Glad someone is bothering to teach Seneca's works & is sensible. Even what you covered is very true about offence from Seneca's approach of ''Truth & nonsense'' I have always had a much simpler approach of accepting 'you are what you are'' If being told what you are upsets you then that is your problem & no one else's that say more then words ever could! Risus meo puer. Laugh/smile my lad. It works better then berating back in a pointless cycle. Any supposed hardship can be light by laughter & smile:) My mind & past is light, is yours out of curiosity dear reader?
Indeed and when dealing with a psychopathic individual it's wisest not to give them the emotional response they're looking for by displaying offence, it merely encourages them to continue their destructive behavior
TheBrotherhood 2 yeah let’s learn about a man who rules on a high misogynistic culture (...) please stop this, it’s time to change, forget the patriarchal knowledge
MrSdsok cus our culture is based on that high misogyny old culture. And some people like the one that makes this video, think is funny to keep replicating something that is destroying our world and get womans in a second place
Guys i want to share my problem related to mental health, please help me. First of all please READ MY FULL PROBLEM, EACH AND EVERY WORD CAREFULLY. ITS A REQUEST. my problem consists of some points 1). Many times while viewing other people opinions on many debatable topics like racism, feminism, castism etc. I really got offended by just reading some opinions to which i do not agree, and i just wanted to argue with them and to correct them. most of the times, people give some stupid opinions on these topics, when they know only half of the truth and that triggers me so much and gives me craving to just tell them the full truth and to correct them. due to this sometimes i spend a lot of time on internet on just commenting to correct others in hope that they will see my comment and know the reality. 2)I also get triggered by the bad things happening in the world and also got triggered by the people reaction and opinions about those bad things. example1 - i got triggered by people who blames a girl's clothes on getting assaulted. example2 - i got triggered when people completely ignores the problems faced by men and say they have 0 problems, and blames men for every crime and ignores the fact that crime has no gender. 3)i also got very much sad and triggered by the poeple's DOUBLE STANDARDS,DOUBLE REACTONS AND HYPOCRISY on many situations. people who say taxic or biased things. example1- "people getting sad and hating a men beating a women, but they laughs and make jokes on women beating a men and does not support men". example2- "people saying that boys should not hit girl but they are ok when someone hit a boy or, a girl hitting a boy and not realizing that violence is bad with both genders". Example3- "people making abusive jokes on men are good, but people making jokes on women are sexist." or when people react stupidly when they only know half of truth. in these cases i just want to argue with people and make them know that they are wrong and they need to know the truth. I also desperately wait for their replies to my comment to know their reaction to my statement or whether they agree with me or not. I dont know why i care so much about other people opinions and indulge myself to correct them. why i consider it my duty to wash of other's stupidness.? but i want to say that i never disrespected anyone while arguing and i also accepted my defeat when someone destroyed my opinions and proved me wrong, and i also thanked him/her to correcting me. and many times i also got man approvals and praises for what i have written. so i do not have a EGO problems, i just want to argue with people who does not agree with me and i want to either defeat them or get defeated by them in debate of comments. and this is exerting a negative affect in my life and making me sad and depressed in my real life by just thinking that "why people are like this,why dont they understand,why this world is so hypocritical and bad". sometimes i even search for the youtube videos and comments in which i can find people who have negative opinions just to fight them and correct them. i just want you to help me with this problem, and also suggest that when to argue(because a healthy and constructive debate is not a bad thing) and how not to get offended by different opinions on a debate, and how not be sad and negative after a heated debate. Also i want to ask that when we should criticise other's mistakes, wrong statements and hypocrisy. i just want to be carefree and do not give a f to what others think about a particular topic but i cannot stop myself to react to other people opinions and to correct them. GUYS PLEASE GIVE A DETAILED SOLUTION.
@@swaroop2518 lol I laughed at this haha because I can relate I can easily explain it because I know this feeling I like to know that I fully understand what I feel because when others act negatively to me I do get physical but I realize that they're fools but I'm stupid for reacting because it makes think oh wow he pushed me just because of my words? They're the cowards even if I intimidated them and that was my brother who said that he called me a dumbass as well and I pushed him slightly I swear I didn't hurt him but my point in pushing him was to send him a message to not fuck with me or will punch him. So he stood like a tough ass trying to act as if I wasn't worth anything but he was a statue he wasn't either or me but after that I was joyful that I liked to think I intimidated him as he called me a dumbass for the last meat on the plate so he had no good reason to call me so I just left at that because I like to know that I won so. But yesterday my own mother cursed at me like a crazy beach and it did hurt me I only usually cry because she's christian and I keep thinking she's gentle kind she Can be but most of the time nah so when she cursed at me for turning on the lights because she had a fear of us being found out by the managers office because there was a truck outside our house like an employee of the community she turned me to turn off the lights and I turned them off and she said why did I then then off? So I turned them on again and she screamed at me so I turned them off again to me this was halirious because doing the contrary *by accident* of what others say makes me laugh because I didn't intentionally want to make her mad I just wanted to as she told me but after she cursed at me in 5 seconds I didn't say a word I left with a emotionless face and went to my room to lock it as my brother was just sitting there not paying attention my mother came to the door to say sorry and apologize that it is her own fault that she screamed at me and that me turning on the lights isn't my fault I didn't say anything because I would've cried because of my own thoughts thinking " she's my mother and I thought nobody else would hurt me I've been in another ways I would tell nobody not even my mother but i think her emotionally damaging me hurts the most* as I went Into my closet she couldn't come in the main door which is locked but my father came to the door to ask her why she yelled cursed at me she said that it is his fault for acting negatively towards me and she oh he's criying already which I did not and I do take pride that I did not because I usually do but because I completely ignored her and stopped overthinking it I didn't cry because for no reasons I think of ridiculous scenarios whenever something bad happens to me and I go mentally insane for a few seconds so I just stop talking to myself about it and instead if I want to go to someone else and other family. to me feminism doesn't matter I used to go out my way to just tell them that they're wrong I know they are as they barely have any sticks to stand on and most people are against them other women and men I care more misandrism because it's a bigger problem I told my uncle do you wanna hear a rape joke about women? And he said "no those aren't funny" not in a serious voice or face but in a way that wouldn't negative physical facial expression so I said "I asked you that because there's guys who joke about other men being raped" and he said "uuhhhh yeah I can see that makes sense" not that he supports any rape jokes but idk why I just leave sometimes as if it was a online discussion and withought saying goodbye I'ma play some video games now he knows.
@@temmon8493 This could be a way to make them stop but then you're playing in their frame buddy. Don't let a few words make you mad in the first place.
This is actually true and may I add, in most cases after said reaction, the offender usually does a U_turn becoming almost apologetic. Have a nice day buddy.
Ruth Jones... your grandfather was a very, very wise man...thanks for sharing his wisdom with us...i will use this tactic when someone tries to offend me..👏💐😀
Ruth Jones my boss said the same thing to me about difficult customers, just be nice to them they don’t know what to do and it makes them feel awkward. It worked every time. 😄
The worst kind of offense is when ur own friends, f r i e n d s, are laughing at you, cursing at you and getting personal with the insults and jokes. And then when a third party comes along you immediately become the sensitive person in the group who can’t take a joke and ur told to ‘chill’ and that they’re just ‘roasting’ you and the ‘why so serious’ crap. Shit hurts man, if ur joking make it clear that you’re joking to the person you’re joking to ‘cause words can hurt like a bitch.
That’s my siblings right there they roast me they know I don’t like it and don’t appreciate it but they do it anyways and then when I tell them to stop they say it’s a joke it’s like they are using the word joke to cover up their real intention
@Sustanaelle i also often fall into such conflicts, but don't know how to comeback good comment as they made. Also when you keep quiet it means you are accepting the thing what to do in that situation?
My belief is that if the person intentionally tries to offend you their opinion automatically loses any value to me anyhow. Excellent content here too Sir! Peace & Prosperity
My experience is seldom are friends intentionally offensive or they won’t be your friends. If they are, YOU are the Problem. What happens is we take things too personally or we don’t allow another perspective into our life. More often than not, we get offended when friends get brutally frank and we may not be ready to accept the truth at that time, or simply, we have a different perspective but do not know how to express our truth effectively. So we are frustrated. It is then easier to blame and label others as toxic. Sure, friends can learn to be kinder with words. But up to us to draw the boundary of what is desirable in a friendship.
