They think they're invincible. In their eyes, their false self is blameless. It's really sad that they are so cut off from their inner child and have such low self-esteem that they feel the need to create a false self to cope.
@@caroleminke6116 it's not pity to emphasize with a human who's trauma was so painful and their environment so unstable/unpredictable that they created a false self to cope; one that they thought would be more palatable and perfect for their caregivers. I hope you heal.
@@JulesB93 sadly, they are no humans no more, but lost their souls a long time ago and are rather walking zombies with various demonic occupants inside where the soul should be. So if you do empathize with them, they will use that very beautiful quality against you and you end up syphoned off all your good energy as an empty shell yourself, which they then kick until dead and consider useless for them, so they'll step over you and seek the next supply. DO NOT BELIEVE YOU CAN HEAL THE ONCE HUMAN ASPECT OF THEM, THEY DO NOT WANT THAT. THEY ONLY WANT POWER AND WILL CRUSH YOU WITHOUT REMORSE.
So accurate…. I dated a narcissist last fall for 3 months. In the beginning I was amazed at how I’d found the best man ever … by the end of the 3rd month … he started showing his dark side. At the time I didn’t know what narcissism was … I just knew he was very emotional unhealthy. After we broke up … I basically called out his behavior and said I was not going to tolerate being treated badly … he immediately blamed me and discarded me!!! Later I’ve now realized he was narcissistic … it fits his behavior exactly. I pray for him … but I’ve cut all contact and hope not to run into him in the future. (We live in a very small town).
This has happened to me, he actually moved around the corner so I couldn't forget him. I continued to ignore. 10 years later he's still there! I felt trapped but in time it dissipated and I continued to carry on my life and ignore. He was infact all the shops, the pub and made friends with my group of friends. In time they discovered his dark side too. It just takes time and holding your head up high. Please continue to ignore. If I ever see him I do not look or make eye contact. Never give them what they want not even a hello. Keep your equilibrium and dignity, it wins ❤
i must admit that i was narcissistic when i was in my early twenties. but grinding poverty pounded that out of me! i am much better without my narcissistic traits.
No, you are a man. You admitted you had an inflated sense of self. You matured. Maybe you had narcissistic tendencies, but were not a narc. I have never ever, in my 43 years on earth, heard a woman say anything like this. I believe modern feminism almost guarantees that a woman will be a narcissist unless she's the 1 out of 50 who had an actual masculine father.
@thisisntallowed9560 They called themselves "Mr." For 1, and "Bruno". I think it's safe to make such an assumption.. lol I would even go so far to say it would be rude to assume they AREN'T a man!😮💨😶
My evil narc step dad became an expert in biology once I got a degree in cellular and molecular biology. I used to joke around with my mom, I would say the sky is blue (an obvious fact) and he would say no it isn't, immediately almost like a reflex or like defending himself. It was amazing to me how much he learned the more I studied. Now as a retired high school math teacher he volunteers and his title is "NW Regional Flotilla Commander of the Coast Guard Auxilliary", no joke. Basically he shows Boy Scouts how to put on their life jackets. He stole everything that I was into as a kid when I left home. I got an Eagle Scout in BSA and he took over the troop, I got out as soon as possible to get away from him. He spent the rest of his life in Scouts, almost like blocking me from ever doing it and trying to overshadow the fact that while I earned my Eagle Scout, he never did. When I was at home as a kid downhill skiing was made fun of and I was not supported in doing it. My step dad complained he had a bad back and could never ski. The minute I left home they were skiing and getting season passes, calling me from the chairlift.
Exactly….. happened to my husband too…..I hope you’re happy now….write a book about it to encourage others & make a lot of $$$---had 0 to do with you 🩵
You have described my mother and I'm her only child. She lives with me as she is elderly in her mid 90s. What are my options? I feel condemned for life!
It won’t be too much longer I’m sure….get someone to come in everyday if you can, so you can get out and do something soothing for yourself….massage, smoothie, Thai food….whatever makes you happy 💗💗
Get a cheap, non-working hearing aid and tell her you have an ear infection and sudden hearing loss . When she gets difficult, fiddle with the controls and say you can't hear. Smile and say you have to go outside. Also look at nursing homes. I feel for you. My sister and I have been there, done that . Mom freed us by dying 18 months ago, age 90.
