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The Unseen Game Childs | Ashens
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มี.ค. 2021
- Last day! ashensmovie.com
Game Childs? Game Children? Either way, here are many of them and their hideous cousins. All your favourites are here: Games you can't work out how to start! Games that beep and won't stop beeping! Games you can't actually see as the screen is so poor! Games that are no fun whatsoever! It's the full Game Child Experience!
Plus there are dinosaurs for some reason.
Custom Game Child was made by Retro fix Customs: www.retrofix.uk
![[TH]FFWS SEA 2024 Fall - Knockout Stage Day 1](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nsDmUQdWVtg/mqdefault.jpg)
Free of charge means the battery was already flat when they included it.
Exactly what I was thinking!
So is your sister
@@anonamatron that doesn't even make any sense
@@GreatSageSunWukong Culture shock: in America that joke makes perfect sense
@@clockworkengine So it's a dumb joke for dumb people?
They get away with advertising "realistic dinosaur sounds" on the box because you can't prove their dinosaur sounds are unrealistic.
To be fair, you must admit that those sounds really could be realistic; how else would extinct animals sound like?
Not really as we can use scientific methods through comparative anatomy to compare other existing archosaurs (crocodilians and extant dinosaurs - birds) and their vocal organs such as the syrinx or a larynx to determine what sorts of sounds non-avian dinosaurs most likely made. Only mammals are capable of roaring, no other vertebrate is, as for roaring you need very specific vocal organs. Non-avian dinosaurs most likely made low frequency booms, cooing and hisses. They were not capable of producing complex noises such as bird songs but they did not roar.
@@godslaughter you are aware that the sarcosaur made squeaky noises?
@@godslaughter Interesting, thanks.
TBF the game sounds almost exactly as it would have during the cretacious period
Everyone talks about Game Child, but nobody talks about the *Entertainment Youngster*
I don't like the vibes that one gives me
Have you heard of the Funi kid
That just sounds creepy.
And it’s lesser known cousin: the vidya kid
*Game Youth*
Single father compares and criticizes his three children
...and decides they're all equally awful and disappointing
@@superscatboy INTERCHANGEABLE
borno shirt.
@@superscatboy One of those children grew up to be the Game Nerd, proving their father wrong.
I'd be quite disappointed if my son sold his soul and integrity to some slobs and had no time, except in the case of creating a dad band.
Wow, all these years I've been pronouncing painter as painter when it is actually pronounced printer...
I'm amazed he looked right at it and still said printer multiple times.
@@Leahi84 He was looking thru the viewfinder so he's not completely blind.
It would be better if he edited the text that said "PAINTER" whenever he says Printer. Missed opportunity there...
No one likes you Kate. No one
@@Leahi84no one likes you Leah. No one
I feel incredibly depressed on behalf of any child who was gifted one of these
Child : Mom, I want a Game Boy.
Mom : But you have a game boy at home.
the game boy at home :
I had one, think i got it in 97 from mum, came with 6 or 7 of the games, didnt care for the sport ones, but i did play the outrun and space invader style ones a bit. It was just an "extra gift" at xmas, i had a super nintendo, but it would have looked ridiculous just having one snes game under the tree, so mum would go to the chinese $2 shop and buy a few things, usually a vaguely transformers lego type play set, one of these pop stationy things (got a tetris one the year after which i played alot) and so forth. If it was my only xmas gift i would have been unhappy, but it was a good pass time for rainy days untill i had access to the tv for super mario world times
Who needs a Switch when you can get multiple Game Childs for the same price!?
I'd rather have multiple VideoNow players...
All you need now is a dock that you can plug all the cartridges into so there's no need to swap them.
a battery, which is free of charge - i.e. empty, is included. nice!
Great joke, bad delivery
Well done lol
Looks like a spot to hide things, like the ps2 expansion slot! 🤓
The collective noun for group of Game Childs should be Sprogs.
It's a rare collective noun, though, because it changes depending on the knowledge of the person/s in ownership.
An uncle in the early noughties who'd purchased a few GameChildren for the same price as one GameBoy to impress their nephew would be in possession of a "clout of GameChildren".
No, I think the plural should be called a infestation.
Why not Spergs?
@@Bl4ckD0g I'd rather not be associated with shitty lcd games, they don't even have Tetris
GameSpawn?
I love that the manual is clearly the design doc for programming the game.
I'm a programmer and I think so. Though it's not a diagram I'm familiar with. I guess cus I don't make LED games 🤷♀️
@@Stettafire I'm assuming that this game was not designed in a sane way. But I just kinda am guessing that they drew up some kind of flow chart either before or during development to specify the logic for the game and just decided "oh that can be the instructions"
It's a concept flowchart, looks like.
