1. Hyperfocus 2. Sensory avoidant 3. Sensory seeking 4. Subtle Social Challenges 5. Presenting as flexible/highly adaptable, while internally having difficulty with change.
I had to unlearn my hyperfocus cause people made fun of me "hello, you sleeping?" 😑 when I was focusing on work I sometimes didn't hear what people around me were talking about or were talking to me
I was undiagnosed until earlier this year. I'm 47. People have told me I'm weird/ a loner/ unfriendly/ an introvert, too sensitive for my whole life. The autism community on youtube are awesome & there are some great content creators who have helped me feel less like a freak & more like a human being. 💚
50 and self diagnosed after 3 years of research and self observing of my behaviors and patterns. Plus, all or most of my college friends are neurodivergent although that word didn’t exist in the early 90’s.
@@taoist32 both my fiancée and I are self-diagnosed. I don’t usually like self-diagnosing but A) We both check off every single box symptom-wise and B) We see it CLEARLY in each other. Her mom wouldn’t even listen when I tried to explain it to her. Just shut me down completely. She doesn’t believe in anything beyond Bipolar and even then acts like it’s the worst possible thing in the world - like it’s catching a VD. So, if her family aren’t going to try to understand us yet still sit there calling us “over sensitive” and saying things like “Wow, you get your feelings hurt so easily!” well, they shouldn’t even have to wonder why it is they’re hearing less and less from us…even during the holiday season. To us, they are toxic people and that’s exactly what we do NOT need: To feel EXTRA misunderstood and like we’re a couple of freaky weirdos. Or, how they make us feel like we’re mentally challenged or something; like it makes us beneath them in every possible way - even like have lower IQs. I can tell you, we’re so much more self aware and, no offense, a heck of a lot more emotionally and mentally intelligent than the bunch of them combined. Sorry to sound harsh but you’ll have to take my word for it. My mom will disagree on our self-diagnosis but in a grown up, gentle, civil way. That’s fine, because she’ll end up listening to why I believe my fiancée and I both are on the spectrum, reconsider what she previously thought and even reconsider it. But that’s good ol’ mom for ya. My mom was always my saving grace and my Angel growing up while my dad, who may be on the spectrum himself, didn’t want to deal with his off the wall, “weirdo”, hyperactive son (me). He never had the patience for me and “Always wanted me to just be “normal””. Sorry dad. Quite sad how I’m 49, my fiancée is 44 and we are STILL disrespected by certain family members of ours. Mostly her side. Oh, and Katie, although I’m a 49 year old man, I deep-dive into EVERYTHING I become interested in or am already interested in. Just letting you know. I haven’t finished the video yet because I just had to reply to these wonderful people in this thread. And I am a lonnnng time viewer too, Katie. You rock! Thank you for so many years you have spent helping this total stranger over here. You’re the best. Sending you all my best wishes for a WONDERFUL 2025! And all of YOU in this comment section as well. ❤ Much love to you all! ❤❤❤❤
40 same it was a relief let me close alot of loops especially from my childhood masked it with alcohol for a long time but ive let ot go :) still struggle but its not a bad thing or a malformation i recon its a evolutionary niche and powerful if u could harness it in a way i cant on the reg but it can be done.
I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s. I am now 42 and being diagnosed this late makes it very hard for me because adults with autism don't get the support they need. And people think we don't need help because we've survived this long without it but surviving and living are two different things.
Does it even matter, though? If you don't get the support you need, despite surviving, you're still pretty much where you were before you got diagnosed.
Not exactly at least in my case because there’s now an explanation for all this stuff that I just thought was awkward, crazy weird, etc. and they do have some resources for intervening and a much younger demographic is luckily enough to access that. Growing up in a 70s and 80s And female that was most definitely not an option. It’s also very frustrating when some of the people closest to me, have flipped some switch since learning about the diagnosis before I was often criticized for poor time management special interests, no eye contact social awkwardness, just being a bit of an odd duck. I did have hyperlexia. I taught myself to read very very early and I tested very well on reading comprehension, and the standardized Iowa tests they used to have, but once I was around 11 and it got to dividing with fractions and such not only lost interest, but my ranking in my class plummeted. Under achieving daydreaming, not paying attention all over my report cards, my potential, etc. I only just learned about pathological demand avoidance from a friend of many years who seven-year-old son has autism also as well as ADHD like myself and I’m so glad I have a friend who understands that or accepts that because some of the people I’ve known for years or I’m related to? They point out my wins and not my struggles. I have a drivers license and part time job. I run a business. Also I went to college I was married. But they remind me of these things with the sort of suck it up and walk it off attitude When honestly almost my entire life has been imposter syndrome masking and waves of self-doubt so severe that I often volunteer even now some kind of apology explanation, or justify my presence in a room or situation whatsoever. Seeing colleagues and friends, who are parents of autistic children receiving OT And one on one educator created learning plans would’ve been probably a very big game changer and self image if I had been able to receive the same support. Also people speak more openly about divergence than they did when I was a kid so that even though kids will be kids and sometimes they’re mean sometimes they’re just honest it’s not that same derisive lack of human empathy that I saw sometimes directed at me and much worse for a couple of my classmates who I have later learned as an adult are on the spectrum. Nowadays, it’s not an excuse, but at least it’s more of an explanation or a reason why that kid is a little different than the rest of the class and if it isn’t so otherized to the point of ostracizing. There is a bit more acceptance of it for lack of a better word being normalcy comparable to why on other classmate with spina bifida needs to use his wheelchair avoid my granddaughters class who has a prosthetic limb. I don’t know if that made sense in an explanation, but I hope so.❤
I would say that difficulty with transitions is huge. It can be transitions between tasks, or places, or people. That is extremely draining. That is why if you are on the spectrum you thrive with routines. I have noticed this with both of my kids who are on the spectrum
Yes it feels like you’ve slowly adhered to something, only to be suddenly torn off like a plaster 🩹 and it never sticks back as well once it’s been ripped off, so jarring!
I've followed you for a bit when I was first diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. Now, after thorough testing the my psych provider pushed for, it was ruled out, and I was Autism, ADHD, Narcolepsy type 1, and possible focal seizures that affect autonomic functions. It all makes sense now and it took a decade for doctors to realize it. But the comorbidities of Autism is sleeping disorders and seizures. To function in life, I microed sleeped a ton, and my seizures are almost completely invisible. But because of my Autism, I struggled to put to words what was happening. My sleep specialist said my hallucinations were just my brain going into REM cycles while awake. I have 60 credits at a university from the age of 16-18 that I don't remember at all. Getting off psych meds and on Narcolepsy meds, anti-seizure meds, has finally allowed me to go baxk to school ❤ definitely glad you spoke on this!
I always had this feeling of not belonging to a certain place at any social event. A feeling of discomfort, as if there was a problem with my appearance, my clothes, etc. Like a voice that said "you shouldn't be here." It's smaller today at 60, but I still have something like that.
I was recently diagnosed at age 52. I do see all of these signs from though out my life. I have a quiet mild personality and soft spoken. I also have dysthymia. So an autistic meltdown for me does not look like the stereotypical view. I have watched your videos for quite a long time and I am glad you are making more on neurodiversity. With all of my studies in psychology (a hyperfixation), it never occurred to me that I had autism. Thank you for bringing this brain type to light.
Can you share what your meltdowns do like (if it's not too personal)? I'm still investigating the possibility of my own autism, and i'm finding a lot of things that seem like autism but aren't the stereotype and things that could be technically the stereotype but presenting in an unusual way.
@inspectre27 I would say my meltdowns are typically unseen. I am not sure I would call them meltdowns either. I will usually get into an argument with my wife and essentially retreat somewhere and isolate. But the point is that, for me, my autism is like ither autistics, but I am very high masking. So, I will even question autism even with a diagnosis. Because there are certain things that I do without realizing it that are clearly autistic. I shut myself off to the world after work. At least an hour. Eye contact is a learned behavior I try to use, but it is extremely uncomfortable and takes effort. I don't get all the social cues, physical or verbal. I only get humor when I am masking. I also only get my own sarcasm. My therapist mentioned the idea of shyness as if my social wars are rooted in that. But, I have such strong fears of talking to certain people that I will suffer before talking to a person. Autism shows up a little differently in each person. So don't discount autism just because the signs and symptoms are not stereotypical.
10:22 I always maintain the illusion of being flexible simply by not giving my opinion on things like “where do you want to go eat“ or “what kind of game or movie do you want to watch?“ I just always defer to whatever anyone else wants and then shut off my mind and don’t think about anything so that I don’t get upset.I just find it easier not to make a choice at all and turn off my brain then to try to advocate for what I want. It’s way too much stress.
I'm so happy that an actual professional is talking about this!! Even if it's not Doctor Morton's speciality. I can't talk from a professional stand point as I am not one. I'm just a fellow autistic person. But this is what my own channel is all about. Unfortunately, over the last 5 years I've owned my channel I've tried to collab with actual professionals but so far they have all ignored my attempts to reach out. It's ok though. I get it, no one takes a non professional tiny channel seriously. haha. I'll keep trying and hope one day to collab with a medical pro. I love the video. Always makes me happy when I see Autism being talked about. =)
My frustration is I cannot make people see me. If I tell them about my issues, they tell me I’m wrong. They tell me how easy it is to fix myself and that I am responsible for my own problems.
If you are high functioning, this is frustrating. You need a support group . It's kind of " if you know, you know ". Peer support of other people who have autism will help .
My youngest son is on the spectrum and helping him learn to function within the normie world has shown a bright spotlight on my own (still mostly undiagnosed) ASD. I'm turning 68 in Feb. Knowing what I know now, I can see I am autistic... classically so. Thank you for what you are doing. You help a lot.
The idea that we cant socialize is also a misconception; they found that an Autistic among Allistics will have difficulty socializing or will be perceived as awkward or weird; but among other Auristics, we often socialize just fine and an Allistic person among Autistics will be the one having difficulty socializing.
There was a study that actually showed that it is a bit like speaking a different language due to the way the two groups understand and process things differently. Hence the communication barrier between but not within.
Exactly. The research called it the Double Empathy Problem and actually has found autistic people on average tended to understand neurotypical people better than the other way around, probably because we spend so much time in cultural immersion essentially compared to NTs.
this kinda came at the perfect time. My new psychiatrist brought up Autism to me today after years of struggling with the wrong med combos. I've had 8 other mental health professionals tell me the same thing and in the past I always dismissed it but this time I actually listened and am thinking maybe it's time to look further into it
I just got diagnosed this year (honestly a couple of weeks ago). I'm 48 and my entire life I've felt like I don't fit in and have been "unacceptable". It's such a relief to have a reason for it now.
Congrats! I was diagnosed earlier this year (almost 40) and it’s been a year of lots of processing and learning, but it’s been good growth. I’d had therapists and psychiatrists before, but it always felt like they didn’t “get” me and there was something major missing from the help I was receiving. Now I finally have a psychologist that is treating me with neurodivergence-affirming therapy and it’s what’s always been missing. Therapy feels so much more helpful now.
@@PsychActually I started therapy almost three years ago and within a couple of months my therapist was "you know about that autism thing..." which was wonderful (though I initially balked because I worried that the things that had been issues my entire life were my fault).
I'm pretty sure I was misdiagnosed with ASD when I was 13. It was based on having a focused interest in video games and some problems socializing. I don't remember getting an evaluation, and ever given the opportunity to answer questions or to give input on the diagnosis. The reality is I have ADHD, and video games is a particularly dopaminergic activity. Due to the inattention aspect, I'm pretty sure my early problems with socializing have to do with consistently missing social cues. But when I'm dialed in, I can receive them just fine and digest them instinctively. Now that I've gotten treatment for ADHD, I found I don't play as many games and I have a lot of varying interests that come and go. I also find that I can engage with people much easier.