I was shocked and not shocked when my father exceeded himself in the final hurrah of his life, finally taking his mask off and dropping all pretence of being a reformed character in his old age, sticking the knife into family for nothing, contemptuously, after going out of his way for two years to get reconciled with them. Then I was shocked that I couldn't feel sorrow when aged 96 he died alone during lockdown. So I can't say this is good advice that I'm giving. But my advice as far as your options go is to just accept what is and prepare for what's to come after. You don't say how large your family unit is now but, depending, it could still be difficult moving on. All best...
@@zorzora1you are so clever! 😂👍🏼🙌🤣😁. I wish I had known of the hearing aide trick back when caring for my elderly father in law. He had me running all day, and I have Parkinson’s disease.🙄😔. He used to tell me, ‘hurry up, hurry up’.😐. With Parkinson’s we CANNOT hurry up-our brains are compromised and I was walking with a cane.🙄🙄🙄. Thankfully he died after a year and a half of us kids/in laws taking care of him on home hospice. He made my Parkinson’s worse from the constant stress.
My dad literally turned it against me saying I think I am better than other people while I just don’t want to continue self destruction habits like people from his neighborhood
I know a narcissist who never says excuse me when he pushes past people. I saw him purposely knock signs and price tags off of the shelves at the market.
"confidence is not thinking you are better than others but not having to compare yourself to others" BUT if you accuse me of thinking that i am better than you even though i probably dont think about you at all then that does come from a place of jealousy. theres this saying "confidence looks like arrogance if you secretly admire it from below" And if you then bully me to DESPERATELY humble me - that is projection.
The sad part is the people think that narcissists are aware of their behaviors and are willingly continuing doing them without any remorse or consideration of the damage that they are causing to others … it took me a while to realize much of my behaviors and the damage that it had been causing to others and by the time I worked on avoiding my narcissistic behaviors it was already too late as I had lost all those who had mattered to me … so once we realize “what” we are everything somehow collapses … the narcissistic “they owe me” “I’m more clever than most of you” shifts into “damn nobody actually owe me anything cause I am worse than everyone and do not deserve anything” … in the video Tim says narcissists think that people love them whenever they say hi to them. The perception behind the reason of someone saying hi quickly changes into “why did he say hi? What does he/she want?” “Have I mistreated that person in a way” … Somehow finding the golden middle between the “I’m better than everyone” and “I am a worthless useless person” is an extremely difficult goal to achieve, with or without professional help…. So don’t just point fingers of blame towards all narcissists as the “evil of society” , I assure you those are some nasty shoes they were born with and changing one’s lifelong shoes is not an easy task ..
Narcs KNOW what they do & when I finally went gray rock on him the 72 year old psycho left after saying that he could no longer trigger me. Absolutely intentional preadolescent with arrested development on steroids
I have to come to terms with some wrongs I've done people in life. But the speaker says I'm a narc if I try to explain by email. And I can't quite shake the feeling maybe those people are at fault themselves. Ah well, I'll have to be eaten up by remorse, self-doubt and shame a few more years yet.
depends on the severity of theor narcissism. Every one of them is different. If you calmly verbally attack them in their core wound and they physically retaliate against you, they know!
It's so annoyning and insane. Everytime he tells the story the fish gets bigger and the people around him more stupid. Instead of the witnessed 1.5 cocktails he drank 11 cocktails. Instead of 40 browser tabs he had 2000 browser tabs open. Instead of recognizing he really irritated and annoyed two girls, he insisted they fought over him. The cognitive distortions are really like hallucinations. No change in the pattern in 15 years. It's a sysiphos task to bring im back to reality.
This is good because it helps me address some feelings I am having lately about non-support from and about people with narc behaviors. I don't have to conflict with them when they twist everything around. I can just tune it out and continue to advocate for myself and my position.
Everything said in this video is exactly right. Have been on the receiving end of all of their asinine and dangerous behavior. Sadly though they look normal but about as abnormal as they come. Don’t allow them to do a damn thing to hurt you.
