DWIGHT'S BEST QUOTES - The Office US

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @MrTrueBleu
    @MrTrueBleu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20474

    *Dwight:* "identity theft isn't a joke Jim"
    *also Dwight:* "i got a wig for everybody in the office"

    • @tapio_m6861
      @tapio_m6861 5 ปีที่แล้ว +231

      Well he was dead serious, wasn't he?

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +327

      You never know when you have to bear a passing resemblence

    • @pushpakalam2755
      @pushpakalam2755 5 ปีที่แล้ว +99

      That was for emergencies

    • @shashanksetty8110
      @shashanksetty8110 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Yes I browse office memes too

    • @beccag2758
      @beccag2758 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Passing resemblance isn't identity theft. It's just... in case something happens

  • @atara500
    @atara500 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2839

    dwight: ”identity theft isn't a joke jim”
    also dwight: **pretends to be pam to attack jim and says he has a wig for everyone in the office**

    • @mr.x4001
      @mr.x4001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Its in the later seasons They are inconsistent and not really good.

    • @catazanoni1455
      @catazanoni1455 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@mr.x4001 literally in the same episode he impersonated Jim

    • @yishakking9214
      @yishakking9214 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      2shae atara

    • @ringofasho7721
      @ringofasho7721 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      In his defense it wasn't a joke when he impersonated Pam... it was retribution

    • @martimsilva6536
      @martimsilva6536 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Youre a fkn genius

  • @Dan-lp5zl
    @Dan-lp5zl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8866

    “‘don’t be an idiot’ changed my life” - Dwight K. Schrute

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Dan lol

    • @alsexc.g
      @alsexc.g 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Read that as soon as it came on

    • @shirleygarcia6055
      @shirleygarcia6055 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Alex A LMAO SAME

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      “In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is “Oh, I broke my leg!” A lion comes and eats you, you’re dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you’re dead!” - Dwight K. Fart Schrute (security threat, armed, deranged and dangerous, use your own judgement force and deduction skills where it aplies and is thus necessary for the situation at hand)

    • @kdl256
      @kdl256 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I relate

  • @keirstynkat
    @keirstynkat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1723

    *"Jim couldn't land me in 1,000 years,"*
    "But you're saying there's a chance?"
    *"Shut up,"*

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      you look cute dwight..thanks girl

    • @keirstynkat
      @keirstynkat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@razkable More accurate version
      Jim: You look cute Dwight
      Dwight: Shut up nerd

    • @jamesenglish3031
      @jamesenglish3031 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@keirstynkat it's the actual quote..

    • @keirstynkat
      @keirstynkat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@jamesenglish3031 yeah i realized that lol

    • @R.yeehomeO
      @R.yeehomeO 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@keirstynkatum yea i heard that part, didn't need you to type it out. Quit that npc stuff

  • @vertex1933
    @vertex1933 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5960

    "Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years"
    "So you're saying there's a chance?"

    • @PGVideos4222
      @PGVideos4222 5 ปีที่แล้ว +165

      Dwight: Shut Up

    • @tinkers_tools
      @tinkers_tools 5 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      I love Sobotka's smile when Jim says that

    • @Tonsaronee73
      @Tonsaronee73 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      rogopops Frank sobatka? 😂😂 The union leader from the wire. Same actor, different role lol

    • @Yahoooooo2506
      @Yahoooooo2506 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Is there though?

    • @ailo8964
      @ailo8964 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      So it's in 1001th year.

  • @maddielouise3578
    @maddielouise3578 5 ปีที่แล้ว +781

    “It’s better to be hurt by a person you know on accident than by a stranger on purpose”
    -Dwight K. Shrute

  • @steffanyevonne12
    @steffanyevonne12 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3677

    “My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life- different kind of fight.” 😭😂😂

    • @Borninthe90ss
      @Borninthe90ss 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Different kind of fight 🙆🏽‍♀️

    • @marquezsandoval8058
      @marquezsandoval8058 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Can’t believe you watched the video

    • @2EEZY1
      @2EEZY1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      999th like

    • @vibes-06
      @vibes-06 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s not your Instagram anymore smh

    • @steffanyevonne12
      @steffanyevonne12 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@vibes-06 it’s steffanyyy.evonne now

  • @TomSmith-mv9uj
    @TomSmith-mv9uj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +335

    "The best snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear."