@@solecurious1448 My philosophy on this modern phenomena is that the people who use the word toxic to describe others, are usually the most toxic people going.
In my country, we have a saying. "Words only matter depending on who says them in relation to you." Only I can decide who can offend me. In my case it's only people who know me extremely well and if I want to.
My parents do. It gets me confused. I don't know how to properly deal with it because ignorance worsens the insults and speaking your mind means disrespect.
@@Neopolitan_Illusion Maybe figure out what you're doing wrong? Maybe you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing? And if it's not your fault then, move out? And visit them once in a while to make sure they're fine. Never abandon parents, no matter how disagreeable they are.
You’re confusing thick-skinned with empathy. Some people can be inured to insults but have empathy. Only those who lacked it are selfish and cold-hearted.
@@malldeer498 My observation and experience has shown me when people let their feelings be their guide they suffer greatly because those feelings always change. Things they hear are taken to be about them as though their toes had been stepped on. They harden their hearts with resentment and selfishness. When I develop a "thick skin" attitude I can then slow my reactions to the point I don't retaliate. Time softens the blows and encourages the heart to so soften. My comment was meant to remind myself to not take myself so seriously. A very wise person once told me, "develop a thick skin so you can keep a soft heart. So far its helping. Thank you for your comment.
It Hurts because you are attached to your body which is not yours in the ultimate sense.can you tell your body not to die?we are spirit using the body for this lifetime, if you're attach to the body,the more we suffer.that's why spiritual seekers don't beautify their bodies like monks and nuns.
We can't deny it. Being offended is part of the human experience. Embrace it. Unpack it. Di-sect it. The question is how are we going to react to the offense.
Or how long are we going to stay offended... In my experience, embracing and dissecting the offense has led me to spend less and less time being offended. I may not have a "thicker skin", but at least I know it's a momentary feeling.
Honestly the only people who offend are moms family, I just can't stand a word being directed at me and literally everything just rubs me off in the wrong way.
For me, I find that feeling insulted comes largely from seeking the validation of others, and people want you to seek their approval and validation as a means of enforcing groupthink and controlling you. The problem is that I reject groupthink and people’s validation, as I think that my own happiness is more important, and I insist on being free to think for myself because that’s the only way that I can have peace and happiness. If something that someone is saying or doing does nothing to bring anymore joy or happiness to my life during my short time here, then I just don’t care. Internal validation and prioritizing your own happiness go a long way towards minimizing the impact of insults.
@@CallMeKittyRawrr I think you could, somewhat, be reading between the lines. I think they are mainly on the right line of thinking. Although, I think you need the humility to sometimes be able to ask whether a criticism is true.
Dear Einzelgänger, you got me fall in love with stoicism and it changed my whole life. Thank you for that, and keep up your good work! Greetings from germany
I really needed this. I’ve been defending myself with some quick witted humor but when I’m alone I tend to dwell on feeling (offended) when really i had no need to. It’s funny how the mind works, but it’s always better when you know how to work the mind. Thank you.
Yes, I find humour works to lower tension with a person, though it can sometimes make them madder - but that's on them. I find some people are very mean in comments. If someone calls you a terrible word, or tells you to F off, you can ignore it, or reply: "If you say so," or, "Well, that's just GOOD advice."
I think the important thing here is to remember that this is *for you* and not for other people around you. Going into this with the wrong intention of _looking_ more confident and cool around others will defeat the purpose of it. You need to truly do this for your own mental health and not a place of ego where you want to one up someone by making them think you don't care because that in and of itself is caring.
I needed to hear this in order to face my extended family again. They're a special kind of evil that likes tearing other ppl down for their own entertainment and I refuse to grant them the satisfaction of letting them see me affected by their insults. I have limited my exposure to them to the bare minimum but there will be times that seeing them can't be avoided. So I just have to handle the situation better. Hope everyone who's feeling similar sentiments keeps holding on! You're not alone
I don't think people get offended because "words hurt." Insult can be anything from a playful jab, a verbal spar for fun, or a repetitive, reputation-ruining slander campaign. It's cheeky to get on a pedestal and pretend that we can just dismiss what people say of us. When insults become the platform for denying someone the support they deserve, or when malicious lies confound our relationships to one another, that's the kind of behavior we should be punishing. "Just don't get offended" does not suffice, some people will weaponize their words to influence law and government.
@humankinda while you can attempt to communicate or regulate, you have no control over the outcome of that attempt. Because people, in order to respond to regulation, must be not only very self reflecting but also open/willing to change. And that is not under your control. To me, that's the foremost message of stoicism. Not to renounce entirely from trying to change others applying reason, but to know that their response to it is not under your control. But that's maybe just my approach or interpretation, anyway.
Not expecting everybody to be nice was the hardest pill to swallow for me. Thanks! I needed this reality check. 😊 People should be allowed to exist as they are, even if they were raised badly.
In my opinion, the deep root of feeling offended at an insult is this: Regardless of whether the offending statement is truth or nonsense, the very fact that the offender chooses to make the statement implies that he/she thinks of you as someone to whom he/she can make such a statement. In other words, It’s not the actual content of the insult that hurts, it’s the implicit statement saying “I think you’re so weak, that I freely allow myself to make fun of your baldness”.
CosmicScribe1 Good question. I don’t know. In my experience, the closer the person is to you, the harder it becomes to deal with it, because those who are close to you will say something that always has a grain of truth to it, even if it’s completely out of context. I think, deep down, taking offense at any statement ultimately has to do with the fear of not being regarded as a dignified living being worthy of respect (whatever respect means). That’s why I find the content of this video extremely shallow, and I doubt the book will be any deeper.
@@studentofspacetime if ur friend doesnt respect u then ditch them.toxic relationships is not the same as some small thing offending u.u will feel better in ur mind once the negativity is gone n u will make new more deserving friends in future
@@stopgotdamndeletingmycomme8642 I think it comes down to insecurity. When you have insecurities, you can get triggered by others. Becoming "unoffendable" will not come about by logical thinking along the lines of this video IMO. More likely it will require inner transformation at the emotional level.
just remember to try to not listen to the haters. be strong. the only reason their saying those stuff is because they have no life. they have nothing better to do. they want to see you suffer. don’t let that happen. if they offend you, you’re giving them power. they only get offended if you don’t get offended. god bless all of you.
Well said well said. I know I’m late but I can’t help but to agree with you as that’s how I truly feel. Family issue between me and the oldest sister. I always thought she was a spineless pitiful soul because her waking life she is miserable and because I am so honest and not fake she can’t stand me for that. So she tries to make up lots of lies and tell other ppl who I don’t care for nor like bullshit stories. And so that person makes comments as to try and offend me and try to see me suffer because they r pathetic and have a miserable life. 😂😂😬😬😬😬😬😬😬 both have a miserable marriage and they r stuck in it they r not happy with their marriage so they try to find anybody to drag them with them as misery loves company 😂😂ain’t that the truth!
We all live in our own bubbles and we have a special place for us in that world. Things get nasty when the reality check that you are just a nobody in a world full of crazies. lol... Ego is really really harmful at times.
I always enjoy your videos & try daily to implement your advice, definitely helps to know I'm not alone in my aloneness. Your book will be my Christmas gift to myself 🙂
Such a wonderful set of videos! Thank you for these! The whole turn the other cheek thing was a huge revelation to me. Raised as an American Christian, I was taught to believe that was literal. Your interpretation of not allowing ourselves to be offended makes so much more sense and makes me sad for all of the millions of us who didn't understand the true meaning of turn the other cheek. The Bible should come with historical footnotes to give true context to the crap that is misinterpreted from it.
I've been struggling with this ever since i was growing up. I can't help it, I do get offended even if it doesn't really matter eventually at all. Right now, I'm trying to somehow find a way to change this way of thinking cause right now, I live in a competitive world. Hopefully this types of videos is gonna help me through it. And with practice of course.
When i scolded people.. they told me not to offend other people n to be nice... when i get offended by people who scolded me they tell me not to get offended... I dont understand...
