Your last point about having a disorder that no one knows how to treat, made me cry. Because every person I have ever come across has refused to treat me, even for my physical health issues and it is soul destroying. When I say how I feel out loud I’m told that I just have to accept I’m too complicated, it’s very shaming. Yet you just validated how I felt in a couple of sentences.
I really appreciate all the comments, folks, thank you. Lots of ideas for future videos - I will do my best to make this channel as good as I can for you. Take care! Mike (by the way, I slightly changed the title of this to make it a bit clearer! Thanks for feedback).
So far your formatting reminds of something like an 'open letter' to people with DID. It feels genuine educated and understanding, there is a lack of accessible resources that have all these properties in the world. I'm still hesitate, but I like what I've seen so far.
The last point is exactly why I know our diagnosis to be true. I heard a lot of other systems have trouble accepting their diagnosis, but for me and for us, as soon as we got the diagnosis and figured out what exactly that means, everything just made so much sense. I could suddenly put things into words that I hadn't even been able to bring up in therapy, because I simply had no words for them. I could suddenly understand why things in my life had been a certain way. Sadly, I "lost" my therapist at that point because he said that he doesn't really know much about it. But I'm finally having appointments with new therapists now...
I'm really pleased to hear that abut your new therapist. It's one of my 'five' because so many people have told me that getting the dagnosis helps more than anything else to make sense of so much that was unknown and confusing.
That's what we were told, "There's nothing we can do for you"....under the care of three different people at a university hospital but they said we needed more help (once a week wasn't enough). They referred me to the local hospital outpatient and once they found out I had a DID diagnosis they rejected me immediately saying I needed more help than they could give, but then where to go? We felt rejected and no one was willing to help or be there so gave up on therapy,...and on humanity really and stopped talking to people. For us it was the last straw after years of fighting without insurance for help and then being told there is no help when there's finally a means to get some. Anyway, We hope others in the future won't end up like us and that they can keep their hope and faith in humanity at least.
The Holmes Family That is really sad to hear, it should not be like that. You described very eloquently precisely what my clinic is trying to change. We are working with people who dissociate to achieve correct assessment and treatment. Lots of success in our county, working to achieve similar elsewhere. Please email if you want to try again...
@@thectadclinic So sorry to hear that, The Holmes Family. I can relate to that a bit and understand how it could make you lose hope and giving up on humanity. Being told you need more help and then being offered even less, or none, would be devastating for anyone. A couple of times we've ended up where the community mental health team people have said we need more support than they can give and cannot be handled as an outpatient, but at the same time no inpatient option and Crisis Team wouldn't admit us on the acute ward. So ended up with nothing at all. Too much for CMHT, not suitable for hospital. It seems to be a real problem in some places, especially with long-term and complex MH problems - we fall between the gap. It's set up as an either "well-enough for standard treatment in the community" or "acute crisis unwell inpatient but short term only" and very very few specialist resources for people who need longer-term somewhat more intensive support (but not necessarily just a bed in the acute ward with meds and suicide-prevention). This last time around we had a re-assessment with a psychiatrist and told there'd be a waiting list to see someone on the CMHT - turns out the "pathway" I've been referred through has a 1 year waiting list (plus 3-4 months from the lockdown earlier in the year) and even then it will be a care-coordinator who will have to assess if we need referring to psychology and then another waiting list. One person on the phone was very frank with us and said most of the front-line of the MHT won't know anything about DID and ultimately we will probably end up needing to be referred "out of area". In the meantime I've finally found a just-about-affordable therapist for one session a week who has specialized in trauma and familiar with structural dissociation and parts work.
Yes, yes, yes! The conflict for us is one of the worst and hardest things. Trying to make any kind of decision is so damn hard. For big decisions we can all take the time to discuss and “vote” on it, but that doesn’t really work for those snap decisions we have to make every day. That is so difficult! Also a huge yes to the final point. Our last GP didn’t even know what DID was, even when our friend explained it used to be called MPD! 😳 This (naturally) has made us very wary of opening up to others in the professional field about it. It would be one thing if he just didn’t know how to treat it, but not even knowing what it is was a huge barrier for receiving any kind of support. Obviously we no longer see him, but that experience has certainly left us feeling more afraid to open up to others.
Oh totally, on the every day decisions! But on the second point, it's difficult enough when medical people or even therapists don't know anything about it, but we struggle even more with those who *think* they do know, but then spout lots of misconceptions or many decades out-of-date stuff. It's also difficult to explain to close friends who have no idea, or seen Hollywood movies, or only heard of DID in the context of "It's controversial and many doctors don't believe it exists" - and then trying to give some basic description of how it works when some of it's so weird or complicated.
So many things in my life started to make sense when I started to see a DID specialist and got Diagnosed. Before then people would tell me about myself and I just wouldn’t believe them.
6:34-7:04 I cried with relief that someone gets it and understands how emotion manifests. It’s been so complicating and confusing for my system juggling these emotions. When the worst of times hit and you are losing time, having no control, and experiencing conflict-your emotions get the best of you. Usually my apparently-normal part (AMP) is in control, calm, and unaffected and then out of nowhere begins to cry and sob hysterically. Other times we become exceedingly angry or feel so anxious and afraid that we cry out blood curdling screams. Sometimes we will be extremely happy, giggling, and all is hilariously funny. Part-work in therapy has helped us understand and validate our parts and means for self-expression while also protecting the system.
We were misdiagnosed as BPD because one of our Hosts is very positive and smiley and the protector who is always with them has a comparably very depressed affect and a quick temper that responds instantly and defensively when the smiley Host gets flustered/overwhelmed and can't figure out how to communicate. That protector lived by the philosophy of "winning by volume alone" but that mindset and their instant defensiveness ended up spoiling a lot of friendships. People didn't look at us the same after an argument because our protector wouldn't spare anyone during a tirade and was more than happy to yell insults at anyone who got too personal or tried to tell them to chill. Discovering ourselves and recognizing behaviors has been a lot of realizations along the lines of "good intent, bad execution". We're doing a lot better now! :)
Omgg, I'm struggling with this currently. Sometimes I can feel the angry protector part pushing to front, but other times it's like such a quick switch and I have zero ability to control anything I'm just watching with an emotional amnesia barrier.. When I was younger and not aware of it being a separate part, I have so many shame ridden memories crying feeling so bad for 'over-reacting' and willing myself to do better next time.. How did you improve it? I don't have any communication with this part.. All the best!
