Psychosis at 14?! | My First Hallucinations
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
- Back when I was in middle school, I started hearing voices. This is how my first hallucination went down and what happened next.
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I also had psychosis from the age of 14. I got full blown psychosis and went to a psych ward for 8 months. It's very rare, and I almost never hear people talk about it. Make it a conversation!
Psychosis isn't a mental illness so no you didn't have psychosis you were psychotic... Psychosis is a mental state you go into from mental illness or drugs (sometimes even stress) so you either have a current mental illness that triggers psychosis or it was triggered by something else but you didn't have psychosis
@@isu.f.osevenathing4932 This is semantic hairsplitting. Psychosis is a noun. Psychotic is an adjective.
Your story about your mental experience was absolutley fascinating.
Thank you for sharing. Glad yours are friendly. I wish my son had friendly auditory hallucinations. His are always angry and condescending.
I’m grateful that most of mine are friendly. I have a few bad ones, one of which absolutely terrifies me, but he doesn’t show up very often. Thanks for the comment!
My son is going through a lot too .
Looks like friendly Bot this day.
Thank you very much for speaking about your experience with Twilight and Orion. I 100 percent understand you missing Twilight, and I hope he comes back to talk to you soon.
Dude one day, one day I’ll get lucky. I’d cry tbh
I have a hallucination similar to how you explained your first one. Their name is Artemis, and they have helped me through breakdowns. I really appreciate having them around. :)
I started having hallucinations and delusions back in 2021. With all the voices in my head I genuinely believed I was splitting into more people. These voices have their own personalities and everything. (All except one, he's just a nasty voice)
Loved how you explained internal vs external hallucinations. Sometimes I doubt I hear voices and that they're just thoughts and its nice to have a refresher. ♡
So glad to help! And it’s really cool to hear you have a good one too. It’s a misconception that all voices are bad and it’s nice to hear I’m not alone in my own self-made good influences. Thanks!
How can you hear a voice - auditory hallucination if its sound like thoughts and its not audible? I dont understand
@@Fox45-q7byou literally hear talking in your head and usually they have commands for you. (at least for me) most of the ime its my own voice but occasionally theres a very evil little girl who wants me to suffer and cry
@@Fox45-q7bthey don’t sound like thoughts, they sound like voices.
Like voices that are not yours.
But seeing as they’re coming from inside your head and not outside, you can rationalise it to yourself quite easily as someone who is in denial or just doesn’t know.
I didn’t know auditory hallucinations could be internal until very recently, I thought they were always external.
That’s why I would make myself believe I was just somehow making up these voice myself and that they must be thoughts.
@@lattysmart what about ocd and people with anxiety? We expreince very active inner voice ( mind chatter). Like this -www.reddit.com/r/OCD/s/ATFgLWHyHq
Your videos are amazing!! My little weird obsession is I find it fascinating how there's even a relation between religion and psychosis. Sometimes I wonder how many historical religiously based events were actually a product of someones mania, and it got recorded. But a lot of good things have been contributed by people who wouldnt be considered neurotypical so its a gift to have those things and to be able to see and enjoy them
I wonder those things too, and I’m glad you like the videos! Thanks!
but what if it is exactly the opposite you make Mary Sound Crazy then because Gabriel spoke to her and told her she was pregnant and I believe the WORD OF GOD! I do believe in Angels I believe in them ,why? I truly believe in JESUS and the holy spirit will speak to you. I think the WORLD wants you to not believe or have faith so they want everyone who does Believe in GOD sound crazy when actually I think we are blessed with gifts that others do not have. I do believe SATATN has done a wonderful job of making drugs sound like the answer to everything!! In the BIBLE God states he will put those that do not believe in a strong delusion. See how man twists all this too make us doubt God. Soon the rapture will happen and fallen Angels will be seen aka Aliens hmmmmm something to ponder. It is a spiritual war and a really difficult one living in a world of corruption and lies everywhere. I just pray it is all over soon and JESUS puts a stop to all this for everyone. God bless and I pray for everyone out there. Oh ya, I was told I was crazy for believing just like so many others for they hated JESUS they will not like us!
That has been shot down forever! NO Christian leaders have EVER been categorized as schizophrenic! In fact, schizophrenics are the hardest people to reach for Christ. Their thinking is also so illogical that if someone was having a psychotic situation no one would follow them as a religious leader.
I don't hear many people's experiences that are related to hallucinations, and everything I have heard was on TV, so it's probably not the best way to hear others' experiences. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey. I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty.
