That's such a tricky thing to just allow myself to JUST get started. How do you bridge the gap with living with another individual that expects the thing to be done in completion.
My husband doesn't have those expectations but I had them for myself. We implemented a daily reset in the evening which is exactly 15 minutes. We have to stop afterwards. Same goes for the weekly house chores (dusting, vacuuming and stuff like that). 30 minutes on Tuesday to do as much as we can and stopping afterwards. It helped me so much in letting go of the sometimes ridiculous expectations and you get a lot done in that time. Some stuff might not be perfect but it is always better and doing it together is super helpful. Maybe try something like that with them if possible?
Does the sweater say "I may cry but I can still get things done"? I love that. I had to watch the video again to hear what you said because the first time I got distracted trying to read what the sweater says. This is a great tip by the way!
I've started using the 2 minute, 2 day, 2 year rules, and yeah, they've tremendously helped. Another variation: "I'll just do 5 things, like fold 5 shirts in the mountain of laundry. I can do just 5, then stop if I want, but I wanna try to do just 5 items. Should be impossibly easy." I'll get up, pick up a SINGLE shirt, fold it, plop it down, and pick up a SINGLE other shirt. By that point, the trap is set. You're going, you're doing the thing, and the inertia has been set, so if you do 5, realize how easy it was, and want to do 10 more, then go for it! If you don't, then just relax and go back to whatever else you were doing. It helps to not guilt yourself over it. After all, you /did/ do 5 more pieces of laundry than you would have if you never tried it! That's pretty good, and chipping away at your tasks is totally valid. You don't and never have to do these things all at once. Consistent, small efforts matter way more.
I’ve been using a 15-minute timer for everything as a sort of free form pomodoro method. If I can’t get started on something because I feel like it’ll take too long, i know I can commit to do it for 15 minutes. If I want to take a break, do it for 15 minutes. If I am overwhelmed by options, just pick something and do it for 15 minutes and reevaluate. If I want to make sure I don’t completely lose track of time hyperfocusing, I can check in 15 minutes. Its been working pretty well, and I get to pretend I’m ADHD Vin Diesel: “I live life a quarter hour at a time.”
This is basically what my father told me when I was a child. "If it takes less than 2 minutes, do it now". That could mean cleaning 1 fork, making the bed, etc. I pass that wisdom on to everyone I meet. Because it actually works.
YES! For the dishes, I often decide to just wash 1 plate + 1 fork + 1 knife + 1 glass. I end up going with the flow and washing at least 5 or 6 times that. And for uni work before / teacher work now, I start using the pomodoro technique with small work periods/long break periods (like 15 minutes of work and 10 mins of break). That way, I get the jumping start and I don't actually stop at the end of the 15 mins, but when the one task is finished.
No matter where I live I always take the cabinet doors off in the kitchen that way the counters can have less on I them. Me and my kids have our clothes in bins, they are separated my like shirts pant’s underwear etc. The kids toy boxes are just for plastic toys and they have a cargo net on the wall at their height for stuffies.
My wife and I used to get into fights because she would ask me to clean a room, and I would be like 'wtf do you mean? It is clean.' It took a long time and help from the Infinite Quest before we realized clean means something completely different to each other and how to work with each others understanding.
I don't have a dishwasher so I will fill the sink with water and dishwashing liquid and say to myself okay I'll fill the drying rack once. This takes out my most hated task of drying by hand with a tea towel and it gives me a clear stopping point.
Yes! Thank you! I've been wanting to start "pomodoro method" stuff, and there's a "wall-of-awful" between me and figuring out how long things usually take for me. I think this will be a great way to ease into that process! 🤩
My biggest realization about chores was to treat them as self care. If effort put into a chore is worth me feeling better after then I'm gonna try to do it. Otherwise probably not
thank you for the video ❤ im in a spot myself figuring out what works for me regardless of social standarts and outside expectations and it helps me to except myself and my way a lot to see you be - yourself :) i hope you are well, take care!
