As a relatively young person in the family I am often asked during family gatherings what happened to dating and relationships why are majority of you youngsters single now? I often don't know what to say because it's a long story with multiple different factors. I think your video is a great summary of what the problems of dating are currently. It's pretty balanced and at least you didn't say it's men's fault like a lot of others did. So I think this is a good video to send to those people who ask "what happened to dating".
It's far more womans issues (feminism is a feminine ideology made to cater to women, and women bought in hard) and it's not most men's jobs to fix that, it's smart women's jobs to fix that shit, they won't listen to men anyway, we either lawfare it out of public discussion or have e women fight it ideologically with another feminine ideology that actually benefits women (and not feminists).
And either way, a lot of men are already fighting feminism that's what red pill is about, it's about recognition of the roots of some of the issues (things like hypergamy, dating apps, hook up culture, etc) and the willingness for men to step away and from stepping away wake women up and talking about how both men and women can fix the problem, men by going thier own way, and improving themselves, and women by recognizing feminism is toxic, hypergamy and feminine bullying is stopping them from finding partners, and that sleeping around isnt doing anything good for them. All of that is redpill
Graduated as a undergrad one weekend and got married the next weekend. I was 23 she was 33 been married 30+ years. Lost her to Alzheimer's/ dementia. We were loyal to each other the entire time. Now I am starting all over. God I miss my best friend, my wife.
What a beautiful marriage and I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻 I’ve lost quite a few family members to Alzheimer’s and it is brutal. I’m wishing you much love and peace of mind on the road ahead my friend ♥️
@@ronifouks Why should men pay from first date.. Why dont women make men sandwich from the first date.. Or give him a BJ on first date.. You seem like a gynocentric women..or women first mentality
@@davedsilva Appreciate the idea. I am 58. So am I just looking at a 40+ virgins. Would be very interesting to understand why she is a virgin. FYI My wife / soulmate was married before before I married her. Absolutely the best thing ever for my life. Thanks for an idea, had not thought about it.
@@TheDWZemkeVirginity is necessary these days for pair bonding, otherwise it's just your turn. I'm around your age, and was surprised 20 year old virgins look to me seriously, driven by their fantasizing for a daddy-husband. But I only rotate 20 year old 304s where they love being side chicks to avoid ruining any good girl. The key is to talk Chad romance novel scenes like 50 Shades and they go nuts. Be the Chad Gentleman.
One thing that would have been good to mention during segment 1 about negative messaging around marriage is the fear men have of the family court system. A sizable chunk of millennial and gen z men have seen what our fathers, uncles, siblings, etc went through with an ugly divorce or child custody battle and choose to avoid marriage to protect themselves. After all, nothing encourages marriage more than a broken or bitter relative repeatedly warning you to never get married to avoid what they went through. /s
It's why I won't marry. My father's ex wife stole everything from the family. Moved in with a new guy. And left her children to starve. She of course took custody. My father killed himself due to her actions. And us kids were left with this evil witch who allowed her new husband to rape my little sister. She just turned a blind eye. She liked that he had money that's all that mattered to her. Anyways. Many years later she divorced him too. Took much of his wealth. Well done mom. You cunt.
You shouldn't get married for marriage's sake. If it i a bad deal for either side in the contract, then that side has a reason to avoid agreeing to it. When chances of success are worse than a coin flip, it is time to reevaluate things and those men are smart to warn the next guy to prevent them from making a mistake.
There is a vast difference between an uncomfortable conversation and a talk where your partner constantly weaponizes your past mistakes and transgressions to justify terrible treatment of you. Wonder how I learned that….. 😐
yeah. I wish I'd had the awareness and maturity to identify and respond to this kind of behavior in a healthy, self-protective way from the beginning. Not a fun experience. I wonder how common it is.
You mentioned men should pay on the first date. My 2c. Dating with regards to restaurants etc has only really been around since the 1950s. Men paying for it really just started from that point. Prior to that courting was much more about reciprocation. A man would visit a woman's household but he would also be given a meal and a demonstration of how well she could manage a household, A man would be expected to show how well he could manage his life. For example he might bring the meat for the meal a woman prepares, if he was a blacksmith he would bring something he had made etc. What's missing in today's dating is that act of reciprocation. I take a woman on a date, I pay yet I get nothing in return. That first date sets up the basis for the rest of the relationship. Responsibility without reward or authority. Now I am NOT saying the reward should be sex. But ladies, if you do not show reciprocation, you are not marriage material. Now the easiest way is either to go halves or pay for something else like drinks or the show ticket prices etc. One girl (who I later married) every date I paid for the next date she made a meal or prepared a picnic for us.
Dr Orion Taraban wrote an excellent book on this very topic "The value of others: understanding the economics of relationships". In short, he says relationships are a value exchange. Both people have to get equal value from the relationship. If not, one of the parties will feel like they are getting taken advantage of.
The problem with men paying for first dates is that it has been abused by women, to go on a date to get a meal, and then split. These women have zero interesting in these dates they go out, just to get a good free meal. If you ask them why, they feel entitled to the meal.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 "Both people have to get equal value from the relationship." - Men get the pure joy of being in the presence of the angelic light-being that is the human female. What could possibly have as much value as that?
One could argue that she gave you the opportunity for a date, because she has enough to choose so it is already spending her value time with you. And since our goals today, usually are not cooking and crafting anymore, but are more about character, you are kind of equal at the dating table… But I get you, if I feel like I’m expected to pay just out of principle, then she lost already 20 points . I have stop dating multiple women after I gave them a little hint that they could offer to share the bill, so I might decline if I thought she behaved well on our date, and the ones who did not respond on purpose or made that I want me to pay, got sorted out. I know from a friend dated a girl who was very vehemently arguing that the man has to pay for her time and she would kind of pay back by then giving gifts later, who still wanted him to pay hundreds for activities after he explained that he has no job right now, but she did 🤯
Hate to say it, but just because you are an exception to the rules by getting married through Bumble doesn’t mean we can all sidestep the landscape and just choose to be in your shoes. I have always been authentic, intentional, honest, caring and as much fun as possible.. can you guess how that ended up for me EVERY SINGLE TIME? Not only do I get dumped or cheated on but then I have to live the shame of being called “weak” for desiring a real relationship and that it’s my fault for chasing them off. I don’t care what anybody says anymore.. it has been proven to me beyond the shadow of any doubt that women are disgusted by decent men.
This was relatively well balanced that didn't put all of the blame on men as is our cultural norm. What was left out was the legal system. It's not a no fault divorce system. It's a his fault divorce system in which who ever accepts traditional masculine responsibilities with masculine sacrifices will be exploited by the legal system. This creates a situation in which women bounce on marriage when ever they are bored or tempted by another option. As an example of our his fault divorce system, I did a meetup group hike two weeks ago in which there was one man who hasn't seen his kids since December 2022 and another man who spent the previous weekend in jail because he got laid off and his amazon delivery money wasn't enough to allow him to eat and pay the $2,500 per month lifetime alimony. He foolishly stayed legally married to an abusive women so that her and their kids and her kids could have medical insurance. Now he is paying for that self sacrifice with lifetime alimony that he owes even during retirement. This means he needs to work until death or he goes back to jail.
I haven't seen my oldest 4 kids in 9 years. I spoke briefly to my oldest (now 18) he basically hates me and drank all of the koolaid his sociopathic mother gave him. Fuk these marriages and relationships. If I do relationship again it will hopefully be with someone in another county
I honestly thought I was done with dating, when I got married in the late 90s. We were young, but both of us knew it was meant to be, and it was. I do not have the bitter divorce story of so many people. We said our vows, "Until death do us part," and meant it. The only problem is that I assumed we would be both old and grey when that happened. So, now, here I am, in my late 40s, facing the prospect of dating again. My wife passed nearly 3 years ago and I am slightly reluctant to get out there again. The world of dating has drastically changed since I was last in it. Plus, even without the technological changes, dating in your 40s is different than dating in your teens and early 20s, when I last participated. While both my sons are grown young adults, most women in my dating pool are going to be divorced, and, likely, will still have children at home. If am going to be brutally honest, I raised my kids, and loved every minute of it, but I am done with that and don't want to do it again. I would prefer if my next interaction with children was when I have grandchildren.
I would point out that a man in his 40’s doing well for himself and in good shape can be attractive even to late 20’s and 30’s women. As a man you’re not restricted to 40 old women.
Honestly I wouldn't go for any women who use online dating or actively use social media. The odds she wrongly thought men wanted anything more than low effort sex is scary high. And since we know men select down for hook ups, it causes women to experience men outside their commitment range and that'll make it near impossible to appreciate or be aroused by men on their level. This is a much larger issue than anyone is willing to accept.
