As a black person, to all the white people in the comments getting offended on our behalf for rslash saying a slur, just stop, and thank you to everyone who understands that rslash isn’t racist
Thank you! It's not like he'd know about every single racial slur from other countries. I'm black and I thought that word meant something ENTIRELY different
I'm black and I've never heard it either... he acknowledges its a slur but he doesn't know if its something people say or if it has weight like the n word does in the west. its really not that deep, r/ isn't a racist in any shape of the word
Yeah, I don't understand why people need to hunt down every person who says it without context. R/ is just reading it and the slur itself isn't well known which on top of it R/ is saying not in malice or deception but for the sake of the story. It's like watching a movie and sure you may not hear the N word but you do get some racial comments fantasy wise.
I'm gonna be honest, when op mentioned that she got together with her former boss I felt really icky about it because of the potential power play at hand. But when I heard that they went to HR right after to make sure that their relationship stays personal and doesn't intertwine with work much, also the fact that they've been strong for 5+ years, isn't that some solid sign that they're genuinely happy together? They already know the social stigma of dating your superior so they changed their relationship so that it's more appropriate.
Yes, and they dated for a year and a half before getting married. If the boss was just looking for something physical he wouldn't have dated her that long and certainly wouldn't have married her. Also, I'm guessing OP and the boss were both in their 20s when they met.
I can tell you haven't been in the working world long or at all. Life isn't typically how you fear it is. We don't live in the 1950s, geesh. And you sure don't give much credit to our/ women's autonomy.
@@firepuppies4086 and some underlings will use it to get ahead as well. It is a situation by situation thing. And sometimes you just let people boink or fall in love with each other instead of pearl clutching.
That dad went from zero to racist in one video call. Good thing for OP that her dad was so racist that he couldn’t fake it long enough to see the kids.
1st Story: When the husband keeps saying the comments are just a joke, it's carries the same weight as saying "It's just a prank bro!" He just got mad that OP wouldn't let him take advantage of her. Good on her for dropping his sorry butt.
Ngl, I rolled my eyes every time the ex boyfriend said "I was just joking". It grinds my gears everytime I hear anything about people "joking around" just to cover themselves. Like COME ON. It ain't a joke/prank if you're just using to justify their TERRIBLE behavior.
@@Xolivas1 rSlash said it himself. If you prank or joke around and noone is laughing, it's not a prank or a joke. It's just being a bully and an a**hole.
Hes an idiot. If it was really a jole he would have offered to sign the prenup immediatly to prove he wasnt in it for the money. By not doing that he proved he was a gold digger
Story 2: "Calliing him a racial slur wasn't indicative of a racist attitude" But it was such a _specific_ slur and he said it so easily the moment he got even remotely angry 🤨 kinda makes you wonder how often he thinks and/or says that for it to just slip like that
Hi I am from Israel and this slur is extremly racist this days but if the father is older than 60 which I think he might be, it is possible that he said it out of habit because back then this word was normal to describe black people
First Story: I can't stand one sided gold diggers who use others. I am referring to those who get with someone solely for personal gain while the other person is expecting love, commitment, etc. It’s good on OP for finding out this guy’s real motive before it was too late. Lmao, I would’ve done the same thing. He is just mad that he isn’t going to be a gold digger. Good on OP for getting rid of that guy Second Story: Its good that OP found this out before they were able to get into the kids' lives. Good thing OP find out the real reason why they didn't like OP's husband. It clearly wasn't about the fact that he was OP's boss, this is insane, but I hope that OP and her husband. Lmaoooo wow, OP's dad finally showed his true colors about OP's husband and then made it worst by saying they wouldn't say these racial slurs around the kids. They further admitted to being racist by saying they wouldn't say these racial slurs in front of the kids but implied that they will have no problems saying it when the kids are nowhere in sight
I agree with you on users but gold diggers are usually in an agreement. If a man wants to pay a woman to be his partner and she agrees to get paid and no manipulation happens on either side then it's ok. It's when the man or the woman is manipulated/lied into it which is bad
I think it's fair game, her family made that money by exploiting their workers, might as well return the favor 😎 Although I still fully support her breaking up with him. Nobody wants to be exploited. Especially because of how they talked about her. It's not her fault her parents are parasites
That's like saying an elementary, or middle school teacher reading Huckleberry Fin with his students it racist, but it's not racist it's history even if it has the N word, if you wanna say it's a racist book, don't hate the narrator hate the author
Ya reminds me of how all the people in my English class cringed whenever the English teacher nonchalantly spat out a hard R when we were reading a book on the Underground Railroad
What sucks worse in that first story, OP will NEVER trust whoever she's with the same way again. This is why people can't trust other people, even their own spouses, anymore! One person fucks it all up for everyone else who are genuine, honest people.
@@AtotehZ why because I think more with logic rather than with feelings? Fuck feelings they aren't useful for shit other than trying to manipulate situations.
That last story was heartbreaking. I can't imagine how a parent's racist beliefs can be stronger than the love they should feel for their own daughter.
Same way they can choose not to go to their own sons funeral because their grandkid is Trans and will be attending. Yes, that happened with a great-aunt and uncle and their son. Never liked them and that pretty much sealed the deal on never speaking with them again. Same people who were classy enough to shit on a teenagers dead mother days after it happened to his face.
to be a racist you must welcome hate into your heart, and once you do so, its so easy to just discard your love if it gets in the way of your hatred. it also helps if your love was conditional to begin with.
Story 2: I love how they said they want would never say it in front of the kids as if that's supposed to make anyone feel better. We'll say behind your backs all the time, and will probably say a couple of time to you and your husband, but don't worry the kids will never hear it, unless your father loses his cool in a split second like he did during that zoom call. Also it's obvious they don't respect your husband who was the father, if they can respect the parents then they can't be around the kids.
Saying something like "We would never say that in front of the kids.. only your husband" is like saying "I'd never run someone over! I'd just break their jaw and ribs." It's like, "Mom! That's not an upgrade! WTF?"
They can't even use the phase, " I'm not a racist, I have mixed race grandkids." 1 zoom meeting, 1 freaking meeting on zoom, for like 1 hour, and he blew it up hard. Basically exposing themselves. 100% they gonna still make racist comments or shout at the kids when they either break something or say something wrong. So now, not only did they lose their 1st daughter, but now they lost their 2nd and probably last child along with their grandchildren. Op, keep the kids away from them. Racist parents don't make good grandparents.
There was also a little extra context that Rslash may have accidentally missed, but he eluded to it at the end. The parents had another daughter before OP was born, but she died as a toddler, so she will always be their "perfect, obedient daughter" in their eyes. When OP was born, they named OP the same as their dead daughter, with some weird hope of her being a clone replacement of her dead sister. OP's new daughter was also given the dead sister's name, and *that* was a big reason why they contacted OP - to meet the "perfect daughter's" potential new replacement. So the "parents" would have played favorites or done something else fucked up if they hadn't exposed their racism first.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan that naming a baby after a deceased child is so gross. It makes my skin crawl. What did they think, that she would be exactly what they wanted? She's a person not a doll. 🤮 The pressure parents put on kids to live up to their ideals or they're dead to them is disgusting. It's a serious mental defect.
this reminds me of that cute story you covered where the person felt guilty for starting out the relationship as a gold digger, but then she genuinely started caring about him
@@realrealwarpet It was from true of my chest. For context both parties were gold diggers. Man went after the look, woman went after the money and they both knew that. After some time both developed genuane feelings for each other.
Story 1: I hate gold digger stories. Imagine finding the love of your life, only to find out that they only wanted your money and would most likely dip after your money was down. I'm glad that OP got rid of him.
@@seekeroftruth6728 yep, 100%. He was playing a long game. He shouldn’t have bragged to people about it. That was his first mistake. Second, was doing it at a place she owns, and was possible she’d show up. Third, was not sweeping the area to make sure it was secure before talking. OP’s mistake was not whipping her phone out and recording the conversation.
Yeah, he was clearly planning to stick around just long enough to 'earn' a hefty settlement. I'd also be worried that the gold digger might decide they want 100% of my money and try to kill me off. Scary.
That first story is depressing AF. In that situation I’d have been recording with my phone from the side of the window. I absolutely love that he got angry and showed his true colours, where he’s just a shallow gold digger, a manipulator, tried lying, couldn’t be honest, then calling everything a “prank”, it’s just utter BS. Hey, he wanted to be free, now he’s free!
In the last story I have a suspicion they wanted to see the grandchildren in the zoom call so they can gauge the skin tone. To see if they are 'worth' getting involved with before hand because they are racist towards the Dad.
Story 2: Oof, don't you hate when you have a mixed-race relationship and your parents are racists? I doubt the parents would've treated OP's kids all that nicely. And for that slur, I think it's better to not say it. Better safe than sorry.
@@loonywolf_art it's in Hebrew and yes it basically means the N work although in Hebrew it is slightly less loaded as the N word. It's actually in the Bible
1st story you forgot to mention that they called her trust fund BARBIE that implies that she’s at least attractive bro had the full package and lost it
Story 2: So they apparently thought the husband was taking advantage of their daughter, and their response was to block her on everything? If my parents thought I had been coerced into a marriage, they would try to stay close for my safety. Even if they hadn't shown their true colours, their own lie was enough of a red flag.