Katie, thank you for doing research on this subject and for spreading awareness about it. I think it’s important to mention that the Autism Spectrum Disorder criteria underwent a MAJOR overhaul in 2013 (barely more than a decade ago). These changes help to include a larger number of people who are living the autistic experience while simultaneously presenting in non-stereotypical ways. Unfortunately, in 2024 most clinicians (counselors, doctors, psychiatrists, and even psychologists) are undereducated about the non-stereotypical presentations of autism. Unless you are lucky, or unless you do your research and find someone who specializes or otherwise has gone out of their way to educate themselves extensively on this area of neurodevelopmental disorders (like Katie here), you’re likely to be gaslit by professionals if you inquire about the possibility of being autistic. Not to project my own experience onto everyone else, but I think my own experience has been representative of a fairly typical experience for “high-masking” autistic adults trying to find answers from professionals. I went to several counselors and psychiatrists and none of them identified my autism. I also have ADHD, and when I went to the ADHD specialist (a psychologist, PhD) that does psychometric testing (and I was told is the best in my area), I told her I thought I might be autistic. She asked me ONE question and then dismissed my answer by saying my symptoms could just be ADHD and she doesn’t think I’m autistic. I believed her, because she’s a professional. Then a year later, after learning a lot more from other autistic content creators, I was once again really resonating with the autistic experiences I kept hearing about. So I researched and found a psychology group that specializes in adult diagnosis of neurodivergent conditions, and I was indeed diagnosed with ASD almost a year ago. I am almost 40. Since my diagnosis, if I mention to doctors and medical professionals that I am autistic, their face goes completely blank they say nothing in response to me, then they change the subject completely. I think this might mean that they either know nothing about how someone like me could be autistic, or they may think I am not autistic so they choose not to respond? None of them have asked me a single question about my autism (like “is there anything I can do to better accommodate your needs?” or “is there anything you’d like for me to know about your autism or how that might impact your experience here?” Etc etc) Regardless, my diagnosis has been transformative. Therapy has always felt like something was missing, but now that I have a therapist that knows how to treat me in the context of my autism, ADHD, AND trauma, I feel like what I need from therapy is the help I’m FINALLY getting after a lifetime of looking.
There are several details in your story that resonate with my own. I’m 10 years older and didn’t find out until by accident during lockdown that I’ve been diagnosed twice with what they then called Asperger‘s my pediatrician said I had ADHD and it wasn’t until I was in grad school That it was truly validated by a couple of other doctors and educators. But I definitely can relate to that awkward pause when you tell a medical professional that you have autism and you get the blank stare. I’ve had a couple people ignorantly say that perhaps I shouldn’t drive anymore. Now that I know I’m autistic unfortunately, one of them is my cousin, but she’s kind of problematic to Any people in a marginalized group that doesn’t match her demographic sadly. I had to go testify as a witness for a court case involving my next-door neighbor last year, and the court was incredibly warm, and I hadn’t considered that I might be getting people looking at me before it was my turn to be called to the stand. I was wearing a kind of sleeveless blouse camisole under my suit jacket, and I put it back on when I gave my statement but afterwards when the judge was asking the members of the jury if they had any questions about the proceedings, there was a man who asked the judge, “isn’t it against the law for an autistic to get a tattoo?” so me I thought that was probably the only person on earth who would wonder such a thing but a couple of my sister’s neighbors ask the same thing. I actually haven’t had alcohol in many years in solidarity with my spouse when he became sober, but at that same barbecue with my sister and her neighbors I was holding a plastic diet, Gingerale with ice sipping that and one of the same anti-tattoo ladies mentioned to my sister, like I wasn’t there “ you ought to take that away from her. You know slow people aren’t supposed to drink alcohol.” my sweet Grand nephew said. “ my auntie is only slow when she doesn’t want to go somewhere people would be mean.”❤ he wasn’t wrong.😂
Wow! If I was the judge I would have swapped that juror for an alternate due to clearly questionable reasoning skills. And I love your grand nephew standing up for you like that. People can be so dumb 🤦🏻♀️ Sorry those things happened to you!
I was diagnosed at 39 years old. What really opened my eyes was a the book “Asperger’s on the job” by Rudy Simone. I tried to solve my problems from its symptoms (mainly depression). But never understood why it didn’t work. Reading about the struggles at work for high functioning autistic people in that book, was like reading my diary. I finally understood why I couldn’t fix my problems the “normal” way. I think work is pretty telling when it comes to autistic people.
I am sensitive to sound and there are a lot of noises that stress me out; people with grating voices, dogs barking, kids crying, people who scuff their feet when they walk, and even songs or commercials I loathe on the radio (I turn the volume to zero when they come on) but if I hear music I like, I will want to listen to it over and over and over again. I have a very inner physical response to it and it can sometimes make me quite emotional. As far as touch goes, I hate certain types: my own strands of hair in my face or tickling my skin if one gets loose and gets into my clothes, strangers touching me - especially in a light way (like a really wan handshake), and how clothing can feel and the way it fits. On the other side of all that, I have this weird thing where I save my t-shirts that have been washed so much they become almost see-through. The fabric is so soft that it calms me to sit and run the fabric through my fingers while I watch tv. I also love splashing freezing cold water on my face in the morning to really wake myself up. I'm 50 and not yet diagnosed but I'm pretty sure it's the case with me. I've got some pretty weird quirks and have never really felt like I fit in.
Also, Kati I’m sorry I misspelled your name in that earlier comment. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve been watching your channel for a long time and I really appreciate your content. Honestly, for a long time I was concerned I might have BPD because I related to some of those symptoms (like emotional dysregulation, difficulties with relationships, etc). But now I understand that I related to those symptoms because they can appear similar to ASD symptoms, yet the “reason” behind the symptom is totally different. I have now learned that BPD is the #1 misdiagnosis that undiagnosed autistic women receive. For example, autistic people struggle with emotional dysregulation like people with BPD, but this is due to their very sensitive nervous system being easily overwhelmed. Autistic meltdowns can often look like a temper tantrum or an angry outburst like someone with BPD might display, but meltdowns are involuntary nervous system overwhelm and not meant to manipulate a situation to get what the autistic person wants. Also, people with ADHD and ASD commonly experience rejection sensitive dysphoria, compounded by the trauma of many social rejections in their lifetime. This can be confused with the fear of abandonment that people with BPD experience. Aka, abandonment is a type of rejection and they feel very similar. Both can be huge triggers for people with ASD and BPD, but for different reasons. The history of social difficulties and failed relationships that people with ASD often have looks similar to those with BPD (on cursory look). But digging deeper, the CAUSE of the problem for ASD vs. BPD is completely different. Ok those are just a few of the symptoms that can look similar on first glance (without taking a closer look under the hood!) but just wanted to share those as a start. Thank you for reading!
Hi Katie. Love that you are covering this topic. 58yo female who has given up hope on getting a formal dx of autism at this point but I know my brain so... A few things to add: #1 I believe this kind of hyper-focused thinking is referred to as monotropism. #4A. Autistic traits not being "noticeable" can often be due the autistic person's sense of self-preservation causing them to actively mask/hide traits from others and/or themselves to fit in - ultimately resulting in health issues and autistic burnout. #4B. Autistic folks gravitating to each other or other neurodivergent folks is often the most natural fit. I can't cite the study but recall that groups of neurotypicals and groups of autistic folks were observed communicating just fine amongst themselves and only ran into significant issues when they two groups were combined - i.e., different types of brains have different styles of communication that makes sense to them. This would include your example of the girl liking trains and the girl coloring together - a form of socialization known as 'parallel play'...when two people are together physically enjoying another's company while participating in completely different activities. Keep up the great work!
I am SO glad you made this video. There is this HUGGGGGGGGGE wave taking over and saturating social media left and right with people who aren't getting properly diagnosed on all SORTS of things and pushing some type of weird trend/agenda for whatever reasons. Sharing this on everythingggggggg! ❤
Wonderful video Kati! I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism a few months ago. #5 is totally me. It’s really hard on me when plans change or when someone invites me to do something last minute. I need things planned out. I’ve never ever been one who liked spontaneous trips or anything like that. In the past, I’ve had so many friends and family members try to pressure me into doing things that I don’t want to do that I finally just started agreeing to things but ghosted them. Were they mad at me? Yes. Did they learn their lesson? Also yes. I really struggled with standing my ground with people so that they would accept it when I said “no, I don’t want to do that.” I’m currently trying to make new friends and I met a woman in a Facebook group her presented herself as being philanthropic. She reached out to me one day and asked me if I wanted to go to a Halloween party with her that night. I politely declined and informed her that I want feeling well. She tried to push me by saying “You should come out anyway. It’s a good excuse to meet new people.” I blocked her. I just don’t put up with that bs anymore. I still look flexible and calm to a lot of people and I still try to go with the flow in certain social situations. But yeah…. I identify with everything on this list, but #5 is the strongest. This was actually a big issue between me and my ex.
I can really relate to your comment. I didn't even realise this is how I was until recently. I'm now more upfront with people, but it always amazes me how some people can just go with the flow and accept changed plans without a care!
I have never seen anything about appearing flexible in relation to autism, so I appreciate this being included. I was diagnosed at 42 and really questioned this about myself. I cried quietly when plans would change as a teenager. Later, I asked people how crazy they thought I was, and they were truly unaware. Other times, I blame allergies.
I have Septo Optic Dysplasia. This rare brain condition caused me to be born completely blind, and it also caused me to be on the autism spectrum. I have a hyper focus on music, the therapeutic benefits of music, my favorite musicians, sensory items, and other things. I mask emotions and crying and sensory overloads to fit in. I’m a sensory seeker. I love the feel of certain textures, I love certain sounds, I love to swing, rock and I love deep pressure.
I was diagnosed as Autistic when I was 30 years old. I’m 40 now. It hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve had my share of struggles as an Autistic adult female. I did have trouble making eye contact. I still do, but because I work at a grocery stores as a cashier, I’ve kinda taught myself how to make some eye contact with the customers. I also struggle with holding conversations, but I do my best to try to talk to people. When it comes to sensory overload, I be on the register for more than 5 to 6 hours when it’s busy. When I work a seven hour shift, I usually try to take a mental break from cashing after I take my first 15 minute break. I get overwhelmed when I’m on the register for seven hours dealing with crabby customers, and not having a bagger to help me out. I also have trouble adapting to change at first. It’s a huge struggle for me.
I like Paul's videos on Autism from the Inside. He shares his personal experiences as well as thoughts within the community and shares workshops and resources for both autistic individuals and those working with them
Wow, this really changed my perspective of myself. I am 35, and last year I got diagnosed with BPD. I do think I have autistic traits, aspecially hyper focusing and sensory overload. Eating sounds, crowds, touch. Sometimes it hurts even to be touched, but it's more when I am upset.
You should look up videos explaining the differences between BPD and autism. I’m not saying you don’t have BPD (someone could have BPD and autism), but BPD is a common misdiagnosis for people who are autistic. The symptoms look strikingly similar at first glance to clinicians, but the REASONS behind the symptoms are different. (Ex. An autistic meltdown can often just look like losing your shit and yelling at someone) BPD is the #1 misdiagnosis of undiagnosed autistic adult women. That is mainly because a lot of clinicians associate BPD with women, so if they see a woman with emotional dysregulation, social issues and a few other things they immediately jump to BPD on their mind. But of course if women are misdiagnosed with BPD then men are, too. That particular cluster of symptoms is just less commonly complained about by men (or experienced by men?) so they receive the diagnosis less frequently.
Thank you for making this video! 💜 I have an autism diagnosis myself and I think that for the sensory avoidant and sensory seeking it can also be a mix, not only in avoindant at some point in time and seeking at another point in time, but also avoidant towards some of the senses and seeking for other senses. In my own experience I tend to be mostly avoidant for sounds and light, but I can be seeking for touch. For example I've noticed that it is very hard for me to not want to feel something if it looks very soft (in stores or anywhere) and, from people I trust and like, I also love to get a hug. (I know: most people think atistic people don't like hugs, well: some of us don't, some of us do) I will also have times I can't stand to get a hug, but I honestly don't think that is because of my autism (more related to negative things in my head). I don't know if this is helpful for anyone, but there you go, part of my experience as an autistic human being...
Omg yes! I feel like my whole life is pretending to be ok with things, cause I’m at least mildly uncomfortable all the time when I’m around people/in public/around noise or bright light. I’ve had to push those feelings down so much so, that it’s hard to check in with myself and focus on my own wants and needs. I’m always too busy fawning to and preempting what others want, trying to be ‘normal’. Even over xmas my family are very loud & talking over each other, it got too much yesterday & I had to nap, when I’d only just got up 😅. Merry Christmas everyone 🎄
I’ve been watching Kati since the beginning of her channel when she was focused more on DBT and I just have to say she has come so far. She mastered creating legit, educational, easy to digest content. Her videos have helped me so much.
2:43 Amen to Loop earplugs! I carry them everywhere. I am 57, late diagnosed, and autistic and ADHD (AuDHD), and sensory overload is a big problem for me. I wish they made something for loud smells 👃. Btw, love the pj’s!
Hey Kati, I love that you mentioned sensory seeking! Like you said, people usually talk only about the opposite, not really seeing that people can have both things on different days. I am autistic and when I am not overstimulated, I often find myself looking for stimulation, sometimes I even look for something like rough textures or even things that actually hurt, just because I feel like I need something highly stimulating. So thanks for talking about this! I like this video. :) I hope you have a nice christmas time!
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young kid (around 11) but I’ve been off meds all of my adult life (I’m 40 now) I have a few of the symptoms that you mentioned. Especially the last one. I live in my head obsessing about my perception of things even though I know how much it doesn’t help. I prefer to try and overcome things on my own my learning and understanding my diagnosis vs going right on meds. I’ll def watch this video again and see what other helpful things I can extract. Thanks for all your videos Kati
Like your video "8 Surprising signs of ADHD", this video kinda spoke to me. Not too long ago, I was taking a look at my life and it looks like I showed some signs of (undiagnosed) AuDHD. Same with bipolar disorder.
