that because most men in our community only date outside their race when they have status/money. If black women stopped supporting them up they’ll lose their value. Usually there’s a black woman that helped them get that status. Which is a problem, women usually black women stick by men that don’t deserve it. So like Learn to stay focused on self improvement and teach them indirectly how to man up on their own. Technically some women “manned” up for the man. In my opinion the quality of black men is lower because they cursed themselves by not taking pride in their own women. Black men not all but compared to others don’t even see the value in the black woman. And it’s embarrassing tbh I didn’t date black men for years. But always wanted a black man. I found it hard to respect them. But I feel sorry for them and our community. It’s so embarrassing to see the outright disrespect televised and online. I had bad experiences with black men/boys but I’d never talk bad about a black man to my ex. It just didn’t sit well, but in private with black women I’d vent. I acknowledge the frustrations of some men. But it’s become a trend to bash black women and use them until they get the prize. I think it’s time to stop supporting them fr. They need counseling
@@raeRenae1 the difference is even the avg black man making 50k is considered wealthy overseas. Dominican Republic, Columbia etc. If black women just raised their standards those men would just go overseas more. The world is black American mens standard now, not what black women set anymore 🤷🏽♂️
You can literally be everything on a woman's list but short and she will not give you the time of day. Women say that being with tall men allows them to feel protected and wear heels which are no factors that lead to a proposal or lifelong marriage. Furthermore being tall doesn't mean you can fight. And height doesn't make you bulletproof. And if he is not praying with you or reading the bible with you he is not protecting you spiritually. If he is cheating, lying, and abusing you he is not protecting you emotionally. And if he doesn't have a job, no debt, and no emergency savings he is not protecting you financially. Women need to know what protection really means.
the one in the brown shirt seemed mature. the other 2, especially in the one in the white jacket seems REALLY immature. I think it's best that she takes a minute to grow a bit.
Both this episode and the single men episode are absolutely amazing for so many reasons. One being both hosts being super intelligent and engaging, another being the honest people you have in both episodes, along with the most beautiful chemistry you have with them. I loved all of this
Instagram and social media was the worst thing that could of ever happened to women. These ladies coming across men wanting to marry them and they genuinely don't feel like they missed anything. Cause there's always a bigger better deal it seems. Some guy who just wants box will take these ladies on trips/boats and they probably think that same guy was a legitimate option when they're getting played. The math on men who will legitimately take a women seriously, have their ish together, and you have that fire/chemistry is nanotechnology type small lol. And the timer is running down. That one girl who wants 7 kids, that's all math. You basically need a decade for that to happen, unless twins happen, so if youre trying to do that before things are dangerous at 35, that process should be happening at 25 at the latest. But you still haven't even MET THE GUY YET! And thats a very specific kind of guy who wants that many kids in this day and age... Funny thing is, if I was a woman getting a million likes, dms, ad approached etc each day, ironically I'd probably fall in the same trap.
Whats sad is that these ladies are in their 20's. Dating problems used to be for women in their late 30's on up. These ladies favorite female r&b singer/rapper is the main cause !!!
OK ladies I am 42 but I just fell in love with all four of you!! You ladies are so funny 😆 But yet very articulate and smart! I really enjoyed watching this podcast I have now subscribed thank you ladies I had a good time!
I’ve sent my cashapp to see if a man was serious about getting to know me even if he wasn’t it’s a win win. It wasn’t agreeing to the date it’s agreeing to engage until I choose not to. It’s mostly in fun but they DO pay ladies. I also do this because men usually hold their money as close as we hold our bodies.
Don't complain about men options and attitudes about dating. When majority of women look down on the average man earning $45000 annually. There are plenty of average men that want to be in a good relationship. How about women admit a man's money is the most important thing.
21:02 Always get to know the boy... to understand the man that is im front of you. I picked this up around 25 yrs old... I realized a lot of my assets(intellectually) came from me simply being a kid. And the same for habits that font serve me, they started when I was young. You have to be able to look at yourself in 3rd person.... or even have some self awareness (and expand that overtime) to look back and utilize that information to create a better you now, vs tomorrow
It seems to me a lot of men and women did not listen to gain. But heard to every point that they found fault with. We do not know these young ladies but if you listened you could learn something. This is said from a grown man not a young boy who has only lived for 20 or so years. Learn to listen and then speak. Well done young ladies. And no one said they date five dudes.
Hold up, hold up, didn't two of the women say they date about 5 guys at once and then begin to shame the men for dating five women at once, the double standard huh?
I think unfortunately, too many of our women over-value themselves, their actual options and how much time they really have until the wall. It's sad actually😢 Most of our women are not relationship/monogamy material but think it's what they want.
It is not that we 'over-value' ourselves. It is just that men like you use this imaginary 'wall' to try and shame us into accepting the bare minimum and less. Maybe we are just over-valuing too many of our (internet) men🤔😉
@@graceedozie6649 Shaming has always been apart of our community not of recent geberations. Doing what you want is cool but accept the life decisions one makes....that is what is missing
@Grace Edozie "the wall" is simply a moniker used to identify the fact that our society devalues women from a mate selection standpoint as they age. This isn't explicitly men's fault; it's just our reality. I tend not to argue with reality.
The only men that control the dating market are the top tier that most of y'all want which is why u find yourself competing if u dont want to compete date down and quit complaining there's plenty of men that will give the exclusivity that u want y'all just don't want them which is why women really control the dating market not men the delusion is real
When ol girl in the middle said “I mean…this may sound toxic but he gon have to use his whole. $50k” 🤣 I almost choked on my food. I needed that laugh.
Average black man in America makes 40k is 5’9 and works in blue collar! Average black woman is 190 lbs 5’4 works for the government or retail makes 36K. Black demographics! I love ❤️ black women! Black families!
Cite your sources Sir, and you forgot to add the average black man's weight, and what are the parameters for these "stats" you mention? Like what age groups in your demographics are you looking at? Is the man 50 and the woman 20? I work for the Gov't and make 6 figures, I'm married, 5'4" 150lbs and I already had a child when I met my husband...
She's taken it too deep. The moment you feel safe with someone or the moment you feel safe the man or girl you will be able to let your hair down aka femininity
This was really good but would have been better with different age ranges of women. I am not sure why the one girl who doesn’t date with no experience was selected but the other 2 ladies were very informative!
The lady in the brown top was describing hypergamy when she mentioned the guy she wants has options. Her and many others choose the same small percentage of men. And then those men's behavior gets represented as the whole. Not the case.
