TRANS MEN ARE NOT LESBIANS | BUTCH VS TRANSMASC

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 มิ.ย. 2024
  • In this video, I talk about the definitions of masculinity for trans men versus the definition of masculinity for butch lesbians, and how "just being a tom boy" is not enough for trans men. I hope to see you in the comments!
    LIKE & SUB if you enjoyed the video + let me know what you think in the comments below!
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ความคิดเห็น • 57

  • @ShiningAroha
    @ShiningAroha 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    For 22 years, I identified as a lesbian. I figured it was too late to come out as a trans man because I had lived some of my adult life as a woman...I have been out for 3 months and have realized that I am attracted to both cis women and trans men.

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      i realised i was bisexual after starting testosterone!

    • @ShiningAroha
      @ShiningAroha 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@aktdoa Ah, so I'm not the only person to feel that way. I figure it's a natural process of becoming my real self.

    • @erinsymone1645
      @erinsymone1645 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So you are exclusively attracted to females and are thus still a lesbian.

  • @WHU-lz7gq
    @WHU-lz7gq 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    As a butch lesbian i agree with you. I am a woman who is very masculine but i am very happy as a female. When people tell me im trying to be a man it makes me feel angry because i am a woman dispite how i look and act. When i was a teenager i thought that i was supposed to be a man because i didnt fit in with any women around me. I had never seen a butch lesbian before so i felt like i either had the choice of accepting that i was a woman and going feminine or becoming a man. It wasnt until i saw other women like me that i knew butch lesbians existed and everything made sense. I have a lot of transgender friends and i understand and respect their identity and i really appreciate when people talk about the distinction between butch lesbians and FTM transgender people. I love this video it's great 👍

  • @sahirahvasquez6211
    @sahirahvasquez6211 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    I started testosterone very very recently (like 3 days ago recently) and in the hour leading up to my appointment, I had a very sudden jolt of anxiety- I wondered if I was faking, was like "why am I doing this, what's going on", and was questioning whether I'd regret the decision. The thing that sticks out most sorely to me though is that *I am not a woman*. That's plain as day. I indentify as nonbinary, but I'd rather be read as male over being read as female. And I have no gripes at all with any of the permanent changes that taking testosterone will cause. And when I tell you how happy I felt after taking my first shot...that can't be faked. I'm not a woman. Whatever I am, I'm not that.

    • @purpledaydreamer9682
      @purpledaydreamer9682 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Congrats to you! I feel very similar. I started 2 weeks ago today and it took me a loooonggggg time to make the decision. But the relief and joy I felt the second I started T was the sign I was waiting for that I made the right decision :)

    • @pvltergeist
      @pvltergeist 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      The first time I tried to pursue T, I got cold feet and didn’t try again until 6 years later and even then I was STILL questioning if I was making the right decision. What stood out to me was the vocabulary I was using, asking myself why I couldn’t just “pretend” to be a woman. I started T three weeks ago and I just feel so… settled. Congrats to you! You’re not alone.

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      congrats on starting testosterone, that’s amazing! i’m glad you were able to push through the anxious moments, even i had those before starting T and it can be really difficult to work through those types of thoughts (especially when so many people are hellbent on convincing trans people we’ll regret our transition).

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      congrats on starting!

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      as soon as you recognise “hey, i don’t think a cis person would even consider doing this (starting HRT, getting surgery etc)”, BAM all the anxiety goes away

  • @Abi-pd7be
    @Abi-pd7be 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Lets have this conversation again in fifteen years.

  • @girlinbed
    @girlinbed 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Hey Dakota, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your videos. It takes some courage to be open and vulnerable on the internet. I am sure that your videos have supported a good amount of people. So thank you

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I appreciate that! thank u v much

  • @cc2345
    @cc2345 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I have been a tomboy my entire life. At the ripe old age of 21 I feel like I might be transmasc. I feel like a man but I dont want to be a man exactly. This was very helpful thanks

  • @AlixInSalem
    @AlixInSalem 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Thank you so much! I deeply appreciate this video. Not alot of creators touch on this topic. I’m happy there’s now a video that touches on this topic. I appreciate your help in explaining these things. It’s very helpful. Keep up the great work!👍🏾 😊❤ Happy Holidays! 🕎🎄☃️

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank you for the recommendation! I hope I covered the topic well and answered some of your questions 😅

  • @briannamay5459
    @briannamay5459 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    My experience as a trans woman.
    "Why do you have to transition?? Why can't you just be a feminine gay man??"
    "Cuz I'm not a gay man, I'm a straight woman. Duh"

    • @zvezda4701
      @zvezda4701 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Or in my case, "because I'm a butch bi woman, not a femboy!"
      I also happen to be a trans woman like you, except my presentation has led to me being needlessly scrutinized and invalidated

  • @3bah4y
    @3bah4y 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    I just saw a TikTok of a “he/they butch transmasc lesbian on T” and the comment section was filled with people saying, “omg I’m a lesbian and on T too!!” I couldn’t believe it.

  • @113nightbird
    @113nightbird 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video Dakota! Merry Christmas! :)

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you!

  • @omniacontrariasunt
    @omniacontrariasunt 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thank you so much for making this video, it's very needed in my opinion, even though I really don't get why this is such a hard thing to understand.
    happy holidays to you too, I hope they'll be great for you :)

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I’m glad you enjoyed the video!