"DID is not a mental illness." exactly right. when writing on Quora about it, I often say DID saved my life and kept me sane. (I write under my pen name Lori Miller, for anyone interested). I have an egalitarian system and have achieved peace because of it. EMDR has helped me to release much of the energy held by traumatized parts. After my diagnosis, I discovered a part in my first system who taught other parts how to meditate through somatic memories. I have (so far, as I know) 3 systems. I haven't yet accessed the third layer but was granted access by a gatekeeper for just a glimpse and saw rows and rows of child parts, all severely injured. I think they may be fragments. I hope you'll do a video on subsystems and polyfragmented DID. Thanks
Not a mental illness. Tell that to insurance companies, and you will lose your coverage for DID. Permanently. The very definition of mental illness includes being unable to function. So tell your idea to the folks who end up repeatedly hospitalized or unable to work due to their DID symptoms. Go ahead and tell them that they don't have an illness, and therefore have no reason to take medication and receive treatment.
A million blessings to you Sir. We understand that DID is just a construct but having a way to understand how my mind works without feeling like I’m the only one on the planet who operates this way is invaluable. At 50 coming to terms that with the fact that I had a dissociative disorder or framework was paramount in learning how to function and to be in much better place with how my mind works. Keep up the inspired work.
I'd say all this is rather accurate, with a major highlight being the mention of "loss of time" as a downside. Feeling like you have a fraction of time to live your life as other nonplural people do is easily the worst of the worst, at least for a lot of people. Still cautiously optimistic
Goodness! You literally just quite simply encapsulated the every day experience of life inside this amazing and confusing brain. It does feel, a great deal of the time, like living in a world of paradoxes! Our sort of but not quite therapist (we do not have a therapist, briefly: in mental health system in England, started "assessment" for psychotherapy which is a 3 session assessment, typically, this was 17 sessions ago and the therapist actually now is in a very awkward position. Not being able to drop us, as he is understandably unwilling to leave us without ANY support, equally cannot fully commit to going anywhere as the specialist psychotherapy services are not equipped to deal with people with a complex trauma history, displaying the types of symptoms we do... he is therefore both our therapist and also.... not our therapist! I 🤔🧐) asks me, "are these voices you, or not you? Are they separate or part of you?" "So yeah, they are definitely not me, though they are also me, we are us, but like, the same? As in the same brain but separate people. I know, logically we all originated in the same body, for different, but the same reasons, but even though we are all part of one we are all totally separate and different, so yeah. Different. Not me. But still me. Only not. You know?" On one hand my own logical self is saying "totally me, totally all part of the same brain, same whole, same entirity" but then as the words leave my mouth, someone else chips in, out of MY mouth: "only we are not the same at all, we are totally separate, whole people just happening to share a body." Then I try to counteract that with "only like, one person, just different bits... different sides...." but my mouth argues "totally separate though, not one person, different people!" My life seemingly made so much more sense when I didnt know anything about it, or about DID... I didnt know I was losing time, I just didnt question anything, amnesia was literally built into my experience as smoothly as any other completely unconscious act. The more I become aware the more I am aware of how much I am not aware of. The more DID makes sense the more my lack of sense about my life starts to become apparent! The more awareness develops about myself, the more I realise how little I am aware of in terms of where the random emotions beamed from the other side of the planet actually come from. Or who, or how... the more I realise how much amnesia I actually have, the more I realise how UNAWARE I am of what triggers there are, how often my window of tolerance is overwhelmed.... it's like the bests of, currently at least, only serve to highlight how deeply the worsts of affect us. And stuck. Yup. Stuck is absolutely where we are right now. Totally, 100%, authentically, wholeheartedly stuck.
Finding out we have DID did explain rather a lot about us. We suffered a lot with "loss" of skills and then getting them again suddenly over our life. Forgetting a language, and then suddenly being able to understand it again without studying. Being completely unable to understand a school exam, and then suddenly knowing everything with ease. Finding out this happened because there were different alters coming around really made a lot of sense. Our system doesn't experience complete amnesia from an alter to the next. In fact, all of us can kind of remember what happened up to about two years ago. Earlier than that, then we have very separated memories and each of us remember different things. We lived years being told it was normal, even though our lack of memory has bothered us since we were twelve and couldn't remember earlier than eight years old, and having that blackout zone eat up more years as we aged. Nowadays we can remember things from way back depending on who is fronting, but when we cofront our memories sometimes get blocked up to recent years again. We'd be very interested in seeing a video about memories if you make one! Thanks for the information either way.
Recently diagnosed and we've lost most of years 4-20, then very limited from 20-40. The last 11 years are better, but still several gaps here and there. Very frustrating. Hopefully now we know what's going on and are starting trauma work we can get some back. 🤞
Discovering this TH-cam channel a few days ago has been wonderful. You explain things very well. Receiving s diagnosis is very confusing! To initially not understand why your mind/brain is doing this and feeling a lack of control can lead to hopelessness, helplessness and despair. Being told it will not go away and you will never be ‘normal’ like you were before fragmenting can create an identity crisis, « Who really am I? ». It can lead to depression which explains why so many people wit DID commit or attempt suicide.
Number 5. The ability to be able to look back with an explanation as to why. It changes the way a person looks at their life. Gives them the ability to explain things in a way that doesn't make them feel crazy. It lets them see that there was a driving reason behind events that previously made no sense, such as being someplace with no memory of why or how. However in changing the way we see our past, it provides moments that require us to take responsibility for events in the past that we caused. So while being a positive experience in that it answers questions, it also comes with the responsibility of making amends for things alters have done. Seeing this, and acting on it are, IMO an important step in healing, both for the system, and those that have been in their life. This was a great video. Please keep going.
The emotions beaming in!! Great way to put that one! Mixed wirh physical PTSD reactions, this is so confusing and frustrating to pin down and gat a handle on. So glad to have your perspective shared with those of us with the condition as well as educating for singlets. Thank you!
Jedi Jen I’m hoping the content will be as useful for those who have dissociation and anyone working in the field. Any thoughts on content is appreciated.
@@thectadclinic Right now I have only one suggestion. I know EMDR can be helpful for trauma work, but I've read that it must be modified for use with DID. My therapist is helping me get step 1 thoroughly in place, so any tips on that before we begin step 2 would be most helpful. Thank you!
WONDERFUL ABSOLUTELY !!!! YOU TRUELY ARE LOCKED IN ON THIS LITERALLY LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION SEAsoned study like you have found your foot right in the middle of a hot steaming one!!!! thank you again thorough and persistence you show just to start!!!!!! steadfast adimate....aloha mr.mike you are changing lives!!!!!
It’s going to be so helpful Mike to have material such as this we can share with close family & friends from an expert in the field of #DID. Will be interested to listen to #maladaptive versus #adaptive. This is because at times I DO have to talk of having an ‘illness’ because otherwise people can assume everything is rosy / easy!
