How Schizophrenia Starts - My Experience with the Prodromal Phase
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 พ.ค. 2024
- The prodrome or the prodromal phase of schizophrenia is the period of time before a first psychotic episode where some warning signs are exhibited. In this video, we go over what some of these warning signs can be, and Lauren also shares what her experience of the prodromal phase was like.
Time Stamps:
00:00 - Introduction
00:53 - What is the prodromal phase of schizophrenia?
02:37 - Prodromal Signs
06:05 - My experience with the prodromal phase
Video mentioned:
Schizophrenia, Addiction, and Me - • Schizophrenia, Addicti...
JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
Join a welcoming community of your peers and find comfort in sharing your experiences. By joining our community, you can benefit from the support of others who understand what you’re going through. We offer live weekly facilitated video peer support groups and text channels to communicate about a wide range of topics. Join today and start feeling less alone with what you’re going through.
• Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com
• General Mental Illness Peer Support Community: www.onlinepeersupport.com
HELP SUPPORT THE CHANNEL
We depend on the support of our audience to create this valuable resource. If you have found our content helpful, please consider supporting us today. Your contribution can make a huge difference and enable us to continue providing valuable resources to those living with mental illness.
• One-time donation: donate.stripe.com/9AQ6oV5S0ef...
• Monthly donation: / livingwellwithschizoph...
MENTAL HEALTH APPAREL
Wear your support for mental health! Our t-shirts, sweaters, and mugs not only spread awareness but also help support this channel. Pick up some mental health apparel today and make a statement while making a difference.
livingwell.myspreadshop.com/
SPEAKING & CONSULTING
Looking for an expert speaker or consultant for your upcoming event or project? With years of experience and a passion for mental health advocacy, I can provide the insight and inspiration you need to make a positive impact. Visit my speaking website to learn more!
www.laurenkennedywest.com/
SOCIALS
Instagram: / livingwellwithschizoph...
TikTok: / livingwellschizophrenia
Twitter: / lwschizophrenia
Website: www.livingwellwithschizophren...
#schizophrenia #livingwellwithschizophrenia #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #prodrome
JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com
General Mental Illness Peer Support Community: www.onlinepeersupport.com
Other people can hear what you're thinking. You just dont know anyone who can do it.
It's strange to say it, but I am proud that I am a person with schizophrenia. I don't mean that it's good to have it, but I am definitely proud of myself for going through it.
stay strong
How so can u please help me understand I know people struggling w this disorder
Me too❤️🔥🙏🏼❤️🔥
Awesome way to look at it, i made it a game to figure out what is a hallucination in the corner of my eye and that was fun for a bit
@@edelquinn3265 your friend might think you are plotting against them for no reason or just need to vent so be patient but dont let them walk all over you or not be held accountable for their actions
My son died by suicide 11 years ago. He was 16 and I've often thought that he was in the beginning stages of schizophrenia. This video makes me think so even more. Thank you so much for posting.
That’s so so sad I hope you’re doing well ! May he rest in piece
@@driftingthroughh I am doing well. Thanks so much.
im sorry that's terrible 😔
@@PunkyBrews no problem I am sending you all the love and light you deserve it
Im 16 and i have schizophrenia sad times
I salute your open honesty. I had a TBI ( the acroynm wasn't coined yet ) in the late 60's. Lost all math ability. No one knew much back then. I exacerbated the situation by dropping acid in the early 70s. Following years, went full Schizo ( hallucinations, etc. ). I got better ( advanced college degree ) and noticed an astounding life change in my 50's when stopping all booze. Drugs and booze affects people differently. In my 70's now. The last 20 years have been more fun than I've ever had
on planet Earth.
That’s amazing. Great comment.
I'm glad youre enjoying yourself! Best wishes
Thank you for this comment. I've been struggling through my 20s, but I'm getting the help I need finally and I have hope my 30s will be better. The next 20, 40 years being better is what keeps me going and comments like yours give me hope.
So true. My drugs of choice were alcohol and weed and I noticed the changes if I drink alcohol I'll get abusive toward others (when going through hangover mode) if I consume weed I'll get angry when I'm hungover. Even when I'm drinking I'll make such bad decisions. Alcohol is like Meth to others. lol! For instance, I'll get drunk and sometimes talk to random strangers. I try to stay away from both but have decided that I'll still do both but only gluten free alcohol and with weed only some...like If I'm sick or my body is not working properly such as breaking a finger.
Gives me hope ❤
Schizophrenia is such a scary and sad mental illness. I have ADHD, major depression, and anxiety. I have so much empathy and sympathy for those suffering with schizophrenia, because it’s so stigmatized. I had a coworker who has it and I had to train him for a position and it was difficult because he’d talk to himself, and have to apologize because he wasn’t talking to me. I don’t think he was doing too well, not showering, in his own world, wouldn’t make eye contact, whispering to himself all the time, it was upsetting because I don’t think he was medicated.
he sounds anxious to me
@@Michelle-mu2uxanxiety is "its not okay for me to be here" schizophrenia is a disconnection with reality (to my knowledge) very different private experiences and symptoms
I hear voices but I don't replying I can control myself in the work
OMG! You’ve got a newborn, and are dealing with a chronic illness, and are turning out intelligent and relevant videos like this. Good on ya!
@Lawrence Connor More CIA BS
@@phonecase2745 Ya, wonder how many gears are left to go until....turn time.
@@AlexTBon4073 Everybody does. You have more control with a manual then an automatic. You drop it in gear and off you go, shifting as you accelerate...We're talking about quality vehicles, not the clown carz with the ynnart missions...
@@phonecase2745 Alright nutjob.
@@AlexTBon4073 You don't have reading commyhension??? Ynnart??? Tei Vos will save us!!! Unite with Tei Vos!!! Purge the Sects of OmOh!!! Free yourselves from the Ekow!!! Be ONE with the Order of Nitup!!! Bring your offerings to the altar of Kell's Grove of the Beneficent!!! Do no EVIL and LIVE!!! LISTEN TO THE ANGEL YAHSURFIAMUR!!!
Sadly the prodromal phase oftentimes seems to present itself at the onset of puberty. Therefore, it’s frequently mistaken for teenage hormonal angst. This is also a time when many young people experiment with substances, further complicating diagnosis. I’m so grateful you are doing these videos. It’s heartwarming to see this beautiful community of commenters opening up about their experiences and supporting each other.
I think its true for other mental illnesses as well. Bipolar and personality disorders. It always starts out as "depression" and "anxiety"
My drug-phase made me appear psychotic/schizophrenic, but it really was just caused by the drugs alone, and I'm completely fine now that I'm (mostly) sober. I easily could've been mistaken for bipolar too when I was just binging and crashing off uppers
Sadly, teenage hormonal angst is often conveniently mistaken for the prodromal (not a word) phase of a serious psychiatric disorder, often times many years later, by money-hungry losers masquerading as "care providers." I am an individual with autism, and because I am also female, the "disorder" presents differently from those who have autism and are male (most research has been done on males). Look into it, PLEASE!! I will not do your research for you, because the biggest part of learning is the journey, and how you found the information yourself, not the destination, and how someone else found the information for you!! Best of luck and blessings to you!!
