The thing is the wedding is already planned thus they go searching for dresses and meeting the family and what not. Weddings are usually placed in advance
@@KarmaTube5 yes obviously. I said that the wedding should be postponed if you have to pay in AITA BECAUSE it's already a set date. You wouldn't have to postpone anything if a date wasn't set
@@KarmaTube5 that is exactly the point. If they have allready a date, it has to be postponed, since there is a biiig issue if they have to post in AITA
@@KarmaTube5 Yes, but if the fiance is more in love with his mother than his bride to be, all those plans need to go up in smoke. Fast. Breaking off an engagement is heart breaking, but divorce five or ten years later is worse.
@@sourisvoleur4854 it kinda gives me small town vibes that this happened, the step dad was stupid enough to show evidence of it AND THE THERAPIST ADMITS TO IT! And it seems Rslash is really going lenient with some of his ratings because this should've easily been 4/5.
@@Forold His ratings are always pretty lenient. I don't think I've ever heard him give a 5/5. I think you'd legit have to kill someone to get that score.
Story 1: she used you as a cover for her only fans so if someone found it you get all the shame, danger, and reputation, but you're the one who betrayed her trust? No, she didn't want to face any shame or creepy guy so she tried to use you as a human shield.
Right? Imagine someone else finding it first and bringing it to her parents and her parents laying it into her and the twin denying it was hers. I bet you she would have done that
Exactly this. She straight up used her sister like a disposable tool. I'd recommend a lawyer to put the fear of god into her. She already demonstrated she has no sense of morality on this subject - only frustration that she was caught and stopped.
I was all ready to say yes, she was, until i found out she was using OP's name! omg! if she'd been using her own name, that would have been none of OP's business. but since she was trying to make the OP the target of any creepy behavior....wow. what a horrible human being that sister is!
I'm sick and tired of hearing about doctors, nurses, therapists, etc, betraying their patients. And when the wronged party seeks justice, people tell them "you shouldn't destroy their careers, you're so mean" Damn
Yeah and they're other comments that I agree with the therapist could have been scratching the surface for abuse and now won't trust the therapist. People like that don't deserve to keep their career.
If you literally can’t be trusted with vulnerable people and their information, you shouldn’t be allowed to go near them, let alone have a career that specializes in just that.
Screw giving the dress a chance: THIS MAN doesn't deserve a chance. If mama's boy is going to be this controlling before OP marries him, imagine afterwards. Get out of there, OP.
If I had a nickel for every reddit wedding story where it was clear that the mother wanted to be the one marrying the groom instead of the bride, I'd have more than two and let's all agree it's weird how often this subtext comes up.
The therapist only getting a 3/5? No man. I'm sorry. This therapist deserves a 10/5. If she's breaching doctor/patient confidentiality with the OP's kid, they're most likely breaking it with other clients. They need their license suspended pending investigation.
Exactly I have an educator because I am autistic and it’s for me to fit in society and she needs my permission to share info about me to my parents because of the laws
I had a therapist talk to my parents behind my back, it destroyed me. I couldn't trust anyone for years, it effected my relationships. That therapist is 200% a butthole
Can the mom give the step dad access to the information? The kids a minor so I'm curious if they'll try and back date this decision to make it ok? Edit: I'm aware that therapy sessions are private and even parent's aren't allowed to know unless the patient is a danger to themselves or others. Please stop replying to this comment, I've had this explained 5 times already.
@@H-to-O I was more so asking as I'm not sure how access to someone's medical records work. Since I'm not a minor I have full access and control on who can access them. But for a minor I know at least one parent has to know and I imagine they can give access if needed but I'm not sure if the mother can give access to the step dad. If she can they could try and pull some shady crap, something the therapist is already use to.
That last story just brought stuff flooding back. When I was 10 or 11 my mother put me in therapy because I “wasn’t talking to her as much” (duh! I was a preteen! Plus I was starting to realize she was abusive). The therapist she picked was creepy in so many ways, but one of the things he would do is talk to mom for 10-15 minutes after each session. Then I’d get in trouble for things I said in therapy. So obviously he was just telling her everything I told him. I eventually stopped talking in sessions at all and mom canceled therapy because she felt it was a waste of money if I wasn’t going to talk. I remember the betrayal and the feeling that I couldn’t ever get away from her. That no where was safe, not even my own head, and it made me feel crazy. I remember getting punished just for having emotions and verbalizing them in therapy. It took _ages_ before I could fully trust a therapist again because I thought this was normal. My child has been in therapy and it was a wake-up call to how I was treated. The therapist would call me back to talk to him for 5 minutes or so, but it was only once in a while, and the therapist _only_ ever asked me how my kid was doing at home and if I’ve noticed anything different. He never once told me what my kid said in sessions at all. And I always told my kid what we talked about because I didn’t want him to think we were talking negatively about him or that the therapist was telling me what they talked about. That’s how it should be.
My mom is the same way. She complains why I don't talk to her much but is oblivious to the physically and verbal abuse she has put me through as a child. She impatient, dramatic, intolerant, and loves to complain/talk a lot. I've been considering going to therapy once I move out.
Story 1: issue could have literally been avoided by using a different username. Sister just wanted to be able to say it wasn’t her. What a deceitful thing to do 🤮
It really seem like her OnlyFans account is really a weapon to take down OP's life and reputation. The bit at the beginning where OP's sister is always competing with her for everything is a strong clue for this and it sounds like OP's sister is one of those "I want what my sister has" type of siblings as we've seen in this well known story rSlash read from r/relationships, except with that one, the sister was spoiled and was treated as the real true child of the family while the younger sibling is not their child, but rather their slave and ATM for the true child.
That last story hit home hard. I stopped participating in therapy after my therapist as a kid told my narcissistic mother everything I said. OP did the right thing.
I grew up in a small town and my parents knew everyone, something happened and was asked if I wanted therapy. I said no because I didn't want my parents to know what I was thinking. Even if the therapist wasn't planning on tell them something might slip out the next time they talked.
The last story was crystal clear. Any therapist who breaks confidentiality of a patient, especially a teen, needs to be disciplined. My kid was in therapy for several years. I NEVER asked the therapist to break confidentiality. That trust is just too precious to destroy.
While I agree that a therapist shouldn't break confidentiality if it's not absolutely necessary, the fact is that legally, therapists working with minors are obligated to keep the parents in the loop about the minor's treatment and progress. Moreover, legally, the therapist is obligated to break confidentiality, if a parent / legal guardian demands it - which is what I suspect happened in this case. The supposed "therapist commenter" who responded to the story, probably isn't a licensed therapist as he claims. If he was, he'd know that therapists are legally obligated to provide full disclosure to parents of minors in therapy.
I'm also incredibly angry at that therapist... it's not only the break of confidentiality but that entitled attitude that his patient was "badmouthing" the stepdad... where did he even get his qualification as a therapist from? How could he not even consider that the bad stuff the patient was talking about was VALID? Family problems are after all the number 1 reason why people need therapy in the first place... omg the score is way too low for that guy
We do have to break confidentiality in some aspects: if a patient is thinking about harming themselves or others, if they know about or talk about potential child abuse or potential elder abuse. Those are things the therapist is protected if they break confidentiality for. All other reasons to break confidentiality are not allowed as a therapist.
I used to be an event coordinator at a space that did primarily weddings. I was blown away by how difficult the mothers of the GROOMS were! The brides were mostly delightful, their parents were also usually pleasant (they were also usually footing the bill, so I understood their tension when I encountered it). The grooms were either really wonderful or really awful, but their mothers were almost always condescending, controlling Karens
Story 3: That's not something your husband gets to decide whether he likes him or not. Especially since your dad didn't do anything to actually hurt this guy, they just don't have the same opinion on things.
Honestly the fiancé’s entire relationship with OP’s dad is terrible. He’s super disrespectful about pretty much everything and downright cruel about the dad’s struggles losing his wife. Big red flag in my book.
@@katherinezimmerman6997 It seems like he's trying to isolate her from the only family she has. Every issue she cited was her fiance trying to exert control. He wanted to control the father's possessions (truck), his speech (talking about struggles), and his finances (wedding contribution). When he couldn't, he decided to destroy her relationship with her dad. I really hope she saw the signs of abuse and gtfo'd.
Story 3: seems like OP's (hopefully ex) fiancee wants to alienate the father to keep closer tabs on OP and is using petty grievances to justify it. Super controlling.
The last story… The step dad was SO concerned for his stepson that he immediately used that info against him and punished him for “bad mouthing him” to the therapist. 😡
Story 2: I think the MIL's comment was very telling. She's not looking at OP as her own person with her own tastes and opinions, she's looking at OP as "my son's bride" that you can just plug into the "vision" she has for the wedding.
Last story: Doctor/patient confidentiality is crucial and the fact that the kids mom/stepdad would ask the therapist to break that trust AND have the nerve to call OP "controlling" is actually insane. OP did the kid a huge favour as well as any of the therapists future clients by reporting him 100%NTA
On the bright side this can also be a means of getting the son back under op's roof and away from the step dad. If the dad's punishing the son for just saying stuff I don't want to know what he'd do if the kid did something.
