Story #1: NTA. A lot of women start showing their real personalities once that ring is on their finger because they feel like they have already got it locked in. The fact that Sharon was able to keep her "inner circle" unknown for the entirety of the relationship is proof of how much effort she put into keeping secrets. OP doesn't know this woman nearly as well as he thought.
Happens the same with them. The change can happen after the engagement, after the wedding, or after they get pregnant. Happens with both genders because they believe they are now locked in and you cant leave
Story 2 Unfortunately, those family who are expert at ''keeping up appearances'' are also expert rug sweepers And they'll all disown anyone who goes against the grain Even if whatever happens to them causes visible physical harm, let alone mental scarring You'll either kowtow or bow out indefinitely YOU would end up being the family shameful secret, the skeleton in their closet
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I can't live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
It's always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
Story #2: NTA. I remember this story! The only option is divorce. OP's wife is just as much of a morally bankrupt demon as her father. Her own father is Chester the Molester and she thinks that she can sweep this under the rug. You don't roll the dice on something like this.
That is possible, I can't deny that. But I have another take on it. Most people's behavior changes to reflect the dynamic of the crowd they're in. It happens to everyone. You behave differently with your drinking buddies than your boss. You treat your accountant differently than your grandmother. People's behavior changes is differing company. Each group has it's own social etiquette and limits to which we adapt when in their company. On it's own, that's normal. His fiancé is mirroring the dynamic of this friend group, and probably a lot more than she realizes. The problem isn't so much that her behavior changed. It's HOW it changed, and how she justifies associating with people who behave like that. I've got friends who are massively wealthy, some who are dirt poor. Some friends are family men, some are ex-cons. I consider them all friends, but those who have a negative influence on me, I keep at arm's length. They're the kind of friend you say "hello" to when you randomly pass them on the street. Not the kind of people you invite over to your home. OP's fiancé does not grasp that boundary, or she does not see her friend's behavior for what it is. Beware the "extrovert" girls, lol. They are social chameleons. That adaptability is what allows outgoing people to be so popular and readily accepted. They're not really faking anything, they just reflect back the energy that surrounds them. This means they need to be very selective of who they surround themselves with. My own sister is a prime example of this. She's the outgoing type. When she moved to town, she got a job at a gas station. Within a week, she was on a first name basis with everyone in town. And her personality changes depending on who she's with. She was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic, and she turned into trailer-trash. Then she was involved with an eccentric, and picked up many unusual hobbies and affectations. Then she was with a depressive recluse and became a shut-in. Now she's with this awesome girl who has a job and plans for the future she's actively working toward, and as soon as my sister met her, her life turned around, she landed a great job making lots of money, she's more grounded and rational. And she managed to cut out all of those bad friendships that were dragging her down, and reconnect with old friends who were a great influence. I think OP's fiancé is the same type of person. When she was just spending all her time with OP, she adopted some of his personality and values and mannerisms... It wasn't an attempt to fool him, it's just who she is in that specific environment. Then she gets engaged, rallies her bridesmaids (Hereafter referred to as the "cuntish conclave") and with that increased exposure and their influence she took on some of their less desirable traits as well. And I'd bet within this group, 5 of them are just like OP's fiancé, following some ring-leader. Find out who that is, destroy them, and I bet the rest turn back into semi-normal people. But OP should still end the engagement. His girlfriend isn't mature enough to navigate these friendships on her own. She lacks self-awareness. She's just not ready to make any sort of actual commitment. Waiting for people to grow up is a pointless endeavor, just walk away.
Like said in the story, family skeletons is stuff like aunts/uncles that drink to much or some family member tossed in prison for exposing themselves to the neighbor lady. Child molestation is the worst crime I can think of that doesn't involve mass casualties since it has an effect on the victim for such an enormously long time and is done before or during the formative years.
I was a guest at a wedding that neither the bride nor groom wanted to happen. They only did it for the gifts, the party, and financial gain. It was terrible. My x wife ended up with the groom a few months later. The bride was her cousin. I got the f..k out of there before I ended up with the x bride. It was a mess.
The first story is most likely bipolar. The second she thinks you won't leave her real personality comes up. Usually, they make it until after marriage, so you got lucky op.
Story 2 ending with a happy ending for mary is nice. That girl has been thought a lot, im glad she is getting a happy ending. Sorry for op's marriage but he did the right thing getting away from that ticking timebomb. Its either the wife starts lying about him when she gets upset or the dad scars their would be kids for their rest of their lives. He made a hard choice but it was the only choice
![[Full Story] I Was a Stepmom for 15 Years & Never Felt Like Family. Then My Stepkids Had Babies &...](/img/n.gif)
Story #1: NTA. A lot of women start showing their real personalities once that ring is on their finger because they feel like they have already got it locked in. The fact that Sharon was able to keep her "inner circle" unknown for the entirety of the relationship is proof of how much effort she put into keeping secrets. OP doesn't know this woman nearly as well as he thought.