@@SunSunSunn you’re mad at someone with an anime profile? That’s not even an anime profile.Your profile is a picture, not who you are. What does a profile have to do with saying that. we have more important things to do and I believe you do to. So get away from your device and enjoy your life instead of using up your Precious energy ruining someone else’s for there profile. Have a beautiful day.
People don’t understand that you ultimately give the insulter the ability to offend you. For all of you who don’t understand that and get angry, I feel sorry for you because you’re still a prisoner to you basic emotions.
I saw the late Wayne Dyer a few yrs back. He was the first to point out the fact many people love to be offended. They look for ways to find offense. Avoid and don't try to please them.
I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH YOU HERE, HOWEVER, THE "OTHER CHEEK" IS SORE. I WILL TAKE BAD ENERGY AS A GIFT AND TRANSFORM IT INTO GOOD ENERGY FOR MY OWN USE. I LIKE YOUR VIDEOS VERY MUCH. YOU'RE A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART ACTUALLY.
After working in customer service for 20 years the art of not being offended is one you have to practice. I have calmed many very angry people down on the phone. One called me a cunt. It didn't phase me. They don't know me. Pointless to be upset yet, you re human it hurts sometimes when a customer rips you apart. Anyone really. Then I remember Bob Ross, Happy Trees.🌲🌲 Then it slowly disappears. Those years of customer service has served me well. I encourage people to try it even for a year. One the phone and face to face. That's how you practice this Art the best. When people don't see you as famous or special just there. You both are. Having a conversation. Solving a problem if possible or just listening. It does help.
@Janet Baker Not true. Religious people have always been easily offended on behalf of their religion. The stereotype Muslim might get more offended about things regarding their religion than the stereotype Christian because today the stereotype Muslim is more conservative / traditional than the stereotype Christian (of Europe at least). But go back 200-300 years in Europe and Christians got easily offended too on trivial issues. Go back even further and the Inquisition killed and tortured thousands upon thousands for various offences deemed an insult to Christianity. Heck most people got more easily offended, not just religious people. Men would challenge other men to a duel, a letal fight, if they thought a trivial insult, like a provocative remark, had violated their honor. Why? Because people expected them too, because honor and pride permeated many aspects of society. And thus, it doesn't take much to get offended in such a society.
@Janet Baker You're the dumbest person on here. Looks like you really haven't been paying attention to this channel. Nothing but another insecure person who chooses to pigeonhole all Muslims into one box because her life is too passive, easily affected by that which the media feeds her. Your "othering" scheme is just a reflection of how easily offended you are by your perverted view of the world that you've chosen to turn a blind eye to reality.
Probably not correct, but I choose to kill with kindness. That is my nature. Who knows what the person is going through? I never escalate because it doesn't lead to a successful outcome.
What if it's your parents? Ignorance worsens the insults and speaking your mind means disrespect. I actually managed to remove the anger to communicate the thoughts clearly, I still felt they didn't get where I'm coming from. I wanted to leave their side so much but I do know that I have nowhere to go. I want a fresh start but I'm treated too young for it but too old to stay welcomed in their house
There is another tact for a bully. This is for one that just doesn't get it--you ignore them, don't look at them, say nothing, and be polite no matter what. If that doesn't work, you have a real problem on your hands. If avoiding them doesn't work, you will need a body guard. The bully may need a hard lesson that you can't provide, no matter how good your intention is. You may need to recruit a friend or friends, perhaps the law. If all that doesn't work, you may have to hire a professional who can assist you.
Saw this right after my boyfriend and I had an argument as he made me feel like the most stupid person through his words. Thanks for the video and comments, greatly helped.
I'm in the middle of reading your book. I'm a fairly slow reader but can say it's already had a profound impact on me. Amazing how relatable it is. Thank you!
You can talk into a microphone and repeat what seneca has said, that whether we are offended or not is within our control, all you want-- but that's not realistic either. You cant completely not feel offended or angered by something directed at you or at someone you care about. Neither are under your control: not getting offended, nor making the world be nice. You can maximize society's kindess but you'll never make it complete, and just like kindness, you can only minimize feeling offended, but you wont completely be able to eradicate it. No one is unoffendable no matter how much they claim to be so.
Agree with you completely. Developing a thick skin is cool indeed (people are super easily offended), but if we only tell people to become thick-skinned and don't teach them to be at least a little bit respectful and considerate of others, we're goinng to end up being hateful towards each other. The words that you say are your responsibility too 😛
Most people aren't offendend by being called short for being short. They are offended because they are reminded by all the negative consequences they had to face for being short. Therefore the grrek argument falls flat.
@@sthoughtsarchive2791 Yes, you're right. You can be hateful and easily offended at the same time or nice and thick-skinned at the same time. I didn't mean to equal thick-skinned to hateful 🤔
"When we are insulted our ego is attacked this is a consequence of the story we tell ourselfs about ourselfs and how the world should be." Einzelganger
People do not choose how we get offended. If I feel it, you don’t get to say, it isn’t there. This logical approach is so maddening. Feeling offended is because we sense disrespect. People are not owning, they crossed a line.
But why do we feel disrespected? Are we aware of our ego? If we use the filters of “truth” or “nonsense”, we can then realize that we are only be insulted if we place a higher value in external opinions then our own. - لمى الشريف
Kareem Pinkston Maybe because we care about that other opinion. We shouldn’t. But maybe we cherish them. Maybe we want them to come around and own their wrong. Sometimes it doesn’t happen. Just got to live with that.
Ive gotten this suggestion and weirdly, I’m feeling highly sensitive and offended easily, by everything to a point when I don’t even have social relationships at all. I was very sociable, optimist but I’ve ended up rejecting everything and pushing everyone away. Not because I I’m not okay with the idea that we’re all different, but because of the baddest stuff that happened to me. It’s time to learn how to not care ❤️
People CHOOSE TO OFFENDED as it gives them power over others. It’s not true “offense”, it’s power and control. And the concern of “insults” is because when it’s used as smears as it’s so common today, so we are forced to depend ourselves against the untruths, because it matters what others think when it effects our lives directly, such as in romantic relationships and career etc
toxicity in the workplace is horrendous. I have great difficulty dealing with utterly ignorant and arrogant toxic people at work a difficulty which is amplified by ineffective management ...
I'm offended by child molesters. I would like to have power over them -- to make them stop their behaviors or gtfo before they can hurt anyone else. Is this fallacious? 'Thin-skinned'? I'm offended by anyone who has physically hurt my loved ones. Selfish brutes who think their dicks are more important than people's lives. Am I the one who's out of balance in this equation?
Agreed! Still, I think these days it's also what type of environment are you in: If you are in a place (digital or physical), where insults happen daily, the answer there is not to grow a thicker skin. First find a place, where you can analyze your reactions in peace. It won't be easy in the heat of the moment, more so if it happens often. And, never ever accept bullying and abuse!
actually i had this thing going on for me(and it worked flawlessly) UNTIL the one talking nonsense was someone important to me(or rather someone i wanted to understand me) and i exploded with frustration and talked nonsense myself
It takes a lot of work and time to rewire the brain but as long as you can reflect on self realization and step out of the matrix (even for a moment) it’s possible. Insight is key.
This is seriously good advice! Although, I can't help but wonder how I could apply it to my own situation; I'm having a bit of trouble with the application. Between the two "If what they say is reality, then why be offended by what can already be seen?" And "If what they say is nonsense, then you have no reason to be offended" I feel that my situation falls into the second category here. I'm always trying my best in things, or I do things as I go. Someone who thinks they are better than me and who thinks they have authority over me (when in fact we are equals, just different life circumstances) says to me that my best is not good enough and that I could be doing more. Shall I ignore it because it is nonsense? If I am to defend myself, how should I? I am always doing my own best and doing things as I go, so how can I give more than my best?
I had a great church service today which was concentrated on family dynamics and marriage especially geared towards millennials (26-40); I'm 30. At the end they prayed for me and in the prayer they included asking the Lord to help with a mind shift. And then after church, I come across your video. Thank God, and you thank you as well. I just ordered you're book and subscribed. 😁
Thanks man. Honestly what they need in school how to control and deal with your emotions. This is a huge thing in human development. It has held me back in life
As I mature and have experienced much life, I find being insulted requires way way way too much energy and effort. I do my best to not to be insensitive, being able to discern and not judge myself or another. Not attacking personally but just the behavior.
