Autism and Driving: Will I be able to drive?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- A surprising number of autistic adults do not drive a car at all. How does autism affect your ability to drive a car? It's normal to be anxious about when about to get your licence. But actually the world is getting more and more sensory overload, and I wonder if I'll be able to drive in the future.
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Hyperfocus and daydreaming is my issues so need to be in the right state of mind to drive safe.
Coffee really helps me deal with that. 😊
Same 🧐 I love looking at the clouds ☁️
I drive pretty well when I'm in 'the zone', I just don't always stop when I'm supposed to..
get a manual
sounds like you need to get in a couple of fender benders before your survival instincts kick in. try getting a stick shift
I really can't cope with other people not obeying the rules of the road and it makes me very angry and anxious
same
Or you adhering to the rules and getting yelled at. One guy got so angry he wanted to beat me up because I only cross the street at green light lmfao
Same
I totally agree with everything said. People are not citizen friendly anymore. A lot of selfishness unfortunately. Thank you for sharing with us all. My son had autism and I wonder if he could cope with it.
The world is not black-and-white and you all seem to not view gray areas
I have severe issues with understanding where I am in space. And i especially can’t process using mirrors and reflections very well, so any time I have to back up I wind up extremely confused. And I can’t drive for any longer than 10 mins at a time or I space out. I genuinely can’t drive long enough to be an independent adult and I’ve just started to accept that, as much as it sucks sometimes.
I am going through the exact same thing right now. You described my situation so well!
I go through the same thing too! I've also got adhd so it adds an extra layer of difficulty :(
Wanted to update this comment, I still can't drive lol. But I've gotten an ebike, and I cannot recommend it enough! It's given me independence, without the issues that come with a car. I can get to the store, I can get to work, I can get to bus stations! It was an investment, but still not nearly as expensive as a car. It's quiet too, the motor is almost silent
yeah sounds like not for you
I'm 22 y/o and I am so terrified of driving. The possibility of hurting someone else or myself in a crash, because I zone out or don't constantly check my mirrors overwhelms me.
When I was 17, my parents pushed me into driver's ed, I did all theoretical lessons without any issue, but when it was time to do the practical driving lessons, I went into a shock state.
I actually refused to sit in a car with a teacher (I was massively uncomfortable around people I didn't know) unless one of my parents showed me the basics first.
They didn't understand that, so not until 2 years had passed, my father finally agreed to go to a place where it is allowed for parents to teach their children how to drive (in Germany you can not just do this anywhere) and on our way there, I had a slight panic attack. When it was actually my turn to sit behind the wheel, I felt like passing out. My hands were sweaty, my heart was racing and I could not focus on anything.
It got a bit better the second time my father and I went there, but I realized, that I sometimes forget to look at my mirrors, check my surroundings.
I became really insecure even though my father told me and my mother, that I did good, except that I was sometimes going a bit too fast.
The biggest problem was, we never went there again, so I never got the chance to really internalize the things I had to coordinate.
I have never been behind the wheel since then, but my parents keep on pushing me to get a license, since it is a basic qualification.
They don't understand why it is such a challenge for me and get really frustrated to the point where there is lots of yelling, which isn't helping in terms of feeling secure enough to actually pick up lessons.
So to this day I don't know how to drive, even though I would like to and I fear I might never.
I too was, and still is like this. Currently I’m a driving test away from having my license, I’ve failed twice once being today the day i write this. I’m going for another test soon, i failed today due to nerves causing a lot of mess up i never had during my lessons. I’ll have the license, as soon as i get my nerves under control from having gone through a couple and feeling it out.
I’m 22 soon, and have purposely waited until now with taking my license for the same reasons you mention. I feared i would be too distracted with what’s going on in my head, to actually focus on driving. I’ve almost got that under complete control now, it helps not having music on, and having an agreement with your instructor that he or she doesn’t talk unless absolutely necessary. This allow you to actually feel like you’re learning, and gaining experience rather than just following instructions at every step of the way.
I’m from Denmark, and instructor cars here must be fitted with an additional set of pedals for the passenger side, which allows your instructor to intervene at any moment taking complete control of the vehicle. This help immensely, as a good instructor like mine will intervene as soon as there is risk, and explain to you why he did so, allowing you to immediately correct your mistake going forward. I’ve had to do some things over and over, to get it right… but I’m getting there. You absolutely can as well, you just need to allow yourself to accept that you can. It’s start in your head, and only you can actually change your own perception, and mindset on driving. You do this by taking two simple actions, and sticking with them no matter how tough it gets mentally to resist giving up. First thing you must do, is stop telling yourself that you can’t… this only further strengthens your subjective, and illogical thought of you not being able to do so. You can do just about anything, if you put your mind to it, and take action. Secondly, you do just that… take action. Get out there!!! fail, and fail again, and then finally fail some more… until you start learning and begin to feel that false belief of “I can’t” fade away into the past. This is the process for everything in life, you don’t get anywhere by not failing… and if you just mentally turn it upside down and begin to see it as gaining experience instead of failing then you’ll slowly begin to turn the whole thing into an actual legitimately positive experience.
You got this, just start… that’s where it all begins. Fuck it if takes you years, so be it. Everyone has their difficulties, and there is no shame in that unless you’ve already given up. Fight for what you want, at last only you can do it.
Im so sorry 😔 I have the same problem too. I feel so ashamed when I make a mistake and want to cry in my room
@@hczylos2432Thank you for sharing your experience, i struggle sm atm with it and I feelt like i have to be able to do everything all at once. My driving instructors suck, they expect me to have been able to do it all right from thw beginning and it's stressing me out so much. They also keep telling me how bad I am and that I' never hoing to make it unless I'll be able to do it all right a away. But now I will just try to learn as much as possible and if I fail, I fail. I'll just try again. And again if I have to.
Driving its a scar 😮
I am the parent of a 22 y/o. We’ve paid a total of $900 for two different behind the wheel classes. One before diagnosis and then one after. We let her drive to and from school for a year. Then after school we stopped for several weeks. Today we resumed practicing and it was almost like day 1. Driving on the wrong side of the street, merging into one lane with a vehicle side by side. I was at a loss and wanted to give up. Now reading these comments I have a better understanding. Thanks 4 the Post.
I am glad that such advertisement is forbidden here in Germany.
Count your blessings it is. Here in australia it is only getting worse.
Exactly. Never seen any of those around here.
That's one country that has some common sense.
problems for me:
- taking rules too literally and seriously -- an important part of driving is flexibility, which is uhhhh a challenge for some of us
- light sensitivity; night driving is even worse than day driving bc it's constant bright lights shining into my eyes, and this plus fear of triggering a migraine gives me panic attacks sometimes
- migraines and frequent brain fog, which can't really be timed *around* driving; even if I feel comfortable driving one way I can't predict how I'll feel when I have to drive back
- if I want to keep my anxiety levels low, I need to block out external audio and blast loud music--but I'm also concerned about not noticing ambulances
- sense of having to manually prioritize attention, especially at intersections; feeling like I have to remind myself the whole time to check the light, check the crosswalk, check oncoming traffic....