The much larger issue that no one seems to accept at all is in fact that most men only really aim at women who are way beyond their level (usually looks). It's the men that are sickening society with always wanting what thay cannot have, and that's usually preetty girls/beautiful women. Why don't you follow your own stream of thinking, get honest about how you look and what you can offer and start choosing according to YOUR level ?
@@leebishop7591 It is not a matter of CAN or CAN NOT, it is a matter of consistency. If you see a video like that it is because deep there you still have some hope.
I would try dating foreign women. I would totally agree with dating Western women unless if you find a diamond in the rough or you get married young It's pretty much garbage now but there is still a couple billion pretty awesome women around the world that have very good attitudes much more conservative and to keep themselves in good shape.
I respect your perspective! It’s empowering to embrace singleness and prioritize self-contentment. Just make sure to stay open to new experiences and connections when the time feels right. While being alone can be fulfilling, you might find joy in unexpected friendships or relationships that add to your happiness.
whats wrong is if the guy treats her seriously and makes it clear he wants to marry her, the girl gets put off and goes for the guy who doesnt care about her, she should be like 'great this guy isnt just going to sleep with me, hes a good guy i should be with him' but that isnt what happens IRL, the guy who ignores them they sre attracted to, something is seriously wrong with them, i dont expect them to like the loser who wants them bad, but if a nice guy good looking comes along and gives them the impression he is serious they get turned off.
That happened to me. Broke my heart. She had a really rough childhood and bad relationship experiences. My therapist thinks she "love bombed" me. Showered me with affection so I would be really into her and give her loads of attention and affection back. She did this to feel good about herself. To feel like she is wanted and desired. But then she got her fill and moved on to someone else. Without telling me. My therapist suggested that she might not feel like she deserves to be treated well. That's why she ends things.
I will die alone before I fall for a marketing scheme where I am commodifying myself alongside a bunch of sociopaths. (Use dating apps or social media.)
Incredibly well put, I read your comment three times and I appeal to the channel creator to pin your words right below the video. Goes without saying I second your thoughts.
I am 53 and I stopped dating 7 years ago. If you wait until you're older, you mainly meet people with mounds of baggage. It's to the point that dating doesn't sound even fun in the least. Back when I was in high school and university, it was exciting. There was so many great attitudes. No one had really started their lives, and picked up their adult life. We as a species will one day have to getting dating offline and have people meet and mingle in local areas. Stop having all the women chase all the percieved great guys through online dating, that gets them ran through, bitter and man-hating.
They do, and the diseases, I stopped same time, had met a gal at a speed dating but she using me for sex while I use her for comfort, I figure may as well let my heart get broke one last time, felt great because I knew that was probably it for me.
They KNOW the men they're sleeping with are seeing other women. They're buying lottery tickets, hoping that by sleeping with the 9, that she'll be the lucky 6 to hold him down. Or she's delusional and thinks she's a 10 and that she's the one saying no to all the 9s and when she's done having fun she'll "let" one of them take care of her for the rest of her life.
Been married, divorced, and now single again. While I appreciate the positive message of this video espousing the benefits of marriage, in TODAY'S WORLD, marriage is a very bad deal for the vast majority of men. MAYBE a few decades or a few generations in the future, things might change, but for now marriage is a bad deal for men. I would strongly advise men young and old to avoid marriage. Date as much as you can. Fall in love. Have long meaningful relationships, but do not sign that legal contract of marriage. Somewhere along in the marriage, the benefits of marriage evaporate. The intimacy and caring and even sex disappears. You may be left with a grumpy bitter aging woman who is nothing like the wife you married. The inevitable divorce will deplete you of the money and resources you sacrificed and worked for a lifetime. Skip all that pain and expense and disappointment.
What’s the point of sterile relationships you are promoting as an alternative to marriage? If there’s no possibility of a relationship leading to the formation of a healthy family, then i'd rather stay celibate.
Phenylethylamine production ceases in 75% of women in relationships at around the 18 month to 2 year mark. That time period is the only statistically significant factor. Less than 20% of men ceased production in the course of the 5 year study. The "natural" loss of interest in sex that you are partially describing is only natural for women. With no guarantee of continued sexual supply after that - almost guaranteed - loss of interest and no social contract to protect men from not having their own needs while still being expected to meet all of hers.... Combine that with universal social messaging that women should tap out of their relationship as soon as they are unhappy while men who do so are scum and I think you've got some deeper challenges to face if you want to rebuild faith in long term relationships for men. One more little objection. The belief that men sort women into 2 groups is very problematic. Men sort women into 3 groups. Those we would consider viable for a long term relationship, those we would have casual sex with and, by far the largest group, those with whom we would never be interested in either. The fact that you can't conceptualize that a man might not be delighted to have sex with any woman who wants him is classic rape culture.
Men also lose interest in physical intimacy too. See "The Coolidge Effect". I agree with your point around pro-divorce culture and people unnecessarily divorcing to protect the kids from an unhappy marriage. This is very problematic for relationship stability but millions of men keep getting married every year, and there are plenty of unmarried simps who want to get married.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Thanks. I had already clearly acknowledged that a percentage of men lose interest - 20% over the course of the 5 year study - to be exact. The answer to both of your points is "rates" which are always more important than absolute numbers. For example 75% is much larger than 20% . While there are still plenty of people getting married the marriage rate is steeply declining while the percentage of young men not looking for a relationship at all has leapt about 10% in less than 2 years. If you want babies being born to support you when you retire (and you really should) then these rates of change should scare you.
@@brianmeen2158 Hadn"t occurred to me but I don"t see why not, in theory. It is, after all, just another amphetamine... And because of that anyone selling it as a supplement could get a visit from the DEA any time now. Also, if legality doesn't bother you, you might as well just take ecstacy, it has the same general effect on your desire to rub yourself on things.
When I googled rape culture the definition is a society that normalizes rape and abuse as acceptable. If this is the society I live in, it’s funny that I’ve never seen that messaging. All I have ever seen is that rape is wrong and not tolerated. I cannot see the connection between leaving out one category of women, women a man not interested in period, and rape culture. I agree there is that 3’rd category, but cannot see how leaving that category out implies rape culture. I think she left that third category out because she was talking about women men have interest in and how men categories those women. In that context, the third category is irrelevant.
38:03 Im sick and tired of hearing women saying men should pay for a person they dont know. Why? Is your time worth more than mine? Men and women are equal now, so how about we drop the cherry picked traditions of old? Women expecting me to pay, does not make me feel chivalrous, it makes me feel "lesser than" and that I am paying for their presence. Lets normalize splitting the bill on the first 3 dates, then we can talk about men taking care of their partners. And another note: Female "fuck boys" also exist, for whatever reason the dating apps are swarmed with women who are just looking for sex, which I am not.
Thank you! You have articulated a double standard that I have been trying to point out for years. I've never understood how women have been able to argue that their time is so much more valuable than ours. Objectively not true.
Wow. This is the most insightful, spot-on take on everything that is wrong with today's dating scene that I've ever seen. I think your advice for using dating apps is spot-on, too. Appearances are important--but not everything. There is a reason why we wear our best suits to a job interview, but it's ultimately our skills that get us the job. Thanks!
The work-out part we men have control of. The job part? Highly dependent on the local economy whether positions are available or not (mostly not in many places within North America). That part's not always our fault.
Women can have sex and not worry about being forced to support a child. Men can't. Discrimination based on sex is illegal. This is a Human Rights issue. Men's Rights matter.
Can you get a relationship? Mostly, no. Can you keep a relationship should you happen to get one? Also, mostly no. (Do prenuptial agreements work? Mostly, no...)
I'm living overseas in Asia. It seems like 98% of women on dating sites there are hookers. Lots of fake profiles too: "I'm single... I'm looking for serious...", but if you contact them, they tell you that they are actually just 'looking for customers'... Are many women just out to sell themselves these days?? - So frustrating... 😢
I’m a 60 y/o guy. Divorced for 17 yrs and pretty much single since. Not my choice on the divorce. I want to be in a compatible, committed relationship but I despise dating. I have absolutely no desire to go through the dating bullshit. I do not trust women’s intentions. So it looks like I’ll will be alone from here on out. Sucks but it’s safer
I am 36. Same story. But no marriage. Before system's penalize women for divorcing. It will be encouragement for divorce. Right call buddy. Its best if you pay Escorts for social interactions. No. Commitment but you'll have a person.