  • @theSupercasa
    @theSupercasa หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The height thing: straight men are also very much sensitive about their height. They are HELLBENT on appearing 6 foot. If you call them "short king" they will get absolutely furious. And it’s not like transitioning makes you any taller, does it?

  • @Alex_...34565
    @Alex_...34565 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    wow i just saw your first trans haircut video before (first video i saw of you) didnt expect your voice to drop THAT much XD

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      been on T since 2017, i hope it would’ve dropped by then!!

  • @_Cloudevil_
    @_Cloudevil_ 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Tramsmasc and transmen are not the same thing tho

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      yes, in this video i use some blanket terminology to avoid confusion

  • @pussinbootsisme8983
    @pussinbootsisme8983 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    what are your thoughts about trans men who dress and act like feminine women and don't want any T or surgeries and said that they don't experience dysphoria yet identify as a man? I'm quite confused about this topic To be honest and I wanna open my mind to people like this because I don't get it as a binary trans male

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I think that would have to be an entirely separate video - not really something I could cover in a single comment tbh!

  • @RB-hl3ux
    @RB-hl3ux 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    😊great video😊

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      thank you!

  • @babyheart1996
    @babyheart1996 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Ok but like what ab when I look like a transboy cause my chest is flat ✨ nonbinary boy 💪🏻

  • @stutteringtom1
    @stutteringtom1 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Internalized homophobia misogyny and stereotypes

  • @coolrabi9534
    @coolrabi9534 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    👹i wanted to be first bruh. Guess I am second

    • @coolrabi9534
      @coolrabi9534 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Im such a degenerate

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      second isn’t bad, you’re still on the podium!

  • @lyonclaws5737
    @lyonclaws5737 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    transmasc can be, but trans men are not :p

  • @danielgillespie7899
    @danielgillespie7899 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Transgender movement: Misogyny? Check. Homophobia? Check.

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Where’s the misogyny? Or the homophobia? Point out to me where I said anything along those lines is this video.

    • @danielgillespie7899
      @danielgillespie7899 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@aktdoa Saying you're not a woman is an act of misogyny. Saying you're not a lesbian is an act of homophobia. What's wrong with being a woman? What's wrong with being a lesbian? And before you even try and claim that you just don't "feel" like a woman and/or lesbian, let me stop you right there. For you to not "feel" like a woman and/or a lesbian you would have to know how other women feel about being women and how other lesbians feel about being lesbians. Which is impossible for you to know because you're not them. As a gay man I'm sick of the transgender movement. I'm sick of the homophobia. And I'm sick of women LARPing as men. You're not a man. You're not. Get over it. There's nothing wrong with being a masculine woman. And this is where the homophobia comes in. Your movement tells young gays and lesbians that being a masculine woman or an feminine man isn't acceptable. That homosexuality itself isn't acceptable and is an act of so-called "transphobia". And that gays and lesbians need to be "fixed" by transitioning. Or at the very least they need to be compelled to have sexual relations with trans people. The homophobia I observe and experience from the transgender movement and so-called "transgender" people is so much worse than anything I observe and experience from conservatives. You are part of a disgraceful movement and I look forward to its inevitable demise. For your own mental heath I would encourage you to start to examine why you have such a problem with being female. Because you're not running towards something. You're running away from something. Figure that out and you'll be a lot happier. And please stop encouraging other gay and lesbian people to follow in your mentally unhealthy footsteps.

    • @veronica_bohemian
      @veronica_bohemian 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Transphobic movement: Ignorance? Check. Stupidity? Check.

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I never said there was anything wrong with being a woman, a masculine woman, or a lesbian. I only stated the difference between what masculinity means for a trans man and for cis women. Would you say the same to a trans woman, or a drag queen? By your logic, aren’t they just “LARPing” as women? Sounds to me like you’re just looking for something to be mad about. You’re “sick” of this, “sick” of that; if you’re so tired of seeing transgender people, pluck out your eyes!

  • @jasminbampton2002
    @jasminbampton2002 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I’m a girl who is a full on tomboy who has her hair cut short and I’m not lesbian or bi I’m totally straight and not trying to medically change to be a man so it’s not true whatsoever that every women or girl who’s more masculine then feminine/girly is gay please get your facts right and don’t label us all together just because some are thanks

    • @aktdoa
      @aktdoa  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      i said in my video multiple times that there are masc straight cis women who are simply embracing masculinity in their own ways. hopefully next time you use your listening skills!

    • @poggoid7336
      @poggoid7336 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      He literally made very clear that not only lesbians will present masculine, but any women can do that by saying that this expressions rely on a very personal basis, but that this is diferente between any masculine woman and a Trans man.

    • @veronica_bohemian
      @veronica_bohemian 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

    • @actxce9220
      @actxce9220 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Did u even watch the video

    • @jasminbampton2002
      @jasminbampton2002 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@actxce9220 yes and he said that any girl/women that dresses masculine is a butch lesbian which is different to a trans man all I am saying is that’s totally not true at least in my case because I’m not butch or lesbian or bi even thou I’m more masculine then feminine and to not clump us all together just because most are ok