Most confrontations start from a misunderstanding. We live in a society that communicates with insinuations and assumptions. Throw in the fact that we all think and speak differently. Our insinuating remarks may seem like common knowledge to us. Yet another may misinterpret what was said. They now assume the worst and retaliate. Your now offended and the confrontation has began over nothing.
This is a very interesting comment to me. What you are describing here is the “Subjectivists” definition of “Truth”. Subjectivism is a doctrine, there are many doctrines and so many truths. In each doctrine Truth is concerned with quality, particularly and specifically the highest quality.
Bullies, whether at work, school,... use this tactic (insults) on those who are vulnerable, bcz they (bullies) know it works on this group of people, and they know how to properly use insults to get the results they desire. It is therefore, an ethical duty, to do the necessary to stop these evil people and their insults, especially if these insults are used regularly by an individual. This is to assure protection for those who still lack the strength to ignore or defend themselves against insults. Not everyone can be a stoic, and those who can, must make sure they use this power into stopping evil. Thanks for the content.
I have been learning so much from this amazing TH-cam channel you have created! You are clearly a very smart person! Thank you and I ordered your book discussed in this video yesterday and a stoic t- shirt a couple days ago.🙏
This is an excellent video. I have thick skin but when someone you love and highly admire insults you, it hurts. It shouldn’t be that way. Love empowers. Love nurtures. Love heals. Anything less isn’t love.
I find it can be overwhelming to continuously question the reason behind why we feel offended. It is often simpler to choose not to be offended in the first place. If the "insult" triggers an emotional reaction within us, its usually a sign of some truth. We can transmute this emotion into a lesson and create a path to improve or accept ourselves depending on our ability to change this truth.
You have been such an inspiration to me! Thank you for your research and time you have taken to share with the world the gift of self . I am looming forward to your book!
I think people get offended by the truth, because it may be something that they are already very aware of and struggle with and is out of their control. We all have insecurities, but people pointing them out maliciously in order to hurt others, is cruel, and I can’t blame others for being hurt by these comments. But it does say more about people who insult others, than it does about the person who is offended.
Thoroughly enjoyed this video. I've truthfully understand this via my anecdotal experience . Life becomes easier and you become more of a success than others that can't control themselves
This is the philosophy of resignation and surrender. Stand up for nobody else, be not bothered when others are mistreated. And when the cuffs tighten on your wrists, make no grimace. When the doors slam shut, do not flinch. You are so zen.
You know, I asked a sign if I should pursue writing my experience. Then I saw your video, this is maybe a sign that I should. I have this same experience, and I want to share my truth, and inspire others who experienced the "same" things as me. Keep providing videos that will really have a positive impact on other people's lives, without insults and judgment. I have a belief that you can choose your battle, but I lost myself. I am starting to return to the true core of me. People can really have a positive or negative impact on others. Thumbs up!
Check out Einzelgänger's book 'Stoicism for Inner Peace' here: einzelganger.co/innerpeace
Glad someone is bothering to teach Seneca's works & is sensible.
Even what you covered is very true about offence from Seneca's approach of ''Truth & nonsense''
I have always had a much simpler approach of accepting 'you are what you are''
If being told what you are upsets you then that is your problem & no one else's that say more then words ever could!
Risus meo puer. Laugh/smile my lad.
It works better then berating back in a pointless cycle.
Any supposed hardship can be light by laughter & smile:)
My mind & past is light, is yours out of curiosity dear reader?
"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray to be stronger man."
I pray to be a stronger man everyday day and *sigh* yet and still 🤣✌🏾🙏🏾✨
I pray to be stronger , happy and also easy life 😸
That's how a real men talks 🤟
Xi Jinping
That makes sense
I bet some one is going to get offended cause you said "man" and didnt include women.
And they get offended because you are not offended.
Oh yes 👏👏👏
SJWs in a nutshell
😂😂😂😂
Indeed and when dealing with a psychopathic individual it's wisest not to give them the emotional response they're looking for by displaying offence, it merely encourages them to continue their destructive behavior
Lol.
“It’s silly to escape other people’s faults, just try to escape your own” -Marcus Aurelius
I got the Amazon Kindle version of Einzelganger's book, "UNoffendable". Only $.99 - what a terrific value! Read the 1st pages and seems good.
amazing the words of a man who lived thousands of years ago is so relevant today
TheBrotherhood 2 yeah let’s learn about a man who rules on a high misogynistic culture (...) please stop this, it’s time to change, forget the patriarchal knowledge
MrSdsok cus our culture is based on that high misogyny old culture. And some people like the one that makes this video, think is funny to keep replicating something that is destroying our world and get womans in a second place
Dude I really dig your pfp. You might never see this, but I'll ask anyway: where is that pfp from?
"Everything is powerless without your reaction" - The Godfather.
So true
thank you for this
Guys i want to share my problem related to mental health, please help me.
First of all please READ MY FULL PROBLEM, EACH AND EVERY WORD CAREFULLY.
ITS A REQUEST.
my problem consists of some points
1). Many times while viewing other people opinions on many debatable topics like racism, feminism, castism etc.
I really got offended by just reading some opinions to which i do not agree, and i just wanted to argue with them and to correct them.
most of the times, people give some stupid opinions on these topics, when they know only half of the truth and that triggers me so much and gives me craving to just tell them the full truth and to correct them.
due to this sometimes i spend a lot of time on internet on just commenting to correct others in hope that they will see my comment and know the reality.
2)I also get triggered by the bad things happening in the world and also got triggered by the people reaction and opinions about those bad things.
example1 - i got triggered by people who blames a girl's clothes on getting assaulted.
example2 - i got triggered when people completely ignores the problems faced by men and say they have 0 problems, and blames men for every crime and ignores the fact that crime has no gender.
3)i also got very much sad and triggered by the poeple's DOUBLE STANDARDS,DOUBLE REACTONS AND HYPOCRISY on many situations.
people who say taxic or biased things.
example1- "people getting sad and hating a men beating a women, but they laughs and make jokes on women beating a men and does not support men".
example2- "people saying that boys should not hit girl but they are ok when someone hit a boy or, a girl hitting a boy and not realizing that violence is bad with both genders".
Example3- "people making abusive jokes on men are good, but people making jokes on women are sexist."
or when people react stupidly when they only know half of truth.
in these cases i just want to argue with people and make them know that they are wrong and they need to know the truth.
I also desperately wait for their replies to my comment to know their reaction to my statement or whether they agree with me or not.
I dont know why i care so much about other people opinions and indulge myself to correct them.
why i consider it my duty to wash of other's stupidness.?
but i want to say that i never disrespected anyone while arguing and i also accepted my defeat when someone destroyed my opinions and proved me wrong, and i also thanked him/her to correcting me.
and many times i also got man approvals and praises for what i have written.
so i do not have a EGO problems, i just want to argue with people who does not agree with me and i want to either defeat them or get defeated by them in debate of comments.
and this is exerting a negative affect in my life and making me sad and depressed in my real life by just thinking that "why people are like this,why dont they understand,why this world is so hypocritical and bad".
sometimes i even search for the youtube videos and comments in which i can find people who have negative opinions just to fight them and correct them.
i just want you to help me with this problem, and also suggest that when to argue(because a healthy and constructive debate is not a bad thing) and how not to get offended by different opinions on a debate, and how not be sad and negative after a heated debate.
Also i want to ask that when we should criticise other's mistakes, wrong statements and hypocrisy.
i just want to be carefree and do not give a f to what others think about a particular topic but i cannot stop myself to react to other people opinions and to correct them.
GUYS PLEASE GIVE A DETAILED SOLUTION.