@@indigo22284 LOL, prodromal is not a word? WTF
It's not exactly a word you would hear when small talking with a cashier, but it is in fact a word. LOL
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prodrome
@@indigo22284 I mean fair enough but can I get your personal opinion on why you think autism presents so differently in females? I'm not at all surprised by the fact men and women are already cognitively different in many ways due to physical, hormonal and social differences. It would seem natural to expect such a complex disorder like autism to only amplify those differences.
It's heartbreaking how alone and misunderstood one can be when experiencing mental problems. Healthy people have this misconception that an illness is something that you don't have until an explosion of symptoms happens, while the reality is that you can spend half of your life in this gray area, with some incredibly debilitating symptoms, wasting most of your potential and still not knowing what is happening to you and what to do.
That's because the progression of this disease is so slow.
My daughter started around 8, mentioning things that where off. She also began wandering at night, she never once came to me for comfort. She just turned 16 and she is about to start antipsychotics. She suffers from poverty of speech, so it wasn't until this past year that she was finally able and willing to write down things that she thinks, sees ect..
I still can't wrap my brain around what I read, or the fact that she has suffered in silence for so long of her short 16yrs. She started having periods of loosing touch with reality last year which she would shut down stop talking and wouldn't go to school, would do anything and something told me, to not push her. I now know that when she hides in her room, it's because her paranoia is to much and that's the only thing that helps quiet them. The only time she doesn't feel like everyone can hear her thoughts, that she doesn't feel like someone is watching her. Ect Her doctor is hoping that starting antipsychotics now, will not only help but prevent it from getting to the point that she looses all capabilities to fight it.
It's very scary and heartbreaking. I do need to say however that you, your channel, help tremendously. I hope you and your viewers realize how strong you are. I know first hand the mental work it takes to be self aware especially when there's a war inside oneself. I often joke that within 10 min of being awake, I've done more talking inside my head than most people probably do all day. As much as I'd love to know what it feels like to have a quiet mind, in a wired way, it's also who I am and can't imagine it any other way.
Are you autistic? There is a link between autism and schizophrenia- they are both neurodivergence. My mind is extremely loud, and I'm autistic with ADHD. All of that has always given me anxiety, but ADHD medicine actually helps way more than anything I tried before then (SSRIs, benzos, SRNIs, etc etc etc.) Treating my neurodivergence was the only thing that ever helped. And knowing I'm autistic. I was previously misdiagnosed with all types of things. I also have an autistic child. Schizophrenic brother. Schizophrenic father.
I have so much respect that you talk about your struggles openly. This is incredibly helpful for anyone else who struggles.
👌✌️❤️
What drugs are you on to be so fucking happy
@@R1ddles93 I agree. I've had an episode recently at 53 years-old. I'm still not smiling or feeling happy. I have many more questions like why did I have hallucinations at my age ??
My struggle is with a network of bourgeois terrorists who have juvenile emotions and thinking and who think people are their toys!!! Now they can keep the their BS off of my feed.
@@phonecase2745 Cover up.
I was diagnosed with autism not too long ago and hearing you talk about you being extremely quiet and not interacting with people brings back some painful memories for me. I acted in similar ways too.
My mom knew I had autism my entire life, but she “failed to inform” me. She watched me flail in middle school and drop out of highschool. It was never academic ineptitude that destroyed my efforts, but the social stress and apathy. She showed me the diagnosis when I was 21. I’m estranged from her now, but still really bitter. She did everything she could to keep me uninformed and confused
@@gelitrippingkiddo5907 my mom did the same thing. watched me struggle my whole life and antagonized me over it. destroyed my self esteem and sense of self.
Same! I just got diagnosed with Autism and experienced everything she did
How old were you when you were diagnosed with autism?
@@gelitrippingkiddo5907 i feel like my mom might know i’m autistic too 😳 because when i was in kindergarten she said my teachers wanted me in eip because although i was really smart i didn’t talk to people.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
I fell in love with a girl in college just in my prodromal phase.
Just when I wanted to ask her out I was losing it.
She saw me slipping away and our chance for love was lost.
That was such a painful experience.
Bram you break my heart 💔 I pray that you find the love you deserve🙏
She wasn’t worth it 😅 Take it as a blessing that you slipped away.
I like someone who I believe has schizophrenia. He’s been pushing me away and telling me to move on that I deserve better. I don’t think he wants me to know. I’m afraid to ask him if he has schizophrenia.
That happened to me too bro :(
My prodromal phase lasted for years. The depression and social awkwardness began around puberty. In high school, the paranoia, panic attacks, and thought broadcasting began in early high school. I was shy, paranoid, and depressed. I began thinking people were plotting against me and I would lash out at them. I lost all interest in classes, even failed a few and barely graduated on time. I attempted college, but was not able to finish. I still struggle to this day. I have weekly therapy, monthly psychiatrist appointments, and am on several meds. I tend to need short psych ward stays several times a year. I really feel if I had gotten help earlier, I would be much better off today. But I ignored my symptoms, coughing it up as being a hypochondriac and just being whiny. IF ANYONE READING THIS IS EXPERIENCING THESE SYMPTOMS, DO NOT IGNORE THEM! GET HELP!!!
I'm so sorry, I have a story almost the exact same as yours.
You are a gift to us!
i went through the exact same thing for YEARS and it was just written off as general teenage angst until i had full on psychosis, it's so frustrating!
What is your current medication regimen?
@@Burevestnik9M730 Vraylar, Prolixin, Klonopin, Gabapentin, and Effexor XR.
My brother in law did the freezing in place a few times. To be honest we first thought he was being a jerk. Then we thought he was just being weird in an artistic way. Then it got scary. The saddest part is that his mother was in such denial for so long that he didn’t get help until much later and he’s never been able to emerge in a way that he could function. It’s been over 25 years.
so sad... we know so little about these diseases. treatment and support is also so hard to find.
I feel like my brother has done the same thing when I was younger but not sure when's the last time he's done that since we haven't been loving in the same room or even house..
I had a similar experience. My mother didn't think I had anything wrong, and when she started believing, she did "tough love" and threw me on the street. That sure helped.
@@chadgarrett6947 that must have added to your confusion and angst. How are you no
Speaking as a person who was savaged by the psychiatric community when I was in my twenties, (I'm now 68), I'd like to say that immediately bringing every little change in thinking or mood to the attention of a physician is a decision that should be carefully weighed. When I was in my late teens, I was simply a confused teenager. I eventually grew (or evolved) out of that confusion but not before I was put through a gauntlet of treatments and drugs I should have never had. Weigh your decision carefully. Interest in religion, I might add, is not necessarily a "symptom" and when it comes to unusual behaviors, it could be asked, are they dangerous or merely eccentric? You can't be afraid to be different and if you don't fit into some common mold, that doesn't necessarily mean you're ill.
I have had a similar experience. I have experienced medical abuse,including psychiatric abuse.
Now I take medicine for anxiety (as opposed to the bewildering cocktail of meds they have had me taking previously)and I have been able to accept the fact that I am different but okay.
