Get in My Head: How I Ended Up in a Psych Ward
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2024
- In May of 2019, I landed myself in a psych ward. This is the story of how that happened, and it’s definitely not as simple as it may seem.
As someone with the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder-a severe mental illness where someone experiences mood and psychotic symptoms-psych wards and hospitalizations for mental health issues were always in the cards.
But it was nothing like what I thought it would be.
All I can say is mental health care in America is wild. It's certainly... something. But it's also sometimes quite effective.
Enjoy!
And if you want more vids like this, let me know!
ALL MY LINKS: linktr.ee/schizokitzo
Why I'm Doing This: • Why I'm Doing This | T...
SCHIZOKITZO PROJECT LINKS (AKA WHERE TO FOLLOW ME AND SAY HI):
TH-cam (hi): / schizokitzo
Instagram: / schizokitzo
Facebook: / schizokitzo
Twitter: / schizokitzo
MY OTHER PROJECTS:
The Facebook Page for The Bees™: / therealmadamebee
My Bee Aesthetic Instagram: / beespoke_girl
Disclaimer: I am not a qualified mental health professional. This channel exists for educational purposes, and I do my best to provide accurate and up-to-date information. In order to create content, I combine scientific resources (peer reviewed studies and easy-to-understand articles) and my own personal experiences/advice. I seek to make complicated topics easy to understand, but I am no substitute for a doctor, therapist, or other qualified mental health professional.
#psychward #hospitalization #schizoaffective #mentalhealth #schizoaffectivedisorder #bipolar #schizophrenia #mentalhealthawareness
![ภาพนี้ก็ฮาเหมือนกันนะเนี้ย #2 SS8 [ พากย์นรก MEME.EXE ] | easy boy](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RMhUgxxD49Q/mqdefault.jpg)
Yes that's the sad and scary thing about asking for help: At a time when you're typically least able to express yourself well, you have to be the MOST careful about what you say, because the health care staff don't trust that that's your 'normal' bad state and that you don't need to lose your freedom and privileges in order to get better.
I know people who were sacred to tell their therapists how depressed they really were in case they were carted off to a horrible traumatic psych ward instead of given meds and therapy.
I'm on the opposite side of this. I work in a psych hospital as a security guard, and I'm in a pre-medical psychology program with the goal of becoming a psychiatrist. I'm also a veteran, and know quite a few people who have been placed under involuntary holds. It's always interesting to hear what happens after someone is released, and this is honestly the most positive reflection that I have heard. It honestly blows my mind how ineffective our approach to mental illnesses still is, and the lack of empathy that exists within that system
My dr would tell people they are being released on a day, say he said Monday. Monday would come and the hours in the day would pass and the people,including me, would wait and wait but no discharge. At the end of Monday everyone would ask am I leaving today or not? He would say no Wednesday. Then Wednesday would come, the hours in the day would pass, and people would grow restless and ask the dr at the end of the day, am I going home? The dr would say no no not today Monday. He tried to break his patients. He didn’t listen to a dang word people would say. He wouldn’t even see if someone was allergic to a medication before he’d shoot them up with a 6 month shot. Disgusting fascists!
I figured the positive was important to share. But yes, So little empathy 😔
I've been to the psych ward at least 40 times my new year resolution is to not end up in a hospital.
I'm sorry to hear this you have been through a lot. Would you be willing to share your diagnosis?
@@SteveSmith-nw2xg schizo affective bipolar anxiety panic attacks and depression
That is a complicated mix, hang in there, I'll say some prayers if that's ok.
.+ 16 All Scripture is inspired of God+ and beneficial for teaching,+ for reproving, for setting things straight,+ for disciplining in righteousness,+ 17
Have these retreats helped? Badminton. Croquet, Horseback riding? Cartoons!
I know so many people who went full of hope to medical professionals for help and came away traumatized and mistrustful because the doctor overreacted and got more dramatic about it than the patient. Or denied their usual meds.