Thank you for talking about internal hallucinations, nobody ever talks about it! I’ve tried looking for more information on them but all I usually find is external. I used to think I had a type of schizo-disorder, but turns out it was just DID. I still experience psychosis, I’m not sure what the root of it is, whether it’s from some type of schizo-disorder or just PTSD. Honestly I’m too scared to find out and seek diagnosis for it, the world is shit, especially to the mentally ill and I don’t wanna be diagnosed with any more issues. If I am then I’ll have to confront them. Which I’m afraid will lead to even more patronization and disbelief from “professionals” who are too out of their depth, scared, or ignorant to help me.
Sorry this ended in rant, I got worked up as I wrote this, but I genuinely enjoyed your video! Thank you for talking about these things
The lack of information on internal hallucinations definitely contributed to me not getting help sooner! Like if I knew they were a thing, I probs would have been diagnosed sooner. So comments like this are why I made content on them. Best of luck with your journey, and I’m glad you know you’re not alone!
It's very strange how much our western "schizophrenia" has in common with the eastern "shamanism." I also learned about how schizophrenia and autism are closely related, and how both of those groups are much more likely to experience psychic abilities and telepathy than "regular," neurotypical people. It's really fascinating. 🤔
Yeah, I can relate. I knew when my father died out of the blue. I started pacing and had this really strong urgent panic that I had to leave work and go see my parents. It was overwhelming for about a half hour but I couldn't leave! And then my mother called me that night and said my dad had died of a massive heart attack at about that same time. And I've had hallucinations where when my mother was dying my brother looked me right in the face and said, "I'm going to dye your hair black in the casket". But of course he never said that.
Same Brain right!
Way too long after you posted -
I'm sorry for your loss of a foundational relationship.
I was taught, back when I was a psych major (before I had to drop out) that the *reason* the various "schizo" disorders are so difficult is because _perception IS reality._ Even now, after accepting you have schizo- affective disorder, it appears that you feel that they're as real as they ever were. This is the first video of yours I've come across, so I know nothing further of what you shared (about to fix that) but I can still feel for you the loss you must feel.
(And be just a smidge jealous - I have PTSD which *occasionally* means some terror- laden hallucinations, and many meds that don't affect others that way cause me to hallucinate, but, ya know, the same PTSD terror. The ONLY not terrifying hallucination I've ever had was med induced - I had a VIBRANT Tony The Tiger floating in the center of my vision for over 3 days once. And no it was not the normal "please knock me out everyone looks like a monster and there are HUNDREDS of them", it still kept me from functioning for those 3 days (I could not SEE ANYTHING but Tony. I couldn't read or watch TV or _anything._ It was less bad, but yeah))
Anyway, thank you for sharing (my step mother is paranoid schizophrenia, and I think my step sister is developing it, so I found you doing research into what it's like, because I'd like to help them...) and I'm off to watch more!
Enjoy the vids! ^_^
I found your channel recently and I would really like to thank you for everything you do. You help me so much! I have bipolar disorder type 1 with psychotic features. I had my first manic hallucination when I was 15. Suddenly I saw the door to my room open and a very bright and damn warm light was shining behind it. It was something amazing.
Please, look up the Baszucki Group for help, Matt Baszucki got cured from Bipolar disorder and has a very credible story, too.
I too was fourteen when my hallucinations started. It was so scary because I would hear insults said in foul language inside my head and I couldn’t make them stop.Being a Christian I prayed and asked God to set me free but it lasted a whole summer long. Then it suddenly stopped and only came back the summer after. Had I known medication could help I would have talked about it to a doctor but I had no idea what was happening to me.Thank you for being so open about your experience. I have learned so much about schizoaffective disorder since I started watching your videos!
Did you ever hear insults that you hadn't heard before or didn't know of?
@@joeking433 no, i hadn’t.one of my relatives used to swear a lot so a lot of what I heard as hallucinations I was already familiar with.
I really enjoyed this one! The way you explained internal vs. external auditory hallucinations was super clear & helpful. And your description of hearing voices in your head also helped clarify the difference between hallucinations vs. an internal monologue (which I could see being a point of confusion for a lot of people).
It was fascinating to learn about your first experience with an internal auditory hallucination. Twilight sounds like he was an awesome friend, and after hearing your story about him, I understand why you were sad to lose him, even though you later came to realize and accept that he was just the result of a chemical imbalance in your brain. If I'd had someone like him around in my head, I would miss him too!
It was also super interesting that your mom thought of him as an angel. Having grown up & lived my life in the Bible belt, I know what you mean about the line between religion and psychosis being blurred (and have seen multiple friends & family members blur that line in various ways). So I can see how that would pose a challenge to you getting the help you needed.