Many thanks! Some of what I was needing to hear right now. In terms of the sock mystery bin, I have something that can helps me avoid that stage: If you hang your laundry up to dry, I find it much easier to pair socks and turn them rightside out when taking them off the line. They're already all spread out and much easier to match
Personally, I buy two big packs of the same, white crew socks and two big packs of the same, white ankle socks every year and a half or so. (That's usually about the time it takes them to wear out) Then, I get rid of ALL of them. Since the socks are all the same and all bought at the same time, they always match and should all wear relatively evenly. I will maybe do the same with black socks, but only one pack. I am also not a professional/business person that shouldn't wear white socks with their navy suit... Haha
Does the absurdly short time period scale? like I need to clean a room that may take an hour and a half so set a 15 minute timer? I feel like 2.5 minute timers for a long task like that would add stress.
This is SO helpful! I've also found that deciding I will rinse 2 or 3 things, or a handful of cutlery, and put them in the dishwasher is a great way to get SOMETHING done, and maybe even get into the groove and get it all done, too. Thank you for the validation!
I just spent about three hours trying to make my studio apartment less of a tripping hazard. I feel like it would take an eternity to actually get the floor fully cleared. Just feel really demotivated but at least i made some progress/tried lol.
My biggest problem is having tasks take WAY longer than they should. I used to HATE doing the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) & hanging the laundry (we don't have a dryer) so I started listening to podcasts & audiobooks while I did them (usually >= 1.5x speed cuz OMG PEOPLE TALK WAY TOO SLOWLY otherwise). Now they STILL take an unreasonably long time (like, typically 30-45m cuz there's just SO MANY THINGS), but at least I'm semi-entertained while doing it. Now, if I could figure out a way to tackle all the clutter & other shit that accumulates from my wife & kid leaving stuff all over the place & leaving it to ME to clean even though I usually don't even notice it, because the clutter stresses her out too much to even deal with. -_- Maybe I'll go put my airpods in & clean through a podcast episode while they're out...
Timers have never been helpful for me. However, I will see how many dishes I can get done while waiting on my coffee to brew or my food to cook in the toaster oven.
Another good tip to just get started is to turn off your brain and go into autopilot. As soon as I start thinking "I don't want to" or "it's too much," I stop thinking to myself and maybe play some music and adamantly refuse to allow my brain to say anything because my thoughts can make me PHYSICALLY exhausted. Also, remember that you dont need to "go hard or go home." It's ok to only do 2% rather than 100% because anything is more than 0%
omg i could never just pause and focus elsewehre while there's food residue in the drain or things just sitting around loose near edges or doors hanging open like that.... that's how i hack it, my OCD competes with the ADHD. too clumsy to leave things undone for long. not with a cat around.
LOL i was so sensory averse to just the video that i didn't finish watching you talk about sensory aversions and getting help and gloves. god gloves make a huge difference. and step-open cans.
Love this so much! I kind of do all of this, but felt like a failure for it. So thanks for the reminder that I'm doing what I can with the tools that I have and that's A-OK!
Had to google, to find out that the Au part of AuDHD stands for autism combined with ADHD. But funny thing: Au is also the element symbol for gold. So, that's something. 😊
Hey... On your Tiktok few years ago you had posted a Kitchen cleaning one with yellow postits and it was reviewed in the How to ADHD youtube channel so saw it there.. I related so much to that one and wanted to forward to a few family and friends to make them understand my situation... Unfortunately we have Tiktok banned in our country and I did not find it on your TH-cam or Instagram feed so if it's not too much to ask can you pls upload it on Yt or Insta? Keep up the great work on educating and making people aware about ADHD 😊👍
Catie (and fellow viewers!), I'm curious if you use methods and "hacks" like these in *conjunction* with any ADHD-specific medications you may be taking, or if perhaps this sort of thing occurs more in the evening when effects of things like Ritalin, Adderall, etc. have likely worn off? I've found that I have a much easier time starting tasks with medication still active and not needing "hacks" to get going - but that's usually when I'm at work. At 6pm after work, I still have things to get done but much less motivation to even think about them. Love your videos!