What a sad state of affairs! I would still prefer if more people accepted the "I have a health condition" explanation, but we're a way aways fromt hat just yet, I guess..
i love this view you have - i had a wonderful doctor that was much the same in his perceptions about 'potentials ' and evolving with what we have , instead of how to be sick. Sadly he died last year ,and i'm on my own trying to figure out better internal communication . I have always thought of the potentials of all those skills unlocked and unburdened from the trauma to do new creative and wonderful things
Think another listen or first listen ?? Thank you for distinguishing the truth that DID is not a mental illness but a defense mechanism…… Such a stigma to be labeled “mentally ill/crazy”…… rather than be seen as a severely traumatized human being 💙💞👊👊
Thank you so much. You present info about DID accessibly and accurately, at least from my experiences. So keep us the videos. These will help so much in reducing the confusion and/or unawareness.
Your videos have really helped me recently. Thank you SO MUCH for your uploads. As someone who has DID, I can say you really are reaching out to some of us out here in the world 🤍
This is all true, and sadly, like reading the side effects on a medication, they are often quite contradictory. That is something that struck me listening to you. The best of DID is often paired with something the exact opposite as the worst of DID. And it's so true! I always find it hilarious when I read side effects of meds when they say something like: Causes weight gain AND Causes weight loss. I guess the truth is, no one really knows, and DID can't be quantified because every individual is so different in every single way. My DID will be completely unique to someone else's DID and what might be a strength for me could be a weakness for someone else. Great vid. I look forward to watching more!
Sapphire Graver that’s a great point, so much depends on the individual. For some, getting a diagnosis is a relief, for others it is a massive stressor.
@@thectadclinic exactly right. For us it was a huge relief. Our original host knew something was wrong but just didn't know what and it was frustrating for her, made worse by the fact that other diagnoses she'd had didnt seem to quite feel right. When she was finally diagnosed with DID, she researched it and found that it answered so many questions.
I’ve only just seen this video. When I got my diagnosis, it was like ‘now what?’ There is some work around reducing trigger responses and talking to the alters but, for me, it seems that no one really knows how to treat DID properly. I was lucky enough to have a trauma therapist, and she helped me enormously to work through the stuff that caused the DID and the symptoms have lessened, so I am lucky in that sense
Hi Mike, please can you cover in another blog a little about the reasons why some alters hurt the host, such as physically and or eating disorders etc? Thank you and stay safe
I’m not sure how to word this/worried it won’t be seen as genuine but I believe I might have DID which I’ve denied and suppressed for years. I’m slowly starting to accept that it’s a possibility but as I’ve already been through the mental health team and gotten a diagnosis I feel I won’t be believed as I never revealed any of those parts to the psychiatrist (the dissociation, amnesia, hearing voices etc.) and I was given a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. I’m scared to bring this up with gp In case they think it’s a fad/I’m making it up or the fact I’ve never referred myself as we/us ( I feel so weird using I but I have no idea what else to use) I’ve been watching did channels and now your videos which have been helpful. Sorry for the long comment i just have no other place to voice my thoughts and feelings.
This was awesome. I love that you stated positives and negatives. We sometimes get in a state of just seeing the negatives. Thank you for your time and effort making this video. Looking forward to watching more.
Hoping you will speak about differences between DID and OSDD1, both subjectively and in terms of what symptoms lead you more toward one diagnosis or the other .
I am still constantly amazed at how much about having DID makes sense of my life. My last consultant psychiatrist Dr. Tom Flewett who diagnosed me, worked really hard to get me out of the mental health system and mold and put me into the trauma world which is more fitting. It meant that the focus became about therapy rather than management, which is the main part of mental health. Also I like what you say about parts that can do things like paint, write poetry or even write. I have several who do this and it is how I mainly process a lot of my trauma. Here is a link for anyone curious as I am not the type to do videos as I am still processing shame etc., to my blog in which my others write and write poetry etc: dissociatonwithjazzybell.wordpress.com Thank you for your insightful channel. Edited to add that a system replied and I cannot now find their comment to speak to them, but they said I need to add a Trigger Warning with going to my blog site. I am really sorry to have caused upset, that is the last thing I ever want to do. Blogs work quite differently than a TH-cam channel. But yes I do write about the horrific stuff that I went though, so please be careful.
@@gracemason979 Oh yes I know Astrid as well. I'm in Palmy these days. Nice to know that someone else is close by with this diagnoses as it is hard to find people in this country with it. When were you diagnosed?
Thank you, Jahrasta. There was an ESTD conference in Bern a couple of years ago, I would have hoped that showed this work was doing well there. Let us know if you would like to see what help could be offered.
@@thectadclinic waouuuw wasnt expecting a response! ;) Thank you! Well, I think the situation in Switzerland is slowly moving forward, but the diagnosis are really hard to have here. First, because there isn't any translation for the new DSMV. Then, there isn't enough specialists for psychotraumatology. I'm really lucky though, I hate this DID (TDI soon in french...) diagnosis, but I know how lucky Iam to have it after so many years. I would love so much to make french videos like yours, but I dont feel legitimate as Im no doctor. But yeah, some french content will probably speed up the process! And thank you again for your work, it's really helping me coping
Dr. Mike, did you ever make the video you promised here, the one about "adaptive and maladaptive" coping skills? I can't seem to find it! Thanks! God bless you!
Thank you! As a clinician I am learning about the intricacies of this remarkable ability. I fully agree DID is not a disorder. I would like to see more of your work. Do you have resources (scholarly or otherwise) available elsewhere?
Dr. Salena Potter A few, yes, try here: www.research.lancs.ac.uk/portal/en/publications/its-not-like-you-have-pstd-with-a-touch-of-dissociation(e500dc51-f438-43b1-94d9-345cbaccd986)/export.html So glad you are interested!
Can you do a video about what it looks like to live as a cooperative system?? I thought we were doing that but it turns out all of the responsibilities just fell on me & I got overwhelmed. But here I have all these alters to help & I wasn’t allowing them to help. Now, we’re starting to work together more, but we still need to keep the secret of DID & are having trouble with drawing the line in the sand. Any advice on how this all works would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, - Heidi
I’ve been looking for some resources about dissociative disorders to share with my family and friends. Maybe I’m too old and overeducated, but I can’t enjoy the channels by young people to ‘unboxing’ their lives and DID’s. Plus, I don’t think that’s appropriate content to my 62 years old Mom LOL. So, I love this channel since I found it a few days ago. The only problem I have about sharing this cannel with my family is that we are Spanish speakers and several of them don’t understand a word in English. I haven’t found anything even close to this channel in Spanish, so I will contribute creating subtitles, but it can take me some time. I believe that the channel administrator must approve them, so ¡Please don’t report me as spam! (even if I hide my name and my English writing is not so good LOL)
my former therapist (before my trauma specialist one) admitted she could not deal with it but she did not leave me until I had a therapist to get better treatment.
Hi, I am very curious as to what you may have come across in regards to DID and an aphantasia connection. Or if there any links at all? Thank you for these videos!