Yeah, at 14 I was committed to a psychiatric hospital, immediately forced to take thorazine, whose effects I would describe as a bunch of pretty uncomfortable side effects. What a lot of bullshit this schizopheric crap. I n the hospital, I saw real schizophrenic , people who were suffering and who did not describe their condition as if they were making a documentary on their state. They WERE CAUGHT IN IT; they did talsk BOUT their conditions; they lived it. As worst, I acting like a timid jerk at that time, and still am to a point.
I have similar trauma from the mental health/psychiatric community, and I agree. I talked about things I never should have, and didn't share so much that I should have-- so many things, my sensory issues as just one example, weren't things I ever mentioned because they were normal for me. My confusion, angst, and being an actual product of abuse are the things I shared. It led to much harm.
I think thought broadcasting can also be a sign of OCD/anxiety. I was pretty self-conscious about my music taste in high school. I worried about music leaking from my headphones. If people weren't close enough to hear it, I worried people could somehow tell I'm listening to weird music. Sometimes I'd also play weird music in my head or hear it as an intrusive thought. I'd worry people can tell I'm thinking about weird music.
Definitely I am the same. I have ocd anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Do you get paranoid but are able to talk yourself out of it? It’s hard but I can tell myself to calm down usually. I had a really bad episode of it that last a week. Certain things trigger my ocd and then I can’t stop obsessing over it and it causes so much anxiety
@@kristymarie6065 For me anxiety in general or being too bored triggers intrusive thoughts and OCD. When I get deeply into a hobby I find my OCD symptoms get reduced.
@@bunnyteeth365 I’m the same and I’m just not figuring that out. Are you on meds?
@@kristymarie6065 No meds at the moment. Just distracting myself.
@@bunnyteeth365 is it working for you? I’ve had intrusive thoughts off and on for 15yrs. Last week they got pretty bad they come and go usually worse during higher anxiety. Any other tips? Or just distracting? My dr gave me Prozac but I have yet to take it
I've had schizophrenia since around the age of 8, which is also when I began developing GAD and started having anxiety attacks and was having bad PTSD attacks. I remember I started having bad nightmares and became paranoid of windows and going out in public because there were people who wanted to kidnap me because I was "special". I had massive thought broadcasting and I thought because I was aware that other people "could read my mind" that a group wanted to kidnap me. I use to see people in the yard and started hearing people having meetings in the vents. My parents dismissed these as an "over active imagination". I'm resentful towards them for not taking my symptoms seriously and now having to go through everything as an adult. Please don't ignore symptoms in your child or yourself. Getting professional help is the best thing you can do.
What is your current medication regimen?
Try not to be too mad at your parents. They probably didn't think you were getting sick. Now, if there are a lot of schizophrenics in your family and their symptoms start out similar to yours and your parents know about them then I would be mad at them ( your parents)
@@collygodbod7012 I have 2 cousins with schizophrenia, but they developed it in their teens and both abused drugs as well which probably didn't help. It's assumed that I've had it since kindergarten, which is when I first started reporting bizarre symptoms. But coming from a young child, symptoms can sound like a wild imagination. Onset in children isn't very common, and my parents wouldn't of medicated me regardless. A counselor wanted me medicated for depression and anxiety in grade 11 and my parents said no. They didn't want me medicated. So they prayed for my recovery instead... prays don't fix psychosis.
@@DeeKate Have you tried hydroxizin for nightmares? Is your PTSD C-PTSD?
Did you try rTMS on DLPFC-R therapy for PTSD?
This is happening to my friend, all about kidnapping, secret organisations etc. I won't say more, but it us very similar. She refuses to see a doctor, and I am trying to get her to do so. It's hard.... X
For anyone comparing symptoms in the start to what you may or may not have:
1) She told you NOT TO DO THAT! (lol)
2) Most of these symptoms are consistent with other illnesses, except the "experiencing sounds and noises that arent there" and "religious/occult obsession". In fact, ADHD has most of the first symptoms listed **to include** the sleep disorders and the mood lability.
Just thought you may want to have an example of a disorder that is NOT schizo-affective or schizophrenic that shares many of the same hallmarks.
Of what mental illness thought broadcasting can be a symptom of other than schizophrenia ?
Sorry for bad English .
People with ADHD also tend to be disproportionately interested in the occult.
This interest does not have any direct or certain relationship with schizophrenia, people who do intense spiritual practices do often experience changes in perception - that often match with unknown facts to the person about the real world - what is not normal is that the things experienced are scary, internally created, often, intrusive… etc. Most people who are interested in this would say “go to a therapist” in case another is having these experiences.
@@mikekaze7175 I'd like to know too
@@mikekaze7175 ocd I have thoughts like that their a form of intrusive thoughts
Schizophrenia isn't the only illness that has hallucinations as symptoms
Thank you so much for making this channel. I am a doctor who developed schizophrenia age 30 but i was prodromal for many years. I am so glad this channel exists. I have not heard schizophrenia explained in this much depth before . When i was a patient i felt i was treated very badly. I was expected to shut up and just take the drugs. No one tried psychology on me which in the end was more effective than drugs alone. I think many psychiatrists can treat those with schizophrenia as an object and be unwilling to deal with the person suffering. This makes it harder to accept the diagnosis. Thank you so much for what you are doing. Please keep doing it. You are so brave!
As are you Dr. Super brave.
Schizophrenia doesn’t come from a broken home.
@@laurieberry162 what? Your reply has nothing to do with this person’s comment..
I believe that schizophrenia is an auto immune condition in the brain. Caused by Non-Cytolytic enterovirus.
she means you talked be talked out of it, which is true, sadly...@@DannyD-lr5yg
My son had every single one of these symptoms prior to his diagnosis. It began 8 years ago and slowly progressed into schizophrenia. His first episode was this last summer and was hospitalized. Thank you so much for this video. Im just learning all of this and it’s quite overwhelming and heartbreaking to see your child go through this. But there is hope! He is better , and with time , I know he will have a very active and productive life ahead.
I have a question Did they diagnose him with schizophrenia when he was hospitalized or did they first diagnose him with phycosis? A family member was recently hospitalized for the same symptoms and he was diagnosed with phycosis.
@@Isa-tw1ly yes they didn’t diagnose him correctly, in the hospital. I believe in order to be diagnosed with schizophrenia your symptoms must be 6 months or longer. By the time he went in the hospital he had suffered with hallucinations and delusions for over 6 months actually it had been almost a year. It was not until we saw someone out of their network, was when he was properly diagnosed. He doesn’t have insurance due to being out of work for 3 years, so I decided not to go to a government subsidized facility. They tend not to be the best care. Unfortunately that’s the way it works.
Something is going down with my 25 year old son
He also can’t keep a job and has no insurance and was recently hospitalized over thanksgiving 2022
All they said was he was flat, when he left it was chronic depression , anxiety and social anxiety
I think it’s schizophrenia or bipolar but they won’t tell me crap as his mother because he’s 18+ and that’s all he’ll tell me too
I guess we’ll see how this unfolds
I hope there’s light at the end of the tunnel like your kid
how old was he when he started having the first symptoms?
@@NF40375when I didn’t get help, it turned into a couple of years of not knowing what was going on. Just so you know, I am not aware of how it would be for someone who tries and tries to find work, it can get very hard unless the root is handled.