- stress over unpredictable parking situations, having to make decisions on the fly
probably a few other reasons but that's what comes to mind, haha
all that considered i'm a fairly good driver, but the amount of stress having to do it causes me is pretty intense
i stopped driving entirely for about 2 years and my therapist helped me get back into the saddle but with covid i'm back out of practice :/
Night driving isn't that bad for me .
My problem is the sunset or sunrise.
I get tired. Easily when this happens
@@paxundpeace9970 there's definitely something weird about the light at those times, i wonder if that's why? i get really spacy when i try to drive at dusk, the world feels less real
I'm 48 and on the spectrum. I have stopped driving because of all the LED lights and signs and the giant moving screens in addition to the huge increase in everyone texting and driving. There's just so much distractions out there for everyone; but especially those on the spectrum. Everything just became to overwelming and dangerous.
I don't blame you I was dignosed with autism at 20 my parents they don't understand stand it till recently my mum brought a book of it from my helper I failed one of the real test spotting the hazard
Passed the 50 questions
Plus I was 19 when I Started learning to be honest I don't care too expensive and it doesn't help because I went to a special school
Just blame my dad for he letting me doing it because when he did it was easier than it is now with the test wish he knew all along
He was a bit of annoyed why I gave up it's my choice like as if for an example I can lay my bed the way I want it
So far haven't seen those bill boards.
Absolutely YES you can drive. I have Aspergers and I have been a HGV Lorry Driver for several years and also hold a bus and coach licence. If anything I find my Autism a big advantage as I notice more details, remember routes better and plan my journey to the finest detail. Trucking is the ideal job for me. On my own all day, preplan my journeys, don't have to talk to anybody else and In complete control of a lovely big truck listening to whatever I want to on the stereo. I also get pretty well paid for driving to some lovely places.
I work in the recycling industry and have contact with truck drivers daily and SO many of them are on the spectrum to one degree or another, it’s great for me. No one else gets how they “work” but it comes naturally to me and I’m their go to guy when they arrive. Just smile, be friendly and polite, give them what they need and STFU! You soon make a few friends that way.
Nice truck.
I don't even have autism, but I fully agree with you about moving ads and screens on the road.
Agreed! Screen billboards should only be allowed to change the display every so often to make them not distracting.
I agree. It's like a deliberate effort to cause accidents.
Yes its distracting for everyone. Austistics maybe have a stronger reaction to it, but a lot of neurotypicals seem to think they are not being distracted while in fact they were.
Thank you! This should be illegal. It's just not an enjoyable world to live in.
For me, the worst thing about driving is my hyperfocus. It's very easy for me to become completely absorbed by an idea and forget what I was doing at the moment, it happens many times each day. It's very useful when I need to solve a problem, because I became completely involved with the question, I can't even perceive any distractions, but when something is not intelectually engaging is very easy for me to escape inside. I wonder if it could happen while I was driving, so I decided not to try.
I have aspergers and adhd and Im an excellent driver! I just need to focus more than normal drivers and be careful! Im always safe and try to always be!
I’m an aspie and driving is beyond stressful for me. When I’m driving with others, I’m really distracted by their presence and our conversation. I drive slower, miss turns and exits, etc. I’ve had friends get really frustrated and say I drive “like a grandma” and just ask to drive instead. It’s really hurtful because they don’t know how tough it is for me to drive. When I’m by myself, it’s like I drive on autopilot and just daydream the whole way through. I also get distracted by scenery and signs a lot. I just moved from California to Virginia and the roads are so different here. I’ve been having so much anxiety on the roads out here. I’ve never gotten into an accident and am - in my humble opinion - a good driver, but nonetheless it’s a challenge and unfortunately I’ve grown to dislike it more as the years go by. Driving at night is the worst!
Sweet, keep up the great work
I have aspergers I live in lunneburg Virginia I just got my learners and bought I car I worry about driving with certain people 😅 i only drove 3 times I haven't ever been thought bad bring up maybe we can talk if u have social media I'm 23
@@CxlurZ In Lunneberg VA? In the South? Not too bad. Virginia, from what I've seen, has a darn good landscape.
Virginia is still a lot better than California.
I'd tell them no, but that they're welcome to walk if they think they'll get there faster.
I always worried about driving but my father insisted I learn, I ended up passing with 100% on the test. That's was two years ago, I haven't driven a car since but I do love my motorcycle
Thank god you said that. This vid was scaring the crap out of me. I too ride a motorbike..
I ride too! It’s fills my brain with stuff to pay attention too. At the same time, it lets me relax and drop my walls down from dealing with social interactions. I love my motorcycle
interesting perspective! my twins have great difficulty riding an ordinary bicycle. i suppose it has to do with their ‘wiring’ maybe the vibration and sway help awaken the senses in some autistics
I ride too and fly paramotors 🙂
Autism shouldnt hold anyone back, ive always said we've a disability in some areas but huge ability in others, embrace it and shine bright 👏
i need to learn to drive so i can legally opearate a steam locomotive
I'm autistic and can never see myself being safe to drive a car. My attention span is too poor and I also have an awful sense of direction, although I realize that the latter is less of an issue nowadays. I would like to learn to drive but my instincts tell me not to so I have decided against it. Maybe one day I'll change my mind but I doubt it. In any case, it pleases me immensely when I hear of other autistic people being able to drive. So glad it worked out for you so well, Paul! Hope you can continue to drive in the future.
Can't drive:
I'm scared of hurting someone
I'm very clumsy.
can't even focus for 3 full seconds.
It's tooooo stressful.
And there are too many bright lights and zigzags and lines.
Fits and seizures and meltdowns.
But I would love to in a free open area with no people and no distractions.
The mind is capable of picking up nearly anything as a distraction or generating it's own internal distractions; the mind is the source of distractedness, not the environment. The environment plays a huge role, yes, but the point I'm trying to make is that it's impossible for a distraction-free place to exist, so that goal is unattainable and rephrasing it a little into something that is attainable will help you attain that goal. If you define what a reasonably distraction-free place would be for you then you can take steps towards finding that place.
Living in a place without people wouldn't be practical or healthy either, rather you should set your sights on surrounding yourself with people who love and value you and want to nurture you, and you them. People aren't the problem, it's who those people are and what they do that can be problematic. Similar with distractions, actually... But, it's critically important to stay connected with as many safe, healthy people as possible for similar reasons that it's vital to eat a varied diet, but instead of a variety of nutrients it's a variety of experience with interactions. People who are well socially connected have access to more resources to have their needs met and to live a fulfilling life. Losing connection with people is losing connection to agency; it's hard to get what you want in life if you can't cooperate with people to help get you those things.
Art Student, you certainly don't have to drive, especially if it's a huge stress and you don't feel safe. But perhaps you could go off with someone and play around in a huge empty parking lot. It could be fun, it would be safe, and over time, you'd get comfortable at least with the vehicle. If you could ever conquer the distraction problem, you might be able to drive in quiet, lower-speed areas. But if not, at least you'd get some pleasure out of it.
I've got the same problems and the same fears. 22 and I still don't want to risk it, eventhough I'll eventually have to
This is exactly how I feel. I feel that if I were to drive here in the city it would be too stressful and I'd be worried about doing something wrong and being shouted at for it or worse getting into an accident or being stopped by police. I'd probably feel much more comfortable driving out in the countryside but even then I'd have to learn to drive first which would be hard because of my anxiety.
