Thank you both for validating my strict rules for how I spend time with people. If it isn't "nourishing", then I NOW(unmasking & self diagnosed) do not continue with those socially draining encounters. Hearing how others experienced and recovered from burnout is also so validating. I am basically my own therapist and psychiatrist as well. It feels good to come out of the closet and be seen without a mask on.
Best takeaway for me (thanks Paul!)...... "My hyper-focus worked against me. When I tried to stop working my brain wanted to keep working, and because I didn't have enough of a secondary thing to focus on I would take a break and so I would sit at home with nothing to do. My brain would just stay in work mode and I would get to Monday morning and not feel rested at all. This led to burn out" I can relate hard to this! When I'm not working from home, I get stuck on my computer in the same spot on my days off. Even though I'm just on the internet, it still isn't a break. I just reduced my working hours to 4 days after burnout, however, I couldn't work out why I still wasn't feeling rested. I'm just recovering from burnout due to this. Great tip about doing active stuff to actually take a break, thanks :) Thanks to Sam too for this discussion :)
LOL, the intro with "initially diagnosed myself as an engineer" cracked me up, because when I was 12 I ran across an article titled something like "little professors" about kids with Aspergers. And I waved over my parents and was like: "Hey, does this not sound like me?" And they were like: "Well, WE'RE both professors, so of course you'd act like a 'little professor'!" And...yes. I'm also an academic now, and fit in around professors better than anywhere else. But also...
Thank you for describing your strategies to reduce possibility ofburnout Paul. Its made me realise that i've used these, without understanding why, for at least 7 years, but up to ten or more. (No TV, no music, part time work hours, longer work breaks, less socialising) I'm 18 months into being off work due to severe burnout and gained a dx and some days i have a glimmer of 'normal' for a couple of hours. The more I hear, the less i beat myself up. I've "done well" to survive as long as i have.
@@Truerealism747 i suspect what was dx as fibromyalgia is actually part of my experience of burnout. I never felt the dx was a good fitfor my experience and that others were experiencing FMS differently from myself. Though those differences may be explained by an autistic difference in pain recognition and poor interoception?
@@deborahlee8135 yes and if your hypermobile or not ime hypermobile also do you have ADHD combined ? Do you have muscle pain everyday albeit it may have moved over years pain everyday draining isn't it
@@Truerealism747 the FMS appears to be in 'remission' currently.... and I've not been dx hypermobile (though at my age a lot of flexibility has reduced) nor ADHD, though I've had 3 therapists (unable to dx but have their experience to ho on) believe I'm prob ADHD also. Yes, pain levels were debilitating as I was in pain 24/7 for years, to the extent that when I notice pain now I can usually brush it off as I worked through it for so many years.
Thank you for the interesting talk! I did the Camino 20 years ago and it was a transformative experience back then 👍🏾 I also like meeting new people on travels, partly because there are no relationship strings attached and I can enjoy the experience in the moment more.
Thank you both so much for sharing your insights, so helpful to reflect and learn. Its so important to develop strategies. Sam your energy is infectious 😊😊😊😊
After graduating from University I couldn't start looking for a job for eight months. All that time I stayed in my room rarely going out. At the time I thought I was going through depression because I lost confidence about my tessis and choice in career thanks to my dad's undermining comments when I showed him my two years research's animated teaser (planetary romance in art direction). But now that I know that I'm in the spectrum It explains a lot, I was having a burnout. Also, I had to defend my tessis twice because I'm pretty sure the first time I had a total shut down and no one in that room, from the career's director, the board professors to myself knew what was happening to me.
Aw I’m so sad I missed the live. You’re my two favorites. I set notifications from the email and TH-cam. Idk why these things never work 😪. Well I’m excited to watch it now
Thanks so much, Sam and Paul. I enjoyed watching your chat tremendously, even if I couldn't join in live, as I was working at the time. I heard so many interesting things, about memory, about heart rate variability, about stress, rest and burnout, I could go on for hours. I felt so many things that I don't even know where to start. Thank you! By the way: love the T-shirt, mine just arrived a couple of days ago 😊.