People are weird, how is that rude? It makes total sense that looking someone in the eye is very uncomfortable and you can't even focus on what they're saying. It's intimidating or flirty. A normal polite friendly conversation shouldn't require looking in the eyes 😂
I was diagnosed in my mid 20s because it was "easier" than looking at me as a whole and the diagnosis never sat right with me. A decade later and I'm in treatment for CPTSD after being misdiagnosed as having anxiety. Overall my "mainstream" signs of autism have disappeared and my therapist was encouraging me to get reassessed. Yet the possibility of not having autism also didn't feel right. For me the signs most people associate with autism only come out when the rest of the house is on fire. I seem "fine" yet I do the things in this video when I'm not struggling with everything else. Yet if my trauma conditions flare up if I go into an existential tail spin because of my past, suddenly I present more "traditionally" autistic. It's almost as if one thing can turn up the noise of everything else and really shows why mental health professionals of all kinds should talk to eachother. For some reason that doesn't happen where I live. We would have so much more understanding in the world if we did
as an autistic person, please do not use the colourful puzzle pieces as a symbol. it is the icon of a charity that is really not good and does not have autistic people in mind, ‘autism speaks’. a better symbol is a rainbow infinity sign
Yes, came here to say this. Also, if I remember correctly the rainbow infinity is for neurodivergence in general (still perfectly fine to use for autism), and a red and/or gold infinity is specifically for autism. (Red for the autistic-led "red instead" countermovement to anti-autism eugenics group Autism Speak's "light it up blue" thing or Gold for Au, the symbol for gold on the periodic table since autism starts with those letters). Please correct me if I'm wrong though.
@@megankidd4671 They believe things about autism that are not supported by science. They also tend to talk about autism like it is an illness that needs to be "cured".
I also dislike the use of puzzle pieces as a symbol for autism because it is just so clichéd and infantilising - giving the incorrect impression that autism mainly or only affects children
I just turned 38 about 2 weeks ago, and just started looking into exactly what autism is this last summer. So 2 months ago I asked my therapist and in my next session I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum. Our next sessions we are going to start diving in more into the spectrum to understand why my life has been the way it's been.
@Kati Morton (First off, thank you yet again)... If it still works this way on putting time-stamps and a brief title, anywhere in the description field, should produce _"Chapters"_ for quick and easy reference, and returns to specific parts. i.e. 0:44 #1 2:02 #2 4:04 #3 6:14 #4 9:25 #5 Verify the times I posted are suitable to you, for this video, then copy, just the five item list directly above, and paste into the description, at the very bottom/end - you should now have _"Chapters"_ (scrub-bar segments, that can be clicked to view each item... 😅 🙇 ☮ (I find this particularly helpful with _"X number of things, to consider for..."_ )
I’m hyper focused on being normal, being myself, being confident, being less invisible and being less autistic. Creating relationships is the most challenging thing ever and it really drains all my energy and focus, so much that it hurts sometimes. I can’t quite relax. It’s a cycle of bad feeling and good feelings constantly swirling.
Kati, thank you! I only received my dx(along with adhd) this past Jan when I was 62. I'm still learning what this all means to my life. You hit so much on point-thanks💜
There are also some people who are not on the spectrum, but have identical symptoms caused by different comorbidities. I am officially diagnosed with multiple disorders (mainly adhd and depression) that more or less make my symptoms almost identical to autism, but I technically do not have autism. This is why it is so important to not self-diagnose and seek out professionals.
Self-diagnosis is sometimes the only option available to individuals. Making a blanket statement about self diagnosis being bad in all circumstances further stigmatizes an already stigmatized group of people.
I don't think they were trying to make a blanket statement and/or that self diagnosis is innately badand/or to stigmatized anything. I think they were merely making note that professional help can provide additional insight, guidance, and tools. Just as it is important to know and talk about these things, it is also important to get it correct and thus to be open and aware of other possibilities and options. For instance, if meds are involved or needed, getting those and getting the right ones is important. Likewise, yes, not everyone has the resources to get professional help. If it is available though, by all means, try to get it rather than struggle by oneself.
@@LuckyGirlsTown You can't self diagnose. Only professionals can do that. You can think you have it and say "I might have ______" but you don't have the full professional knowledge to diagnose.
There are also some people on the spectrum, who have been diagnosed with different disorders, because they themselves didn’t understand autism as well as their degree would have you think. That for example some disorders share similarities with ASD. That ASD itself suggest by its name ,that it is a spectrum. A spectrum which may or may not include several or all of the subcategories found on the spectrum. Things like: OCD, ADHD, PDA among others. That therefore it is difficult in adults especially, to correctly identify ASD in someone, who may heavily mask and experience their symptoms so to speak , as anxiety and depression. Therefore ending up with a diagnosis of anxiety and depression, not ASD. When perhaps the underlying reason for the depression and anxiety is Autism. I think another commonality among folks with autism is their experience of always having felt “ other”, different from others somehow, like they were adopted, or part alien , since childhood. Perpetually misunderstood, struggling socially often in one way or another. ….outgoing maybe even but still struggle and get completely overwhelmed at some point. You try to fit in , try to have normal lives and do those things but somehow it doesn’t work that way for you. You constantly process so much information and often wondered , do other people even think much? I think about everything from every angle and consider so many aspects before I formulate a response. Or I go blank and almost black out if I feel completely out of place. I freeze. Fight / flight/ freeze responses are reached far more quickly in a person with ASD. When everything is filtered through your emotional intelligence process , and that’s your primary form of navigating and assessing your safety in your world, your reality, when that is NOT how most people experience their reality, then the result is exactly the mis congruence with others. And no matter how hard you try to communicate YOU, someone that isn’t having this experience is unable to relate, to perceive what you perceive. And that’s the problem. We freeze , We fight We run / flight In a way folks with ASD feel that it’s the world that has a problem, not they themselves. And I would agree . Everyone would benefit from a kinder , gentler and more intelligent, thoughtful, considerate , informed world Thank you ❤
You can’t diagnose yourself as a non-professional but you can self-diagnose. That’s the meaning of self-diagnose. It’s not an official diagnosis. But it’s recognized and accepted in the autism community because, at this moment in time, there are difficulties that inhibit most people who are high-masking adults to seek out or be properly evaluated by a clinician knowledgeable on this subject. It’s hard to explain, but autism isn’t just a collection of symptoms. Our brains simply work differently (I am officially diagnosed by a professional). This results in what we can describe as a collection of symptoms, but our brains are so different. When we do extensive research and listen to a lot of other autistic content creators and talk to other autistic people, we start to know in our bones that we are autistic because these people all share *something* very different than most people and we know we share that same difference. It’s a fundamental difference in how our brains think. The specific traits and personalities are unique to each autistic person, but there’s SOMETHING different that is in how autistic people think and interface with the world, and we resonate with that in other autistic people. I am far enough on this journey that I can often tell of someone else is autistic (whether they know it or not) after a very brief time around them. Of course I wouldn’t diagnose them, but I still know! And no, I’m not saying it’s a feeling. It’s something concrete it’s just not something that I have the words to explain in a concrete way.
cause how weird it would look on the outside... and they have to put the information about what fabric and how to wash and iron. I always remove every tag but I also wouldn't want that on the outside lol.
Hi Katie, I stumbled upon your videos a day or so before Christmas and been watching a few. They are extremely down to earth and helpful. Thank you for the tip about Loop Earplugs... ordered and anxiously awaiting. At 68 I think I have learned from your videos that I was emotionally neglected as a child... even the dog got more touching than I did. As well there was some physical abuse in terms of a rubber strap kept handy in the kitchen... I was definitely not a horrid little brat! Apparently touching me with the strap was fine but hugs, pat on the back, etc was taboo. I will never understand that. Thank you for all you do here! 😊 Paul
I'm 22, only just found out at 21 that I'm autistic. I didn't make friends easily in elementary school, and in middle school I got one comment from another kid about my face looking weird that sent me on my masking journey, not that I knew that's what it was at the time of course. I started constantly monitoring my face, my body language, my tone, what I said, all of it. I started psychoanalyzing everything everyone around me and on TV did, and picked up certain phrases and mannerisms. It took a lot of trial and error, paying close attention to how people reacted to my edits in social situations, but by high school I think I had a lot of it figured out. I finally started to make more friends, as this overly bubbly personality that definitely wasn't me. I always felt sad, thinking it felt like nobody knew the "real me," because I didn't feel like I could be myself, as every time I did, I got a weird look, or a mean comment, or I would have less friends. Finding out I'm autistic was a huge eye opener for me. Suddenly years of feeling like I couldn't be myself and like I was putting on a performance made so much sense. And the fact that I had a couple specific special interests that I tried not to talk about because when I did, I would annoy people as I wouldn't be able to stop yapping about it for a really long time. And why I feel absolutely exhausted after social situations, why bright lights bother me to the point I need to close my eyes to shut out the stimulation, and why I rock back and forth all the time to manage the stress of it all. Unmasking is hard to do when it becomes so ingrained in your personality over the years. It's crazy how we can learn to act normal, but people have no idea how hard we're working to be liked and accepted on the inside. People don't understand that autism can be hidden, and it is also a huge spectrum that can present differently in different people.
My family always told me that when I find something in interested in, I go all in on it. I never thought that was anything special, it's just doing hobbies that I enjoy. I'm not diagnosed yet but going to get tested soon. I have many friends on the spectrum, I just get along very well with them.
i am unable to get support or help or even an official diagnosis.. doctors know nothing about it.. and I'm in my fifties... i get comments like 'well you've made it this far without a diagnosis'
It’s sensory differences it’s not automatically sensory avoidant. Some autistic people are sensory seeking for some things, even those without adhd as well
Just wanna say I am new here to your channel. I look forward to watching your upcoming videos. I am on a healing journey and have been for years. I half to keep learning and to continue to grow in my journey. In a way I feel we are all in the same boat. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
The autism channel that oddly just showed up in my feed as I was watching a video made me see that I may be autistic. She is autistic and has 2 kids who are also, but she mostly helps by sharing what she's learning. Her channel is Mom on the Spectrum Also? There's an incredible Dr named Tony Attwood. He has so much info between his YT interviews and his website that it's an excellent rabbit hole😊 Thanks again, Kati
#2 is why I dislike family events a lot. A lot of people in a confined space with a lot of ambient, uncontrollable noise. It's especially bad when the house I'm at doesn't have proper sound dampening stuff like couches, rugs, etc in a room and makes it super echoey. Like I love my family, but I also don't like how overstimulating these events are
Katie, thank you so much for this video & thanks to every person on the spectrum who commented! I relate to so many of the comments & am grateful for the vibrant autistic community on TH-cam!. 💯🙏😊
I was diagnosed with AuDHD when I was 41. My whole life, my AuDHD traits were misdiagnosed as BPD, OCD, general anxiety disorder, and trauma-related. People say my dad is "weird" and has anger management issues - he is not weird, he has intense special interests and fails to understand most social interactions. He doesn't have anger management issues, those are autistic meltdowns. I used to wonder why there are so many alcoholics in my family. Now I understand they are also undiagnosed adhd/ autistic/ audhd.
...maybe it's the world that has gone crazy and not us. No one can tell me that the level of noise or the amount of people in any big city or the sheer amount of visual impulses we are bombarded with all the time is normal or I should be able to put up with that. I might be neurotic, I might be socially awkward but I'm definitely not _autistic_
Have all 5. Was diagnosed ASD at age 52. Built a very successful career and had a family. Hyperfocus + high intelligence = superb masking. Especially in a society that highly values boys and men that can provide and stoically cope with their own problems. Unfortunately undiagnosed (and unsupported) ASD, when growing up, is a recipe for social trauma. All of the people I know with late diagnosed ASD have socially traumatic childhood/school histories.
Any time I leave the house, I make sure I have my noise reducing earmuffs with me. It isn't too uncommon for me to go mute if I find myself in an environment that is to loud.