Thank you so much for sharing this very interesting (and very personal) story!
It took me SO LONG to figure out how to explain that my voices were like thoughts that didn’t belong to me. Like in the years leading up to when I actually realized I was hallucinating, I could never put into words what I was experiencing. What’s interesting is that I do have an internal monologue because I’ve grown up thinking and having conversations the whole time. So I don’t know how to not think in words! I just don’t always get opinions now 😂
But I definitely have had plenty of people over the years ask me what the difference is between my voices and a internal monologue, and I basically tell them that the voices are there as part of the monologue in their own way, but they don’t sound like me or act like me and I cannot control them. Then they usually go “ohhhhh” So I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better at explaining it. Maybe I will make a video to explain more in depth!
Anyways, enough rambling, thanks for sharing your thoughts, GC! I love your comments
Whoa! All the internal stuff took me intentionally making them for months and even years intentionally to get to a stage where they’d happen on their own. It is different than internal dialogue. They basically replaced all the negative experiences I had previously over my teens, and I had started doing this when I was 5. Which is why my mom thought I had a disorder, but apparently it’s not considered one for me, but I have also never been evaluated for autism despite ticking all the boxes in the DSM-5 criteria.
I've had a distinct kind of internal auditory hallucination a few times, and thankfully only a few times, because it sounds like a large group of angry people all yelling to be heard -- not yelling at me or anything in particular, mind you, just yelling. And there are so many different voices they make a wave, a kind of pressure in my head. It's never lasted long, kind of builds up and goes away over a few minutes, a few times an hour or for a few days and then maybe years later. I think it's becoming less common, it's been maybe a year since the last feeling, and a couple years before that.
Anyways, this video definitely got me thinking about these episodes. I know I have some kind of mild/undiagnosed autism/ADHD, and might as well add psychosis to the list as well.
I'm not exactly sure when mine kicked in but I was pretty young. thing that got me was sometimes mine were actual spirits and despite being very aware of my mental health issues and what they appeared to be I was like "nah, I'm not crazy" cause there was actually something there sometimes lol. Like other people would see the same things. the most trustworthy one for me though was my dog reacting to the same nothing I was reacting too in the same way. Like I felt something was watching me in a specific area and that it was very malevolent in nature and for several minutes I'm just like "no, there's nothing there" and then my dog suddenly gets up and looks in the same direction and also starts freaking out. like you could tell she was actually terrified and my thing was "wait, I can't talk a dog into thinking it saw the same thing I did" so for me that was more trustworthy than when people witnessed things I was seeing. Unfortunately, I put off seeking any kind of treatment for a LONG time because I was just like "nah, I see spirits. not schizo, just gifted" lol.
Obsessed with the detailed and at once clinical and personalized insight. Such depth. Thank you for this resource.
No problem! It’s what I love to do :)
@@SchizoKitzo That's great news for those who deal with schizoaffective disorder and those who are keen to learn more about it!
This video has me considering if I have voices. I’ve previously explained it as compartmentalisation, thinking in conversation as you said, as anxiety or adhd, both of which I’ve been diagnosed with. But it’s always been more separate from my thoughts than that. Sometimes it’s part of a sentence and doesn’t quite get through, especially if I’m talking to someone or focused on something. I spend ages trying to figure out what that sentence was going to be which wouldn’t make sense if it was coming from my brain.
I clearly found this at the right time. The clearest voice I’ve ever had is my godfather, who died a few months ago and has been in my head the past few days since my mum kicked me out. He only says “it’s okay” or “you’ll be ok” when I’m stressed out, sometimes when something irritating happens, even if i barely noticed it, he’ll start swearing at it but it still comforts me because it is his voice, his mannerisms, his tone. I even feel him, like how you described feeling twilight. His presence is there. I’m very spiritual and while I’d like to believe he is (positively) haunting me, it may be the start of something more serious as I’m at a very high-stress point in my life.
I appreciate your openness on this. It's relatable.
You also the type of person I'd like to meet - (friend type - not creepy) Your positivity about the schizo is helpful and you seem to be fun.
Thank you for the description. I hear my thoughts sounding in different voices, mostly male ones, but I am a girl. Sometimes these thoughts tell what I, personally, don't agree with, but other times they tell just random staff and sound like they are drunk. I thought it was common experience though. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, but I couldn't understand, why. I hear external hallucinations rarely and don't think that in my case they are due to the disease, because they are usually after sleep deprivation or in the hypnagogic period, which is normal. They are less annoying and much more beautiful (psychedelic) though. These external ones are sounding like nothing in consensus reality. very crisp, and with a reverb thing.