See when she said "would you cut off all 5 dudes spending money" That is the major point but the difference is most of the guys with all those options will always get easy sex which is all they really want
@@ccdew86 everyone falls differently man. It can and it cant. It Varies . And thats what I look for/attract. If it ain't on sight. Im already side eyeing... and that's okay. Cause Ima speak up about it. Like how money should easily come out of my pockets to pay for a date with you right. . . So me, as the catch, should get some in return. Put gas in my whip or make out... some... show me some sort of investment. Time is one aspect and we both put that forward. Times have changed. Courting to. Paying for everything was when women were brought up to be house wives and taking care of the family ( she wasnt expected to work or do any heavy lifting) A lot of women work for themselves now. Some women work out now a days. So I cant court like the olden days. Cause they arent olden girls. My best dates and ships have been a woman letting me know shes earned her keep by displaying she can take care herself fiscally. Its nonsense any dude should "just come" outta pocket. . . My hard working ethics is tide to that... and you, think.. i should give it up... my money. With no sex or kiss.... sounds like a simp move going on. Im out. Split the bill lol modern dating, calls for modern solutions. Get with the times. Unless you want a traditional/olden day dude. Then, by all means., pursue your happiness sweet heart. There are no right or wrong answers here... Sorry for the long talk.
Modern women are falling in the same trap as there parents if they aren’t married most likely prob aren’t but you gotta get your man in your prime years of life so y’all can build off that and enjoy it at the same time and womens looks aren’t there forever, there will always be a younger, fitter women out here for an older man 💯
Loved this! Good job Ladies! This video made me subscribe. I couldn't stop laughing. I noticed you almost touched on colorist that would be a good topic to discuss also.
20:34 Its deeper than even losing you, ladies. Not even being an ass. When hurting you in the long run, doesnt register to them. You already have been broken. Next is that... lying, as easy as they make it look* , it takes work. So they have worked/reinforced your idea of them. They dont want to disappoint themselves*, then you. See..... its not insecurity at the base here. Its sort a mental illness in a way. To me at least. That you would trap yourself in a web of lies... burying yourself beneath who you used to know yourself to be. Liars hate themselves. And thats the only ones that constantly partake in these relationships. When you dont love yourself...... you will believe ALMOST anything any person of any gender..... says to you.
I'm really trying to give these women's arguments a chance but they say that they want an honest man that doesn't play games but they openly admit that they'd rather ghost him than reject him.
Most of what the panel says is mainly nonsense and self-serving. Virtually none of them are willing to self-examine nor honestly self-reflect upon their own culpability, casual cruelty towards men and in a general sense their own superficiality, overt materialism and ongoing prosucutorial psychology with how they unceasingly judge black men as a monolity. The women on the panel don't seem to know what informs the lived expereinces of men in general and instead they impose their own prejudices upon men which then generalizes men as the only ones lacking positive qualities. They constantly define what they articulate as men's insecurity and immaturity as if black women don't exist within the same problematic attitudes. None of the women in the panel has ever seen past the thug or the religious fanatic or man who carries the archtypal man who exists with the concept that his ethnicity is the only stamp of his identity. Meanwhile, the "nerds" or the scientists and artists like myself and others they publically invalidate as someone with worth or value, conform to none of the cartoonish standards they impose on men in general and black men as their singular archetype. Since many black women (generally speaking) already communicate with frequency mecuriual or a "don't even bother" mentality," the best and brightest of us guys (The one's they already pointed out over several decades, they wanted nothing to do with) either can't exist, or when existing, is blamed for the lack of availability when we finally become a person of material value and worth. How often have I heard yet another self-righteous black women sneeringly say black men like me "abandoned" them when they see us living well wti a white or Asian women in our lives. I point out to a few (not that it will ever register to them) When I was in High School, I was a nerd and you wanted nothing to do with me. Every day your sisters informed me with sadistic glee my material shortcomings, along with excoriating my interests in reading novels, listening to different movies and generally not being a thug or a baller. In University, the same general black women scoffed every time I approached them. How often had I and others expereinced black women of all kinds look at us like its completely insane someone like us would ever dare approach them for anything resembling attraction. Or at best our only prerequisite for access to them was to exist literally as a source of mindless deference and free source of material superficial stuff. In college black women in general ruled me out because my car wasn't fancy enough, my clothes not trendy enough, my speech not "hood" enough, my home not big enough. Yet within the same period, the women who expressed kindness, support and freindship other than my mother were literally evbery other ethnic group than my own. So ten years after university, I own a small but sucessful architectural drafting company located in Tokyo and the U.S. The women in my life socially, professionally and creatively are white and Asian. Why? Not because I choose them, but rather these women was all black women left for me, and what most black women didn't value in me, they did. So, no, I never abandoned black women, black women abandoned me, so when I and other black men are with a white or Asian women, its not because we want submissive or exotic women, but its because its impossible to be in a relationship with an abrasive materialistic cruel person who rejected us first. For myself, the attraction to the person in my life was never based on racer but a common humanity she recognized in me, most black women rarely ever expressed towards me with kindness and humanism. Of course I speak with some generalities, however in my own specific case the only alternative most black women imposed upon me was either consider someone other than them or an existence of emptiness and lonliness.
Ugh. Aren’t you guys tired of being racists all the time. If there’s something that wrong with you seek therapy fix your flaws and live your life. If you’re alone there’s probably something wrong with you boo. Men have options and in a highly diverse country they don’t need to be forced or shamed or guilted into going with just black women.
Idk why black women act oblivious as to why our men date outside when y’all act the way you do and esp black mothers .. it’s not outlandish to understand why other races of women ARE more submissive because they’re raised to be wives . We’re raised not to trust men rather than trust the right man
Our culture has our own set of problems so we can’t go according to anyone else’s standards. I think when dating outside your race, you’re able to run away from some of that burden/trauma. However, that same person still has their own ish. Of course this is case by case when it comes to interracial dating, but the reason behind that dating makes all the difference.
Some things they said I agree with and other things I think they will learn on. A lot of points in these conversations are the men and women asking for similiar things just different words. I think both sides need to have realistic standards and give each other grace when necessary and it could work out for a lot of people. Lastly dating outside your race is fine, as long as they are vetted properly but thats with anyone who you're considering to be your partner
Choose the wrongs type of men, get the consequences for that choice, then decide to blame all black men for your poor decision on the type of men you decide to entertain on a regular basis. “It is what it is” And in honor of this famous meme “I don’t want peace…I want problems, always 😂” Nice show though I liked it
The older y'all get the less options y'all have. You women act like there's an abundance good Men at your disposal. Modern women never see 40 coming.. Picky now and lonely af later. Time waits for no one.
6:45 minutes in and I already see the most glaring flaws with these single ladies. #1. They think it's ok to be casual with men and not be invested (which 1 lady said makes it easy to cut men off). Men see this as women wasting men's resources (time, energy, space, opportunities, and money) when she has no real intention on taking the men serious, which would make men with discernment not take said women seriously. #2. These women don't know how to choose a suitor. It's easy to tell these women don't know what they want (don't fret, most women don't). Women shouldn't accept or deal with any & every man that comes their way. This further shows a lack of a strong male presence in their family lives, because mature men that love you will teach you how to choose a man that will take you serious. #3. Just like a job interview, significant periods of time with no "work" is a red flag (the lady on the left with big forehead & braids). It's telling of underlying issues that may need to be addressed & resolved.