What a great and informative chat, I've been following both yourself and Paul since you helped me with my self DX, thanks for this, it's been super hearing your experiences and thoughts🙏
Unfortunately, i wasn't able to make this live, but thanks SO much for making the summit free! Being on disability means i really cant afford anything beyond my monthly living needs. Thank you!
I've learnt to use Paul's strategy with emails myself. I decide I'll prepare what I need to do, then in the preparation I see the steps and do a few, before I know it I'm nearly done. It's the 'I'm preparing to do it' trick. Thanks to both of you, wish I'd known about your London gathering, I'd have come - maybe... lol. Next time I hope.
Just remembered learning a new thing I felt I needed to mask 64 years ago. It came back to me when Sam said "especially when you've masked for decades". 😅
Hi Paul and Sam, I wanted to meet you in London but tickets sold out. Congratulations to you both on the success of the event! 🎉 Will there be another event in London or Europe? I live in London but I was born in Brugge, Belgium 😊
Oh my goodness! The link between your almost-chronic pain and your nervous system, I'd be SUPER excited to hear about that - I think I have the same, or at least very similar, issues.
On the topic of burnout: For the last 6 years I‘ve managed to work full time, since August 2021 I‘m running on empty (seeing it written down how long this has been going on scares me). In the past I quit jobs when I became too exhausted but I vowed to myself to not do that anymore to stay financially afloat (I‘m 41, I can‘t go back to living off of 600€/month again). My hope is that I can somehow cut down my hours to 30 a week otherwise I‘m busted 😂
I do that exact same thing about remembering where i was or what i was doing while listening to something 😱😱 I have relistened to podcasts and can remember cleaning the bathtub while listening to that part or making dinner and what exactly I was making dinner
Hi, I’m Dyslexic and ADHD. Daughter is Autistic and I suspect her father is. I do not believe I am Autistic however many of my symptoms are similar and I am currently in burnout and watching both of you because so many of your recommendations from previous videos have been helpful with ideas. Also a parent who seems to find other neurodivergent parents, probably because I can’t do surface level conversations and click well with other neurodivergent parents…..now thinking about it may scare off neurotypical parents.
My father got me a electric violin from his brother and I wind up buying myself a cheaper non electric violin because I hated having to set up the electric violin lol. I love my keyboard too because all I have to do is plug it in and it's lower in sound
Hi Sam and Paul! I am autistic with some aspects of ADHD. I suscribw for the summit. The time zone complicates it a little as I am I the Netherlands (9 a.m. is midnight here). Are the lectures recorded? I will do my best to join part of it at the beginning, but I might feel tired eventually. At what time does it end? Thanks!
Thank you for this video. I am currently burned out af and trying to get some things out of this video. P.s.: Good to see you without makeup. That lessens the thinking I have to do to imagine a person behind the "mask".
Without hearing from people with lived experience it's practically impossible to get any more than essentially a bad yelp review of autism... Like labelling someone as pathologically demand avoidant, very passive-aggressive terminology. I only just heard it called constant drive for autonomy (or similar). Accurate and non-judgemental.
Thank you both for validating my strict rules for how I spend time with people. If it isn't "nourishing", then I NOW(unmasking & self diagnosed) do not continue with those socially draining encounters. Hearing how others experienced and recovered from burnout is also so validating. I am basically my own therapist and psychiatrist as well. It feels good to come out of the closet and be seen without a mask on.
Well said
Best takeaway for me (thanks Paul!)...... "My hyper-focus worked against me. When I tried to stop working my brain wanted to keep working, and because I didn't have enough of a secondary thing to focus on I would take a break and so I would sit at home with nothing to do. My brain would just stay in work mode and I would get to Monday morning and not feel rested at all. This led to burn out"
I can relate hard to this! When I'm not working from home, I get stuck on my computer in the same spot on my days off. Even though I'm just on the internet, it still isn't a break. I just reduced my working hours to 4 days after burnout, however, I couldn't work out why I still wasn't feeling rested. I'm just recovering from burnout due to this. Great tip about doing active stuff to actually take a break, thanks :) Thanks to Sam too for this discussion :)
LOL, the intro with "initially diagnosed myself as an engineer" cracked me up, because when I was 12 I ran across an article titled something like "little professors" about kids with Aspergers. And I waved over my parents and was like: "Hey, does this not sound like me?" And they were like: "Well, WE'RE both professors, so of course you'd act like a 'little professor'!" And...yes. I'm also an academic now, and fit in around professors better than anywhere else. But also...