Just to be a passanger is stressful.keeping my eyes on the road to be able to notise something the driver dont. I prefer the backseat..i never sleep in cars or planes or anything moving.
I am to afraid to fail, fear of failing the test, wasting money. I can’t really focus on multiple things, so massive traffic is scary. I can’t handle gears, so if I ever try it’s automatic car for me. 42 now and no licence.
Money spent on new experience and skill building is almost never a waste, and the cost of driving training and test-taking is trivial compared to what you could gain in the experience alone; who cares if you pass or fail the test? You'll have had a very valuable life experience and will have learned a lot, and that alone is worth the cost. Also to note, neuroplasticity declines with age, and the more skills you learn and new experiences you have the younger your brain will stay. Not seeking new knowledge and experience prematurely ages the brain, like lack of exercise ages the body.
@@whifflingtit9240 Great advice that is extremely helpful to me!
@@whifflingtit9240 autistic individuals usually have issues with employment and things are very expensive nowadays. Can't afford to waste time on driving when you need food and shelter. Buses/Uber are cheaper too
Keep Going! Don't give up!
Not diagnosed as Autistic, however your videos as well as Sammy's have been showing me many things that I've been dealing with my whole life. I broke down crying, feeling like maybe I had found what I couldn't put a finger on. I'm 40 yrs old and have never held a driver license. Just getting in the mode of doing the test makes me anxious, I finally passed the written over two years ago, but was as far as I have gotten. My family treats my quirks as "me being me" or I'm being told to "act my age". I'm just me, and I know some of the things I do are not "normal" for a 40 yr old man. Just trying to make it through...life is such a struggle. I'm diagnosed ADHD, been dealing with addiction problems my whole life, self-destructing relationships, and just bad self-care. I appreciate what you are doing and even if I am not on the spectrum, your videos are a light in a very dark tunnel. Thank you
I always tell new passengers, "If you don't want me to crash, don't talk to me!" It's an exaggeration, but the potential is there.
Having driving lessons was super stressful, because the instructor simply would not *shut up*. I told him straight... "if it's not directly related to the lesson, please don't talk. I need to focus." Nope. Waffled away regardless. I'd have changed instructor, but... change.... *shudder*.
For me normal talking is fine but if someone is pulling you into a discussion it is bad.
I take don't drive when you emotional involved very serious.
The talking is part of the training. The instructor was testing your ability to focus. While I get where they're coming from, I think Aspies are self-conscious enough to know not to drive if they don't feel safe anyway, so they could do without that part of the training.
I changed mine about 4 times. Finally, I think I've found the one
I have limited driving ability. I did it today and I had to come home a lay down completely exhausted just from going to pick up preordered groceries, going through drive through at bank and pharmacy and get dog food at the feed store. My skills went down w each stop. It took 2 and a half hours but should have taken half as long. By the end I was completely lost and had to use google navigation to get me home. I couldn't even bring the groceries in.
Total sensory overload plus I have dyspraxia so it's difficult to gauge how hard to push the pedal, how fast or slow I'm going, I cant cross lanes without a traffic signal. Even just shadows on the street make it hard to sense what is going on. All the moving cars and hills and curves, not to mention the flashing billboards, etc. I hate it. It's very hard and super scary.
I don't drive, though I have driven. With Asperger's, it was always a fear of mine, too much going on, hyperfocusing makes it difficult. Though, when I lived up in northern Canada, it was much easier for me to drive, no traffic, less going on, less lights, e.t.c. In the city, it's a completely different story, it was never something I thought I was capable of so I just never have.
Same! Driving in rural Minnesota was fine when I was a teenager, even in the winter, but I can’t drive in cities as an autistic. Too much going on.
Same here! Grew up in rural NY near the Canadian border, and could drive no problem in a rural area. Failed my test 5 times because I couldn't handle the traffic, pedestrians, & signs of a larger town. Now I live in a major Canadian city & eventually was able to pass after taking lessons in a suburb and taking my test there as well. I still can't drive downtown and get nervous any time I have to go on a big multi-lane road full of cars doing 20kph above the speed limit with pedestrians & everything else going on around the road.
FYI, many NT's are the same.
When I drive, sometimes I go on "autopilot" and forget about the world. Still driving safe and stuff, but "away".
Oh yeah I'm well aware of going into autopilot, oddly enough my ability to perform tasks can actually get better in this state of mind. I'd play video games sometimes and my mind would wander and before I knew it I'd blitzed through a difficult section in super mario without even remembering what I did in the game.
One time I jumped into the car thinking about the fact that it was unusual that I would have to go to the shops where Officeworks is instead of my normal shops. But I wanted to pick up a coffee first. Then I couldn't remember any details about my drive to the normal shops I was now at, which has no coffee shop.
I constantly go on autopilot. Quite often I drive past when I'm supposed to turn off
Happens to me sometimes when i have been driving for a long time, a good indicator to take a break i think
I did that at night once on the motorway and then couldn't remember where I was or how far I'd driven, and since it was too dark to see any landmarks etc I had to keep driving and wait for a roadsign to tell me where I was. I try to be more present when I drive now so this doesn't happen again.
I’m hoping that driverless technology improves over the next few years. If cars can recognize potentially dangerous situations without input from humans than more disabled people could gain some independence.
My vision is -9.0 so a car that could recognize exits and park at the correct addresses would be great. I hate when GPS doesn’t prompt on time, because writing at distances is a challenge for me. I mobile groom dogs in a huge Sprinter van. I HATE how small the house numbers are written. At this point I’m still a safe driver, but as time goes and my eyes will get weaker. I welcome technology than can make my driving safer. I just hope technology will be ready when my eyes no longer cooperate.
I'm 26 with no license. I know how to drive but it's always been terrifying to me. It's the thought of hurting someone or my self that I'm struggling to get past. It seems to me from this video and others speaking on the topic that if I could just cowboy up and do it, I could probably learn it and be just fine at doing it.
I´m an excellente driver and I think it´s BECAUSE of autism and not in spite of it. When Im driving I drive and nothing else. I follow all the rules dont speed dont go to slow and Im capable of taking decissions in certain situations where other people hesitate (for instance once I was with mykids in the back seat, someone for no good reason walked into the speedway from the right, I knew that if I tried to pull the brakes I would lose control of the car on the left I had a truck so I reduced the speed and got ready forthe worst, luckily this person got out from the road at the very last minute, I have a frine a NT one that once rolled with his car in a very similar situation and almost got killed with his partner just bc he couldn´t decide what to do when a dog cross in front of his car). Im capable of focusing in a way neurotypical ppl don´t. Also I dont get emotional with anything whilst Im driving, I compartimentalize just fine with good results. Does that make sense? What I cant handle arent machines but a Xmas party Lol
this was me when I took driving lessons. I thought of every single thing so intentionally all the time.
I'm exactly the same. And I actually really enjoy driving!
Once, in a documentary on TV, there was this driving teacher who said that for him enjoying driving is making a good it. And I kind of get the same feeling. When I made a good job, I feel good and enjoy the drive. Respecting all rules and being courteous etc.