I was denied some of mine it was awful. I never want to go back. I was so hopeful
My first hospitalization was in 2000 and it was horrible. My second hospitalization was 2001 and it was just as traumatizing. In 2004 I was hospitalized one last time. Then I went a loooong stretch before my next hospitalization which was 2019. 2019 I made friends in there and had a terrific time, as much as that can be true. Great people can be found in mental wards. I'm just saying. Good luck to you!
How’d you remain stable for so long? Were you just on the right meds or?
@@diegoofthestars a big part of it was meds. Also support at home so never had to worry about housing or food. Mostly medication probably.
@@diegoofthestars also avoiding unhelpful things like drugs, alcohol, and fortunately self harm.
As someone with zero experience with psych wards, it was really fascinating to hear about how you ended up in one. I'm glad that you reached out to get help once you realized you needed it and wanted to get your crap together.
One thing that really struck me was the difference between how they were rushing to try to involuntarily commit you, but made you wait 6 hours the next day to voluntarily commit yourself... that sounds like a system failure of some sort. I wonder how much that actually harms patients further or sets back their progress.
I'm glad that you got some good things out of your stay - like meeting interesting people and journaling and learning about DBT! - even if the medical professionals did things that weren't that helpful. I can 100% see the value in having some time away from your usual life to explore and reflect on your inner thoughts.
Thank you for sharing this, I learned a lot from it!
I'd love to See a video about making friendships/relationships while dealing with mental health issues, because it's huge problem for me❤
Great suggestion! Thanks! ^_^
"That's the thing about self-destructive habits:
They destroy you." 😮😫🤡
It's so obvious when well, but vital to remember during triggers.
Thank you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Looking forward to DBT therapy episode. Sounds like it was really good for you.
It was super helpful!
My friend was in a psych ward 3 times in his life. I don’t think they ever helped, but they did give him some cool stories to tell me and our friends. There were things he’d just tell me privately as we both had our depression bond, and he’d tell me how lonely it was. I remember one time he said he just sat and hugged someone that was non-verbal not exactly responsive but the two of them would just sit quietly and and comfort each other through times of need. The food was fine, and nurses were mostly understanding (even though they had to put up with my friend’s behavior which could be marked as “unusual” by some people) no one was really friends with him outside of me and another girl in our class, and he found comfort in talking to me because I was practically the only person that saw him day-to-day that referred to him properly (people in Russia don’t understand trans stuff at all). The second time he was admitted to a psych ward was after he ran away from home for a few days. He had some hallucinations and voices in his head that people brushed off. I distinctly remember him describing the hospital: “I was hallucinating madly when I was admitted, the whole place was rotten and no one around me looked real, almost zombified. A nurse once came to look at me and I was unwilling to cooperate with her because she just looked like a huge pray mantis to me. Everyone resembled shit and everything was dirty. I wouldn’t talk to anyone for a whole week, only cautiously watching the zombies and rusty rotten walls.” I managed to get a hold of his mom’s number that I could use to call him during lunch breaks when his mom came to visit. He said to me it encouraged him to keep going, since he often forgot about our support and how much we all love him.
The last time he was admitted I wasn’t even aware of. On the night he got out he called our mutual friend and was going off on how he was frustrated on missing an exam we had to take to part-take in a big more important exam at the end of the year (we were all in 11th grade, last year of school so it was pretty important)
He didn’t call me the day he got out, and I know why he didn’t. He’s been dead for 7 months now and I think about him every single day.
Thank you for sharing this, sharing those stories. You’re heard. I wish you the best on your journey, and I hope you have a good rest of your day.
@@SchizoKitzo wishing you the best as well ❤️
I have also been in a psychiatric hospital before. I really needed help and thought, just like you, that if I needed it, why not enter one of these places.
I ended up getting locked there for months.
The only thing I will give to that place is that, even thought i was still a broken girl when I came out, at least I had one very clear goal: To never go back.