Thank you for describing your strategies to reduce possibility ofburnout Paul. Its made me realise that i've used these, without understanding why, for at least 7 years, but up to ten or more. (No TV, no music, part time work hours, longer work breaks, less socialising) I'm 18 months into being off work due to severe burnout and gained a dx and some days i have a glimmer of 'normal' for a couple of hours. The more I hear, the less i beat myself up. I've "done well" to survive as long as i have.
Hello dear👋, how are you doing today, hope you’re fine and safe from the COVID-19 virus??
Do you have pain with your burnout
@@Truerealism747 i suspect what was dx as fibromyalgia is actually part of my experience of burnout. I never felt the dx was a good fitfor my experience and that others were experiencing FMS differently from myself. Though those differences may be explained by an autistic difference in pain recognition and poor interoception?
@@deborahlee8135 yes and if your hypermobile or not ime hypermobile also do you have ADHD combined ? Do you have muscle pain everyday albeit it may have moved over years pain everyday draining isn't it
@@Truerealism747 the FMS appears to be in 'remission' currently.... and I've not been dx hypermobile (though at my age a lot of flexibility has reduced) nor ADHD, though I've had 3 therapists (unable to dx but have their experience to ho on) believe I'm prob ADHD also. Yes, pain levels were debilitating as I was in pain 24/7 for years, to the extent that when I notice pain now I can usually brush it off as I worked through it for so many years.
100% relate with having very good and very poor memory at the same time.
Thank you for the interesting talk!
I did the Camino 20 years ago and it was a transformative experience back then 👍🏾
I also like meeting new people on travels, partly because there are no relationship strings attached and I can enjoy the experience in the moment more.
What strikes me from this video is how much I recognise of myself just from watching you both interact.
Thank you both so much for sharing your insights, so helpful to reflect and learn. Its so important to develop strategies. Sam your energy is infectious 😊😊😊😊
I loooove the glamping idea! 🤩
It‘s nature AND comfy sheets 👍🏾
I've got my own but needs doing up having health to do it with fybromyalgia
After graduating from University I couldn't start looking for a job for eight months. All that time I stayed in my room rarely going out. At the time I thought I was going through depression because I lost confidence about my tessis and choice in career thanks to my dad's undermining comments when I showed him my two years research's animated teaser (planetary romance in art direction). But now that I know that I'm in the spectrum It explains a lot, I was having a burnout. Also, I had to defend my tessis twice because I'm pretty sure the first time I had a total shut down and no one in that room, from the career's director, the board professors to myself knew what was happening to me.
Im sure that tessis is brilliant! Don’t lose your way. Keep going🦋⭐️💖
Graduated uni in May, still processing through burnout :p relatable
Aw I’m so sad I missed the live. You’re my two favorites. I set notifications from the email and TH-cam. Idk why these things never work 😪. Well I’m excited to watch it now
Thanks so much, Sam and Paul. I enjoyed watching your chat tremendously, even if I couldn't join in live, as I was working at the time. I heard so many interesting things, about memory, about heart rate variability, about stress, rest and burnout, I could go on for hours. I felt so many things that I don't even know where to start. Thank you!
By the way: love the T-shirt, mine just arrived a couple of days ago 😊.
Thank you so much, it was such a treat to listen to you both ❤
What a great and informative chat, I've been following both yourself and Paul since you helped me with my self DX, thanks for this, it's been super hearing your experiences and thoughts🙏
Thank you both for this talk. Your insights are very helpful.
Great video, thanks guys!
Looking forward to the summit!
You both have helped me much sound= good for me
Love this video Sam & Paul are the best!!!