@@swaroop2518 lol I laughed at this haha because I can relate I can easily explain it because I know this feeling I like to know that I fully understand what I feel because when others act negatively to me I do get physical but I realize that they're fools but I'm stupid for reacting because it makes think oh wow he pushed me just because of my words? They're the cowards even if I intimidated them and that was my brother who said that he called me a dumbass as well and I pushed him slightly I swear I didn't hurt him but my point in pushing him was to send him a message to not fuck with me or will punch him. So he stood like a tough ass trying to act as if I wasn't worth anything but he was a statue he wasn't either or me but after that I was joyful that I liked to think I intimidated him as he called me a dumbass for the last meat on the plate so he had no good reason to call me so I just left at that because I like to know that I won so. But yesterday my own mother cursed at me like a crazy beach and it did hurt me I only usually cry because she's christian and I keep thinking she's gentle kind she Can be but most of the time nah so when she cursed at me for turning on the lights because she had a fear of us being found out by the managers office because there was a truck outside our house like an employee of the community she turned me to turn off the lights and I turned them off and she said why did I then then off? So I turned them on again and she screamed at me so I turned them off again to me this was halirious because doing the contrary *by accident* of what others say makes me laugh because I didn't intentionally want to make her mad I just wanted to as she told me but after she cursed at me in 5 seconds I didn't say a word I left with a emotionless face and went to my room to lock it as my brother was just sitting there not paying attention my mother came to the door to say sorry and apologize that it is her own fault that she screamed at me and that me turning on the lights isn't my fault I didn't say anything because I would've cried because of my own thoughts thinking " she's my mother and I thought nobody else would hurt me I've been in another ways I would tell nobody not even my mother but i think her emotionally damaging me hurts the most* as I went Into my closet she couldn't come in the main door which is locked but my father came to the door to ask her why she yelled cursed at me she said that it is his fault for acting negatively towards me and she oh he's criying already which I did not and I do take pride that I did not because I usually do but because I completely ignored her and stopped overthinking it I didn't cry because for no reasons I think of ridiculous scenarios whenever something bad happens to me and I go mentally insane for a few seconds so I just stop talking to myself about it and instead if I want to go to someone else and other family. to me feminism doesn't matter I used to go out my way to just tell them that they're wrong I know they are as they barely have any sticks to stand on and most people are against them other women and men I care more misandrism because it's a bigger problem I told my uncle do you wanna hear a rape joke about women? And he said "no those aren't funny" not in a serious voice or face but in a way that wouldn't negative physical facial expression so I said "I asked you that because there's guys who joke about other men being raped" and he said "uuhhhh yeah I can see that makes sense" not that he supports any rape jokes but idk why I just leave sometimes as if it was a online discussion and withought saying goodbye I'ma play some video games now he knows.
@@grav3-jpeg yeah I don't need ta anymore lol.
"If they offend you, they control you"
True but incomplete.
In my experience, we need to fight back even harshly rude more than they do. They won't try more.
@@temmon8493 This could be a way to make them stop but then you're playing in their frame buddy. Don't let a few words make you mad in the first place.
Timmon- like that you will never be free, always reacting to others mistakes.
@@zainshaikh23 Yup, especially to narcissist.
My late grandfather taught me how to deal with people who are being offensive towards me. Stay silent and smile 😊. It’ll drive them crazy 😜
This is actually true and may I add, in most cases after said reaction, the offender usually does a U_turn becoming almost apologetic. Have a nice day buddy.
Ruth Jones... your grandfather was a very, very wise man...thanks for sharing his wisdom with us...i will use this tactic when someone tries to offend me..👏💐😀
This may work in person when they see you smile 😁😊😉 So u use emojis to get the idea across and nothing else?
Donna Woodford - yes, smiley 😊 emojis would work.
Ruth Jones my boss said the same thing to me about difficult customers, just be nice to them they don’t know what to do and it makes them feel awkward. It worked every time. 😄
The worst kind of offense is when ur own friends, f r i e n d s, are laughing at you, cursing at you and getting personal with the insults and jokes. And then when a third party comes along you immediately become the sensitive person in the group who can’t take a joke and ur told to ‘chill’ and that they’re just ‘roasting’ you and the ‘why so serious’ crap. Shit hurts man, if ur joking make it clear that you’re joking to the person you’re joking to ‘cause words can hurt like a bitch.
Petra Carrots I suggest you leave those friends for they’re toxic and most likely ignorant.
Those people are sad bitches and don't deserve your friendship.
That’s my siblings right there they roast me they know I don’t like it and don’t appreciate it but they do it anyways and then when I tell them to stop they say it’s a joke it’s like they are using the word joke to cover up their real intention
@Sustanaelle i also often fall into such conflicts, but don't know how to comeback good comment as they made. Also when you keep quiet it means you are accepting the thing what to do in that situation?
@Sustanaelle theres a diff between friendly teasing btw friend n insults
My belief is that if the person intentionally tries to offend you their opinion automatically loses any value to me anyhow.
Excellent content here too Sir! Peace & Prosperity
So how do you deal with some toxic(mildly) friends?
Get sad or just don't think about it
@@shubhamsagar9153 Once I know their true nature I put em on ice and deal with them only if it's essential
Agree
My experience is seldom are friends intentionally offensive or they won’t be your friends. If they are, YOU are the Problem. What happens is we take things too personally or we don’t allow another perspective into our life. More often than not, we get offended when friends get brutally frank and we may not be ready to accept the truth at that time, or simply, we have a different perspective but do not know how to express our truth effectively. So we are frustrated. It is then easier to blame and label others as toxic. Sure, friends can learn to be kinder with words. But up to us to draw the boundary of what is desirable in a friendship.
@@solecurious1448 My philosophy on this modern phenomena is that the people who use the word toxic to describe others, are usually the most toxic people going.
In my country, we have a saying. "Words only matter depending on who says them in relation to you."
Only I can decide who can offend me. In my case it's only people who know me extremely well and if I want to.
Very wise. Which country are you from?
cp1925 words only hurt if you allow them.
I like that expression.
My parents do. It gets me confused. I don't know how to properly deal with it because ignorance worsens the insults and speaking your mind means disrespect.
@@Neopolitan_Illusion Maybe figure out what you're doing wrong? Maybe you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing? And if it's not your fault then, move out? And visit them once in a while to make sure they're fine. Never abandon parents, no matter how disagreeable they are.
"To the thin-skinned man, everything hurts," me to me.
I know. It's sad when we realize it's what the world demands from everyone, but it's also something worth preserving to stay human
You’re confusing thick-skinned with empathy. Some people can be inured to insults but have empathy. Only those who lacked it are selfish and cold-hearted.
@@malldeer498 My observation and experience has shown me when people let their feelings be their guide they suffer greatly because those feelings always change. Things they hear are taken to be about them as though their toes had been stepped on. They harden their hearts with resentment and selfishness. When I develop a "thick skin" attitude I can then slow my reactions to the point I don't retaliate. Time softens the blows and encourages the heart to so soften. My comment was meant to remind myself to not take myself so seriously. A very wise person once told me, "develop a thick skin so you can keep a soft heart. So far its helping. Thank you for your comment.
It Hurts because you are attached to your body which is not yours in the ultimate sense.can you tell your body not to die?we are spirit using the body for this lifetime, if you're attach to the body,the more we suffer.that's why spiritual seekers don't beautify their bodies like monks and nuns.
American millennials in a nutshell
We can't deny it. Being offended is part of the human experience. Embrace it. Unpack it. Di-sect it. The question is how are we going to react to the offense.
Dissect ;)
React? if we reacted so often no wonder there is so much people with unstable psychics.
geishasecrets being aware adds dept and room so u can c yr life fully, n some perspective it seems to slow down jus a tad
Everyone may feels offended at some point, but people who are easily offended have a problem that only they can solve.
Or how long are we going to stay offended...
In my experience, embracing and dissecting the offense has led me to spend less and less time being offended. I may not have a "thicker skin", but at least I know it's a momentary feeling.
This is EXACTLY what I needed before heading to the fam's for the holidays :)
Kira learns Norwegian OMG, me toooo😅😂😂😅👍
Aww I feel the same way but its hurts more from People like family because they are "supposed" to care...
Honestly the only people who offend are moms family, I just can't stand a word being directed at me and literally everything just rubs me off in the wrong way.
😂😂
@@tashisls7041 So true.
It feels like the people who needs to watch this arent the people watching this
Ikr
God damn, that made me laugh but at the same time, good point my man
Surely its still hard to deal with some things, we are just humans, not sages 🙄
😅
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer
"He who walks with anger, walks without dignity" - Samurai Jack.