First I want to preface that chronic pain is commonly comorbid with ADHD. If the lack of motivation is combined with either an achyness or a feeling of exhaustion (which could be burnout), those have to be treated first. Also, the structure and external motivators while at work help propel a lot of us to keep going or do tasks that require dopamine. Where I’d start from there is asking yourself what your motivation for cleaning is. If it comes from a sense of obligation or guilt, there’s likely a lot less dopamine to find there than there would be in something that makes you feel curious or excited.
i really needed to hear this. I stuggle at my job becuse the systems they have in place are worse than shit. I have been trying to push through every day but it just makes me feel overwheld and brings on so much axiety. I am the type of person who carn't stand the little email notification telling you how many emails you have. if it's not at 0 i will die ( i'm joking but still) i need to find a better system then just getting overwheld becamse there are 20 emails in my inbox. I keep looking at the big pictuer when really i should be small chunking it. instead of 20 emails. i should be saying there are 4 lots of 5 emails. that way the number is 4 rather than being a big scary 20.
Your “Feeling” are your problem. You need to learn to keep your feeling out of it. you don’t have the luxury of feelings when you have responsibilities.
That's such a tricky thing to just allow myself to JUST get started. How do you bridge the gap with living with another individual that expects the thing to be done in completion.
My husband doesn't have those expectations but I had them for myself. We implemented a daily reset in the evening which is exactly 15 minutes. We have to stop afterwards. Same goes for the weekly house chores (dusting, vacuuming and stuff like that). 30 minutes on Tuesday to do as much as we can and stopping afterwards. It helped me so much in letting go of the sometimes ridiculous expectations and you get a lot done in that time. Some stuff might not be perfect but it is always better and doing it together is super helpful. Maybe try something like that with them if possible?
This has the same vibe as Google maps saying 20 minutes and I say "I'll do it in 15!" My competitive side loves this idea! ❤
😂 At least this one can't (shouldn't?) result in a speeding ticket!!
Haha I did this today!!
Does the sweater say "I may cry but I can still get things done"? I love that. I had to watch the video again to hear what you said because the first time I got distracted trying to read what the sweater says.
This is a great tip by the way!
I've started using the 2 minute, 2 day, 2 year rules, and yeah, they've tremendously helped. Another variation: "I'll just do 5 things, like fold 5 shirts in the mountain of laundry. I can do just 5, then stop if I want, but I wanna try to do just 5 items. Should be impossibly easy." I'll get up, pick up a SINGLE shirt, fold it, plop it down, and pick up a SINGLE other shirt. By that point, the trap is set. You're going, you're doing the thing, and the inertia has been set, so if you do 5, realize how easy it was, and want to do 10 more, then go for it! If you don't, then just relax and go back to whatever else you were doing. It helps to not guilt yourself over it. After all, you /did/ do 5 more pieces of laundry than you would have if you never tried it! That's pretty good, and chipping away at your tasks is totally valid. You don't and never have to do these things all at once. Consistent, small efforts matter way more.
Video synching with audio is much better! Thank you so much for listening!
I’m implementing this immediately. And for the first time I’m asking myself why do I care so much if my socks match.
I’ve been using a 15-minute timer for everything as a sort of free form pomodoro method. If I can’t get started on something because I feel like it’ll take too long, i know I can commit to do it for 15 minutes. If I want to take a break, do it for 15 minutes. If I am overwhelmed by options, just pick something and do it for 15 minutes and reevaluate. If I want to make sure I don’t completely lose track of time hyperfocusing, I can check in 15 minutes. Its been working pretty well, and I get to pretend I’m ADHD Vin Diesel: “I live life a quarter hour at a time.”
The sink goop!🤮 I hate that part as well. My roommate also has adhd and, he is Pigpen reborn. I love him, but his sink goop is on another level, lol.
Man I need to apply this to everything, currently packing for moving ... well I am meant to be lol
This is basically what my father told me when I was a child. "If it takes less than 2 minutes, do it now". That could mean cleaning 1 fork, making the bed, etc. I pass that wisdom on to everyone I meet. Because it actually works.
YES! For the dishes, I often decide to just wash 1 plate + 1 fork + 1 knife + 1 glass. I end up going with the flow and washing at least 5 or 6 times that.