Yeah, definitely needs to get the kid a new therapist, have a long talk with his kid that what the therapist and step dad did is unacceptable/kid did nothing wrong, and I would go to a judge and ask for full custody until a new therapist has been found and worked with the kid long enough that the therapist agrees is okay to share custody with the mom again.
One of the most important aspects of therapy work is that you won't get punished for what you say or think. The fact that the therapist told the Step dad, enabling SD to punish the boy, completely defeats that purpose. Honestly, the mother needs to be re-examined in how fit she is to raise OP's son. The fact she let what SD do what he did, then sided against OP when OP reported malpractice gives a thousand pictures as to what kind of parent she is.
That last story worries me so much.That therapist could have just begun to scratch the surface of some abuse by that step-dad (a big red flag is that response of selling the kid's property as punishment). The idea that this kid has now been shown that he can't trust a therapist, someone you should be safe with, is also so damaging.
It makes me wonder which set of parents had the dog that passed. I've heard of cases where pets have been used to manipulate and abuse kids, and OP's kid's reaction to his pet passing makes me worry about that. The fact that step-dad didn't shut this down, that his reaction is to sell a bike due to being "badmouthed," and that the kid's mom doesn't seem to see anything wrong with any of this... I sure hope OP does a lot more digging.
I’m working on becoming an art therapist (going to start my master’s program this year), and man, the therapist screwed up. Beginning in my few counseling class in my undergraduate years, they rammed the importance of ethics and privacy for patients, and I’m sure they had this very idea in mind. The therapist literally shared private information to an abusive relative. I’m disappointed and infuriated that this is the influence this child now has about the idea of therapy, and I worry about the kid in the future. I hope the therapist loses his license.
This! So much this! I am getting a very bad feeling that the son's "badmouthing" of the step-dad was not just simply "he makes me do housework," and more about something much, much more serious that is being swept under the rug! I really hope that kid is okay.
These were my exact thoughts as well. The step dads behavior is SUPER concerning and that therapist should have never aired the kid's feelings like that.
My best friend is a therapist. If I found out he was doing anything like the therapist in the last story was doing, I'd report him and never talk to him again.
The only time therapists are allowed to share information from confidential sessions is as stated, when they believe their client is in danger of hurting themselves or others. And even then they're only allowed to pass the information on to the police or relevant authorities! That therapist deserves to lose their job. At least.
Second story: I get the feeling that OP's mother-in-law missed out on having her dream wedding for some reasons and now tries to see that dream wedding happen through OP. That's super toxic behaviour.
Or rather, she wants her dream wedding to be about her and then pass her dream wedding to her kids and my guess is also her grandchildren too, her entire life and every single major events she's part of to be about her. Like what we've seen before on this channel.
Story 1 : " am I the a hole for protecting myself " is what the first the first story should be named. NTA.. got to give op friend some good looking out points as the friend is more family to op then op sister.. Story 2 : NTA.. time to return momma boy to his mommy. Story 3 : NTA.. time to walk a different Isle op.. Story 4 : NTA.. time to walkout on this 1 sided "relationship ".. Story 5 : " am I the a hole for reporting a therapist who broke all kinds of medical laws" .. NTA op ..you did the world a favor..op own wife lost the plot bigtime... lady the stepturd wouldn't do crap if the therapist hadn't shared private info about him.. giving op kids mom/stepturd 4.5 out 5 a hole for not letting the kid feel safe .. also giving the therapist 5 out of 5 a hole for violation DR patient confidentiality.. also giving op wife 2.5 out of 5 a hole for not getting the point..
The last story really hit home with me, as I have a therapist and often talk about my parents in my sessions in what could be seen as 'bad mouthing'. A therapist has to abide by client confidentiality, that therapist absolutely needed to be reported and loose their license.
Story 2: Give his mom the wedding dress, and tell him to have a happy wedding day. Your dad sounds like a spinless worm, and you should put the wedding on hold until your husband can understand you are not a doll for his mother to dress up.
Story 2: Always, even after a gown has been purchased, give the bridal parlor a password that has to be stated should an unruly family member attempt to return it. No password? No returning the dress. Plus, what the MIL did is theft since the bride is the one who purchased the dress.
Story 2: I'm brand new at a bridal dress shop, like BRAND new, and I can't imagine we'd let the groom make changes to a bride's transaction. It's in horrible faith at best, and illegal at worst.
The minute he says he forgot his credit card. I’m just gonna be like we’re gonna take you to the doctor and get you tested to see if you have dementia because no one should be forgetting their credit card every single time.
Story 1, twin sister should be happy she aint being sued, OP should take measures to protect her identity to prevent further shit like her taking out loans in her name etc. Story 5, This is how u get fired and sued as a therapist, hope OP/son go through with both.
Story 2: The fact OP'S fiancee constantly didn't side with OP and being a momma's boy is a massive red flag. And the fact he showed no remorse for what he did is disgusting too. Dump this guy ASAP. NTA.
Story 1: Initially, I was like “What the fuck? Why would OP ever expose her sister’s OnlyFans?” But thirty seconds in, it was like “Oop. Never mind. Burn her.” Story 2: I think OP should return her fiancé and get another one. Story 3: See above.
Literally the Therapist broke the golden rule for privacy. On top of the fact that he told the one person that abused his client and IS the reason why he is getting therapy in the first place.
Second story: good grief. OP has only one positive move in this case - as much as it may hurt, a breakup. OP's fiancee is a spineless mommy's boy. This will backfire severely in the future.
Whenever I hear stories about a groom/fiancé defending their mothers in such extern ways I always think the bride should yell, "then marry your mom!" before leaving
If story 1 was JUST about starting an onlyfans and using it in that manner, then I would have had a problem with it. Because she's 18, she's allowed to make adult decisions. But when she literally used OP's identity, that's where it crosses the line. OP "betrayed her trust"? What about betraying OP's trust? This could have LITERALLY ruined OP's reputation if someone did a namesearch on google when she goes to look for a job. But obviously she didn't care about that. Only about her selfish ass self. (Edit for clarity on how this could ruin OP's reputation)
Yeah, imagine if the parents or an SO found the only fans and thought it was OP. That would have gone over terribly. The SO would think they had ground to break up with OP and the parents would think OP was cheating on her SO.
It was basically an episode of Friends. Ursula was doing porn films and using Phoebe’s name to do so. Too bad OP couldn’t just go to a studio and say they were sending money to the wrong address like Phoebe did.
When I heard the title of the last story I was floored. I’m a psychology student getting my master’s this year and the literal _first_ thing they teach you about being a therapist is patient/therapist confidentiality, and that even _in_ the case of harming themselves or others it’s extremely delicate to say anything to anyone. The only time where this isn’t the case is when a child is being harmed or in a harmful situation, but you don’t tell the PARENTS, you keep the child in a safe place and you call the POLICE and child protective services so they can conduct an investigation. What is wrong with that therapist. He’s lucky he was just reported and OP isn’t trying to SUE him.
I've been in therapy on and off since I was like 6. If I ever found out that my therapist told my parents about what I told them in confidence, I would never trust another therapist ever again. I hope that therapist is happy, because he not only ruined his own career but he also traumatized a child 100x worse than grief could.
Therapist story: OP, what that therapist did is illegal - especially since you're the one that signed your son up for the sessions and are paying for them. I'm not even sure if the therapist is permitted to discuss the sessions with you. You need to: 1) Follow through to the end with the complaint filed against the therapist. 2) If you paid for the bicycle; bill the stop-dad for what it would cost to replace it - new. 3) Bill the step-dad for each session in which he was provided details by the therapist. 4) Sue the step-dad for obviously colluding with the therapist to obtain information he was NOT entitled to. 5) Sue the Mom if she played an active role in any of this. 6) Report ALL this to the Divorce court as it is a clear violation of your son's rights.
The worst part about the last story is that is likely the kid's first time in therapy, and after his first time of confessing something intimate to his therapist, he gets punished for it. I imagine that's probably going to make him apprehensive about trying therapy in the future.
@@kervinsantos5808 I’m pretty sure that ALONE should disqualify the therapist; the therapist should not be involved AT ALL with client outside of the therapy office.
Therapist story; THIS IS EXTREMELY ILLEGAL, unless the individual in therapy themselves give EXPLICIT consent this is an IMMEDIATE revocation of your license as a therapist. It is a HUGE no-no within the psychology field. Period.
Story 4: He didn't forget anything, there's only so many times you can say you forgot your money before someone catches on that you're not. I say dump this cheapskate.
Yeah, if a coworker were to ever google her name and see that only fan account. That would have serious repercussions for her then and in the future as no one wants to be associated with that sort of person, and those that do aren't the one's you want to be with. Had it been and entirely different name no one would know if it was her or her sister there would be a stigma but no one could act on it.