Happens the same with them. The change can happen after the engagement, after the wedding, or after they get pregnant. Happens with both genders because they believe they are now locked in and you cant leave
Heard Story 1 before- get the ring back and never look back. Story 2- Wow- just wow. Run for the hills for the OP
Story 2
Unfortunately, those family who are expert at ''keeping up appearances'' are also expert rug sweepers
And they'll all disown anyone who goes against the grain
Even if whatever happens to them causes visible physical harm, let alone mental scarring
You'll either kowtow or bow out indefinitely
YOU would end up being the family shameful secret, the skeleton in their closet
Leave her, your sanity is worth more than that relationship
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I can't live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
It's always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You won't regret it
Remember kids: it's easier to end things before you're legally married than afterwards. An engagement isn't a legal commitment.
What men will put up with for a consistent and always available hole is amazing. I speak from experience.
Story #2: NTA. I remember this story! The only option is divorce. OP's wife is just as much of a morally bankrupt demon as her father. Her own father is Chester the Molester and she thinks that she can sweep this under the rug. You don't roll the dice on something like this.
Story 1: She didn't change, she revealed her true self.
That is possible, I can't deny that. But I have another take on it.
Most people's behavior changes to reflect the dynamic of the crowd they're in. It happens to everyone. You behave differently with your drinking buddies than your boss. You treat your accountant differently than your grandmother. People's behavior changes is differing company. Each group has it's own social etiquette and limits to which we adapt when in their company. On it's own, that's normal.
His fiancé is mirroring the dynamic of this friend group, and probably a lot more than she realizes. The problem isn't so much that her behavior changed. It's HOW it changed, and how she justifies associating with people who behave like that.
I've got friends who are massively wealthy, some who are dirt poor. Some friends are family men, some are ex-cons. I consider them all friends, but those who have a negative influence on me, I keep at arm's length. They're the kind of friend you say "hello" to when you randomly pass them on the street. Not the kind of people you invite over to your home. OP's fiancé does not grasp that boundary, or she does not see her friend's behavior for what it is.
Beware the "extrovert" girls, lol. They are social chameleons. That adaptability is what allows outgoing people to be so popular and readily accepted. They're not really faking anything, they just reflect back the energy that surrounds them. This means they need to be very selective of who they surround themselves with.
My own sister is a prime example of this. She's the outgoing type. When she moved to town, she got a job at a gas station. Within a week, she was on a first name basis with everyone in town. And her personality changes depending on who she's with. She was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic, and she turned into trailer-trash. Then she was involved with an eccentric, and picked up many unusual hobbies and affectations. Then she was with a depressive recluse and became a shut-in. Now she's with this awesome girl who has a job and plans for the future she's actively working toward, and as soon as my sister met her, her life turned around, she landed a great job making lots of money, she's more grounded and rational. And she managed to cut out all of those bad friendships that were dragging her down, and reconnect with old friends who were a great influence.
I think OP's fiancé is the same type of person. When she was just spending all her time with OP, she adopted some of his personality and values and mannerisms... It wasn't an attempt to fool him, it's just who she is in that specific environment. Then she gets engaged, rallies her bridesmaids (Hereafter referred to as the "cuntish conclave") and with that increased exposure and their influence she took on some of their less desirable traits as well. And I'd bet within this group, 5 of them are just like OP's fiancé, following some ring-leader. Find out who that is, destroy them, and I bet the rest turn back into semi-normal people.
But OP should still end the engagement. His girlfriend isn't mature enough to navigate these friendships on her own. She lacks self-awareness. She's just not ready to make any sort of actual commitment. Waiting for people to grow up is a pointless endeavor, just walk away.
Might want to make a list of her friends and tell your friends to avoid them at all cost. It like being a motorcyclist and spotting the cops..
Like said in the story, family skeletons is stuff like aunts/uncles that drink to much or some family member tossed in prison for exposing themselves to the neighbor lady. Child molestation is the worst crime I can think of that doesn't involve mass casualties since it has an effect on the victim for such an enormously long time and is done before or during the formative years.
S2 NTA run then tell everyone everything.
I was a guest at a wedding that neither the bride nor groom wanted to happen. They only did it for the gifts, the party, and financial gain. It was terrible. My x wife ended up with the groom a few months later. The bride was her cousin. I got the f..k out of there before I ended up with the x bride. It was a mess.
The first story is most likely bipolar. The second she thinks you won't leave her real personality comes up. Usually, they make it until after marriage, so you got lucky op.
Story 2 - wow, OP cut off the molester's family and just about made Mary part of his.
story number 2 ends with crazy cake edit 15:43
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Story 2 ending with a happy ending for mary is nice. That girl has been thought a lot, im glad she is getting a happy ending. Sorry for op's marriage but he did the right thing getting away from that ticking timebomb. Its either the wife starts lying about him when she gets upset or the dad scars their would be kids for their rest of their lives. He made a hard choice but it was the only choice