This may sound trivial to some… but to have a rship with someone like this, can take a normal person to the brink of their sanity. For me his abuse was so extreme, it has changed me as a person forever. I will never view the world the same again and can’t ever have a rship again… EVER! I watch these vids to understand what I lived thru…. And Tim really is good.
It seriously amazes me that every single word you spoke, is everything single thing I was married to. Thank you for your wisdom., it has helped me in many ways.
Relations of any type with narcs are odd in that the more time goes on you think it's building towards closeness, value, respect, etc., but not so to the narcissist. Of course, they don't tell you this outright, but it sure shows up in they're actions. Relations with narcissists are vertical relations, meaning while you think you're getting close to them, they're just figuring you out. Once they feel sure and confident enough in perceiving you as the lesser they jockey for position over you. Once they got this it's _game over_ and all respect goes out the window.
Mine has to be center of attention ALWAYS !! No accountability! No apologies EVER!! Needed validation constantly! Always bragging about what he had, what he owned, dressed good etc I was his trophy woman! Know it all too!! So annoying! Omg rules ! He could do what he wanted but as soon as it’s done to them they throw a tantrum!
ya. My father worked hard to arrange a white house visit to our family business (we’re in DC area)… nothing like photos with the president to buff the ego
This is not part of our true nature. This kind of behaviour comes from egoic conditioning. Our true nature is uncondtional love, compassion, acceptance, non judgement. The biggest challenge in being human is coming out of the grip of the egoic/conditioned mind to realize who we all really are and then integrating human and Being.
The only people that are going to understand your situation are people that have experienced some grief or someone in their family has family issues everyone else is just going to make you feel worse about this if you try to talk to him the constantly asking and shame you don't you have family to help you don't you have family to go to holidays for don't you don't you don't you
Machismo is more about perceived gender roles. There are many macho men who are not narcissists. Instead they have inflexible ideas about what is "normal" expectations, duties, and behaviors for a men or women, which often benefit the men.
Hey Tim, I love your content, but this video is just misinformed ☹️. I have NPD and CPTSD and I’m currently recovering from my severe childhood trauma. I’m in therapy and I have made lots of progress this year. I feel upset about the way you talk about narcissistic people. I know a few other pwNPD in real life, who are in recovery, and we are also just human. Yes, we can be abusive and “toxic” due to out disorders, but so can people with CPTSD. It’s all about self-awareness. Please don’t spread more stigma.
I hope I NEVER EVER come across another narcissist..
You're a women. You're attracted to them.
"Insatiable appetites can never be quenched". Ego maniacs they are!
Don't argue, just Block and Run....Fast❤
They think they're invincible. In their eyes, their false self is blameless. It's really sad that they are so cut off from their inner child and have such low self-esteem that they feel the need to create a false self to cope.
Plz don’t waste pity on a narcissist because it won’t thank you
@@caroleminke6116 it's not pity to emphasize with a human who's trauma was so painful and their environment so unstable/unpredictable that they created a false self to cope; one that they thought would be more palatable and perfect for their caregivers. I hope you heal.
It's all a lie. A compensation built out of a house of cards.
@@JulesB93 sadly, they are no humans no more, but lost their souls a long time ago and are rather walking zombies with various demonic occupants inside where the soul should be. So if you do empathize with them, they will use that very beautiful quality against you and you end up syphoned off all your good energy as an empty shell yourself, which they then kick until dead and consider useless for them, so they'll step over you and seek the next supply. DO NOT BELIEVE YOU CAN HEAL THE ONCE HUMAN ASPECT OF THEM, THEY DO NOT WANT THAT. THEY ONLY WANT POWER AND WILL CRUSH YOU WITHOUT REMORSE.
They always give off "creepy" vibes.....robotic...mechanical....cold blooded....dead eyes....not a drop of humanity....
Sounds and feels like me. It sucks to live with those traits.
So accurate…. I dated a narcissist last fall for 3 months. In the beginning I was amazed at how I’d found the best man ever … by the end of the 3rd month … he started showing his dark side. At the time I didn’t know what narcissism was … I just knew he was very emotional unhealthy. After we broke up … I basically called out his behavior and said I was not going to tolerate being treated badly … he immediately blamed me and discarded me!!!