How can she say she was dating serious and ended up in a situation ship that didn’t work out .. THATS NOT DATING SERIOUS like hello i dont feel bad for women who say that like you entertained a man who didn’t want anything serious when you know you did .. move on tf
You know what the comment he is doing too much... Lets have that conversation again in their 30s..... while they have some points I think it would have been beneficial to also have more mature women on the panel!
And another thing is women expect the perfect man and there isn’t a perfect man so stop having a fantasy that doesn’t exist ladies you are wasting your time grow up 😂💯💯💯
The problem with black women is you don't believe what we tell you tell y'all that we don't like your attitude and you saying it's an excuse 🤷🏿♂️ more likely to get what we want from other races of women submissive and feminine but at the end of the day we all!!!! want!!! a black woman
This was good on a personal level, but I am kind of tired of seeing women having this same conversation. I would to see more men being honest and vulnerable. This conversation without male energy feels like we are just talking to ourselves in the mirror.
I am mature women older than all you women on this panel I what I would like to tell you all start to worry about looking after yourselves thinking about your health and what your life will be like in the future the black men are not there for you they're not worried about you they don't care about you they don't support you there's not no more I can say the evidence is everywhere you go Don't worry about divesting you hate it a lot just see they don't want you as a black woman no matter how much you love them they don't want you
I need food, water and shelter. I dont know what this dating thing is so important. Unless you want a family and kids marriage is option. I find much more value than friends than having a gf. Sex is way overvalued.
Dating issues can be summed up by the wise words of a pimp I once knew: “people struggle with dating because they choose to chase after people who don’t want them instead of focusing on the ones that do.” Dating is EASY when you choose the person who chooses you over everyone else
But that’s settling, there’s always better options
@@HXCORNERSTONE looking for better options tend to cause people to run out if time if they want to establish something. I guess either settle in the beginning or the end but you will eventually settle.
@@petepistol6403 that’s deep
@@HXCORNERSTONE there’s a reason the term “settling down” exists. If you’re looking for perfection you’ll be looking until the day you die.
@Pernell Moore, yeah but You and I understand that because we are men. Most woman is not going to understand or they choose to not understand what you just said. That’s why we keep telling them we are different then they are. We think differently, we move and act differently then they do!!
Part 2..... They are falling into the same exact trap most of us did in our 20s . It gotta be the man that we like more than in reverse. It will be a dry spell in your life where the roles will definitely get flipped and you'll be the one triple texting because the men you meet will soon treat themselves like they're the prize. Yall don't see it now, but please know when to cash in and leave the casino before you start losing and goin into debt trying to win the jackpot.
Words of wisdom. 💯 Grandma’s don’t teach this anymore…
I'm glad you recognized. They won't really understand until they're in their mid-to-late thirties and then by then it'll be too late. It's crazy because overwhelming majority of women in my family ( too many to name and too many to count) are single. From the ones in the early twenties the ages of 32 are going from relationship to relationship. From the ones 32 to 45 they get a man to come their way every once in a blue moon and the closer you get to that age of 45 the longer it seems the drought is ( meaning the closer you get to 45 having a relationship becomes non-existent) 45 and up you might as well Kiss It Goodbye. One thing that women do wrong as they can point out to one or two examples of someone older getting married but they don't look at the bigger picture. Out of all the women my big family that are 45 and older. Only two got married past the age of 45. And only one is "seeing" a guy there are 10 immediate Auntie's that I have as well as my mother so if you do the math they pretty much lineup with the statistical numbers.
Or just be loyal weirdos & play your part as a female everyday not Gon be exciting this ain't a movie
@@divisiondrive7599 wow so sad I wish I can get a redo!
@@raeRenae1 it's very sad. It gets to a point where there's no one around and they want someone in the home with them that a couple of them have decided to become foster parents. And four of them never had children of Their Own and they don't have any medical conditions. My mom just passed from covid August 19th it was a sudden death she had seven of us and only one of us actually live in the state that she lived in she didn't have anyone with her when she passed at her home. I had another Auntie that died a month later she didn't have any kids but some of the sisters lived up the road so she were able to have her sisters around. But it was sad because she was happy she had her family around but we all knew she wish she had her own family. I say that to say the day-to-day life when you are older from what I've seen from the women in my family it's not very happy I do notice that it is not as bad when you have family members that live close to you meaning y'all live in the same city or not too far from each other where y'all can see each other at least a couple times a week but you still got to go home to an empty house every day and that does play a role for them. And it does get worse if you don't live close and if you don't have your own children. But then once the children are out of the home like a few of my aunties after that it's go to work come home and be by yourself day in and day out. I definitely wish I could turn back the hands of time for them because I know and some have told me that they would definitely do it over again. But I've noticed that they never have those type of conversations with the younger females in my family and the younger females don't pay attention and notice that they are doing the same things that the older females did when they were younger 50 the path that they are going down and to see what they will most likely end up in the latter years of their lives.
If you are being casual ladies, please prevent pregnancy. You have an advantage when you don’t have children. It’s a different ball game when you start having kids. Be selective with your womb. Be selective with who you decide to procreate with. We also all make mistakes. Hold yourself and your vagina accountable and just do better when mistakes happen. It’s much easier to heal and make better decisions after.
Part 1..... I just wanna say , when your young like these women you think you have all your life to get it right , when you don't. I want them to realize your not gonna be the hottest one on the scene with many options the entire time. Please drop this "I have my whole life" narrative because you don't.
You definitely have a wife’s mentality
That narrative has to be put to a stop.
#Facts🗣🗣🗣
Amen amen 🙏🏾
Post Prime Clarity, women only get this when they can no longer leverage it…
28:00 sacrifice was the right word .. putting your life on the line to bring a man's child into this world is not what you call a compromise. That's literally the definition of a sacrifice. Don't let this patriarchy belittle those sacrifices women have to make to populate this Earth because is normal/natural.. its still very gruesome and tragic, especially for black women.
We literally put our lives on the line daily protecting the entire house and everyone in it. If there's a bump in the night you're not going to the basement to investigate. The Man is and he's expected to take bullets or whatever may come for his family. Btw, you share the child. Its not just his or yours.
Then men will find woman who want to be mothers and not just a woman who has a husband. This is crazy to believe that with the medicine that has completely changed the rate in which woman have complications during birth and yet your ego is what more important then family. But yet you will will preach how strong and. Independent you all are lmao
@@harryellerby5286 5dycg,
Ma'am overwhelming majority of women do not put their life on the line when they are giving birth. In the United States is like 26 out of 100000 live births women giving birth pass away in 2019 you there was 3.7 million birth. If 26 women die every 100,000 births that is not a lot. So you are not putting your life on the line when you are giving birth. That statement that you made was true before modern medicine but you do not have the right to claim something that is no longer relevant
This is literally what I thought. It is a sacrifice
I think both groups (Men and Women) will look back at these interviews in years to come and realize how they had a lot to learn. It's one of the beauties of growing older you realize your mistakes when you were young 🖤. The young lady in the black shirt is the younger version of me.