I would love to hear more about psych ward❤ You Look amazing Kit! Take care, we love You ❤❤❤
Your story is so inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing it
Thank you for sharing!!!
I can't wait for vid on DBT. Have A Wonderful Weekend Kat❤
Love your content! I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar in 2020. Really hits home
Thank you for sharing! Please do a video about DBT, would love to hear about your experience!
you're so cool! thanks for sharing ur story
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for another video! You are very brave.
At the hospital where I have been hospitalized multiple times voluntarily, they make you wear unisex hospital pyjamas, for the first week at least ugh! And the stay is usually a month long. I have, as a result, become obsessed with cute PJs that have for example hearts or Snoopy on them! I haven’t been in hospital since 2019 ;but i’m grateful for my psychiatrist visits which keep me from needing to go back to the hospital. I’m’so glad you fund therapy that helps.
I grew up in psych hospitals and group homes 13-17 dealing with BPD and bipolar, I kinda learned what they were looking for, I practiced the same coping skills that got you locked up. Last week I went to my first therapy session after 25+ years, even before going in the door I coached myself on what I needed to say and not say so I would be able to walk back out the door, I knew I was not in crisis. Over the past couple years, there were a couple times I should have been hospitalized, but this wasn't one of those times. The therapist practices dbt and gave a referral to a psychiatrist, he suspects bipolar. I am concerned that it might actually be schizoaffective, your videos have clarified some things and made a potential diagnosis less scary. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Honestly this is so inspiring that I would love to share my story eventually. I had been hospitalized twice before the age of 21, and had some interesting experiences.
The more we talk the more normal it will become! Best of luck in whatever you choose, but know your voice is important
Another excellent video! Your videos are inspiring the greater community beyond mental health, like those suffering from physical illness. Your channel, with time, will gain traction in how to live life. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for the thanks of course! I look forward to seeing where the sk project takes me. Taking it day by day, and so far its been wild. I love advocacy! And being an inspiration is a dream, and a goal that I constantly hope for. So thank you for saying what you did. I wish to help as many as possible, and thus inspire as many as I can with the hopes that they too can achieve a content fulfilling life for themselves. Some days I feel like I’m just along on the ride and doing my best. thanks again!
@@SchizoKitzowell 3 videos in and your relatable and voluntary help inspires me. your mission is accomplished
I love your videos! Saudações do Brasil!
Thank you!!!
That's an interesting story, thanks for sharing. Now when I was hospitalized and discharged after 2 months, I was given therapy and just sort of let go, I remember one of the doctors once saying to my mom, have him take meds and he will have "somewhat of a normal life, more or less". I wasn't referred to a therapist at all, I'm not sure how to get one here in Bosnia. I do have to do regular psychiatric control appointments, but that's it, and it's been that way for 16 years now. I am aware of that DBT thing, I know people with borderline personality disorder go through it, and I would love if you could share some of the things you guys learn there. I guess maybe share what you find most helpful there if you can. Thanks for your work Kit :)
It’s always interesting to me how mental health care is in other countries, and I appreciate you sharing part of your story here. I plan on going into depth on what DBT has done for me soon, so stay tuned! It’s always a fun topic to talk about when people ask me what my coping skills are! Thanks again!
Great video i've been there. I just wanna say your face literally went 😏 at 0:26. Absolutely hilarious to me LOL!!
Thanks!
Thank YOU!
You know how to get out of a locked ward? Pull the fire alarm. It makes the doors automatically open.
Thanks
2018 was my first psychotic episode following previous mania. It sucks to lose so much and be so afraid.
8:53 Thankk You Marsha for the Dialectics
🙏
When i went to the hospital voluntarily they also admitted me instantly, but that aside, this dbt thing is something i might want to hear more about.
Yup! I plan on covering it soon, it’s been highly requested so stay tuned!
Great video! I'm doing dbt myself😁😁
It’s awesome right?!
I was just diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder yesterday. I don't know how to feel about it.