It's like programming docs for the Unity engine, where the official one lets you down and the community has to do the heavy lifting for support.
Probably shouldn't publicly admit this,
but Ashens was doing a book signing in Bristol and I just about made it in time and was the last to get the book singed, that's when I gave him the the grey gamechild mk 2 in this video, anyway I fanboyed abit to hard after meeting him and because I was the last person they locked the the shop doors behind me,
I made my way back to the train station only to suddenly realise that I didn't pay for the book I have signed. Sorry X
You brought us another gamechild video though, I think that’s payment enough!
Things like that happen sometimes in the mid of being excited. I'm sure Ashens understands haha
you payed him in the second best way. views and ad revenue
After all these years, i still have a vague sense of discomfort and dread when i see these basic LCD games. They remind me of being 10 years old and very bored, with my mom telling me to play these things which did just made me more bored and frustrated.
I still have several from when I was younger, every once in a while I'll dig them out and pop batteries in, play for a couple of minutes and remember how gawd awful they are.
I had one that resembles a PSP, came with 3 games and I couldn't believe that someone could come up with this incredibly boring "entertainment". Children usually find fun in the most basic stuff, but even these things kill whatever enthusiasm you had.
@@monchkinvitez7784 i bet it was more entertaining playing with the box it was shipped in or just use the plastic device as a melee weapon to strike other kids to get hands on the real gameboy!
Who could not forget it made an appearance in The Amazing World Of Gumball?
It's weird indeed. Everywhere I comment, people tell me how much they love me and my videos. Sometimes it is annoying. But right now it would be okay. So say something nice about my content, dear san
@@AxxLAfriku What?
@@AxxLAfriku Chile 🇨🇱, Anyways 💅, sew🧵
@@AxxLAfriku Are you sure about that? Aren’t you that guy that everyone hates?
When I saw that in gumball for the first time and internally screamed "ASHENS" but it dosnet matter how big I type it becuaee it was internally
If Game Childs were still around you could guarantee they would make a *Game Child Mini*
Game Child Junior
Game Baby
Game Fetus
Game Child S Plus Ultra Pro X
Play Kiddie Wumbo
Wow. Got an ad for Ashens movie bundle, and I legit thought I was on the actual video, until I looked up and saw the 'Skip Ad' button.
the plural of game child should be games child, like Attorneys General.
What about Game Children
These bootlegs never cease to amaze me. They were going for Game Boy, but ended up with drunk Mr. Game and Watch.
The yellow Game Child with the red buttons looks almost like a Pikachu-themed special edition console.
The Pikachild.
Grows up to be Pikaman.
Wasn't there a pokemon trainer that was just a mother holding her baby wearing a little pikachu costume? Because that's what I'm imagining after your comment.
Dinosaur Battle really hits the part of my brain that reflexively shouts "will someone answer that bloody phone?"
My brain probably completely fabricated this but i feel like i saw "Ashens and the quest for the game child" in Poundland once. which would really be meta
well he once found/got sent a bootleg copy of QFTGC
it wouldnt be impossible to find it in poundland
they'd probably make a killing selling it
@@InfernosReaper nah, just a pound, mate.
@@Xomage999 A pound can kill someone, if it's the right pound ;)
@@InfernosReaper or if it is inserted with enough force
Coming to a store near you... The Game Orphan
😂
You now need a Game Dad and Game Mother then you'll have the whole family.
Game sister ? Game brother ? Game baby ? Game grandpa ? Game grandma ?
@@chipdolittlehelperman Game Aunt? Game Uncle? Game Cousin?
@@redstonegod296 Ah, forgot about those.
😂😂😂 looks like a super nintendo and a 18" crt tv, but the screen pops out and you can replace it 🤣🤣🤣
The correct title is "Painter + Smart Baby". Because "Printer + Smart Baby" would be a silly name for a game!
To be fair, "Painter + Smart Baby" ain´t exactly a top-tier title either...
@@Cthulu1985 Yeah, Pointer +Shark baby.
I'm so excited for my Collector's Edition of Ashens to arrive.
same here! I'm so happy he put that reminder at the beginning of the video because I almost forgot to order mine today
I WANT IT NOW. I will cherish it for eternity, or until my brain stops working well enough for such an emotional process to continue. Then again, my love for this channel may transcend death. I’m drinking a red bull right now.
You lads are alright
Just ordered mine. I figured why not, still haven't seen the movies, but they can't be bad, it's Ashens! It was sixty-five bucks, so it damn well better be worth it!