That last story made me absolutely livid! I've been in therapy a lot and in the UK (I don't know what it's like in other countries) when talking to a professional therapist you sign an agreement basically saying you understand that your therapist would only ever break confidentiality if they were concerned someone or yourself was being hurt and needed external intervention (like the police) and that they would alert you that they would be doing this. What this therapist did to op's son is such a gross violation of his privacy it enrages me, that sorry excuse for a therapist shouldn't be able to keep his job after that.
Story 2: Op has seen what her husband is like and what a spiteful person her mother in law is I think it’s a sign that Op should reconsider having a family with this guy when he chooses his mother over his actual wife.
Story 1: She used her sister as a doppelganger to keep the creeps and problems she caused away Story 6: Both step dad and therapist are at fault here and that kid needs to get away from that horrible step dad as it's making the kid mental health likely worse the dad by his actions sounds abusive imagine what more that horrible man had done to the poor kid?
"My boyfriend keeps forgetting his credit card" story. You know what would really cheese It off, is if she ended up bringing the credit card along. See how he acts after that happens, whether he thanks OP or berates her.
The last story hits hard for me. I once went to a therapist and he told everything to my mom. I couldn't trust him with anything big nor how small. It did not help with anything and to this day I cannot trust therapists.
Second story: yeah the finance is a definitely a momma's boy. Sounds like he doesn't mind his mom being super controlling and probably has her make most of his decisions
3:30 It sounds like mommy wants to be the bride 👀 also, OP's dad wanting OP to "drop it and go with the flow", daddy needs to grow a backbone and back his daughter up.
It must be awful to have a twin sister that is a sociopath. If OP in story 2 marries that man, her happiness will be destroyed...day after day, year after year. Same with the girlfriend stuck w dinner bills.
That therapist could lose his license for doing something like that. Once you know your therapist is telling others it's no longer a safe space. You're saving all his other patients (read victim) from being scarred permeantly and never being able to trust again.
I'd make sure that the therapist lost their license forever, especially after my son suffered from the therapist's neglicence. And if I and my ex were the ones that got the bike for our kid I'd make damn sure the stepdad got it back or paid for it in full.
Every time I hear a story about a bride's wedding dress being returned it raises the question of just how that has happened. I mean honestly, if the OP of such a story bought it, then how did the receipt be obtained to be returned. To me for such an item to be returned there has to be more to it, specially if a dress is paid by card/cheque and not cash, then the card would need to be presented to refund back to, and if cheque that would be made in OPs name, not in the name of the person returning the dress. Doing so would constitute theft of not just the dress, but the funds.
You're 100% right it's theft. But when someone shows up with a receipt a few days after a purchase and asks for an exchange because "my fiancee changed her mind" most retail workers aren't going to question it. Retail doesn't get paid enough to care as long as large amounts of money aren't involved and the item/receipt are legit. And with a recent purchase of a critical item, the receipt can usually be found on the dress' care bag so it's easy to steal. These people just don't think through that they could be charged for theft because "it's family" 🤦♀️
As someone who had a similar experience with a therapist, it really makes you mistrust therapy in general, which isn’t a good thing. It can deter someone from getting proper help when they need it.
For the second story. Have your mom "have a vision" of him in a chicken suit But in all seriousness, your MIL does not see you as a person, she sees you as an object her son owns that they can treat as they want This won't change, your husband will disrespect you for your whole marriage. Go now if you don't want that Edit: grammar
Uh, she said that onlyfans was her source of income? Like bruh, noone is stopping you from getting an onlyfans for income, but not in the expense of your own twin sister's future/life! What an absolute AH.
@@dracko158 I have debated on starting an only fans tbh. I'm a bisexual man who will absolutely be dominated by men and women for the amount of money they offer. A couple hundred thousand a year, the only thing is she didn't even cover her face lol. She was blatantly trying to ruin her sister's life lol
Second Story: Break up with your fiance, CANCEL THAT WEDDING. Those are red flags that show you how your marriage with him would be. My mom would never do that but if she did I would tell her off fast. Also you and your mom need to check your dad. As he believes the groom has more say in the wedding than the bride when it is a partnership.
The last story is kind of funny to me. Just because that's kind of what my old therapist did. Therapy was suggested when my mom died (I was 7). Though, my guardian (grandma) waited until a doctor insisted that I need therapy (11-12). The therapist my grandma chose was a family friend. After every single visit, she would talk with my grandma after about everything we talked about, which made me close up more after my grandma screamed at me for not telling her stuff (once we got in the car as my grandma would never do shit in front of others). I even lied to the therapist, saying I was fine just so I could stop being screamed at by my grandma every single time we left. My grandma still tries to push me toward seeing the family friend therapist, but I want a new one (hopefully one that doesn't tell my grandma everything?). But I'm only 17, and I can't drive yet (my grandma refuses to take me to the test but gets mad at the fact I don't have a license yet).
If you have friends, try to start setting up a plan to live with them when you're 18. Go low to no contact with grandma. And if you have a bus system in your area, start trying to learn it.
That last story, if the therapist was worried about the son's wellbeing then their next call should have been to CPS or the police for a welfare check, not the stepfather who the son was literally complaining about.
@@thetruth1816 That explains so much, as well as why the mother would react so strongly. It can't be avoided sometimes, but that is a bit of a conflict of interest and the therapist has just proven that his loyalties are with the stepfather. Also, the stepfather SELLING the bike as a punishment for badmouthing... that is incredibly toxic. Also, now that poor child knows they cannot trust anyone. Congratulations, "therapist".
@@WaterCrane yeah "you're controlling for not letting my husband punish our son " that mother needs to have her name on the internet and shamed by everyone ..
*First OP:* Um ... WHAT!? OP's sister's mad at OP for betraying her trust? OP wouldn't have snitched if her sister hadn't used OP's nickname! OP is NTA. *Second OP:* Going by the title, OP is NTA. "I always pictured my son's bride in that dress." Yeesh. OP's future (?) MIL didn't even see OP as her own person; MIL only saw OP as her son's bride. Also, if OP's (ex) fiancé cares so much about his mom's vision for the wedding, he can go marry his mom instead. Additionally, OP's dad is being an AH for telling the OP to "go with the flow." It's OP's wedding! Not her MIL's wedding! *Third OP:* As OP typed out her post, was there any point where she thought, "Why am I engaged to this dude?" Maybe it's the pessimist in me, but I feel OP's fiancé wanted OP to isolate herself from her father as a control tactic. OP is NTA. I sincerely hope she leaves her finacé. *Fourth OP:* Why are people on AITA forgetting their credit cards? This is probably the second or third story I've read/heard about someone "accidently" leaving their credit card at home. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* The therapist broke the Code of Conduct by sharing details about his client with an outside source, so OP did the right thing by reporting that therapist. OP is NTA, and he should handle his son's stepdad next.
The returning of the wedding dress is a major red flag, over both the Fiance, who is a controller or is controlled by his Mom and the Monster-in-Law/Just No Mother-in-Law herself. I think that this is a get counseling to see if it helps, which it likely will not, or just skip to just walk away from the relationship now.
Yeah miss “vision” just needs to marry her son apparently since clearly they already have planned their wedding together and just find a surrogate since they already apparently are together lmao (yes this is sarcasm)
For the 2 brides to be: run, ladies, RUN! The girlfriend with the moocher boyfriend who can't feed his kids needs to kick his sorry ass to the curb. Do not let this man have even one more minute of your precious energy. As for the so called therapist, where in the world did this guy get his training? Diplomas R Us? OP needs to get his State's Board involved. He sounds like the "therapist" is, and will be a menace to society and needs his license (if he even has one!) revoked.
That first story just made me think of the episode of Friends where Phoebe’s sister was a P⭐️ and everyone kept mistaking her for her sister in public.
As a mom who has kids in therapy, I don’t even feel I need to know details of what is said. My kids need to feel they have a safe space to talk about issues they have without fear of punishment or parental judgement.
Hey Dabney. Thank you so much for all the content you make, I've been watching your channel for years now. I just got out of surgery for thyroid cancer, and I've been looking forward to your video today!
Last story: I had to go to therapy when I was a kid, they only have permission to share with the parents if the kid said something that is genuinely concerning, like talking about hurting themselves or others
I can relatie to the 1st story. I found a profile on a free kinkwebsite when my identical twin sister and I where 18. I was told about the profile because apparently the entire village knew accept me. I felt so gross. Where identical twins so so many people saw my body because of my sisters actions. There were even pictures of when we were 17 on there. I tried to blackmail her to delete the account or else I would tell mom, but my sister told my mom that I was blackmailing her and I got punished for that. And my mom wouldn’t listen to my story and that she’s ruining my future as a math teacher because of her actions. If a student would find out I lose my career even though it’s not me. We’re 23 now and the account is still up. I wish I had the parents of the first story.