Thanks Kati, this is brilliant. I'm 58 now and 10 years ago I started trying to figure out some issues I'd had since I was a child. After years of doing my own research I'm convinced it's a mild version of autism. I think autism was only diagnosed back in the 70s if it was very pronounced. My parents and my school always treated me like I was smart, so I felt okay about choices I made like minimizing social interactions, hyper-focusing on a limited set of interests, etc. It worked out okay for most of my life, but I kind of wish I'd have worked a little harder to minimize some of the effects you mentioned in the video. Sometimes I think if I'd had those traits to a slightly greater degree I might have gotten a diagnosis and ended up with better results in the long run.
so i been on the autism spectrum sense i was 6 years old. often i hide my self from the world because i have limited time to complete things. i still live with my parents when everyone else in my family lives on there own. i feel like i have a pledge to stay alive for my friends. i also have hyper focus on things. lately its been a 3 to 11.50 job. i have a few book shelfs of interests i had for a day. i built a history as far back to the dawn of man. as i build my library i build a understanding that is deeper then what i would get in a public library right off the bat. often i catch mistakes that are so small a good person knows. im often called immature by my managers but they don't understand my life. i am going to be a great metal worker one day. and my brain still have dreams to become more adapt at tooling and lathing cutting metal to shape and moveing it down the line. was next, but i got down the line in some new waters. in metal that i had no clue about i make parts for the plumping industry. its only fair to learn about the basic so i can better equip my brain in the function of this metal. I'm a metal crafter of sort. were the metal hits the oil that's were my friendships are created. i could work in factory's build parts all day with other friendly individuals i could move parts to production lines thats how strong i was i could move 45 pounds consistently and greater. the heaviest thing i moved was a bag full of crafting pellets there must have been 45 pounds each x 50 bags or something 200 feet. anyone could do it not everyone would want too. then i placed it on something so a forklift could lift it. then i placed it in a way a electric fork scooter could pick it up. i was trained to do the scooter part but no one wanted to give me the job. i could do it. but then i would be missing my trip out with parts. i might do 8 trips in a night. or close to 15 trips. all depends on the calls of the team leads. i could make 50 calls in a night and call down parts like a organized butler. not everyone can handle the old way of doing things. i regimented stepped my way around 3 areas last Thursday. its a new plant lay out and i have mastered the error fixing in the plant. i saw that half the things were set up in a way unfair for the one in the area. i fixed and got what the team lead wanted. its really about perspective if you think about it.
I was diagnosed with Autism in December 2022. My family haven't got a clue what Autism is, and don't seem to want to understand it. If things get overwhelming for me when I'm out with my mum, instead of supporting me, she has a go at me about it.
A big misunderstanding is that sensory issues are not always the extremes like lights being bright, noises being too loud, smells being too strong, tastes being strong, weather being hot/cold, textures. You can also be hyposensitive to things. For me its sounds that I can just barely hear that bother me to the point I sleep with noise canceling headphones. Each person can have different sensory issues which is rarely explained
Can definitely relate to this. I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago now and im in my 30s. What I find funny is that before i was even diagnosed, i had a neurodivergent friend ask me if i was autistic. I denied it at the time, but this friend wasnt surprised when i told her after my diagnosis that i was autistic.
This episode is so interesting to me. I recently realized that my husband of 43 years, who is in his early 70s, is on the spectrum. I found myself laughing all the way through the episode as so much of it is him!
I went to Kaiser Permanente in Northern California to seek an adult autism spectrum diagnosis and they asked me what my ultimate goal in getting tested was and what I wanted from them. Confused, I answered that maybe they could help provide support and advocacy for me, but they were bothered that I couldn't already articulate what support I needed, pre-diagnosis. The branch I visited for testing allotted 4 hours only on Monday mornings to personality disorder and neurodivergence testing. They didn't deal with ASD or other such testing for the rest of the business week. The wait list for testing appointments was 6 months long. It took an additional 3 months for their post doc students to write the report on the results, despite telling me when I completed my testing that the diagnosis and report would be ready in two weeks. Two weeks later I called to inquire and they again told me 2 more weeks. Rinse and repeat until 3 months had passed. In the report they suggested that I read a specific book, which when I looked it up, had not been published yet. So I would not recommend them
Troughout my whole existence I couldn't realize that being rude with people over the internet could have led me into this situation where I find myself right now, I have been smeared in the dirt, and I am living under brain torture. I have learned my lesson of always take into consideration what people who doesn't know me might perceive me from the other side of the screen and to not write anything that might sound remotely threathening or aggressive in any contest or under any circumstances. I only ask for this brain torture I live with to stop please, I can't keep living like this, I want to be happy again, please.
Kati, I have watched your videos for years and love the way you deal with topics and the way you explain things in such a lovely way. I know you don't specialise in autism, but would you consider doing a video on how to raise children with autism? I'm a step mother to a teen with autism. They are highly functioning so it has been hard to know when certain things she does that I find rude is due to her autism or are self-centred teenager behaviours that should require discipline. Thanks so much.
Hyperfocus and special interests are two very separate things. Hyperfocus is when you are very into something and spend hours and hours on it, often forgetting to do things like drink or eat or go to the toilet. By definition it is something one is focusing intensly on for a period of time, this can be both in terms of "working" on something like a project for long intense periods (or playing a video game or reading a book, etc.), and to have an intensified interest in a topic for an extended period of time (anywhere between hours to years). This can also apply to things like picking up a new hobby, becoming really invested in one project, then never doing the hobby again. They can be enjoyed fully and with a passion and then stopped entirely without being missed. Special interests are completely different. While one can indeed hyperfocus on a special interest (immersing in it for hours for hours and forgetting everything else), they are such a fundamental part of the autistic person. They help regulate our nervous system, provide comfort, shape a lot of aspects of our lives and personalities, and tend to last for much longer periods of time, often being life long even with dips and peaks in how much time we spend with them. When they are missing from our lives from a long period we do not feel ok, it's like a piece of our being is missing. If they are taken away from us (e.g. we might feel the need to step away from them because it is revealed the people involved are horrible and ruining people's lives), it can feel like a part of us died, we feel deep grief and can struggle to function until we can find something else that we can feel as deeply bonded with. I find it hard to describe the difference, but there are a lot of people out there who have done a better job than me. To add an outside detail people tell me that when I talk about my special interests, it's like there are stars in my eyes and I am sparkling, when talking about a hyperfocus I am more "intense" 😂
[1] 0:44 - _"Hyper Focus - Having [solely, dedicated/Monolithic] Special Interests"_ [2] 2:02 - _"Sensory Avoidant"_ (smells, sounds, lights, touch - overstimulating/overwhelming) [3] 4:04 - _"Sensory Seeking"_ [Stimulation] (bored or agitated without sufficient, specific stimuli) *{Note: a balance, and possible specificity between sensory types of _Avoidant, and Seeking,_ and that the former is often not in our control, where the latter, typically is, necessarily in our control). [4] 6:14 - _"Subtle Social Challenges - Social Challenges that are not obvious"_ {AvPD-like?} Doesn't _'look'_ typical Autism [5] 9:25 - _"Presenting as Flexible While having difficulty with change"_ Masking, Overthinking,
The most frustrating one for me is when I am trying to tell someone something and people don't react the way I thought they would or I learn that I completely miss body language that goes with their response.
On the spot. I hyperfocus and it's draining!! Also agree on the stimuli seeking and needing to be flexible, but struggle with it. I was diagnosed in 2019 at 29 years
i find when you mentioned as kids, playing beside each other, in the same area interesting that someone realised this as they got older, looking back on their childhood. I see this in my work in preschool, children might not move from parallel play or associative play onto real co-operative play. Sometimes the friends they make, as they grow and develop move onto co-operative play as they get closer to five year olds, but the other child gets left behind because they arent able to cope with that type of play as well...
hi kati! thank you so much for breaking these “symptoms” down! i’m very curious if you have ASD as you use in-group terms like “we” when referring to folks who are on the spectrum. thanks for all you do!
I don't know how it is in this case, but I know she uses "we" language all of the time even when she's not part of the group. I've always wondered if she's ever answered why she does it.
I definitely hyper focus. My special interest is ice hockey, especially growing the game here in the UK. So I do lots of looking into ice hockey and the ways I feel growing the game could be achieved. But then all it comes down to is a hobby rather than something I do as a job. Sensory avoidance is also something I relate to. I prefer to have a conversation with people somewhere quiet. I don't find it easy going somewhere like a pub or an arena or something, because my focus is on the event in question, rather than talking to my friend.
I got diagnosed as Autistic and ADHD just a few years ago, in my mid 40s...ive always had sensory issues, especially sound - unwanted sounds, especially in my home environment, or a place I cant escape, causes me so much distress. I describe it as going 'full on Hulk', but its mostly internalised (and feels torturous)...but it has caused me to have confrontations with neighbours in the past, when my distress has burst through my masking.
Thanks for sharing. I have autism. I was wondering if you have what resources do you know about that will help people find work with autism and that have slow processing disorder….
I think it's sad when autistic people have to get referred out once diagnosed because therapists don't often specialize in autism. I loved the book The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones because it made me feel seen.
Autism runs in my family - my brother, some cousins and nephew to name a few. I went through the process of getting assessed on the NHS a few years ago (so in my early 40s). I did not come out with a diagnosis (ticked most boxes but 'passed' (for want of a better word) the bit about communication), but I still feel like not enough information was taken into account as I didn't have the benefit of input from my family and friends that knew me as a child, so it was all self-reported. Being female, I've become adept at doing what I need to fit in, while mentally exhausting myself. I don't know if I shot myself in the foot during the assessment by doing this. I'm really fed up as I still struggle, but I don't feel I have the right tools to help myself or explain to others why social interaction exhausts me soooo much. Maybe it's too late for me. At least one of my son's is on the waiting list for his assessment at the moment. Maybe he'll be lucky.
Replaying in my mind what I said in a social event and what other people told me, and how I responded back etc I do this all the time. Overthinking and depression were my things. For many years I though I am crazy or sth. Always felt weird, not fitting in. An HSP, asexual introvert with ADHD, anxiety, dissociative, avoidant and Borderline Personality Disorder along with high masking autism. All the tests that I did, indicate autism. I had no idea there can be autistic people that masking their condition and it turns out I am one of them. But it's somehow liberating ever since I found out!
all 5 are true for me, but #5 is the most insidious. i have been self-contained my whole life because i've had to be. i've only ever had to reach out for serious help this past summer because of a health issue i couldn't simply adjust to. for reference, i self-Dx'ed autism in my 40s and got the formal Dx at 60 because they want us all to return to office and i can't go back to open bullpen/cube farm after 4 years of blissfully teleworking.
I was diagnosed at around 39 after the 5th person suggested I may be Autistic (these were all folks that had either personal or professional experience with the Autistic community). I find I'm both sensory seeking and avoidant; the regular stuff of life can be incredibly overwhelming and I seek music and soft material often to sooth from that overwhelm. I'll wear really soft pants or jacket with soft lining and gently feel the material. I often will play a single song or album n repeat ad nauseum cuz it's calming my mind during overload - it's often interfered w/ my ability to get things done cuz I need to turn it off to engage in something else but I cant - or if i did my mind would be in chaos and I wouldnt be focusing on my task anyway.
I’m starting to suspect I’m on the spectrum 😂 I can relate to a lot of stuff people are saying about autism in women. I’m about to turn 59 🙄 I think I’m finally ready to explore the possibility.
Thank you Kati, we love you and we love your work and yes I have definitely been hyper-focused on all things automotive and mechanical my whole life when I was in high school I actually filled up my iPad which was supposed to be used for school work with over 3,000 pictures of cars and engines 😂
Several years ago, recall trying out some noise canceling headphones, and finding that they weren't all they were hyped up to be. The tech has probably gotten better, so I'll have to try the recommendation. Still kickin' it with earplug, especially when people eat toasted sandwiches at a cafe I frequent. With crunchy chips. Not related, but while I out today, I found myself sitting by this elderly guy talking with a family member of his on a video call, putting all his business out there. I was so self conscious having to hear what sounded like private matters that I had to move. Used to be that people wouldn't talk about stuff so openly, or rather there weren't cell phones so people didn't have to hear conversations.
1. Hyperfocus
2. Sensory avoidant
3. Sensory seeking
4. Subtle Social Challenges
5. Presenting as flexible/highly adaptable, while internally having difficulty with change.
These are not really hidden-they are very common symptoms of autism-
Not all heroes wear capes.
Thanks.
I had to unlearn my hyperfocus cause people made fun of me "hello, you sleeping?" 😑 when I was focusing on work I sometimes didn't hear what people around me were talking about or were talking to me
Thanks. This actually makes me want to watch the video more, since I'm interested in topic 5.
I was undiagnosed until earlier this year. I'm 47. People have told me I'm weird/ a loner/ unfriendly/ an introvert, too sensitive for my whole life. The autism community on youtube are awesome & there are some great content creators who have helped me feel less like a freak & more like a human being. 💚
39 and just found out this year through my own research and self-testing
50 and self diagnosed after 3 years of research and self observing of my behaviors and patterns. Plus, all or most of my college friends are neurodivergent although that word didn’t exist in the early 90’s.
@@taoist32 both my fiancée and I are self-diagnosed. I don’t usually like self-diagnosing but A) We both check off every single box symptom-wise and B) We see it CLEARLY in each other.
Her mom wouldn’t even listen when I tried to explain it to her. Just shut me down completely. She doesn’t believe in anything beyond Bipolar and even then acts like it’s the worst possible thing in the world - like it’s catching a VD.