It’s interesting how my internal ones are also so totally different from my external ones as well. When it started being external I would have thought I’d just hear what went on on the inside outside but that wasn’t the case. I hope you have a good day!
Thank you for this video! I don’t really experience voices as such but mainly delusions and disorganised thinking. Things can get pretty crazy when I’m having an episode and afterwards I hardly remember a thing I have said or done. My doctor is still trying to find out whether I have “just” a bipolar mood disorder or schizoaffective disorder. Nevertheless I get a lot of information from your videos so thank you so much ❤️
My first was one I would later call the woodsman. He helped me deal with so much in my life. I miss him. I talked bickering and argued with people in my head for years. In fact i, I didn't think I have anything for years in fact it was this video I have to admit that I hear voices. What you've described is my everyday. But I'm not sure I want them all to go away😢
Now after learning about hallucinations that happen inside the brain….. the way you described it… a thought talking back… I worry… because I’ve experienced this for yrs after I lost my grandpa…. And I thought maybe clairaudient. But now I worry more that it’s not. I also just tested it, and I can hear a very faint voice but I always think that’s me. Just quiet thoughts. Thank you for making these vids. Just stumbled across bc I am interested to learn about people’s different experiences with their own mental health issues. Glad I found your page. You keep it real and interesting✨✨
I like the names of your others, cuz mine are former coworkers of mine. There was chief, with the distinct thick upstate new york accent, there's C, with his snarky Chicago accent and comments on my every move and tells me how to be sketchy, and then there's B, with a insidious monotonous voice. When I'd try telling some sea stories to the VA, C's voice would pop up and interrupt my thought with "ok now you're just making shit up" . B's favorite phrase to say was "he's faking it".
I have voices that comment like that too! The making up things etc… like making me doubt myself and lose confidence. It’s the worst! Even if I know they’re lying to me it’s still frustrating in the moment. Also, sea stories sounds really fun! I’m sure you have some good ones. Thanks for sharing!
Omg I’ve been having internal random voices for so long and my biggest „psychotic fear“ was having DID which I know is stupid but well…I’m on meds but these internal voices never went away.
Honestly I’ve been down the DID path myself in all of this, and I actually thought that’s what they were years ago! But yeah, big difference between that and schizo disorders but it’s a relatable fear. So, you’re not stupid :)
Awe, listened to the rest.
DID is fundamentally different, but does provide a space from which empathy is easily accessed with regard to these beings you describe.
Humans are not born as one self and we sort of try selves on as we adapt to the world around us in early childhood development and are generally expected to begin to integrate into one self at around 7 or 8. With DID that process fails to happen, meaning that the fragmented selves can start to exist on their own and new fragmentation can continue to occur. My selves are actually real, but because we were developed to address trauma, it's still necessary for us to work together in order to be a healthy system in one body. We each have developmental delays because we came along at certain times and have not integrated to one self.
But I do relate to having people inside to talk to. For me, that happened way later, when we became coconscious, rather than having only one alter front with the rest shoved back in headspace. I love them all, even the very, very old ones who are still a bit scary in presentation. I have had everyone go into headspace and freeze me out and it's beyond painful.
Despite the differences, these are survival adaptations and began in childhood to assist us in our overwhelm. So whether or not they are "real" is secondary to what they mean to us, so long as we are able to maintain a reasonable amount of control, for the sake of safety.
I def think you are allowed to miss them. For you, they have been fully realized friends and would have their own personality and nuance. And again, they were developed in a child brain that required their support. The fact that they don't exist in the world does not diminish memory of them.
I'm glad you can see them for what they are, both as how they helped you when seen as real and how it is helpful now to fact check psychosis now. It's super important to fact check. Safety first. Always. But yeah, we can love our openness to experience as well. We don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water.
Thank you for sharing and for what you do. Helping us to understand what our loved ones are going through. Many years of supporting a family member and still not being able to wrap my head around it is tough.
It’s a very hard thing to convey to someone who doesn’t experience it, but take it from me, the fact that you’re trying makes a world of difference. Hang in there
@@SchizoKitzo do you think it unusual for someone to have schizophrenia for 9 years and not ever have the thought or idea or hunch that it’s just hallucinations. My wife has always been fully convinced that what she is experiencing is reality.