Oh who am I kidding, of course it will!
Did yours arrive yet? I got mine!
Next is the Play Girl.
Divertissement Damsel
I wonder how many kids got this for Christmas instead of the actual Gameboy. Downright traumatic
Are game children sad onion approved?
“Unique, one-of-a-kind GameChild!”
Oh mercy, I’m actually jealous.
Did the interchangeable Game Child grow up into Pop Station.
The “Space Invaders” Dinosaur Battle seems to be the closest thing to an actual “game” they actually created
Stuart really being nice to us with these frequent uploads.
I feel spoiled
Muti wasn't a Wacky Races character. You're thinking of Muttley. The dog that always chuckled.
That giant dinosaur game killed me!😂
The title needs updating now that we've seen the Game Children
*This.*
I also wouldn’t be surprised if there’s already a Game Child called Game Children.
No, it's dumb when youtubers change the titles every two seconds 🙄
@@Stettafire It's a joke.
I agree though, I hate when youtubers change their titles or thumbnails. Other than to fix a spelling mistake or something ofc.
@Din Do Nuffin It does if I'm looking for a videos I haven't seen before. I'll think I haven't seen it before and click on it, and depending how recently I saw the video the first time I might waste between a few seconds and several minutes before realising what's happened.
Also it's like changing history, only on a small scale.
This truly is how this channel got it's start and it's why I still watch today
my cat loved this episode for some reason, ive never seen it so interested in the monitor in its life
I had that Spaceman game in the 80s, as a standalone LCD game. Oh the memories.
I had the racing game in the bottom left as a stand-alone thing from the 90s :D I even kept playing it now and then after having gotten a real Game Boy... albeit mostly when the batteries had run out in the Gameboy lmao. After a while it got so fast the cars to dodge would only appear in one of the 3 depths, before not even fully appearing at all then you were guaranteed to lose within the next few seconds.
Ashens: Press the SS button
Me a historian: Oh no....
Ashens: Sausage Squares
Me: *exhales*
Could you elaborate
@@ThatEccentricguy Nazis....
@@ThatEccentricguy nazi secret service. Please do some history
@@sirloinestakegames7866 The infamous nazi Soup Summer
@@ThatEccentricguy The Schutzstaffel. Hitler's personal bodyguard, also ran the death camps and the secret police. A nasty bunch all around.
I could listen to Ashens all day, I don't care what he is talking about sometime but his voice is quite soothing and entertaining.
Well that was odd and fitting getting an youtube advert about the Ashens and the Polybius Heist box-set - before an Ashen video. Magic!
the quest is complete, let us never speak of it again
The font on the pure yellow game child is giving me about half the same amount of displeasure one would get from looking at comic sans. That font should only be seen on an old western wanted poster.
Bought my Blu-Ray Collectors Edition! The US loves Ashens!
"Battery included FREE OF CHARGE"
Look just think about what you're saying before you put it on the box. Although to be fair after so many years that battery probably is "free of charge"
"Free of charge," but at a considerable expense.
leaking charge by now
"press the SS button"
Ashens no
Mein leben!!
he's going for that pewdiepie fame
Why would you ever get one of these when those "999 in 1" block-games exist. At least they usually give you about 10 different games and likely cost the same
a 999 in 1 game... its literally just 998 reskins of the same game and Pacman.
The way you said “it goes blip blip blip and it’s bloody awful” made me crack up so hard. 😂
I got an ad with Ashens in. The first time I’ve not skipped an ad in a long time.
Since they are knock-offs and no-one would admit to owning then, technically does that make them "Game B*stards"?
I found a lcd game identical to that game kid with the tayto crisps logo.
I love that ashens points out "invadar" then can't read painter/printer correctly
Just bought the Polybius Heist Blu-Ray !
Thank you for not charging obscene delivery for us living in the outer rural British islands. Just the £1.50 standard. It was actually a main reason why I decided to purchase it, I initially was just curiously looking at how much delivery would cost to my address.
Despite being in the UK I've seen "domestic" delivery costs here to be more than it costs to ship to an Australian address! Look forward to receiving it :)
I'm waiting for my Chanticleer Hegemony: Ashens Edition for my Game Child Color.
I will never forget these knock off Game Boys, that's when I started watching
The chiptune version of "Red River Valley" in Soccer gives me hope that somewhere out there is a Game Child game based on the classic John Hughes movie Planes, Trains, & Automobiles.
I once, I kid you not, had a nightmare about the “game child”. It exists.