👍🏻 Let's continue this way!
My driving style is very similar.
I'm not worried about my driving, I'm worried about everybody else's driving.
I’m exactly the same. Driving is one of my “special interests”. I have licenses for cars, motorcycles, trucks, busses and tractors. I also drive a passenger train for a living.
Driving is one of the scariest things for me, I'm so scared of killing someone. Also I'm clumsy and I think I have poor coordination. I can't ride a bike properly either. I just recently started questioning about my neurodivergence and your channel is helping me a lot to make sense of my own experiences. Will get a professional diagnose in 2 weeks so, kinda excited and anxious about it and what it will mean in my life either way. Thanks for creating this wonderful content.
I am not autistic and those moving billboards drive me to distraction too! I actually have to take my hand and cover the billboard up in my field of vision.
Me too!
Is spencer making billboards again?
Oh hey, my biggest fear! My spatial awareness is my biggest weakness. I can barely get a handle of where my body is in space, how am I supposed to do that in a speeding giant metal rectangle around OTHER giant speeding metal rectangles?
I don't really like the idea of driving, but I live in a province where it's almost necessary. It's such a hassle...
Same here, it is a big issue for me. It is also hard to explain to others. I find my road position the hardest thing ever. I feel like I can't accurately perceive where the car is on the road, when on a dual carriage way I normally drive too close to the hedges because I'm so scared of hitting the oncoming traffic on the other side. Don't know about you but I also have a bad sense of direction as well so driving just seems impossible for me since it is so anxiety inducing
Can you play air hockey? Can you play football/soccer as long as the ball stays on the ground? Is ice hockey fine as long as the puck stays on the ice? If yes, then you'll likely be fine driving. I'm completely, totally hopeless at everything 3D. If I tried to play Quidditch I'd be dead in 5 minutes. An eye doctor once told me the reason my driving is fine is because driving is 2D activity. But still, I only have the radio on if I know the roads or of I know how many miles until the next exit.
I totally feel you and I don't wanna pay thousands of Euros to find out at that either.
@OP Driving motorcycles might be an idea for you.
I’d be able to drive a car if I could just pass the bloody test, I’m a nightmare with tests, the anxiety is oppressing! The sad thing is, I’m actually a really good driver too. My driving instructor said the same of me when I did my lessons, he never could fathom how I managed to consistently fail my test 🤣 I managed to get a motorbike licence and never looked back, I love it!
The advertising signs are a nightmare!
Paul, Thanks for your comment bro...
Hey, i drive for years, never had an accident.
Took my test 10 times from reasons similar to what you describe. Do not give up man
@@quantumcontactwithmckennajames I appreciate the advice mate but it’s the physical test that does me in. I went through the multitude of potential questions for the written part answering logically and then just memorised the one’s I got wrong. I could easily pass the test for an automatic car but I’m too stubborn, I wouldn’t feel like I had a proper licence without the gears. I’ve done the test enough times now to know I can pass it but I love the bike and living in London means driving a car makes no sense financially these days. I don’t give up on anything unless it’s for a logical reason, I have a sort of internal fire in my mind that would burn me alive if I gave in to it. 🤣
@@slogger1345 No worries mate!
@@SuckYourBone Never have, never will. 😉
I agree that the billboards that are bright, flickering screens are very distracting!
Yeah! And driving at night is so hard. Especially with bright headlights
I also think that the flashing LED lights on emergency service vehicles can be far too bright and intense especially at night. I understand their need to be seen but they surely don't need to be visible from the moon
Small LED lights that flicker are a pain. Local buses here have a small red LED at each corner of the tail lights. These flicker very quickly, and glancing past them can leave a very brief set of red dots in my vision
It’s so nice to hear some else talk about these awful distracting billboards. I’d like to add one thing, the use of different colored headlights coming at me or the underneath of a car brightly light. I too have to focus intently and these added distractions need to be stopped.
I so agree, those colored headlights and all non standard lighting play havoc with my perceptions, they are dangerous and should be banned imo. Such a relief to hear other people have the same problem
So I'm 32, and I'm just realizing that I'm pretty sure I have autism. My daughter has it as well, I think I'm where she got it. Anyways lol I was TERRIFIED to drive for so long. I didn't start driving until I was 23. I did a little bit of driving lessons, but not much that it helped my FEAR. It was an intense, irrational fear. I can trace it back to when I was about 10, I was with my dad, and he decided that he would try to teach me to back out of the driveway. This was my first time driving, and my grandpa's truck was directly in front of me. As I was about to back out, I forgot which petal was the brake vs the gas. As you said, it felt like so much responsibility. I felt super stressed and didn't want to accidently run into my grandpa's Truck. In the end, my dad pulled the emergency brake on the car, talked to me very ugly, and told me in the most condescending tone "you can't drive, get out the front seat." And it broke my heart. Scarred me for life. I'm tearing up just reliving it, remember the intense self-loathing it gave me. It killed my confidence so much. I'm very "sensitve," as you can say. I take everything to heart.
It took a long time for the little girl inside me to heal, needless to say. It's hard to believe I used to not drive at all. Now, I still have intense anxiety spring up when I'm driving in an unfamiliar place or when I don't know exactly where I'm going, on the interstate or large bridges. Lol
I am 45 this year and never passed my test. I get overwhelmed by it all. I get frustrated with how bad other drivers are. I would have to drive properly.
Dude my grandma used to be afraid to drive in her 30s she started driving before she was scared of semi.
45? You must’ve had some horrible experience sadly. fortunately you can just look up the answers and own the test with charm and confidence.
I just let my instructor talk about his kids and politics while i go around the neighborhood.
@@_WindMy Wife is a driving instructor
in a perfectly ethical society, advertising would at least require consent for every single exposure to it, and optimally everyone that choses to expose themselves to it should be reimbursed for their time/attention by the advertisers. It definitely should not be allowed in public places, especially not roads, it's one of the most intentionally manipulative & toxic parts of our culture. We literally have giant TAC billboard advertisements distracting us on the road to remind us not to get distracted.
I'm 33, and I have never learned to drive because I don't feel comfortable in a car. my first and only time driving my father had me drive his car (i was in my mid 20s) in a quiet strip of road behind the grocery store, and everything played out exactly as I expected. I was not able to keep it properly in the lane, the gas pedal was to reactive for me and I just all around was not able to handle the experience. I haven't driven since
I don't really think I would ever be able to drive. First I don't even have enough money to pay to the lessons, the license or the test... But second, is the anxiety and responsibility that that involves, it would make me nuts just to think about that every time i go out i'd have to think abou that many things, not just my driving it self, but the others too, 'cause others may not even follow the transit rules, and I would have to deal with that. Is hard enough for me to drive my just my bike actually hahaha
So I have specific driving requirements and I also do not like to have passengers because I go into a specific mental state while driving that allows me to block out extraneous sensory and only focus on the things that I need to to drive safely. When I have to interact with someone I lose that ability and very easily go into sensory overload because of everything going on. Additionally when I go into overload my sense of proprioception goes a little haywire and it's more difficult for me to know where the edges of my car are so I give myself extra distance between me and cars on the side of me on my passenger side. There's a host of other problems but generally I drive alone and only when I can maintain that state of mind.