I have learned 18 years later the signs weren’t even known about.
Lauren I don't have schizophrenia, I have ASD and ADHD. I watch your channel to raise my awareness about other mental health conditions and because I like your personality. But I just want to tell you one thing. Your story about standing behind the couch. You should not be embarassed really. It is your friend who should be embarassed that they went on with the movie when you were having a crisis over there 😟
Right!? I wonder how they didn't have the idea to check in with her (and if they did, to be more thorough) when she just stood behind the couch! That would have worried me, I'm pretty sure I couldn't have just moved on before making sure she was okay.
They had no clue. Even psychiatrists on that couch would notice nothing.
@@Burevestnik9M730 I am not a psychiatrist but someone standing behind the couch the whole movie sounds pretty alarming to me. They just didn't care.
My husband’s brother did this early on. We would try to talk to him, “snap him out of it”, gently nudge him, etc. Nothing worked. In fact we just thought he was playing around with us at first. He was 19-20 at the time and we weren’t much older. Most people wouldn’t know what to do- we certainly didn’t.
@@Burevestnik9M730 Oh wow that is the story... But I didn't mean they should recognize Lauren is having a prodrome. I think her behaviour was odd enough to warrant a reaction. Like comforting her, offering her other activity, walking her home or maybe just letting her know she is accepted even if she couldn't participate in movie watching. Definitely not ignoring her.
my god, I got so scared of that glitch at 2:49 I thought I'm hallucinating
Omg you saw that too!? I thought I was crazy.
Had to rewatch it in 0.25x speed Just to be sure
ME TOO
LOL same
I didnt even. Notice it.after.going back...looked to me like a she sliced in a segment that had a goof.
I'm just now finding this channel. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 28, and a lot of these issues came up way before then. As a child, everyone seemed to think I was going to be a genius. I had top grades, was tied for the highest test scores on the "practice SAT" tests in the county, and was in the Gifted and Talented classroom program in our school. Around late middle school, things fell into chaos. It started with the loss of focus, loss of interest, and social awkwardness. Then I was taking less care of myself, and paranoid, and finding new obsessions that my friends were a bit wary of. There were many years of sleep disturbances, sensory disruptions, and disordered thinking before I finally got help. It was not even my first psychotic break. I had actually had many of them, but was only treated for depression and anxiety at the hospitals. It was not until I showed up at the Mayo clinic with gashes all over me claiming that I "could not feel anything" and that I was a vampire that the first steps of a genuine diagnosis fell into place. I remember being asked to take a long written test. The psych doctor said "You scored really high in the schizophrenia section. Since you're in distress right now, we want to do more testing and therapy when you get out of here." They did, and I ended up with therapy and medication (after much trial and error) that finally started making a difference for me.
How are you doing now ?
Awe, when she was recalling awkward social situations I can hear the pain in her voice. I'm so glad she is thriving now. 💗
It cripples me when I remember my psychotic episode. My life reduced to a joke. It’s incredibly painful to experience embarrassment in front of your peers and friends.
I used to hear my name being shouted everywhere. I wasn't aware it was a sign I would develop psychosis 4 years later.
You're so brave sharing your stories of social situations.
Thank you Lauren🙏🏻
I hear that all the time!!!! Sometimes I hear my name shouted! Usually a male voice, and it startles me. My grandma was schizophrenic. Now I'm worried.
@@SolSkinn If I hear my name being called now I use mindfullness to bring me back to the present moment.
If you're scared about developing schitzophrenia and you do not have it, there is an underlying fear that needs addressed there.
Fears can sometimes be hereditary and passed down through generations, similar to trauma. Often they can be resolved by behaviour practices such as CBT. A professional therapist can take you through these step by step. Therapy can also offer so much more.
Finally, advice I would've given to myself while I was hearing my name being shouted would be to go sober and change your environment.
Good luck Heather😌
@@layotheleprechaun thank you for the reassurance. I'm not so afraid of being schizophrenic, my grandma was just a lovely person. I am more afraid because when I was a child, she was hospitalized for it. In the 70s, treatment was scary. My grandma later told me about some things done to her in the hospital. It's terrifying! It is hard to rationalize treatment now compared to then.
I’m 17 going 18, my parents are both schizophrenic, they met while in therapy, my mom’s brother as well suffers from the same illness. A few times myself I have experienced this, that for a split second i would hear someone shouting my name.
I have experienced thinking people have called my name but not lately, as in years. Something else even more common that also thankfully hasn't happened since before(?🤔) 2018, I know especially as a kid/teen, I'd be afraid of a very particular male voice that I'd think about late at night.
I was diagnosed with early onset skitzophrenia as a child and have lived with it all my life. I would have really loved this kind of channel when I was younger! You're doing a wonderful thing for other people with mental illness!❤👏👍
I sometimes experience rare visual hallucinations and freezing, as well as some paranoia that people are plotting against me. Turned for medical help after I realized that these might be psychotic symptoms along with depression, and I hope I will never develop a full-blown schizophrenia thanks to it. I'm 25 now
Are you in a stressful home life?
@@mgray999 No, the home life is okay. But I had some stress in the past, think it might have had some negative influence on mental health
Wow. you just basically gave a clinical explanation to my youth. I have Schizophrenia and Autism. I almost want to now grieve for what could of been, if just some adult or authority/clinician just stepped in and took a real interest as to what was going on. Instead, everyone was just happy to ignore, or shift me away.
Ohh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Such is life. I guess at least, at 44, the last 5 years I found a wise elder, and true friend, who helped me to enjoy life today.
I BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL IN 1993.. AGAIN IN 2014.. AGAIN IN 2018..I AM BETTER NOW...I HAD NO FRIENDS..IN SCHOOL....I WAS A LONER...ALL BY MYSELF...IN HIGH SCHOOL.... SINCE THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN UNTIL HEAD START..UNTIL GRADUATION FROM HIGH SCHOOL....I NEVER HAD NO GIRLFRIEND... NOBODY WOULDN'T DATE ME ALL MY LIFE.....I STILL DON'T HAVE NOBODY NOW...ALL THE STRUGGLES YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH I DONE HAD ABOUT THE SAME ONE'S...I CRY.A LOT...TOO...I CRIED A LOT...I MEAN CRIED A LOT... THAT IS DO TO MY ILLNESS....BUT I AM FINE NOW..
Biggest factor, if you do the research, is less sleep. Insomnia is reported in most first case psychosis episodes. Which means if you always had good sleep, you wouldn't get diagnosed.
This video made me very emotional. Although I don’t have schizophrenia, I have severe OCD and anxiety and I relate to the isolating feeling of being outcasted by others and not being able to interact normally with other people. Thank you for telling your story and I wish you the best.
I can also relate. But I am not sure if the social awkwardness is the symptom of the illness or the illness is the consequence of being or feeling outcast..
OCD? Then make an effort to concentrate instead of surfing on the OCD label,
@@appleturnover519 I’ve been diagnosed by psychiatrists and psychologists with ocd and anxiety multiple times in my life. I don’t self diagnose lol.