I agree. I think we’re all going to grow from this experience 🤎
Yes and I think the idea is to take time and don’t rush because it’s better to fail at dating then failing at a broken family. We need to encourage counseling in our community especially before even dating.
@@raeRenae1 couldn’t agree more.
@@raeRenae1 I agree. I think we should encourage maturity, especially emotional maturity, as well as therapy in our community.
@@Eisawithlove What we claim to want tends to be in direct conflict with who we are. However, in a time of "you can do no wrong sis" the self-reflection and honesty necessary for actual growth and maturity either never happen or happen when its too late for some of our sistas😢
I watched the men’s discussion and now I’m watching the women’s I find it very interesting that the men kept speaking social being part of the dating struggle and I notice the women didn’t mention that at all, but now the media pumps that women fall short to social in the dating aspect or as far as being in a relationship. To me it’s showing that the insecurities with social media is really coming from the men.
Yeah that’s interesting that you caught that! I didn’t even notice! Now I’m going to do a poll LOL
Thank you so much for commenting!
I came across the guys talk first. They seemed a bit older, but I don't recall them saying their age. I wish the ladies were older, 30s, with just a bit more life experiences.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. They were all around the same age, with DayQuan being the youngest 👀
you can definitely tell they were not older. the question about courting women was very hard for them to answer. that was telling for me
@@kimberlyjackson8064 Okay. I'm sure I missed some things. I know I had about 20 minutes left when I stopped watching the video. The guy on the far right seemed the most mature to me, but you're right.
@@MichelleNgome and he was the youngest! I think everyone we had on were mature in their own right, but they all had immature thoughts at times. It’s crazy because we learned that maturity has no age and is not a, “you gave it or you don’t,” it is honestly very nuanced.
@@kimberlyjackson8064 what y’all think about that tho?
Part 3.... The sexy fine man with his stuff together will not I repeat will NOT chase you , double text, or beg you for anything including 😼..
why? Because he definitely know he's a catch and you too will be in rotation. You ladies expect the top teir man to act like the 1 teir man that you look pass on a daily when that's basically practicing cognitive dissonance. If you continue down this road you will end up so single that desperation will kick in and you will find yourself on the opposite end and also treating the teir 1 level guy like he's the top teir level guy. Again know when to cash in ladies.
@Babyface Nelson She gotta already be somebody wife LOL. She got next level knowledge 😅
She on here spittin 💥💥💥🤣
Ride it till the wheels fall off 😂
Van-Knee-uh, I love you! 🖤
You're so self aware and intelligent! Are you married?
I like this young lady
Don't submit to people. Submit to the foundation of the relationship.
I enjoyed this episode so much! Thank you all for sharing. I do think it's interesting that the men had no problem saying that they would or already do date outside their race even the man who said he wanted a Black woman was in my opinion acting a little torn but the women said no dating/marrying outside of their race hard stop, not a doubt in their mind. I think this really shows that most Black women are way more dedicated to the Black community than the men are 👀.
Interesting perspective! We truly appreciate you taking the time comment and I think that’s a topic we should further explore 👀🤎
But let's be honest though, I doubt it's as easy for blk women to date outside their race even if they wanted to. Yall got the reputation of being difficult, argumentative etc., any man of any race don't want to deal with that.
@@Anthony-tg7il I don't think those stereotypes are the issue I think it's hard for us to let go of the idea and social desire to have Black love, so when men of other races pursue us we're not interested. There are many other reasons but I think that's the main one. I know quite a few Black women who date outside of their race and they didn't have any issues at all attracting men of all races, even the ones who are not very warm and inviting, the men still pursued them. We are way more desirable than you think. ☺️
@@Anthony-tg7il those stereotypes you just named are upheld by black men. White men and men from other communities don’t that that issue with black women whilst married to them. If you rub shoulders and elbows with enough white men who are married to black women they’ll laugh at those age old sayings.
Black women would be too much to men who offer too little. It is what it is. I hope more black women will date out and open their options. They’ll be much happier. “Black Love” is one sided and anything that’s one sided is never healthy.
@@Anthony-tg7il let me know when they put some numbers with their narratives and anecdotal stories.
Ghosting is immaturity. Trust me.
I was wondering if anyone was going to point this out in the comments. Ghosting is not only immature but it's cowardly, disrespectful and cruel. I don't know how it became such a normalized thing for some people to treat other human beings that way. I may not have experienced it myself but I can imagine it's very hurtful to be connecting one day and suddenly be cut off the next without warning, explanation, closure or apology. Downright rude.
@@ZariDV Sounds like you're a very mature woman.
I remember praying to God about my future husband and I was getting specific (because they tell you to make it plain) but the longer I prayed the more I started to think...what if that isn't even God's plan for my life? My prayer started to change more into God whatever your Will is, just show my heart when I've met the person You have for me because I just be talking but I don't know nothing lol. I learned to prefer peace over preference. I pray these beautiful ladies will do the same.
👏👏👏 well said
I wrote down what I want but my prayers are different. My grandma prays that God brings me a good man but I pray that I’m prepared to see the man that He has for me.
How do I get on this podcast.. I date like a pro .. the money, gifts, trips, all of that - no sugar... idk why yall think you need to exchange your bodies for these things. Thats really a horrible mentality
Oooo we’d love to have you on our podcast to share your perspective. What’s the best way for us to reach out to you?
Cause they don't know what they be doing. Its a skill hun.
Ommgg are you accepting any students? I'm serious I'm 31, single, no children, 2 degrees and I've been the "nice girl" ever since I started dating at 18. I'm ready to use what the good LORD gave me as a woman without exchanging my body ever again.
You gotta do better
@@damonenthusiast8624 I agree.
Yea y’all brainwashed. Saying a man is wrong for not wanting to date darker skinned black women is wrong but in the same breath you’ll say you won’t date a lighter skinned black man. The colorism runs deep in our community on BOTH side
Exactly 💯 that's is the reason why no one takes "colorism" seriously. Most desirable men prefer light skinned women with good hair. Also, most disirable women like dark-skinned men with good genetics.Ain't nothing wrong with that at all.
Rooting for you all
Nice suggestion : for the panel we can use more variety in age group(30) which will provide different perspectives and wisdom in these areas. (Unless that’s not a goal for the channel)
Keep up the good work 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you for the feedback we already have plans in the work for different age groups and cities 🤎
32 now. Did a lot of dating over the years. Trips, expensive gifts, monetary gift etc… I always thought I could do better and get more. I’m pretty sure I missed out on my husband. Currently still get a lot of attention and could date more but it’s all infatuation in my opinion
In other-words the sucker that marries you will be double settling.....