@@foldingsystem3814 I'm not sure, some studies have said trauma based, others say physical trauma based... which I guess could also cause emotional trauma but idk, I'm curious to see if anyone with more research/experience may have some input ☺️
@@kintsugisystem6497 We experience aphantasia as well. We've never heard about a connection to trauma, but it's been a very long time since we stoped looking up things about it, either. Are you aware if there's been developed new techniques to try and recover from it? There was image streaming long ago, but it never worked for us. Well, one of us, sort of, it's very temporary.
I try so hard to listen to these videos and learn, but I cant seem to focus and remember what is said. My team seems to be very triggered and becomes switchy. We're pretty good at appearing normal, but whole days, weeks, months disappear. I wish so badly that I could remember so I can hold my abusers accountable. It's all a blank.
How do I apologize and take responsibility for what they do? I do it return totally embarrassed and taking the guilt and shame upon myself. I'm not telling sat, my minister, I have DID, but she was told something she shouldn't have been told. Now I feel like I can't go back to church. How do we go about life continuing to admit im just an asshole who can't be trusted or a negative angry person who should be avoided? Because I'm not. Newly diagnosed and finally understanding some recent events. And not sure how to live this way. Yes, I'm in therapy.
Where does one go when what used to work effectively no longer works and all I do is sleep and watch movies because I don't cope well anymore. What now?
Confusion confusion confusion I’m new were trying to figure this out only by a few months or so and I have realized I’ve been having amnesia but mostly of all I have no memories of anything earlier than five years old and spotty memories after that my whole life is nothing but a mystery my identity is pretty much in crisis and I’ve been dealing with self harm and suicide attempts numerous times throughout my entire life ending up at hospitals at least four times for psychiatric a valuations so this does kind of make some sense to me but yet it’s confusing to me especially when the fact that everyone in our system is not communicating with one another except one who communicates with all and then there are tons of voices Wayback in the headspace that are just like a whisper almost and they don’t say the same things but they sound like the board on Star Trek next generation which when that happens it gives me headaches really bad headaches and mostly migraines which I have suffered with for a couple years of sale not realizing there is actually a lot of voices in the back of my head and because of that within the last two years I have ended up in psych ward at least three times wanting to get rid of all the voices the emotions and the pain and I also have four other mental health diagnosis on top of newly being diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and the other is borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder and then I also suffer from insomnia and right now because of the isolation of being in quarantine for COVID-19 which I have even is making me very depressed and also very fatigued included and confusing messages from my altars in my head and there are times when one specific altar send me and pretty much it’s not my idea to have gummy bears that would be from my 10-year-old who loves gummy bears and I just wish I could get all of them to work together and I have a persecutor who has threaten the lives of all of my alters and me so that is why my system has been named the kiosk system and me host altar Danielle I’m very confused with everything trying to work with my therapist who has been relaying everything to my psychiatrist and she was one that had me going into the hospital briefly the last time my therapist was looking out for my safety and my health and I have been having a lot of time and a lot of problems trying to deal with my emotions because I blocked out all of my emotions until I got married and now they’ve begun to be the biggest problem and flashbacks of things that I can’t make sense of sincerely Danielle Pitmon totally and completely confused
What if there are all these different characters within me, but only some of them disrupt memory when they take over, and others don't? That is to say, we do lose time, as you'd say, however, much of the time, we are all fully aware of one another, and have a shared memory a majority of the time. This is less the case when more extreme defensive measures are required...
@@thectadclinic thank you. Understanding all this, and having a name for it, has been so cathartic for us. All the ways we used to try to explain how we worked/ how our minds worked, and thinking we just sounded crazy, like nothing anyone could possibly relate to...now we have a jumping off point for moving forward.
Please do not forget that there is significant stigma in society, but also in medicine, including psychiatry. It would be bad enough if only the public perception of DID was inaccurate and negative (dangerous, crazy, etc.) but there are mental health professionals that believe it is a factitious label. Medical personnel often have no idea what it is or how to support people w/DID. I have been extremely fortunate to have been believed by professionals, but that is not true for everyone.
The worst thing is having a therapist being over positive about dissociation: trying to convince you that dissociation is great, incredible, clever, an amazing way to cope with trauma, the best coping mechanism ever! I think it's more helpful to say it was useful at one point in your life, but now, not so much. Don't over-egg the positives.
Thanks for the feedback. I tried to present a balanced view, 5 best and 5 worst, each coming from conversations had with people who dissociate. I do agree though, it cannot be seen from a totally positive viewpoint, though having some positivity is helpful in recovery.
Hello! We wanted to ask if you could turn on the community subtitles? There is really no resources about the subject in our mother language and we'd like to contribute, but preferably without exposing our system completely by making videos ourselves. If you're interested, you can find more info on google help here: support.google.com/youtube/answer/6052538?hl=en Thank you!
@@thectadclinic You're welcome, and thank you for not ignoring the comment! Sorry it took a while, we worked on an English version as well since a few of us find it hard to listen to English without subtitles and so we think it can be useful to others. English isn't our mother language, please check it over before approval. Thank you for all the videos, we're finding them helpful! (we'll work on subtitles on them as well)
@@gothboithick Yes I do. But I use my spare time to spread awareness on these people making a coin (not healing) out of gullible souls like yourself. Have a great day!
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Your last point about having a disorder that no one knows how to treat, made me cry. Because every person I have ever come across has refused to treat me, even for my physical health issues and it is soul destroying. When I say how I feel out loud I’m told that I just have to accept I’m too complicated, it’s very shaming. Yet you just validated how I felt in a couple of sentences.
Thank you, I am really glad this has helped!
I really appreciate all the comments, folks, thank you. Lots of ideas for future videos - I will do my best to make this channel as good as I can for you. Take care! Mike (by the way, I slightly changed the title of this to make it a bit clearer! Thanks for feedback).
So far your formatting reminds of something like an 'open letter' to people with DID.
It feels genuine educated and understanding, there is a lack of accessible resources that have all these properties in the world.
I'm still hesitate, but I like what I've seen so far.
The last point is exactly why I know our diagnosis to be true. I heard a lot of other systems have trouble accepting their diagnosis, but for me and for us, as soon as we got the diagnosis and figured out what exactly that means, everything just made so much sense. I could suddenly put things into words that I hadn't even been able to bring up in therapy, because I simply had no words for them. I could suddenly understand why things in my life had been a certain way.
Sadly, I "lost" my therapist at that point because he said that he doesn't really know much about it. But I'm finally having appointments with new therapists now...
I'm really pleased to hear that abut your new therapist. It's one of my 'five' because so many people have told me that getting the dagnosis helps more than anything else to make sense of so much that was unknown and confusing.
The same for us. When our original host was finally diagnoses, so many things fell into place and made sense.
@@sapphiregraver7906 same here.