Know it’s not the end, and you’re not alone
I'd love any videos about your experience in a psych ward or similar. What to bring, what not to bring, rules outside communications, medication management, quality of doctors and nurses, quality of interactions with other patients, cost, etc etc etc. I'm on the verge of going to a psych ward right now. I'm a US citizen living in Panamá and came to the US a few days ago for that exact purpose. My psychiatrist said I didn't need to go since all of my recent back-to-back episodes had triggers. If I have episodes without triggered then maybe I should go. I feel like I've been here now for weeks and manic the whole time. It's been 3 days since I came here and 2 days manic. So I'm not sure if I should ride it out or what. We'll see. I'm very lucky to have supportive parents I can stay with. I'm 47 with bipolar including psychosis and paranoia. Not SZA though.
The last inpatient treatment I had was proably the most interesting hospitalization I can remember since 1988. My father had died and the family was selling the house. We had a tonacrap to move and it was too much tonacrap and so we even had to sell the tonacrap. I don't know how but someway I became suicidal after the move. Wierd thing was I was living in my car and so I decided to take a drive to Lake Okeechobee contemplating the idea of taking a drug overdose with Paroxitine and Seroquil. Too make a long story short, I was not driving but was in a parking lot downtown, took the overdose with a bottle of coconut/strawberry. After that, I blacked out, wound up in the hospital not breathing, they said. Woke up about nine hours latter while they pulled out a breathing tube. I started to panic, because I was choking on the breathing tube. Two big guys are holding me down and I quickly noticed I was in restraints. Started to catch my breath. In a couple hours I was moved to a drug rehab/psych ward. It was sort of a mix. Women had seperate dorms. The staff was rough. They had some serious problems there because of people going through drug withdrawal. Anyone becoming violent had to be moved out. Small place. Hard bunks. I had to be taken off my Seroquil and Paroxitine because I used them to unlive. The withdrawal symptoms where making me shaky. The food: A line up for chow. What was really so amazing was the way I was mixed up the first three days with hearing people using other languages around me. I latter found out Okeechobee is now home to many Hatian/Dominican people and they like speak Portuguese and Swaheli, which is what was hearing when I landed in that place. God bless the staff there. Learn new things all the time. Love Okeechobee ❤️
Thank you for sharing this, others perspectives are so important. The more the merrier!
You could easily become a model.
I was hospitalized as a teen, where only myself and one other girl were actually mentally ill, and the other kids just had behavior problems. I believe they overmedicated me; I was still in the early stages and only showing mood symptoms at the time... Anyway, I needed to be hospitalized in 2019 but I wasn't. And now I'm really afraid to be some time in the future now that I'm an adult because I really don't know what to expect and I'm terrified that it will be traumatic.
Oh, DBT works wonders.
Not gonna lie, I should've been hospitalized, but my therapist and psychiatrist were slacking off. The moment I heard about your journal, I was thinking about Girl, Interrupted. I'm curious if there's parallels between the psych ward there and the one you visited.
I actually am not familiar with that, but I will check it out as now you have me curious. And yay for another DBT fan!
I have S.A.D as well and in 2022 i ended up 5150 in a hospital almost dead. 6 months later I was released and am better now.
Glad you’re better!
Psych wards in Miami FL suck. The good ones are for voluntary admission only if you get baker acted you go to the shitty ones and you feel claustrophobic as hell. I rather not have smoking privileges and put on a nicotine patch at the good psychwards instead. Miami needs to reform their psych units they suck. Ativan doesn't put me to sleep it just takes away the anxiety and calms me down. I take 4 mgs of Clonazepam a day I have a high tolerance for benzodiazepines.
Last week I was discharged from a psych ward after a 5 week stay last time was in 2008 both times were bipolar, I figure stay on the meds for a few months then go of them
As a fellow Schizoaffective Bipolar type, I have to say you are very brave for making these!
💪 💪 💪
Dear Kit,
Greeting from The Netherlands. My son is in the struggles of something very similar and he has not accepted that his delusions are delusions yet. And he things he has a split personality. Your video's are very helpful to me to understand my son 'reality'.