@@carlmiller369 probably not. But you’re entitled to your opinion.
It is infatuation, good you recognize this before you get married to the wrong guy.
You’re still young. Your time isn’t up.
@@carlmiller369 I think you're projecting...any woman who marries you or is married to you is the sucker boo!
This was so good🔥🔥🔥I want both single men and women together. That will be very interesting and educative. Learning from both perspective.
That episode will be coming out in the next few weeks so stay tuned 🥳🤎
Expand your options and date outside your race!
If you aint getting a good man in your own circle then the problem isn't the men, its you. The same goes for men who think dating out is a some magical cure to your problem.Get your mind right first and then watch things change around you.
White men don't want them either lol
@@andrewpouncil8411 lol oh nah. Old balding bill will take any vagina that comes
Only for sex not for who they are
@Babyface Nelson I disagree with you bro. I can get a 9/10 in Brazil and dare you to find a damn 7 in America that will match the treatment from the Brazilian…🤷🏽♂️
FYI; "When dating, you have to do just that, "DATE"!!!! Don't date with expectations because people are people. It's not good to date with a motive. Allow people to be people without a title. If it is meant to be it will fall in place.
Nah you need to come into situations with real true intentions and tell mfs straight up or leave or you are just wasting your time 💯💯
Naturally and realistically, everyone has expectations. They just vary person to person. “Don’t date with expectations” almost seems as a defense mechanism. I think the narrative should be to know how to handle yourself and others when your expectations aren’t met.
@@sammywilliams6 facts when you don't date with a purpose you end up a Baby mama
now if a light skin dude said he would never date a dark skin woman, he would be wrong. just saying
when did they say this
Facts 💯
@@TyWerks @ 01:07:00....
yeah I saw it people need to quit with that 💩
Watching this makes me realize it’s not just me. Well I’m in my late 30s and have kids now. Honestly I didn’t understand the idea of vetting. All the married couples I knew made me fear being married. I never looked at it as a priority. Always wanted to just be successful because I felt I couldn’t rely on a man. But I am heterosexual so I wanted sex and I thought I was in love and got pregnant unplanned. It didn’t work out because of abuse and I only dated after because I had a kid and realized It would be better to be a whole family. But honestly if I never had kids I don’t think I’d feel like I’m missing nothing. Relationships I’ve had always seemed to be waste of time and a setback. But Ik now I wasn’t consciously dating. Dating with a purpose is necessary wish I’d known that earlier. My second relationship I left because I knew I just wasn’t going to be happy. He loves me but Ik I can’t be with him because I don’t love him that way. I honestly think I’m traumatized and don’t trust my heart/my life with anyone. I literally just realized how unhealthy this is typing this. But I’m content focusing on my children. I can’t focus on the pass but for the young ladies I advise if you want kids or even want to have sex learn to pick wisely and don’t entertain men you know you don’t see being your husband. It’s just pointless and if you have kids some settle just for the sake of it. I’m not settling but I can understand why some do it. Btw I don’t mean settling as if the men aren’t worth it I mean you just stick with one because of situation. I’m just going to tough it out lol. I’m too old to lose again lmao 🤣
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and perception. This is so informative for us. I agree dating with a purpose and true intentions is a game changer especially the older we/people get. Whatever it is, rather it’s single or married we pray you find the ultimate happiness.
Sister, I'm both sorry to read this and happy you are self aware.
I can feel your sincerity in your post. I wish I could give you a hug.
Honestly, I think your situation isn't much different from my mother's, of course I don't know all the details, but I know I wasn't planned. I still deal with the effects of that, by no fault of my own.
@@E.P.7131 aww thank you, I honestly just try and tell young women and girls whenever so they won’t follow the same path.
I’ve watched some of both parts excuse me that I haven’t watched all but I like how the host @ about 35:00 min in she opened about her husband who she’s been with for 7 years open up about a time when he was expressing his emotions and feelings and she didn’t know how to reciprocate and sort of looked at her man as if he’s supposed to be not so emotional, y’all this is the reason a lot the times we don’t express our emotions in relationships or in dating as men and also this ruins a communication barrier of the relationship when you can’t express this from both sides but at the end of the day women are to nurture women are natural care providers and our women must be able to reciprocate our emotions and energy if we as men are vulnerable to express them
You are absolutely correct. I think our community has a lot of unlearning to do & that is something I had to unlearn and actually welcome in our marriage. Emotions aren’t exclusive to gender, all humans have them and to expect anything different is unrealistic! Thanks for the comment 🤎
but look at the comments how the women lame the men and think it's better to divest
Watching this vids reminds me why I stopped dating smh
Right , dating the same sex is much better , because you understand one another better and are on the same thinking process
@@cartierwhite_lasvegas that does work either I know studs that have gave up on woman as well lmao
Reminds me why I stopped dating Westernized women. Get a passport and get the overseas model…🙌🏽 Wish my sisters the best tho 🤷🏽♂️
well I guess everybody hate everybody , I guess just be alone and keep to ourselves less to talk about
@@cartierwhite_lasvegas Nah almost all black men love and prefer sisters. It’s just black women’s wants outweighs their options. And black women are the only group choosing to be alone if you look at the marriage rates. Just like this young lady (who’s 5’4”) said she really only wants a guy 6’ or taller, which eliminates 85% of her options. Realistically does she have the option to have her pick of the top 15% of men??? Reality will show her 🤷🏽♂️
I honestly have chosen to work on myself and allow God to change me from the inside out, and make me a wife for the man he has for me. I got tired of making the same mistakes, and I was tired of begging all the wrong people to love me. So I tried God. And though it’s been challenging, I love this version of myself way more than the other version ❤❤❤❤❤ I’ve seen God for the first time and he’s beautiful. I’m human, I still desire to be married, but I’m not thirsty for it, I’m thirsty to know who I am in God and to God. Period.
They talk about the problems with black men. But they also want to continue the cycle.
If a man says he does not want a FAT WOMAN he is ridiculed and criticized and accused of Body shaming a woman. But all through this interview women said they don't want a short man something he cannot change but it was fine it Or a broke man the hypocrisy was real in this interview . This is why you need a male perspective nothing was challenged.
have your kids in your 30s!!! dont make my mistake ladies
No love no point. You only have to get it right once. All of us single and alone people suffer from ego trips, get humble and pick a loving moral person who will stay with you and acknowledge your efforts for them. Life is hard and it can get harder. IMHO
Having you been out looking for that lately . I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone, men and women are trying to do. Morals have pretty much gone out the window with hook up culture and social media.
Really good conversations in this video… I loved the different perspectives. Dating is just different these days and we are learning how to maneuver through it honestly.