Nice
Goddamn
Hit me like a brick
For me, I find that feeling insulted comes largely from seeking the validation of others, and people want you to seek their approval and validation as a means of enforcing groupthink and controlling you. The problem is that I reject groupthink and people’s validation, as I think that my own happiness is more important, and I insist on being free to think for myself because that’s the only way that I can have peace and happiness. If something that someone is saying or doing does nothing to bring anymore joy or happiness to my life during my short time here, then I just don’t care. Internal validation and prioritizing your own happiness go a long way towards minimizing the impact of insults.
I can’t tell if this is coming from a humble perspective or narcissistic perspective🤔
@@CallMeKittyRawrr Individualism isn’t necessarily narcissism. This comment is fine by me.
aside from the fact that you somehow got the definition of groupthink completely wrong, your opinion is somewhat correct.
@@CallMeKittyRawrr I think you could, somewhat, be reading between the lines. I think they are mainly on the right line of thinking. Although, I think you need the humility to sometimes be able to ask whether a criticism is true.
@@CallMeKittyRawrr You could if you understood what narcissism actually is.
i needed this. its hard to talk to others about how you are easily offended as everyone associates it with weakness
Dear Einzelgänger, you got me fall in love with stoicism and it changed my whole life. Thank you for that, and keep up your good work!
Greetings from germany
PilgrimsGold - Ditto that.
Still not falling in love. But it`s already my emotional crush. Probably future emotional marriage. Let`s see. Greetings from Brazil.
I really needed this. I’ve been defending myself with some quick witted humor but when I’m alone I tend to dwell on feeling (offended) when really i had no need to. It’s funny how the mind works, but it’s always better when you know how to work the mind.
Thank you.
Yes, I find humour works to lower tension with a person, though it can sometimes make them madder - but that's on them. I find some people are very mean in comments. If someone calls you a terrible word, or tells you to F off, you can ignore it, or reply: "If you say so," or, "Well, that's just GOOD advice."
I think the important thing here is to remember that this is *for you* and not for other people around you. Going into this with the wrong intention of _looking_ more confident and cool around others will defeat the purpose of it. You need to truly do this for your own mental health and not a place of ego where you want to one up someone by making them think you don't care because that in and of itself is caring.
Good point. That’s the trap I always did, and sometimes still do, fall into. Social anxiety since a young age has contributed to that I think.
People who claim to have "thick skin" just havent been properly insulted.
Haha, Oh my god love this comment!!!
😂
Ha ha ha ha good one :-D
chewface 😆🤓
I've tested this theory and... YES! Correct.
I needed to hear this in order to face my extended family again. They're a special kind of evil that likes tearing other ppl down for their own entertainment and I refuse to grant them the satisfaction of letting them see me affected by their insults. I have limited my exposure to them to the bare minimum but there will be times that seeing them can't be avoided. So I just have to handle the situation better. Hope everyone who's feeling similar sentiments keeps holding on! You're not alone
I don't think people get offended because "words hurt."
Insult can be anything from a playful jab, a verbal spar for fun, or a repetitive, reputation-ruining slander campaign.
It's cheeky to get on a pedestal and pretend that we can just dismiss what people say of us.
When insults become the platform for denying someone the support they deserve, or when malicious lies confound our relationships to one another, that's the kind of behavior we should be punishing.
"Just don't get offended" does not suffice, some people will weaponize their words to influence law and government.
You are absolutely right.People who slander or insult if are not corrected in the beginning they can turn into demons.
I really didn't get thise
@humankinda while you can attempt to communicate or regulate, you have no control over the outcome of that attempt. Because people, in order to respond to regulation, must be not only very self reflecting but also open/willing to change. And that is not under your control. To me, that's the foremost message of stoicism. Not to renounce entirely from trying to change others applying reason, but to know that their response to it is not under your control. But that's maybe just my approach or interpretation, anyway.
@@juliaf.9243 ,
Agree.
@@peacebe2u480 🙏🏼🌺
Not expecting everybody to be nice was the hardest pill to swallow for me. Thanks! I needed this reality check. 😊 People should be allowed to exist as they are, even if they were raised badly.
It's crazy how much every video talk directly to me... Thank you for the excellent work!
I feel the same way, Renato.
In my opinion, the deep root of feeling offended at an insult is this: Regardless of whether the offending statement is truth or nonsense, the very fact that the offender chooses to make the statement implies that he/she thinks of you as someone to whom he/she can make such a statement. In other words, It’s not the actual content of the insult that hurts, it’s the implicit statement saying “I think you’re so weak, that I freely allow myself to make fun of your baldness”.
Then it makes you angry: “who is this person and why did they pick me?” How would one respond in that situation other than taking offense?
CosmicScribe1 Good question. I don’t know. In my experience, the closer the person is to you, the harder it becomes to deal with it, because those who are close to you will say something that always has a grain of truth to it, even if it’s completely out of context. I think, deep down, taking offense at any statement ultimately has to do with the fear of not being regarded as a dignified living being worthy of respect (whatever respect means). That’s why I find the content of this video extremely shallow, and I doubt the book will be any deeper.
Then why be offended?feel pity for that person as they r the ones who are weak
@@studentofspacetime if ur friend doesnt respect u then ditch them.toxic relationships is not the same as some small thing offending u.u will feel better in ur mind once the negativity is gone n u will make new more deserving friends in future
@@stopgotdamndeletingmycomme8642 I think it comes down to insecurity. When you have insecurities, you can get triggered by others.
Becoming "unoffendable" will not come about by logical thinking along the lines of this video IMO. More likely it will require inner transformation at the emotional level.
Dude my skin became so much thicker I gained +4 in my armor stat
I never get offended. I Know when people are trying to provoke me for a reaction that I will not be giving them.
yep. i think it's better to think of it that way. thanks for saying this.
agreed. when my friends and i get into an argument and try to provoke a reaction, i simply just read the message and respond nothing
wish i had that ability
just remember to try to not listen to the haters. be strong. the only reason their saying those stuff is because they have no life. they have nothing better to do. they want to see you suffer. don’t let that happen. if they offend you, you’re giving them power. they only get offended if you don’t get offended. god bless all of you.
Well said well said. I know I’m late but I can’t help but to agree with you as that’s how I truly feel. Family issue between me and the oldest sister. I always thought she was a spineless pitiful soul because her waking life she is miserable and because I am so honest and not fake she can’t stand me for that. So she tries to make up lots of lies and tell other ppl who I don’t care for nor like bullshit stories. And so that person makes comments as to try and offend me and try to see me suffer because they r pathetic and have a miserable life. 😂😂😬😬😬😬😬😬😬 both have a miserable marriage and they r stuck in it they r not happy with their marriage so they try to find anybody to drag them with them as misery loves company 😂😂ain’t that the truth!
@@babydollers2586 well said.
Thanks for subtitles. From northeast Brazil. Great video. Congratulations.
This was an awesome reminder about the ego. We tell a story about ourselves and get offended when reality doesn’t match.
We all live in our own bubbles and we have a special place for us in that world. Things get nasty when the reality check that you are just a nobody in a world full of crazies. lol... Ego is really really harmful at times.
I always enjoy your videos & try daily to implement your advice, definitely helps to know I'm not alone in my aloneness. Your book will be my Christmas gift to myself 🙂
Such a wonderful set of videos! Thank you for these! The whole turn the other cheek thing was a huge revelation to me. Raised as an American Christian, I was taught to believe that was literal. Your interpretation of not allowing ourselves to be offended makes so much more sense and makes me sad for all of the millions of us who didn't understand the true meaning of turn the other cheek. The Bible should come with historical footnotes to give true context to the crap that is misinterpreted from it.
“ What other people think of me is none of my business. “
@Different 1 couldn't of said it better myself
I've been struggling with this ever since i was growing up. I can't help it, I do get offended even if it doesn't really matter eventually at all. Right now, I'm trying to somehow find a way to change this way of thinking cause right now, I live in a competitive world. Hopefully this types of videos is gonna help me through it. And with practice of course.
Hey, How are you doing now?
How do you practice
When i scolded people.. they told me not to offend other people n to be nice...
when i get offended by people who scolded me they tell me not to get offended...
I dont understand...