Later I’ve now realized he was narcissistic … it fits his behavior exactly.
I pray for him … but I’ve cut all contact and hope not to run into him in the future. (We live in a very small town).
This has happened to me, he actually moved around the corner so I couldn't forget him. I continued to ignore. 10 years later he's still there! I felt trapped but in time it dissipated and I continued to carry on my life and ignore. He was infact all the shops, the pub and made friends with my group of friends. In time they discovered his dark side too. It just takes time and holding your head up high. Please continue to ignore. If I ever see him I do not look or make eye contact. Never give them what they want not even a hello. Keep your equilibrium and dignity, it wins ❤
They're 100% right. Once you really get to know them, you don't want to give them the time of day.
i must admit that i was narcissistic when i was in my early twenties. but grinding poverty pounded that out of me! i am much better without my narcissistic traits.
No, you are a man. You admitted you had an inflated sense of self. You matured. Maybe you had narcissistic tendencies, but were not a narc. I have never ever, in my 43 years on earth, heard a woman say anything like this. I believe modern feminism almost guarantees that a woman will be a narcissist unless she's the 1 out of 50 who had an actual masculine father.
@@thisisntallowed9560a sexist clearly!
@thisisntallowed9560 They called themselves "Mr." For 1, and "Bruno". I think it's safe to make such an assumption.. lol I would even go so far to say it would be rude to assume they AREN'T a man!😮💨😶
@@rachelsilvester4922I'd go with someone who knows how to read and understands the meaning of words, but sure, THAT MUST be it.😑🫣😮💨
How did people like you make it to this comment section. Whew.
My evil narc step dad became an expert in biology once I got a degree in cellular and molecular biology. I used to joke around with my mom, I would say the sky is blue (an obvious fact) and he would say no it isn't, immediately almost like a reflex or like defending himself. It was amazing to me how much he learned the more I studied. Now as a retired high school math teacher he volunteers and his title is "NW Regional Flotilla Commander of the Coast Guard Auxilliary", no joke. Basically he shows Boy Scouts how to put on their life jackets. He stole everything that I was into as a kid when I left home. I got an Eagle Scout in BSA and he took over the troop, I got out as soon as possible to get away from him. He spent the rest of his life in Scouts, almost like blocking me from ever doing it and trying to overshadow the fact that while I earned my Eagle Scout, he never did. When I was at home as a kid downhill skiing was made fun of and I was not supported in doing it. My step dad complained he had a bad back and could never ski. The minute I left home they were skiing and getting season passes, calling me from the chairlift.
Exactly….. happened to my husband too…..I hope you’re happy now….write a book about it to encourage others & make a lot of $$$---had 0 to do with you 🩵
uhuh. Dreadful, sad, can relate.
The one I used to know, never set foot inside a recruiting station, but was an expert in all things military.
@@fxdpntc ohhh my
You have described my mother and I'm her only child. She lives with me as she is elderly in her mid 90s. What are my options? I feel condemned for life!
It was life in prison for us too
It won’t be too much longer I’m sure….get someone to come in everyday if you can, so you can get out and do something soothing for yourself….massage, smoothie, Thai food….whatever makes you happy 💗💗
Get a cheap, non-working hearing aid and tell her you have an ear infection and sudden hearing loss . When she gets difficult, fiddle with the controls and say you can't hear. Smile and say you have to go outside. Also look at nursing homes. I feel for you. My sister and I have been there, done that . Mom freed us by dying 18 months ago, age 90.
I was shocked and not shocked when my father exceeded himself in the final hurrah of his life, finally taking his mask off and dropping all pretence of being a reformed character in his old age, sticking the knife into family for nothing, contemptuously, after going out of his way for two years to get reconciled with them. Then I was shocked that I couldn't feel sorrow when aged 96 he died alone during lockdown. So I can't say this is good advice that I'm giving. But my advice as far as your options go is to just accept what is and prepare for what's to come after. You don't say how large your family unit is now but, depending, it could still be difficult moving on. All best...