  • @aclanderos.21
    @aclanderos.21 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2364

    "Can you imagine if I was deranged?"
    This absolutely kills me so bad 😂😭

    • @jeeplifeforever8020
      @jeeplifeforever8020 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I was just about to post that😂😂😂💀💀💀

    • @colinf3963
      @colinf3963 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I would like, but it's at 420

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @ObiWanGinobiliTopFan
      @ObiWanGinobiliTopFan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Dwight's best line. 😂

    • @torakka2ow640
      @torakka2ow640 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love how completely oblivious he is

  • @KeanuOR
    @KeanuOR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1966

    Dwight's best quote:
    "Bears
    Beets
    Battlestar Galactica!"

    • @KeanuOR
      @KeanuOR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +125

      @@ivyparham1861 False.

    • @Mushbeary
      @Mushbeary 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      @@KeanuOR black bear

    • @majerlehoward7812
      @majerlehoward7812 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Identity theft is a crime.

    • @christylrae9860
      @christylrae9860 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Favorite quote EVER!!!!!!!!!!

    • @ivyparham1861
      @ivyparham1861 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Keanu R no Jim actually says that🙂

  • @lea4695
    @lea4695 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2932

    “i’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose..and a panther”

    • @Eionnn
      @Eionnn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Lea “I am fast to give you a reference point”

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Lea hahaha Dwight is a loser.
      jk I love you dwight

    • @Eionnn
      @Eionnn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Jim Halpert your not Jim... Jim’s not asian

    • @ayseadee538
      @ayseadee538 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Eionnn "I am Jim. We've been working together for 9 years"

    • @logansweeten3127
      @logansweeten3127 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Props to you for noticing race

  • @maestroofamore8948
    @maestroofamore8948 3 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    My personal favorite:
    Bob Vance: *"Can I steal my wife?"*
    Dwight: *"You cannot steal what is legally your property."*

  • @davinci3478
    @davinci3478 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5699

    “When my mother was pregnant with me she did an ultrasound and found out that she was having twins. A few weeks later she did another ultrasound and found that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe that it’s tissue has only made me strong because now I have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.” -Dwight Fart Schrute (security threat)
    Best damn quote in the history of television

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      This led to Ryan’s cousin Mufassa gettin trampled

    • @caitlintaylor9781
      @caitlintaylor9781 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I want to like but it’s 609, (69 if it didn’t have a 0)

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I think people miss how dwight clearly wanted to make up a story that sounds like a plot of a sci fi film or book so people can be impressed by him...if you notice half way through the story he realized it would sound better if he made it as insane as possible and keeps adding to it he even looks towards the camera and his eyebrow slightly twitches after he says grown man and a little baby like see these gullible idiots will believe anything and hes basically being cool and making a farce out of the circle subtly indirectly and everyone else takes que and also want to make up a story because of how unbelievable of a story that was...now did dwight realize they all saw through his lies to follow his lead i'm not sure but hes clearly lying...come on now...michael is the only one who believed his ass

    • @davinci3478
      @davinci3478 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Asmosis Jones they best way to tell if someone is Lying is the the lire will try to cover his or her face, the lire will avoid eye contact, the lire will perspire.

    • @diegohrestre
      @diegohrestre 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@razkable fuck ur boring...

  • @joyli8007
    @joyli8007 5 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    "K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid. Great advice. Hurts me every time."
    -D. K. S., a security threat

    • @parryyotter
      @parryyotter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Dwight Fart* Shrute

  • @Midfender
    @Midfender 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4195

    Best Quotes? Dwight makes me laugh whenever he speaks or doesn’t speak.

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      ArseneVids ha

    • @dwightschrute4506
      @dwightschrute4506 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ArseneVids Jim, inform Andy that I am shunning him

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      dwights the best loveable character 95% of the time but I think I love him most when hes reacting to people being unreasonable but also not mean to him specific especially when its written organically while at the same time they are still messing with him like when jim says you know justin bieber...dwight says who is justice beaver (all serious)? jim says hes a crime fighting beaver of course..lol....or when dwight asks everyone to come out to see a depressed stunt michael on the roof and stanley asks if its nice out which dwight says its a little chilly but its fine and stanley then asks will we need jackets as a little annoyed dwight gets cheerful and says no its actually really nice and then ryan smirks to the camera and says will a long sleeve T work and dwight now a little ticked off replies you'll be fine lets go..so adorable an hilarious....I like it when hes not the clear butt of the joke its just observational humor like how easy it is to mess with his child like wonderment

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yup...the whole time he showed up would be his best quotes.