Hahaha.. bimsayaniaable, funny n true... both are correct advice n both are wrong, both are neither wrong nor wrong. That is the answer. Hahaha
Just bought the book. Appreciating the content☺️
90% of this generation needs this
Correct
cringe take for someone with an anime profile pic. grow up.
@@SunSunSunn you’re mad at someone with an anime profile? That’s not even an anime profile.Your profile is a picture, not who you are. What does a profile have to do with saying that. we have more important things to do and I believe you do to. So get away from your device and enjoy your life instead of using up your Precious energy ruining someone else’s for there profile. Have a beautiful day.
THANK YOU FOR THIS. Can't express how much I adore the idea of picking apart insults based on truth.
See insults as something funny. Laugh at them.
SCG SHOW then I'll laugh at you!
Thats a good one
I see the crying wojak behind the smug wojak mask
......and then smash their faces onto a god damned toilet seats
People don’t understand that you ultimately give the insulter the ability to offend you. For all of you who don’t understand that and get angry, I feel sorry for you because you’re still a prisoner to you basic emotions.
Over the years I've learned to avoid using the word YOU in potential confrontations.
Ive lived a life of not being offended for YEARS. Its the best feeling ever, I live peacfully.
Perfect video to get ready for family meals these Christmas! Thanks! ;)
I seriously don't know how people can dislike this guys videos....
They take it as an insult ;)
@@WolfgangVonKempelen838 They're the ones who _want_ to be offended.
@@NigelUltra There is a word for those people.
@@WolfgangVonKempelen838 Sno - sno - sno - sno - snowflakes, amirite?
@@NigelUltra Well it goes together with Christmas ;)
Thank you for your videos, they help me in a time were I was highly depressed. Stoics wisdom helps me find balance and peace with in me
Stoicism is basically applying your emotional intelligence in every situation.
Katie Velez stoicism is one of the fuels of patriarchy. Please don’t study, it’s the worst
@@lupusACcorax really?? Can you explain more??
@@lupusACcorax no
@@lupusACcorax no
THIS IS AN AMAZING VIDEO, JUST PURCHASED YOUR BOOK, NEEDED THIS, SO GLAD I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL
I saw the late Wayne Dyer a few yrs back. He was the first to point out the fact many people love to be offended. They look for ways to find offense. Avoid and don't try to please them.
I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH YOU HERE, HOWEVER, THE "OTHER CHEEK" IS SORE. I WILL TAKE BAD ENERGY AS A GIFT AND TRANSFORM IT INTO GOOD ENERGY FOR MY OWN USE. I LIKE YOUR VIDEOS VERY MUCH. YOU'RE A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART ACTUALLY.
Not many are able to transform negativity into something positive!
Have you read "the coddling of the American mind" it's an interesting book that covers topics like this.
Stoic and Taoists have share many many experiences... nice video
A lot of people try to act like they don’t care. Those are the ones that care the most.
Not necessarily. Some actually don't give a duck.
@@gauravr1796 people who don't care wouldn't mention all the time that they don't care
It's true
@@Moth-ManRemasters what if someone doesn't mention it?
After working in customer service for 20 years the art of not being offended is one you have to practice. I have calmed many very angry people down on the phone. One called me a cunt. It didn't phase me. They don't know me.
Pointless to be upset yet, you re human it hurts sometimes when a customer rips you apart. Anyone really. Then I remember Bob Ross, Happy Trees.🌲🌲
Then it slowly disappears.
Those years of customer service has served me well. I encourage people to try it even for a year. One the phone and face to face. That's how you practice this Art the best. When people don't see you as famous or special just there. You both are. Having a conversation. Solving a problem if possible or just listening.
It does help.
I think our grandparents were just as easily offendable and in large groups too, just about different things.
Tahtahme's Diary i agree but they would be more offended to respectful things like religion, common manners, parents (who are good to you), etc
Elijah Smith
you are probably right there Elijah.
we live bombarded now by social media and crap.
not good really
@Janet Baker Not true. Religious people have always been easily offended on behalf of their religion. The stereotype Muslim might get more offended about things regarding their religion than the stereotype Christian because today the stereotype Muslim is more conservative / traditional than the stereotype Christian (of Europe at least). But go back 200-300 years in Europe and Christians got easily offended too on trivial issues. Go back even further and the Inquisition killed and tortured thousands upon thousands for various offences deemed an insult to Christianity. Heck most people got more easily offended, not just religious people. Men would challenge other men to a duel, a letal fight, if they thought a trivial insult, like a provocative remark, had violated their honor. Why? Because people expected them too, because honor and pride permeated many aspects of society. And thus, it doesn't take much to get offended in such a society.
@Janet Baker You're the dumbest person on here. Looks like you really haven't been paying attention to this channel. Nothing but another insecure person who chooses to pigeonhole all Muslims into one box because her life is too passive, easily affected by that which the media feeds her. Your "othering" scheme is just a reflection of how easily offended you are by your perverted view of the world that you've chosen to turn a blind eye to reality.
Saw this after a typical " conversation " with my mother that as usual dissolves into a fight . Synchronicity
Dangerous Mistake Exactly! Some morons just keep yapping and don’t know when to stop.
Same AHAHA
Even my mother is a narcissist. So i try not to talk with her.
@@tashilhamu4510 i hope you get to a better place far from them and live a good life!
Love Youre mother Aldo no one is perfect forgive her allways qwickly and love her even when she upset then you Will have caracter and wisdom 💪
Probably not correct, but I choose to kill with kindness. That is my nature. Who knows what the person is going through? I never escalate because it doesn't lead to a successful outcome.
You are right, it is good to give someone the benefit of the doubt, they may really be going through something when they are saying offensive things.
What if it's your parents?
Ignorance worsens the insults and speaking your mind means disrespect. I actually managed to remove the anger to communicate the thoughts clearly, I still felt they didn't get where I'm coming from.
I wanted to leave their side so much but I do know that I have nowhere to go. I want a fresh start but I'm treated too young for it but too old to stay welcomed in their house
How about you are going through something in your life and there this kind of people bully you what to do
There is another tact for a bully. This is for one that just doesn't get it--you ignore them, don't look at them, say nothing, and be polite no matter what. If that doesn't work, you have a real problem on your hands. If avoiding them doesn't work, you will need a body guard. The bully may need a hard lesson that you can't provide, no matter how good your intention is. You may need to recruit a friend or friends, perhaps the law. If all that doesn't work, you may have to hire a professional who can assist you.
I can relate to that
I wish someone would insult me now so I can be unoffended.
You're beautiful
Bistch 😣
haha love it
😅
Saw this right after my boyfriend and I had an argument as he made me feel like the most stupid person through his words. Thanks for the video and comments, greatly helped.
I hope you're ok ^^
I'm in the middle of reading your book. I'm a fairly slow reader but can say it's already had a profound impact on me. Amazing how relatable it is. Thank you!
You can talk into a microphone and repeat what seneca has said, that whether we are offended or not is within our control, all you want-- but that's not realistic either. You cant completely not feel offended or angered by something directed at you or at someone you care about.
Neither are under your control: not getting offended, nor making the world be nice.
You can maximize society's kindess but you'll never make it complete, and just like kindness, you can only minimize feeling offended, but you wont completely be able to eradicate it.
No one is unoffendable no matter how much they claim to be so.
Agree with you completely. Developing a thick skin is cool indeed (people are super easily offended), but if we only tell people to become thick-skinned and don't teach them to be at least a little bit respectful and considerate of others, we're goinng to end up being hateful towards each other. The words that you say are your responsibility too 😛
Most people aren't offendend by being called short for being short.
They are offended because they are reminded by all the negative consequences they had to face for being short. Therefore the grrek argument falls flat.
@@xx-ze2zt being hateful doesn't equal thick skinned at all
@@sthoughtsarchive2791 Yes, you're right. You can be hateful and easily offended at the same time or nice and thick-skinned at the same time. I didn't mean to equal thick-skinned to hateful 🤔
John,
U use your own shirt measurement to measure others' size. It is incorrect statement you made.
"When we are insulted our ego is attacked this is a consequence of the story we tell ourselfs about ourselfs and how the world should be." Einzelganger
When we were kids we couldn’t speak our minds because no one wanted to hear what we had to say, that’s still true unless you are a genius
Postive thinking, goals, loveing yourself with peace of mind.