Mhm I don’t know if I’m in starting phase of schizophrenia I find my self just say there worrying if I’m having a delusion or if a voice is going to appear I hope it’s just ocd and do you get derealisation as if you’re separated from everything
Try to concentrate? Do you know even a thing about ocd? Ocd people concentrate wayyy too much on things which you don't need to concentrate on. For me it was hygiene and calorie counting. I was obsessed with both. And used to do that all the time. I took medications and now it's much better. So yeah it's nit just some label it's an actual disease. Our brains are wired differently. There's literally biomarkers for it
While I can’t pin it down, my prodromal phase started very young! I was very apathetic and it’s still there! I thought and felt my grammar school peers were reading my body language and knew what my thoughts were! I was pathologically shy and became the designated weirdo. It was theorized that my high school peers , and some who I went to grammar school with as well, thought I was being arrogant and was too good to talk with them. One person even said to my face that I was a social wimp. I felt very defective, incapable of being accepted. It felt like I was missing some neurotransmitters, or at least some neurons weren’t firing at all or improperly. This happened in the town I grew up in and while I do visit the town to see my mother, but I have never felt comfortable in that town. With each step it feels like I have no business being there, even to visit. Okay, my thoughts are getting a little tied up up so I am stopping, but my apologies to those who showed me some kindness there, but I never there were many!
I had the same exact experience in school. I was extremely shy and awkward, but people thought I was too good to talk to them. I felt no one could understand me, including myself. Also, I get super anxious when I have to visit my home town, I feel like I’m not invited back and everyone there is judging me. That’s why I moved to overseas and started “fresh”, but as we all know you can’t escape yourself, your mind, no matter where you go.
When I first was diagnosed with schizophrenia I started watching your videos, and it has helped me a lot ❤ Thank you ❤
I love you
Hey, I think it's awesome that you reach out for information and support. I know that can be difficult. Keep going :)
❤️🌻 ❤️
Do u have negative symptoms too?
It has me too. I was also diagnosed wrong with bipolar 2 with mania and psychosis. No social skills and my abilities to perform were nob existent and lacking. Thanks for these videos
@@assadazimi576 malayali ano
I never knew schizophrenia had these sorts of symptoms leading up to it. I can say from personal experience that a lot of these sound like me, but I just had depression and anxiety. Obviously, the average person can't make a diagnosis based on this video, but these are all pretty good general warning signs that a person is going through some sort of difficulties, even if it's just general social anxiety.
Same. I‘ve got Depression and severe anxiety and there are hell of a lot symtpoms which overlap. I guess the negative Symptoms of shizophrenia are present in a lot of mental illnesses
I have been diagnosed with "borderline" schizophrenia, have been on two different antipsychotics. I have definitely experienced what you described as thought broadcasting, and it was extremely difficult to function at work when experiencing that. I had my very first psychotic episode in high-school also, and looking back I know it was related to the fact that I had tried/experimented with different drugs, and schizophrenia also runs on both sides of my family. I have not had any symptoms for at least three years now. I am 33. I think the number 1 contributing factor to my mental stability is my sobriety. I finally completely stopped smoking marijuana and that was the hardest habit for me to give up. I realize now that marijuana just doesn't work well with my brain chemistry and almost always leads to some kind of mental disturbance whether its a panic attack or paranoia or a full blown episode. Smoking pot was the last thing I gave up because it is supposedly harmless, and maybe for some people it is. But for me, its never a good idea. Thank you so much for sharing this, and for creating a space for others to share also.
A lad I went to school with had psychosis and it’s amped up to the max when he smokes weed ive always believed it’s harmless and I think for most it is but for others like you said it can make things work if it just doesn’t match up with the way your brain works I’ve had a few times I’ve felt this feeling this last year and am lookin to give it up soon but it’s hard even though I know it’s no good for me
Did it go away after stopping smoking & if so, how long & was it without meds?
@@JJHardman1 Smoking weed increases the chances of experiencing psychosis or developing a psychotic disorder. The research is pretty solid. More people need to know, since most are misled into thinking weed is relatively harmless.
@@headscrewoff5674 I can't fully speak but I have had episodes/panic attacks from smoking weed. Never had issues prior to the first episode. After that it was everytime I smoked I had issues but I was able to control it(sometimes barely). I won't smoke weed anymore because of that. My mental stability is stronger now so my resistance is higher but it's not something I'd ever do again. I imagine it will lesser symptoms but won't make them go away
@@headscrewoff5674 I spiraled into horrible anxiety/depression from weed last year.
The first time I took weed I became absolutely paranoid. Since then, I only had 2 really good experiences after smoking/edibles. Not worth it for what I went through last year.
I think if u have anxiety, you should be very, very careful with weed consumption. The immediate effect might be fine, but the next day?? Yeaaaa. Just doesn’t work for our brain chemistry imo and exacerbates symptoms overall even if calming you in the moment
I wanted to add.
While the interest in religion can be a warning sign, I experienced it as very positive.
Since then I have been a much more spiritual person, and it and other things have given a lot of meaning to my experience with psychosis.
They are using mental health to attack religion it seems..
I personally think alot of mental health issues might be linked to paranormal stuff
Luckily I have like none of the stuff going on that she said, at least in a notable or meaningful way.
I've always undersucceeded so its hard to gage, I know I have ADD though and likely some kind of issues
@@helpabrothawithasubisaiah5316 I agree. I experienced psychosis (the main thing was hearing voices, but they weren't random, they were intelligent) after the first time I prayed in a decade. It was nuts. I had pictures of spirits i accidentally caught that looked horrifying (and anyone i showed could confirm....they creeped everyone out, on top of evps I showed others, my mom doesn't even believe in that stuff and shed hear weird noises and get freaked out...) ,was into occult but got out at that time because of it. Getting back into religion is the only thing that helped. I'm more mentally stable than I've been in years. Prayer/the church is what helped me and dropping all of the occult I had been messing with, from my experience, that stuff is no good for your mental health and opens you up to things you don't want to deal with. Symptoms got better and my mental health got better the more I pursued religion.
I'm not saying every instance is paranormal/demonic, but it definitely can be and can mimic a variety of mental health issues. Sometimes, people need meds, but sometimes, people need Jesus. I expect people might look at this and not believe that's what it was, but it is what it is. Can't deny my experience and what brought me out of that mess.
One thing that I’ve learned is many mental illness have so many different symptoms. Like ten people with the same diagnosis can all have different symptoms an$pd experiences.
That’s because the common denominator is childhood trauma
And ten people with the same symptoms can have ten different diagnoses!
@@picklep9812 @Pickle P an even more common denominator being that all of these diagnosable people are humans with brains
Probability and statistics will do almost whatever you want, but they won't suck you off. Be kind to the data, as kind as you are to yourself.
For years I thought I just had a really bad depression that wouldn't go away. I did have a depression but I never really wanted to think that it was something more serious. I remember sitting in my mom's car on multiple occasions and think to myself 'maybe I have schizophrenia' and then I would push away that thought, even though I struggled more with other symptoms that aren't necessarily connected to depression. I kind of lost the ability to feel my body and I felt physically bigger than other people, not taller or bigger in a body-type-of-way but just enlarged somehow, which led to disordered eating where I would go weeks without really eating anything and then I would compensate by overeating the next few weeks. I couldn't focus on conversations and couldn't really remember or perceive what people were telling me and I became very apathetic and couldn't emotionally connect to people in the moment. But that's the most difficult part, to know if something is caused because of depression (I remember reading that a lot of symptoms I experienced also occurred for people who had struggled with depression for years), and when it crosses that line and becomes indicators of other mental health issues.