Thank you for this ::: You are a true warrior ❤ Remember you are not alone! Stay strong 💪
I have this condition also, I've heard voices for as long as I can remember, internal voices and only years later did I find out not everyone had this experience. My voices got me through the hardest parts of my life but when I was doing well the voices would break me back down until my life was always hard. Medication broke the cycle but I must admit, when things are getting real and hard, i miss them... but not enough to go back... never
Hey people love you regardless. If you're ever around people who don't love you, you're worth more.
its so funny you brought up saying “I think in conversations” as an excuse because… I DO think in conversations, that’s the only way I think, it’s always talking to someone. But I don’t think it’s a voices thing because a) I don’t usually quite hear the responses, I just know what it is, and b) it’s not just one person, though I don’t really consciously get to decide who, it’s usually people I know. As much as I try I just haven’t been able to think only to myself - the “internal monologue” thing doesn’t make sense to me because I literally don’t know how to do that!
(though, I do have at the very least tendencies towards weird and maybe psychotic Things, and nobody I’ve talked to knows what I mean about dialogue. maybe its a general messy brain situation)
As a late diagnosis at 60 just happened, there is so much that is explained and so much that has been lost. I’m coming to grips with the loss and the fear. Your channel helps a lot, so thank you.
I’m glad I can help, reminds me why I do this. Thank you and best of luck with your journey!
mine is a girly voice but its actually very kind though still annoying. she keeps on saying sorry when I watch the hallucination simulation.
Another good one! Thanks for sharing your experience. Surprising how it manifests in kids. I never knew.
I never knew either 😂 jokes aside, it was early onset, but I’ve heard of people getting psychotic symptoms even younger than that. I have a long running theory that I was having symptoms when I was even younger, but they were few and far between so they don’t really “count”, because when twilight showed up it was happening all the time from then until well, now basically. Big difference. Thanks so much!
Hi, thank you so much for talking so positively about your childhood symptoms. They have made me see some similarities to my childhood and I think that I may need to talk to my psychiatrist about this or at least my GP. I also had “angels” as a child, and was considered special by my grandmother's church because I could see them. After my brain surgery, a voice named Kyle joined the group and he talked me through a lot of what I needed to relearn. Thank you so much for guiding me to a positive revelation. 😸
Best of luck in your journey!
I can relate with so much you covered here.
Thank you for all your beautifully made videos. I have external and internal auditory hallucinations, and visuals, too. Your eyes are beautiful.
Thank you so much and I’m glad you found it relatable!
@@SchizoKitzohow is internal voice that you have at 14 hallucination if it sound like inner voice or thought? Like then 80 percent of people with OCD has hallucination?
Thank you. This will forever be the video be the video I realized I do not just have bipolar one. And thank you for speaking on hyper spirituality. I love Jesus and I never thought there'd come a day I need to take a break from Him.
Best of luck in your journey 🐝
Amazing how we can even get through a number of stressful events even though we have all this internal conversation (hallucination) going on, but I think I prefer the sleeping dogs. : )
My sister has been experiencing this condition since past two weeks, she believes that some negative force is trying to seduce and communicate to her, she feels shes possessed by a demon, she's has become so skeptical. She hears voices, but shes not accepting that she's hellucinating she often wakes up crying😢.
Thanks for all these ❤❤
No problem :)
Great video Kit! ❤
thank you so much for sharing this ❣️
just out of curiosity... Have you ever tried to get Twilight to return?
i feel like maybe since he was the first, and he began turning his back after more came, maybe he felt the space became too crowded & he could no longer have his connection with you. Especially with Orion seeming to dominate the space where he was once the only one. Have you ever tried to make the others leave and have just Twilight return? Are you able to communicate with them in these ways? (i know you can't exactly control them, and they just appear, but have you ever tried to have authority over who gets to be there in some manner?)
also since Twilight was seemingly a helpful one, has he ever tried to give you advice on making the others leave? or warning about them?
(this is less important, but im also curious about what Orion & Twilight's arguments were about, and what the dialogue between them consisted of)
Religion and psychosis as a blurred line yes!!!!!! Been there 4 real!
dude twilight sounded awesome. very wholesome
I miss him so much 😭 😭 😭
It sounds like you’re describing the inner world alters in dissociative identity disorder.
Ooooo inner worlds in DID are fascinating! And I see why you’d think that, I actually thought about that myself when I first learned what an inner world was in the concept of DID. However, my voices don’t have memories and I don’t have any amnesia blocks, and my “inner world” if it could be called that is very basic. Trust me, I’ve been tested for DID. They’re just voices. But thanks for bringing this up! I wondered if someone would!