Detailed explanation of the slur: "cushi" is a slur with its roots in Hebrew meaning a dark skinned person. It's a racist slur used mainly by Hebrew speakers and Jews against dark skinned persons, usually of African descent, but not exculsively. It's the Hebrew equivalent of the N word, but it's treated as less severe culturally because Jewish and Israeli culture is still not very race sensitive / aware.
It's not very commonly used outside of Israel I don't think. Ik here in the UK the racist word is "shvartse" although it's not very common anymore either
That last bit isn't valid at all. We don't use it because it's racist, and we know it is. Even though the term's original use wasn't supposed to be racist, Christians tend to ruin everything they touch, and so too with the word. In the original Hebrew, the term referred to explicitly the feral and savage black people.
Careful, Dabney. One time someone read out a slur they didn't know the full extent of and got blasted in the comments. And the worst part is he was reading the story to spread awareness
That dad in the second story is just an unhealthy mix of . . . so much. Not only is he racist but obviously shows that he cared for the deceased, older sister more than OP. At OP's wedding, he was probably imagining her sister's wedding the whole time. I can't even imagine my father doing that.
I am so happy OP used some of his own words against him when breaking up with him. let him know, she heard it all. if he was just joking when he said those...why get offended, upset and feel like a victim when presented with a prenup? because he is pissed all this will be for nothing
Story 1 : as a former teacher of mine use to say :" no matter what you sat your always on camera and getting recorded ". Mark is the equivalent of dumb dumber and dumbest.. Story 2 : op should've only responded to her parents with :" who are you and I'm not interested in talking to strangers " and blocked them on everything..
In the 50's and 60's parents would teach their kids to never do, say or write anything they wouldn't want published on the front page of the local newspaper or in the program distributed each week at church. So, it's been an issue for ages. It's just easier to share it to a wider audience of both local acquaintances and far flung strangers now. You should have heard the lectures we received when Polaroid cameras came out.
This is why I like DadSlash so much! I wholeheartedly agree! I have 3 kids and I have difficulty when work has me away for a week! I call every single day to hear them, twice a day if I can make it happen. I absolutely have so much love for my family that being bigoted like that and spending 5 YEARS no contact is madness to me.
Listening to pre-DadSlash and post-DadSlash are so funny to listen to, you can hear the “oh shit my kid might have to deal with this/how dare anyone treat their children this way!” Hit like a truck. Also the exhaustion 😂
In some cultures marrying your boss is see as being, by the bosses family, as them marrying an uncultured low class gold digger and from the other end that they were a class traitor marrying into a higher station. That said the racist parent thing completely overshadows that.
For story one, if it was a lie which is .01% chance, then that still shows what type of person Mark is. 99% says is was the drunken truth, the type of truth that presents itself from the subconscious after having too many. Either, OP made the right decision.
Before I moved, my neighbors was a family of 6 (mother, father, 1 son {the youngest} and 3 daughters). The eldest daughter died in a car accident when she was hit by a drunk truck driver, the second daughter was shot during an armed robbery in a jewelry store, and the youngest daughter died from leukemia in 3 consecutive years. Seeing how those parents cling to their remaining child is heartbreaking. How could you throw away your daughter because she married someone of a particular skin colour? That should be an actual crime and they should be arrested.
That's a pretty one-side POV. The other side is: if you don't plan on a divorce, then a prenup isn't needed. A prenup is a great idea imo, but people's feelings can legitimately be hurt by the idea that one cannot be trusted.
So the only thing that makes me hesitate to agree is that in general most people don’t need prenups. In her situation, absolutely. I think for average people a prenup does feel like expecting a divorce
If everyone had a prenup clearly delineating assets and expectations, it would save a lot of headaches and prevent gaslighting when everything is in writing.
Story#2: Honestly, the fact that OP and her husband went to HR to have herself reassigned as a role equal to his so they could properly date is pretty romantic.
Listen, when I was listening to story two, it seemed so tame and I asked myself "where is this going? There's going to be a sharp turn so what could it possibly be?" And trust me when I say that I was NOT prepared to read "Turns out my parents are racists" in the chapter name. Holy shit.
Story 1: Lesson 1. Don’t be a sneaky ass gold digger when you already have a good thing lined up Lesson 2. DON’T MONOLOGUE. Edit Story 2, i’ve never heard that slur, being black myself, but let’s be adults and know rSlash didn’t mean it offensively.
I have never been able to understand racists. Nobody chose to be born into their particular race or culture, so why do some people think it’s okay to hate others solely because of something they don’t have any control over?
No, I agree, calling someone a racial slur is not indicative of a racist attitude, the same way as slapping someone is not indicative of assault. Oh, wait, it is.
Ok, so surfing through the comments I noticed a lot of other mixed race people and not white people of all races were condoning R/ use of the racial slur, while the comments that seemed to be condemning him seemed to be made up of white people. I am Cuban, Native American, and English mix, I have had all sorts of derogatory slurs thrown my way, and that was when it was offensive. If say a slur and it isn't specifically meant to insult someone then it is just a word in a sentence. If someone gets offended over a word when it isn't being used to insult someone then they are just being crybabies. Do not get offended on other people's behalf, if they are offended, they will tell you.
Do NOT let your parents back into your life. If they're willing to ghost their own god damn daughter for 5 years just think of the kind of mental and emotional damage their flakey presence could cause for your kids. Typed that first part out before I saw how long the story was and just... yikes on trikes with the slur part.
during the second story i was so worried that the problem with why OP's parents aren't talking to her is because of her husband being like controlling and deliberately pushing her parents away. to find out that its just because her parents are racist was such a relief! like racists bad, but i'm so happy OP is in a healthy relationship.
I live in Israel. The word cushi comes, as you said, from the bible. Moses's wife is described as a Cushite Women (not as a slur). It has come into modern Hebrew as a racist slur against blacks. It could be one of two cases: 1. A Jew from Ethiopia 2. An African immigrant It's almost definitely the first. Sadly, we have racists here too. The only weird thing is that in Israel the wedding almost always happens in the hall when the dinner is and the reception is usually first. Reception -> Wedding ceremony -> Dinner
I remember the first story from a long time ago!!! For a second story about the woman whose parents didn't finish her wedding and then blocked her after everything for 5 years after, if there's gonna behave this way and treat their own child this way I have no reason to think that they would treat your children any differently or worse. If your parents know just because they have almost 3 grandkids wanna come in dear life it's too late they should've been around for the very 1st one now they wantna come in after 3? Absolutely not
I can understand what RSlash said about his opinion and feelings about the second story and how he would never treat his daughter like OP’s parents did. I’ll probably never be a mother due to mental health and financial reasons, but my sister might. My sister and I would never judge her children for what partners they chose based on appearance or ethnicity. Nor would anyone else in our families. We would love them like family. The only thing we would oppose are those who threaten to harm them.
congratulations on being a decent person. its sad that we don't hear from people like you who have their head on straight more often. your nieces and nephews are going to love you!
Hearing R/Slash saying something he's unsure of, and being so apologetic shows how much of a non-racist person he is, lmao it's also funny af when he exclaimed, "They are racist!" Made me laugh out so loud my roommates asked what was up xD
If the dude in the first story just didn’t bring his friends over to his gf house he would have completely gotten away with it. Op is super lucky this guy wasn’t smarter.
Thank you for your dedication to posting content daily, I really enjoy the best of editor updates, malicious compliance, and Nice Guy versus nice girl. ❤️ Sometimes I am surprised so I don't see as many tree law Reddit posts nowadays. Maybe that means people are learning? 😅
Sadly, I can relate to the first story all too well. My ex accidentally admitted he was a gold digger to me during an agreement we had after he had proposed and I said no ( because I didn't think our relationship was solid enough for that kind of commitment at that point which was a few years in and we already lived together so I didn't feel like there was a rush). He said when he met me he saw some pics of me online that let him know I came from money. The first one was me on my parent's porch. It didn't even show the house but I guess the door, the stones, and the window looked expensive. Also, there was a pic of me and a friend in her car. I didn't think you could tell what kind of car it was but I guess he recognized the symbol on the steering wheel. Anyway, that was what made him want to date me. He really understand that the things my parents had weren't mine. I had no clue he was a gold digger. He came from a upper middle class family. I should have figured out he was when we got our apartment ( my first) and he only wanted to contribute $300 towards all monthly expenses ( like rent, utilities, cable, food, toilet paper, or whatever we needed). I thought it was gonna be 50/50 but he insisted he needed to save money. He never said what for but I kinda thought maybe he wanted to buy me a ring. ( I was very naive and way too optimistic looking back). In that same argument he admitted he was never attached to me at all. He just figured he could tough out being with me until we got married. Also, he was able to save up plenty of money the time we were together considering I paid for almost everything. I did that with my 2 jobs and I had to come home and do all the cooking and cleaning as well. Idk why I was so blind. It was soul crushing. It made me think back to all the times he didn't want to have sex and since I knew at that point that he was never attracted to me it made sense. He did try to take it back and said he said those things just because he was mad but if that was the case why would he specifically remember 2 pics with great detail that made me look like I had money ( in his eyes). I wasnt even the kind of person to pose in front of expensive cars or show off what I had. Most of my pics were of the outdoors. After that day, I couldn't go back to the way were even though he kept on trying. I think the reason may have been he realized even if I didn't marry him I was still worth something as I paid the bills, did all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning. He said before me he never dated a woman who weighed more than 120lbs and he was ashamed to be seen with me in public. I know I'm chubby but didn't think I was so big that I was repulsive like he described. He also said thanks to me he looked at all woman differently and that all of them ( even the ones he wouldn't give a 2nd glance at) looked better to him in comparison to me. Idk if he really meant all that or was just being cruel but it really did effect me. I haven't dated anyone since. And I make sure I use an actual picture of me so people dont talk to me and think I might be pretty when Im not. I'd rather people to see me as I am and decide to speak to me because of something I might have said instead of being mislead in anyway. Not that I would date again but Id rather be candid. I feel so sorry for OP. That was a bad way to find out. I probably wouldn't have found out myself if he didn't lose his temper with me until it was too late. Now, Im just one of those woman who live alone with a cat and listens to Rslash everyday. I hope Op did end up finding someone who appreciated her.