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@razkable
      There's so many layers on why I love this character so much, but one of them is the cute way he instantly distracted because of his seriousness. For example when Jim moved his desk to the toilet...he got angry at first, but when his phone rings he immediately picked it up and answer Jim's menial question with his typical half-bossy-half-helpful-because-I'm-so- important aura. Or how he instantly focused on putting in Jim's coins into the vending machine when Jim clearly just pranking him by putting his stuff inside the machine... He rarely hold a deep grudge I think, but when he does...beware! So yes, of course I agree that his child-like wonderment is what makes him so adorable...

  • @TheB00Man
    @TheB00Man 4 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    6:11 Michael: "... I know a ton of 14 year old girls that could kick his ass."
    Jim: "You know a ton of 14 year old girls?"
    Dwight: "What _belt_ are they?"
    Kills me every time!

  • @nolanlindberg1537
    @nolanlindberg1537 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7257

    Don’t let this distract you from the fact that Toby made a good joke then awkwardly touched pams leg and moved to costa rica

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Soulzzy Edits hi

    • @Scoot694
      @Scoot694 5 ปีที่แล้ว +218

      I think the account above me is Michael Scott’s

    • @mixedinflator0737
      @mixedinflator0737 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@Scoot694 so damn true

    • @willk844
      @willk844 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      pablo amador eww do you even realize what you’re saying?

    • @pabloamador667
      @pabloamador667 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@willk844 yes toby is a deviant pervert

  • @lsesternester3231
    @lsesternester3231 5 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    “May I point out, the sex appeared to be consensual? Both animals were smiling.”

    • @99baji99
      @99baji99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      "Whoever drew this got it exactly right."

  • @Patrick-eb1yw
    @Patrick-eb1yw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4804

    MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!
    thats the best quote. so do a compilation

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Patrick Dwight sucks

    • @Patrick-eb1yw
      @Patrick-eb1yw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@ieatpooalot and you r not asian

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Patrick WYD

    • @_c3a3m_88
      @_c3a3m_88 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Patrick that would be boring. Just hearing Dwight about Michael over and over again? I’d hate watching that.

    • @davinci3478
      @davinci3478 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Dude he doesn’t even say it that much chill out

  • @nikkihartmann9788
    @nikkihartmann9788 4 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    “R is one of the most menacing sounds, that’s why they call it muRdeR and not MUKDUK”

  • @arkeiou_
    @arkeiou_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4157

    What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

    • @MegaGermanShepherds
      @MegaGermanShepherds 5 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      Best quote ever!

    • @bossgandy
      @bossgandy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      Best character ever! I bet he really serious

    • @mambaface1001
      @mambaface1001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Lmao

    • @maddielouise3578
      @maddielouise3578 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Best EVER

    • @SebHaarfagre
      @SebHaarfagre 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      The writing and improv on this show is just pure genious

  • @elijahkang2237
    @elijahkang2237 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Dwight somehow manages to be dumbest and smartest guy at the office simultaneously

  • @conrad1543
    @conrad1543 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10018

    Only quote you missed.
    Michael: “Dwight, I need your undivided attention.”
    Dwight: “You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.”

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      nothing better than pissed off annoyed anti establishment not committed to his work or boss dwight..thats when hes at his best...he can be cool badass and against authority

    • @DrewTheGamerKid
      @DrewTheGamerKid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@razkable ok boomer

    • @RP-qv9sc
      @RP-qv9sc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Also the one with the 'fear'

    • @adrianawhitlock4792
      @adrianawhitlock4792 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What episode is that in

    • @mustardman9178
      @mustardman9178 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s not a quote

  • @gustavo33souza
    @gustavo33souza 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    He's the best character. The way he pranked Jim with the snowballs was better than every other prank Jim ever done.

  • @arihuertas4423
    @arihuertas4423 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4579

    This channel will give us “Best of the Pizza by Alfredo delivery guy” before they give us “Best of Toby”

    • @aizsniperi
      @aizsniperi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +173

      nobody cares abt toby

    • @jasonnnbbbb
      @jasonnnbbbb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      *worst of Toby

    • @rrrw.01
      @rrrw.01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      They tried giving us best of Toby but then they realized Toby has no best.