You don't ask a fish for advice on how to fish. This "be authentic and be yourself" stuff will leave you alone as woman after woman walks away as they lose what little attraction they had to begin with. That is a fact. If you really want to torpedo your changes, let her know up front you want marriage. She will look for a man that is likely "better' because he has options and isn't worried about settling down. Often times, women look to each other to know what they want because they can't figure it out on their own. Reread my last sentence and you get the picture of what is going on...
"You don't ask a fish..." Indeed. And on top of that, some fish will say "We are protected by the great white shark who will eat you alive if you dare fish in our waters!"
I think a strategy I should take being 35 years old - is to start regularly going to activities like yoga, salsa, running/hiking groups, and anything where I can naturally also meet women. But still just enjoy the activities. And then make new friends. Just make it a habit, and it will naturally expand social circles. I don't consider online, it's inadequate. Or bars/clubs and similar places. Anyone with a "hookup" mentality is always full of insecurities and issues. I just want to meet normal people, and see each other as people first.
I did try that strategy when I lived in the city in America The problem was any single woman that I have for found that was into any of that stuff was very left-wing I mean like universally It's very weird I'm sure there are some women out there I just never came across them who were a political or just normal people. I suggest dating foreign woman since the vast majority of women in the world are not in America or the West in the vast majority of them are not caught up in our weird politics and like traditional roles. Worked wonders for me
This video has taught me alot. As I watched it and learned I realized that I am such a jackass to my first partner. I never truely understood what she was going through and I acted so stupid. I feel like I ruined her and set her on a path of self destruction. And the worst part is I can't even tell her how much I fucked up.
Once you truly understand vvomen, you will never ever be able to love again. The manosphere and social media exposed the dark side of vvhamen‘s nature Men are waking up and vvomen are terrified!
Nothing wrong with modern dating, it's modern women that's the problem, even if you have the best of the best which I do, it's a daily emotional roller coaster,
@@bassw1758 Reminds me of all those classic Hollywood films where the man just slaps the woman and everything goes on like, “yeah, I had that coming….gonna behave now. Thank you, sir.”
It’s ridiculous to only blame one gender for modern dating. Anyone that takes a deep dive into why we are at this point would come out blaming both sexes
It's the second video that i watched till the end. Thanks for the time you have took from your real life to post your perspectives, despite being far from perfect ,for me they have one of the most accurate depictions of today's dating culture matters.
I believed as you do when I was younger. Went to college, got a good job, got married, bought a big house, got it *paid off*, had a child. When my son was 3 my wife wanted a divorce. Had to sell the house. But I didn't give up, found a new wife, raised my son in joint custody. But pretty much the same thing happened again. And I know people who believe in marriage so much that they've done all that as much as 4 times! But I've given up. I have several ladies who enjoy my company and appreciate my support but are fairly independent. I message each of them when I feel like seeing them. Occasionally they message me. We get together when we want to. I do what I feel like doing all the time. I'm much happier. Marriage may be good for society, but it's horrible for the individual. And like anything that's good for society but bad for the individual (taxes for example) in order to exist it will have to be enforced with an iron fist. It's not going to be something people do voluntarily.
Those last 2 sentences are spot-on; I expect bachelor taxes (which will be distinct from higher taxes for singles) before too much longer. Somebody's gotta be the pay-pig.
The wrong marriage is horrible for the person, the right marriage will literally make your life. Selecting an appropriate partner is difficult, but today peoples minds are broken because we have no patience, and we're all to self-centered.
I am a man and I found this video enlightening, even though most of what you said should be obvious. The part about how woman bond a lot more strongly with sex and yet refuse to admit to it to themselves, actually blew my mind. Also, I feel like I have rarely seen a comment section as toxic as this one. Might be because you are trying to put responsibility on frustrated internet men.
Another great video 👍 I've been trying to find a female TH-camr that fully breaks down such topics in order to make the information much more palatable for my female family members. And I'm glad to know that I found you. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comprehensively breaking down these complex topics.
Thanks for this wonderful summary on modern dating! While I agree on many things you say, I am having a problem with the combination of the payment requirement for men @ the first date and your advice for women to let men wait. If I pay the first date, the expectation is I end up paying the second date as well, and the third and the fourth. Unfortunately according to my experience the chance of a long term relationship does not increase with the number of “paid” dates. A NY survey revealed last year that 1/3 of all female participants only come out for the meal they get sponsored and not for the romance. It is hard as a man to differentiate between a woman with honest intentions and traditional expectation - and a “beneficiary” of male goodwill.
I think that the statements within 25:00-30:00 regarding men’s ethical accountability within women making an independent decision to hook up on the first date are misled. Any man consistently pushing a woman to sleep with him early on despite her hesitance is certainly in the wrong, but positing it - and a woman agreeing in her own desire for him - is nothing to blame any man for. VERY dangerous territory if we are implying that a man ought to be looked down upon for the latter.
This is a really solid analysis. I think it has always been hard for people to be vulnerable and the social scripts of the past helped a lot with that.
I like your well-reasoned, balanced and insightful view of many issues that are very relevant to me. I can ask such questions as “Is feminism really progressive or opportunistic?” or “Is your focus on a man’s work ethic or job title a traditional value or just a shield for the entitlement to be taken care of?” At the end of the day, your views give me greater clarity on my own views which often span the divides of socially liberal and conservative. It’s not that I expect to have it all figured out, but feel more comfortable being authentic and accepting the consequences. And for that I’m grateful to you.
Problems with dating is; 1. Toxic women are running rampant on social media telling women men are no good, useless, unreliable & only good for rss. 2. Dating apps are useless & costly & create a cradle for people to avoid approaching each other in public & social settings. Getting rid of dating apps & women starting to incourage men to approach them, will solve about 90% of the problem IMO People have stopped talking to each other & need to get back to this social interaction to save the human race... our birth rate has fallen to unsustainable lvls & we won't last as a species if we don't change this dynamic.
No one complained that the Earth was "underpopulated" in the 1950's. 5 Billion people on Earth was just fine then, and 9 Billion was considered "unsustainable" and the END OF LIFE from starvation.
I honestly think the biggest issue is women nowadays are way too picky and have over inflated egos and self evaluations. 5s out here thinking they're 10s to put it bluntly.
And let me guess, you're a perfect 10 ,right? I mean ...looks, charisma humour, great social life and activities..? You see how i didn't eveb get to the financial part? That's right. Because for a great woman, that comes second,but for an only fans model that a person like you is unsuccsessfully always trying to score - it comes first. And since you can't score what you think you are worthy of(therefore entitled to have) , thus the bitterness and resentful attitude - women this women that. Just get real and honest and start by looking in the mirror first before pointing fingers.
And let me guess,you're a perfect 10,right? Looks, charisma, humour, intelligence and a great social life full of activities. Did you notice how i didn't even mention the financial part? That's right. Because for a great woman that part comes second, but for an OF model that men like you are unsuccsessfully always trying to get, it comes first. And since you can't have what you think you are worthy of (thus entitled to have) , you start being resentful and frustrated. Just start by getting real and looking in the mirror first, before pointing fingers.
Ghosting is not a modern form of communication, ignoring and avoiding are other words for it, not all have learned it properly, particularly receiving it. But with modern communication methods and often large population in the area then easier to be used "successfully". In general it means "I'm not interested anymore, telling you is only waste of time for us both, where you probably want to talk about it to try undo it or say something you think are hurtful in spite or giving you the feel you is the one in control." As all communication it can be used "wrongly", ghosting is often to be used in short acquaintances, or if know the other will try create drama and probably have been given obvious clues in advance.
i just can't get back into dating. I've tried but I'm tapping out. 42, been single 14ish years and haven't had sex since 2019. not worth the effort. I go to the gym 4 days a week, do sports, have a great carrer bought a house. There's an ever present void in my all of the time and that natural drive to want a partner can be crushing at times. closed my FB dating profile a week or 2 ago. don't think i'll go back. Great video and hit a lot of points. I've read David M. Buss' books as well and they're great for giving you insight into the drives behind mate selection. it's always great to hear a womans perspective though so thanks for a great video!
What can I say, time to get a motorcycle or two, haha. I have not given up yet, but since the last drama queen Im really hesitant to risk my high income, comfortable, fun and problem free life :)
Thank you Roni for posting an excellent video. I have many take aways from this video and look fwd to hearing more. As an experienced online dater, i believe your analysis is spot on & resonates so truthfully. Best to you.