That's what we were told, "There's nothing we can do for you"....under the care of three different people at a university hospital but they said we needed more help (once a week wasn't enough). They referred me to the local hospital outpatient and once they found out I had a DID diagnosis they rejected me immediately saying I needed more help than they could give, but then where to go? We felt rejected and no one was willing to help or be there so gave up on therapy,...and on humanity really and stopped talking to people. For us it was the last straw after years of fighting without insurance for help and then being told there is no help when there's finally a means to get some. Anyway, We hope others in the future won't end up like us and that they can keep their hope and faith in humanity at least.
The Holmes Family That is really sad to hear, it should not be like that. You described very eloquently precisely what my clinic is trying to change. We are working with people who dissociate to achieve correct assessment and treatment. Lots of success in our county, working to achieve similar elsewhere. Please email if you want to try again...
@@thectadclinic
So sorry to hear that, The Holmes Family. I can relate to that a bit and understand how it could make you lose hope and giving up on humanity. Being told you need more help and then being offered even less, or none, would be devastating for anyone.
A couple of times we've ended up where the community mental health team people have said we need more support than they can give and cannot be handled as an outpatient, but at the same time no inpatient option and Crisis Team wouldn't admit us on the acute ward. So ended up with nothing at all. Too much for CMHT, not suitable for hospital. It seems to be a real problem in some places, especially with long-term and complex MH problems - we fall between the gap. It's set up as an either "well-enough for standard treatment in the community" or "acute crisis unwell inpatient but short term only" and very very few specialist resources for people who need longer-term somewhat more intensive support (but not necessarily just a bed in the acute ward with meds and suicide-prevention).
This last time around we had a re-assessment with a psychiatrist and told there'd be a waiting list to see someone on the CMHT - turns out the "pathway" I've been referred through has a 1 year waiting list (plus 3-4 months from the lockdown earlier in the year) and even then it will be a care-coordinator who will have to assess if we need referring to psychology and then another waiting list. One person on the phone was very frank with us and said most of the front-line of the MHT won't know anything about DID and ultimately we will probably end up needing to be referred "out of area".
In the meantime I've finally found a just-about-affordable therapist for one session a week who has specialized in trauma and familiar with structural dissociation and parts work.
Yes, yes, yes! The conflict for us is one of the worst and hardest things. Trying to make any kind of decision is so damn hard. For big decisions we can all take the time to discuss and “vote” on it, but that doesn’t really work for those snap decisions we have to make every day. That is so difficult!
Also a huge yes to the final point. Our last GP didn’t even know what DID was, even when our friend explained it used to be called MPD! 😳 This (naturally) has made us very wary of opening up to others in the professional field about it. It would be one thing if he just didn’t know how to treat it, but not even knowing what it is was a huge barrier for receiving any kind of support. Obviously we no longer see him, but that experience has certainly left us feeling more afraid to open up to others.
Oh totally, on the every day decisions!
But on the second point, it's difficult enough when medical people or even therapists don't know anything about it, but we struggle even more with those who *think* they do know, but then spout lots of misconceptions or many decades out-of-date stuff.
It's also difficult to explain to close friends who have no idea, or seen Hollywood movies, or only heard of DID in the context of "It's controversial and many doctors don't believe it exists" - and then trying to give some basic description of how it works when some of it's so weird or complicated.
So many things in my life started to make sense when I started to see a DID specialist and got Diagnosed. Before then people would tell me about myself and I just wouldn’t believe them.
6:34-7:04 I cried with relief that someone gets it and understands how emotion manifests. It’s been so complicating and confusing for my system juggling these emotions. When the worst of times hit and you are losing time, having no control, and experiencing conflict-your emotions get the best of you. Usually my apparently-normal part (AMP) is in control, calm, and unaffected and then out of nowhere begins to cry and sob hysterically. Other times we become exceedingly angry or feel so anxious and afraid that we cry out blood curdling screams. Sometimes we will be extremely happy, giggling, and all is hilariously funny. Part-work in therapy has helped us understand and validate our parts and means for self-expression while also protecting the system.
I can tell you from experience that Dr Mike Lloyd is the best of the best. X
We were misdiagnosed as BPD because one of our Hosts is very positive and smiley and the protector who is always with them has a comparably very depressed affect and a quick temper that responds instantly and defensively when the smiley Host gets flustered/overwhelmed and can't figure out how to communicate. That protector lived by the philosophy of "winning by volume alone" but that mindset and their instant defensiveness ended up spoiling a lot of friendships. People didn't look at us the same after an argument because our protector wouldn't spare anyone during a tirade and was more than happy to yell insults at anyone who got too personal or tried to tell them to chill.
Discovering ourselves and recognizing behaviors has been a lot of realizations along the lines of "good intent, bad execution". We're doing a lot better now! :)
Omgg, I'm struggling with this currently. Sometimes I can feel the angry protector part pushing to front, but other times it's like such a quick switch and I have zero ability to control anything I'm just watching with an emotional amnesia barrier.. When I was younger and not aware of it being a separate part, I have so many shame ridden memories crying feeling so bad for 'over-reacting' and willing myself to do better next time.. How did you improve it? I don't have any communication with this part.. All the best!
"DID is not a mental illness." exactly right. when writing on Quora about it, I often say DID saved my life and kept me sane. (I write under my pen name Lori Miller, for anyone interested). I have an egalitarian system and have achieved peace because of it. EMDR has helped me to release much of the energy held by traumatized parts. After my diagnosis, I discovered a part in my first system who taught other parts how to meditate through somatic memories. I have (so far, as I know) 3 systems. I haven't yet accessed the third layer but was granted access by a gatekeeper for just a glimpse and saw rows and rows of child parts, all severely injured. I think they may be fragments. I hope you'll do a video on subsystems and polyfragmented DID. Thanks
Not a mental illness. Tell that to insurance companies, and you will lose your coverage for DID. Permanently. The very definition of mental illness includes being unable to function. So tell your idea to the folks who end up repeatedly hospitalized or unable to work due to their DID symptoms. Go ahead and tell them that they don't have an illness, and therefore have no reason to take medication and receive treatment.
A million blessings to you Sir. We understand that DID is just a construct but having a way to understand how my mind works without feeling like I’m the only one on the planet who operates this way is invaluable. At 50 coming to terms that with the fact that I had a dissociative disorder or framework was paramount in learning how to function and to be in much better place with how my mind works. Keep up the inspired work.
I'd say all this is rather accurate, with a major highlight being the mention of "loss of time" as a downside. Feeling like you have a fraction of time to live your life as other nonplural people do is easily the worst of the worst, at least for a lot of people.