Sounds like your mom knew and had her hand in your sisters kinky money jar. If the whole village knew, your mom definitely knew. I mean, even in the unlikely scenario where she didn't know, she must at least know what you are supposedly 'blackmailing' your sister about to punish you yea? And if she punished you without even knowing what you are supposedly 'blackmailing' your sister about, then she definitely knew and just didn't care. Else, your story wouldn't make sense because you could always just show your mom the supposed account, or some printed pictures if you don't even have access to a personal device, her refusal to believe you means nothing in the face of kinky pictures after all...
@@komandorbentus2731 Something like that would likely be a very long and expensive legal battle, and possibly result in the account getting more exposure to the people in Emma's life through eyes on the case. Because while the account could cause trouble through mistaken identity, as long as the twin doesn't try to take her identity like in the first story, the twin would argue that she has the right to sell herself online and shouldn't have her rights restricted because of genetics. And unless damage actually happens, the prosecution would be arguing from theoreticals. It's probably better to just stay quiet and hope the account doesn't get discovered, and gather evidence and paperwork in preparation to defend her job and/or file a suit if it does.
That is one thing I learned from all the cartoons growing up.....never go to the bad guy first to try to reason with them, they will act first and thwart the plans you clued them in on. Your best bet at this point is to hire legal help.....someone who can legally delve into thing and find ways to prove when and where things are being uploaded from, so that if things do come out, you already have the proof that it isn't you. Also possible that lawyer could maybe make it so that if she doesn't make it obvious it isn't you, that you get the income from it. Either way you need legal help.
Yeah let’s punish a child for opening up to a therapist, that won’t have bad repercussions later in life. NTA op you should start gathering evidence to try and take full custody
I agree with the therapist responding to OP, the kid's therapist broke every rule/guideline in telling step dad all about the therapy sessions. SO WHAT if the kid badmouthed step dad to the therapist? I'd be surprised if he didn't!! (I mean what child doesn't have a beef with a parent or especially the step parent while growing up be it daily or from time to time)?
1st story I thought it was going to be a repeat story from before where the twin actually used neither's identifying... well identity, where I at least feel like she is allowed to do so, it probably is just weird for the twin sister because they look alike. This however, is different and I agree with you, it's totally trying to give her sister a bad reputation on purpose rather than trying to stay anonymous
First story - I was ready to say that OP was the AH until we got to the part where her sister was using a name OP went by. Given that they're twins, that is not ok. OP is NTA.
Story 1 - there were very few instances where I would have said NTA based on the title (such as if OP and twin were minors), and impersonating someone onto make adult entertainment is a clear NTA
In my CNA courses, they hammered in how crucially important it is to keep medical information private. It was a part, either large or small, of each session. I can only imagine that higher level courses, like the ones the therapist had to take, doubled down on that theme.
Dad walking Daughter Down the Aisle story: 🛑❌🛑 OP, you need to END the relationship with your fiance. He has NO right or say in regards to your Dad walking you down the aisle. Do not give in to him. He's already shown his true character and will only get worse as your husband.
Story 1: Okay you can't control what someone does with their body just because they look like you. Yes it's unpleasant, but that's life.....Buuuuuut sister lost me when she's actively using OPs known nickname as her username. NTA, I'd have sued Story 2: Nope, time to call it quits. He can go find some way to marry his mother. "But Empress you always jump to divorce" I hear you say. No one wants to marry a guy who actively controls your choices because his 'mommy had a vision'. NTA, stop putting up with this. Story 3: What the hell did I just read?! Is that guy insane? Daddy being a grieving widow with no money who isn't selling his stuff to buy the son-in-laws approval somehow makes him 'unworthy', well screw off, that's not for him to decide. NTA for now, but you will be if TA if you do not drop this circus Story 4: He forgot it on purpose, NTA Story 5: This is why I don't trust therapists. I hate when they turn double agents for someone they know or want to gossip with friends. REPORT THEM! GET THEIR ASS FIRED!
1: Idenity theft is a serious problem... but this was litterly the sister trying to harm her twin's image AND make a buck out of it. It was win-win for the twin. Not for OP. 2: Divorce is a perfect answer.. come on... it's OP's money and the Mom decides shit? ...Get off. The dress is 100% the bride's decission in the end. THAT IS TRADITION. 3: I was about to defend the son in law when the dad clearly is unable to cope with his grief , but his methode was off... but when I heard "Your dad can't walk you since he won't pay.." FUCK OFF. The dad wasn't even mooching off the daughter...he was struggling and couldn't pay, but clearly wanted to be part of his daughter's life. The dad clearly has some deep underlying issues unable to deal with grief...and might have a hoarding problem, but otherwise 100% innocent. The son in law's motive was clear when he just wanted money from his father in law and not help him get over his grief and hoarding. 4: 100% on purpose...I forgot things alot too, but I always pay my debts off for my friends. Mostly via an app right away. So in this decade and "not being able to pay" is either on purpose or an unreliable guy you shouldn't be dating. If a guy keeps forgetting money or a way to pay... how can you be sure that when you live with him he can't get any groceries ever since he keeps "forgetting?" or if you have kids he "Forgets" to feed his kids cause he left money in a different pair of pants. Aka... if you go on he isn't doing on purpose... he's a dumbass you shouldn't live your life with. 5: Holy shit, I have trouble with therapists and prefer being a therapist for myself and friends since i want to help... trust me i have issues of my own I deal with... but I atleast still function mostly. I don't do therapy anymore since it's alot of time wasting....so yea...
Last story: Therapist and step-father both should get 5/5 BH on the scale, just due to step-father punishing the boy for what the therapist told the step-father. The therapist gets it for telling things in confidence to someone who wasn't the boy's parent.
New rule: if you have to post in AITA about your fiance, the wedding really should be postponed at the minimum.
The thing is the wedding is already planned thus they go searching for dresses and meeting the family and what not. Weddings are usually placed in advance
@@KarmaTube5 yes obviously. I said that the wedding should be postponed if you have to pay in AITA BECAUSE it's already a set date. You wouldn't have to postpone anything if a date wasn't set
@@KarmaTube5 that is exactly the point. If they have allready a date, it has to be postponed, since there is a biiig issue if they have to post in AITA
@@KarmaTube5 Yes, but if the fiance is more in love with his mother than his bride to be, all those plans need to go up in smoke. Fast. Breaking off an engagement is heart breaking, but divorce five or ten years later is worse.
I second this rule. I can't count how many of these I hear where some version of "Please don't marry this man." comes out of my mouth.
The therapist deserves 5/5 seeing as how his "sympathy" could result in continuing child abuse and make a bad situation infinitely worse
Even worse that the Therapis is the Step Dad friend
@@kervinsantos5808 He should have refused to take the kid as a patient then, definitely.
@@sourisvoleur4854 it kinda gives me small town vibes that this happened, the step dad was stupid enough to show evidence of it AND THE THERAPIST ADMITS TO IT! And it seems Rslash is really going lenient with some of his ratings because this should've easily been 4/5.
@@Forold His ratings are always pretty lenient. I don't think I've ever heard him give a 5/5. I think you'd legit have to kill someone to get that score.
@@RookMeAmadeus Wanna find out? let's meet in the woods back behind your place later, I have this cool thing to show you.
Story 1: she used you as a cover for her only fans so if someone found it you get all the shame, danger, and reputation, but you're the one who betrayed her trust? No, she didn't want to face any shame or creepy guy so she tried to use you as a human shield.
Right? Imagine someone else finding it first and bringing it to her parents and her parents laying it into her and the twin denying it was hers. I bet you she would have done that
@@SherriLyle80s right! The op was getting all the embarrassment, shame, negative attention and none of the profit.
Exactly this. She straight up used her sister like a disposable tool. I'd recommend a lawyer to put the fear of god into her. She already demonstrated she has no sense of morality on this subject - only frustration that she was caught and stopped.
I was all ready to say yes, she was, until i found out she was using OP's name! omg! if she'd been using her own name, that would have been none of OP's business. but since she was trying to make the OP the target of any creepy behavior....wow. what a horrible human being that sister is!
Wasn't this an episode of "Friends?"
I'm sick and tired of hearing about doctors, nurses, therapists, etc, betraying their patients. And when the wronged party seeks justice, people tell them "you shouldn't destroy their careers, you're so mean"
Damn
Wish I could like this post 1000 times
I agree
Yeah and they're other comments that I agree with the therapist could have been scratching the surface for abuse and now won't trust the therapist. People like that don't deserve to keep their career.
If you literally can’t be trusted with vulnerable people and their information, you shouldn’t be allowed to go near them, let alone have a career that specializes in just that.
I think HIPPA waa instated for a good reason.
Screw giving the dress a chance: THIS MAN doesn't deserve a chance.
If mama's boy is going to be this controlling before OP marries him, imagine afterwards. Get out of there, OP.
Popopooooooooooohhhhh
Give hhim a clowns dress for the wedding and ask him to "give it chance" because "it goes with MY MOTHERS image of the wedding" so we are even!
insist that the groom wear a pink and chartreuse tux. comprise is good
@@abramsloan Better than my idea!
Start with the clown, end with a pink tux.....
Compromise found....