Well done Roni! I have always wondered why the “polyamorous/non-monogamy” guys always leave out jealousy when they cite evolutionary psychology to make their points. Jealousy is deeply embedded in the most primitive part of our brains precisely to motivate men and women to protect their families. Only the jealous man made sure the kids his wife was having were his. Over the generations, jealousy would be reinforced. Likewise, the jealous female made sure that his efforts and resources would be spent on her and the children. We are only here because our ancestors were jealous. I’m so glad you touched on oxytocin. The power of the function of our biochemistry cannot be overstated. No amount of ignorant philosophy will ever change how that works. Additionally, an even larger factor in connection and attachment is a massively important concept of interpersonal neurobiology. To me, that is at the core of the pain of a breakup. Learning about psychology and caring about your relationships is a great way to foster healthy neurology and the rest of your health will follow. And lastly, everyone should study stoicism as close to the source as possible, such as the meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Men in particular can really benefit from it. I can assure you that Stoicism will by no means distance you from your emotional sensitivity. In fact, I believe it enhances it. Being human is an emotional experience from moment to moment until it’s over. PS your video on Marxism was one of the best I’ve seen, excellent work!
there is a rumor that women from places where they don't have TV or watch TV the outcomes are better, but if you bring them back to an area with orwell's viewing screen things go downhill pretty fast.
It's crazy to me to look at ancient or primitive peoples (who struggled to even feed themselves, treat their illnesses, or respect each other as humans) and think "We should emulate them. We should be polygamous." Western civilization, the one that brought the largest exponential improvements to all areas of life (law, technology, ethics, medicine, and more) has always been monogamous. It may be weird, but it works. Don't fix it if it ain't broke.
This video is incredibly informative and well organized for the sheer quantity of knowledge you provided. I think that there are a lot of jaded men who experienced the negative side of female nature (as I have, I get it), and videos like these attract comments from the worse part of those men. Hating the video because they hate all women. Without a doubt, making a conscious effort in understanding the sexes and their differences through videos like these is what helps us begin taking the correct steps to healthy philosophies and attitudes toward eachother in romance.
yep, my wife for example for the last few years makes double of what I make. However she works 80+ hours a week, comes home only to sleep, almost doesn't see our kids anymore. Before she stayed home, was working on her degree and I worked every day to support the family. Now I work from home full time, take care of the house and the kids. But now she is miserable and resents me for making less than her. Sickening ..
"You can only become everything you were meant to be within the framework of a healthy relationship." This is a great example of Begging the Question (asserting the conclusion as a premise).
I studied for 3 years and failed miserable in my early 20s and during that time i started to retreat from society and any social gatherings and never even started dating. Now at 32 i have no experience in any romantic interaction with woman or even talking (how to show interest) and never kissed anyone and never touched anyone besides a handshake or hug. So for me its one mistake, never trying due to insecurity lack of self confidence and self hatred.
No new information here, but it is nice to see more and more women understand. You are young, and married, and it seems you put this knowledge into action. Your husband seems to be a happy man, and you seem to be happy too. God bless you and your family.
I have been unemployed for a while now (my decision) and have really delved deep into the world of podcasts. I can tell you that what you are doing is quite unique and refreshing - despite tackling trendy topics, you do it from a particular angle. Needless to say that being a woman, your anti-feminist content brings an added value that is hard to be found elsewhere (although it seems to be gaining traction thanks to some of the ladies you mentioned here in your podcast). I have already shared some of your episodes with my (pseudo)feminist girl-friends. Living in Eastern Europe, a former warzone to be precise, I can tell you that dating is a bit easier since feminism hasn't caught on yet, but I see it with younger folks and I do not like it. It becomes even more bizarre since they are using anglicisms to describe notions that do not even exist in our daily reality here, since we were a former communist country and women got "promoted" into legal and social equality way sooner, faster and in a top-down manner. I am afraid the modern American culture will ruin us all everywhere, despite me living in a quite anti-American or at least not a pro-American country (since the US bombed us 25 years ago). I am worried about the future of our civilization, but thanks to your effort and the like-minded people, we might have a chance. Please keep up the good work. And good luck.
We in LV have the same USA "feminism" importing what is funny, because we already had equal rights for women and that circus is not working, a feminist here is like a curse word for both genders.
The honey moon effect passes away, true. But as life goes and you're getting older, everything slowly vanishes. Whatever the subject, the object, you'll get used to. Less and less wonders, less and less surprises. This excitingly awesome house you bought in your 20s has become "just your home". A new thing is only new until the next time. It is what I use to call the "seen it all" effect. Time erodes everything. Passion turns into love, love into affection, affection into respect. The hardest being not to mistake the "seen it all" with synical.
I'am a 38 year old dude and I never want a relationship let alone get married. The older I get the more I realize how hugely overrated it all is. Once you used to being along and for me its been 15 years then thats all you want, I can't be bothered with it anymore. I just want to be left alone now.
Be authentication , but timing is everything. Wait a few dates until you both are comfortable with each other before you start asking serious questions
Yes, I am very interested to hear more about the unconscious psychology of attraction. You state the unconscious collective image of our caregivers when we were young. Now that I am older, I have found it to be so strong...and true! Please make a video on this topic. Great content!
Some things just don’t change. Too many people have problems with others peoples sexual interactions, and look too little at their own personal needs. Get it in your head, love knows no jealousy!
I've been alone since I lost my fiancée, six years ago. We spent a whole life together. I woke to a terrible world and society. People, instead of meeting each other in real life, treat each other as chunks of meat. Everybody lives tied to a screen... more and more people are alone and/or feel lonely (me included) I despise nowadays world so much... Things are quite hairy in Spain, and totally terrible to form a couple here, believe me.
Again, it all comes to sincerity and friendship first. True story: the couple were together for years before marriage. After they finally returned from their honeymoon travel, she said to her friends: "I don't know this man". Sad. Very sad. Personaly, it is about loving her "soul" first. Loving her nature and her imperfections. However, it is also a matter of luck, perhaps "destiny", to meet right person.
I totally disagree with professional photos on a dating site. Men could ask their sister or a friend’s partner to help them take a few decent photos on their phone in a casual setting.
Correction regarding monogamy. Even tribal peoples today have polygamy. But polygamy comes in two versions, parallel and serial and many fail to see a series of relationships which are monogamous in the current relationships is still multiple marriages/relationships. What has changed is that with divorce as it is today marriage and relationships are a mess more than ever. And to make matters worse, those who get divorced will likely do it again and again. This means they will become a greater part of the dating pool as the years go by.
As a white man I only have relationships of any type with white women and possibly east Asian women but even then I'd rather preserve my race, as I suggest the Japanese do the same
2:50 Gonna throw my theory out there before I hear it. My theory is: Long term is fishing in a short term pond Short term is fishing in a long term pond But all the fish look the exact same Also, short term “fish” are great at “blending in”. 7:12 you should look into “Alfred Kinsey”. Thank him for that starting point. 9:00 before I hear the rest of this part, they don’t have AC though so I don’t wanna hear it because the growth doesn’t exist whenever it was the case. 9:45 and then you break it down, thank you lol
I noticed a lot of TH-camrs I watch for other things are now talking about modern dating for views and to perpetuate their own agenda. You almost cannot get away from the dating discussion. I am not scared of marriage and dating. As I a guy, I feel there’s a social pressure for men to sleep around to find a relationship or love too. It’s a big green flag for a guy if he’s desired by many women. An easy metric for that is their body count. Women might not want promiscuous a guy, but they don’t want a guy with little to no sexual partners. I have seen a lot of men get more success in finding someone once they start getting serious relationships or sex. So I think to some extent when we tell guys not to put women on a pedestal and be too nice, we are telling just go get laid by any means necessary. It’s not a liberal and conservative thing either. I have a some of conservative and religious friends who have participated hookup culture or dated people for selfish reasons. I don’t think it’s intentional, it’s just how extensive these dating trends are. Most women with my values marry young. I wish I tried harder in college and early graduate school, but I was shy. Thought, I still struggle with it to this day. I didn’t expect to do so good my college first year and I really wanted to keep it. It got hard and I am not sure if graduate school was a smart choice.
3:25 if marriage is not an outdated system, then saving yourself for marriage is also not outdated. You have to be fair in this agreement. For the most part, you're spot on.
I just don't feel like dating is the best use of my time. I prefer to just go out and do things, and if I make friends along the way, that's awesome. Maybe, if I met someone that I thought would make a good life partner, I would have to reckon with what "dating" specifically would look like. But I don't "date" to meet someone. I choose to meet people first, get to know what they're about and what drives them, before considering anything more.
"A woman who asserts herself, who has ambitions and strives for independence, often finds herself criticized, or marginalized, as her assertiveness is perceived as a challenge to male supremacy." Simone Beauvoir A person who asserts themself, who has ambitions and strives for independence, often finds themself criticized, or marginalized, as their assertiveness is perceived as a challenge to others, and the status quo. Fixed it. And all I had to do was take out the self-indulgent victim mentality.