@@zorzora1you are so clever! 😂👍🏼🙌🤣😁. I wish I had known of the hearing aide trick back when caring for my elderly father in law. He had me running all day, and I have Parkinson’s disease.🙄😔. He used to tell me, ‘hurry up, hurry up’.😐. With Parkinson’s we CANNOT hurry up-our brains are compromised and I was walking with a cane.🙄🙄🙄. Thankfully he died after a year and a half of us kids/in laws taking care of him on home hospice. He made my Parkinson’s worse from the constant stress.
My dad literally turned it against me saying I think I am better than other people while I just don’t want to continue self destruction habits like people from his neighborhood
can't believe people actually live like that, such a sad way to live
It's almost exactly the wrong way to live. Like they took the recipe to life and reversed it.
my mother so i can & i always see the bad in ppl quick
Donald Trump for example ;) About 50% of the US is going to vote for him. It is incredible!
I know a narcissist who never says excuse me when he pushes past people. I saw him purposely knock signs and price tags off of the shelves at the market.
"confidence is not thinking you are better than others but not having to compare yourself to others"
BUT if you accuse me of thinking that i am better than you even though i probably dont think about you at all then that does come from a place of jealousy.
theres this saying "confidence looks like arrogance if you secretly admire it from below" And if you then bully me to DESPERATELY humble me - that is projection.
I know I am not afraid to admit I’m no better than anyone else. Narcissist knows everything and knows they’re better but refuse to admit it.
The sad part is the people think that narcissists are aware of their behaviors and are willingly continuing doing them without any remorse or consideration of the damage that they are causing to others … it took me a while to realize much of my behaviors and the damage that it had been causing to others and by the time I worked on avoiding my narcissistic behaviors it was already too late as I had lost all those who had mattered to me … so once we realize “what” we are everything somehow collapses … the narcissistic “they owe me” “I’m more clever than most of you” shifts into “damn nobody actually owe me anything cause I am worse than everyone and do not deserve anything” … in the video Tim says narcissists think that people love them whenever they say hi to them. The perception behind the reason of someone saying hi quickly changes into “why did he say hi? What does he/she want?” “Have I mistreated that person in a way” … Somehow finding the golden middle between the “I’m better than everyone” and “I am a worthless useless person” is an extremely difficult goal to achieve, with or without professional help…. So don’t just point fingers of blame towards all narcissists as the “evil of society” , I assure you those are some nasty shoes they were born with and changing one’s lifelong shoes is not an easy task ..
Narcs KNOW what they do & when I finally went gray rock on him the 72 year old psycho left after saying that he could no longer trigger me. Absolutely intentional preadolescent with arrested development on steroids
This is beautifully said
The goal isnt to be liked. Just because people dont like you doesnt make you a narcissist.
I have to come to terms with some wrongs I've done people in life. But the speaker says I'm a narc if I try to explain by email. And I can't quite shake the feeling maybe those people are at fault themselves. Ah well, I'll have to be eaten up by remorse, self-doubt and shame a few more years yet.
I feel compassion for you as a fellow human being. May you find more healing in your journey.
not cut off from inner child they are the teenage self. little children dont care what others think. they are very Zen.😊❤
Yes, teenage self. I've been saying for a while that our entire culture is stuck at 17 years old. Almost everyone I know. It's terrible.
@@marshfilm 17? 17 can get a job Im talking 13. 🤔🙂
My question is deep down in subconscious mind do they know they are lying to themselves and are nothing?
depends on the severity of theor narcissism. Every one of them is different. If you calmly verbally attack them in their core wound and they physically retaliate against you, they know!
Or they are so insecure that this is the ultimate fake it till you make it.
Thank You Tim, You are doing God's work 🙌 Your videos are ray of hope who want to improve and change.
This is so accurate.
Literally they are taking notes!
It's so annoyning and insane. Everytime he tells the story the fish gets bigger and the people around him more stupid. Instead of the witnessed 1.5 cocktails he drank 11 cocktails. Instead of 40 browser tabs he had 2000 browser tabs open. Instead of recognizing he really irritated and annoyed two girls, he insisted they fought over him. The cognitive distortions are really like hallucinations. No change in the pattern in 15 years. It's a sysiphos task to bring im back to reality.
This is good because it helps me address some feelings I am having lately about non-support from and about people with narc behaviors. I don't have to conflict with them when they twist everything around. I can just tune it out and continue to advocate for myself and my position.