So, if her family aren’t going to try to understand us yet still sit there calling us “over sensitive” and saying things like “Wow, you get your feelings hurt so easily!” well, they shouldn’t even have to wonder why it is they’re hearing less and less from us…even during the holiday season.
To us, they are toxic people and that’s exactly what we do NOT need: To feel EXTRA misunderstood and like we’re a couple of freaky weirdos.
Or, how they make us feel like we’re mentally challenged or something; like it makes us beneath them in every possible way - even like have lower IQs. I can tell you, we’re so much more self aware and, no offense, a heck of a lot more emotionally and mentally intelligent than the bunch of them combined. Sorry to sound harsh but you’ll have to take my word for it.
My mom will disagree on our self-diagnosis but in a grown up, gentle, civil way. That’s fine, because she’ll end up listening to why I believe my fiancée and I both are on the spectrum, reconsider what she previously thought and even reconsider it.
But that’s good ol’ mom for ya. My mom was always my saving grace and my Angel growing up while my dad, who may be on the spectrum himself, didn’t want to deal with his off the wall, “weirdo”, hyperactive son (me). He never had the patience for me and “Always wanted me to just be “normal””. Sorry dad.
Quite sad how I’m 49, my fiancée is 44 and we are STILL disrespected by certain family members of ours. Mostly her side.
Oh, and Katie, although I’m a 49 year old man, I deep-dive into EVERYTHING I become interested in or am already interested in. Just letting you know. I haven’t finished the video yet because I just had to reply to these wonderful people in this thread.
And I am a lonnnng time viewer too, Katie. You rock!
Thank you for so many years you have spent helping this total stranger over here.
You’re the best.
Sending you all my best wishes for a WONDERFUL 2025!
And all of YOU in this comment section as well. ❤
Much love to you all! ❤❤❤❤
40 same it was a relief let me close alot of loops especially from my childhood masked it with alcohol for a long time but ive let ot go :) still struggle but its not a bad thing or a malformation i recon its a evolutionary niche and powerful if u could harness it in a way i cant on the reg but it can be done.
I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s. I am now 42 and being diagnosed this late makes it very hard for me because adults with autism don't get the support they need. And people think we don't need help because we've survived this long without it but surviving and living are two different things.
Does it even matter, though? If you don't get the support you need, despite surviving, you're still pretty much where you were before you got diagnosed.
Not exactly at least in my case because there’s now an explanation for all this stuff that I just thought was awkward, crazy weird, etc. and they do have some resources for intervening and a much younger demographic is luckily enough to access that. Growing up in a 70s and 80s And female that was most definitely not an option. It’s also very frustrating when some of the people closest to me, have flipped some switch since learning about the diagnosis before I was often criticized for poor time management special interests, no eye contact social awkwardness, just being a bit of an odd duck. I did have hyperlexia. I taught myself to read very very early and I tested very well on reading comprehension, and the standardized Iowa tests they used to have, but once I was around 11 and it got to dividing with fractions and such not only lost interest, but my ranking in my class plummeted. Under achieving daydreaming, not paying attention all over my report cards, my potential, etc. I only just learned about pathological demand avoidance from a friend of many years who seven-year-old son has autism also as well as ADHD like myself and I’m so glad I have a friend who understands that or accepts that because some of the people I’ve known for years or I’m related to? They point out my wins and not my struggles. I have a drivers license and part time job. I run a business. Also I went to college I was married. But they remind me of these things with the sort of suck it up and walk it off attitude When honestly almost my entire life has been imposter syndrome masking and waves of self-doubt so severe that I often volunteer even now some kind of apology explanation, or justify my presence in a room or situation whatsoever. Seeing colleagues and friends, who are parents of autistic children receiving OT And one on one educator created learning plans would’ve been probably a very big game changer and self image if I had been able to receive the same support. Also people speak more openly about divergence than they did when I was a kid so that even though kids will be kids and sometimes they’re mean sometimes they’re just honest it’s not that same derisive lack of human empathy that I saw sometimes directed at me and much worse for a couple of my classmates who I have later learned as an adult are on the spectrum. Nowadays, it’s not an excuse, but at least it’s more of an explanation or a reason why that kid is a little different than the rest of the class and if it isn’t so otherized to the point of ostracizing. There is a bit more acceptance of it for lack of a better word being normalcy comparable to why on other classmate with spina bifida needs to use his wheelchair avoid my granddaughters class who has a prosthetic limb. I don’t know if that made sense in an explanation, but I hope so.❤
I would say that difficulty with transitions is huge. It can be transitions between tasks, or places, or people. That is extremely draining. That is why if you are on the spectrum you thrive with routines.
I have noticed this with both of my kids who are on the spectrum
This is glaringly obvious in the workplace. I hate it so much
Yes it feels like you’ve slowly adhered to something, only to be suddenly torn off like a plaster 🩹 and it never sticks back as well once it’s been ripped off, so jarring!
I've followed you for a bit when I was first diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. Now, after thorough testing the my psych provider pushed for, it was ruled out, and I was Autism, ADHD, Narcolepsy type 1, and possible focal seizures that affect autonomic functions. It all makes sense now and it took a decade for doctors to realize it. But the comorbidities of Autism is sleeping disorders and seizures. To function in life, I microed sleeped a ton, and my seizures are almost completely invisible. But because of my Autism, I struggled to put to words what was happening. My sleep specialist said my hallucinations were just my brain going into REM cycles while awake. I have 60 credits at a university from the age of 16-18 that I don't remember at all.
Getting off psych meds and on Narcolepsy meds, anti-seizure meds, has finally allowed me to go baxk to school ❤ definitely glad you spoke on this!
I always had this feeling of not belonging to a certain place at any social event. A feeling of discomfort, as if there was a problem with my appearance, my clothes, etc. Like a voice that said "you shouldn't be here." It's smaller today at 60, but I still have something like that.
I was recently diagnosed at age 52. I do see all of these signs from though out my life. I have a quiet mild personality and soft spoken. I also have dysthymia. So an autistic meltdown for me does not look like the stereotypical view.
I have watched your videos for quite a long time and I am glad you are making more on neurodiversity. With all of my studies in psychology (a hyperfixation), it never occurred to me that I had autism. Thank you for bringing this brain type to light.
Can you share what your meltdowns do like (if it's not too personal)? I'm still investigating the possibility of my own autism, and i'm finding a lot of things that seem like autism but aren't the stereotype and things that could be technically the stereotype but presenting in an unusual way.
@inspectre27 I would say my meltdowns are typically unseen. I am not sure I would call them meltdowns either. I will usually get into an argument with my wife and essentially retreat somewhere and isolate. But the point is that, for me, my autism is like ither autistics, but I am very high masking. So, I will even question autism even with a diagnosis. Because there are certain things that I do without realizing it that are clearly autistic. I shut myself off to the world after work. At least an hour. Eye contact is a learned behavior I try to use, but it is extremely uncomfortable and takes effort. I don't get all the social cues, physical or verbal. I only get humor when I am masking. I also only get my own sarcasm. My therapist mentioned the idea of shyness as if my social wars are rooted in that. But, I have such strong fears of talking to certain people that I will suffer before talking to a person.
Autism shows up a little differently in each person. So don't discount autism just because the signs and symptoms are not stereotypical.
10:22 I always maintain the illusion of being flexible simply by not giving my opinion on things like “where do you want to go eat“ or “what kind of game or movie do you want to watch?“ I just always defer to whatever anyone else wants and then shut off my mind and don’t think about anything so that I don’t get upset.I just find it easier not to make a choice at all and turn off my brain then to try to advocate for what I want. It’s way too much stress.
I'm so happy that an actual professional is talking about this!! Even if it's not Doctor Morton's speciality. I can't talk from a professional stand point as I am not one. I'm just a fellow autistic person. But this is what my own channel is all about. Unfortunately, over the last 5 years I've owned my channel I've tried to collab with actual professionals but so far they have all ignored my attempts to reach out. It's ok though. I get it, no one takes a non professional tiny channel seriously. haha. I'll keep trying and hope one day to collab with a medical pro.
I love the video. Always makes me happy when I see Autism being talked about. =)
My frustration is I cannot make people see me. If I tell them about my issues, they tell me I’m wrong. They tell me how easy it is to fix myself and that I am responsible for my own problems.
If you are high functioning, this is frustrating. You need a support group . It's kind of " if you know, you know ". Peer support of other people who have autism will help .
@ Thank you
My youngest son is on the spectrum and helping him learn to function within the normie world has shown a bright spotlight on my own (still mostly undiagnosed) ASD. I'm turning 68 in Feb. Knowing what I know now, I can see I am autistic... classically so. Thank you for what you are doing. You help a lot.
Uh i am so glad to see you make this video
Excellent points and suggestions! Best to you!
Merry Christmas to you and your Family. Thank you for your work.🎉🙃
The idea that we cant socialize is also a misconception; they found that an Autistic among Allistics will have difficulty socializing or will be perceived as awkward or weird; but among other Auristics, we often socialize just fine and an Allistic person among Autistics will be the one having difficulty socializing.
There was a study that actually showed that it is a bit like speaking a different language due to the way the two groups understand and process things differently. Hence the communication barrier between but not within.
Exactly. The research called it the Double Empathy Problem and actually has found autistic people on average tended to understand neurotypical people better than the other way around, probably because we spend so much time in cultural immersion essentially compared to NTs.
Thanks so much, Kati 😊
I was only just diagnosed last year at 62 yrs old. Us women have been unintentionally able to escape being diagnosed.
this kinda came at the perfect time. My new psychiatrist brought up Autism to me today after years of struggling with the wrong med combos. I've had 8 other mental health professionals tell me the same thing and in the past I always dismissed it but this time I actually listened and am thinking maybe it's time to look further into it
I just got diagnosed this year (honestly a couple of weeks ago). I'm 48 and my entire life I've felt like I don't fit in and have been "unacceptable". It's such a relief to have a reason for it now.
Congrats! I was diagnosed earlier this year (almost 40) and it’s been a year of lots of processing and learning, but it’s been good growth. I’d had therapists and psychiatrists before, but it always felt like they didn’t “get” me and there was something major missing from the help I was receiving. Now I finally have a psychologist that is treating me with neurodivergence-affirming therapy and it’s what’s always been missing. Therapy feels so much more helpful now.
@@PsychActually I started therapy almost three years ago and within a couple of months my therapist was "you know about that autism thing..." which was wonderful (though I initially balked because I worried that the things that had been issues my entire life were my fault).
What purpose does a diagnosis of autism serve?
@@GrimAshfordso what changes giving you an autism diagnosis?!
I'm pretty sure I was misdiagnosed with ASD when I was 13. It was based on having a focused interest in video games and some problems socializing. I don't remember getting an evaluation, and ever given the opportunity to answer questions or to give input on the diagnosis. The reality is I have ADHD, and video games is a particularly dopaminergic activity. Due to the inattention aspect, I'm pretty sure my early problems with socializing have to do with consistently missing social cues. But when I'm dialed in, I can receive them just fine and digest them instinctively. Now that I've gotten treatment for ADHD, I found I don't play as many games and I have a lot of varying interests that come and go. I also find that I can engage with people much easier.
Katie, thank you for doing research on this subject and for spreading awareness about it.
I think it’s important to mention that the Autism Spectrum Disorder criteria underwent a MAJOR overhaul in 2013 (barely more than a decade ago). These changes help to include a larger number of people who are living the autistic experience while simultaneously presenting in non-stereotypical ways.
Unfortunately, in 2024 most clinicians (counselors, doctors, psychiatrists, and even psychologists) are undereducated about the non-stereotypical presentations of autism. Unless you are lucky, or unless you do your research and find someone who specializes or otherwise has gone out of their way to educate themselves extensively on this area of neurodevelopmental disorders (like Katie here), you’re likely to be gaslit by professionals if you inquire about the possibility of being autistic.
Not to project my own experience onto everyone else, but I think my own experience has been representative of a fairly typical experience for “high-masking” autistic adults trying to find answers from professionals. I went to several counselors and psychiatrists and none of them identified my autism. I also have ADHD, and when I went to the ADHD specialist (a psychologist, PhD) that does psychometric testing (and I was told is the best in my area), I told her I thought I might be autistic. She asked me ONE question and then dismissed my answer by saying my symptoms could just be ADHD and she doesn’t think I’m autistic. I believed her, because she’s a professional. Then a year later, after learning a lot more from other autistic content creators, I was once again really resonating with the autistic experiences I kept hearing about. So I researched and found a psychology group that specializes in adult diagnosis of neurodivergent conditions, and I was indeed diagnosed with ASD almost a year ago. I am almost 40.