All my voices to are good, I don't care what people think of them. They are the good friend everyone would love to have. And I believe they are from God being a Christian. Because they have helped me through the worst of time in my schizo affective disorder. I think one of them is actually God. They keep me moving to being not only a better person, but help me to get through problems,and sorrow.
You may want to see Open Dialogue with Jaakko Seikkula. Or the Hearing Voices organization...there are people & places that do not pathologize your experiences.
Hmm….Sometimes I am up at night lying very still thinking at any moment that I will hear a internal audible voice, but I never do! I guess I am lucky for that, so I rest in the idea that maybe my mental illness isn’t as bad or never really was to begin with! At best I tackle with destructive self-harming impulses, but like any thought I placate it by, for instance, I scratch my wrists, but never slash them!
Having voices show up all of the sudden was a very… interesting experience and even now i look back on that and wonder why I didn’t think something was wrong when in hindsight so much of it was a red flag. oh well!
This is exactly what I am going though! I named my first hallucination Kevin.
Hopefully Kevin is a good guy! And best of luck in your mental health journey. Everything will work itself out, just be patient and follow treatment plans.
Your a mention of NAC was huge for me.
Than you for your honesty I wish you well and will Keep watching
Thanks so much for the support!
Ty
good video kitz!
My own internal auditory hallucinations began in either junior high or high school. There were one or two main ones. I did have a further occurrence during my senior year of college. That was when I finally managed to get help, and get diagnosed as well on meds
I’m glad you got help for it, and thanks for sharing this!
@@SchizoKitzoif u don't mind have u ever had thoughts about jumping from a 😢 cliff or or high rise building do u feel scared of suicide or death 💀 do u fear death by suicide please tell me 😰😰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
@@akshorts2115but how are internal auditory hallucinations if you dont acutally heard it like external hallucinations? Like the girl in video describe internal hallucinations as simmila to thoughts .
I am sorry you feel the loss of Twilight. I am also sorry that you didn't get help sooner. 🙏❤️
It’s all okay now, thank you
I get rid of my schizophrenic symptoms by seeing the voices ( hallucinations) in person, "hear" IN Toronto....no medication required. They look worse in real life.
A part of me wonders if this person you hear is your past life human body. Or some sort of spiritual guide.
there is a voice in my head that doesn’t belong to me and they claim to be sent from somewhere (they won’t tell me) but they say they are there to stop me from killing myself (as i have very heavy suicidal ideation). but them trying to help isn’t helpful. they will resort to any measure to make me feel better in my mind (they tell me to harm myself and others). i don’t listen to them but they also constantly tell me everyone hates me and they are the only one who will ever understand me because they are inside my mind. i feel it is very detrimental to my health. anyway, i was wondering if this is normal or could it possibly be a symptom of psychosis?
what?? i didnt know that was a thing, when i was in a mdd episode i was always talking to someone in my head, i wanted them to shut up but they never did. i thogth i was going crazy. its stoped now that i am on anti psychotics and anti depressnts
Thank you for sharing sorry similar experience where I built a friendship that then turned against me
It’s hard stuff, sorry you had to go through that and I hope things are better now!
You are great in my life❤ i had same illness.. thnk u share me ur experience 😢😢
I’ve seen myself dead so many times with hallucinations.
Thankyou, Friend 💐
of course!
As. A kid always. Missionary friends was weird in school.
Damm straight away see it's so relatable see mine was my protector he was trying to protect me from my dad and people, knew everything about me saw all the pain I was in but it would say things to do to stop things from happening but weirdest thing was everything it ever said would happen if I ignored what he said it happened the way it said it would but the weirdest thing is it would tell me who's behind me tell me what their dressed like if they are riding a bike it was so fucking real like a actual person who tried his best to protect me get me away from situations but then created the worse one I ever had making me loose the only person who truly cared about me the only one who spent enough time to realise I hear a thing but when I lost her my brain became psychologically damaged that created a new thing it destroyed my protector replaced it with a animal creature part that's part of who I am but I feel how damaged drenched in its own blood almost completely feral from fear pain and lack of human communication which has now made it almost impossible to live in society because I have a savage nature when hostility and aggression is presented to me I think the part that is that animal is what's left of my protector I think, just it has control over me now I'm extremely impulsive now so I can stop it from coming out using some sort or chemical to stop what's ever goes on in my head but I tried to get sorted for years ago to be worse off, starting trying again just recently but I keep thinking it ain't gonna work still don't know what's the right place what to do because I'm completely uncivilised I'm a natural person have a completely different thought process but I hallucinate more now days seeing stuff but don't really hear things anymore just sounds knocking shouts sometimes like a beginning or end of a mighty scream or when I do have interactions with people idk I'll hear completely different to what's said which if I have bad days I ditch the appointments I have because of that
I am sorry for you. my aunt had schizophrenia too.