Was the "bigger" feeling maybe related to alice in wonderland syndrome ? I feel often like I or my limbs are either very large or very small. Your description of it reminds me of when I feel like I'm towering over everything around me, usually when I'm in public places, it can feel dizzying and is a big reason that I hunch over as badly as I do
@A/X I experience that too. It might be from depersonalization-derealization disorder. I don't have a formal diagnosis but I relate to most of the symptoms and how people describe it.
You should ask your doctor or look up Alice in wonderland syndrome!
When I was younger I always thought there was cameras watching me, people can hear my inner thoughts and would hear my name sometimes in random places but nothing has happened since then🤔
This was me too, I was paranoid of being judged so much, I actually thought people could hear my thoughts
Yeah bro. Same exact situation. I also had some extremely troubling behaviors around that age. A lot of violent and secretive tendencies that somehow just never reemerged
Thank you for this video. I'm 28 and finally started seeing a doctor for my mental issues a couple years ago. I've been experiencing thought broadcasting since my teenage years. I nearly burst into tears when you started talking about it. I haven't had a psychotic episode yet, but I've had psychosis. I'm so scared. I don't want to have a psychotic episode where I hurt someone.
Psychosis and a psychotic episode are the same thing, and it is a harmful stereotype that people with psychosis are violent
Just know so many of us have experienced the same type of things, You are not alone.
@Lawrence Connor Hey buddy! Cool channel Wow, JOE BIDEN WON BABAY!
😜💊👽👍
❤️❤️
I think you need to do a video on autoimmune encephalitis and other illnesses that could possibly present like schizophrenia, as well as the other neurological problems often associated with schizophrenia.
@Lawrence Connor yes sir.
That sounds like a good idea! They're going to need to do a bit more serious research on it, though. Cause they're not professionals and Lauren doesn't have first-hand experience with it..
@@dyawr True, and science in general needs to do more research on this.
That is really a good suggestion.
I would be so happy to hear about that! Also, the relationship between mild traumatic brain injury and onset of psychosis...
Thank you for sharing! My mom have schizophrenia and her experience was similiar to yours. I'm 34 and don't have it, the physcologists always said "If you'll get it you will notice between the ages 13-30". I'm terrified that my children will get it though, I'd say that every generation of my moms family had it, although they labeled it as "insaine" back then.
My 13 year old son have depression and had a period of hallucinations when he was 12, we sought help and the psycologist said it was angst and not schizophrenia. He is on antidepressants and all of his symtoms are gone, but I'm still worried ofcourse.
Mom s fam of mine had 3.
I have been in the schizoaffective bubble for 20 years now, as I am 40 now, and I feel as though I am going through this ALL OVER AGAIN. I am so glad your channel has gotten so big. I remember when you first started. Gives me hope! This life with this illness is one giant lonely depressing mess after the other if you don't have people who are caring and understanding around you.
i like the way lauren speaks so clearly in her videos as well ive got the same diagnoses as both of you but you know you probably get about 5 mins total peace everyday enbrace these fleeting moments make them more bigger and accentuate the inner peace enjoy while its around imagine lauren as the only one of us thats got schizo affective disorder for that half an hour while she talks so concisely and with great confidence and tell yourself you can be as good as her free your mind from all the backchatting voices find the peace and quiet bless mate just showing agreement and concern just in case times get hard
This is so off-topic and not important but your hair is looking especially lovely in this video! :)
Agreed, I love it :)
quit hitting on her freak
@@societalmenace7646 It’s “freaky” to hit on people? I thought that was normal- that’s how the human race propagates.....
@@societalmenace7646 hi, did you notice that the OP of this comment has a woman's name? Something tells me this isn't simping 🤔.
It's called a compliment, people pay them to one another because it feels good, you should try it sometime...
@@societalmenace7646 it isnt hitting on her, the op just thought the lady's hair was pretty-?
Your haircut looks so great on you, it compliments your face so well!
Like others have stated : it's very interesting to see the things that are common between autism (which I deal with) and schizophrenia. For us too, symptoms are worse when we experience stress and/or we are tired. I really like your videos, you are really good at explaining stuff. :-)
My grandpa had Schizophrenia and because of the way it is often attached to things in media I had a hard time understanding. Your content is really helpful to me!
I totally relate, I went from honor roll grades to failing out of high school , also I went through the diagnosis stuff, first they said depression then bipolar then finally schizoaffective
And all the social stigma, patriarchal misogenist isolation, family disgrace, denial and blame sure helped a whole bunch. Lol
What kinds of things do you do to help cope. My son is socially isolated. Doesn’t work. Lives alone. Diagnosed schizophrenia and bipolar , depression with psychotic features. He’s 24.
@@traceymarshall4295I joined a choir and a gym and used the experience of complete isolation to do things that I wouldn't have done if I had to keep up with a bunch of friends. Getting to know a pet very well helped. Triathlon and cycling s very good for loners. Everyone in those events are loners.
If not physical at least get into walking and being outside. Some ideas. I also took the time to read only what I wanted to. That has paid off down the line but I also had two degrees by the time I became overwhelmed by Schizoaffective Disorder so I was aware of the possibility of the reason for reading only what I wanted would be of use to me in some way. Reading is our experience.
@@traceymarshall4295 I'm 50 and have these various spectrum disorders from probably from upbriginging, environment and genetics. I pretty much had zero social interaction my whole life. I sit behind a computer and make barrels of $$$$. :lol:. I do work out like an Olympian because I'm obsessed with my my health and disease. I weigh foods to a fractional ounce.
I've not been to a doctor in 30 years. Have trust issues.
Lately I realized how miserable and wasted my life is. Probably not long for this earth.
@Geoffrey Harris I am not sure how typical I am :lol:.
All of the symptoms listed for the prodromal phase of schizophrenia, with the exception of religious fixation, are also symptoms of narcolepsy. Many people with narcolepsy are first misdiagnosed with depression or schizophrenia.
@A/X
yes..you're on to something
The neurochem imbalances is interplay of changes in brain structure, metabolism (which in turn affects brain circuit functioning), the reflection of changes in neurochem - along with hormonal signaling - and finally the change in outward action (behaviour as clinicians call it).
I don't think that Schizophrenia and Narcolepsy originate from the same cause, however diseases can come with a lot of similar impairments individually that work similarly in the body and manifest themselves that way. A lot of it is just genes, many of the associated diseases originate at different times in life, and they all have specific patterns that we can label as a sort of continuum of particular symptoms. The reason they seem so related is that they involve a lot of the same processes
@A/X narcolepsy is a neurological disorder that rises usually after you get really sick! The brain starts getting attacked by your immune system, or something along those lines. H1N1 was a big one for a lot of narcoleptics. I trace my symptoms back to pneumonia!