    • @flameco
      @flameco 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Making a strangler is like a best of Toby

    • @rhettwilkerson1828
      @rhettwilkerson1828 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Everyone hates Toby!

  • @sebastiansolis6486
    @sebastiansolis6486 5 ปีที่แล้ว +128

    "I wish I could menstruate" My favorite Dwight quote.

    • @shizeqwin4639
      @shizeqwin4639 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      😂🤣🤣 no you do not, dwight

  • @SujoyChakravarthi93
    @SujoyChakravarthi93 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1008

    Can't believe this one didn't make it: "I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life"
    Also - "Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you."

    • @karabobaloyi6877
      @karabobaloyi6877 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The waiter telling him that tips are expected
      Dwight: well, expect to be shocked.

  • @sussyswagman3599
    @sussyswagman3599 4 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    Dwight Schrute: Question, what quote by me was the best?
    This channel: I don’t know, uhh, the one where you say “Smoking is going to save lives.”
    Dwight Shcrute: False, the correct answer was, all of them.

  • @caseyelaine1570
    @caseyelaine1570 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1066

    “ the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so Jim is technically my friend, but the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so Jim is technically my enemy”
    - Dwight

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      But...

    • @jamesnialG
      @jamesnialG 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @M 40 I think Kevin. Dwight fired Kevin when he became manager, and that he made the statement you are referring to, immediately after grilling Kevin about marijuana.

    • @harrymkwii
      @harrymkwii 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @M 40 What about Andy?

    • @KristinaLopezWrites
      @KristinaLopezWrites 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      M 40 It’s the people he then questioned in the room about the pot...

    • @jamesenglish3031
      @jamesenglish3031 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@jamesnialG he liked Kevin, he only fired him because he was bad at his job

  • @vaibhavsingla7030
    @vaibhavsingla7030 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    6:47 The smile on Stanley's face when Michael gets punched is a thing of beauty

  • @musearchives
    @musearchives 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1436

    Michael Scott: “Well that would be kinda worthless because I know a ton of Fourteen Year old girls who can kick his ass”
    Jim: “You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?”

    • @PatrickWagz
      @PatrickWagz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      what belt are they??

    • @threehead99
      @threehead99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      Well to be fair, he is littlekidlover. We all know what his priorities are.

    • @itzian713
      @itzian713 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      6:13

    • @luhvs2967
      @luhvs2967 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      1k like less go

  • @_kay.la.
    @_kay.la. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    7:39 is always my favorite scene
    Especially Kevin's *"heyy"*

  • @alexthehooligan
    @alexthehooligan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +890

    IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!!

    • @seb3458
      @seb3458 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Jim: MICHAEL!
      Dwight: Oh, that's funn- *MICHAEL*

    • @johannab3139
      @johannab3139 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I have a wig for everyone in the office

    • @ViperSRTnACR
      @ViperSRTnACR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Finally some got the actual quote right!

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Alex’s Reviews yeee

    • @blaizejenkins7631
      @blaizejenkins7631 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel stupid for asking but is the punchline of the joke that families don’t really experience identity theft or is there something I’m missing?

  • @williamrucker5873
    @williamrucker5873 4 ปีที่แล้ว +313

    You missed one
    Michael: "Dwight, what is your middle name?"
    Dwight: "Danger"

  • @joannak2767
    @joannak2767 5 ปีที่แล้ว +251

    The "Mr. A. Knife" scene is so underrated

  • @bossgandy
    @bossgandy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    “Do I want to harm Michael? The one man I was hired to protect?” Here’s a dude who got his job description totally wrong :)

  • @RydogLabs
    @RydogLabs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +608

    This isn't even a stopwatch, its a digital thermometer.

  • @skeetskeet4403
    @skeetskeet4403 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    “Pamela beesly Halbert is my best friend”- Dwight Kurt Schrute❤️
    Best quote ever❤️💜

    • @emanon2731
      @emanon2731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish I was a Halbert

  • @maxpayne8041
    @maxpayne8041 5 ปีที่แล้ว +404

    "Ok, see you later Pan."

    • @sarah_sabin
      @sarah_sabin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      “...Pan?”