In addition to what your therapist told you, try the following:
As muslims , we believe in one creator named ALLAH.
Shouting Allah is the greatest and he is the most merciful alot until your inner brain memories it.
Try to be conscious as much as you can during sunrise and sunset.
Stop drugs and alcohol.
Free advice from a human to his brother.
When did you decide to seek medical help.? What was it that made you start to get help. If you want msg me plz
I have a female voice like this but I had bad voices before I ever had a postive voice. and she is same way she never ever said anything negative about me. they went from normal bad things to more weird stuff and it’s harder to tell if they are just voices.
do you have any advice for someone who thinks they might be hallucinating?
i have been having a very similar experience to what you describe, although, much less intense and frequent.
There is also IFS.
Interesting I wonder if this diagnosis you received if you were assessed again in 2024 perhaps elsewhere if you would be diagnosed the same. I feel that it might be different now.
I've had psychosis for as long as I can remember.
I got external auditory hallucination and they dont tell me theyre names. You dont have to actually talk to cummunicate with them , you can talk to them in your head like a telepathy.
i have a question: how did you know you didnt have alters or it wasnt plurality? do you feel like it was obviously different to you?
Well i wondered, in the beginning, but I didn’t have massive gaps in my memory, was always me all the time according to everyone I knew, and the voices were very…. Simple. While they do have personalities, their “memories” are the same as mine. Finally, DID typically happens in childhood, during the ages of 7-9 when personalities are forming. My symptoms as I knew them started when I was 14 and I don’t have evidence before that. Hope this helps! It’s a good question!
@@SchizoKitzo thank makes sense! i never got the notif for your response so im just seeing it now lol
I thought they changed the name of this disorder to 'bipolar type 2'.
I hear,feel, and see doctors are still trying to figure it out. Came late in life but I get what your saying however mine are new 8 months
This is a really interesting aspect ..
Now I can't understand , my head is full of thoughts to and I always have inner conversations though it's in my own voice , sometimes it's guilty thoughts that just eat my head off and other times it's impulsive , and it's like not having any names and when I just tell them to shut up they do..
Now i don't understand are there inner voices/ thoughts or internal auditory hallucinations?
Inner conversations is your inner dialogue which everyone does. If you think about it, anyone can make up
A conversation in their head and even imagine what the other person may say back to you, and sometimes you may even imagine it in their tone. That’s just an imaginary rehearse conversation. I’m not schizophrenic but I think the difference with internal hallucinations is that the sound of the voice originates from inside the head rather than outside the head and it sounds like a separate entity speaking directly to you. In other words the voice sounds real but it’s just inside the head but still heard as a real voice, and not silently like an inner dialogue/monologue.
@@Welsh_Aussie oh , this is such a nice explanation , thank you so much for clearing this up, I suffer from major depression so mostly I have guilt thoughts ,but sometimes these thoughts start coming in a continous non stop flow manner which becomes little difficult to bear
So to clear up I asked, Thanks again 😊
my issues began around age 4 with seeing small creatures that looked like grey aliens in my room, playing with my toys. i would end up screaming and my mom said I was having night terrors. i had horrifying nightmares throughout childhood. in my early teens i began seeing shadow figures (not always scary) and hearing a terrifying voice in the phone. sometimes my friend would hear it. she is neurotypical with some issues of depression. i had an attack in my bedroom in which my bed was banging against the wall and a voice was mocking me for calling out to jesus. in the end i was diagnosed as having petit-mal seizures and put on meds. the symptoms went away. in 2015 i had a really weird experience smoking weed and that's when the voices began, intermittently. in 2015 i turned 31. by summer 2019 they were unbearable. what do you think about people who claim the experiences they have are a result of psychic abilities? do you believe in psychic abilities? when i hear my voices, i say their words along with them. they get so mad "why can't you listen???" idek man
I became schizoeffective disorder when i was 13.
This means my old fashioned slide show run through a 80s vending machine is not hearing voices.
is twilight give you new info ? like things you didnt know ?
Internal auditory hallucinations, nice...
One psychiatrist wondered if I'm psychotic or not, like genuinely worried after I answered that I have ****al ideation whilst smiling (ikr).
So, can schizoaffective be that with MDD?