I can't believe Nintendo copied this to make the Game Boy
sometimes the quality of these products is so low it makes me feel ill
I still have one of these fearsome units, given as a gift in 1992. Possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
This is the best thing on the internet. I cannot believe these exist after your movie.
That Godzilla looks like he's been covered in batter and deep fried
Yum... I'll take a drumstick...
Oh wow. I've been watching since the Google Video days hoping you'd eventually get to the "Game Kid". I vividly remember my parents getting me one on holiday in Greece. The best part was that (being 5 or 6 at the time) the shop also sold Gameboys and my parents asked which one I wanted.
Guess which one I picked.
Brilliant! 🤣
The more I watch of your content, the more I’m transported it late night TV on channel 4 in the 90s. Amazing content.
How awesome to have your own advert at the start of your own video! I did not skip, honest!!!
We didn't need to see that? we didn't need to HEAR that... christ almighty
Printer and Smart baby, you need to go to spec savers.
Oh no he misread a letter when hed looking at tiny text thru a view finder needs bloody glasses
@@Robyn_iz_Here no, but you need to learn to spell 🤦🏻♂️🤣
Those are definitely realistic dinosaur sound effects
Mr A. - you have the habit of making the world a more tolerable waiting room. I'm glad you do what you do. :-)
Fuck, they're back
the pattern on the first box reminds me of the 80's game Q-Bert.
Qbert has a potty mouth
Loved when Q-Bert used to swear
13 yrs.. after all these fkng years man, same intro, same couch. fkn legend
I remember years ago I saw all Ashens yt videos. I finished and I waited every new video. I lost the track like 2 years ago. I'm back again just to enjoy that freaking cool British english. Absolutly pleasure. The BEST of Ashen is I'm spanish native speaker, but I understand eveeeeerything even without CC. I have 2 years of videos to watch starting rn.
I JUST GOT AN AD FOR HIS MOVIE PACK THING.
IT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GAURD
"battery included free of charge." That's useless then.
This is exactly the reason why i got a 4K Monitor. To watch a grown man play GameChild.
Can u imagine the horror if you get promised a GameBoy for Xmas...and then your grandmother gifts you this?
got an Ashens ad at the beginning of the Ashens video
confused now
You’ve entered the matrix
I think the collective should be Game Children, I kinda like it
"That is the joy of the Game Child - you can't even tell if you're playing or not."
- Dr. Stuart Ashen, 2021
I Just saw your ad, and was so suprised when i heard your voice out of nowhere😂😂😂
I hereby propose the next Ashens movie be called: Ashens and the Revenge of the Game Children
I like to imagine that these were only invented to smuggle contraband.
Wow! 55 minutes after the whole Canada Goose fiasco in Boston, you welcome me in open arms with another exciting video just as I walked into my dorm. Thanks Ashens!
That advert from Ashens that played before the video reminded me it was the last day to grab the movie. Phew almost missed my chance to buy the collectors edition.
"Is that a fucking wiring diagram?!?"
Sounds like my job..
**Popstation flashbacks**
I had one of those! My brother gave it to me because he got it from one of those dodgy pop-up auction shops that were all the rage in the 90's. He paid £20 for a bag of tat, because he thought he saw a GameBoy in the bag, lol
I got an ad for the Ashens DVD box set before watching this... I willingly watched the whole thing.
They sure missed out not doing a pink version and calling it game girl ò.ó
The song you labeled midnight sonata would have been Fur Elise... its was always freakin Fur Elise in these games... also those were realistic dinosaur sounds! Jurasic park was a lie... YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!
Fur Elise, It's a Small World, and Oh Susanna. The bootleg soundtrack trio
Ahh, enough for an entire extended Game Family.
Good to see Ashens uploading more regularly after a few empty weeks
God damn Stu you're on a roll - this is top-draw Ashens content.
Didn’t know that the famed conductor Riccardo Muti had a side gig making knockoff Nintendo products…
Ashens you are awesome buddy huge fan of the show, I've ordered the blu ray collectors edition and I cant wait thank you so much buddy
I started watching this video, thinking these are the props for the movies. Then I realized that Game Child was not a movie pun, but an existing family of products. Cold shivers ran down my back.
Were the game children sold in the same markets that sell counterfeit sneakers and Louis Vuitton handbags?
"Mom, can we have Gameboy?"
Gameboy at home:
Oh shit,uploaded 2 hours ago?!
Damn ashens,i just gotta say man,you legit made my childhood and I'm just happy man,you've educated me in a form of electronics/side of gaming that I've never seen many people do,explore the knockoffs/bootlegs of any and all things in existance
Why have I only subscribed now? I kept watching your videos for so long😂 anyway nice one 👍