What a sad story. I’ve never understood how people can be intentionally cruel. You deserve someone who adores you, for you. Who thinks you’re more beautiful than anybody else in the world. Who would live in a shack in the woods or a tiny walk-up studio with you. Don’t give up, there are good men out there. Don’t go looking, just enjoy yourself, love your life, love yourself, and he’ll turn up one day.
That is heartbreaking, I can’t imagine that kind of betrayal. But you shouldn’t give up on dating, he doesn’t deserve to be your last relationship. Success is the best revenge. You can survive him and live a happy life with someone who will cherish you like you deserve
@@hollandguthrie2005 Thank you, I don't think he even knows he was my last relationship. Its been 8 years now. I got use to being on my own and I am happy with my friends and family.
Dang, both stories today were a doozy. I have heard the second story before and I want to comment on the initial story before the OP posts the update. OP didn't add a time limit to her initial email of telling her parents that if they could learn to respect her and her relationship they could have contact again. The simple fact that her and the brother missed is that they didn't even fulfil that simple requirement! The parents only reached out because they found out they had grandbabies and it wasn't about wanting to get back in touch with their daughter. Obviously the update makes that pretty clear but, just wanted to point that part out as I feel like both the OP and her brother just skipped over that detail when they talked about the issue.
as someone dating a woman who's family doesn't approve she's seeing me, I needed to hear that second story. I don't hear stories like that often and it's good to hear from someone who went thru something similar
1st story: there is absolutely no reason a prenup is a bad thing. There is ultimately no downside to it unless you have malicious intentions. You stay together and support each other or separate and end off close to were you started.
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I heard both of these stories from Lost Genre. I would love it if you would cover the story about the woman who lost her family to a drunk driver and one of her friends tried to set up a wedding on the day that her family was killed while insisting that OP should attend the wedding.
You need to document how long it’s been since you spoke to them and everything that’s been said since then, because they can try to sue you for grandparents rights visitation. And after not speaking to you for so long I don’t think a judge will actually grant them that but it’s better to be prepared
Good point. Though it'd be easy enough to gauge how involved they've been in their grandchildren's lives simply asking these bigots what their grandkids' names, dates of birth, or ages are. The silence would speak volumes.
@@TheKillerqueen40 if courts can force a man to pay child support for a child he never even knew existed and had only met the mother a few times (and never had sex with her), then they can force “grandparents rights”. A man in Detroit is in jail right now for not paying child support for a kid that’s not his. The kid’s mother simply put this man’s name down as the father after only knowing he was fairly wealthy. Then she took him to court and the judge didn’t care about dna. The court system is so broken I wouldn’t trust it to do the right thing.
As a child abuse survivor who hasn’t had contact with my mother or brother for several years, it’s not unfair to have zero contact with absentee family members, so do not feel guilty at all here, that’s on your parents for being so disgustingly hateful. You don’t even owe them an explanation, sometimes it’s just the healthiest thing to do. In my case I avoid more abuse (psychological, physical violence, homophobia, ableism, theft, it goes on) and I refuse to allow my abusers back into my life, I’m a lot healthier and happier not speaking to them. In OPs case they decided their hatred, bigotry and racism was more important than staying in their daughters life, and honestly if someone is THAT hateful then you just don’t need them in your life, regardless if they’re related to you or not. They’re very blatantly lying about “oh your boss was clearly taking advantage”, that’s to cover up their true feelings, which are very obviously based on hate. It’s very obvious that your children shouldn’t be exposed to racists like that, that OP doesn’t need toxic people in her life, and her husband does not deserve to be exposed to disgusting racists.
Second Story: I feel like it is always the parents who have children because of ego and/or have someone to take care of them in their old age, that do this. They don't see their children as individuals, only a means to an end and when they don't do what the parents created them to do then they have no purpose in the parents' life. The Dad in the story obviously just wanted to walk the daughter down the aisle more for his ego/tradition than to actual lovingly support his daughter. Just like both parents probably only want to see the grandchildren for more chances to have control over the daughter and stroke their egos because then they can show to other people 'oh, look how much we care about our grandbabies! we are the best grandparents ever!'
"I'm racist but don't worry, I won't let that slip in front of your MIXED children" Nahhh. Nope. For one, being toxic with me means I don't want you around my kids PERIOD. Your beef with me DOES extend to them and by not allowing you in their life, I AM protecting them. Two, my mom was racist towards my husband by asking if he was legal or if my marriage was even real or not. There would be absolutely no way I would ever allow that around my kids. There is no "I don't like (insert race) but your spouse is fine". Like no. You just invalidated my spouse AS A BEING.
It's AMAZING how liborating it feels, to find the reason X happened, wasn't because of Y, but just because racism, because it's so much easier to deal with and cut those people off than if Y was the reason.
I honestly have no issues with someone using a word considered to be a racial slur when quoting or reading something which uses the racial slur. I don't judge the quoter/reader especially when they're doing so to point up the heinousness of using those words. I will judge them if they appear to be using the quote to enforce their own negative racial biases. As you weren't doing the latter there is neither harm nor foul for reading the word in the story which the OP themself used the word to point up their own parent's racial biases. Don't stress about it D. I got your back.
Last story - the dad couldn’t stop himself from saying a slur in front of HIS daughter, how could he ever guarantee that he wouldn’t say it in front of her kids?
I have a daughter, she's my only child, and the thought of not talking to her for FIVE years is just, completely incomprehensable to me. I can barely go three days without talking to her, since she lives with her dad, and also is a ttenager, so parents aren't her priority right now
12:32, the Cushi slur that your father dropped is same as a Southern man calling him a Coon, or a N Bomb. Do think its SUPER FUNNY that your parents still think after calling your HUSBAND a Racial Slur, they still think they are ENTITLED to see THEIR GRAND CHILDREN... they couldn't even say YOUR CHILDREN, they INSIST on calling them THEIR GRAND CHILDREN like they own them in some way.
First story : Somehow, I think he started alright, but got corrupted along the way. Surely he didn't know who you were when he first approached you, right?
Why is it such a problem for someone to fall in love with their boss? As long as neither side exploits it in regard to work (e.g. wanting a promotion vs giving a promotion etc). People do spend a lot of time at work - that's where they meet other people and spend time with them. Of course, some will meet their partner during work/at work. Just tell HR and/or switch departments if possible and everything is fine.
I’m Israeli and I want to add a bit about the word from the second story. The word is from the bible but nowadays no one is using it in the biblical way. Kush was an ancient kingdom in Africa so the slur means someone from Kush. No one is using this word to talk respectfully about PoC and they are bullshiting you if they are saying otherwise.Nowadays it’s used like the N word. It’s similar to saying the N word but the word doesn’t have the same history as the N word (like how PoC reclaimed the word). Some Israeli PoC are okay with white people using this word while others don’t want anyone using it. I’m willing to bet OP’s dad doesn’t use this word regularly and he used it to be hateful to OP’s husband. Yikes
Even giving the person the in the first story the benefit of the doubt, even if it was all just a joke and they weren't actually a gold digger, I wouldn't want to be with the kind of person that could say that about their partner, so even in the best case scenario its still a massive red flag. They dodged a bullet regardless of the actual intentions
Story 1: I’m gonna play devil’s advocate and say OP let her parents get the better of her. Actions speak MUCH louder than words. We have a fiancé that, by OPs own admission, paid for his own things, refused extravagant gifts from her family, and cooked for OP on multiple occasions. All around painting the picture of a frugal and honest partner. Meanwhile the father is constantly judging him calling him a gold digger and spitting poison in her ear. Then she finds one moment of weakness where the fiancé is joking with his friends saying he has the highlife (even though he has never taken advantage of it once). This was the catalyst that justified everything her father said and OP let’s it get to her head. Immediately following this one line from an entire conversation that we have no clue the full context, OP goes to daddy and he immediately takes the reigns. The father was even there to do the dirty work for her with the prenup! Also, lest be very honest here: I don’t care what the situation is. If someone approaches you and slams a prenup in your face with the words “this is mandatory for this wedding to happen”, thats fighting words and you WILL be offended. Period. So when he had the very reasonable response that was to be expected, daddy’s girl decides to throw her entire relationship away. Now, is he a gold digger? Is daddy in law right? Did OP do the right thing? Who knows. But let’s be honest with ourselves. EVERYONE on this forum has said things in their life in jest that had no true merit. We’ve joked about our spouses and told our friends things that we don’t mean and are blatantly having fun with the situations we live in. Based on the story presented here though I feel this entire situation was doomed to fail because of the father constantly belittling the fiancé and putting doubt into her ear. It was just a bomb waiting to be set fire, and one conversation taken out of context was the spark. But that’s my opinion.