Dear OP, welcome to the rest of your life if you marry this weak ass doofus who can't say no to his mom.
Story 2: this is a hill to die on. If she can’t pick out her own dress, think about what the marriage is going to be.
Yeah, sounds like absolute hell
Yeah, that is not going to be a good marriage.
Can't choose her own dress, can't pick the name of her own kids...etc....RED FLAG!!!
If I had a nickel for every reddit wedding story where it was clear that the mother wanted to be the one marrying the groom instead of the bride, I'd have more than two and let's all agree it's weird how often this subtext comes up.
Agreed. That’s just weirdly common and it disturbs me…
It's gross. I can't understand it.🤮
Some people just never solved their Oedipus complex...
Covert incest. It is oddly... common... between mothers and their sons.
And also the amount of times I see boyfriends/husbands are being absolute buttholes and THEY have the audacity to give the OPs the silent treatment.
Story 2: Aw, OP's fiancé's mom will look so pretty in her dress while marrying her son. Lot's of happiness to the "couple".
😂
The therapist only getting a 3/5? No man. I'm sorry. This therapist deserves a 10/5. If she's breaching doctor/patient confidentiality with the OP's kid, they're most likely breaking it with other clients. They need their license suspended pending investigation.
Exactly I have an educator because I am autistic and it’s for me to fit in society and she needs my permission to share info about me to my parents because of the laws
I had a therapist talk to my parents behind my back, it destroyed me. I couldn't trust anyone for years, it effected my relationships. That therapist is 200% a butthole
Yeah me to I’m a autstic and have serious anxiety my therapist would never tell my parents anything of what I tell her
Can the mom give the step dad access to the information? The kids a minor so I'm curious if they'll try and back date this decision to make it ok?
Edit: I'm aware that therapy sessions are private and even parent's aren't allowed to know unless the patient is a danger to themselves or others. Please stop replying to this comment, I've had this explained 5 times already.
@@H-to-O I was more so asking as I'm not sure how access to someone's medical records work. Since I'm not a minor I have full access and control on who can access them. But for a minor I know at least one parent has to know and I imagine they can give access if needed but I'm not sure if the mother can give access to the step dad. If she can they could try and pull some shady crap, something the therapist is already use to.
That last story just brought stuff flooding back.
When I was 10 or 11 my mother put me in therapy because I “wasn’t talking to her as much” (duh! I was a preteen! Plus I was starting to realize she was abusive).
The therapist she picked was creepy in so many ways, but one of the things he would do is talk to mom for 10-15 minutes after each session. Then I’d get in trouble for things I said in therapy. So obviously he was just telling her everything I told him. I eventually stopped talking in sessions at all and mom canceled therapy because she felt it was a waste of money if I wasn’t going to talk.
I remember the betrayal and the feeling that I couldn’t ever get away from her. That no where was safe, not even my own head, and it made me feel crazy. I remember getting punished just for having emotions and verbalizing them in therapy.
It took _ages_ before I could fully trust a therapist again because I thought this was normal.
My child has been in therapy and it was a wake-up call to how I was treated.
The therapist would call me back to talk to him for 5 minutes or so, but it was only once in a while, and the therapist _only_ ever asked me how my kid was doing at home and if I’ve noticed anything different.
He never once told me what my kid said in sessions at all.
And I always told my kid what we talked about because I didn’t want him to think we were talking negatively about him or that the therapist was telling me what they talked about.
That’s how it should be.
That's how my therapists were and I had a great Mom like you are. But man I've heard stories and it is awful 😞.
My mom is the same way. She complains why I don't talk to her much but is oblivious to the physically and verbal abuse she has put me through as a child. She impatient, dramatic, intolerant, and loves to complain/talk a lot. I've been considering going to therapy once I move out.
@@JayJaytheweird a good therapist can help anyone.
Story 1: issue could have literally been avoided by using a different username. Sister just wanted to be able to say it wasn’t her. What a deceitful thing to do 🤮
It really seem like her OnlyFans account is really a weapon to take down OP's life and reputation. The bit at the beginning where OP's sister is always competing with her for everything is a strong clue for this and it sounds like OP's sister is one of those "I want what my sister has" type of siblings as we've seen in this well known story rSlash read from r/relationships, except with that one, the sister was spoiled and was treated as the real true child of the family while the younger sibling is not their child, but rather their slave and ATM for the true child.
That last story hit home hard. I stopped participating in therapy after my therapist as a kid told my narcissistic mother everything I said. OP did the right thing.
I grew up in a small town and my parents knew everyone, something happened and was asked if I wanted therapy. I said no because I didn't want my parents to know what I was thinking. Even if the therapist wasn't planning on tell them something might slip out the next time they talked.
The last story was crystal clear. Any therapist who breaks confidentiality of a patient, especially a teen, needs to be disciplined. My kid was in therapy for several years. I NEVER asked the therapist to break confidentiality. That trust is just too precious to destroy.
The dude did the world a favor ngl
While I agree that a therapist shouldn't break confidentiality if it's not absolutely necessary, the fact is that legally, therapists working with minors are obligated to keep the parents in the loop about the minor's treatment and progress. Moreover, legally, the therapist is obligated to break confidentiality, if a parent / legal guardian demands it - which is what I suspect happened in this case.
The supposed "therapist commenter" who responded to the story, probably isn't a licensed therapist as he claims. If he was, he'd know that therapists are legally obligated to provide full disclosure to parents of minors in therapy.
I'm also incredibly angry at that therapist... it's not only the break of confidentiality but that entitled attitude that his patient was "badmouthing" the stepdad... where did he even get his qualification as a therapist from? How could he not even consider that the bad stuff the patient was talking about was VALID? Family problems are after all the number 1 reason why people need therapy in the first place... omg the score is way too low for that guy
the-rapist is a very bad person...
We do have to break confidentiality in some aspects: if a patient is thinking about harming themselves or others, if they know about or talk about potential child abuse or potential elder abuse. Those are things the therapist is protected if they break confidentiality for. All other reasons to break confidentiality are not allowed as a therapist.
I used to be an event coordinator at a space that did primarily weddings. I was blown away by how difficult the mothers of the GROOMS were! The brides were mostly delightful, their parents were also usually pleasant (they were also usually footing the bill, so I understood their tension when I encountered it). The grooms were either really wonderful or really awful, but their mothers were almost always condescending, controlling Karens
Story 3: That's not something your husband gets to decide whether he likes him or not. Especially since your dad didn't do anything to actually hurt this guy, they just don't have the same opinion on things.
" I can't walk all over you're dad op I don't want him at our weeding "..
Honestly the fiancé’s entire relationship with OP’s dad is terrible. He’s super disrespectful about pretty much everything and downright cruel about the dad’s struggles losing his wife. Big red flag in my book.
Yeah. There’s a lot about that guy which is screaming “run!”
@@katherinezimmerman6997 It seems like he's trying to isolate her from the only family she has. Every issue she cited was her fiance trying to exert control. He wanted to control the father's possessions (truck), his speech (talking about struggles), and his finances (wedding contribution). When he couldn't, he decided to destroy her relationship with her dad. I really hope she saw the signs of abuse and gtfo'd.
Story 3: seems like OP's (hopefully ex) fiancee wants to alienate the father to keep closer tabs on OP and is using petty grievances to justify it. Super controlling.
The last story…
The step dad was SO concerned for his stepson that he immediately used that info against him and punished him for “bad mouthing him” to the therapist. 😡
Story 2: I think the MIL's comment was very telling. She's not looking at OP as her own person with her own tastes and opinions, she's looking at OP as "my son's bride" that you can just plug into the "vision" she has for the wedding.
Last story:
Doctor/patient confidentiality is crucial and the fact that the kids mom/stepdad would ask the therapist to break that trust AND have the nerve to call OP "controlling" is actually insane.
OP did the kid a huge favour as well as any of the therapists future clients by reporting him 100%NTA
On the bright side this can also be a means of getting the son back under op's roof and away from the step dad. If the dad's punishing the son for just saying stuff I don't want to know what he'd do if the kid did something.
Yeah, definitely needs to get the kid a new therapist, have a long talk with his kid that what the therapist and step dad did is unacceptable/kid did nothing wrong, and I would go to a judge and ask for full custody until a new therapist has been found and worked with the kid long enough that the therapist agrees is okay to share custody with the mom again.
One of the most important aspects of therapy work is that you won't get punished for what you say or think. The fact that the therapist told the Step dad, enabling SD to punish the boy, completely defeats that purpose. Honestly, the mother needs to be re-examined in how fit she is to raise OP's son. The fact she let what SD do what he did, then sided against OP when OP reported malpractice gives a thousand pictures as to what kind of parent she is.
That last story worries me so much.That therapist could have just begun to scratch the surface of some abuse by that step-dad (a big red flag is that response of selling the kid's property as punishment). The idea that this kid has now been shown that he can't trust a therapist, someone you should be safe with, is also so damaging.