I really hope you're not living your life off advice from any of these women.. They're in a hole and don't even know it but still digging.... No accountability just blaming men for all their problems
Tiana is on point. It's clear she's done a lot of self work. I can tell she gets it
How so ? She said she was dating serious but ended up in a situationship
yea she really does not
I love this so much!!!!! I really appreciate how this podcast focuses on realistic topics surrounding us young black people. Keep up the fantastic work :) love all the way from Cali
Counseling and learning self should be a top priority in our community especially for women. Because if we switch the narrative men have to step up it’s just inevitable. God bless the next generation🙏🏾🙌🏾
Not really, men will and do go to the path of least resistance.. Overseas or other races. #Respectfully
@@LiveEventsTV_ I doubt that because most men in our community only date outside their race when they have status/money. If black women stopped supporting them up they’ll lose their value. Usually there’s a black woman that helped them get that status. Which is a problem, women usually black women stick by men that don’t deserve it. So like Learn to stay focused on self improvement and teach them indirectly how to man up on their own. Technically some women “manned” up for the man. In my opinion the quality of black men is lower because they cursed themselves by not taking pride in their own women. Black men not all but compared to others don’t even see the value in the black woman. And it’s embarrassing tbh I didn’t date black men for years. But always wanted a black man. I found it hard to respect them. But I feel sorry for them and our community. It’s so embarrassing to see the outright disrespect televised and online. I had bad experiences with black men/boys but I’d never talk bad about a black man to my ex. It just didn’t sit well, but in private with black women I’d vent. I acknowledge the frustrations of some men. But it’s become a trend to bash black women and use them until they get the prize. I think it’s time to stop supporting them fr. They need counseling
@@raeRenae1 the difference is even the avg black man making 50k is considered wealthy overseas. Dominican Republic, Columbia etc. If black women just raised their standards those men would just go overseas more. The world is black American mens standard now, not what black women set anymore 🤷🏽♂️
@@LiveEventsTV_ I hear you! Are you a black man?
@@raeRenae1 Yes I’m a black man and I love my sisters to death
You can literally be everything on a woman's list but short and she will not give you the time of day. Women say that being with tall men allows them to feel protected and wear heels which are no factors that lead to a proposal or lifelong marriage. Furthermore being tall doesn't mean you can fight. And height doesn't make you bulletproof. And if he is not praying with you or reading the bible with you he is not protecting you spiritually. If he is cheating, lying, and abusing you he is not protecting you emotionally. And if he doesn't have a job, no debt, and no emergency savings he is not protecting you financially. Women need to know what protection really means.
the one in the brown shirt seemed mature. the other 2, especially in the one in the white jacket seems REALLY immature. I think it's best that she takes a minute to grow a bit.
Both this episode and the single men episode are absolutely amazing for so many reasons. One being both hosts being super intelligent and engaging, another being the honest people you have in both episodes, along with the most beautiful chemistry you have with them. I loved all of this
So glad you enjoyed it! We brought them all back together for part three! You should check it out 🤎
Wow. What a discussion. At first thought I didn’t like Tianna but she’s actually not bad at all
Instagram and social media was the worst thing that could of ever happened to women. These ladies coming across men wanting to marry them and they genuinely don't feel like they missed anything. Cause there's always a bigger better deal it seems. Some guy who just wants box will take these ladies on trips/boats and they probably think that same guy was a legitimate option when they're getting played. The math on men who will legitimately take a women seriously, have their ish together, and you have that fire/chemistry is nanotechnology type small lol. And the timer is running down. That one girl who wants 7 kids, that's all math. You basically need a decade for that to happen, unless twins happen, so if youre trying to do that before things are dangerous at 35, that process should be happening at 25 at the latest. But you still haven't even MET THE GUY YET! And thats a very specific kind of guy who wants that many kids in this day and age... Funny thing is, if I was a woman getting a million likes, dms, ad approached etc each day, ironically I'd probably fall in the same trap.
You have spoken well brotha ✊🏿
You have to update your facts on womens health. 35 is no longer the “danger zone!”
Whats sad is that these ladies are in their 20's. Dating problems used to be for women in their late 30's on up. These ladies favorite female r&b singer/rapper is the main cause !!!
Dating has always been hard. It's much worse today because of technological advancement. He access to anything at anytime.
Consequences of modern feminism...freedom of choice
OK ladies I am 42 but I just fell in love with all four of you!!
You ladies are so funny 😆
But yet very articulate and smart!
I really enjoyed watching this podcast I have now subscribed thank you ladies I had a good time!
Now all they gotta do is talk like that with men thats the difference between i don’t know what dating is and being happy married like the host
I’ve sent my cashapp to see if a man was serious about getting to know me even if he wasn’t it’s a win win. It wasn’t agreeing to the date it’s agreeing to engage until I choose not to. It’s mostly in fun but they DO pay ladies. I also do this because men usually hold their money as close as we hold our bodies.
Don't complain about men options and attitudes about dating. When majority of women look down on the average man earning $45000 annually. There are plenty of average men that want to be in a good relationship. How about women admit a man's money is the most important thing.
A man's money is one of the most important things. There.
@@therealsouthernbelles lmfaoooo it's obvious.
Well that makes sense. The superficial is for unattractive men. If you are very attractive it's different
You would be surprised at how little a lot of these women make. Most come in as debt and not an asset.
It appears that money is more important than the men 🤔
21:02
Always get to know the boy... to understand the man that is im front of you. I picked this up around 25 yrs old... I realized a lot of my assets(intellectually) came from me simply being a kid. And the same for habits that font serve me, they started when I was young. You have to be able to look at yourself in 3rd person.... or even have some self awareness (and expand that overtime) to look back and utilize that information to create a better you now, vs tomorrow
I loved everything about this episode ❤️. We need a part two ladies!
Thank you so much! We will try to get the gang together again 🤎
It seems to me a lot of men and women did not listen to gain. But heard to every point that they found fault with. We do not know these young ladies but if you listened you could learn something. This is said from a grown man not a young boy who has only lived for 20 or so years. Learn to listen and then speak. Well done young ladies. And no one said they date five dudes.
Hold up, hold up, didn't two of the women say they date about 5 guys at once and then begin to shame the men for dating five women at once, the double standard huh?
No critique of women in our community
Smh i cringed when they said they only date black men and don't want black men to date outside their race.
I think unfortunately, too many of our women over-value themselves, their actual options and how much time they really have until the wall. It's sad actually😢 Most of our women are not relationship/monogamy material but think it's what they want.
It is not that we 'over-value' ourselves. It is just that men like you use this imaginary 'wall' to try and shame us into accepting the bare minimum and less.