Unfortunately, i wasn't able to make this live, but thanks SO much for making the summit free! Being on disability means i really cant afford anything beyond my monthly living needs.
Thank you!
Do you have fybromyalgia with your autism
I've learnt to use Paul's strategy with emails myself. I decide I'll prepare what I need to do, then in the preparation I see the steps and do a few, before I know it I'm nearly done. It's the 'I'm preparing to do it' trick. Thanks to both of you, wish I'd known about your London gathering, I'd have come - maybe... lol. Next time I hope.
Just remembered learning a new thing I felt I needed to mask 64 years ago. It came back to me when Sam said "especially when you've masked for decades". 😅
Hi Paul and Sam, I wanted to meet you in London but tickets sold out. Congratulations to you both on the success of the event! 🎉 Will there be another event in London or Europe? I live in London but I was born in Brugge, Belgium 😊
Oh my goodness! The link between your almost-chronic pain and your nervous system, I'd be SUPER excited to hear about that - I think I have the same, or at least very similar, issues.
Me to autadd fybromyalgia symptoms years SPD as a child heds what are you symptoms is it autism burnout years? It very hard pain everyday
Sam, you have a wonderful sense of humour 😂
On the topic of burnout:
For the last 6 years I‘ve managed to work full time, since August 2021 I‘m running on empty (seeing it written down how long this has been going on scares me).
In the past I quit jobs when I became too exhausted but I vowed to myself to not do that anymore to stay financially afloat (I‘m 41, I can‘t go back to living off of 600€/month again).
My hope is that I can somehow cut down my hours to 30 a week otherwise I‘m busted 😂
I do that exact same thing about remembering where i was or what i was doing while listening to something 😱😱
I have relistened to podcasts and can remember cleaning the bathtub while listening to that part or making dinner and what exactly I was making dinner
Hi, I’m Dyslexic and ADHD. Daughter is Autistic and I suspect her father is. I do not believe I am Autistic however many of my symptoms are similar and I am currently in burnout and watching both of you because so many of your recommendations from previous videos have been helpful with ideas. Also a parent who seems to find other neurodivergent parents, probably because I can’t do surface level conversations and click well with other neurodivergent parents…..now thinking about it may scare off neurotypical parents.
Check out rccx gene theory autism att4acts ADHD in the other amazing ime autism ADHD my partner ADHD my son ADHD asperger's.
Do you have pain with your burnouts
"Tricking my self to do things in a less efficient way... "
Oh, that's something I already do.
Hello from Seattle, WA
I got a kick out of that super market question. 😅
My father got me a electric violin from his brother and I wind up buying myself a cheaper non electric violin because I hated having to set up the electric violin lol. I love my keyboard too because all I have to do is plug it in and it's lower in sound
Hi Sam and Paul! I am autistic with some aspects of ADHD. I suscribw for the summit. The time zone complicates it a little as I am I the Netherlands (9 a.m. is midnight here). Are the lectures recorded?
I will do my best to join part of it at the beginning, but I might feel tired eventually.
At what time does it end?
Thanks!
Thank you for this video. I am currently burned out af and trying to get some things out of this video.
P.s.: Good to see you without makeup. That lessens the thinking I have to do to imagine a person behind the "mask".
I am “formally” diagnosed ASD & ADD
Without hearing from people with lived experience it's practically impossible to get any more than essentially a bad yelp review of autism...
Like labelling someone as pathologically demand avoidant, very passive-aggressive terminology. I only just heard it called constant drive for autonomy (or similar). Accurate and non-judgemental.
Ireland 🇮🇪
Wait, what do you do when the item isnt there at the grocery store?
Uhhhhh you might both wanna look into POTS about your low blood pressure! Chloe Hayden talks a bit about it
The sound is distracting. You both diserve compliments for doing this video. I better leave before I get burnt out. lol
I think Paul talking about burnout as if there's nothing he could do to prevent it sounds extremely discouraging.
Is this really live? Because i never get this lucky. WTF
Ah yes, with ChatGPT, the neurotypicals have been replaced in society! The AI has figured out all your social rules better than we ever could!