It makes me wonder which set of parents had the dog that passed. I've heard of cases where pets have been used to manipulate and abuse kids, and OP's kid's reaction to his pet passing makes me worry about that. The fact that step-dad didn't shut this down, that his reaction is to sell a bike due to being "badmouthed," and that the kid's mom doesn't seem to see anything wrong with any of this... I sure hope OP does a lot more digging.
I’m working on becoming an art therapist (going to start my master’s program this year), and man, the therapist screwed up. Beginning in my few counseling class in my undergraduate years, they rammed the importance of ethics and privacy for patients, and I’m sure they had this very idea in mind. The therapist literally shared private information to an abusive relative. I’m disappointed and infuriated that this is the influence this child now has about the idea of therapy, and I worry about the kid in the future. I hope the therapist loses his license.
This! So much this! I am getting a very bad feeling that the son's "badmouthing" of the step-dad was not just simply "he makes me do housework," and more about something much, much more serious that is being swept under the rug! I really hope that kid is okay.
These were my exact thoughts as well. The step dads behavior is SUPER concerning and that therapist should have never aired the kid's feelings like that.
He should be jailed and heavily sued by it.
Credit card story: not only is it emotional abuse it's also financial abuse, you can sue for that.
My best friend is a therapist. If I found out he was doing anything like the therapist in the last story was doing, I'd report him and never talk to him again.
The only time therapists are allowed to share information from confidential sessions is as stated, when they believe their client is in danger of hurting themselves or others. And even then they're only allowed to pass the information on to the police or relevant authorities! That therapist deserves to lose their job. At least.
Second story: I get the feeling that OP's mother-in-law missed out on having her dream wedding for some reasons and now tries to see that dream wedding happen through OP. That's super toxic behaviour.
Or rather, she wants her dream wedding to be about her and then pass her dream wedding to her kids and my guess is also her grandchildren too, her entire life and every single major events she's part of to be about her. Like what we've seen before on this channel.
Story 1 : " am I the a hole for protecting myself " is what the first the first story should be named. NTA.. got to give op friend some good looking out points as the friend is more family to op then op sister..
Story 2 : NTA.. time to return momma boy to his mommy.
Story 3 : NTA.. time to walk a different Isle op..
Story 4 : NTA.. time to walkout on this 1 sided "relationship "..
Story 5 : " am I the a hole for reporting a therapist who broke all kinds of medical laws" .. NTA op ..you did the world a favor..op own wife lost the plot bigtime... lady the stepturd wouldn't do crap if the therapist hadn't shared private info about him.. giving op kids mom/stepturd 4.5 out 5 a hole for not letting the kid feel safe .. also giving the therapist 5 out of 5 a hole for violation DR patient confidentiality.. also giving op wife 2.5 out of 5 a hole for not getting the point..
EXACTLY 😭😭
You said everything I wanted to say
Stepturd, very good word, I will keep this in mind
@@ThegreatestVN 👌👌
Don't you need a signed contract for using other people in nsfw stuff?
Or is that just Patreon
The last story really hit home with me, as I have a therapist and often talk about my parents in my sessions in what could be seen as 'bad mouthing'.
A therapist has to abide by client confidentiality, that therapist absolutely needed to be reported and loose their license.
Story 2: Give his mom the wedding dress, and tell him to have a happy wedding day. Your dad sounds like a spinless worm, and you should put the wedding on hold until your husband can understand you are not a doll for his mother to dress up.
You're 1000% right.. op dad sounds like a worm.
Yes, he can marry mommy dearest since she comes first.
If OP does that and the father Said. " you should have gone with the flow
I would have reply, " I am not spineless"
Absolutely agree with you
OP’s father is so spineless he might as well be an invertebrate.
Story 2: she’s got an opportunity to get out of this relationship before she’s legally bound to it. I’d run.
I really hope she didn’t marry him
Story 2: Always, even after a gown has been purchased, give the bridal parlor a password that has to be stated should an unruly family member attempt to return it. No password? No returning the dress. Plus, what the MIL did is theft since the bride is the one who purchased the dress.
Story 2: I'm brand new at a bridal dress shop, like BRAND new, and I can't imagine we'd let the groom make changes to a bride's transaction. It's in horrible faith at best, and illegal at worst.
The minute he says he forgot his credit card. I’m just gonna be like we’re gonna take you to the doctor and get you tested to see if you have dementia because no one should be forgetting their credit card every single time.
Imagine his reaction! That would be hilarious. What if it turned out he did have some brain problem? (Besides being an asshole) That would be wild
Story 1, twin sister should be happy she aint being sued, OP should take measures to protect her identity to prevent further shit like her taking out loans in her name etc.
Story 5, This is how u get fired and sued as a therapist, hope OP/son go through with both.
Story 2: The fact OP'S fiancee constantly didn't side with OP and being a momma's boy is a massive red flag. And the fact he showed no remorse for what he did is disgusting too. Dump this guy ASAP. NTA.
Story 1: Initially, I was like “What the fuck? Why would OP ever expose her sister’s OnlyFans?” But thirty seconds in, it was like “Oop. Never mind. Burn her.”
Story 2: I think OP should return her fiancé and get another one.
Story 3: See above.
She should sue that Therapist for what he did. That therapist should not be allowed to be a therapist ever again.
Literally the Therapist broke the golden rule for privacy. On top of the fact that he told the one person that abused his client and IS the reason why he is getting therapy in the first place.
Second story: good grief.
OP has only one positive move in this case - as much as it may hurt, a breakup.
OP's fiancee is a spineless mommy's boy. This will backfire severely in the future.
Luckily she did in the update
Whenever I hear stories about a groom/fiancé defending their mothers in such extern ways I always think the bride should yell, "then marry your mom!" before leaving
If story 1 was JUST about starting an onlyfans and using it in that manner, then I would have had a problem with it. Because she's 18, she's allowed to make adult decisions. But when she literally used OP's identity, that's where it crosses the line. OP "betrayed her trust"? What about betraying OP's trust? This could have LITERALLY ruined OP's reputation if someone did a namesearch on google when she goes to look for a job. But obviously she didn't care about that. Only about her selfish ass self.
(Edit for clarity on how this could ruin OP's reputation)
Ya he was saying it could have..this is the internet..it can hurt her forever
Even then OP would have faced worse since no one would belive her. The twin would have shame her also
Yeah, imagine if the parents or an SO found the only fans and thought it was OP. That would have gone over terribly. The SO would think they had ground to break up with OP and the parents would think OP was cheating on her SO.
It was basically an episode of Friends. Ursula was doing porn films and using Phoebe’s name to do so. Too bad OP couldn’t just go to a studio and say they were sending money to the wrong address like Phoebe did.
Also imagine if OP had a BF and someone he knows saw "OPs" profile
When I heard the title of the last story I was floored. I’m a psychology student getting my master’s this year and the literal _first_ thing they teach you about being a therapist is patient/therapist confidentiality, and that even _in_ the case of harming themselves or others it’s extremely delicate to say anything to anyone. The only time where this isn’t the case is when a child is being harmed or in a harmful situation, but you don’t tell the PARENTS, you keep the child in a safe place and you call the POLICE and child protective services so they can conduct an investigation. What is wrong with that therapist. He’s lucky he was just reported and OP isn’t trying to SUE him.
I've been in therapy on and off since I was like 6. If I ever found out that my therapist told my parents about what I told them in confidence, I would never trust another therapist ever again. I hope that therapist is happy, because he not only ruined his own career but he also traumatized a child 100x worse than grief could.
Therapist story:
OP, what that therapist did is illegal - especially since you're the one that signed your son up for the sessions and are paying for them. I'm not even sure if the therapist is permitted to discuss the sessions with you. You need to:
1) Follow through to the end with the complaint filed against the therapist.
2) If you paid for the bicycle; bill the stop-dad for what it would cost to replace it - new.
3) Bill the step-dad for each session in which he was provided details by the therapist.
4) Sue the step-dad for obviously colluding with the therapist to obtain information he was NOT entitled to.
5) Sue the Mom if she played an active role in any of this.
6) Report ALL this to the Divorce court as it is a clear violation of your son's rights.
The worst part about the last story is that is likely the kid's first time in therapy, and after his first time of confessing something intimate to his therapist, he gets punished for it. I imagine that's probably going to make him apprehensive about trying therapy in the future.
What is worse is that The Therapist is a friend of the Step dad
@@kervinsantos5808 I’m pretty sure that ALONE should disqualify the therapist; the therapist should not be involved AT ALL with client outside of the therapy office.
@@Tustin2121 this was a set up from the get go
Therapist story; THIS IS EXTREMELY ILLEGAL, unless the individual in therapy themselves give EXPLICIT consent this is an IMMEDIATE revocation of your license as a therapist. It is a HUGE no-no within the psychology field. Period.
Story 4: He didn't forget anything, there's only so many times you can say you forgot your money before someone catches on that you're not. I say dump this cheapskate.
Weddings like these are never once in a lifetime.
if I was OP in the 1st story I would have taken her twin sister to court this can't be a misunderstanding but an action to crush OP's reputation
Wow, so many red flags in the wedding story. She needs to lose the guy and spare herself the drama of seeing his true colors once they are married.