I'm also dyspraxic and tried learning to drive when I turned 18. I was awful so I avoided trying to learn again until I was in my 30's. I just used public transport which has it's own problems (being late for things causes panic attacks). However in my 30's I got a job that required me to do a lot of travelling around the area and public transport just wasn't practical.
Bearing in mind that I couldn't tie my shoe laces til I was 13, I knew it would take a long time to master and wasn't sure if I had enough money to get me to the point at which I could pass my test.
It took me about 50-60 two hour lessons until my instructor agreed to put me in for my test - and I passed first time. I was amazed. I had really struggled with the clutch and the initial moving off, so much so that I was still stalling the car on the way to the test. I didn't stall once during the test and only made one minor mistake. My instructor was amazingly patient and calm which helped a lot.
I've had only 2 accidents in the 10 years I've been driving, neither of them my fault - I was rear ended both times. Admittedly I've backed into a couple of bollards - but who hasn't.
I suppose what a lot of people don't realise is that dyspraxia is a developmental condition and in a lot of people, lots of practice helps to reinforce the learning and as long as you drive regularly, you shouldn't loose those skills.
I truly love to drive. I love the feeling of being one with the car that I'm driving and having it under my control. I love the freedom that it affords. Also auto mechanics is actually a bit of a special interest for me. So I understand (mechanically) what's happening when I'm operating the the gears, brakes, etc.
I prefer manual everything for the best immersive experience. Simpler, older cars just offer less distraction and provide a better feel for what you're doing. I like sticking to the rules of the road as best as I can. I have good spatial awareness and can park a car in tight spaces better than most in my circle of family and friends. I don't mind the responsibility of driving, I believe I'm actually more conscientious than many when I'm behind the wheel. I often volunteer for driving duty when travelling with other people. I feel safer and more comfortable driving than when being driven by others.
But I cannot have music/radio playing or be involved in any discussion while I'm driving; I do need to concentrate. It's like like I'm in another mental zone. No irrelevant human worries are allowed to enter my head space when I'm operating a motor vehicle. When I'm tired I'm more prone to daydreaming and I will not drive.
Been having a drivers license for two years, and I have never had actual issues with driving.
I’m myself a aspie, but I don’t have any things that really distract me from driving. I say that it’s definitely possible!
I have to say... I am perfectly able to, but my dexterity issues and crossing the midline make me not a very good one. No accidents or tickets though
I can't drive. I started learning when I was old enough (17 here in Britain) and during the second lesson I went completely out of control, veered across the road and almost ran over some people on the crossing. Thank goodness for dual controls; at least the instructor was able to brake in time. I realised then that I had no steering abilities (I'm always covered in bruises from walking into walls when walking around corners, lol) and that I really didn't want to try again. Actually, being a lifelong pedestrian saved my life last year, to the amazement of several doctors, because I'm fit from walking almost everywhere. The only problem is severe joint and back strain from carrying too much, but I still walk almost every day. :)
I got my license at 32 years old. It was a bit hit-and-miss for the first few months of driving and I did question whether it was something I should be doing. But now, I drive confidently with absolutely no issue at all. It did, however, take me two-and-a-half years to get my license. But when the skill finally ingrained itself with me, it stuck, and I've been licensed now for 2 years.
Before I was diagnosed I drove a car. It was awful, but I didn't understand why. Other people could do it, so I figured I just wasn't trying hard enough. My mind wanders all the time, and I had several terrifyingly close calls because I was in my head and not paying attention. If anything unexpected happened, (a traffic light out or a stalled car blocking the lane) I was immediately super flustered and couldn't think straight, and was likely to make the worst move. I was so scared of hurting someone, and I would usually have trouble sleeping after driving.
Now I'm happily living in a place with decent public transit, walking, and biking infrastructure, so never have to drive again -- yay!!
I have had my license and have been driving for about 16 years, never liked driving, scared every time.
When I was a teenager with my learners permit, driving was definitely something that made me really anxious. I actually got my permit at 16 but don't get my license until I was 18 (It also took me 3 attempts of taking the drivers test) due to encountering a road raging semi-truck driver my first time driving on the highway. I don't think I really became truly comfortable with driving until I was 22-23? And even then I was still nervous to some degree. However, I learned to drive in a big city and that I think helped me gain confidence in driving to some extent. And also learning to drive in mountainous areas was also a good learning experience too and helped me become more confident since I grew up in a very flat region of the USA. Occasionally, I still get initial anxiety when I head out to drive or haven't driven in a while. That mostly occurs when I'm going to be driving long distance or going to a place where I've never been before. That anxiety almost always dissipates after I start driving. However, I'm sure that I wouldn't be able to just jump right into driving in a place like Los Angeles without first having experienced what it's like even being in the traffic of that city as a passenger.
Bad weather, unexpected behavior from other drivers and distracting passengers are a huge issue. But one thing I am really struggling with is when other drivers are driving to close behind my car. I'm starting to rant and curse when their lights are shining in my mirrors and cause a distraction🥺
I literally just filled out the application form to get my license a few minues ago. I'm in my 30s, got kids and live in the Berlin suburbs so I'm kinda positive to be able to drive. Don't know if I could handle the city traffic tho. I was anxious about driving for a long time. I have major trust issues and I'm aware that you can be the best driver and still, one bad driver crossing your way and that could be it. Fingers crossed, that I got the license this summer and thank you for sharing your experience.
I found driving in Germany very relaxing. Germans are such good drivers.....
I actually live in an area where TV screen bill-boards are manufactured, almost half of freeway bill-boards here are TV screens now, changing, often moving, and it is horribly distracting
Hi Paul, I was always too afraid to drive and even when I tried during a class and "could" do it in my early thirties, I did not enjoy it. I had a similar experience to you where it "came naturally" to me too. However, I found it too stressful being forced to stay at the same pace as everyone else. I work best alone as it is. I also found the pressure to make decisions on the spot (like pulling out into traffic etc) was so stressful for me as I need to go at my own pace in day to day life. I also have a big sensory problem with lights, so bright lights from other car's headlights is very blinding and distracting for me. 40 now, diagnosed ASD (Aspie) and still not driving, but doing ok without it :) Thank you for making this video, I understand your rant.
My son failed his theory test four times before passing, passed his practical test first time.
I get distracted pretty easily. So it scares me as I think I’ll have a car accident or something like that :(
I can't read articles with animated gifs on them. I have to scroll the animations out of view to read the text. But I often lose focus (or focus too much on the topic and lose focus on the screen) . I deal with that by always scrolling so that the top of my screen is where I continue when I notice that I lost it, easy to find where I was. But I can't do both strategies.
I don't have enough need for a license to be able to summon the energy to start practising driving. I'm waiting for robotaxis to eliminate the need to drive.
Hey! I just tried adhd meds and they really help my executive functioning. I think stimulants really help my aspergers
Honestly I'm prepare for doing it one of these days but the thing i need to learn this year is to focus a lot
I'm 26 and have still not gotten my driver's license.
I've done my learners license 4 times and it expired for the fourth time in November and I will not how to do it AGAIN.