Still cautiously optimistic
Goodness! You literally just quite simply encapsulated the every day experience of life inside this amazing and confusing brain. It does feel, a great deal of the time, like living in a world of paradoxes! Our sort of but not quite therapist (we do not have a therapist, briefly: in mental health system in England, started "assessment" for psychotherapy which is a 3 session assessment, typically, this was 17 sessions ago and the therapist actually now is in a very awkward position. Not being able to drop us, as he is understandably unwilling to leave us without ANY support, equally cannot fully commit to going anywhere as the specialist psychotherapy services are not equipped to deal with people with a complex trauma history, displaying the types of symptoms we do... he is therefore both our therapist and also.... not our therapist! I 🤔🧐) asks me, "are these voices you, or not you? Are they separate or part of you?" "So yeah, they are definitely not me, though they are also me, we are us, but like, the same? As in the same brain but separate people. I know, logically we all originated in the same body, for different, but the same reasons, but even though we are all part of one we are all totally separate and different, so yeah. Different. Not me. But still me. Only not. You know?" On one hand my own logical self is saying "totally me, totally all part of the same brain, same whole, same entirity" but then as the words leave my mouth, someone else chips in, out of MY mouth: "only we are not the same at all, we are totally separate, whole people just happening to share a body." Then I try to counteract that with "only like, one person, just different bits... different sides...." but my mouth argues "totally separate though, not one person, different people!"
My life seemingly made so much more sense when I didnt know anything about it, or about DID... I didnt know I was losing time, I just didnt question anything, amnesia was literally built into my experience as smoothly as any other completely unconscious act. The more I become aware the more I am aware of how much I am not aware of. The more DID makes sense the more my lack of sense about my life starts to become apparent! The more awareness develops about myself, the more I realise how little I am aware of in terms of where the random emotions beamed from the other side of the planet actually come from. Or who, or how... the more I realise how much amnesia I actually have, the more I realise how UNAWARE I am of what triggers there are, how often my window of tolerance is overwhelmed.... it's like the bests of, currently at least, only serve to highlight how deeply the worsts of affect us.
And stuck. Yup. Stuck is absolutely where we are right now. Totally, 100%, authentically, wholeheartedly stuck.
Star System thank you, I feel ya completely.
Finding out we have DID did explain rather a lot about us.
We suffered a lot with "loss" of skills and then getting them again suddenly over our life. Forgetting a language, and then suddenly being able to understand it again without studying. Being completely unable to understand a school exam, and then suddenly knowing everything with ease. Finding out this happened because there were different alters coming around really made a lot of sense.
Our system doesn't experience complete amnesia from an alter to the next. In fact, all of us can kind of remember what happened up to about two years ago. Earlier than that, then we have very separated memories and each of us remember different things. We lived years being told it was normal, even though our lack of memory has bothered us since we were twelve and couldn't remember earlier than eight years old, and having that blackout zone eat up more years as we aged. Nowadays we can remember things from way back depending on who is fronting, but when we cofront our memories sometimes get blocked up to recent years again.
We'd be very interested in seeing a video about memories if you make one! Thanks for the information either way.
Recently diagnosed and we've lost most of years 4-20, then very limited from 20-40. The last 11 years are better, but still several gaps here and there. Very frustrating. Hopefully now we know what's going on and are starting trauma work we can get some back. 🤞
@@autiejedi5857 We're 35.
We hope the best for your system in your therapy.
Good luck to us all.
Discovering this TH-cam channel a few days ago has been wonderful. You explain things very well. Receiving s diagnosis is very confusing! To initially not understand why your mind/brain is doing this and feeling a lack of control can lead to hopelessness, helplessness and despair. Being told it will not go away and you will never be ‘normal’ like you were before fragmenting can create an identity crisis, « Who really am I? ». It can lead to depression which explains why so many people wit DID commit or attempt suicide.
Number 5. The ability to be able to look back with an explanation as to why. It changes the way a person looks at their life. Gives them the ability to explain things in a way that doesn't make them feel crazy. It lets them see that there was a driving reason behind events that previously made no sense, such as being someplace with no memory of why or how. However in changing the way we see our past, it provides moments that require us to take responsibility for events in the past that we caused. So while being a positive experience in that it answers questions, it also comes with the responsibility of making amends for things alters have done. Seeing this, and acting on it are, IMO an important step in healing, both for the system, and those that have been in their life.
This was a great video. Please keep going.
The emotions beaming in!! Great way to put that one! Mixed wirh physical PTSD reactions, this is so confusing and frustrating to pin down and gat a handle on.
So glad to have your perspective shared with those of us with the condition as well as educating for singlets. Thank you!
Jedi Jen I’m hoping the content will be as useful for those who have dissociation and anyone working in the field. Any thoughts on content is appreciated.
@@thectadclinic Right now I have only one suggestion. I know EMDR can be helpful for trauma work, but I've read that it must be modified for use with DID. My therapist is helping me get step 1 thoroughly in place, so any tips on that before we begin step 2 would be most helpful. Thank you!
I've heard about active versus stable DID, but I haven't seen much on what that is. Could you do a vid/explain this?
WONDERFUL ABSOLUTELY !!!! YOU TRUELY ARE LOCKED IN ON THIS LITERALLY LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION SEAsoned study like you have found your foot right in the middle of a hot steaming one!!!! thank you again thorough and persistence you show just to start!!!!!! steadfast adimate....aloha mr.mike you are changing lives!!!!!
You are literally the only person that understands this to me. Thank you 🙏💜🌸
It’s going to be so helpful Mike to have material such as this we can share with close family & friends from an expert in the field of #DID. Will be interested to listen to #maladaptive versus #adaptive. This is because at times I DO have to talk of having an ‘illness’ because otherwise people can assume everything is rosy / easy!
What a sad state of affairs! I would still prefer if more people accepted the "I have a health condition" explanation, but we're a way aways fromt hat just yet, I guess..
Thank You! Great info, looking forward to more videos ~Jessi
i love this view you have - i had a wonderful doctor that was much the same in his perceptions about 'potentials ' and evolving with what we have , instead of how to be sick. Sadly he died last year ,and i'm on my own trying to figure out better internal communication . I have always thought of the potentials of all those skills unlocked and unburdened from the trauma to do new creative and wonderful things
Think another listen or first listen ?? Thank you for distinguishing the truth that DID is not a mental illness but a defense mechanism…… Such a stigma to be labeled “mentally ill/crazy”…… rather than be seen as a severely traumatized human being 💙💞👊👊
Thank you so much. You present info about DID accessibly and accurately, at least from my experiences. So keep us the videos. These will help so much in reducing the confusion and/or unawareness.
I appreciate this so much. We have had doctors not understand did. I wish more medical professional got on youtube to talk with did community.
OMG. I have thought about some of these. It didn't include all of these. Thank you for the cheerleading. 🌼
Your videos has helped me so much. Things are starting to make sense now.
We kind of rejected our diagnosis because we feel like it's not distressing or problematic
it's nice to see things recognized
Your videos have really helped me recently. Thank you SO MUCH for your uploads. As someone who has DID, I can say you really are reaching out to some of us out here in the world 🤍
This is all true, and sadly, like reading the side effects on a medication, they are often quite contradictory. That is something that struck me listening to you. The best of DID is often paired with something the exact opposite as the worst of DID. And it's so true! I always find it hilarious when I read side effects of meds when they say something like: Causes weight gain AND Causes weight loss. I guess the truth is, no one really knows, and DID can't be quantified because every individual is so different in every single way. My DID will be completely unique to someone else's DID and what might be a strength for me could be a weakness for someone else. Great vid. I look forward to watching more!