I would double down, and also sue her for defamation of character on top of the identity theft
Yeah, if a coworker were to ever google her name and see that only fan account. That would have serious repercussions for her then and in the future as no one wants to be associated with that sort of person, and those that do aren't the one's you want to be with. Had it been and entirely different name no one would know if it was her or her sister there would be a stigma but no one could act on it.
The photos and videos would be in the public record. I don't think OP would want that.
I was thinking the same thing
That last story made me absolutely livid!
I've been in therapy a lot and in the UK (I don't know what it's like in other countries) when talking to a professional therapist you sign an agreement basically saying you understand that your therapist would only ever break confidentiality if they were concerned someone or yourself was being hurt and needed external intervention (like the police) and that they would alert you that they would be doing this. What this therapist did to op's son is such a gross violation of his privacy it enrages me, that sorry excuse for a therapist shouldn't be able to keep his job after that.
Bro literally stabbed his future wife in the back and robbed her. This is a red flag and with that mom I'd say both broke hell of a lot of trust.
Dude wasn't upset she left his kids hungry. He was upset his meal ticket expired.
Story 2: Op has seen what her husband is like and what a spiteful person her mother in law is I think it’s a sign that Op should reconsider having a family with this guy when he chooses his mother over his actual wife.
Story 1: She used her sister as a doppelganger to keep the creeps and problems she caused away
Story 6: Both step dad and therapist are at fault here and that kid needs to get away from that horrible step dad as it's making the kid mental health likely worse the dad by his actions sounds abusive imagine what more that horrible man had done to the poor kid?
"My boyfriend keeps forgetting his credit card" story. You know what would really cheese It off, is if she ended up bringing the credit card along. See how he acts after that happens, whether he thanks OP or berates her.
He would berate her for "making me look bad"..
@@thetruth1816 or accuse her of trying to steal it.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings ding ding ding..
I want to feel bad for her but I kinda don't
Fool her 1- 5 times shame on the Boyfriend
Fool her 6-36 times Shame on her
The last story hits hard for me. I once went to a therapist and he told everything to my mom. I couldn't trust him with anything big nor how small. It did not help with anything and to this day I cannot trust therapists.
Second story: yeah the finance is a definitely a momma's boy. Sounds like he doesn't mind his mom being super controlling and probably has her make most of his decisions
3:30 It sounds like mommy wants to be the bride 👀 also, OP's dad wanting OP to "drop it and go with the flow", daddy needs to grow a backbone and back his daughter up.
It must be awful to have a twin sister that is a sociopath. If OP in story 2 marries that man, her happiness will be destroyed...day after day, year after year. Same with the girlfriend stuck w dinner bills.
Like really..why did she wait that long?!
The sister in the first story wanted to make money from OF, but without damaging her reputation, and wanted to put OP's rep in the way instead.
That therapist could lose his license for doing something like that. Once you know your therapist is telling others it's no longer a safe space. You're saving all his other patients (read victim) from being scarred permeantly and never being able to trust again.
Not could but should
I'd make sure that the therapist lost their license forever, especially after my son suffered from the therapist's neglicence.
And if I and my ex were the ones that got the bike for our kid I'd make damn sure the stepdad got it back or paid for it in full.
Every time I hear a story about a bride's wedding dress being returned it raises the question of just how that has happened. I mean honestly, if the OP of such a story bought it, then how did the receipt be obtained to be returned. To me for such an item to be returned there has to be more to it, specially if a dress is paid by card/cheque and not cash, then the card would need to be presented to refund back to, and if cheque that would be made in OPs name, not in the name of the person returning the dress. Doing so would constitute theft of not just the dress, but the funds.
You're 100% right it's theft. But when someone shows up with a receipt a few days after a purchase and asks for an exchange because "my fiancee changed her mind" most retail workers aren't going to question it. Retail doesn't get paid enough to care as long as large amounts of money aren't involved and the item/receipt are legit. And with a recent purchase of a critical item, the receipt can usually be found on the dress' care bag so it's easy to steal. These people just don't think through that they could be charged for theft because "it's family" 🤦♀️
As someone who had a similar experience with a therapist, it really makes you mistrust therapy in general, which isn’t a good thing. It can deter someone from getting proper help when they need it.
For the second story. Have your mom "have a vision" of him in a chicken suit
But in all seriousness, your MIL does not see you as a person, she sees you as an object her son owns that they can treat as they want
This won't change, your husband will disrespect you for your whole marriage. Go now if you don't want that
Edit: grammar
For the dress story, RUN!!! That guy has already ruined that relationship by letting mommy have that much control.
So the twin tries to ruin her sister's life, and now she's upset
" you lost my trust when you didn't let me ruin you're life " like wtf.
"me pset becus me con't dstroi u reputaton 🙄☺😐😐😵😵😌😌😌😌🤫🤫🤗🤗😝😝🤪😎😎😎😎😧😧😧😧🙉😿😸😸😡🤬😈😈😈😈😣😣"
Uh, she said that onlyfans was her source of income? Like bruh, noone is stopping you from getting an onlyfans for income, but not in the expense of your own twin sister's future/life! What an absolute AH.
@@dracko158 I have debated on starting an only fans tbh. I'm a bisexual man who will absolutely be dominated by men and women for the amount of money they offer. A couple hundred thousand a year, the only thing is she didn't even cover her face lol. She was blatantly trying to ruin her sister's life lol
Oh dang I might watch that
If he's so determined to have that dress in his wedding, he can wear it.
Or rather, his mother can wear it and he can marry her.
Second Story: Break up with your fiance, CANCEL THAT WEDDING. Those are red flags that show you how your marriage with him would be. My mom would never do that but if she did I would tell her off fast. Also you and your mom need to check your dad. As he believes the groom has more say in the wedding than the bride when it is a partnership.
The last story is kind of funny to me. Just because that's kind of what my old therapist did. Therapy was suggested when my mom died (I was 7). Though, my guardian (grandma) waited until a doctor insisted that I need therapy (11-12). The therapist my grandma chose was a family friend. After every single visit, she would talk with my grandma after about everything we talked about, which made me close up more after my grandma screamed at me for not telling her stuff (once we got in the car as my grandma would never do shit in front of others). I even lied to the therapist, saying I was fine just so I could stop being screamed at by my grandma every single time we left. My grandma still tries to push me toward seeing the family friend therapist, but I want a new one (hopefully one that doesn't tell my grandma everything?). But I'm only 17, and I can't drive yet (my grandma refuses to take me to the test but gets mad at the fact I don't have a license yet).
If you have friends, try to start setting up a plan to live with them when you're 18. Go low to no contact with grandma. And if you have a bus system in your area, start trying to learn it.
That last story, if the therapist was worried about the son's wellbeing then their next call should have been to CPS or the police for a welfare check, not the stepfather who the son was literally complaining about.
Therapist is friends with stepturd that's why the Therapist is telling them everything..
@@thetruth1816 That explains so much, as well as why the mother would react so strongly. It can't be avoided sometimes, but that is a bit of a conflict of interest and the therapist has just proven that his loyalties are with the stepfather. Also, the stepfather SELLING the bike as a punishment for badmouthing... that is incredibly toxic. Also, now that poor child knows they cannot trust anyone. Congratulations, "therapist".
@@WaterCrane yeah "you're controlling for not letting my husband punish our son " that mother needs to have her name on the internet and shamed by everyone ..
the Therapist is a "friend"
@@David_Quinn1995 friend of the "mother" and the stepturd..
That last story sounds like the therapist was playing every healthcare worker's favorite game: Hungry Hungry HIPAA. And is going to lose.
*First OP:* Um ... WHAT!? OP's sister's mad at OP for betraying her trust? OP wouldn't have snitched if her sister hadn't used OP's nickname! OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* Going by the title, OP is NTA.
"I always pictured my son's bride in that dress." Yeesh. OP's future (?) MIL didn't even see OP as her own person; MIL only saw OP as her son's bride.
Also, if OP's (ex) fiancé cares so much about his mom's vision for the wedding, he can go marry his mom instead. Additionally, OP's dad is being an AH for telling the OP to "go with the flow." It's OP's wedding! Not her MIL's wedding!
*Third OP:* As OP typed out her post, was there any point where she thought, "Why am I engaged to this dude?" Maybe it's the pessimist in me, but I feel OP's fiancé wanted OP to isolate herself from her father as a control tactic. OP is NTA. I sincerely hope she leaves her finacé.
*Fourth OP:* Why are people on AITA forgetting their credit cards? This is probably the second or third story I've read/heard about someone "accidently" leaving their credit card at home. OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* The therapist broke the Code of Conduct by sharing details about his client with an outside source, so OP did the right thing by reporting that therapist. OP is NTA, and he should handle his son's stepdad next.