I used to be very embarrassed and ashamed of this, but I've really come to realize that I am not a bad person, stupid or weak because I have not yet been able to master something that in actuality is pretty unnatural for humans to be doing :D
It has been my new years resolution for so many years to get my license, maybe 2021 will be the year :)?
Thank you for sharing your experiences Paul, they have really helped me to understand my own driving experiences and struggles.
I found your page a few weeks ago and have really resonated with all the videos I have watched so far - but this one really hit it for me! I hadn't even thought that my driving struggles could have anything to do with Asperger's.
I also completely agree with you about billboards and moving signs next to the road!@ I struggle to even be a passenger with my eyes open, I usually close them when I am in an urban area because I read EVERY SINGLE WORD in my field of vision and it drives me mad how much stimulus there is in cities.
Thanks for making these videos Paul, they're a great help
Don't be worried. I live in the USA and there are so many drivers so much worse that you imagine yourself to be. Just keep on keeping on!
When I was a teenager, I didn’t know that I was on the spectrum. However, from my childhood all the way up until my 30’s I had epilepsy (grand mal). So driving was out of the question for this reason.
Even were that not the case, I have poor coordination and a complete inability to multitask/focus on multiple things simultaneously. I believe this is due to being on the spectrum. I don’t know how anyone on the spectrum can focus on all the different events/stimuli necessary to be able to drive safely.
I'm 18 and I feel I have anxiety when I'm driving. But I know it's important but it doesn't help when girls take the piss out of men for being bad at driving.
It's so hard growing up in a society nowadays, when people are the issue
I don't drive. I'm really scared of it. It's because of so many things coming at me - having to pay attention to the signs, other drivers, animals that might be crossing, birds, weather, anticipating what other drivers might do, maintaining my focus for so long (I love daydreaming), and my reactions (when I get scared I tend to shut down and I can't just stop in the middle of the road) and or my reaction times. Usually any "different" movement from something diverts my attention too. So I don't want to drive. If I can't walk there, take public transportation, ride with a friend, etc, then I guess I'm not going..
I've had my driver's license for just over 10 years but it has been a journey and continues to be one. Learning to drive was SO HARD! It took a really long time to get the physical coordination and spatial awareness worked out.
The driving instructor was told beforehand that I had no experience and would be starting with limited skills but assumed it would be fine. He was perplexed by the end of my first lesson. My autism wasn't known about back then.
My normal day to day driving is fine now but I don't like to drive anywhere new or unfamiliar, it is majorly stressful. I also refuse to drive into the major city where I live. High density traffic with sharp turns, entries and exits everywhere, lots of pedestrians, it is too much visual information for my brain to process. If I need to go to the city or somewhere unfamiliar I rely on public transport or other options.
Work is starting to become difficult when they expect me to do more complex tasks like tow a trailer with an unfamiliar corporate vehicle. I have to awkwardly squirm out of those conversations by bringing up my spatial awareness issues and that I would find it very stressful. Some people at work know I identify as autistic, but with no official diagnosis I'm not comfortable sharing with everyone or using that as my direct answer.
I almost have the opposite experience. I've wanted to drive since I was in nappies and cars are one of my special interest areas. I managed to pass first time in a 1970s Ferrari and have held some precision driving jobs: Driving specialist aircraft loading vehicles on the airport (in a bigger airport than Melbourne's), and also valet parking customer cars at the same airport. Screens and computers are a huge distraction. As you know most modern cars have some sort of touchscreen system, and all have computers fitted. I deliberately drive cars old enough to not be fitted with any computers or driver "aids" (1980s and earlier). They are also more stimulating to drive due to the heavier controls. The sparce design of the dash and driver experience allows you to concentrate on and enjoy the act of driving. Not sure if that was due to my Aspergers, or interest in cars. Modern cars are sensory deprivation tanks in terms of feeling the dynamics of the car, but information overload in terms of stats on your journey (fuel, distance, time, speed etc.), sat nav, moving pictures of the fuel and power transfer, warning signals etc. You can see all the stimuli, but feel none of it. If any normal persona actually *needs* the driver aids of modern cars, they should surrender their license!
I hope this is a useful anecdote of experience.
I hadn’t been diagnosed yet when I was learning to drive, and I was learning to drive because I lived in a place where you’re expected to. I was spectacularly bad to an extent where my driving instructor was nervously chain-smoking after each lesson with me. I passed the exam from the first time by what I can only consider as a miracle. It took me a year of intensive driving with my Mom to stop putting us into dangerous situations, and maybe five more years for people to be saying I’m a good driver. I think I’m an okay driver now and I like renting cars when on holidays, but also I have had tickets and insurance bills sent to me from almost every country I rented a car in, so you decide. There were also a few situations in my life where I almost ran people over because I didn’t notice a person crossing or a traffic light turning red, so the attention issue described in the video rings the bell for me. Anyway, driverless cars are coming, people! 😇
Only time when I kinda like to drive is if I am alone on the road. No cars behind me, no one to get distracted by. But that is not happening often. Can't wait for self-driving cars to become the norm, maybe then I can feel relaxed.
My ex girlfriend taught me how to drive. My mom tried but she kept yelling at me. My ex left me alone even when I drove off the road. Eventually I learned from my mistakes instead of being scared to try at all.
Thank you for talking about that, it's made me feel alot more confident for when I would like to start :)
I didn’t get my license til I was 25-26. The bridges that are stacked up on top of eachother make me panic, so I avoid driving in parts of town that have the stacked bridges. Driving and seeing other bridges next to me and above me freak me out.
Not diagnosed, but I strongly suspect I am on the spectrum.
I have my driver's license - my mom didn't give me a choice when I was 16 to 18, she signed me up for "accompanied driving" (that's a thing here in France, you can't get your driver's license until you're 18 but you can get lessons at 16 then drive with an designated adult besides you to guide you if necessary, in my case my mom) and that was the end of the discussion. I didn't want to do it because I suspected I would absolutely hate it, and oh boy was I right.
I can drive. (Or, well, I /could/, because I haven't touched a car wheel since the day I got that damn license more than seven years ago now and I don't plan on ever touching one again if I manage.) I'm even a really safe driver, because I keep things slow and very careful (and I'm quite coordinated, so it helps). But it's HELL. My brain just doesn't filter information, so I don't know what I'm supposed to be paying attention to because it's a potential danger and what just happens to be there and no one cares. I see everything and I have to loop through it all mentally to identify the important ones, always, at all times, rinse repeat. The fact that I'm really hyposensitive to visual stimuli sure doesn't help - if something is not moving, there's a real chance my eyes/brain just WILL NOT REGISTER THAT IT'S THERE. So, trying to hyperfocus enough to see all the signs on the road for the entire time I'm driving, while also paying attention to all the other cars, and the pedestrians, etc etc etc, and while also performing the associated physical tasks at exactly the right time? It's awful. I genuinely felt like I needed a 3-day nap every time I was done driving for more than five minutes. It's like... I can manage while it's happening (I didn't exactly have a choice), I don't get into overload while I'm on the road, but then I'm going to PAY for the over-exertion of my brain as I feel it crashing down on me. Not that I understood what was going on with me exactly at the time, so I could explain to my mom why something that seems so simple to her is near-overwhelming to me even less.