Sapphire Graver that’s a great point, so much depends on the individual. For some, getting a diagnosis is a relief, for others it is a massive stressor.
@@thectadclinic exactly right. For us it was a huge relief. Our original host knew something was wrong but just didn't know what and it was frustrating for her, made worse by the fact that other diagnoses she'd had didnt seem to quite feel right. When she was finally diagnosed with DID, she researched it and found that it answered so many questions.
This was very helpful for us, thank you🙏🏻!
I’ve only just seen this video.
When I got my diagnosis, it was like ‘now what?’
There is some work around reducing trigger responses and talking to the alters but, for me, it seems that no one really knows how to treat DID properly.
I was lucky enough to have a trauma therapist, and she helped me enormously to work through the stuff that caused the DID and the symptoms have lessened, so I am lucky in that sense
Wow, such clarity.
Thank you Mike. You give me hope for the future and I know that one day I’ll get there! 😻🤗
Hi Mike, please can you cover in another blog a little about the reasons why some alters hurt the host, such as physically and or eating disorders etc?
Thank you and stay safe
Catherine Foster Sure, great idea, and something that is seen a lot in clinical practice, so I will talk about this. Thank you!
I’m not sure how to word this/worried it won’t be seen as genuine but I believe I might have DID which I’ve denied and suppressed for years. I’m slowly starting to accept that it’s a possibility but as I’ve already been through the mental health team and gotten a diagnosis I feel I won’t be believed as I never revealed any of those parts to the psychiatrist (the dissociation, amnesia, hearing voices etc.) and I was given a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. I’m scared to bring this up with gp In case they think it’s a fad/I’m making it up or the fact I’ve never referred myself as we/us ( I feel so weird using I but I have no idea what else to use) I’ve been watching did channels and now your videos which have been helpful. Sorry for the long comment i just have no other place to voice my thoughts and feelings.
Bethany Kendall that’s ok, Bethany, lots of people have gone through similar. I truly hope you get the support you need.
This was awesome. I love that you stated positives and negatives. We sometimes get in a state of just seeing the negatives. Thank you for your time and effort making this video. Looking forward to watching more.
Whispofagarden thank you, really glad it has been useful to you!
I finally got round to watching these thank you Mike!!!
This was really good Mike :) thank you! Excited to see more content from you in the future!
Hoping you will speak about differences between DID and OSDD1, both subjectively and in terms of what symptoms lead you more toward one diagnosis or the other .
I just finished filming a piece about this, hoping it will be posted up later today.
I just stumbled upon your channel. I want to say thankyou🙏💐
You are welcome! I hope the videos help.
I am still constantly amazed at how much about having DID makes sense of my life. My last consultant psychiatrist Dr. Tom Flewett who diagnosed me, worked really hard to get me out of the mental health system and mold and put me into the trauma world which is more fitting. It meant that the focus became about therapy rather than management, which is the main part of mental health. Also I like what you say about parts that can do things like paint, write poetry or even write. I have several who do this and it is how I mainly process a lot of my trauma. Here is a link for anyone curious as I am not the type to do videos as I am still processing shame etc., to my blog in which my others write and write poetry etc: dissociatonwithjazzybell.wordpress.com Thank you for your insightful channel. Edited to add that a system replied and I cannot now find their comment to speak to them, but they said I need to add a Trigger Warning with going to my blog site. I am really sorry to have caused upset, that is the last thing I ever want to do. Blogs work quite differently than a TH-cam channel. But yes I do write about the horrific stuff that I went though, so please be careful.
Alice Mason yes I do live in NZ. Tom Flewett was my Dr for 20 years. He now trains people in EMDR therapy.
@@gracemason979 Oh yes I know Astrid as well. I'm in Palmy these days. Nice to know that someone else is close by with this diagnoses as it is hard to find people in this country with it. When were you diagnosed?
@@jazminebellx11 Many people with DID shy away from EMDR. For me its been a lifesaver. I've been doing it for years,
Oh I can't wait to hear this but I'm falling asleep. Tomorrow!!
Thank you so much for your videos. In Switzerland it’s really hard to get treated with a DID. And this is helping us so much.. ❤️
Thank you, Jahrasta. There was an ESTD conference in Bern a couple of years ago, I would have hoped that showed this work was doing well there. Let us know if you would like to see what help could be offered.
@@thectadclinic waouuuw wasnt expecting a response! ;) Thank you!
Well, I think the situation in Switzerland is slowly moving forward, but the diagnosis are really hard to have here. First, because there isn't any translation for the new DSMV. Then, there isn't enough specialists for psychotraumatology. I'm really lucky though, I hate this DID (TDI soon in french...) diagnosis, but I know how lucky Iam to have it after so many years.
I would love so much to make french videos like yours, but I dont feel legitimate as Im no doctor. But yeah, some french content will probably speed up the process! And thank you again for your work, it's really helping me coping
Thank you !!! ALL of this makes so much sense and we'd really like to get in touch with you !
Please keep them coming…
Dr. Mike, did you ever make the video you promised here, the one about "adaptive and maladaptive" coping skills? I can't seem to find it! Thanks! God bless you!
Thank you! As a clinician I am learning about the intricacies of this remarkable ability. I fully agree DID is not a disorder. I would like to see more of your work. Do you have resources (scholarly or otherwise) available elsewhere?
Dr. Salena Potter A few, yes, try here: www.research.lancs.ac.uk/portal/en/publications/its-not-like-you-have-pstd-with-a-touch-of-dissociation(e500dc51-f438-43b1-94d9-345cbaccd986)/export.html
So glad you are interested!
Amen to getting the diagnosis!!!!
Can you do a video about what it looks like to live as a cooperative system?? I thought we were doing that but it turns out all of the responsibilities just fell on me & I got overwhelmed. But here I have all these alters to help & I wasn’t allowing them to help.
Now, we’re starting to work together more, but we still need to keep the secret of DID & are having trouble with drawing the line in the sand. Any advice on how this all works would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
- Heidi
Thanks, Heidi, that’s a good idea for a segment.
Thank you so much, I look foreword to more videos! ~ Rosé
I’ve been looking for some resources about dissociative disorders to share with my family and friends. Maybe I’m too old and overeducated, but I can’t enjoy the channels by young people to ‘unboxing’ their lives and DID’s. Plus, I don’t think that’s appropriate content to my 62 years old Mom LOL. So, I love this channel since I found it a few days ago. The only problem I have about sharing this cannel with my family is that we are Spanish speakers and several of them don’t understand a word in English. I haven’t found anything even close to this channel in Spanish, so I will contribute creating subtitles, but it can take me some time. I believe that the channel administrator must approve them, so ¡Please don’t report me as spam! (even if I hide my name and my English writing is not so good LOL)
HI, I would be delighted if you could spare the time to translate my video/s into Spanish, it would be amazing. Thank you very much for the offer!