    • @noone9811
      @noone9811 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I feel like that wasn’t in the script either😂

    • @yesmannoman4113
      @yesmannoman4113 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@tabletop2050 she obviously quoted pam lol

  • @saskruffriders8234
    @saskruffriders8234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    The snowball fight between Jim and Dwight was epic. And I was cheering for Dwight.

  • @bla5t3rproductions41
    @bla5t3rproductions41 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4000

    Can we get a compilation of Dwight yelling “Michael!”
    Edit: Holy crap, over a thousand likes

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      BLA5T3R Productions XD DO IT LETS EMBARRASS HIM

    • @volo455
      @volo455 5 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      wow great idea! Nobody’s asked for that before!

    • @moistbag9877
      @moistbag9877 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      David Van Horn shit I can read the sarcasm

    • @ipissed
      @ipissed 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🅢🅣🅕🅤

    • @im2good4ulc53
      @im2good4ulc53 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ieatpooalot smh, another account of acting like other people

  • @brandi8907
    @brandi8907 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    Michael: I know a lot of 14yr old girls.
    *Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.*

  • @raidamerican3038
    @raidamerican3038 5 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    " Jim couldnt land me in a thousand years" " So your saying theres a chance "

    • @gracesmyth8561
      @gracesmyth8561 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Raid American “shut up””

  • @iwasadeum
    @iwasadeum 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Absolutely one of the greatest characters in human written history. Perfectly nailed in every appearance.

  • @dr.s.choudhury8089
    @dr.s.choudhury8089 5 ปีที่แล้ว +189

    "Goat on chicken, chicken on goat, couple of chickens doing a goat and group of pigs watching!" Dwight is on another level 🤣🤣🤣

  • @ΝΙΚΗΤΑΣΤΖΑΜΟΥΡΑΝΗΣ
    @ΝΙΚΗΤΑΣΤΖΑΜΟΥΡΑΝΗΣ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    1:42 I love how Kevin closes the door on Jim and leaves him out to suffer

  • @timmy9985638678
    @timmy9985638678 5 ปีที่แล้ว +266

    "Don't Be An Idiot"
    Changed my life

    • @babblingalong7689
      @babblingalong7689 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ''Whenever I am about to do something, I ask myself 'Would an idiot do this?', and if so, I do not do that thing. ''

  • @johnthegreek1980
    @johnthegreek1980 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    “My father fought blood pressure and obesity all his life” Different battle -Dwight K. Shrute

  • @adamnowlin7505
    @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +287

    Concussion Dwight: WHeRe aRE wE goInG?
    Jim: Chuck E. Cheese
    Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? I’m so sick of Chuck E. Cheese!

    • @PatrickWagz
      @PatrickWagz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Reason for visit: "Bringing someone to the hospital"

    • @thatneguy5752
      @thatneguy5752 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Love your profile 😂

  • @supschills
    @supschills 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Rainn with hair is something that I can't even accomplish. The luxurious curls ever so subtle. The beautiful stance and placement of his head is almost profoundly royal. The way the layers flock over one another and a leave a straight, silky smooth rich flavor that leaves me wanting to venture further. Hats off to you Rainn.

  • @asiam8615
    @asiam8615 5 ปีที่แล้ว +521

    Let's spam with *"Dwight screaming MICHAAEEEL compilation"*

  • @dnsvls
    @dnsvls 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I love how Stanley smiles after Dwight punches Michael. 😁

  • @pratikshukla1012
    @pratikshukla1012 5 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    "Blood alone moves the wheels of history!!" -Dwight Schrute

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Together we prevail!!

    • @SujoyChakravarthi93
      @SujoyChakravarthi93 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "Blood alone moves the wheels of history" - Benito Mussolini - Dwight Schrute

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sujoy chakravarthi -Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott

    • @crazy224488
      @crazy224488 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ha! Perhaps another reason why he wishes to menstruate

  • @dapaulielama5615
    @dapaulielama5615 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    @6:58
    ""I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp"...Brilliant.

  • @aidancook4829
    @aidancook4829 5 ปีที่แล้ว +285

    Dwight shouting Michael!!

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Let’s embarrass him

    • @ocularzombie6679
      @ocularzombie6679 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ieatpooalot yes

    • @Arman-jx7cx
      @Arman-jx7cx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nah man I tried to make one, but like it only happened a few times....

  • @notthemonthmay2459
    @notthemonthmay2459 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    “Whenever I’m about to do something I think, would an idiot do that and if they would, I do not do that thing.”