I dont understand the paradox of choice at all. When shopping I highly enjoy going through 50 options and assessing the best option. And I am even more satisfied with my choice because I spent time making the assessment. I think the only reason people would be unsatisfied is if they dont actually spend time making a logical assessment
Love the video and format. I'm a big fan of studying evolutionary psychology to understand the current modern context we are in RE: relationships. Your points touched on a lot of them and I generally agree with all of them. One thing I think that could be added to the natural behavior of hypergamy is that hypergamy is a universal truth, an instinct really. And women's hypergamous behavior is determined by the environment within which they are placed. For example, for 2 million years in nomadic hunter gatherer tribes, women had a mating choice of 50 men or less. Now, women have a device in their hand that connects them 3 billion+ men. So the criteria women have for men is much higher because even a small town girl that is average, will be able to find a man somewhere in the world to fly her out for a sexual dalliance in exchange for some kind of resources. This ripples through other areas of your video, such as the choice paradox and the difficulty men have in getting matches on dating apps. Keep up the good work! Your messaging is so important. It would be interesting to do a video on how men and women have become very polorized politically, women leaning more liberal, and men more conservative and tying that human nature.
Who is the guy @1:30 and where can I find more of his content? He is spot on about phones and social media. Both are designed to create an addiction and a desire for empty validation.
I barely dated but i saw enough when i was younger. It was already toxic as hell but there wree still a large group of young, average women who thought they wanted to grt married. They were the neediest, clingyest, stupidest questions, pre conceived expectations, nervous, cant talk about anything. I found women to be remarkably devoid of knowledge of anything. It was so ego driven. Some dates felt like she was there to act a part for a tv episode. It all felt like nobody knew what they were doing and both of us are trying to follow some unwritten handbook on dating. Nowadays, i dont even get past texting. I used to text girls endlessly wasting so much time talking about nothing working twoards the date with all these required steps and checkpoints. Now its like 3 sentences in im like k were not compatible we want totally different things from eachother we arent here for the same reason so peace out.
Two things, celebrating 27 years of marriage next week. A good marriage is still hard and requires work, but is well worth it. I was 27 and she was 23. I feel sorry for those dating today. It's a sewer. Which comes to my second point, for a biblical take on it, read 1 Timothy 4:1-5. It describes 2 things, we see both happening and this toxic dating culture is pushing the second one
Generally I like to be around happy, content and sensible women who are not overly influenced by popular culture. How delusional would I have to be to think I can keep another adult human being happy, content and engaged over many decades? And what is the cost of failure? A man's got to know his limits.
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
As a relatively young person in the family I am often asked during family gatherings what happened to dating and relationships why are majority of you youngsters single now? I often don't know what to say because it's a long story with multiple different factors. I think your video is a great summary of what the problems of dating are currently. It's pretty balanced and at least you didn't say it's men's fault like a lot of others did. So I think this is a good video to send to those people who ask "what happened to dating".
It's far more womans issues (feminism is a feminine ideology made to cater to women, and women bought in hard) and it's not most men's jobs to fix that, it's smart women's jobs to fix that shit, they won't listen to men anyway, we either lawfare it out of public discussion or have e women fight it ideologically with another feminine ideology that actually benefits women (and not feminists).
And either way, a lot of men are already fighting feminism that's what red pill is about, it's about recognition of the roots of some of the issues (things like hypergamy, dating apps, hook up culture, etc) and the willingness for men to step away and from stepping away wake women up and talking about how both men and women can fix the problem, men by going thier own way, and improving themselves, and women by recognizing feminism is toxic, hypergamy and feminine bullying is stopping them from finding partners, and that sleeping around isnt doing anything good for them. All of that is redpill
Men are done getting married, especially those with resources. A large majority of women abused the privilege.
Pe'dowood su'cks.
Unless you address what so many hor'rible women are doing to men with the court system, you are being bias.
Graduated as a undergrad one weekend and got married the next weekend. I was 23 she was 33 been married 30+ years. Lost her to Alzheimer's/ dementia. We were loyal to each other the entire time. Now I am starting all over. God I miss my best friend, my wife.
What a beautiful marriage and I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻 I’ve lost quite a few family members to Alzheimer’s and it is brutal. I’m wishing you much love and peace of mind on the road ahead my friend ♥️
I’m sorry for your loss. To start over make sure she is a virgin and best if she has no college (divorce) schooling.
@@ronifouks
Why should men pay from first date.. Why dont women make men sandwich from the first date.. Or give him a BJ on first date.. You seem like a gynocentric women..or women first mentality
@@davedsilva Appreciate the idea. I am 58. So am I just looking at a 40+ virgins. Would be very interesting to understand why she is a virgin. FYI My wife / soulmate was married before before I married her. Absolutely the best thing ever for my life. Thanks for an idea, had not thought about it.
@@TheDWZemkeVirginity is necessary these days for pair bonding, otherwise it's just your turn. I'm around your age, and was surprised 20 year old virgins look to me seriously, driven by their fantasizing for a daddy-husband. But I only rotate 20 year old 304s where they love being side chicks to avoid ruining any good girl. The key is to talk Chad romance novel scenes like 50 Shades and they go nuts. Be the Chad Gentleman.
One thing that would have been good to mention during segment 1 about negative messaging around marriage is the fear men have of the family court system. A sizable chunk of millennial and gen z men have seen what our fathers, uncles, siblings, etc went through with an ugly divorce or child custody battle and choose to avoid marriage to protect themselves. After all, nothing encourages marriage more than a broken or bitter relative repeatedly warning you to never get married to avoid what they went through. /s
It’s not mentioned for a reason
It's why I won't marry. My father's ex wife stole everything from the family. Moved in with a new guy. And left her children to starve. She of course took custody. My father killed himself due to her actions. And us kids were left with this evil witch who allowed her new husband to rape my little sister. She just turned a blind eye. She liked that he had money that's all that mattered to her.
Anyways. Many years later she divorced him too. Took much of his wealth. Well done mom. You cunt.
That part^
You shouldn't get married for marriage's sake. If it i a bad deal for either side in the contract, then that side has a reason to avoid agreeing to it. When chances of success are worse than a coin flip, it is time to reevaluate things and those men are smart to warn the next guy to prevent them from making a mistake.
Eventually you'll come back, hope you aren't too old by then
There is a vast difference between an uncomfortable conversation and a talk where your partner constantly weaponizes your past mistakes and transgressions to justify terrible treatment of you.
Wonder how I learned that….. 😐
Surely it couldn't have been through interactions with the angelic light-beings sometimes known as human females...
@@Doberman_6773 🤣
yeah. I wish I'd had the awareness and maturity to identify and respond to this kind of behavior in a healthy, self-protective way from the beginning. Not a fun experience. I wonder how common it is.
@@Olethros0157 I’m sure my responses were increasingly awful….but it’s like a human repeatedly slapping a tiger…..
Absolutely it hard out there
You mentioned men should pay on the first date. My 2c. Dating with regards to restaurants etc has only really been around since the 1950s. Men paying for it really just started from that point. Prior to that courting was much more about reciprocation. A man would visit a woman's household but he would also be given a meal and a demonstration of how well she could manage a household, A man would be expected to show how well he could manage his life. For example he might bring the meat for the meal a woman prepares, if he was a blacksmith he would bring something he had made etc. What's missing in today's dating is that act of reciprocation. I take a woman on a date, I pay yet I get nothing in return. That first date sets up the basis for the rest of the relationship. Responsibility without reward or authority. Now I am NOT saying the reward should be sex. But ladies, if you do not show reciprocation, you are not marriage material. Now the easiest way is either to go halves or pay for something else like drinks or the show ticket prices etc. One girl (who I later married) every date I paid for the next date she made a meal or prepared a picnic for us.
Dr Orion Taraban wrote an excellent book on this very topic "The value of others: understanding the economics of relationships". In short, he says relationships are a value exchange. Both people have to get equal value from the relationship. If not, one of the parties will feel like they are getting taken advantage of.
The problem with men paying for first dates is that it has been abused by women, to go on a date to get a meal, and then split.
These women have zero interesting in these dates they go out, just to get a good free meal. If you ask them why, they feel entitled to the meal.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 "Both people have to get equal value from the relationship." - Men get the pure joy of being in the presence of the angelic light-being that is the human female. What could possibly have as much value as that?
One could argue that she gave you the opportunity for a date, because she has enough to choose so it is already spending her value time with you.
And since our goals today, usually are not cooking and crafting anymore, but are more about character, you are kind of equal at the dating table…
But I get you, if I feel like I’m expected to pay just out of principle, then she lost already 20 points .