@@thectadclinic Hi, I have already translated the subtitles of the first two videos on the channel. Can you please check to post them?
Thank you
my former therapist (before my trauma specialist one) admitted she could not deal with it but she did not leave me until I had a therapist to get better treatment.
Hi, I am very curious as to what you may have come across in regards to DID and an aphantasia connection. Or if there any links at all? Thank you for these videos!
They have a connection?
@@foldingsystem3814 I'm not sure, some studies have said trauma based, others say physical trauma based... which I guess could also cause emotional trauma but idk, I'm curious to see if anyone with more research/experience may have some input ☺️
Kintsugi System we have this
@@kintsugisystem6497 We experience aphantasia as well.
We've never heard about a connection to trauma, but it's been a very long time since we stoped looking up things about it, either.
Are you aware if there's been developed new techniques to try and recover from it? There was image streaming long ago, but it never worked for us. Well, one of us, sort of, it's very temporary.
I have an argument going on in my own home over a really modern floor lamp "I" purchased from IKEA....
Bloody nightmare 🤣🙈
Thank you!!! 🙌🏻
I try so hard to listen to these videos and learn, but I cant seem to focus and remember what is said. My team seems to be very triggered and becomes switchy. We're pretty good at appearing normal, but whole days, weeks, months disappear. I wish so badly that I could remember so I can hold my abusers accountable. It's all a blank.
Be patient, Kate!
How do I apologize and take responsibility for what they do? I do it return totally embarrassed and taking the guilt and shame upon myself. I'm not telling sat, my minister, I have DID, but she was told something she shouldn't have been told. Now I feel like I can't go back to church.
How do we go about life continuing to admit im just an asshole who can't be trusted or a negative angry person who should be avoided? Because I'm not.
Newly diagnosed and finally understanding some recent events. And not sure how to live this way. Yes, I'm in therapy.
Where does one go when what used to work effectively no longer works and all I do is sleep and watch movies because I don't cope well anymore. What now?
There may be limits to what can be sorted alone, the rest may need guidance.
Tusen tack 🌺
Confusion confusion confusion I’m new were trying to figure this out only by a few months or so and I have realized I’ve been having amnesia but mostly of all I have no memories of anything earlier than five years old and spotty memories after that my whole life is nothing but a mystery my identity is pretty much in crisis and I’ve been dealing with self harm and suicide attempts numerous times throughout my entire life ending up at hospitals at least four times for psychiatric a valuations so this does kind of make some sense to me but yet it’s confusing to me especially when the fact that everyone in our system is not communicating with one another except one who communicates with all and then there are tons of voices Wayback in the headspace that are just like a whisper almost and they don’t say the same things but they sound like the board on Star Trek next generation which when that happens it gives me headaches really bad headaches and mostly migraines which I have suffered with for a couple years of sale not realizing there is actually a lot of voices in the back of my head and because of that within the last two years I have ended up in psych ward at least three times wanting to get rid of all the voices the emotions and the pain and I also have four other mental health diagnosis on top of newly being diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and the other is borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder and then I also suffer from insomnia and right now because of the isolation of being in quarantine for COVID-19 which I have even is making me very depressed and also very fatigued included and confusing messages from my altars in my head and there are times when one specific altar send me and pretty much it’s not my idea to have gummy bears that would be from my 10-year-old who loves gummy bears and I just wish I could get all of them to work together and I have a persecutor who has threaten the lives of all of my alters and me so that is why my system has been named the kiosk system and me host altar Danielle I’m very confused with everything trying to work with my therapist who has been relaying everything to my psychiatrist and she was one that had me going into the hospital briefly the last time my therapist was looking out for my safety and my health and I have been having a lot of time and a lot of problems trying to deal with my emotions because I blocked out all of my emotions until I got married and now they’ve begun to be the biggest problem and flashbacks of things that I can’t make sense of sincerely Danielle Pitmon totally and completely confused
What if there are all these different characters within me, but only some of them disrupt memory when they take over, and others don't? That is to say, we do lose time, as you'd say, however, much of the time, we are all fully aware of one another, and have a shared memory a majority of the time. This is less the case when more extreme defensive measures are required...
Entirely possible, and fairly common.
@@thectadclinic thank you. Understanding all this, and having a name for it, has been so cathartic for us. All the ways we used to try to explain how we worked/ how our minds worked, and thinking we just sounded crazy, like nothing anyone could possibly relate to...now we have a jumping off point for moving forward.
Please do not forget that there is significant stigma in society, but also in medicine, including psychiatry. It would be bad enough if only the public perception of DID was inaccurate and negative (dangerous, crazy, etc.) but there are mental health professionals that believe it is a factitious label. Medical personnel often have no idea what it is or how to support people w/DID. I have been extremely fortunate to have been believed by professionals, but that is not true for everyone.
The worst thing is having a therapist being over positive about dissociation: trying to convince you that dissociation is great, incredible, clever, an amazing way to cope with trauma, the best coping mechanism ever! I think it's more helpful to say it was useful at one point in your life, but now, not so much. Don't over-egg the positives.
Thanks for the feedback. I tried to present a balanced view, 5 best and 5 worst, each coming from conversations had with people who dissociate. I do agree though, it cannot be seen from a totally positive viewpoint, though having some positivity is helpful in recovery.
👏👏👏👏
I am multi talented but got no where because of it.
Hello! We wanted to ask if you could turn on the community subtitles?
There is really no resources about the subject in our mother language and we'd like to contribute, but preferably without exposing our system completely by making videos ourselves.
If you're interested, you can find more info on google help here:
support.google.com/youtube/answer/6052538?hl=en
Thank you!
I think I have now done this!
@@thectadclinic Yes, it works, thank you!
Once we're done with the subtitles we'll comment again for approval in the video.
Folding System That is so kind of you, I really appreciate you helping me understand how subtitles work on here.
@@thectadclinic You're welcome, and thank you for not ignoring the comment!
Sorry it took a while, we worked on an English version as well since a few of us find it hard to listen to English without subtitles and so we think it can be useful to others. English isn't our mother language, please check it over before approval.
Thank you for all the videos, we're finding them helpful! (we'll work on subtitles on them as well)
🤗🌺
Doesn't it bother you that the only reason this channel exists is to aid a handful of malingerers??
dont you have anything better to do with your life than harass traumatized people trying to heal?
@@gothboithick Yes I do. But I use my spare time to spread awareness on these people making a coin (not healing) out of gullible souls like yourself. Have a great day!