Since my diagnosis, if I mention to doctors and medical professionals that I am autistic, their face goes completely blank they say nothing in response to me, then they change the subject completely. I think this might mean that they either know nothing about how someone like me could be autistic, or they may think I am not autistic so they choose not to respond? None of them have asked me a single question about my autism (like “is there anything I can do to better accommodate your needs?” or “is there anything you’d like for me to know about your autism or how that might impact your experience here?” Etc etc)
Regardless, my diagnosis has been transformative. Therapy has always felt like something was missing, but now that I have a therapist that knows how to treat me in the context of my autism, ADHD, AND trauma, I feel like what I need from therapy is the help I’m FINALLY getting after a lifetime of looking.
There are several details in your story that resonate with my own. I’m 10 years older and didn’t find out until by accident during lockdown that I’ve been diagnosed twice with what they then called Asperger‘s my pediatrician said I had ADHD and it wasn’t until I was in grad school That it was truly validated by a couple of other doctors and educators. But I definitely can relate to that awkward pause when you tell a medical professional that you have autism and you get the blank stare. I’ve had a couple people ignorantly say that perhaps I shouldn’t drive anymore. Now that I know I’m autistic unfortunately, one of them is my cousin, but she’s kind of problematic to Any people in a marginalized group that doesn’t match her demographic sadly. I had to go testify as a witness for a court case involving my next-door neighbor last year, and the court was incredibly warm, and I hadn’t considered that I might be getting people looking at me before it was my turn to be called to the stand. I was wearing a kind of sleeveless blouse camisole under my suit jacket, and I put it back on when I gave my statement but afterwards when the judge was asking the members of the jury if they had any questions about the proceedings, there was a man who asked the judge, “isn’t it against the law for an autistic to get a tattoo?” so me I thought that was probably the only person on earth who would wonder such a thing but a couple of my sister’s neighbors ask the same thing. I actually haven’t had alcohol in many years in solidarity with my spouse when he became sober, but at that same barbecue with my sister and her neighbors I was holding a plastic diet, Gingerale with ice sipping that and one of the same anti-tattoo ladies mentioned to my sister, like I wasn’t there “ you ought to take that away from her. You know slow people aren’t supposed to drink alcohol.” my sweet Grand nephew said. “ my auntie is only slow when she doesn’t want to go somewhere people would be mean.”❤ he wasn’t wrong.😂
Wow! If I was the judge I would have swapped that juror for an alternate due to clearly questionable reasoning skills. And I love your grand nephew standing up for you like that. People can be so dumb 🤦🏻♀️ Sorry those things happened to you!
All so accurate and well stated. Can we learn more from you and your experience? Are you, by any chance, a content creator or simply a wise observer?
I was diagnosed at 39 years old. What really opened my eyes was a the book “Asperger’s on the job” by Rudy Simone. I tried to solve my problems from its symptoms (mainly depression). But never understood why it didn’t work. Reading about the struggles at work for high functioning autistic people in that book, was like reading my diary. I finally understood why I couldn’t fix my problems the “normal” way. I think work is pretty telling when it comes to autistic people.
Work is the most stressful 😭 I'd love to work alone
I am sensitive to sound and there are a lot of noises that stress me out; people with grating voices, dogs barking, kids crying, people who scuff their feet when they walk, and even songs or commercials I loathe on the radio (I turn the volume to zero when they come on) but if I hear music I like, I will want to listen to it over and over and over again. I have a very inner physical response to it and it can sometimes make me quite emotional. As far as touch goes, I hate certain types: my own strands of hair in my face or tickling my skin if one gets loose and gets into my clothes, strangers touching me - especially in a light way (like a really wan handshake), and how clothing can feel and the way it fits. On the other side of all that, I have this weird thing where I save my t-shirts that have been washed so much they become almost see-through. The fabric is so soft that it calms me to sit and run the fabric through my fingers while I watch tv. I also love splashing freezing cold water on my face in the morning to really wake myself up. I'm 50 and not yet diagnosed but I'm pretty sure it's the case with me. I've got some pretty weird quirks and have never really felt like I fit in.
I hate cold on my face! I can't use those sheet face mask they're so cold and wet. 😅
I love how you speak in the first person about symptoms. You are very kind.
Also, Kati I’m sorry I misspelled your name in that earlier comment. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve been watching your channel for a long time and I really appreciate your content.
Honestly, for a long time I was concerned I might have BPD because I related to some of those symptoms (like emotional dysregulation, difficulties with relationships, etc). But now I understand that I related to those symptoms because they can appear similar to ASD symptoms, yet the “reason” behind the symptom is totally different. I have now learned that BPD is the #1 misdiagnosis that undiagnosed autistic women receive.
For example, autistic people struggle with emotional dysregulation like people with BPD, but this is due to their very sensitive nervous system being easily overwhelmed. Autistic meltdowns can often look like a temper tantrum or an angry outburst like someone with BPD might display, but meltdowns are involuntary nervous system overwhelm and not meant to manipulate a situation to get what the autistic person wants.
Also, people with ADHD and ASD commonly experience rejection sensitive dysphoria, compounded by the trauma of many social rejections in their lifetime. This can be confused with the fear of abandonment that people with BPD experience. Aka, abandonment is a type of rejection and they feel very similar. Both can be huge triggers for people with ASD and BPD, but for different reasons.
The history of social difficulties and failed relationships that people with ASD often have looks similar to those with BPD (on cursory look). But digging deeper, the CAUSE of the problem for ASD vs. BPD is completely different.
Ok those are just a few of the symptoms that can look similar on first glance (without taking a closer look under the hood!) but just wanted to share those as a start. Thank you for reading!
Hi Katie. Love that you are covering this topic. 58yo female who has given up hope on getting a formal dx of autism at this point but I know my brain so... A few things to add: #1 I believe this kind of hyper-focused thinking is referred to as monotropism. #4A. Autistic traits not being "noticeable" can often be due the autistic person's sense of self-preservation causing them to actively mask/hide traits from others and/or themselves to fit in - ultimately resulting in health issues and autistic burnout. #4B. Autistic folks gravitating to each other or other neurodivergent folks is often the most natural fit. I can't cite the study but recall that groups of neurotypicals and groups of autistic folks were observed communicating just fine amongst themselves and only ran into significant issues when they two groups were combined - i.e., different types of brains have different styles of communication that makes sense to them. This would include your example of the girl liking trains and the girl coloring together - a form of socialization known as 'parallel play'...when two people are together physically enjoying another's company while participating in completely different activities. Keep up the great work!
I am SO glad you made this video. There is this HUGGGGGGGGGE wave taking over and saturating social media left and right with people who aren't getting properly diagnosed on all SORTS of things and pushing some type of weird trend/agenda for whatever reasons. Sharing this on everythingggggggg! ❤
Wonderful video Kati!
I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism a few months ago. #5 is totally me. It’s really hard on me when plans change or when someone invites me to do something last minute. I need things planned out. I’ve never ever been one who liked spontaneous trips or anything like that.
In the past, I’ve had so many friends and family members try to pressure me into doing things that I don’t want to do that I finally just started agreeing to things but ghosted them.
Were they mad at me? Yes. Did they learn their lesson? Also yes. I really struggled with standing my ground with people so that they would accept it when I said “no, I don’t want to do that.”
I’m currently trying to make new friends and I met a woman in a Facebook group her presented herself as being philanthropic. She reached out to me one day and asked me if I wanted to go to a Halloween party with her that night. I politely declined and informed her that I want feeling well. She tried to push me by saying “You should come out anyway. It’s a good excuse to meet new people.” I blocked her.
I just don’t put up with that bs anymore.
I still look flexible and calm to a lot of people and I still try to go with the flow in certain social situations. But yeah….
I identify with everything on this list, but #5 is the strongest. This was actually a big issue between me and my ex.
I can really relate to your comment. I didn't even realise this is how I was until recently. I'm now more upfront with people, but it always amazes me how some people can just go with the flow and accept changed plans without a care!
I have never seen anything about appearing flexible in relation to autism, so I appreciate this being included. I was diagnosed at 42 and really questioned this about myself. I cried quietly when plans would change as a teenager. Later, I asked people how crazy they thought I was, and they were truly unaware. Other times, I blame allergies.
I have Septo Optic Dysplasia. This rare brain condition caused me to be born completely blind, and it also caused me to be on the autism spectrum. I have a hyper focus on music, the therapeutic benefits of music, my favorite musicians, sensory items, and other things. I mask emotions and crying and sensory overloads to fit in. I’m a sensory seeker. I love the feel of certain textures, I love certain sounds, I love to swing, rock and I love deep pressure.
I was diagnosed as Autistic when I was 30 years old. I’m 40 now. It hasn’t been easy for me.
I’ve had my share of struggles as an Autistic adult female. I did have trouble making eye contact. I still do, but because I work at a grocery stores as a cashier, I’ve kinda taught myself how to make some eye contact with the customers. I also struggle with holding conversations, but I do my best to try to talk to people.
When it comes to sensory overload, I be on the register for more than 5 to 6 hours when it’s busy. When I work a seven hour shift, I usually try to take a mental break from cashing after I take my first 15 minute break. I get overwhelmed when I’m on the register for seven hours dealing with crabby customers, and not having a bagger to help me out.
I also have trouble adapting to change at first. It’s a huge struggle for me.
I like Paul's videos on Autism from the Inside. He shares his personal experiences as well as thoughts within the community and shares workshops and resources for both autistic individuals and those working with them
Wow, this really changed my perspective of myself. I am 35, and last year I got diagnosed with BPD. I do think I have autistic traits, aspecially hyper focusing and sensory overload. Eating sounds, crowds, touch. Sometimes it hurts even to be touched, but it's more when I am upset.
You should look up videos explaining the differences between BPD and autism. I’m not saying you don’t have BPD (someone could have BPD and autism), but BPD is a common misdiagnosis for people who are autistic. The symptoms look strikingly similar at first glance to clinicians, but the REASONS behind the symptoms are different.
(Ex. An autistic meltdown can often just look like losing your shit and yelling at someone)
BPD is the #1 misdiagnosis of undiagnosed autistic adult women. That is mainly because a lot of clinicians associate BPD with women, so if they see a woman with emotional dysregulation, social issues and a few other things they immediately jump to BPD on their mind.
But of course if women are misdiagnosed with BPD then men are, too. That particular cluster of symptoms is just less commonly complained about by men (or experienced by men?) so they receive the diagnosis less frequently.
Thank you for making this video! 💜
I have an autism diagnosis myself and I think that for the sensory avoidant and sensory seeking it can also be a mix, not only in avoindant at some point in time and seeking at another point in time, but also avoidant towards some of the senses and seeking for other senses.
In my own experience I tend to be mostly avoidant for sounds and light, but I can be seeking for touch.
For example I've noticed that it is very hard for me to not want to feel something if it looks very soft (in stores or anywhere) and, from people I trust and like, I also love to get a hug. (I know: most people think atistic people don't like hugs, well: some of us don't, some of us do)
I will also have times I can't stand to get a hug, but I honestly don't think that is because of my autism (more related to negative things in my head).
I don't know if this is helpful for anyone, but there you go, part of my experience as an autistic human being...
Omg yes! I feel like my whole life is pretending to be ok with things, cause I’m at least mildly uncomfortable all the time when I’m around people/in public/around noise or bright light.
I’ve had to push those feelings down so much so, that it’s hard to check in with myself and focus on my own wants and needs. I’m always too busy fawning to and preempting what others want, trying to be ‘normal’.
Even over xmas my family are very loud & talking over each other, it got too much yesterday & I had to nap, when I’d only just got up 😅. Merry Christmas everyone 🎄
I’ve been watching Kati since the beginning of her channel when she was focused more on DBT and I just have to say she has come so far. She mastered creating legit, educational, easy to digest content. Her videos have helped me so much.
2:43 Amen to Loop earplugs! I carry them everywhere. I am 57, late diagnosed, and autistic and ADHD (AuDHD), and sensory overload is a big problem for me. I wish they made something for loud smells 👃. Btw, love the pj’s!
Hey Kati,
I love that you mentioned sensory seeking! Like you said, people usually talk only about the opposite, not really seeing that people can have both things on different days. I am autistic and when I am not overstimulated, I often find myself looking for stimulation, sometimes I even look for something like rough textures or even things that actually hurt, just because I feel like I need something highly stimulating. So thanks for talking about this! I like this video. :)
I hope you have a nice christmas time!
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young kid (around 11) but I’ve been off meds all of my adult life (I’m 40 now) I have a few of the symptoms that you mentioned. Especially the last one. I live in my head obsessing about my perception of things even though I know how much it doesn’t help. I prefer to try and overcome things on my own my learning and understanding my diagnosis vs going right on meds. I’ll def watch this video again and see what other helpful things I can extract. Thanks for all your videos Kati
Like your video "8 Surprising signs of ADHD", this video kinda spoke to me. Not too long ago, I was taking a look at my life and it looks like I showed some signs of (undiagnosed) AuDHD. Same with bipolar disorder.