Second OP: Finally! Someone said it! I was about to go off on OP's dad because he's essentially taking the side of the MIL
The returning of the wedding dress is a major red flag, over both the Fiance, who is a controller or is controlled by his Mom and the Monster-in-Law/Just No Mother-in-Law herself. I think that this is a get counseling to see if it helps, which it likely will not, or just skip to just walk away from the relationship now.
Yeah miss “vision” just needs to marry her son apparently since clearly they already have planned their wedding together and just find a surrogate since they already apparently are together lmao (yes this is sarcasm)
For the 2 brides to be: run, ladies, RUN!
The girlfriend with the moocher boyfriend who can't feed his kids needs to kick his sorry ass to the curb. Do not let this man have even one more minute of your precious energy.
As for the so called therapist, where in the world did this guy get his training? Diplomas R Us? OP needs to get his State's Board involved. He sounds like the "therapist" is, and will be a menace to society and needs his license (if he even has one!) revoked.
That first story just made me think of the episode of Friends where Phoebe’s sister was a P⭐️ and everyone kept mistaking her for her sister in public.
lol I just said same thing
Phoebe Buffay in "Buffay the Vampire Layer!"
My first thought from the title made me think it would be something from “the Hub”, instead it was a Friends episode.
As a mom who has kids in therapy, I don’t even feel I need to know details of what is said. My kids need to feel they have a safe space to talk about issues they have without fear of punishment or parental judgement.
Hey Dabney. Thank you so much for all the content you make, I've been watching your channel for years now. I just got out of surgery for thyroid cancer, and I've been looking forward to your video today!
Hope you get better soon Kelsey!
Get better soon mate. Stay strong
Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Speedy recovery, and a long healthy life to you!
Speedy recovery! Thankfully you’ve got Dabney to entertain you during!
last story:
kid: my step dad emotionally abuses me
therapist: oh man better tell your abusive step dad you told me all the bad things he does.
Last story: I had to go to therapy when I was a kid, they only have permission to share with the parents if the kid said something that is genuinely concerning, like talking about hurting themselves or others
Holy crap that guy had no right to do that to his fiance
I can relatie to the 1st story. I found a profile on a free kinkwebsite when my identical twin sister and I where 18. I was told about the profile because apparently the entire village knew accept me. I felt so gross. Where identical twins so so many people saw my body because of my sisters actions. There were even pictures of when we were 17 on there.
I tried to blackmail her to delete the account or else I would tell mom, but my sister told my mom that I was blackmailing her and I got punished for that. And my mom wouldn’t listen to my story and that she’s ruining my future as a math teacher because of her actions. If a student would find out I lose my career even though it’s not me.
We’re 23 now and the account is still up. I wish I had the parents of the first story.
I feel like the only possible answer for your situation is murder.
Sounds like your mom knew and had her hand in your sisters kinky money jar. If the whole village knew, your mom definitely knew. I mean, even in the unlikely scenario where she didn't know, she must at least know what you are supposedly 'blackmailing' your sister about to punish you yea? And if she punished you without even knowing what you are supposedly 'blackmailing' your sister about, then she definitely knew and just didn't care. Else, your story wouldn't make sense because you could always just show your mom the supposed account, or some printed pictures if you don't even have access to a personal device, her refusal to believe you means nothing in the face of kinky pictures after all...
Gosh...
Sue your sister. You need to defend yourself. Go to lawyer, show and explain everything, get help from someone.
@@komandorbentus2731 Something like that would likely be a very long and expensive legal battle, and possibly result in the account getting more exposure to the people in Emma's life through eyes on the case. Because while the account could cause trouble through mistaken identity, as long as the twin doesn't try to take her identity like in the first story, the twin would argue that she has the right to sell herself online and shouldn't have her rights restricted because of genetics. And unless damage actually happens, the prosecution would be arguing from theoreticals.
It's probably better to just stay quiet and hope the account doesn't get discovered, and gather evidence and paperwork in preparation to defend her job and/or file a suit if it does.
That is one thing I learned from all the cartoons growing up.....never go to the bad guy first to try to reason with them, they will act first and thwart the plans you clued them in on.
Your best bet at this point is to hire legal help.....someone who can legally delve into thing and find ways to prove when and where things are being uploaded from, so that if things do come out, you already have the proof that it isn't you.
Also possible that lawyer could maybe make it so that if she doesn't make it obvious it isn't you, that you get the income from it. Either way you need legal help.
Yeah let’s punish a child for opening up to a therapist, that won’t have bad repercussions later in life. NTA op you should start gathering evidence to try and take full custody
Story 2, 3 & 4: Are you sure you want to be with this guy?
I agree with the therapist responding to OP, the kid's therapist broke every rule/guideline in telling step dad all about the therapy sessions. SO WHAT if the kid badmouthed step dad to the therapist? I'd be surprised if he didn't!! (I mean what child doesn't have a beef with a parent or especially the step parent while growing up be it daily or from time to time)?
1st story I thought it was going to be a repeat story from before where the twin actually used neither's identifying... well identity, where I at least feel like she is allowed to do so, it probably is just weird for the twin sister because they look alike. This however, is different and I agree with you, it's totally trying to give her sister a bad reputation on purpose rather than trying to stay anonymous
Wow that's one way for the guy to admit hes married to his mom
Story 2: L e a v e t h e s p i n e l e s s m a n
Also butthole score for the dad "trying to keep the peace" THOS IS THE TOME FOR WAR
First story - I was ready to say that OP was the AH until we got to the part where her sister was using a name OP went by. Given that they're twins, that is not ok. OP is NTA.
The “only fan” twin story… Ursula from friends did the same thing !! LoL !!
Story 1 - there were very few instances where I would have said NTA based on the title (such as if OP and twin were minors), and impersonating someone onto make adult entertainment is a clear NTA
In my CNA courses, they hammered in how crucially important it is to keep medical information private. It was a part, either large or small, of each session. I can only imagine that higher level courses, like the ones the therapist had to take, doubled down on that theme.
Story 1 nta if this were to ever blow up op would suffer the consequences.
Dad walking Daughter Down the Aisle story: 🛑❌🛑
OP, you need to END the relationship with your fiance. He has NO right or say in regards to your Dad walking you down the aisle. Do not give in to him. He's already shown his true character and will only get worse as your husband.
Story 1: Okay you can't control what someone does with their body just because they look like you. Yes it's unpleasant, but that's life.....Buuuuuut sister lost me when she's actively using OPs known nickname as her username. NTA, I'd have sued
Story 2: Nope, time to call it quits. He can go find some way to marry his mother. "But Empress you always jump to divorce" I hear you say. No one wants to marry a guy who actively controls your choices because his 'mommy had a vision'. NTA, stop putting up with this.
Story 3: What the hell did I just read?! Is that guy insane? Daddy being a grieving widow with no money who isn't selling his stuff to buy the son-in-laws approval somehow makes him 'unworthy', well screw off, that's not for him to decide. NTA for now, but you will be if TA if you do not drop this circus
Story 4: He forgot it on purpose, NTA
Story 5: This is why I don't trust therapists. I hate when they turn double agents for someone they know or want to gossip with friends. REPORT THEM! GET THEIR ASS FIRED!
1: Idenity theft is a serious problem... but this was litterly the sister trying to harm her twin's image AND make a buck out of it. It was win-win for the twin. Not for OP.
2: Divorce is a perfect answer.. come on... it's OP's money and the Mom decides shit? ...Get off. The dress is 100% the bride's decission in the end. THAT IS TRADITION.
3: I was about to defend the son in law when the dad clearly is unable to cope with his grief , but his methode was off... but when I heard "Your dad can't walk you since he won't pay.."
FUCK OFF. The dad wasn't even mooching off the daughter...he was struggling and couldn't pay, but clearly wanted to be part of his daughter's life. The dad clearly has some deep underlying issues unable to deal with grief...and might have a hoarding problem, but otherwise 100% innocent. The son in law's motive was clear when he just wanted money from his father in law and not help him get over his grief and hoarding.
4: 100% on purpose...I forgot things alot too, but I always pay my debts off for my friends. Mostly via an app right away. So in this decade and "not being able to pay" is either on purpose or an unreliable guy you shouldn't be dating. If a guy keeps forgetting money or a way to pay... how can you be sure that when you live with him he can't get any groceries ever since he keeps "forgetting?" or if you have kids he "Forgets" to feed his kids cause he left money in a different pair of pants. Aka... if you go on he isn't doing on purpose... he's a dumbass you shouldn't live your life with.
5: Holy shit, I have trouble with therapists and prefer being a therapist for myself and friends since i want to help... trust me i have issues of my own I deal with... but I atleast still function mostly. I don't do therapy anymore since it's alot of time wasting....so yea...
Therapist here. Report that therapist all day long
Last story: Therapist and step-father both should get 5/5 BH on the scale, just due to step-father punishing the boy for what the therapist told the step-father. The therapist gets it for telling things in confidence to someone who wasn't the boy's parent.
Thank you RSlash for posting on my bday 🙏
Story 3: I feel the MIL wants a dress that she sees for herself. Very, veeery creepy.