I have stop dating multiple women after I gave them a little hint that they could offer to share the bill, so I might decline if I thought she behaved well on our date, and the ones who did not respond on purpose or made that I want me to pay, got sorted out.
I know from a friend dated a girl who was very vehemently arguing that the man has to pay for her time and she would kind of pay back by then giving gifts later, who still wanted him to pay hundreds for activities after he explained that he has no job right now, but she did 🤯
@@dunar1005one could also argue that the world is flat.
Hate to say it, but just because you are an exception to the rules by getting married through Bumble doesn’t mean we can all sidestep the landscape and just choose to be in your shoes. I have always been authentic, intentional, honest, caring and as much fun as possible.. can you guess how that ended up for me EVERY SINGLE TIME? Not only do I get dumped or cheated on but then I have to live the shame of being called “weak” for desiring a real relationship and that it’s my fault for chasing them off. I don’t care what anybody says anymore.. it has been proven to me beyond the shadow of any doubt that women are disgusted by decent men.
This was relatively well balanced that didn't put all of the blame on men as is our cultural norm. What was left out was the legal system. It's not a no fault divorce system. It's a his fault divorce system in which who ever accepts traditional masculine responsibilities with masculine sacrifices will be exploited by the legal system. This creates a situation in which women bounce on marriage when ever they are bored or tempted by another option.
As an example of our his fault divorce system, I did a meetup group hike two weeks ago in which there was one man who hasn't seen his kids since December 2022 and another man who spent the previous weekend in jail because he got laid off and his amazon delivery money wasn't enough to allow him to eat and pay the $2,500 per month lifetime alimony. He foolishly stayed legally married to an abusive women so that her and their kids and her kids could have medical insurance. Now he is paying for that self sacrifice with lifetime alimony that he owes even during retirement. This means he needs to work until death or he goes back to jail.
I haven't seen my oldest 4 kids in 9 years. I spoke briefly to my oldest (now 18) he basically hates me and drank all of the koolaid his sociopathic mother gave him. Fuk these marriages and relationships. If I do relationship again it will hopefully be with someone in another county
I honestly thought I was done with dating, when I got married in the late 90s. We were young, but both of us knew it was meant to be, and it was. I do not have the bitter divorce story of so many people. We said our vows, "Until death do us part," and meant it. The only problem is that I assumed we would be both old and grey when that happened.
So, now, here I am, in my late 40s, facing the prospect of dating again. My wife passed nearly 3 years ago and I am slightly reluctant to get out there again. The world of dating has drastically changed since I was last in it. Plus, even without the technological changes, dating in your 40s is different than dating in your teens and early 20s, when I last participated. While both my sons are grown young adults, most women in my dating pool are going to be divorced, and, likely, will still have children at home. If am going to be brutally honest, I raised my kids, and loved every minute of it, but I am done with that and don't want to do it again. I would prefer if my next interaction with children was when I have grandchildren.
Well said sir
I would point out that a man in his 40’s doing well for himself and in good shape can be attractive even to late 20’s and 30’s women. As a man you’re not restricted to 40 old women.
Honestly I wouldn't go for any women who use online dating or actively use social media. The odds she wrongly thought men wanted anything more than low effort sex is scary high. And since we know men select down for hook ups, it causes women to experience men outside their commitment range and that'll make it near impossible to appreciate or be aroused by men on their level. This is a much larger issue than anyone is willing to accept.
She did say top 10% of men get 80% of the online women attention
Depends who you are and where u are in life. Sorry forgot 6’ or more 6 pack, 6 figures
@@capncrush6729its not 80/10 or 80/20 its 100/5
@@wisdomandy9361 I never thought about that perspective. Thanks for the insight
The much larger issue that no one seems to accept at all is in fact that most men only really aim at women who are way beyond their level (usually looks). It's the men that are sickening society with always wanting what thay cannot have, and that's usually preetty girls/beautiful women. Why don't you follow your own stream of thinking, get honest about how you look and what you can offer and start choosing according to YOUR level ?
I am dating the same woman for 2 years and she still says thank you any meal I pay for and tells me she appreciates everything thing I do for her 🌹❤️
The problem, for me, is honestly, i just
don't care at all. I'm done. And delighted with my singleness.
Alone, but not lonely.
If you are really done, what are you doing here?
People cant be "done" with dating and listen to someones take about dating? So married people shouldn't watch this either?
@@leebishop7591 It is not a matter of CAN or CAN NOT, it is a matter of consistency. If you see a video like that it is because deep there you still have some hope.
I would try dating foreign women. I would totally agree with dating Western women unless if you find a diamond in the rough or you get married young It's pretty much garbage now but there is still a couple billion pretty awesome women around the world that have very good attitudes much more conservative and to keep themselves in good shape.
I respect your perspective! It’s empowering to embrace singleness and prioritize self-contentment. Just make sure to stay open to new experiences and connections when the time feels right. While being alone can be fulfilling, you might find joy in unexpected friendships or relationships that add to your happiness.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being straightforward and clear with your intentions. Casual, intentional or otherwise.
You have to play the game, being straightforward won't get you what you want, learn to speak the language of women
You will not get sex from almost all women if you be direct. You have to dance.
True, I rent a room in a two story house, when lonely I go downstairs and hug the first person I find, and exhale. Uhmm.
whats wrong is if the guy treats her seriously and makes it clear he wants to marry her, the girl gets put off and goes for the guy who doesnt care about her, she should be like 'great this guy isnt just going to sleep with me, hes a good guy i should be with him' but that isnt what happens IRL, the guy who ignores them they sre attracted to, something is seriously wrong with them, i dont expect them to like the loser who wants them bad, but if a nice guy good looking comes along and gives them the impression he is serious they get turned off.
That happened to me. Broke my heart. She had a really rough childhood and bad relationship experiences. My therapist thinks she "love bombed" me. Showered me with affection so I would be really into her and give her loads of attention and affection back. She did this to feel good about herself. To feel like she is wanted and desired. But then she got her fill and moved on to someone else. Without telling me. My therapist suggested that she might not feel like she deserves to be treated well. That's why she ends things.
Dating is just not worth it. Too much risk and too many bad experiences
"Modern Dating" is so bad; because the laws (and culture) incentivize (and glorify) short-term relationships.
I will die alone before I fall for a marketing scheme where I am commodifying myself alongside a bunch of sociopaths. (Use dating apps or social media.)
Incredibly well put, I read your comment three times and I appeal to the channel creator to pin your words right below the video. Goes without saying I second your thoughts.
I am 53 and I stopped dating 7 years ago. If you wait until you're older, you mainly meet people with mounds of baggage. It's to the point that dating doesn't sound even fun in the least.
Back when I was in high school and university, it was exciting. There was so many great attitudes. No one had really started their lives, and picked up their adult life.
We as a species will one day have to getting dating offline and have people meet and mingle in local areas. Stop having all the women chase all the percieved great guys through online dating, that gets them ran through, bitter and man-hating.
They do, and the diseases, I stopped same time, had met a gal at a speed dating but she using me for sex while I use her for comfort, I figure may as well let my heart get broke one last time, felt great because I knew that was probably it for me.
They KNOW the men they're sleeping with are seeing other women. They're buying lottery tickets, hoping that by sleeping with the 9, that she'll be the lucky 6 to hold him down. Or she's delusional and thinks she's a 10 and that she's the one saying no to all the 9s and when she's done having fun she'll "let" one of them take care of her for the rest of her life.
Been married, divorced, and now single again. While I appreciate the positive message of this video espousing the benefits of marriage, in TODAY'S WORLD, marriage is a very bad deal for the vast majority of men. MAYBE a few decades or a few generations in the future, things might change, but for now marriage is a bad deal for men. I would strongly advise men young and old to avoid marriage. Date as much as you can. Fall in love. Have long meaningful relationships, but do not sign that legal contract of marriage. Somewhere along in the marriage, the benefits of marriage evaporate. The intimacy and caring and even sex disappears. You may be left with a grumpy bitter aging woman who is nothing like the wife you married. The inevitable divorce will deplete you of the money and resources you sacrificed and worked for a lifetime. Skip all that pain and expense and disappointment.
True. The law is completely on the side of the woman. If you're absolutely dead sure what you're doing, do get married. Otherwise, no way.
@@earx23 everybody thinks they are 100% sure about getting married. That's why they do it. Unfortunately, most are wrong.
@@explorermike19 50%
@@earx23 50% of marriages end in divorce, but many people are miserable in their marriage and stay married.