I have always had trouble making eye contact. People find it rude...I had no idea until I was in my 40's.
People are weird, how is that rude? It makes total sense that looking someone in the eye is very uncomfortable and you can't even focus on what they're saying. It's intimidating or flirty. A normal polite friendly conversation shouldn't require looking in the eyes 😂
Your videos are the reason I want to get an assessment done for myself
I’m 33 and was just diagnosed this week! 🎉
I was diagnosed in my mid 20s because it was "easier" than looking at me as a whole and the diagnosis never sat right with me. A decade later and I'm in treatment for CPTSD after being misdiagnosed as having anxiety. Overall my "mainstream" signs of autism have disappeared and my therapist was encouraging me to get reassessed. Yet the possibility of not having autism also didn't feel right. For me the signs most people associate with autism only come out when the rest of the house is on fire. I seem "fine" yet I do the things in this video when I'm not struggling with everything else. Yet if my trauma conditions flare up if I go into an existential tail spin because of my past, suddenly I present more "traditionally" autistic. It's almost as if one thing can turn up the noise of everything else and really shows why mental health professionals of all kinds should talk to eachother. For some reason that doesn't happen where I live. We would have so much more understanding in the world if we did
as an autistic person, please do not use the colourful puzzle pieces as a symbol. it is the icon of a charity that is really not good and does not have autistic people in mind, ‘autism speaks’. a better symbol is a rainbow infinity sign
What is bad about them?
Yes, came here to say this. Also, if I remember correctly the rainbow infinity is for neurodivergence in general (still perfectly fine to use for autism), and a red and/or gold infinity is specifically for autism. (Red for the autistic-led "red instead" countermovement to anti-autism eugenics group Autism Speak's "light it up blue" thing or Gold for Au, the symbol for gold on the periodic table since autism starts with those letters). Please correct me if I'm wrong though.
@@megankidd4671 They believe things about autism that are not supported by science. They also tend to talk about autism like it is an illness that needs to be "cured".
I also dislike the use of puzzle pieces as a symbol for autism because it is just so clichéd and infantilising - giving the incorrect impression that autism mainly or only affects children
I just turned 38 about 2 weeks ago, and just started looking into exactly what autism is this last summer. So 2 months ago I asked my therapist and in my next session I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum.
Our next sessions we are going to start diving in more into the spectrum to understand why my life has been the way it's been.
@Kati Morton (First off, thank you yet again)... If it still works this way on putting time-stamps and a brief title, anywhere in the description field, should produce _"Chapters"_ for quick and easy reference, and returns to specific parts.
i.e.
0:44 #1
2:02 #2
4:04 #3
6:14 #4
9:25 #5
Verify the times I posted are suitable to you, for this video, then copy, just the five item list directly above, and paste into the description, at the very bottom/end - you should now have _"Chapters"_ (scrub-bar segments, that can be clicked to view each item... 😅 🙇 ☮ (I find this particularly helpful with _"X number of things, to consider for..."_ )
I’m hyper focused on being normal, being myself, being confident, being less invisible and being less autistic. Creating relationships is the most challenging thing ever and it really drains all my energy and focus, so much that it hurts sometimes. I can’t quite relax. It’s a cycle of bad feeling and good feelings constantly swirling.
Kati, thank you!
I only received my dx(along with adhd) this past Jan when I was 62. I'm still learning what this all means to my life. You hit so much on point-thanks💜
There are also some people who are not on the spectrum, but have identical symptoms caused by different comorbidities. I am officially diagnosed with multiple disorders (mainly adhd and depression) that more or less make my symptoms almost identical to autism, but I technically do not have autism. This is why it is so important to not self-diagnose and seek out professionals.
Self-diagnosis is sometimes the only option available to individuals. Making a blanket statement about self diagnosis being bad in all circumstances further stigmatizes an already stigmatized group of people.
I don't think they were trying to make a blanket statement and/or that self diagnosis is innately badand/or to stigmatized anything. I think they were merely making note that professional help can provide additional insight, guidance, and tools. Just as it is important to know and talk about these things, it is also important to get it correct and thus to be open and aware of other possibilities and options. For instance, if meds are involved or needed, getting those and getting the right ones is important.
Likewise, yes, not everyone has the resources to get professional help. If it is available though, by all means, try to get it rather than struggle by oneself.
@@LuckyGirlsTown You can't self diagnose. Only professionals can do that. You can think you have it and say "I might have ______" but you don't have the full professional knowledge to diagnose.
There are also some people on the spectrum,
who have been diagnosed with different disorders, because they themselves didn’t understand autism as well as their degree would have you think.
That for example some disorders share similarities with ASD.
That ASD itself suggest by its name ,that it is a spectrum.
A spectrum which may or may not include several or all of the subcategories found on the spectrum.
Things like:
OCD, ADHD, PDA among others.
That therefore it is difficult in adults especially, to correctly identify ASD in someone, who may heavily mask and experience their symptoms so to speak , as anxiety and depression.
Therefore ending up with a diagnosis of anxiety and depression, not ASD.
When perhaps the underlying reason for the depression and anxiety is Autism.
I think another commonality among folks with autism is their experience of always having felt “ other”, different from others somehow, like they were adopted, or part alien , since childhood.
Perpetually misunderstood, struggling socially often in one way or another.
….outgoing maybe even but still struggle and get completely overwhelmed at some point.
You try to fit in , try to have normal lives and do those things but somehow it doesn’t work that way for you.
You constantly process so much information and often wondered , do other people even think much?
I think about everything from every angle and consider so many aspects before I formulate a response.
Or I go blank and almost black out if I feel completely out of place.
I freeze.
Fight / flight/ freeze responses are reached far more quickly in a person with ASD.
When everything is filtered through your emotional intelligence process , and that’s your primary form of navigating and assessing your safety in your world, your reality,
when that is NOT how most people experience their reality, then the result is exactly the mis congruence with others.
And no matter how hard you try to communicate YOU,
someone that isn’t having this experience is unable to relate, to perceive what you perceive.
And that’s the problem.
We freeze ,
We fight
We run / flight
In a way folks with ASD feel that it’s the world that has a problem, not they themselves.
And I would agree .
Everyone would benefit from a kinder , gentler and more intelligent, thoughtful, considerate , informed world
Thank you ❤
You can’t diagnose yourself as a non-professional but you can self-diagnose. That’s the meaning of self-diagnose. It’s not an official diagnosis. But it’s recognized and accepted in the autism community because, at this moment in time, there are difficulties that inhibit most people who are high-masking adults to seek out or be properly evaluated by a clinician knowledgeable on this subject.
It’s hard to explain, but autism isn’t just a collection of symptoms. Our brains simply work differently (I am officially diagnosed by a professional). This results in what we can describe as a collection of symptoms, but our brains are so different. When we do extensive research and listen to a lot of other autistic content creators and talk to other autistic people, we start to know in our bones that we are autistic because these people all share *something* very different than most people and we know we share that same difference. It’s a fundamental difference in how our brains think. The specific traits and personalities are unique to each autistic person, but there’s SOMETHING different that is in how autistic people think and interface with the world, and we resonate with that in other autistic people.
I am far enough on this journey that I can often tell of someone else is autistic (whether they know it or not) after a very brief time around them. Of course I wouldn’t diagnose them, but I still know!
And no, I’m not saying it’s a feeling. It’s something concrete it’s just not something that I have the words to explain in a concrete way.
Omg #5 was so validating! Thank you. This has been me for decades but I couldn’t word it as well as you did
3:37 why ARE they on the inside though!? I’ve been asking that since I was 4 years old. Why would I want a scratchy thing on the back of my neck.
cause how weird it would look on the outside... and they have to put the information about what fabric and how to wash and iron. I always remove every tag but I also wouldn't want that on the outside lol.
I have not been diagnosed but trying to totally people to avoid the awkward interactions is a point as well.
Hi Katie,
I stumbled upon your videos a day or so before Christmas and been watching a few.
They are extremely down to earth and helpful.
Thank you for the tip about Loop Earplugs... ordered and anxiously awaiting.
At 68 I think I have learned from your videos that I was emotionally neglected as a child... even the dog got more touching than I did. As well there was some physical abuse in terms of a rubber strap kept handy in the kitchen... I was definitely not a horrid little brat! Apparently touching me with the strap was fine but hugs, pat on the back, etc was taboo. I will never understand that.
Thank you for all you do here! 😊
Paul
I'm 22, only just found out at 21 that I'm autistic. I didn't make friends easily in elementary school, and in middle school I got one comment from another kid about my face looking weird that sent me on my masking journey, not that I knew that's what it was at the time of course. I started constantly monitoring my face, my body language, my tone, what I said, all of it. I started psychoanalyzing everything everyone around me and on TV did, and picked up certain phrases and mannerisms. It took a lot of trial and error, paying close attention to how people reacted to my edits in social situations, but by high school I think I had a lot of it figured out. I finally started to make more friends, as this overly bubbly personality that definitely wasn't me. I always felt sad, thinking it felt like nobody knew the "real me," because I didn't feel like I could be myself, as every time I did, I got a weird look, or a mean comment, or I would have less friends.
Finding out I'm autistic was a huge eye opener for me. Suddenly years of feeling like I couldn't be myself and like I was putting on a performance made so much sense. And the fact that I had a couple specific special interests that I tried not to talk about because when I did, I would annoy people as I wouldn't be able to stop yapping about it for a really long time. And why I feel absolutely exhausted after social situations, why bright lights bother me to the point I need to close my eyes to shut out the stimulation, and why I rock back and forth all the time to manage the stress of it all.
Unmasking is hard to do when it becomes so ingrained in your personality over the years. It's crazy how we can learn to act normal, but people have no idea how hard we're working to be liked and accepted on the inside. People don't understand that autism can be hidden, and it is also a huge spectrum that can present differently in different people.
My family always told me that when I find something in interested in, I go all in on it. I never thought that was anything special, it's just doing hobbies that I enjoy. I'm not diagnosed yet but going to get tested soon. I have many friends on the spectrum, I just get along very well with them.
i am unable to get support or help or even an official diagnosis.. doctors know nothing about it.. and I'm in my fifties... i get comments like 'well you've made it this far without a diagnosis'
It’s sensory differences it’s not automatically sensory avoidant. Some autistic people are sensory seeking for some things, even those without adhd as well
Thank you so much for your video on Autism- much appreciated ❤
Just wanna say I am new here to your channel. I look forward to watching your upcoming videos. I am on a healing journey and have been for years. I half to keep learning and to continue to grow in my journey. In a way I feel we are all in the same boat. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
The autism channel that oddly just showed up in my feed as I was watching a video made me see that I may be autistic. She is autistic and has 2 kids who are also, but she mostly helps by sharing what she's learning. Her channel is Mom on the Spectrum
Also? There's an incredible Dr named Tony Attwood. He has so much info between his YT interviews and his website that it's an excellent rabbit hole😊
Thanks again, Kati
#2 is why I dislike family events a lot. A lot of people in a confined space with a lot of ambient, uncontrollable noise. It's especially bad when the house I'm at doesn't have proper sound dampening stuff like couches, rugs, etc in a room and makes it super echoey. Like I love my family, but I also don't like how overstimulating these events are
Hello Kati! Could you make a video about the differences between autism and social anxiety? Some characteristics overlap and I'm a bit confused.
Katie, thank you so much for this video & thanks to every person on the spectrum who commented! I relate to so many of the comments & am grateful for the vibrant autistic community on TH-cam!. 💯🙏😊
I was diagnosed with AuDHD when I was 41. My whole life, my AuDHD traits were misdiagnosed as BPD, OCD, general anxiety disorder, and trauma-related. People say my dad is "weird" and has anger management issues - he is not weird, he has intense special interests and fails to understand most social interactions. He doesn't have anger management issues, those are autistic meltdowns. I used to wonder why there are so many alcoholics in my family. Now I understand they are also undiagnosed adhd/ autistic/ audhd.
...maybe it's the world that has gone crazy and not us. No one can tell me that the level of noise or the amount of people in any big city or the sheer amount of visual impulses we are bombarded with all the time is normal or I should be able to put up with that. I might be neurotic, I might be socially awkward but I'm definitely not _autistic_
Have all 5. Was diagnosed ASD at age 52. Built a very successful career and had a family. Hyperfocus + high intelligence = superb masking. Especially in a society that highly values boys and men that can provide and stoically cope with their own problems. Unfortunately undiagnosed (and unsupported) ASD, when growing up, is a recipe for social trauma. All of the people I know with late diagnosed ASD have socially traumatic childhood/school histories.
Any time I leave the house, I make sure I have my noise reducing earmuffs with me. It isn't too uncommon for me to go mute if I find myself in an environment that is to loud.