For the last story: Hooooooo boy, it’s time to turn those 5 years of no contact into infinite years of no contact It just sucks that OP had to find out that her parents are huge racists after they disappeared from her life
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When a parent only contacts their practically disowned children only for the sake of seeing their grand-children, that's already a huge red flag of toxic behavior. Those kind of grandparents deserve nothing but spending their final years in loneliness to shame them for being such bigots.
I can honestly say that you are right, loosing a child is without doubt the worst pain you can ever feel. My 3 month old son died in 87 and we stil grieve to this day. May you never feel it.
My oldest child died at 24 weeks, I couldn't imagine disowning my children at all, but especially not after that. Because one day he was fine, then he never woke up, and there is no guarantee that they will outlive me, and there's no guarantee that your kids will maintain a close relationship with you once they're grown, so every moment is precious.
There's nothing wrong with retroactively putting a time limit on something you said in the past. You're allowed to change your mind over 5 years as well.
You're right. Most people approve of people changing their minds if they decide they want to reconcile after all, so it should be okay to do the reverse. At least OP got some answers so it wasn't hazy anymore.
1st story: This story is a clear example of the fact that men can be golddiggers, too. However, male golddiggers are something we men despise the most, because, to most of us, a man may lose the woman he loves, he may lose his job, he may even wreck his life to a point of no return, but he will never lose his dignity. This cockroach is a master manipulator. In fact he was so good that OP will never trust a man completely, even if he is a total sweetheart. I feel sorry for her, and I'd like to apologize to her on behalf of all decent men out there. We'd like to get broke or at the edge of our lives than fall so low and be such disgusting golddiggers.
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I thought because I’m not rich, I’m immune to Gold Diggers. But guess what? Sometimes what is Gold to another is not money. It could be stability. Just because I had a day job, my own place and ride, I had become a target to this chick. Let’s Just say “the bar is not very high out there!”
I’m going through a similar thing as OP in the second story in that the entire side of my mother’s family disowned me and hasn’t spoken to me in over 3 years because they didn’t like the guy I was dating/marrying. Why, you might ask? I have no idea. My suspicions are either because he’s half Puerto Rican or because he’s Jewish on his mother’s side (or maybe both). But I’ve always wondered what we were going to do when we had kids and if they decided contact us after the fact- and I think this story answers that question perfectly. From start to finish, Op handled this situation in the best way she possibly could have. I probably would have deleted the voicemail and wiped my hands clean of my mom and stepdad regardless of how sincere the apology was.
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Story 2: There's no way the parents wrote that letter right after the wedding. How were they planning to be there for her if they immediately blocked her on everything?
Person: *calls someone a racial slur specifically to insult them based on their race* Also that person: I'm not racist, I swear! What is the logic in that? You literally partake in racism and then claim you're not being racist despite the fact that your phrase was said with express intent to _be_ racist! This poor lady, I feel so bad for her and her husband and children. I wouldn't wanna involve her dad in her kids' lives either.
The second story is basically dark comedy. OP is struggling on how to handle doing against social norms to make it easier for everyone and to let her kids' grandparents into their lives after so many years, and then turns out there racists and to not bother
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If I was OP for the 2nd story. I'd proclaim, "Ok... Well he [points at husband] is far richer than you, and he will be a better father, than you have been to me and my sister... Also we're gonna do it over an hour later 😃"
I doubt Twitter will even try going after him since Rslash isn't a big TH-cam name like Markiplier or PewDiePie and since it's a podcast channel all it takes is watching the video just to find out it was simply taken out of context.
rSlash is not a racist, he's said several racial slurs - censored out of course, many times, but it's because I've got quite a few examples of people marrying their colleagues: Densi - Kensi and Deeks, both NCIS Special Agents, the latter whom was an LAPD NCIS Liaison at the time of the marriage. The actress and actor portraying them, Daniela Ruah and Eric Christian Olsen, are siblings-in-law IRL, as Daniela is married to Paul David Olsen, Eric's brother, who's also his brother's stunt double, and no, they're not twins, lol, but they are brothers Then there's Caskett - Castle and Beckett, they're not *technically* colleagues, but they work together nonetheless, Castle as an advisor and Beckett as a cop Ellie and Jake from NCIS, both worked for the NSA at the time of them being a couple, dating, engaged and married, and when Ellie went over to NCIS, they suddenly couldn't talk about NSA work McAbby, which is McGee and Abby, both who work(ed) for NCIS, the latter doesn't work there anymore. They briefly dated early season 1-2, or maybe also during season 3, I'm not sure, but Abby never told McGee he was sleeping and doing more than sleeping, in a *coffin* tho, I doubt that's why they broke up Tiva - Tony and Ziva, who ended up having a daughter together. Enough said Fielding McGee - Delilah Fielding and Timothy "Tim" Farragut "McMany McNicknames" McGee, not directly colleagues, but with Delilah being one who's worked with Gibbs' team, the team McGee is on, on multiple occasions, they *are* colleagues that way, but still EVEN GIBBS HIMSELF BROKE HIS OWN Rule 12: "Never date your co-workers", by dating Jennifer "Jenny" Sheppard, deceased NCIS Director
Bro, of my spouse is loaded, I wouldnt wanna divorce them. That’s an easy life from then on! If they ask for a prenup, my only condition is to add a clause that nullifies the whole thing if financial abuse occurs. That way they cant hold their money over me to keep me in place. Id walk away if they say no.
I can't imagine (or won't) the heartbreak of a child dying. But I can't imagine trashing your living child for "not living up to the standard" of your dead child. When the "Golden Child" dies, is it so hard to accept that your scapegoat kid is just doing the best with what you provided them? If (racial slur) and (woman) are both NOT IDEAL, and considered second class, is it really surprising that the "undesirables" find solace and strength in each other? Want to make sure your grandchildren are all (slur)? Be a racist misogynist. that'll do it.
As a black person, to all the white people in the comments getting offended on our behalf for rslash saying a slur, just stop, and thank you to everyone who understands that rslash isn’t racist
Some people forget r/slash offers audio only too -.- so people like myself can just listen to these stories
Thank you! It's not like he'd know about every single racial slur from other countries. I'm black and I thought that word meant something ENTIRELY different
I'm black and I've never heard it either... he acknowledges its a slur but he doesn't know if its something people say or if it has weight like the n word does in the west. its really not that deep, r/ isn't a racist in any shape of the word
Yeah, I don't understand why people need to hunt down every person who says it without context. R/ is just reading it and the slur itself isn't well known which on top of it R/ is saying not in malice or deception but for the sake of the story.
It's like watching a movie and sure you may not hear the N word but you do get some racial comments fantasy wise.
Now I'm curious about what it is. Just started the video.
Okay, that was new...
I'm gonna be honest, when op mentioned that she got together with her former boss I felt really icky about it because of the potential power play at hand. But when I heard that they went to HR right after to make sure that their relationship stays personal and doesn't intertwine with work much, also the fact that they've been strong for 5+ years, isn't that some solid sign that they're genuinely happy together? They already know the social stigma of dating your superior so they changed their relationship so that it's more appropriate.
Yes, and they dated for a year and a half before getting married. If the boss was just looking for something physical he wouldn't have dated her that long and certainly wouldn't have married her. Also, I'm guessing OP and the boss were both in their 20s when they met.
I can tell you haven't been in the working world long or at all. Life isn't typically how you fear it is. We don't live in the 1950s, geesh. And you sure don't give much credit to our/ women's autonomy.
@@dudeorduuude5211 it's a risk, something falls through and the wrong person in a position of power will abuse it.
@@firepuppies4086 and some underlings will use it to get ahead as well. It is a situation by situation thing. And sometimes you just let people boink or fall in love with each other instead of pearl clutching.
@@dudeorduuude5211 they went through the proper channels here, which was good on them
That dad went from zero to racist in one video call. Good thing for OP that her dad was so racist that he couldn’t fake it long enough to see the kids.
Ikr
$5 says that was the real reason the parents were "uncomfortable" with the marriage, and it had nothing to do with him being OP's former boss
@@dragonriderabens9761 this is obvious
@@dragonriderabens9761 no shit
He would've abused the kids probably too
1st Story: When the husband keeps saying the comments are just a joke, it's carries the same weight as saying "It's just a prank bro!" He just got mad that OP wouldn't let him take advantage of her. Good on her for dropping his sorry butt.
Ngl, I rolled my eyes every time the ex boyfriend said "I was just joking". It grinds my gears everytime I hear anything about people "joking around" just to cover themselves. Like COME ON. It ain't a joke/prank if you're just using to justify their TERRIBLE behavior.
@@Xolivas1 rSlash said it himself. If you prank or joke around and noone is laughing, it's not a prank or a joke. It's just being a bully and an a**hole.
He's TOTALLY a just a prank guy lol
I don't agree.
Hes an idiot. If it was really a jole he would have offered to sign the prenup immediatly to prove he wasnt in it for the money.
By not doing that he proved he was a gold digger
Story 2: "Calliing him a racial slur wasn't indicative of a racist attitude" But it was such a _specific_ slur and he said it so easily the moment he got even remotely angry 🤨 kinda makes you wonder how often he thinks and/or says that for it to just slip like that
Imagine how much he was thinking it as he walked OP down the aisle 😂
Hi I am from Israel and this slur is extremly racist this days but if the father is older than 60 which I think he might be, it is possible that he said it out of habit because back then this word was normal to describe black people
Many kids to this day call themselves and use is as a compliment or an insult
@ronkalika156 idk about the older than 60 thing but i can confirm that it is an extremely racist slur
Story 2: how can parents abruptly ghost their child for 5 years. An insane thing to do.