Everything said in this video is exactly right. Have been on the receiving end of all of their asinine and dangerous behavior. Sadly though they look normal but about as abnormal as they come. Don’t allow them to do a damn thing to hurt you.
Learn to love yourself and keep yourself silent and sacred
This may sound trivial to some… but to have a rship with someone like this, can take a normal person to the brink of their sanity. For me his abuse was so extreme, it has changed me as a person forever. I will never view the world the same again and can’t ever have a rship again… EVER!
I watch these vids to understand what I lived thru…. And Tim really is good.
It seriously amazes me that every single word you spoke, is everything single thing I was married to. Thank you for your wisdom., it has helped me in many ways.
They are a legend in their own mind!🙄😂
Narcissists think they are a god. They have turned their back to god and seek to take god's throne
Mummy knows ʻbestʻ 😂😂😂
Kinda implies God could only ever win the silver medal at the most !
Just like thr devil did
my 'Ex' said, " the Day I was Born was such an AUSPICIOUS OCCASION"!!! [ Egad]!
"they tell you what you should conclude about them" 😅 psychos...
Relations of any type with narcs are odd in that the more time goes on you think it's building towards closeness, value, respect, etc., but not so to the narcissist. Of course, they don't tell you this outright, but it sure shows up in they're actions. Relations with narcissists are vertical relations, meaning while you think you're getting close to them, they're just figuring you out. Once they feel sure and confident enough in perceiving you as the lesser they jockey for position over you. Once they got this it's _game over_ and all respect goes out the window.
Mine has to be center of attention ALWAYS !!
No accountability! No apologies EVER!!
Needed validation constantly!
Always bragging about what he had, what he owned, dressed good etc
I was his trophy woman!
Know it all too!! So annoying!
Omg rules ! He could do what he wanted but as soon as it’s done to them they throw a tantrum!
My ex Narsisist G.F is training as a court usher, to impress her friends
ya. My father worked hard to arrange a white house visit to our family business (we’re in DC area)… nothing like photos with the president to buff the ego
He explained almost everyone I’ve ever met. Humans are natured and just wired this way. Some are just far worse than others
Some much much worse
This is not part of our true nature. This kind of behaviour comes from egoic conditioning. Our true nature is uncondtional love, compassion, acceptance, non judgement. The biggest challenge in being human is coming out of the grip of the egoic/conditioned mind to realize who we all really are and then integrating human and Being.
Narcissism is on a spectrum and a certain amount is healthy
Living It 😂
this is living in los angeles^ i'm not even remotely joking lol
Yep!! Their Gold and your shit
This is 100% opposite of me.
🤬 narcissists and their games of thrones
I left the church because of narcissistic leadership.
Why the narcos especially the " G narcissists " Are so malignant ?
ME ME ME ME ME..,🙄😈🤡💩☠️
🎯
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
GRESEY the COTER trapper
The only people that are going to understand your situation are people that have experienced some grief or someone in their family has family issues everyone else is just going to make you feel worse about this if you try to talk to him the constantly asking and shame you don't you have family to help you don't you have family to go to holidays for don't you don't you don't you
Could this also be seen as machismo?
Machismo is more about perceived gender roles. There are many macho men who are not narcissists. Instead they have inflexible ideas about what is "normal" expectations, duties, and behaviors for a men or women, which often benefit the men.
There’s nobody in this audience
Hey Tim, I love your content, but this video is just misinformed ☹️. I have NPD and CPTSD and I’m currently recovering from my severe childhood trauma. I’m in therapy and I have made lots of progress this year. I feel upset about the way you talk about narcissistic people. I know a few other pwNPD in real life, who are in recovery, and we are also just human. Yes, we can be abusive and “toxic” due to out disorders, but so can people with CPTSD. It’s all about self-awareness. Please don’t spread more stigma.
Too much for your poor little narcisstic heart? Oh dear …
@@mareikesommer2436 why do you feel the need to insult me? I do not want to be insulted, but I also feel curious why you said this
Let's vote out the biggest narcissist of all. Vote blue for reason and sanity, for all Americans! 💙🙏🏻