  • @1saleha1
    @1saleha1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Best Dwight Quote:
    “I break into Tiffany’s. Do I go for the vault? No. The Chandelier. It’s priceless....”

    • @lailas-in-space
      @lailas-in-space 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

  • @james10739
    @james10739 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I do not remember some of these
    "Jim could not land me in a thousand years"
    "So you telling me there is a chance"

  • @warlordpsycho2163
    @warlordpsycho2163 5 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    "Better a hundred innocent men locked up than one guilty man roaming free."
    -DKS

    • @evolutionmax9791
      @evolutionmax9791 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      *Just shows how evil and sensible Dwight is.....*

  • @gavinbkr10
    @gavinbkr10 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My favorite quote nobody else seems to remember is when Dwight was showing off his homemade bug spray or something and was saying “do you really think they’d allow that much deet” I can barely remember it but it’s one of my favorites

  • @Nicky12376
    @Nicky12376 5 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    ClOwN PaInT
    No but honestly, that always makes me feel so bad for Phyllis. We’ve all been there

    • @Shmitester
      @Shmitester 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nicky I haven’t

    • @videlonlyfans8495
      @videlonlyfans8495 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I haven't, I'm a dude but still

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I haven't...maybe because I don't have a Dwight around me...or because I barely wear makeup...

    • @redacted2275
      @redacted2275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I haven't. And I'm a clown.

  • @alaskawashington
    @alaskawashington 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I always want him to clarify who exactly the four exceptions are lmao

  • @1219DSmith
    @1219DSmith 5 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    Dwight: “I love hunting. I’m a master hunter.”
    Nelly: “Did you say, masturbator?”
    Dwight: “I’m a decent baiter. My cousin, Mose, that’s a master baiter”

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It was packer who said masturbator

  • @hasannasir9969
    @hasannasir9969 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    *To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose....and a panther*
    Americans will use anything but the metric

    • @NoNo-hk5np
      @NoNo-hk5np 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s cause everywhere else sucks. We Texans have don’t use it either. Texas is the best and the US is the second best. Anywhere and everywhere else is kinda poopy. Texas is the best country. My favorite part is the education system.

  • @mimirose3009
    @mimirose3009 5 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    "There is no manual, only a survival guide!"
    "If im dead you all have been dead for weeks"
    WHERE ARE THESE QUOTES?!?!

  • @danielowens8880
    @danielowens8880 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    jim always tries to make things awkward and i love it

  • @justbeingnormaliguess4509
    @justbeingnormaliguess4509 5 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    "insert every quote that Dwight did"

  • @Banana-hammock.
    @Banana-hammock. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    5:11 "couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching."
    When you actually laugh out loud, not just typing LOL.

  • @Nicky12376
    @Nicky12376 5 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    This isn’t a “best quotes” this is just another best moments compilation.
    I promise you you don’t have to put in the whole bit for context, we all know what’s going on.
    Bring on the “MICHAEL!!!” Comp!

  • @clootscalhoun9481
    @clootscalhoun9481 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The subtlety of Dwight getting a blowgun from the toilet and then using it is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in this entire series.

  • @CptPrice62
    @CptPrice62 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Me : Sadly there will be a time when this TH-cam channel will run out of clips and content.
    The Office channel : Boy have you lost your mind cause I'll help you find it!

  • @ozgeozge09
    @ozgeozge09 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    2:55 Ahh, Dwight with a concussion is so cute

  • @Scoot694
    @Scoot694 5 ปีที่แล้ว +518

    Her: “So how fast are you?”
    Me: “I out ran a black pepper snake.”
    Her: *INSERT PP HERE*

    • @kiavang7309
      @kiavang7309 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      My Chemical Machine who is her?

    • @KillianGamez
      @KillianGamez 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@kiavang7309 Dwight wearing a pam wig

    • @Dawsonl377
      @Dawsonl377 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Calix Lor your mom

    • @Scoot694
      @Scoot694 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kryptes yes

    • @BUTTERYSUPERTUBER
      @BUTTERYSUPERTUBER 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @top.comment.god

  • @mahamudsuufi7384
    @mahamudsuufi7384 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The faces Dwight made when he had those wigs on was HILARIOUS LMAOOO

  • @Eionnn
    @Eionnn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    “I ask would an idiot do that and if they would I do not do that thing”

    • @jamesnialG
      @jamesnialG 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Would an idiot drink water to survive?