What’s the point of sterile relationships you are promoting as an alternative to marriage? If there’s no possibility of a relationship leading to the formation of a healthy family, then i'd rather stay celibate.
Phenylethylamine production ceases in 75% of women in relationships at around the 18 month to 2 year mark. That time period is the only statistically significant factor. Less than 20% of men ceased production in the course of the 5 year study. The "natural" loss of interest in sex that you are partially describing is only natural for women. With no guarantee of continued sexual supply after that - almost guaranteed - loss of interest and no social contract to protect men from not having their own needs while still being expected to meet all of hers.... Combine that with universal social messaging that women should tap out of their relationship as soon as they are unhappy while men who do so are scum and I think you've got some deeper challenges to face if you want to rebuild faith in long term relationships for men.
One more little objection. The belief that men sort women into 2 groups is very problematic. Men sort women into 3 groups. Those we would consider viable for a long term relationship, those we would have casual sex with and, by far the largest group, those with whom we would never be interested in either. The fact that you can't conceptualize that a man might not be delighted to have sex with any woman who wants him is classic rape culture.
Men also lose interest in physical intimacy too. See "The Coolidge Effect". I agree with your point around pro-divorce culture and people unnecessarily divorcing to protect the kids from an unhappy marriage. This is very problematic for relationship stability but millions of men keep getting married every year, and there are plenty of unmarried simps who want to get married.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Thanks. I had already clearly acknowledged that a percentage of men lose interest - 20% over the course of the 5 year study - to be exact. The answer to both of your points is "rates" which are always more important than absolute numbers. For example 75% is much larger than 20% . While there are still plenty of people getting married the marriage rate is steeply declining while the percentage of young men not looking for a relationship at all has leapt about 10% in less than 2 years. If you want babies being born to support you when you retire (and you really should) then these rates of change should scare you.
Phenylethlamine? Can that be be taken through pill or liquid to help boost it? I swear I’ve seen that supplement around
@@brianmeen2158 Hadn"t occurred to me but I don"t see why not, in theory. It is, after all, just another amphetamine... And because of that anyone selling it as a supplement could get a visit from the DEA any time now. Also, if legality doesn't bother you, you might as well just take ecstacy, it has the same general effect on your desire to rub yourself on things.
When I googled rape culture the definition is a society that normalizes rape and abuse as acceptable. If this is the society I live in, it’s funny that I’ve never seen that messaging. All I have ever seen is that rape is wrong and not tolerated.
I cannot see the connection between leaving out one category of women, women a man not interested in period, and rape culture. I agree there is that 3’rd category, but cannot see how leaving that category out implies rape culture.
I think she left that third category out because she was talking about women men have interest in and how men categories those women. In that context, the third category is irrelevant.
38:03 Im sick and tired of hearing women saying men should pay for a person they dont know. Why? Is your time worth more than mine? Men and women are equal now, so how about we drop the cherry picked traditions of old? Women expecting me to pay, does not make me feel chivalrous, it makes me feel "lesser than" and that I am paying for their presence. Lets normalize splitting the bill on the first 3 dates, then we can talk about men taking care of their partners.
And another note: Female "fuck boys" also exist, for whatever reason the dating apps are swarmed with women who are just looking for sex, which I am not.
PREACH! 🙌
Thank you! You have articulated a double standard that I have been trying to point out for years. I've never understood how women have been able to argue that their time is so much more valuable than ours. Objectively not true.
Wow. This is the most insightful, spot-on take on everything that is wrong with today's dating scene that I've ever seen. I think your advice for using dating apps is spot-on, too. Appearances are important--but not everything. There is a reason why we wear our best suits to a job interview, but it's ultimately our skills that get us the job. Thanks!
The work-out part we men have control of. The job part? Highly dependent on the local economy whether positions are available or not (mostly not in many places within North America). That part's not always our fault.
Roni, thank you for explaining the problems with dating. I am an older man who finds it difficult to find a mate after a 4 yr relationship.
Women can have sex and not worry about being forced to support a child. Men can't. Discrimination based on sex is illegal. This is a Human Rights issue. Men's Rights matter.
Can you get a relationship? Mostly, no. Can you keep a relationship should you happen to get one? Also, mostly no. (Do prenuptial agreements work? Mostly, no...)
I was baffled as to why anyone would post a video at 6am until I realized you're in Tel Aviv. לילה טוב!
Good catch! It’s 6:30am here now 😊
בוקר טוב!
I'm living overseas in Asia. It seems like 98% of women on dating sites there are hookers. Lots of fake profiles too: "I'm single... I'm looking for serious...", but if you contact them, they tell you that they are actually just 'looking for customers'... Are many women just out to sell themselves these days?? - So frustrating... 😢
Marriage absolutely deserves the negative messaging it gets. It needs an overhaul badly
I’m a 60 y/o guy. Divorced for 17 yrs and pretty much single since. Not my choice on the divorce. I want to be in a compatible, committed relationship but I despise dating.
I have absolutely no desire to go through the dating bullshit. I do not trust women’s intentions. So it looks like I’ll will be alone from here on out. Sucks but it’s safer
I am 36. Same story. But no marriage. Before system's penalize women for divorcing. It will be encouragement for divorce. Right call buddy. Its best if you pay Escorts for social interactions. No. Commitment but you'll have a person.
You don't ask a fish for advice on how to fish. This "be authentic and be yourself" stuff will leave you alone as woman after woman walks away as they lose what little attraction they had to begin with. That is a fact. If you really want to torpedo your changes, let her know up front you want marriage. She will look for a man that is likely "better' because he has options and isn't worried about settling down. Often times, women look to each other to know what they want because they can't figure it out on their own. Reread my last sentence and you get the picture of what is going on...
That is probably the best thing she said. Problem is if you don't know what "be authentic and be yourself" means? What does it mean to you?
"You don't ask a fish..." Indeed. And on top of that, some fish will say "We are protected by the great white shark who will eat you alive if you dare fish in our waters!"
I think a strategy I should take being 35 years old - is to start regularly going to activities like yoga, salsa, running/hiking groups, and anything where I can naturally also meet women. But still just enjoy the activities. And then make new friends. Just make it a habit, and it will naturally expand social circles.
I don't consider online, it's inadequate. Or bars/clubs and similar places.
Anyone with a "hookup" mentality is always full of insecurities and issues. I just want to meet normal people, and see each other as people first.
I did try that strategy when I lived in the city in America The problem was any single woman that I have for found that was into any of that stuff was very left-wing I mean like universally It's very weird I'm sure there are some women out there I just never came across them who were a political or just normal people. I suggest dating foreign woman since the vast majority of women in the world are not in America or the West in the vast majority of them are not caught up in our weird politics and like traditional roles. Worked wonders for me
Great advice, thank you ❤
Most women by 35 are ran through and disgusting.. why bother the older you get?
This video has taught me alot. As I watched it and learned I realized that I am such a jackass to my first partner. I never truely understood what she was going through and I acted so stupid. I feel like I ruined her and set her on a path of self destruction. And the worst part is I can't even tell her how much I fucked up.
"Yes, it is important to enjoy the ride that is life, but that does not mean we should chase a life of narcissistic self gratification."
Brilliant.
You didn’t give much of an explanation of why the guy should pay.
Frankly, it’s rather parasitic that women expect men to pay.
Exactly !
Find the one who does not expect it, they are not all the same
It's called being a gentleman.. Let me guess, you believe that opening a door is degrading, right?
@@Aleksas-oj1biDid you even read Manana’s comment?
@Your reply contained no explanation. Just entitlement.
Once you truly understand vvomen, you will never ever be able to love again.
The manosphere and social media exposed the dark side of vvhamen‘s nature
Men are waking up and vvomen are terrified!
Nothing wrong with modern dating, it's modern women that's the problem, even if you have the best of the best which I do, it's a daily emotional roller coaster,
@@bassw1758 Reminds me of all those classic Hollywood films where the man just slaps the woman and everything goes on like, “yeah, I had that coming….gonna behave now. Thank you, sir.”
Notice how you are villainized. Jealous women will destroy her, hence the rollercoaster ride.
It’s ridiculous to only blame one gender for modern dating. Anyone that takes a deep dive into why we are at this point would come out blaming both sexes
@@brianmeen2158 that’s because feminism is only enforceable by men.
I tend to agree 🙌
It's the second video that i watched till the end. Thanks for the time you have took from your real life to post your perspectives, despite being far from perfect ,for me they have one of the most accurate depictions of today's dating culture matters.
Shall we be honest here. Most women end relationships and cheat! Men just want peace and normal behavior. How does this illude you?
Exactly, wize men know modern women don't qualify and are not worth the risks. Hoflation.