Anyway, my bicycle (along with public transportation) has been my best friend for the last seven years (soooo much less stuff to focus on while cycling on a bike lane or on large sidewalks, SO MUCH LESS) and it will remain so for as long as I can. That's my main conclusion.
Now, just a quick note about the screens everywhere: W H A T ? I'm from France and compared to what I'm used to here, you just described a damn sci-fi landscape. Screens while you're filling your car with gas? Moving billboards on the side of the road?! SCREENS ON TAXIS?! O_O That's... That's not a thing here (yet). Even billboards of any nature are pretty rare here, outside of cities at least. DAMN, I'm trying to imagine what it'd be like to drive with those added distractions on top of everything else I already didn't deal with well, and it's just *shudders* (At least the not-moving ones, as I mentioned earlier, I just... don't even notice their existence at all half of the time, but if something MOVED it would DEFINITELY draw my attention, and that would be SO BAD.) WHY IS THIS LEGAL?!
my main barrier is getting the practice in. I just cant make a time myself, because I dont know anyone else's scedule. I can make the time, but I need someone else to scedule it but it just doesnt happen. And I cant just do it on a whim becasue im often focused on whatever im doing. But give me a time, ill make it. I just need that time... And nobody is making that happen.
I don't like driving in the dark. But Im able to drive in the dark when i have to. Carlights of other drivers are very distracting for me.
Too bright!
Im afraid of heigts in most situations, so also in car driving. Ie, if there is a real danger if I happen to drive over the side of the way, Im very tensioned and feel unsafe. Very visible on high bridges - I do avoid such ways. A ridicolous example: There was a nice good way nearby my willage from my place to next town south. I hadnt no troubles speed there at will. the way not broad but good, also broad enough for a truck and my car meeting. OK, so they renewed the ditches on the sides. The way as such isnt changed. The ditches arent even visible from the car, but I know there are 2 meter deep ditches on both sides of the way, just 2 decimeters outside. Since that day, I have great difficulties to drive there through. IF I must, so I drive in half my usual velocity, to be SURE I do have a total control.... Usually I drive around this strip on a farmers dirt way going almost parallelly... But I dont have too much troubles driving in the town, in the traffic. I manage even heavy traffic, even if its no fun.
I feel very anxious about driving. I once took driving lessons and noticed that there are too many things to be focused on, it was nerve-wrecking and disorienting. I remember that when i didnt sleep well my driving suffered a lot, and the problem is that i often dont get enough sleep. These are the reasons which make it hard for me to try and finish my driving certificate.
I passed the test many years ago, and drove for a few months, but I stopped, because some situations made me very anxious and felt unsafe. The main challenge I had was estimating other drivers' intentions. Changing lanes was a nightmare, I could simply not understand wether the driver in the other lane lets me in or doesn't. The technical aspects of driving however, I enjoyed and sometimes miss even today. Looking forward for the time, when self driving cars will reliably handle my problem-situations.
Really great videos Paul, I like! Learning to drive was difficult for me. It took me around 10 years and I passed the exams 3 times. But you have to be persistent. Now I have my license and I drive regularly. I can drive familiar paths without stress, but new routes are still stressful. Putting a GPS with my phone reassures me a lot, because if I lose my way on the way, I remain calmer and I look at it. I keep in mind that I can stop at any time if there is a stressful unforeseen event and that also reassures me. Driving with unfamiliar people, having the radio, or having a conversation while driving is difficult, otherwise mental overload occurs. It's adaptation, that's all 😇
I am currently underage and unable to drive legally yet but i have made the decision to not learn to drive due to it being overwhelming, both sensory and emotionally
Forty years old, have failed the driving test a few times, and I'm terrified of being in control of something as big and dangerous as a car, I suppose. I have trouble with paying attention to all the different things, esp. during tests, though I did fine while driving with relatives/friends and not being assessed. Attention is the biggest thing for me, I think.
There's good days and I want to drive and other days I absolutely do not want to drive
I am autistic and was also a driving instructor in England for 22 years. So much of driving is muscle memory, it may take us longer to get there but once we have it's there for ever. Like riding a bike, you don't forget, you just get rusty. Concentration can be a problem, but in terms of driving it's mostly a question of learning what to pay attention to and what not to. It comes down to practise and the habit of focus and it helps if you have the right in car atmosphere for that. Lastly I could not begin to count how many people I got through their tests, who did not think they could or ever would be able to do it and all it took was time and patience; both from me and far more importantly from them.
Honestly never thought autism would affect driving. Definitely gotta look into that before I start lessons
haven't watched the video yet but man you know what really saves my ass? driving stick and using cruise control. The stick keeps me engaged at all times because I have to constantly think about what I'm doing. That might sound pretty bad but in reality it turns driving into a series of minigames and it's extremely helpful for maintaining focus. The cruise control helps me maintain my speed, especially on the interstate, so I don't find myself absent-mindedly doing 90 or whatever.
I'm a professional driver now.
(I'm a medical courier, actually, and if you have a car and need a good job for autists, google "medical courier [my area]" and uh they probably won't even interview you. I've gotten three of these jobs and I only had one REAL "interview" interview.
Best job in the world!
Funny you made a video about this now. I started a year ago my driving licenes journey. Had my theory test in november and past it on the first try (apperantly common for people with autism) but than a week later i failed the driving test. Knocking my confidence down greatly. I now have my second driving test 2 and half weeks from now. I was told i failed the test because i was too careful and not looking in mirrors enough. It didn't take me a long time to get the grips of the driving and the rythm of it either like you. I have a pretty tough teacher. Which made me feel very uncomfortable with her coldness at first. Later now i acutally started to appreicate it she is very straight forward. But i get very effected by other peoples energys. So thats what worries me more for the second driving test. Because it could be a different person . Its never your teacher so its strange to sit in a car with someone you only going to talk and drive around for 20-30 minutes. Even more akward when said person isn't that easy to have a conversaition with (which was the case on the first test for me) Which sounds like the least of problems. But i know how to drive a car, i been driving for almost a year now. I which it was just a droid/A.I that said ''turn left, turn right' instead of a human just sitting there akwardaly lol.
The answer from my personal experience is yes with a lot of effort
In my case Im afraid to drive because when I get anxious I magically become blind lol In those situations its very hard for me to pay attention to whats going on around me. So Im afraid to cause an accident or hit someone... Also my body freezes and I think I wouldnt be able to react if there was a lot of traffic or too many things happening at the same time. This is just a fear, because, actually, I drove in the past at a young age and Im a really good driver, but now that Im older my anxiety has increased... Driving is still in my To do list.
The thought of driving terrifies me. I enrolled in driving school years ago (I’m almost 25) and it’s been taking so long because I go into this kind of shutdown and panic and intense emotions. There’s just too many variables and dangers and unexpected things. Other drivers scare me, I hate being in control of a 10000000 kg machine that can kill someone in a one second mistake, there’s so so much to take in/block out. I’m just now being evaluated for Asperger’s, and it makes me wonder if having it is a complete barrier to driving or if I can somehow work through it, though I don’t know how. The feeling of failure as a perfectionist is soul crushing, and the embarrassment is impacting my social life as well, since friends and family know about it. When I try to explain to someone how incredibly hard it is, they just say “oh, everyone is nervous when they first start!”.