    • @phyaunna1329
      @phyaunna1329 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I read your comment as he said it

  • @vaishnavigosain7197
    @vaishnavigosain7197 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Every line uttered by Dwight's character is both philosophical and hilarious.

  • @shartluvr6744
    @shartluvr6744 5 ปีที่แล้ว +480

    this is cool and all buT WERE STILL WAITING FOR DWIGHT YELLING *"MICHAEL"* COMPILATION 😠😠

    • @ieatpooalot
      @ieatpooalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      judith ! yeah embarrassing it must be for him

    • @theinvisibleweirdo5951
      @theinvisibleweirdo5951 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      STOPPPPPP PLEASE CAN YALL STOP MENTIONING THIS IN EVERY FUCKING SINGLE V I D E O !

    • @asiam8615
      @asiam8615 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@theinvisibleweirdo5951 NOOO CUZ THIS IS WHAT WE LIVE FORRRR

  • @BrutallyHonest-
    @BrutallyHonest- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love how he’s talking about loyalty so adamantly while dressed up as Palpatine 😂

  • @Matthewpops
    @Matthewpops 5 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    To this day, Dwight’s ex-girlfriend is STILL cheating on him.

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      With a couple of guys actually so... mystery solved

  • @rayebristol
    @rayebristol 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The ‘Mr. A. Knife’ gets me every time
    8:39

  • @tracey6299
    @tracey6299 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Dwight would be the best employee, loyal, hard working and agile. Everything you need in a paper salesman

  • @threatlevel3908
    @threatlevel3908 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    “Where’s the heart; the precious heart.”

  • @jaxophone7219
    @jaxophone7219 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    It took him about 29 seconds for one lap, in case you were wondering

  • @alexinwonderland5782
    @alexinwonderland5782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i love those moments when they would show a friendship between pam and dwight

  • @carlyherman4027
    @carlyherman4027 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Last time I was this early, Kevin was still part of Scrantonicity one.

  • @-Gorbi-
    @-Gorbi- 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    ‘Going wherever my loyalty is valued the most’ does makes perfect sense

  • @durian830317
    @durian830317 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    ""K I S S, keep it simple stupid!-- Michael Scott."-- Dwight Shrute.

    • @adamnowlin7505
      @adamnowlin7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Great advice hurts my feelings everytime

  • @arthurliu8505
    @arthurliu8505 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dwight: “There’re too many people on this earth. We need a new plague”
    2020:

  • @wirklichhaltsmaul
    @wirklichhaltsmaul 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love how this channel makes me rewatch some scenes several times, but it's so good!

  • @17raysplays29
    @17raysplays29 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "Jesus Christ had a daughter, and the daughter was the Mona Lisa!"

    • @itstheotherwhitemeat
      @itstheotherwhitemeat 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      17RaysPlays that's a trick quote that not many will get. Do you get it............

  • @elizabethanderson858
    @elizabethanderson858 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    dwight: chucachucachuca
    jim: what are you doing
    dwight: vietnam sounds

  • @masterntc2164
    @masterntc2164 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    8:06 I have no idea how Rainn got through this scene without dying laughing

  • @MovieHound17
    @MovieHound17 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    "Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years " Lmfao

  • @name6818
    @name6818 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses. Second only to the neck. - Dwight Schrute

  • @joekoezly829
    @joekoezly829 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    This is the content I’m here for

  • @rockybolbo3539
    @rockybolbo3539 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    1:53 Identity theft is not a joke Dwight. Millions of family suffer every year!

  • @evelynratnakumar2556
    @evelynratnakumar2556 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Hahahaha "I wish I could menstruate" is my favourite Dwight quote!

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      “In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is “Oh, I broke my leg!” A lion comes and eats you, you’re dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you’re dead!”

  • @mr_D3LTA
    @mr_D3LTA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "In the wild, health care is (ow, I hurt my leg, I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead), well, I'm not dead, I'm the lion, you're dead".
    This reminds me of the famous Breaking bad line "I'm the one who knocks".

  • @udayrathod3786
    @udayrathod3786 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I want a show with Dwight and Ron Swanson

  • @bzking24
    @bzking24 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    6:40 paused.
    Michael is me, Dwight is life, and Stanly is mood lol