Could you comment on why you have given the voices names? My son also has done that. And how your relationship with these voices has developed? When do you start giving names, etc.
But, much more impoertant, how did you aquired insight into your condition? You seem to posess very much awareness of how this illness works and amidst of confusing sensations still are aware of your situation?
Did you ever experience like there is a separate entity in you?
I thank you for speeking so openly about this. This helps tremendously. I am open about all the awfull experiences that this illness brings along to a person.
Bye..
My voices told me their names. I’ve named one of them and it’s because he refused to give me a name. Developed…I guess we just kinda got to know each other because they were always there and that’s how it was for years. They were friends so of course we talked all the time and it just kinda happened. Insight…. Well I kind of always knew something was wrong and didn’t know what, so when a doctor told me, I was like huh I guess you’re right and I take my meds as a result. All of this really depends on the person, insight especially. Hope this helps!
@SchizoKitzo
Interesting that you also talk about these voices like they are people, and not just voices. Seems like one part of the brain spontaneously communicates with the dominant part of the brain.
And you never felt like you were possessed, or something like that?
We obviously want to know more about your experience in psych ward!
I got u fam
Did they validate your parking?
I can’t really say that I can relate at all, but it was an interesting story nonetheless!
^_^
ive been in ward and jail...and ever the psych unit at the jail. although i was not guilty of my charge
Me too. Did they torture you as well? They tried to get me to break so I’d just plead no contest. They stripped me naked. Had the girls from the bull pen walk circles around my cell as I’m standing there naked. They threw me in the hole, still naked. They took my mattress, sheet, blanket, and pillow as well. They turned the AC on so high I could see my breath. For the first 3 months in the hole I was only given clothes to go to court. At court someone recognized me and said “you’re him! Bro I ain’t never seen em do anybody like they did you. Break me off some cheese and I’ll be your witness “ I explained they didn’t give me an hour out and couldn’t even make a phone call to get an attorney. In the pen the door window slides open they call my name and ask how I was going to be pleaing. I said not guilty. They canceled my court date took me back to jail beat me and stripped me naked and threw me back in the hole. They would beat me sometimes at least 1 times a week. Nobody would help me. Nobody would stop them. Anyway they did this to me for 6 months straight. Fascists! This was 2001
@@natas12rmi was charged with DUI while in fact I was driving with psychosis. i dont think the jailers cared about my crime but i did get locked in my cell for a week because of a stunt I pulled. its ironic that I get a DUI after I quit drinking years ago
I was in er last night im 43 and a drunk and yet i was kinda hoping to take the tri0 to the ward i miss my vaca
Is there enlighted and effective inpatient Psych care anywhere? Hippocratic oath long since out the window?
I was in a great facility the one time I went. Therapy was super helpful and the other patients were supportive. And yet there were people there saying it wasn’t great and they’d been in better and more helpful facilities that offered more services like daily individual therapy.
Wait what!!¡
Sometimes I forget I have pscho affective
Ever since i got saved by the lord jesus christ i have been trying to fix my schizoeffective.
You remind me a little of Sean Young in the 80s, love your style 🎉
I forget i have Schizoaffective
Lol I have been in the psyche ward like 4 different times
Dbt is the way
2 time
Just commented on your older video on religion, and re-posting here--but had to add in, this bit-- You are self medicating with both alcohol (sugars-dopamine) and with "pain" as it creates cortisol and is part of the amygdala system which is the system most people use (not even aware of their other system--the insula, where manic-depression and schizophrenia stem from). So inducing pains and pleasures of the amygdala in an attempt to get you away from the mania and depression cycle of the insula, you could probably do the same with anxiety and other sugars (maybe eat a Snickers bar instead of having a drink).