I mean, my dad & I did that to each other for a few years, even at family events. Its simple enough
Spoiler. It's an interracial marriage.
Racism is basically a mind virus.
It leads you to destroy lives, yours and those of others.
Apparently, if you are racist enough, then it is very much possible.
Cus they're scared of the pigment~ Colors are scary~
First Story: I can't stand one sided gold diggers who use others. I am referring to those who get with someone solely for personal gain while the other person is expecting love, commitment, etc. It’s good on OP for finding out this guy’s real motive before it was too late. Lmao, I would’ve done the same thing. He is just mad that he isn’t going to be a gold digger. Good on OP for getting rid of that guy
Second Story: Its good that OP found this out before they were able to get into the kids' lives. Good thing OP find out the real reason why they didn't like OP's husband. It clearly wasn't about the fact that he was OP's boss, this is insane, but I hope that OP and her husband. Lmaoooo wow, OP's dad finally showed his true colors about OP's husband and then made it worst by saying they wouldn't say these racial slurs around the kids. They further admitted to being racist by saying they wouldn't say these racial slurs in front of the kids but implied that they will have no problems saying it when the kids are nowhere in sight
I agree with you on users but gold diggers are usually in an agreement. If a man wants to pay a woman to be his partner and she agrees to get paid and no manipulation happens on either side then it's ok. It's when the man or the woman is manipulated/lied into it which is bad
@@Tues48 well u know what I mean. The ones who don’t consent to being used
I think it's fair game, her family made that money by exploiting their workers, might as well return the favor 😎
Although I still fully support her breaking up with him.
Nobody wants to be exploited. Especially because of how they talked about her. It's not her fault her parents are parasites
@@xKCAZxLEADER Does "Without Consent" means something that will get a comment banned?
@@songohan3321 what? No I mean like people who seek others solely for financial gain. Not the one who agree to be used for financial gain
It's okay, RSlash; you didn't say the slur to just say it or attack anyone. You're reading a story; don't worry lol
That's like saying an elementary, or middle school teacher reading Huckleberry Fin with his students it racist, but it's not racist it's history even if it has the N word, if you wanna say it's a racist book, don't hate the narrator hate the author
@@Josh_the_jester it’s all about context.
@@dudeudontknow341 exactly 💯
@@dudeudontknow341 but I mean this supports rslash because the context is made very clear.
Ya reminds me of how all the people in my English class cringed whenever the English teacher nonchalantly spat out a hard R when we were reading a book on the Underground Railroad
What sucks worse in that first story, OP will NEVER trust whoever she's with the same way again. This is why people can't trust other people, even their own spouses, anymore! One person fucks it all up for everyone else who are genuine, honest people.
I mean you shouldn't trust people to begin with. No one is worth trusting ever. Trusting people only gets you hurt and used.
@@Stoney-lz3ri You're a dumbass. You're not gonna get far in life emotionally and with relationships if that's your attitude.
@@AtotehZ why because I think more with logic rather than with feelings? Fuck feelings they aren't useful for shit other than trying to manipulate situations.
@@Stoney-lz3ri But not trusting anyone will hurt you too, because you will get paranoid and wont find real love.
@@jean-lucpicard6261 maybe but I'd rather be alone and free than miserable and stuck.
That last story was heartbreaking. I can't imagine how a parent's racist beliefs can be stronger than the love they should feel for their own daughter.
Same way they can choose not to go to their own sons funeral because their grandkid is Trans and will be attending. Yes, that happened with a great-aunt and uncle and their son. Never liked them and that pretty much sealed the deal on never speaking with them again.
Same people who were classy enough to shit on a teenagers dead mother days after it happened to his face.
to be a racist you must welcome hate into your heart, and once you do so, its so easy to just discard your love if it gets in the way of your hatred. it also helps if your love was conditional to begin with.
Story 2: I love how they said they want would never say it in front of the kids as if that's supposed to make anyone feel better. We'll say behind your backs all the time, and will probably say a couple of time to you and your husband, but don't worry the kids will never hear it, unless your father loses his cool in a split second like he did during that zoom call. Also it's obvious they don't respect your husband who was the father, if they can respect the parents then they can't be around the kids.
As soon as someone calls them out they excuse it away...typical.
Saying something like "We would never say that in front of the kids.. only your husband" is like saying "I'd never run someone over! I'd just break their jaw and ribs." It's like, "Mom! That's not an upgrade! WTF?"
They can't even use the phase, " I'm not a racist, I have mixed race grandkids."
1 zoom meeting, 1 freaking meeting on zoom, for like 1 hour, and he blew it up hard. Basically exposing themselves.
100% they gonna still make racist comments or shout at the kids when they either break something or say something wrong. So now, not only did they lose their 1st daughter, but now they lost their 2nd and probably last child along with their grandchildren.
Op, keep the kids away from them. Racist parents don't make good grandparents.
There was also a little extra context that Rslash may have accidentally missed, but he eluded to it at the end. The parents had another daughter before OP was born, but she died as a toddler, so she will always be their "perfect, obedient daughter" in their eyes. When OP was born, they named OP the same as their dead daughter, with some weird hope of her being a clone replacement of her dead sister. OP's new daughter was also given the dead sister's name, and *that* was a big reason why they contacted OP - to meet the "perfect daughter's" potential new replacement. So the "parents" would have played favorites or done something else fucked up if they hadn't exposed their racism first.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan that naming a baby after a deceased child is so gross. It makes my skin crawl. What did they think, that she would be exactly what they wanted? She's a person not a doll. 🤮 The pressure parents put on kids to live up to their ideals or they're dead to them is disgusting. It's a serious mental defect.
this reminds me of that cute story you covered where the person felt guilty for starting out the relationship as a gold digger, but then she genuinely started caring about him
Which one is that?
@@realrealwarpet It was from true of my chest. For context both parties were gold diggers. Man went after the look, woman went after the money and they both knew that. After some time both developed genuane feelings for each other.
@@kirincool2222 that actually sounds like a solid and good relationship tbh
@@denizkafa7424 Yes, it apparently grew into a good relationship.
@@realrealwarpet it was a recent one, check his posts.
Story 1: I hate gold digger stories. Imagine finding the love of your life, only to find out that they only wanted your money and would most likely dip after your money was down.
I'm glad that OP got rid of him.
But what does he mean on " 3 more years, and I am free"
@@kervinsantos5808 There might be a 3-year minimum requirement where they live in order for assets to be split evenly during a divorce.
@@seekeroftruth6728 yep, 100%. He was playing a long game. He shouldn’t have bragged to people about it. That was his first mistake. Second, was doing it at a place she owns, and was possible she’d show up. Third, was not sweeping the area to make sure it was secure before talking. OP’s mistake was not whipping her phone out and recording the conversation.
Yeah, he was clearly planning to stick around just long enough to 'earn' a hefty settlement. I'd also be worried that the gold digger might decide they want 100% of my money and try to kill me off. Scary.
And that's reason enough to not actually want to own a lot of money, too much headaches to be worth the trouble.
That first story is depressing AF. In that situation I’d have been recording with my phone from the side of the window. I absolutely love that he got angry and showed his true colours, where he’s just a shallow gold digger, a manipulator, tried lying, couldn’t be honest, then calling everything a “prank”, it’s just utter BS.
Hey, he wanted to be free, now he’s free!
She might want to discreetly let it be known to other wealthy people that he's a golddigger to protect any other woman from him.
In the last story I have a suspicion they wanted to see the grandchildren in the zoom call so they can gauge the skin tone. To see if they are 'worth' getting involved with before hand because they are racist towards the Dad.
Story 2: Oof, don't you hate when you have a mixed-race relationship and your parents are racists? I doubt the parents would've treated OP's kids all that nicely.
And for that slur, I think it's better to not say it. Better safe than sorry.
Pretty much the same story for all the gay people with homophobic parents too. Lot of old people in the next few decades gonna die alone
I looked it up it's equivalent to the N word
If anything they might choose their favorite. The most light skin one and the others would barely pay attention too. You could clearly tell
that word in 12:17 is another way to say the N-word, it's extremely racist, it's a pretty old one, but it's a slur.
@@loonywolf_art it's in Hebrew and yes it basically means the N work although in Hebrew it is slightly less loaded as the N word. It's actually in the Bible
1st story you forgot to mention that they called her trust fund BARBIE that implies that she’s at least attractive bro had the full package and lost it
HE FUMBLED.
Story 2: So they apparently thought the husband was taking advantage of their daughter, and their response was to block her on everything? If my parents thought I had been coerced into a marriage, they would try to stay close for my safety. Even if they hadn't shown their true colours, their own lie was enough of a red flag.
Detailed explanation of the slur:
"cushi" is a slur with its roots in Hebrew meaning a dark skinned person. It's a racist slur used mainly by Hebrew speakers and Jews against dark skinned persons, usually of African descent, but not exculsively.
It's the Hebrew equivalent of the N word, but it's treated as less severe culturally because Jewish and Israeli culture is still not very race sensitive / aware.