Thanks
SO schizoaffective disorder has two types, depressive and bipolar. The depressive type (which I think is what you might be referring to) is when the mood disorder side resembles that of major depression. Psychosis still has to happen with and without a mood episode to be diagnosed schizoaffective. Talk to a doctor about it if you have specific questions about you!
Mine had a name, too...Seth.
I hope youre doing well
Damn this sounds Biblical
Yes! Exactly why I had such issues getting help for it lol
@@SchizoKitzo I tell you this, the supernatural is real, God is real I've experienced things that don't make since.
I've experienced miracles
You can still be medicated and healthy and keep the spirit alive.
I also have schizophrenia but the things I've seen and it experienced and overcome really makes it hard for me, because of the fact that I have experienced real life miracles God bless
@@alpage9306 Schizophrenia is caused by having your 3th dream eye opened either by drug use, or by having an rh negative bloodline, which make you able to see interdimensional beings what people call aliens these days or hybrids but are from an overlapping dimension like the hat man or shadow figures. Strange creatures like black blobs are bodiless creatures that project themselves to you based on your own memories like an awake dream.
Shamans, oracle-Delphi-priests hats-witches hats…..even heard stories from very long long ago how exorcisms of a sexual nature were performed upon children in what we call SA today👉I concur w sounding Biblical
So...the dude in my head isnt normal is what youre saying lmfao
❤
I have the same hallucinations
It's god and angels that talk to you and give you positive advice that you can hear in ur head.. me too ..and the devil sometimes interferes giving you negative messages and lies false info...
I wonder why Twilight stopped communicating, im SOOOO curious
You and me both!
@SchizoKitzo I'm so fascinated by your case specifically (though admittedly I just found your channel) since it seems you have many positive experiences with your voices. I suppose its unhealthy of me to ask, though me not having any form of schizophrenia just has me SO curious, I guess I'd want to hound Twilight what happened lol do or did they all have very specific personalities ? I wonder if there's any relation to the Condition of DID? I have so many questions. Though I suppose it's obviously no fun for you, especially if you can't just, turn it off.
MK Ultra or Voice of God technologies? Trust me, I have psychosis, but these things are real, but used to be top secret subjects.
Ummm, no.
Religion and conspiracy theories are horrible enablers for people with psychotic mental illness.
Can you "feel" things being there?
Are you yelling to hide the voices ?
øRdøakOO..oOøøRd
Maybe twilight will come back if you stop associating him with a disease... Sounds like he was your best friend and din't want you indoctrinated into psyciatry and then he left after that sounds like...
This sounds more like an internal dialogue or racing thoughts not a hallucination. I’ve never heard or watched any psychologist say that hallucinations are like your inner voice. To qualify as a hallucination it has to have a real perception.
Yes same i have pure ocd and i read alot from ocd subbredit and we all experience intrusive thought in inner voice or random thoughts or mind chatter.
@@Fox45-q7b yes I totally understand what you’re saying. I don’t have a diagnosis of ocd but I used to have more of the checking ocd growing up, I didn’t know what it was at the time, however that disappeared, but now it’s more internalized like pure OCD which has been with me for probably 20 years, however it doesn’t effect my day to day life so not sure if it is or not. But I understand what you’re saying! That’s not an hallucination whatsoever.
@@Welsh_Aussie thank you i feel much better because videos like that just confuse me because i always thought hallucinations are only auditory. And for diagnose you need zo have auditory hallucination as far as i know
@@Fox45-q7b this video below is a good explanation from an actual psychiatrist regarding hallucinations.
th-cam.com/video/voXP15pHOhI/w-d-xo.html
Hallucinations with consistent personalities lasting decades, you sure they're not real?
Pretty sure they’re fake lol
Are you cured??
Cool experience, why get "help" wtf
I always say I didn’t go on meds for the voices, I went on them for the delusions and losing the voices was a side effect 😔
You just had telepathy!
So it was a bit like drop dead Fred ?
I had to actually look this up to see what you were referencing and nah, voices aren’t like rogue imaginary friends to me, at least mine. That movie seems like a doozy though, thanks for bringing it to my attention, I might have to watch! If only for the laughs.
I'm curious. I'm writing a story about a young woman, she is 20, and she was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 16. She hears only one clear voice in her head and it another young woman who sounds just like her. She hears other voices when she is in crowds of people, but it's more like she's in a crowded hallway. And she also has severe panic attacks anytime she is around crowds of people and severe mood swings when around other people. My MC also believes she is supernatural and believes she isn't mentally ill. This is a fantasy novel and I'm just wondering if this sounds interesting to people who do have schizophrenia.
You just have to learn how to control it