And for uni work before / teacher work now, I start using the pomodoro technique with small work periods/long break periods (like 15 minutes of work and 10 mins of break). That way, I get the jumping start and I don't actually stop at the end of the 15 mins, but when the one task is finished.
love the video, the tips, the format, the length! thank you, Catie :) sending much love your way :)
No matter where I live I always take the cabinet doors off in the kitchen that way the counters can have less on I them. Me and my kids have our clothes in bins, they are separated my like shirts pant’s underwear etc. The kids toy boxes are just for plastic toys and they have a cargo net on the wall at their height for stuffies.
My wife and I used to get into fights because she would ask me to clean a room, and I would be like 'wtf do you mean? It is clean.' It took a long time and help from the Infinite Quest before we realized clean means something completely different to each other and how to work with each others understanding.
I don't have a dishwasher so I will fill the sink with water and dishwashing liquid and say to myself okay I'll fill the drying rack once. This takes out my most hated task of drying by hand with a tea towel and it gives me a clear stopping point.
Yes! Thank you! I've been wanting to start "pomodoro method" stuff, and there's a "wall-of-awful" between me and figuring out how long things usually take for me. I think this will be a great way to ease into that process! 🤩
My biggest realization about chores was to treat them as self care. If effort put into a chore is worth me feeling better after then I'm gonna try to do it. Otherwise probably not
I'm here commenting for the algorithm. thank you for all you do.
I legit listened to this while cleaning up and getting ready for bed. I am so glad you’re on TH-cam, thank you so much!
As a Neurotypical, I can equate this to the adage of "If its worth doing, its worth doing poorly". Getting started is the hard part with my partner.
I'm audhd and just... Thank you! This is So helpful
Holy shit, I love you. Beyond measure how much you’ve helped me. Looking forward to trying this hack.
thank you for the video ❤ im in a spot myself figuring out what works for me regardless of social standarts and outside expectations and it helps me to except myself and my way a lot to see you be - yourself :) i hope you are well, take care!
Many thanks! Some of what I was needing to hear right now.
In terms of the sock mystery bin, I have something that can helps me avoid that stage:
If you hang your laundry up to dry, I find it much easier to pair socks and turn them rightside out when taking them off the line. They're already all spread out and much easier to match
Personally, I buy two big packs of the same, white crew socks and two big packs of the same, white ankle socks every year and a half or so. (That's usually about the time it takes them to wear out) Then, I get rid of ALL of them. Since the socks are all the same and all bought at the same time, they always match and should all wear relatively evenly. I will maybe do the same with black socks, but only one pack.
I am also not a professional/business person that shouldn't wear white socks with their navy suit... Haha
I need Catie in my ear with this sort of thing ALL DAY! Eventually it would sink in😂❤❤❤
Omg! Thank you so much for this. I feel so much validation.
Thank you for sharing this and validating some of the mind hacks my partner and I have come up with over the years
Thank you for the validation!
Does the absurdly short time period scale? like I need to clean a room that may take an hour and a half so set a 15 minute timer? I feel like 2.5 minute timers for a long task like that would add stress.
So helpful. Going to try this with mail sorting.
This is SO helpful! I've also found that deciding I will rinse 2 or 3 things, or a handful of cutlery, and put them in the dishwasher is a great way to get SOMETHING done, and maybe even get into the groove and get it all done, too. Thank you for the validation!
Thank you for doing this video!
Look at little Bailey in the background ❤. Going to actually try your 2 minute trick now... Thank you!
I... I need to try this! I REALLY need to try this out!
I just spent about three hours trying to make my studio apartment less of a tripping hazard. I feel like it would take an eternity to actually get the floor fully cleared. Just feel really demotivated but at least i made some progress/tried lol.
My biggest problem is having tasks take WAY longer than they should. I used to HATE doing the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) & hanging the laundry (we don't have a dryer) so I started listening to podcasts & audiobooks while I did them (usually >= 1.5x speed cuz OMG PEOPLE TALK WAY TOO SLOWLY otherwise). Now they STILL take an unreasonably long time (like, typically 30-45m cuz there's just SO MANY THINGS), but at least I'm semi-entertained while doing it. Now, if I could figure out a way to tackle all the clutter & other shit that accumulates from my wife & kid leaving stuff all over the place & leaving it to ME to clean even though I usually don't even notice it, because the clutter stresses her out too much to even deal with. -_- Maybe I'll go put my airpods in & clean through a podcast episode while they're out...