It's not very commonly used outside of Israel I don't think. Ik here in the UK the racist word is "shvartse" although it's not very common anymore either
That last bit isn't valid at all. We don't use it because it's racist, and we know it is.
Even though the term's original use wasn't supposed to be racist, Christians tend to ruin everything they touch, and so too with the word.
In the original Hebrew, the term referred to explicitly the feral and savage black people.
@@ah795u because racism has become less and less accepted
Careful, Dabney. One time someone read out a slur they didn't know the full extent of and got blasted in the comments. And the worst part is he was reading the story to spread awareness
That dad in the second story is just an unhealthy mix of . . . so much. Not only is he racist but obviously shows that he cared for the deceased, older sister more than OP. At OP's wedding, he was probably imagining her sister's wedding the whole time. I can't even imagine my father doing that.
I am so happy OP used some of his own words against him when breaking up with him. let him know, she heard it all. if he was just joking when he said those...why get offended, upset and feel like a victim when presented with a prenup? because he is pissed all this will be for nothing
I love when Rslash sounds like Fred from ScoobyDoo: "Aha! It was just Old Man Racism the entire time!"
Story 1 : as a former teacher of mine use to say :" no matter what you sat your always on camera and getting recorded ". Mark is the equivalent of dumb dumber and dumbest..
Story 2 : op should've only responded to her parents with :" who are you and I'm not interested in talking to strangers " and blocked them on everything..
In the 50's and 60's parents would teach their kids to never do, say or write anything they wouldn't want published on the front page of the local newspaper or in the program distributed each week at church.
So, it's been an issue for ages. It's just easier to share it to a wider audience of both local acquaintances and far flung strangers now. You should have heard the lectures we received when Polaroid cameras came out.
@@donnashappyplace 👌👌 agree.. always leave plausible deniability ..
This is why I like DadSlash so much! I wholeheartedly agree! I have 3 kids and I have difficulty when work has me away for a week! I call every single day to hear them, twice a day if I can make it happen. I absolutely have so much love for my family that being bigoted like that and spending 5 YEARS no contact is madness to me.
Listening to pre-DadSlash and post-DadSlash are so funny to listen to, you can hear the “oh shit my kid might have to deal with this/how dare anyone treat their children this way!” Hit like a truck. Also the exhaustion 😂
I resently listen to pre-dadslash and there's a video where he jokingly predicted the covid-19 pandemic
In some cultures marrying your boss is see as being, by the bosses family, as them marrying an uncultured low class gold digger and from the other end that they were a class traitor marrying into a higher station. That said the racist parent thing completely overshadows that.
For story one, if it was a lie which is .01% chance, then that still shows what type of person Mark is. 99% says is was the drunken truth, the type of truth that presents itself from the subconscious after having too many. Either, OP made the right decision.
I love that I can FEEL how much rSlash loves his kid, when he talks about her
Before I moved, my neighbors was a family of 6 (mother, father, 1 son {the youngest} and 3 daughters). The eldest daughter died in a car accident when she was hit by a drunk truck driver, the second daughter was shot during an armed robbery in a jewelry store, and the youngest daughter died from leukemia in 3 consecutive years. Seeing how those parents cling to their remaining child is heartbreaking. How could you throw away your daughter because she married someone of a particular skin colour? That should be an actual crime and they should be arrested.
For story 1, I think the fact that he freaked out about a prenup tells you everything. If you don't plan on divorce, a prenup should be almost nothing
That's a pretty one-side POV. The other side is: if you don't plan on a divorce, then a prenup isn't needed. A prenup is a great idea imo, but people's feelings can legitimately be hurt by the idea that one cannot be trusted.
So the only thing that makes me hesitate to agree is that in general most people don’t need prenups. In her situation, absolutely.
I think for average people a prenup does feel like expecting a divorce
If everyone had a prenup clearly delineating assets and expectations, it would save a lot of headaches and prevent gaslighting when everything is in writing.
Being upset at the idea a relationship could ever go wrong is understandable, but honestly immature. Freaking out over it is not necessary.
Story#2: Honestly, the fact that OP and her husband went to HR to have herself reassigned as a role equal to his so they could properly date is pretty romantic.
Dabney is such a wholesome dad and person, he's what we'd call in mexico a "pan de dios" 🥺💖
That's really lovely 😊
Bread of diety
Listen, when I was listening to story two, it seemed so tame and I asked myself "where is this going? There's going to be a sharp turn so what could it possibly be?" And trust me when I say that I was NOT prepared to read "Turns out my parents are racists" in the chapter name. Holy shit.
Story 1:
Lesson 1. Don’t be a sneaky ass gold digger when you already have a good thing lined up
Lesson 2. DON’T MONOLOGUE.
Edit
Story 2, i’ve never heard that slur, being black myself, but let’s be adults and know rSlash didn’t mean it offensively.
I think it's the equivalent of "Jin Jockey" where a white man has a relationship with an Aboriginal women, who has dark skin
I have never been able to understand racists. Nobody chose to be born into their particular race or culture, so why do some people think it’s okay to hate others solely because of something they don’t have any control over?
No, I agree, calling someone a racial slur is not indicative of a racist attitude, the same way as slapping someone is not indicative of assault. Oh, wait, it is.
Ok, so surfing through the comments I noticed a lot of other mixed race people and not white people of all races were condoning R/ use of the racial slur, while the comments that seemed to be condemning him seemed to be made up of white people. I am Cuban, Native American, and English mix, I have had all sorts of derogatory slurs thrown my way, and that was when it was offensive. If say a slur and it isn't specifically meant to insult someone then it is just a word in a sentence. If someone gets offended over a word when it isn't being used to insult someone then they are just being crybabies.
Do not get offended on other people's behalf, if they are offended, they will tell you.
Do NOT let your parents back into your life. If they're willing to ghost their own god damn daughter for 5 years just think of the kind of mental and emotional damage their flakey presence could cause for your kids.
Typed that first part out before I saw how long the story was and just... yikes on trikes with the slur part.
during the second story i was so worried that the problem with why OP's parents aren't talking to her is because of her husband being like controlling and deliberately pushing her parents away. to find out that its just because her parents are racist was such a relief! like racists bad, but i'm so happy OP is in a healthy relationship.
Story 2:
OP's husband: Logical argument explaining their wrongful behaviour towards OP.
Dad: *Time to use ol' reliable*
I live in Israel.
The word cushi comes, as you said, from the bible. Moses's wife is described as a Cushite Women (not as a slur).
It has come into modern Hebrew as a racist slur against blacks.
It could be one of two cases:
1. A Jew from Ethiopia
2. An African immigrant
It's almost definitely the first.
Sadly, we have racists here too.
The only weird thing is that in Israel the wedding almost always happens in the hall when the dinner is and the reception is usually first.
Reception -> Wedding ceremony -> Dinner
Maybe they're Israeli-American or something? Good point.
@@garybacon659 probably former Israelis living in the US.
But in that case, I would have expected the parents to object more to him not being Jewish.
@@theblitz9 he may still be a Jew. There are black Jews.
@@MushroomMayhem true. Just giving an example.
Would love to see the original post so i can ask
@@MushroomMayhem of course, but not a huge number tbf
I remember the first story from a long time ago!!! For a second story about the woman whose parents didn't finish her wedding and then blocked her after everything for 5 years after, if there's gonna behave this way and treat their own child this way I have no reason to think that they would treat your children any differently or worse. If your parents know just because they have almost 3 grandkids wanna come in dear life it's too late they should've been around for the very 1st one now they wantna come in after 3? Absolutely not
I can understand what RSlash said about his opinion and feelings about the second story and how he would never treat his daughter like OP’s parents did.
I’ll probably never be a mother due to mental health and financial reasons, but my sister might. My sister and I would never judge her children for what partners they chose based on appearance or ethnicity. Nor would anyone else in our families. We would love them like family. The only thing we would oppose are those who threaten to harm them.
congratulations on being a decent person. its sad that we don't hear from people like you who have their head on straight more often. your nieces and nephews are going to love you!
Hearing R/Slash saying something he's unsure of, and being so apologetic shows how much of a non-racist person he is, lmao it's also funny af when he exclaimed, "They are racist!" Made me laugh out so loud my roommates asked what was up xD
If the dude in the first story just didn’t bring his friends over to his gf house he would have completely gotten away with it. Op is super lucky this guy wasn’t smarter.
Thank you for your dedication to posting content daily, I really enjoy the best of editor updates, malicious compliance, and Nice Guy versus nice girl. ❤️
Sometimes I am surprised so I don't see as many tree law Reddit posts nowadays. Maybe that means people are learning? 😅
Sadly, I can relate to the first story all too well. My ex accidentally admitted he was a gold digger to me during an agreement we had after he had proposed and I said no ( because I didn't think our relationship was solid enough for that kind of commitment at that point which was a few years in and we already lived together so I didn't feel like there was a rush). He said when he met me he saw some pics of me online that let him know I came from money. The first one was me on my parent's porch. It didn't even show the house but I guess the door, the stones, and the window looked expensive. Also, there was a pic of me and a friend in her car. I didn't think you could tell what kind of car it was but I guess he recognized the symbol on the steering wheel. Anyway, that was what made him want to date me. He really understand that the things my parents had weren't mine. I had no clue he was a gold digger. He came from a upper middle class family.