I wouldn’t call myself obsessed with religion, I just wanna be Jewish 😂
@@doctorjellybelly Hmmm.... I don't think this is clinically proven🙁 I can't seem to find any reliable pre-clinical studies for that statement - Would you mind sharing where you read/learned that? Preferably peer reviewed articles
I was recently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder type: bipolar, and after a short two month of therapy I quit going because the medication they kept giving me zombified me. (I also believed the psychologist didn’t know what he was talking about.) I never had a a full on psychotic episode till later when I thought I could self medicate with marijuana. Worst mistake of my life. I took a large amount and had such a terrible experience that unfortunately these exact precautions are my everyday life now. I can no longer use marijuana as it triggers psychosis episodes and my hallucinations have been on the rise since then. I believe I have many people living in me/through me, but I feel as long as I don’t give in or tell anyone it’ll all go away. This video helped me a lot and it help sway me a little more to prospectively seek help. Thank you!
I had some of these things including freezing in place and perception changes, I could see people talking but couldn’t quite here them clearly. I couldn’t feel my body. I DIDNT have schizophrenia BUT I was on the verge of having a traumatic flood of memory and I had a psychosis. It only lasted a year. I thought for sure I was becoming schizophrenic but once I remembered everything it all just went away. I’m so glad your making this content because I’m sure your helping so many people. It’s traumatic having people look at you when your trying to figure out if they are really talking or standing at a certain distance. That look of “ your scaring me” it’s such a sad time.
So you had psychosis and it lasted a year?
I've never heard of the prodrome phase, useful video!
😢a lots of these symptoms appear with my sister Saba long ago...but no one thought that it was schizophrenia.
Until I decided to take her to see a doctor 😢😢
I heard voices once about 10 years ago and it was terrifying. I didn't hear words I just knew they all felt I shouldn't exist, that I should never have been created. It was like social anxiety times a million.
This should be mandatory Freshman year in High School. Make this a requisite for graduation. This would have helped my son, myself, my spouse and my other children on how to deal with this and Pin point exactly what was going on with my son. He had to go through psychosis before we got him help.
thank you most of these prodromal signs were my son. Everything you said resonates with what I saw in him before he became really ill. I started watching your videos from the time he was first sectioned. My son is stable now and getting the right medication and slowly building his life up again even though he has changed as a person. Thank you for the work you do here.
I've always been the odd one too. Hearing somebody talk about things that I'm afraid to say out loud is comforting. Thank you so much for making these videos. You are an inspiration.
You described my social anxiety the first half of the video. Even now I experienced being invited out and got super quiet around people I wasn't comfortable with and at some point sat completely alone even though people tried to engage with me. It was just me thinking that there is something wrong with me. However, doing the work I realize that there is nothing wrong with me. I am just like everyone else. Still slowly coming out of my shell. This topic has had my interest because my birth dad, who is no longer in my life developed schizophrenia. It wasn't noticed until his mid 30's. So, I thought maybe I did too. Learning more and educating myself has made me realize that I don't. Thank you for sharing. It helps everyone have a better understanding of how this mental illness affects people, and to have compassion.
Glad you mentioned you were diagnosed with different illnessess at first. Often mental health problems have overlapping symptoms and it can take time to sort out illnesses if there is any at all
Schizophrenia is just a label for "having these symptoms" like thought broadcasting, hallucinations, hearing voices. There used to be a symptom called "flattened aspect" meaning no emotions, or something like it. And if you didn't have that, they could say, well, that is not schizophrenia. So this girl would not have schizophrenia, as she is perky.
That takes me back, I was also acting strangely but no one knew me well enough to tell the difference, I tended to isolate myself, I became very paranoid about the intentions of others and my College work was being neglected even though I passed the course. I was described as delusional and out of touch with reality by staff who was concerned about me being around other students (I’m not violent btw) but I did mention I might have to defend myself because I thought my class mates wanted to kill me, I got kicked off the next course for my problems, mainly I didn’t go for a month after ending up completely delusional and stayed on the farm where I thought it was safer. I later on developed Schizophrenia and was diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists with Paranoid Schizophrenia, honestly I lost the diagnosis once and ended up in a psych ward in September 2020 where another psychiatrist would diagnose me with schizophrenia for the last time.
What is your current medication regimen?
@@Burevestnik9M730 I used to be on antipsychotic injections but they were too painful so I’m going back to oral medication to discuss how much is an appropriate dose for me, I don’t think it’s a good idea to mention how much or which antipsychotic as everyone is different. Personally I would cope med free if it wasn’t so easy to slip back into paranoid delusions.
I had the same issue and I had just moved but I remember telling my friends that I couldn’t sleep or I was waking up hella early in the morning I thought it was just nerves bc I was moving but than I ended up moving with my dad and lost about 10 lbs and my stepmom would get mad at me bc I would just stay in the room doing nothing and during this time I had got my phone taken away so I couldn’t even contact old friends. Two years later went into psychosis and got diagnosed with schizophrenia
@@Ashley-Bradderz Here you can calculate equivalent dosages
psychopharmacopeia.com/antipsychotic_conversion.php
I also got scared of everyone and I thought my flatmates would kill me. I turned up to my brother's house at 6am thinking I was supposed to come and hide from a war. He was quite shocked.
I am extremely grateful for any individual that has the courage to talk about their mental health openly, particularly with the stigma that does, unfortunately, still exist. If you're comfortable sharing, can I ask what you were experiencing in your mind in those instances where you'd go to a party and not want to talk to anyone (or any other analogous thing)? I very much so also withdraw from social situations because I feel like I don't know what to do with my face and/ or body and am almost always solely preoccupied with my own thoughts. This was sort of pedantic, but I often wonder what others are internally experiencing when they appear to be exhibiting similar physical behavior.
I love you
What stigma. Lol
For me with social anxiety panic and agoraphobia, it’s like what you say with being in your own thoughts/fear, I can’t focus on what they’re saying or I over appear to listen, my personality is either flat or I’m perceiving that it is, and I feel panic, fear, and overawareness. Over aware and sensitive to stimuli are big for me. If I’m really uncomfortable it feels like a bad acid trip
@@dackbowland1876 -are you really implying that there's -*-no-*- stigma against people with debilitating mental health conditions?- you were making fun of a typo don't mind me.
I'd like to answer your question, even though I don't have schizoaffective disorder - if that's okay, I've had very intense and chronic anxiety since a young age, and I can kind of speak to the internalized feelings I've had during social awkwardness that I'd imagine a lot of people struggling with social awkwardness feel too.
I would often have thoughts like you're saying - not knowing "what to do" with my face or body, confusion on if I was making the right faces or having the correct reactions to what people were saying (i.e. am I being too enthusiastic? / not enthusiastic enough? etc), I also used worry about where peoples eyes were looking - are they looking at a part of my face or body where something is unusual or something I should fix? (i.e. is my hair really messy today? / are they noticing the weight I've gained? etc) and also with where my eyes are looking - am I making enough eye contact? or am I making too much eye contact? (that was a big one for me). Other usual questions I'd ask myself is if my voice "sounded alright", or if it "sounded odd". Another huge component was if what I was saying didn't make any sense, or if it sounded dumb, or if it would effectively "end" the conversation, that there was nothing someone else could respond with to what I said. I would nervously laugh, and constantly try to make even dull conversations overly happy and laughter filled because I thought it would communicate that I was "enjoying" talking to them, but it would just come off as ingenuine.