Thanks Kati, this is brilliant. I'm 58 now and 10 years ago I started trying to figure out some issues I'd had since I was a child. After years of doing my own research I'm convinced it's a mild version of autism. I think autism was only diagnosed back in the 70s if it was very pronounced. My parents and my school always treated me like I was smart, so I felt okay about choices I made like minimizing social interactions, hyper-focusing on a limited set of interests, etc. It worked out okay for most of my life, but I kind of wish I'd have worked a little harder to minimize some of the effects you mentioned in the video. Sometimes I think if I'd had those traits to a slightly greater degree I might have gotten a diagnosis and ended up with better results in the long run.
The presenting as flexible just blew me away. I’ve spent so long uncomfortable that I don’t know how I feel anymore.
so i been on the autism spectrum sense i was 6 years old. often i hide my self from the world because i have limited time to complete things. i still live with my parents when everyone else in my family lives on there own. i feel like i have a pledge to stay alive for my friends. i also have hyper focus on things. lately its been a 3 to 11.50 job. i have a few book shelfs of interests i had for a day. i built a history as far back to the dawn of man. as i build my library i build a understanding that is deeper then what i would get in a public library right off the bat. often i catch mistakes that are so small a good person knows. im often called immature by my managers but they don't understand my life. i am going to be a great metal worker one day. and my brain still have dreams to become more adapt at tooling and lathing cutting metal to shape and moveing it down the line. was next, but i got down the line in some new waters. in metal that i had no clue about i make parts for the plumping industry. its only fair to learn about the basic so i can better equip my brain in the function of this metal. I'm a metal crafter of sort. were the metal hits the oil that's were my friendships are created. i could work in factory's build parts all day with other friendly individuals i could move parts to production lines thats how strong i was i could move 45 pounds consistently and greater. the heaviest thing i moved was a bag full of crafting pellets there must have been 45 pounds each x 50 bags or something 200 feet. anyone could do it not everyone would want too. then i placed it on something so a forklift could lift it. then i placed it in a way a electric fork scooter could pick it up. i was trained to do the scooter part but no one wanted to give me the job. i could do it. but then i would be missing my trip out with parts. i might do 8 trips in a night. or close to 15 trips. all depends on the calls of the team leads. i could make 50 calls in a night and call down parts like a organized butler. not everyone can handle the old way of doing things. i regimented stepped my way around 3 areas last Thursday. its a new plant lay out and i have mastered the error fixing in the plant. i saw that half the things were set up in a way unfair for the one in the area. i fixed and got what the team lead wanted. its really about perspective if you think about it.
I was diagnosed with Autism in December 2022. My family haven't got a clue what Autism is, and don't seem to want to understand it. If things get overwhelming for me when I'm out with my mum, instead of supporting me, she has a go at me about it.
A big misunderstanding is that sensory issues are not always the extremes like lights being bright, noises being too loud, smells being too strong, tastes being strong, weather being hot/cold, textures. You can also be hyposensitive to things. For me its sounds that I can just barely hear that bother me to the point I sleep with noise canceling headphones. Each person can have different sensory issues which is rarely explained
Can definitely relate to this. I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago now and im in my 30s.
What I find funny is that before i was even diagnosed, i had a neurodivergent friend ask me if i was autistic. I denied it at the time, but this friend wasnt surprised when i told her after my diagnosis that i was autistic.
Thank you Kati for all of the advice and insights you have given me for the past 6 years, Wishing You All The Best!
This episode is so interesting to me. I recently realized that my husband of 43 years, who is in his early 70s, is on the spectrum. I found myself laughing all the way through the episode as so much of it is him!
I went to Kaiser Permanente in Northern California to seek an adult autism spectrum diagnosis and they asked me what my ultimate goal in getting tested was and what I wanted from them. Confused, I answered that maybe they could help provide support and advocacy for me, but they were bothered that I couldn't already articulate what support I needed, pre-diagnosis.
The branch I visited for testing allotted 4 hours only on Monday mornings to personality disorder and neurodivergence testing. They didn't deal with ASD or other such testing for the rest of the business week. The wait list for testing appointments was 6 months long. It took an additional 3 months for their post doc students to write the report on the results, despite telling me when I completed my testing that the diagnosis and report would be ready in two weeks. Two weeks later I called to inquire and they again told me 2 more weeks. Rinse and repeat until 3 months had passed. In the report they suggested that I read a specific book, which when I looked it up, had not been published yet. So I would not recommend them
Great video, thanks Kati!
Troughout my whole existence I couldn't realize that being rude with people over the internet could have led me into this situation where I find myself right now, I have been smeared in the dirt, and I am living under brain torture. I have learned my lesson of always take into consideration what people who doesn't know me might perceive me from the other side of the screen and to not write anything that might sound remotely threathening or aggressive in any contest or under any circumstances. I only ask for this brain torture I live with to stop please, I can't keep living like this, I want to be happy again, please.
Kati, I have watched your videos for years and love the way you deal with topics and the way you explain things in such a lovely way. I know you don't specialise in autism, but would you consider doing a video on how to raise children with autism? I'm a step mother to a teen with autism. They are highly functioning so it has been hard to know when certain things she does that I find rude is due to her autism or are self-centred teenager behaviours that should require discipline. Thanks so much.
Hyperfocus and special interests are two very separate things.
Hyperfocus is when you are very into something and spend hours and hours on it, often forgetting to do things like drink or eat or go to the toilet. By definition it is something one is focusing intensly on for a period of time, this can be both in terms of "working" on something like a project for long intense periods (or playing a video game or reading a book, etc.), and to have an intensified interest in a topic for an extended period of time (anywhere between hours to years). This can also apply to things like picking up a new hobby, becoming really invested in one project, then never doing the hobby again. They can be enjoyed fully and with a passion and then stopped entirely without being missed.
Special interests are completely different. While one can indeed hyperfocus on a special interest (immersing in it for hours for hours and forgetting everything else), they are such a fundamental part of the autistic person. They help regulate our nervous system, provide comfort, shape a lot of aspects of our lives and personalities, and tend to last for much longer periods of time, often being life long even with dips and peaks in how much time we spend with them. When they are missing from our lives from a long period we do not feel ok, it's like a piece of our being is missing. If they are taken away from us (e.g. we might feel the need to step away from them because it is revealed the people involved are horrible and ruining people's lives), it can feel like a part of us died, we feel deep grief and can struggle to function until we can find something else that we can feel as deeply bonded with.
I find it hard to describe the difference, but there are a lot of people out there who have done a better job than me. To add an outside detail people tell me that when I talk about my special interests, it's like there are stars in my eyes and I am sparkling, when talking about a hyperfocus I am more "intense" 😂
Lovin' the new do👍
[1] 0:44 - _"Hyper Focus - Having [solely, dedicated/Monolithic] Special Interests"_
[2] 2:02 - _"Sensory Avoidant"_ (smells, sounds, lights, touch - overstimulating/overwhelming)
[3] 4:04 - _"Sensory Seeking"_ [Stimulation] (bored or agitated without sufficient, specific stimuli) *{Note: a balance, and possible specificity between sensory types of _Avoidant, and Seeking,_ and that the former is often not in our control, where the latter, typically is, necessarily in our control).
[4] 6:14 - _"Subtle Social Challenges - Social Challenges that are not obvious"_ {AvPD-like?} Doesn't _'look'_ typical Autism
[5] 9:25 - _"Presenting as Flexible While having difficulty with change"_ Masking, Overthinking,
The most frustrating one for me is when I am trying to tell someone something and people don't react the way I thought they would or I learn that I completely miss body language that goes with their response.
On the spot. I hyperfocus and it's draining!! Also agree on the stimuli seeking and needing to be flexible, but struggle with it. I was diagnosed in 2019 at 29 years
Also unsure if i'm Borderline, don't have the diagnosis
i find when you mentioned as kids, playing beside each other, in the same area interesting that someone realised this as they got older, looking back on their childhood. I see this in my work in preschool, children might not move from parallel play or associative play onto real co-operative play. Sometimes the friends they make, as they grow and develop move onto co-operative play as they get closer to five year olds, but the other child gets left behind because they arent able to cope with that type of play as well...
hi kati!
thank you so much for breaking these “symptoms” down! i’m very curious if you have ASD as you use in-group terms like “we” when referring to folks who are on the spectrum.
thanks for all you do!
I don't know how it is in this case, but I know she uses "we" language all of the time even when she's not part of the group. I've always wondered if she's ever answered why she does it.
I definitely hyper focus. My special interest is ice hockey, especially growing the game here in the UK. So I do lots of looking into ice hockey and the ways I feel growing the game could be achieved. But then all it comes down to is a hobby rather than something I do as a job.
Sensory avoidance is also something I relate to. I prefer to have a conversation with people somewhere quiet. I don't find it easy going somewhere like a pub or an arena or something, because my focus is on the event in question, rather than talking to my friend.
I got diagnosed as Autistic and ADHD just a few years ago, in my mid 40s...ive always had sensory issues, especially sound - unwanted sounds, especially in my home environment, or a place I cant escape, causes me so much distress. I describe it as going 'full on Hulk', but its mostly internalised (and feels torturous)...but it has caused me to have confrontations with neighbours in the past, when my distress has burst through my masking.
Thanks for sharing. I have autism. I was wondering if you have what resources do you know about that will help people find work with autism and that have slow processing disorder….
I think it's sad when autistic people have to get referred out once diagnosed because therapists don't often specialize in autism. I loved the book The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones because it made me feel seen.
This will be fun. These types of topics usually turn into a checklist of yeah that sounds like my life
I fit all of those signs. I'm also an old man and I have learned through extremely painful experience that there is no help for me.
Autism runs in my family - my brother, some cousins and nephew to name a few. I went through the process of getting assessed on the NHS a few years ago (so in my early 40s). I did not come out with a diagnosis (ticked most boxes but 'passed' (for want of a better word) the bit about communication), but I still feel like not enough information was taken into account as I didn't have the benefit of input from my family and friends that knew me as a child, so it was all self-reported. Being female, I've become adept at doing what I need to fit in, while mentally exhausting myself. I don't know if I shot myself in the foot during the assessment by doing this. I'm really fed up as I still struggle, but I don't feel I have the right tools to help myself or explain to others why social interaction exhausts me soooo much. Maybe it's too late for me. At least one of my son's is on the waiting list for his assessment at the moment. Maybe he'll be lucky.
Replaying in my mind what I said in a social event and what other people told me, and how I responded back etc I do this all the time. Overthinking and depression were my things. For many years I though I am crazy or sth. Always felt weird, not fitting in. An HSP, asexual introvert with ADHD, anxiety, dissociative, avoidant and Borderline Personality Disorder along with high masking autism. All the tests that I did, indicate autism. I had no idea there can be autistic people that masking their condition and it turns out I am one of them. But it's somehow liberating ever since I found out!
I have feigned illness to go home when plans change in a way that is just too upsetting.
You are not faking . There are many ways to feel unwell . It's OK to practice self care .
There is a channel called "I'm autistic now what" that's really helpful.
all 5 are true for me, but #5 is the most insidious. i have been self-contained my whole life because i've had to be. i've only ever had to reach out for serious help this past summer because of a health issue i couldn't simply adjust to. for reference, i self-Dx'ed autism in my 40s and got the formal Dx at 60 because they want us all to return to office and i can't go back to open bullpen/cube farm after 4 years of blissfully teleworking.
I was diagnosed at around 39 after the 5th person suggested I may be Autistic (these were all folks that had either personal or professional experience with the Autistic community). I find I'm both sensory seeking and avoidant; the regular stuff of life can be incredibly overwhelming and I seek music and soft material often to sooth from that overwhelm. I'll wear really soft pants or jacket with soft lining and gently feel the material. I often will play a single song or album n repeat ad nauseum cuz it's calming my mind during overload - it's often interfered w/ my ability to get things done cuz I need to turn it off to engage in something else but I cant - or if i did my mind would be in chaos and I wouldnt be focusing on my task anyway.
I’m starting to suspect I’m on the spectrum 😂 I can relate to a lot of stuff people are saying about autism in women. I’m about to turn 59 🙄
I think I’m finally ready to explore the possibility.
Thank you Kati, we love you and we love your work and yes I have definitely been hyper-focused on all things automotive and mechanical my whole life when I was in high school I actually filled up my iPad which was supposed to be used for school work with over 3,000 pictures of cars and engines 😂
Several years ago, recall trying out some noise canceling headphones, and finding that they weren't all they were hyped up to be. The tech has probably gotten better, so I'll have to try the recommendation. Still kickin' it with earplug, especially when people eat toasted sandwiches at a cafe I frequent. With crunchy chips.
Not related, but while I out today, I found myself sitting by this elderly guy talking with a family member of his on a video call, putting all his business out there. I was so self conscious having to hear what sounded like private matters that I had to move. Used to be that people wouldn't talk about stuff so openly, or rather there weren't cell phones so people didn't have to hear conversations.