I should have figured out he was when we got our apartment ( my first) and he only wanted to contribute $300 towards all monthly expenses ( like rent, utilities, cable, food, toilet paper, or whatever we needed). I thought it was gonna be 50/50 but he insisted he needed to save money. He never said what for but I kinda thought maybe he wanted to buy me a ring. ( I was very naive and way too optimistic looking back). In that same argument he admitted he was never attached to me at all. He just figured he could tough out being with me until we got married. Also, he was able to save up plenty of money the time we were together considering I paid for almost everything. I did that with my 2 jobs and I had to come home and do all the cooking and cleaning as well. Idk why I was so blind. It was soul crushing. It made me think back to all the times he didn't want to have sex and since I knew at that point that he was never attracted to me it made sense. He did try to take it back and said he said those things just because he was mad but if that was the case why would he specifically remember 2 pics with great detail that made me look like I had money ( in his eyes). I wasnt even the kind of person to pose in front of expensive cars or show off what I had. Most of my pics were of the outdoors.
After that day, I couldn't go back to the way were even though he kept on trying. I think the reason may have been he realized even if I didn't marry him I was still worth something as I paid the bills, did all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning. He said before me he never dated a woman who weighed more than 120lbs and he was ashamed to be seen with me in public. I know I'm chubby but didn't think I was so big that I was repulsive like he described. He also said thanks to me he looked at all woman differently and that all of them ( even the ones he wouldn't give a 2nd glance at) looked better to him in comparison to me. Idk if he really meant all that or was just being cruel but it really did effect me. I haven't dated anyone since. And I make sure I use an actual picture of me so people dont talk to me and think I might be pretty when Im not. I'd rather people to see me as I am and decide to speak to me because of something I might have said instead of being mislead in anyway. Not that I would date again but Id rather be candid. I feel so sorry for OP. That was a bad way to find out. I probably wouldn't have found out myself if he didn't lose his temper with me until it was too late. Now, Im just one of those woman who live alone with a cat and listens to Rslash everyday. I hope Op did end up finding someone who appreciated her.
What a sad story. I’ve never understood how people can be intentionally cruel. You deserve someone who adores you, for you. Who thinks you’re more beautiful than anybody else in the world. Who would live in a shack in the woods or a tiny walk-up studio with you. Don’t give up, there are good men out there. Don’t go looking, just enjoy yourself, love your life, love yourself, and he’ll turn up one day.
That is heartbreaking, I can’t imagine that kind of betrayal. But you shouldn’t give up on dating, he doesn’t deserve to be your last relationship. Success is the best revenge. You can survive him and live a happy life with someone who will cherish you like you deserve
@@karenneill9109 Thank you, I gave up a while ago and I'm ok with it. I'm happy with spending time with family and friends. They are enough for me.
@@hollandguthrie2005 Thank you, I don't think he even knows he was my last relationship. Its been 8 years now. I got use to being on my own and I am happy with my friends and family.
@@TheOfficialTarynTots Good for you!
i love how in both of these stories, they exposed their true colors and saved the OPs from years of misery.
Dang, both stories today were a doozy. I have heard the second story before and I want to comment on the initial story before the OP posts the update. OP didn't add a time limit to her initial email of telling her parents that if they could learn to respect her and her relationship they could have contact again. The simple fact that her and the brother missed is that they didn't even fulfil that simple requirement! The parents only reached out because they found out they had grandbabies and it wasn't about wanting to get back in touch with their daughter. Obviously the update makes that pretty clear but, just wanted to point that part out as I feel like both the OP and her brother just skipped over that detail when they talked about the issue.
as someone dating a woman who's family doesn't approve she's seeing me, I needed to hear that second story. I don't hear stories like that often and it's good to hear from someone who went thru something similar
In the 2nd story the word "cushi" is in Hebrew it has the same meaning as the N word
Yikes. That’s a nasty word.
@@CP-ho2wj indeed it is
Ah thanks for clarifying! What a nasty, poor excuse of a father.
@@lwolfstar7618 indeed he is just a small little man with big ego and stuiped opinion
If it actually did why can you type 1 but not the other?
can we just talk about how good of a dad rSlash sounds like?
1st story: there is absolutely no reason a prenup is a bad thing. There is ultimately no downside to it unless you have malicious intentions. You stay together and support each other or separate and end off close to were you started.
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I heard both of these stories from Lost Genre. I would love it if you would cover the story about the woman who lost her family to a drunk driver and one of her friends tried to set up a wedding on the day that her family was killed while insisting that OP should attend the wedding.
You need to document how long it’s been since you spoke to them and everything that’s been said since then, because they can try to sue you for grandparents rights visitation. And after not speaking to you for so long I don’t think a judge will actually grant them that but it’s better to be prepared
Good point. Though it'd be easy enough to gauge how involved they've been in their grandchildren's lives simply asking these bigots what their grandkids' names, dates of birth, or ages are. The silence would speak volumes.
@@TheKillerqueen40 if courts can force a man to pay child support for a child he never even knew existed and had only met the mother a few times (and never had sex with her), then they can force “grandparents rights”. A man in Detroit is in jail right now for not paying child support for a kid that’s not his. The kid’s mother simply put this man’s name down as the father after only knowing he was fairly wealthy. Then she took him to court and the judge didn’t care about dna. The court system is so broken I wouldn’t trust it to do the right thing.
@@cherokeeirishman9612 fair point. That is one broken system.
As a child abuse survivor who hasn’t had contact with my mother or brother for several years, it’s not unfair to have zero contact with absentee family members, so do not feel guilty at all here, that’s on your parents for being so disgustingly hateful. You don’t even owe them an explanation, sometimes it’s just the healthiest thing to do. In my case I avoid more abuse (psychological, physical violence, homophobia, ableism, theft, it goes on) and I refuse to allow my abusers back into my life, I’m a lot healthier and happier not speaking to them. In OPs case they decided their hatred, bigotry and racism was more important than staying in their daughters life, and honestly if someone is THAT hateful then you just don’t need them in your life, regardless if they’re related to you or not.
They’re very blatantly lying about “oh your boss was clearly taking advantage”, that’s to cover up their true feelings, which are very obviously based on hate. It’s very obvious that your children shouldn’t be exposed to racists like that, that OP doesn’t need toxic people in her life, and her husband does not deserve to be exposed to disgusting racists.
Second Story: I feel like it is always the parents who have children because of ego and/or have someone to take care of them in their old age, that do this. They don't see their children as individuals, only a means to an end and when they don't do what the parents created them to do then they have no purpose in the parents' life. The Dad in the story obviously just wanted to walk the daughter down the aisle more for his ego/tradition than to actual lovingly support his daughter. Just like both parents probably only want to see the grandchildren for more chances to have control over the daughter and stroke their egos because then they can show to other people 'oh, look how much we care about our grandbabies! we are the best grandparents ever!'
"I'm racist but don't worry, I won't let that slip in front of your MIXED children"
Nahhh. Nope. For one, being toxic with me means I don't want you around my kids PERIOD. Your beef with me DOES extend to them and by not allowing you in their life, I AM protecting them.
Two, my mom was racist towards my husband by asking if he was legal or if my marriage was even real or not. There would be absolutely no way I would ever allow that around my kids. There is no "I don't like (insert race) but your spouse is fine". Like no. You just invalidated my spouse AS A BEING.
"IT'S JUST GOOD OL' FASHIONED RACISM" -rSlash 2022
It's AMAZING how liborating it feels, to find the reason X happened, wasn't because of Y, but just because racism, because it's so much easier to deal with and cut those people off than if Y was the reason.
I honestly have no issues with someone using a word considered to be a racial slur when quoting or reading something which uses the racial slur.
I don't judge the quoter/reader especially when they're doing so to point up the heinousness of using those words. I will judge them if they appear to be using the quote to enforce their own negative racial biases.
As you weren't doing the latter there is neither harm nor foul for reading the word in the story which the OP themself used the word to point up their own parent's racial biases.
Don't stress about it D. I got your back.
Last story - the dad couldn’t stop himself from saying a slur in front of HIS daughter, how could he ever guarantee that he wouldn’t say it in front of her kids?
I have a daughter, she's my only child, and the thought of not talking to her for FIVE years is just, completely incomprehensable to me. I can barely go three days without talking to her, since she lives with her dad, and also is a ttenager, so parents aren't her priority right now
12:32, the Cushi slur that your father dropped is same as a Southern man calling him a Coon, or a N Bomb.
Do think its SUPER FUNNY that your parents still think after calling your HUSBAND a Racial Slur, they still think they are ENTITLED to see THEIR GRAND CHILDREN... they couldn't even say YOUR CHILDREN, they INSIST on calling them THEIR GRAND CHILDREN like they own them in some way.
First story : Somehow, I think he started alright, but got corrupted along the way. Surely he didn't know who you were when he first approached you, right?
Why is it such a problem for someone to fall in love with their boss? As long as neither side exploits it in regard to work (e.g. wanting a promotion vs giving a promotion etc).
People do spend a lot of time at work - that's where they meet other people and spend time with them. Of course, some will meet their partner during work/at work.
Just tell HR and/or switch departments if possible and everything is fine.
"I'm not a racist.. I just use racist insults against people of color..." - Yeah, way to go buddy
"I'm not a racist.. I just use racist insults against the race it relates to..."