Maybe we are just over-valuing too many of our (internet) men🤔😉
@@graceedozie6649 Shaming has always been apart of our community not of recent geberations. Doing what you want is cool but accept the life decisions one makes....that is what is missing
@Grace Edozie "the wall" is simply a moniker used to identify the fact that our society devalues women from a mate selection standpoint as they age. This isn't explicitly men's fault; it's just our reality. I tend not to argue with reality.
i literally cringed when the girl in the middle stated the reality of a black woman is being single with no kids & she's okay with that 🥴🥴🥴
The only men that control the dating market are the top tier that most of y'all want which is why u find yourself competing if u dont want to compete date down and quit complaining there's plenty of men that will give the exclusivity that u want y'all just don't want them which is why women really control the dating market not men the delusion is real
Follow the social media jones era cant live in reality....
You are so correct
When ol girl in the middle said “I mean…this may sound toxic but he gon have to use his whole. $50k” 🤣 I almost choked on my food. I needed that laugh.
Lmao as well did girl 🤎
Average black man in America makes 40k is 5’9 and works in blue collar! Average black woman is 190 lbs 5’4 works for the government or retail makes 36K. Black demographics! I love ❤️ black women! Black families!
Cite your sources Sir, and you forgot to add the average black man's weight, and what are the parameters for these "stats" you mention? Like what age groups in your demographics are you looking at? Is the man 50 and the woman 20? I work for the Gov't and make 6 figures, I'm married, 5'4" 150lbs and I already had a child when I met my husband...
@@dalton9139 show me your face troll 😈
@@dalton9139 all good 😊
She's taken it too deep. The moment you feel safe with someone or the moment you feel safe the man or girl you will be able to let your hair down aka femininity
@1:00:01
Femininity cant be turn on or off. A feminine women is Always feminine 💯
Sis said a whole lotta everything in that first minute💯💯
This was really good but would have been better with different age ranges of women. I am not sure why the one girl who doesn’t date with no experience was selected but the other 2 ladies were very informative!
She was actually the most normal she is just in a sick culture.
I think it should always be a Panel with different ages and mindset about this topic 💯💯💯🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 Great Show though❤️
pre social media ages so they can see the trap great idea! this is the blind leading the blind
Yall spit some real good game Fasho, keep these type of conversations going 🥰
Will do!! Thank you for watching 🤎✨
The lady in the brown top was describing hypergamy when she mentioned the guy she wants has options. Her and many others choose the same small percentage of men. And then those men's behavior gets represented as the whole. Not the case.
yea that doesn't exist
See when she said "would you cut off all 5 dudes spending money"
That is the major point but the difference is most of the guys with all those options will always get easy sex which is all they really want
This conversation was great 🔥🔥🔥
54:25 i agree... You won't experience that attitude within a black woman when she's madly in love with you.
And if she's madly in love with you that means you've been loyal and honest.
Then she will become fatal attraction if he break up with her.
That madly in love shit don’t happen over night 🤣
@@ccdew86 everyone falls differently man. It can and it cant. It Varies . And thats what I look for/attract. If it ain't on sight. Im already side eyeing... and that's okay. Cause Ima speak up about it. Like how money should easily come out of my pockets to pay for a date with you right. . . So me, as the catch, should get some in return. Put gas in my whip or make out... some... show me some sort of investment. Time is one aspect and we both put that forward. Times have changed. Courting to. Paying for everything was when women were brought up to be house wives and taking care of the family ( she wasnt expected to work or do any heavy lifting)
A lot of women work for themselves now. Some women work out now a days. So I cant court like the olden days. Cause they arent olden girls. My best dates and ships have been a woman letting me know shes earned her keep by displaying she can take care herself fiscally. Its nonsense any dude should "just come" outta pocket. . . My hard working ethics is tide to that... and you, think.. i should give it up... my money. With no sex or kiss.... sounds like a simp move going on. Im out. Split the bill lol modern dating, calls for modern solutions. Get with the times. Unless you want a traditional/olden day dude. Then, by all means., pursue your happiness sweet heart. There are no right or wrong answers here...
Sorry for the long talk.
Modern women are falling in the same trap as there parents if they aren’t married most likely prob aren’t but you gotta get your man in your prime years of life so y’all can build off that and enjoy it at the same time and womens looks aren’t there forever, there will always be a younger, fitter women out here for an older man 💯
Loved this! Good job Ladies! This video made me subscribe. I couldn't stop laughing. I noticed you almost touched on colorist that would be a good topic to discuss also.
20:34
Its deeper than even losing you, ladies. Not even being an ass. When hurting you in the long run, doesnt register to them. You already have been broken. Next is that... lying, as easy as they make it look* , it takes work. So they have worked/reinforced your idea of them. They dont want to disappoint themselves*, then you. See..... its not insecurity at the base here. Its sort a mental illness in a way. To me at least. That you would trap yourself in a web of lies... burying yourself beneath who you used to know yourself to be. Liars hate themselves. And thats the only ones that constantly partake in these relationships. When you dont love yourself...... you will believe ALMOST anything any person of any gender..... says to you.
Damn, Im good.
LOL i love all your comments but the damn I’m good cracks me up!
I'm really trying to give these women's arguments a chance but they say that they want an honest man that doesn't play games but they openly admit that they'd rather ghost him than reject him.
Excellent discussion 👏🏿 and very genuine.
Love this conversation and the spectrum of women!
Those women don't have a clue on how to pick a man or date with a purpose
Sins of prior generations
what this interview lacks is a male perspective. Because the host was not challenging some of these answers. But I appreciate the effort .
Most of what the panel says is mainly nonsense and self-serving. Virtually none of them are willing to self-examine nor honestly self-reflect upon their own culpability, casual cruelty towards men and in a general sense their own superficiality, overt materialism and ongoing prosucutorial psychology with how they unceasingly judge black men as a monolity.
The women on the panel don't seem to know what informs the lived expereinces of men in general and instead they impose their own prejudices upon men which then generalizes men as the only ones lacking positive qualities. They constantly define what they articulate as men's insecurity and immaturity as if black women don't exist within the same problematic attitudes.
None of the women in the panel has ever seen past the thug or the religious fanatic or man who carries the archtypal man who exists with the concept that his ethnicity is the only stamp of his identity.
Meanwhile, the "nerds" or the scientists and artists like myself and others they publically invalidate as someone with worth or value, conform to none of the cartoonish standards they impose on men in general and black men as their singular archetype. Since many black women (generally speaking) already communicate with frequency mecuriual or a "don't even bother" mentality," the best and brightest of us guys (The one's they already pointed out over several decades, they wanted nothing to do with) either can't exist, or when existing, is blamed for the lack of availability when we finally become a person of material value and worth.