People do not choose how we get offended.
If I feel it, you don’t get to say, it isn’t there.
This logical approach is so maddening.
Feeling offended is because we sense disrespect.
People are not owning, they crossed a line.
But why do we feel disrespected? Are we aware of our ego? If we use the filters of “truth” or “nonsense”, we can then realize that we are only be insulted if we place a higher value in external opinions then our own. - لمى الشريف
Kareem Pinkston
Maybe because we care about that other opinion.
We shouldn’t.
But maybe we cherish them.
Maybe we want them to come around and own their wrong.
Sometimes it doesn’t happen.
Just got to live with that.
Death's Shadow 99 Skullface
It’s a sign that you care.
The whole stoic philosophy teaches us how to be selfish, non emotional and cold beings.
Thank you for showing Indonesia in your video! Love from Indonesia ♥️🤗 🇮🇩
“Our Great War’s a spiritual war,”
Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club (1999)
Ive gotten this suggestion and weirdly, I’m feeling highly sensitive and offended easily, by everything to a point when I don’t even have social relationships at all. I was very sociable, optimist but I’ve ended up rejecting everything and pushing everyone away. Not because I I’m not okay with the idea that we’re all different, but because of the baddest stuff that happened to me. It’s time to learn how to not care ❤️
People CHOOSE TO OFFENDED as it gives them power over others. It’s not true “offense”, it’s power and control. And the concern of “insults” is because when it’s used as smears as it’s so common today, so we are forced to depend ourselves against the untruths, because it matters what others think when it effects our lives directly, such as in romantic relationships and career etc
toxicity in the workplace is horrendous. I have great difficulty dealing with utterly ignorant and arrogant toxic people at work a difficulty which is amplified by ineffective management ...
k k stop trying to bend the world to ur will and just control ur emotions to it instead. (I’m being sarcastic)
I'm offended by child molesters. I would like to have power over them -- to make them stop their behaviors or gtfo before they can hurt anyone else. Is this fallacious? 'Thin-skinned'?
I'm offended by anyone who has physically hurt my loved ones. Selfish brutes who think their dicks are more important than people's lives. Am I the one who's out of balance in this equation?
Thank you, Thank you! I've listen to you twice today and plan to listen more tomorrow.
I am currently reading your book on kindle ❤ I love it so far
Agreed! Still, I think these days it's also what type of environment are you in: If you are in a place (digital or physical), where insults happen daily, the answer there is not to grow a thicker skin. First find a place, where you can analyze your reactions in peace. It won't be easy in the heat of the moment, more so if it happens often. And, never ever accept bullying and abuse!
actually i had this thing going on for me(and it worked flawlessly)
UNTIL the one talking nonsense was someone important to me(or rather someone i wanted to understand me) and i exploded with frustration and talked nonsense myself
Thank you for sharing this!!! A lot of people need it!!! It has gone too far.
when you grow up in a foreign household you skin has no other option but to be thick
Rachel Meniboon 😂😂
Yes lmao
It takes a lot of work and time to rewire the brain but as long as you can reflect on self realization and step out of the matrix (even for a moment) it’s possible. Insight is key.
This is seriously good advice! Although, I can't help but wonder how I could apply it to my own situation; I'm having a bit of trouble with the application.
Between the two "If what they say is reality, then why be offended by what can already be seen?" And "If what they say is nonsense, then you have no reason to be offended" I feel that my situation falls into the second category here.
I'm always trying my best in things, or I do things as I go. Someone who thinks they are better than me and who thinks they have authority over me (when in fact we are equals, just different life circumstances) says to me that my best is not good enough and that I could be doing more.
Shall I ignore it because it is nonsense? If I am to defend myself, how should I? I am always doing my own best and doing things as I go, so how can I give more than my best?
I had a great church service today which was concentrated on family dynamics and marriage especially geared towards millennials (26-40); I'm 30. At the end they prayed for me and in the prayer they included asking the Lord to help with a mind shift. And then after church, I come across your video. Thank God, and you thank you as well. I just ordered you're book and subscribed. 😁
We get offended by truth cuz we don’t accept ourselves as it is.
Thanks man. Honestly what they need in school how to control and deal with your emotions. This is a huge thing in human development. It has held me back in life
As I mature and have experienced much life, I find being insulted requires way way way too much energy and effort. I do my best to not to be insensitive, being able to discern and not judge myself or another. Not attacking personally but just the behavior.
Most confrontations start from a misunderstanding. We live in a society that communicates with insinuations and assumptions. Throw in the fact that we all think and speak differently. Our insinuating remarks may seem like common knowledge to us. Yet another may misinterpret what was said. They now assume the worst and retaliate. Your now offended and the confrontation has began over nothing.
“Accept truth and reject nonsense.” But what is truth if not one man’s subjective nonsense? Isn’t it all nonsense in the end🤷🏾♀️
That's honesty. There's honesty and then there's truth. Honesty is subjective. Truth is unwavering it's truth whether you see it or not.
Risingofthephoenixx x nice said
Why did I learned not to trust the truth? Ooh, because of the facts
This is a very interesting comment to me. What you are describing here is the “Subjectivists” definition of “Truth”. Subjectivism is a doctrine, there are many doctrines and so many truths. In each doctrine Truth is concerned with quality, particularly and specifically the highest quality.
Somebody’s woke 😊❤️✌🏾
Bullies, whether at work, school,... use this tactic (insults) on those who are vulnerable, bcz they (bullies) know it works on this group of people, and they know how to properly use insults to get the results they desire.
It is therefore, an ethical duty, to do the necessary to stop these evil people and their insults, especially if these insults are used regularly by an individual. This is to assure protection for those who still lack the strength to ignore or defend themselves against insults.
Not everyone can be a stoic, and those who can, must make sure they use this power into stopping evil.
Thanks for the content.
this is great advice, I never really get offended anymore
I have been learning so much from this amazing TH-cam channel you have created! You are clearly a very smart person! Thank you and I ordered your book discussed in this video yesterday and a stoic t- shirt a couple days ago.🙏
Everyone has the right to their opinion and everyone has the right to feel how they wanna feel[.]
This is an excellent video. I have thick skin but when someone you love and highly admire insults you, it hurts. It shouldn’t be that way. Love empowers. Love nurtures. Love heals. Anything less isn’t love.
True true true ❤
just ordered the book on amazon! love your videos dude :) keep it up
I find it can be overwhelming to continuously question the reason behind why we feel offended.
It is often simpler to choose not to be offended in the first place.
If the "insult" triggers an emotional reaction within us, its usually a sign of some truth.
We can transmute this emotion into a lesson and create a path to improve or accept ourselves depending on our ability to change this truth.
I think the whole of twitter needs to watch this rn.
You have been such an inspiration to me! Thank you for your research and time you have taken to share with the world the gift of self . I am looming forward to your book!
Thanks, Catalina!
I think people get offended by the truth, because it may be something that they are already very aware of and struggle with and is out of their control. We all have insecurities, but people pointing them out maliciously in order to hurt others, is cruel, and I can’t blame others for being hurt by these comments. But it does say more about people who insult others, than it does about the person who is offended.
This saved my life in so many ways. Applying it to myself so many months now
"Logically impossible to get offended."
Now that is something.
Thoroughly enjoyed this video. I've truthfully understand this via my anecdotal experience . Life becomes easier and you become more of a success than others that can't control themselves
This is the philosophy of resignation and surrender. Stand up for nobody else, be not bothered when others are mistreated. And when the cuffs tighten on your wrists, make no grimace. When the doors slam shut, do not flinch. You are so zen.
You know, I asked a sign if I should pursue writing my experience. Then I saw your video, this is maybe a sign that I should. I have this same experience, and I want to share my truth, and inspire others who experienced the "same" things as me. Keep providing videos that will really have a positive impact on other people's lives, without insults and judgment. I have a belief that you can choose your battle, but I lost myself. I am starting to return to the true core of me. People can really have a positive or negative impact on others. Thumbs up!
Perfect. Just what I wanted to see.
I WAS LOOKING FOR IT HOLYSHIT I WATCHED A VIDEO OF A BRAZILIAN CHANNEL AND I WAS LOOKING FOR THESES QUOTES THANK YOU!