I’m Israeli and I want to add a bit about the word from the second story. The word is from the bible but nowadays no one is using it in the biblical way. Kush was an ancient kingdom in Africa so the slur means someone from Kush. No one is using this word to talk respectfully about PoC and they are bullshiting you if they are saying otherwise.Nowadays it’s used like the N word. It’s similar to saying the N word but the word doesn’t have the same history as the N word (like how PoC reclaimed the word). Some Israeli PoC are okay with white people using this word while others don’t want anyone using it.
I’m willing to bet OP’s dad doesn’t use this word regularly and he used it to be hateful to OP’s husband. Yikes
Even giving the person the in the first story the benefit of the doubt, even if it was all just a joke and they weren't actually a gold digger, I wouldn't want to be with the kind of person that could say that about their partner, so even in the best case scenario its still a massive red flag. They dodged a bullet regardless of the actual intentions
Story 1: I’m gonna play devil’s advocate and say OP let her parents get the better of her. Actions speak MUCH louder than words. We have a fiancé that, by OPs own admission, paid for his own things, refused extravagant gifts from her family, and cooked for OP on multiple occasions. All around painting the picture of a frugal and honest partner. Meanwhile the father is constantly judging him calling him a gold digger and spitting poison in her ear. Then she finds one moment of weakness where the fiancé is joking with his friends saying he has the highlife (even though he has never taken advantage of it once). This was the catalyst that justified everything her father said and OP let’s it get to her head.
Immediately following this one line from an entire conversation that we have no clue the full context, OP goes to daddy and he immediately takes the reigns. The father was even there to do the dirty work for her with the prenup! Also, lest be very honest here: I don’t care what the situation is. If someone approaches you and slams a prenup in your face with the words “this is mandatory for this wedding to happen”, thats fighting words and you WILL be offended. Period. So when he had the very reasonable response that was to be expected, daddy’s girl decides to throw her entire relationship away.
Now, is he a gold digger? Is daddy in law right? Did OP do the right thing? Who knows. But let’s be honest with ourselves. EVERYONE on this forum has said things in their life in jest that had no true merit. We’ve joked about our spouses and told our friends things that we don’t mean and are blatantly having fun with the situations we live in. Based on the story presented here though I feel this entire situation was doomed to fail because of the father constantly belittling the fiancé and putting doubt into her ear. It was just a bomb waiting to be set fire, and one conversation taken out of context was the spark. But that’s my opinion.
For the last story:
Hooooooo boy, it’s time to turn those 5 years of no contact into infinite years of no contact
It just sucks that OP had to find out that her parents are huge racists after they disappeared from her life
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🤣 "oh, theyre racist. okay this an easy one"
"I'll just say it and hope for the best." Famous last words
When a parent only contacts their practically disowned children only for the sake of seeing their grand-children, that's already a huge red flag of toxic behavior. Those kind of grandparents deserve nothing but spending their final years in loneliness to shame them for being such bigots.
I can honestly say that you are right, loosing a child is without doubt the worst pain you can ever feel. My 3 month old son died in 87 and we stil grieve to this day. May you never feel it.
My oldest child died at 24 weeks, I couldn't imagine disowning my children at all, but especially not after that. Because one day he was fine, then he never woke up, and there is no guarantee that they will outlive me, and there's no guarantee that your kids will maintain a close relationship with you once they're grown, so every moment is precious.
gold digger joke would be like yes, I am going to be the best, happy little house husband I can be. Not revealing my 3 year plan
I really love when you do update videos because they are so satisfying to get a conclusion to
There's nothing wrong with retroactively putting a time limit on something you said in the past. You're allowed to change your mind over 5 years as well.
You're right. Most people approve of people changing their minds if they decide they want to reconcile after all, so it should be okay to do the reverse. At least OP got some answers so it wasn't hazy anymore.
1st story: This story is a clear example of the fact that men can be golddiggers, too. However, male golddiggers are something we men despise the most, because, to most of us, a man may lose the woman he loves, he may lose his job, he may even wreck his life to a point of no return, but he will never lose his dignity.
This cockroach is a master manipulator. In fact he was so good that OP will never trust a man completely, even if he is a total sweetheart. I feel sorry for her, and I'd like to apologize to her on behalf of all decent men out there. We'd like to get broke or at the edge of our lives than fall so low and be such disgusting golddiggers.
That last story was wild. I never knew the word cushi had any other meaning than describe an easy job that pays well.
The kinda funny thing is with that last story I never knew that word was a racist word. And my cat's name is Kushi.....
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Story 2
Yup, cut contact and make sure everyone knows these grandparents cannot pick up these kids (school, daycare, etc).
I thought because I’m not rich, I’m immune to Gold Diggers. But guess what?
Sometimes what is Gold to another is not money.
It could be stability.
Just because I had a day job, my own place and ride, I had become a target to this chick.
Let’s Just say “the bar is not very high out there!”
1st story: husband is a gaslighter.
They didnt mention that their husband farts on a lighter
I’m going through a similar thing as OP in the second story in that the entire side of my mother’s family disowned me and hasn’t spoken to me in over 3 years because they didn’t like the guy I was dating/marrying. Why, you might ask? I have no idea. My suspicions are either because he’s half Puerto Rican or because he’s Jewish on his mother’s side (or maybe both).
But I’ve always wondered what we were going to do when we had kids and if they decided contact us after the fact- and I think this story answers that question perfectly. From start to finish, Op handled this situation in the best way she possibly could have. I probably would have deleted the voicemail and wiped my hands clean of my mom and stepdad regardless of how sincere the apology was.
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Story 2: There's no way the parents wrote that letter right after the wedding. How were they planning to be there for her if they immediately blocked her on everything?
as somebody jewish, we don't have/use any racist terms so it must be middle eastern. hope this helps r/slash! :)
Uh, no. It's a Jewish term.
r/Slash... I'm black. Don't worry about that word.. I'm not worried at ALL!!
Keep on keeping on!
What was left out in the last story is the parents wanted to see the kids on video to see if they look black..... racism at its finest
Person: *calls someone a racial slur specifically to insult them based on their race*
Also that person: I'm not racist, I swear!
What is the logic in that? You literally partake in racism and then claim you're not being racist despite the fact that your phrase was said with express intent to _be_ racist! This poor lady, I feel so bad for her and her husband and children. I wouldn't wanna involve her dad in her kids' lives either.
The second story is basically dark comedy. OP is struggling on how to handle doing against social norms to make it easier for everyone and to let her kids' grandparents into their lives after so many years, and then turns out there racists and to not bother
Love watching/listening to these every day, always look forward to 7 my time
R/slash is the least racist person on TH-cam which deserves a trophy in itself
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"I'm not racist! I'm just calling your husband, the father of the grandkids we are demanding to meet, a slur"
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If I was OP for the 2nd story.
I'd proclaim, "Ok... Well he [points at husband] is far richer than you, and he will be a better father, than you have been to me and my sister... Also we're gonna do it over an hour later 😃"
We understand you, RSlash, but Twitter will show no such mercy
I doubt Twitter will even try going after him since Rslash isn't a big TH-cam name like Markiplier or PewDiePie and since it's a podcast channel all it takes is watching the video just to find out it was simply taken out of context.
We’d all come to his defense if it did
rSlash is not a racist, he's said several racial slurs - censored out of course, many times, but it's because
I've got quite a few examples of people marrying their colleagues:
Densi - Kensi and Deeks, both NCIS Special Agents, the latter whom was an LAPD NCIS Liaison at the time of the marriage. The actress and actor portraying them, Daniela Ruah and Eric Christian Olsen, are siblings-in-law IRL, as Daniela is married to Paul David Olsen, Eric's brother, who's also his brother's stunt double, and no, they're not twins, lol, but they are brothers
Then there's Caskett - Castle and Beckett, they're not *technically* colleagues, but they work together nonetheless, Castle as an advisor and Beckett as a cop
Ellie and Jake from NCIS, both worked for the NSA at the time of them being a couple, dating, engaged and married, and when Ellie went over to NCIS, they suddenly couldn't talk about NSA work
McAbby, which is McGee and Abby, both who work(ed) for NCIS, the latter doesn't work there anymore. They briefly dated early season 1-2, or maybe also during season 3, I'm not sure, but Abby never told McGee he was sleeping and doing more than sleeping, in a *coffin* tho, I doubt that's why they broke up
Tiva - Tony and Ziva, who ended up having a daughter together. Enough said
Fielding McGee - Delilah Fielding and Timothy "Tim" Farragut "McMany McNicknames" McGee, not directly colleagues, but with Delilah being one who's worked with Gibbs' team, the team McGee is on, on multiple occasions, they *are* colleagues that way, but still
EVEN GIBBS HIMSELF BROKE HIS OWN Rule 12: "Never date your co-workers", by dating Jennifer "Jenny" Sheppard, deceased NCIS Director
Bro, of my spouse is loaded, I wouldnt wanna divorce them. That’s an easy life from then on! If they ask for a prenup, my only condition is to add a clause that nullifies the whole thing if financial abuse occurs. That way they cant hold their money over me to keep me in place. Id walk away if they say no.
I can't imagine (or won't) the heartbreak of a child dying. But I can't imagine trashing your living child for "not living up to the standard" of your dead child. When the "Golden Child" dies, is it so hard to accept that your scapegoat kid is just doing the best with what you provided them? If (racial slur) and (woman) are both NOT IDEAL, and considered second class, is it really surprising that the "undesirables" find solace and strength in each other? Want to make sure your grandchildren are all (slur)? Be a racist misogynist. that'll do it.