How often have I heard yet another self-righteous black women sneeringly say black men like me "abandoned" them when they see us living well wti a white or Asian women in our lives. I point out to a few (not that it will ever register to them) When I was in High School, I was a nerd and you wanted nothing to do with me. Every day your sisters informed me with sadistic glee my material shortcomings, along with excoriating my interests in reading novels, listening to different movies and generally not being a thug or a baller. In University, the same general black women scoffed every time I approached them. How often had I and others expereinced black women of all kinds look at us like its completely insane someone like us would ever dare approach them for anything resembling attraction. Or at best our only prerequisite for access to them was to exist literally as a source of mindless deference and free source of material superficial stuff. In college black women in general ruled me out because my car wasn't fancy enough, my clothes not trendy enough, my speech not "hood" enough, my home not big enough. Yet within the same period, the women who expressed kindness, support and freindship other than my mother were literally evbery other ethnic group than my own.
So ten years after university, I own a small but sucessful architectural drafting company located in Tokyo and the U.S. The women in my life socially, professionally and creatively are white and Asian. Why? Not because I choose them, but rather these women was all black women left for me, and what most black women didn't value in me, they did.
So, no, I never abandoned black women, black women abandoned me, so when I and other black men are with a white or Asian women, its not because we want submissive or exotic women, but its because its impossible to be in a relationship with an abrasive materialistic cruel person who rejected us first. For myself, the attraction to the person in my life was never based on racer but a common humanity she recognized in me, most black women rarely ever expressed towards me with kindness and humanism. Of course I speak with some generalities, however in my own specific case the only alternative most black women imposed upon me was either consider someone other than them or an existence of emptiness and lonliness.
all I can say is.. FACTS
Facts definitely wear masks when the whole point was to be venerable and real talk.
Ugh. Aren’t you guys tired of being racists all the time. If there’s something that wrong with you seek therapy fix your flaws and live your life. If you’re alone there’s probably something wrong with you boo. Men have options and in a highly diverse country they don’t need to be forced or shamed or guilted into going with just black women.
They sitting up here talking bout ghosting niggas but want black men to only date them…for what?
Idk why black women act oblivious as to why our men date outside when y’all act the way you do and esp black mothers .. it’s not outlandish to understand why other races of women ARE more submissive because they’re raised to be wives . We’re raised not to trust men rather than trust the right man
Speak on it!!!
Our culture has our own set of problems so we can’t go according to anyone else’s standards. I think when dating outside your race, you’re able to run away from some of that burden/trauma. However, that same person still has their own ish.
Of course this is case by case when it comes to interracial dating, but the reason behind that dating makes all the difference.
I wish podcast like this got more attention 🤎
I see a lot of lonely futures in their future. Sheesh this is sad. God bless them.
44:01 I am absolutely shocked that she even had the range to be aware of that. Wow. 😧Shout out to her.
Whenever you see a fine woman who's single, just assume she ain't bout shit! These are facts.
Love this ❤️keep it up💋I wish you much success
Some things they said I agree with and other things I think they will learn on. A lot of points in these conversations are the men and women asking for similiar things just different words. I think both sides need to have realistic standards and give each other grace when necessary and it could work out for a lot of people. Lastly dating outside your race is fine, as long as they are vetted properly but thats with anyone who you're considering to be your partner
This is a great point 🤎
Wonderful advice
I think the standards that men have to follow are wayyyy to high.....and also the girl in the white jacket is underrated & real woman for sure
Choose the wrongs type of men, get the consequences for that choice, then decide to blame all black men for your poor decision on the type of men you decide to entertain on a regular basis.
“It is what it is”
And in honor of this famous meme “I don’t want peace…I want problems, always 😂”
Nice show though I liked it
Old traditional ways was always on the man but many haven't adjusted to putting accountability on women that have the freedom of choice
very interesting to hear.
Single womanhood (especially single Motherhood) is NOT a badge of honor. See what this looks like on you at 60 and lonely
The older y'all get the less options y'all have. You women act like there's an abundance good Men at your disposal. Modern women never see 40 coming.. Picky now and lonely af later. Time waits for no one.
Good conversation ❤️
Tiaunna is so pretty
6:45 minutes in and I already see the most glaring flaws with these single ladies.
#1. They think it's ok to be casual with men and not be invested (which 1 lady said makes it easy to cut men off). Men see this as women wasting men's resources (time, energy, space, opportunities, and money) when she has no real intention on taking the men serious, which would make men with discernment not take said women seriously.
#2. These women don't know how to choose a suitor. It's easy to tell these women don't know what they want (don't fret, most women don't). Women shouldn't accept or deal with any & every man that comes their way. This further shows a lack of a strong male presence in their family lives, because mature men that love you will teach you how to choose a man that will take you serious.
#3. Just like a job interview, significant periods of time with no "work" is a red flag (the lady on the left with big forehead & braids). It's telling of underlying issues that may need to be addressed & resolved.
Tiaunna is 24 but the level of flip flop on the balcony at such a young age is very concerning, but hey!! u do u young lady.
How can she say she was dating serious and ended up in a situation ship that didn’t work out .. THATS NOT DATING SERIOUS like hello i dont feel bad for women who say that like you entertained a man who didn’t want anything serious when you know you did .. move on tf
You know what the comment he is doing too much... Lets have that conversation again in their 30s..... while they have some points I think it would have been beneficial to also have more mature women on the panel!
Agreed
I agree. I feel like I didn’t learn much just felt like superficial girl talk at brunch
Really enjoyed this conversation y’all touched on some ish
I agree! Thank you for the feedback, part 3 coming soon!
And another thing is women expect the perfect man and there isn’t a perfect man so stop having a fantasy that doesn’t exist ladies you are wasting your time grow up 😂💯💯💯
@@preciouslizzie tbh honest yes you are right
The problem with black women is you don't believe what we tell you tell y'all that we don't like your attitude and you saying it's an excuse 🤷🏿♂️ more likely to get what we want from other races of women submissive and feminine but at the end of the day we all!!!! want!!! a black woman
Modern women off this generation lol
This was good on a personal level, but I am kind of tired of seeing women having this same conversation. I would to see more men being honest and vulnerable. This conversation without male energy feels like we are just talking to ourselves in the mirror.
Men can't pour out their hearts to a masculine women. Because that masculine woman will hurt his feelings. He needs a feminine woman for that.
57:15 i love it! Yes my current gf , i consult her with majority of my thoughts. Even ones that would be problematic
I am mature women older than all you women on this panel I what I would like to tell you all start to worry about looking after yourselves thinking about your health and what your life will be like in the future the black men are not there for you they're not worried about you they don't care about you they don't support you there's not no more I can say the evidence is everywhere you go
Don't worry about divesting you hate it a lot just see they don't want you as a black woman no matter how much you love them they don't want you
Nah you don’t got the power when the man makes 6,7 figures at all cause there are more beautiful women than rich men 😂😂😂
I need food, water and shelter. I dont know what this dating thing is so important. Unless you want a family and kids marriage is option. I find much more value than friends than having a gf. Sex is way overvalued.
Thank you so much for sharing your opinion. We appreciate it 🤎
Men have the leverage when comes to dating