Last video: As far as "your inner voice"--just the Insula System (your Subconscious--and yes, probably the cause of your earlier issues too). The subconscious is our "dream maker" and it's goal is to keep us in a state of homeostasis--both body and mind. As our brains evolved, different areas developed. The insula is probably the oldest and developed way before we began "thinking" internally. It is the area that "runs" things in the mind--breathing, heart rate, sleep cycles, dream creations, responding to pain, and trying to keep us in balance.
Looking into schizophrenia and how it can be induced by over-meditation or by traumatic events--pretty much explains that Jesus and Paul were just schizophrenics themselves. Almost every religion is the same. Mohammed meditating in a cave. Joseph Smith meditating. Buddha meditating heavily. It's almost like there is a pattern here. Most people are controlled by the feelings of the amygdala (pleasures/pains--dopamine/cortisol). All addictions are associated with this system (including alcoholism). But if you reduce the dopamine (sugar) or have too much cortisol, this allows you "feel" the Insula system (serotonin/DMT). Sugars cause the mind and heart to be perturbed. When unperturbed, your "heart becomes pure" and you will find God (just your subconscious).
This "God" is the area associated with "virtues" (empathy, goodness, shame, creativity, and dreams). It is not surprising one would hear voices or have spiritual "hallucinations" as this is what people experience when they take DMT or LSD (activating the insula system when they do so). Both schizophrenia and bi-polar disease are connected with the insula system.
I would recommend reading Dr Robert Lustig's "Hacking the American Mind" (a neuro-hormonal doctor). It's all there..."Know Thyself" and "Moderation in Everything" (Greek adages). Knowledge of these two systems will explain a lot in your case. Most manic-depressants end up self-medicating, alcohol or drugs (or sugary foods)--as these just amp up your amygdala system so that you don't feel the depression or experience the mania. The "12 Steps" program is actually taken from Asia--where the goal is to over-come the amygdala system (the Yin in the I-Ching, two broken lines--pleasures/pains) to the find the insula system (the Yang--Contentment). But as you have learned--both systems have to be recognized and kept in control with reason.
Look on back of $1 bill. Reason (Eagle) with War (amygdala) and Peace (insula) in it's claws. Reason also associated with "Awareness" (higher power?) on other side. The question here is whether the "subconscious" is universal or just the older system of the mind before the "pre-frontal cortex" evolved (our language center...). Star Wars blames it on our mitochondria (as these merged with our cells billions of years ago--our "energy" makers, or Force).
I previously had bad issues with anxiety (thanks to a mother with the same problem and a sociopath for a father) and moved to Hawaii, the atmosphere and getting into meditation (Taoism) led me to have a "break" what most people call "Enlightenment" (just kensho). I actually flew off into space at one point and experienced something similar to what Joseph Smith described. So I ended up in China looking for answers. I had grown up Christian, but was an Atheist--so it was strange for me to explain what was happening. I ended up turning to science, but never really found the answer until most recently (it was heart-breaking--fell into nihilism). But now I'm well aware of how both systems work and the need to keep both of them "moderated" and regulated. Amygdala--just enough food, but cutting out most sugars. Insula--more salmon and turkey, exercise more, and I know it might seem strange, but by helping others as much as I can (in person--as insula has mirror neurons that require you to be there to "share" the feelings of others).
Simply, the amygdala is about our "selfish needs" (which you cut back on--these are vices). But the insula is about survival of the species (unselfish needs--which you increase--these are the virtues). Which if look at the I-Ching and Taoism---this is the system, to keep both in balance (the Yin/Yang Circle). Good Luck!!! I know it might not feel like it, but you are probably closer to being more "healthy" than 99% of the population (whether addicts in the amygdala or "spiritualist schizos in the insula). Reason and Awareness over both.
Oh please skip that back piano... kind of fry brains... is that intended for or maybe I´m listening to something that's just not there...???
Did you delete my comment? It was my life experience. We are not allowed to have those anymore in 2024?
I take my life experiences only from authoritative mainstream sources…
Greetings from Venezuela, South America. 🇻🇪
Awww yay! Glad my videos were able to reach you!