Feeling completely lost and frustrated. Simply watching this video made me break down, but seeing these comments gives me some comfort. Sorry for dumping all of this here... Maybe no one will mind.
I was always too scatterbrained and daydreamy to drive safely, though I tried to learn when I was in my late teens. My driving instructor, who was a jerk, told me that I had a "lazy brain" because I kept failing to notice important things on the road. After school I moved to a large metropolitan city where it was easier and cheaper not to have a car and just rely on walking and public transit. I also found it easier to know my way around this big city because the streets all just ran east-west and north-south, so I simply had to memorize the order of the street names (I had terrible sense of direction). Now I am in my 40s and still don't drive. Sometimes I wish I could just rent a car for specific purposes, but I am convinced that it'd only be a matter of time before my attention strayed for a second and I ran over a small child. I think as I get older, not driving will become more of an obstacle - for example, if I want to take my elderly mom to the doctor, or I become elderly and need to get to a lot of appointments. I do worry about there being more and more crazy, dangerous people on public transit, too, with the downward direction our world seems to be going in. Sorry if this was depressing.
Driving across the US I'm fine. Driving anywhere in or around the city I live in, anxiety x1000. Parking, finding the friend or friends Im meeting up with, etc. I feel like too, lots of industries rely on cars to make their money. Its kinda insane when you think that lots of ppl drive and yet its dangerous as all Hell when you look at the numbers of accidents and such.
I'm 19 and have been on/off learning to drive for 3 years, it just doesn't click for me. I feel constantly terrified and disheartened, I worry every day that my brain won't let me do it and I just want to be independent
Distraction has become a really big issue for me with driving just in the past couple years. I'm distracted by screens as well as every car and buildings and people that I see. Because of this it has become hard for me to drive safely and I typically stick to small towns and back roads where all I have to do is watch out for deer. The thought of driving in a city or town of over 15,000 people terrifies me.
Because of COVID I rarely drive anymore since I don't leave my neighborhood. I'm afraid I'll lose my driving skills.
In the states we have digital billboards too, but they can’t show any kind of video, just still ads. There are restrictions on how often they can change the ad it’s displaying to limit distraction.
I would say I am an excellent driver for the most part. The only thing I have trouble with is when passengers are being loud or reaching over too close to me, which is usually a non-issue.
In fact, I would say that because if autism, when I go somewhere with other people, sometimes it is a better choice for me to drive my own car rather than ride with someone else, because then I can leave when I need to.
So, first of all, I have never been diagnosed as autistic, but I feel like it would just explain so much. I have never gotten my license but have been practicing with my learning permit for about 8 years now. I cannot believe we were both horrible at those racing games and had the same thought that it would translate into real-life driving skills. It's actually a bit of a relief to hear that this was not the case for you. I mean, maybe I am not as bad at it as I think. I feel okay driving with someone else in the car to make sure I'm doing everything right, but the thought of driving by myself is terrifying. I try to imagine it as reality, and I cannot. I have never worked up the courage to take the test because I am convinced I would fail. I think it's also built up in my mind as a huge deal because everyone has been telling me to just get my license for so long. It's almost like it's the ultimate test of me as a person, and I don't know what I would do if I did fail. It seems the weight of my shame grows with every passing day, and I'm not sure how much longer I can bear it.
I am autistic and personally I prefer biking to get places much more than driving.
One reason is that I have slow reflexes and I often take longer to process things than others. Generally, cars go much faster than bikes which means you have less time to process and react.
Another reason is that I have much, much more experience with biking than driving. I have so much experiance that sometimes I will start spacing out but it wont be a problem because I continue safely biking just using muscle memory. My body will go on autopilot while my head is metaphorically “ in the clouds”. I can do the same thing while walking. Cant do that with driving. Not nearly enough experience.
The last reason is that I find driving very overwhelming. There a lot of things you have to focus on at once and multitasking was never my strongest skill. You have to be aware of your speed, signs, intersections, any cars around you, pedestrians, road conditions, navigating where you are going, etc. Its a lot to do all at once. Like trying to juggle and read a book at the same time. When I took driving classes when I was younger, my instructor said I “drove like a grandma”.
It helps me, because if something requires my attention, I shut out distractions like music/radio, or people talking to me. The test and driver's ed was the tricky part for me because of social anxiety.
We took our son to Derby for assessment and then I taught him how to drive an automatic. After a year or so when he had become quite proficient I sold it about bought a manual. Small steps is the way to go. He's a great driver now having taken his test in both an automatic and manual vehicle.
Learning to drive in the UK is so hard even when you’re not autistic. You have to do both a practical and written test. I always score high on the written test and have failed the practical test twice. I have an ASD and ADHD diagnosis and hate driving but I’ve started lessons again as I know it will help me to be able to get about.
Same! I have really hated learning to drive. Changed instructor twice, and if I don't get along with this 3rd one, might have to change again.
I swear driving instructors take advantage of autistic learners. They *know* we're slower than the average learner and thus can milk more money out of us. I'm so over it at this point 😠
You should think about trying with a different instructor if you haven't already
Although I practiced driving a long time ago and did fine, my therapist explained to me what areas impair my ability to drive is being visually spatially disoriented, low-frustration tolerance, impulsive thinking and decision making, possibly lack verbal and nonverbal abstracting, short-term memory problems, but most especially having epilepsy even though it is well controlled with medication and not frequent.
We have many of these screens in LA and southern California. I know the distractions are really tough for me. Also, being able to see the person behind me's head really freaks me out.
I’m driving a garbage truck in big city’s, an im one off the best in my company. I learned my self to focus on the road but still see almost everything that’s going around me. I already knew that I wanted to be a driver, because I know I can’t sit 8 hours behind a desk or in a building. An driving makes my mind get some rest!
I'm a good/ok driver in most situations but I cannot pass the bloody test. I have been almost test-ready with 3 different instructors but the 2 times I did a 'practice test' with an examiner I got horrible anxiety and failed *spectacularly* which puts me off trying again for many months. I hate being trapped in a car so close to an examiner. It is so humiliating to break down emotionally in front of your instructor and the examiner. One of the tests I failed literally within the first 10 seconds because I was so nervous that I made the car leap forward out of control when I started it (the only time that has ever happened to me).
It can be a problem when you have visual (or other types of) sensory issues, e.g. you see as "flat" things that have a collocation in space. This happens sometimes to me, of course not only when driving, but just randomly. Sometimes for me it's scary to just walk down normal regular stairs, as they occasionally appear flat to me, I have fallen and tripped many times. So yeah, that's one of the reasons why I feel quite worried when driving, even though I honestly enjoy the feel of freedom and the boost of adrenaline that comes from it
Driving is where I'm MOST confident. Oh ya I'm very much autistic also. Been diving a long time no accidents but several near misses.have had a few speedy tickets. But I'm a very safe cautious driver. Very aware of everything going on around me at all times when I'm driving have to be when your lead footed