And the other half of the time I was replaying past negative experiences before I'd try to go up to new people to talk or engage in conversations ("oh I'm not feeling social right now, this is all going to go horribly", "I don't feel like I'll say anything funny just like last time", "this person will see me and immediately not like me, I'm POSITIVE" etc)
The last thing I'd always feel or think was that "I just wasn't meant to be social" or that "something was *too wrong* with me to be social, and people would realize that they're wasting their time by talking to me. That I had nothing of interest or value to add to a conversation.
Essentially, when you're socially anxious during a situation, you devote so much brain power and so many mental resources to constantly being concerned with what's "wrong" with you or how a situation might even go "wrong" that hasn't happened yet, that it becomes almost impossible to be present in the moment and correctly or organically engage with someone else. And what I noticed - is that other people didn't notice what I was worried about that was "wrong" with me - but that they VERY much noticed that I could barely pay attention/have appropriate reactions because I was entirely preoccupied with something going on in my head and not with what was happening in front of me.
Thankfully over time I realized, no one really cares about how my eyes or hair or face looks, or how my voice sounds, or any of those things, and even if someone did - it's an extremely momentary thing and why should I be bothered if my physical presentation isn't "perfect" at all times? Here I was often was throwing away conversations and genuine connections with people, because honestly I was too worried that I'd be able to create a genuine connection with someone (because of superficial factors).
I was honestly so happy I overcame like 90-95% of that as I grew up, and now I'm really happy with my social life, I honestly look forward to chances to talk to new people. Truly I'm in disbelief that I wasted so much time worrying about these things, when I actually could've just enjoyed myself and my life the entire time. Such a deceptive and terrible disease anxiety truly is.
I never developed Schizophrenia but I have several other mental health disorders and I can sympathize. I had basically the same experience in high school and college. But almost in reverse. I was overly social, in people's face immediately... and would be that way until I did something that embarrassed me in front of the group. Even while I was talking or acting out... I knew what was coming, but I couldn't stop myself. Then I would be leaning against the wall, or frozen like you talk about. In the corner hiding or turn to alcohol to ease my embarrassment. Eventually I ended up on meds, talking to better doctors, etc... found out I had a brain tumor of all things. I did have phantom smells but that was due to the brain tumor. LOL I had elevated pressure in my head, got on some meds for that and lowered the pressure. Not a cure but I feel a lot better than I did now. You're really good at this!
Thank you for this exceptional video. I'm a mental health professional and have worked in community and acute mental health care for 35 years and have never seen such a professional and well paced, well thought out and excellent video that will, no doubt, help just so many people to open up a conversation. Thank you!
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one who thought others could hear my thoughts!!! I get that feeling all the time!!! Also I smell horrid smells too! They’re awful and I have one smell in particular that gives me ptsd of my past (probably because I smelled it some time when I was younger, before being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder)
I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and shizoaffective and bipolar and complex ptsd and ptsd. Your vlogs are refreshing to know someone else is going through this too. Many blessings to you and your family.💗
Wow a psych file doppelgänger! Lol.
This honestly made me feel so understood. Thank you
Thanks for putting this out. I'm glad you made it through all these hard times
my sister had a psychotic break a few months ago and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. she told me a couple years ago that she thought she had schizophrenia but i didn’t really take it as seriously as i should’ve. everything you’ve pointed out in this phase is exactly how she acted. i wish i knew about it before her psychotic break 😞
This all sounds so difficult and isolating. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You are one of my internet heroes!
Just found your channel. Thank you so much for sharing those personal/embarrassing stories. I know those can be hard to think about sometimes. I really connected with you during those though. Keep making videos 🤟
Thank You for taking the time to create and share this wonderfully informational video ❤️
Wow, that situation you described, with the stiffness at the movie-night, was intense!! Must've been really heavy to go through that, not knowing that you had an illness and there was nothing wrong _with you._ 😕 Hugs! 🙂❤
Yes!
As messed up as this is, I also use to have fear of thought broadcasting so I would "scream" as loud and as terrifying as I could in my mind when I thought others could hear me. I do not so this anymore, but it still makes me chuckle thinking that someone may have heard that and was scared out of their mind so much that they never tried to intrude into someone else's mind again.
You are looking really well rested and put together these day well done.
Thank you so much for being here! You explain everything so clearly. I need to understand for my son.
This was so insightful to watch thank you
This topic absolutely fascinates me, thanks for sharing you're experience
Priceless testimony. You really clarified signs. I can relate to these stages! Thank you
Thank you for making this video. You are helping many people.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and insight! I love listening to you. You inspire me and give me hope. ❤
Bless you, Lauren. Remembering some of my own experiences with the prodrome as you recounted yours almost had me in tears. Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. You have helped so many that are feeling so so helpless.
Thank you so much for your candor and vulnerability. I’ve rarely seen the early stages of schizophrenia discussed
Thank you for being brave and helping others. ❤️
Just randomly came across a video you posted on December 11, 2018. It brought tears to my eyes to hear about your struggles, and how you realized just how resilient you are. I'm so happy to see that your progress hasn't yielded, and, if anything, has steadily accelerated. You're an inspiration; keep it up!
Watching this after my diagnosis is just so eye opening.
Thank You for sharing. You are helping so many others. God Bless You.💞💞💞
Thank you for being so vulnerable ❤️
I just found your channel. As a person who works in the mental health field, your open, honest and candid recounting of your experience is priceless to workers, family and loved ones experiencing mental illness. I will be referring people to your channel as I feel you will provide hope to those who see a mental illness diagnosis as a death sentence. Thank you, and keep up the great work.
Boy do I identify with so much of this. Thanks, Lauren.
I truly appreciate and admire your honesty🌞
the fact that you're objective and open about this is amazing. thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, that sounds so intense to go through without understanding why. Someone I went to school with most of my childhood and through high school suddenly isolated himself.. he was only 22 or 23 when he jumped off of a bridge at high tide, that really shook everyone that was in our class pretty badly. Sometimes I wonder what he went through, so this was really valuable to watch!
I just found your channel. Thank you so much for talking about your experiences, my 13 year old daughter was just diagnosed as being in the prodromal phase of schizophrenia and I want to educate myself on this illness in order to support her.
You are glowing and look absolutely beautiful!! Congrats to you and your new family
Thanks for being so open. It helps bring clarity. This is all too similar to my life. Ive been trying to get help for so long but nothing works. I had a psychotic break due to substance use but it really showed me how all of my thought processes before use were really paranoid and persecutory. I just hope to live a normal life. So damn difficult when youve pushed everyone away.
I really admire you for exposing your struggles and vulnerabilities. I am also very happy that you have support the care you need.🙏🏼
I want to thank you for sharing your experience, it looked like it was very difficult at times to do so! The good you are doing by participating in ending the silence cannot even be measured. Thanks again!
Lauren, you make me feel not so alone in the world. Thank you so much.