Timers have never been helpful for me. However, I will see how many dishes I can get done while waiting on my coffee to brew or my food to cook in the toaster oven.
Another good tip to just get started is to turn off your brain and go into autopilot. As soon as I start thinking "I don't want to" or "it's too much," I stop thinking to myself and maybe play some music and adamantly refuse to allow my brain to say anything because my thoughts can make me PHYSICALLY exhausted.
Also, remember that you dont need to "go hard or go home." It's ok to only do 2% rather than 100% because anything is more than 0%
omg i could never just pause and focus elsewehre while there's food residue in the drain or things just sitting around loose near edges or doors hanging open like that.... that's how i hack it, my OCD competes with the ADHD. too clumsy to leave things undone for long. not with a cat around.
LOL i was so sensory averse to just the video that i didn't finish watching you talk about sensory aversions and getting help and gloves. god gloves make a huge difference. and step-open cans.
I literally use a 2 min timer the same way 😂 glad you shared!!
This helps sooooo much. I do this a lot and it pushes me into doing so much more.
Love this so much! I kind of do all of this, but felt like a failure for it. So thanks for the reminder that I'm doing what I can with the tools that I have and that's A-OK!
Had to google, to find out that the Au part of AuDHD stands for autism combined with ADHD. But funny thing: Au is also the element symbol for gold. So, that's something. 😊
Hey... On your Tiktok few years ago you had posted a Kitchen cleaning one with yellow postits and it was reviewed in the How to ADHD youtube channel so saw it there.. I related so much to that one and wanted to forward to a few family and friends to make them understand my situation... Unfortunately we have Tiktok banned in our country and I did not find it on your TH-cam or Instagram feed so if it's not too much to ask can you pls upload it on Yt or Insta? Keep up the great work on educating and making people aware about ADHD 😊👍
Behavioral activation and positively valenced cognitive avoidance! Great research involves just this. Great execution.
Thank U
That was a great video! Great idea that I think will help me. Cool beans.
Catie (and fellow viewers!), I'm curious if you use methods and "hacks" like these in *conjunction* with any ADHD-specific medications you may be taking, or if perhaps this sort of thing occurs more in the evening when effects of things like Ritalin, Adderall, etc. have likely worn off?
I've found that I have a much easier time starting tasks with medication still active and not needing "hacks" to get going - but that's usually when I'm at work. At 6pm after work, I still have things to get done but much less motivation to even think about them.
Love your videos!
First I want to preface that chronic pain is commonly comorbid with ADHD. If the lack of motivation is combined with either an achyness or a feeling of exhaustion (which could be burnout), those have to be treated first.
Also, the structure and external motivators while at work help propel a lot of us to keep going or do tasks that require dopamine.
Where I’d start from there is asking yourself what your motivation for cleaning is. If it comes from a sense of obligation or guilt, there’s likely a lot less dopamine to find there than there would be in something that makes you feel curious or excited.
i really needed to hear this. I stuggle at my job becuse the systems they have in place are worse than shit. I have been trying to push through every day but it just makes me feel overwheld and brings on so much axiety. I am the type of person who carn't stand the little email notification telling you how many emails you have. if it's not at 0 i will die ( i'm joking but still) i need to find a better system then just getting overwheld becamse there are 20 emails in my inbox. I keep looking at the big pictuer when really i should be small chunking it. instead of 20 emails. i should be saying there are 4 lots of 5 emails. that way the number is 4 rather than being a big scary 20.
Well you set the timer on MY Alexa! I guess I'm doing dishes for the next 2 1/2 min 😅
me pausing this video for 30 minutes to research whether I finally drop the dime on getting an alexa thingy....
I simply ignore myself, count 5,4,3,2,1 and start.
would you say that sink is… mostlypans? 😏 😂
Your “Feeling” are your problem. You need to learn to keep your feeling out of it. you don’t have the luxury of feelings when you have responsibilities.
I guess neuro typical will never understand the struggle