Thank you for putting this much effort in your videos, really enjoying them!
I believed as you do when I was younger. Went to college, got a good job, got married, bought a big house, got it *paid off*, had a child. When my son was 3 my wife wanted a divorce. Had to sell the house. But I didn't give up, found a new wife, raised my son in joint custody. But pretty much the same thing happened again. And I know people who believe in marriage so much that they've done all that as much as 4 times! But I've given up. I have several ladies who enjoy my company and appreciate my support but are fairly independent. I message each of them when I feel like seeing them. Occasionally they message me. We get together when we want to. I do what I feel like doing all the time. I'm much happier. Marriage may be good for society, but it's horrible for the individual. And like anything that's good for society but bad for the individual (taxes for example) in order to exist it will have to be enforced with an iron fist. It's not going to be something people do voluntarily.
Those last 2 sentences are spot-on; I expect bachelor taxes (which will be distinct from higher taxes for singles) before too much longer. Somebody's gotta be the pay-pig.
The wrong marriage is horrible for the person, the right marriage will literally make your life. Selecting an appropriate partner is difficult, but today peoples minds are broken because we have no patience, and we're all to self-centered.
I am a man and I found this video enlightening, even though most of what you said should be obvious. The part about how woman bond a lot more strongly with sex and yet refuse to admit to it to themselves, actually blew my mind.
Also, I feel like I have rarely seen a comment section as toxic as this one. Might be because you are trying to put responsibility on frustrated internet men.
I thought there was pretty much an agreement that dating was a bad idea.
Dating is prostitution.
Another great video 👍
I've been trying to find a female TH-camr that fully breaks down such topics in order to make the information much more palatable for my female family members. And I'm glad to know that I found you. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comprehensively breaking down these complex topics.
Thanks for this wonderful summary on modern dating! While I agree on many things you say, I am having a problem with the combination of the payment requirement for men @ the first date and your advice for women to let men wait. If I pay the first date, the expectation is I end up paying the second date as well, and the third and the fourth. Unfortunately according to my experience the chance of a long term relationship does not increase with the number of “paid” dates. A NY survey revealed last year that 1/3 of all female participants only come out for the meal they get sponsored and not for the romance. It is hard as a man to differentiate between a woman with honest intentions and traditional expectation - and a “beneficiary” of male goodwill.
I think that the statements within 25:00-30:00 regarding men’s ethical accountability within women making an independent decision to hook up on the first date are misled.
Any man consistently pushing a woman to sleep with him early on despite her hesitance is certainly in the wrong, but positing it - and a woman agreeing in her own desire for him - is nothing to blame any man for. VERY dangerous territory if we are implying that a man ought to be looked down upon for the latter.
This is a really solid analysis. I think it has always been hard for people to be vulnerable and the social scripts of the past helped a lot with that.
I like your well-reasoned, balanced and insightful view of many issues that are very relevant to me. I can ask such questions as “Is feminism really progressive or opportunistic?” or “Is your focus on a man’s work ethic or job title a traditional value or just a shield for the entitlement to be taken care of?” At the end of the day, your views give me greater clarity on my own views which often span the divides of socially liberal and conservative. It’s not that I expect to have it all figured out, but feel more comfortable being authentic and accepting the consequences. And for that I’m grateful to you.
Problems with dating is; 1. Toxic women are running rampant on social media telling women men are no good, useless, unreliable & only good for rss. 2. Dating apps are useless & costly & create a cradle for people to avoid approaching each other in public & social settings. Getting rid of dating apps & women starting to incourage men to approach them, will solve about 90% of the problem IMO
People have stopped talking to each other & need to get back to this social interaction to save the human race... our birth rate has fallen to unsustainable lvls & we won't last as a species if we don't change this dynamic.
No one complained that the Earth was "underpopulated" in the 1950's. 5 Billion people on Earth was just fine then, and 9 Billion was considered "unsustainable" and the END OF LIFE from starvation.
I honestly think the biggest issue is women nowadays are way too picky and have over inflated egos and self evaluations. 5s out here thinking they're 10s to put it bluntly.
And let me guess, you're a perfect 10 ,right? I mean ...looks, charisma humour, great social life and activities..? You see how i didn't eveb get to the financial part? That's right. Because for a great woman, that comes second,but for an only fans model that a person like you is unsuccsessfully always trying to score - it comes first. And since you can't score what you think you are worthy of(therefore entitled to have) , thus the bitterness and resentful attitude - women this women that. Just get real and honest and start by looking in the mirror first before pointing fingers.
And let me guess,you're a perfect 10,right? Looks, charisma, humour, intelligence and a great social life full of activities. Did you notice how i didn't even mention the financial part? That's right. Because for a great woman that part comes second, but for an OF model that men like you are unsuccsessfully always trying to get, it comes first. And since you can't have what you think you are worthy of (thus entitled to have) , you start being resentful and frustrated. Just start by getting real and looking in the mirror first, before pointing fingers.
Ghosting is not a modern form of communication, ignoring and avoiding are other words for it, not all have learned it properly, particularly receiving it. But with modern communication methods and often large population in the area then easier to be used "successfully". In general it means "I'm not interested anymore, telling you is only waste of time for us both, where you probably want to talk about it to try undo it or say something you think are hurtful in spite or giving you the feel you is the one in control." As all communication it can be used "wrongly", ghosting is often to be used in short acquaintances, or if know the other will try create drama and probably have been given obvious clues in advance.
i just can't get back into dating. I've tried but I'm tapping out. 42, been single 14ish years and haven't had sex since 2019. not worth the effort. I go to the gym 4 days a week, do sports, have a great carrer bought a house. There's an ever present void in my all of the time and that natural drive to want a partner can be crushing at times. closed my FB dating profile a week or 2 ago. don't think i'll go back.
Great video and hit a lot of points. I've read David M. Buss' books as well and they're great for giving you insight into the drives behind mate selection. it's always great to hear a womans perspective though so thanks for a great video!
Yeah; more and more of us Resource Pumps are shutting down, and people are starting to notice.
What can I say, time to get a motorcycle or two, haha. I have not given up yet, but since the last drama queen Im really hesitant to risk my high income, comfortable, fun and problem free life :)
@@the_g371go ahead and ask,9/10 it’s most likely not gonna workout but don’t listen to me though, I could be wrong
A great video with a lots of insight into male and female hopesandaspirations, wants and needs and cynicism and disillusions.
Strongly recommended.
Thank you Roni for posting an excellent video. I have many take aways from this video and look fwd to hearing more. As an experienced online dater, i believe your analysis is spot on & resonates so truthfully. Best to you.
Well done Roni! I have always wondered why the “polyamorous/non-monogamy” guys always leave out jealousy when they cite evolutionary psychology to make their points. Jealousy is deeply embedded in the most primitive part of our brains precisely to motivate men and women to protect their families. Only the jealous man made sure the kids his wife was having were his. Over the generations, jealousy would be reinforced. Likewise, the jealous female made sure that his efforts and resources would be spent on her and the children. We are only here because our ancestors were jealous.
I’m so glad you touched on oxytocin. The power of the function of our biochemistry cannot be overstated. No amount of ignorant philosophy will ever change how that works. Additionally, an even larger factor in connection and attachment is a massively important concept of interpersonal neurobiology. To me, that is at the core of the pain of a breakup. Learning about psychology and caring about your relationships is a great way to foster healthy neurology and the rest of your health will follow.
And lastly, everyone should study stoicism as close to the source as possible, such as the meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Men in particular can really benefit from it. I can assure you that Stoicism will by no means distance you from your emotional sensitivity. In fact, I believe it enhances it. Being human is an emotional experience from moment to moment until it’s over.
PS your video on Marxism was one of the best I’ve seen, excellent work!
there is a rumor that women from places where they don't have TV or watch TV the outcomes are better,
but if you bring them back to an area with orwell's viewing screen things go downhill pretty fast.
It's crazy to me to look at ancient or primitive peoples (who struggled to even feed themselves, treat their illnesses, or respect each other as humans) and think "We should emulate them. We should be polygamous." Western civilization, the one that brought the largest exponential improvements to all areas of life (law, technology, ethics, medicine, and more) has always been monogamous. It may be weird, but it works. Don't fix it if it ain't broke.
Absolutely agree 🙏🏻♥️
The white world the cuacasian race Without our structure the world would be still in the medieval periods perhaps ruled by the chinese
This video is incredibly informative and well organized for the sheer quantity of knowledge you provided.
I think that there are a lot of jaded men who experienced the negative side of female nature (as I have, I get it), and videos like these attract comments from the worse part of those men. Hating the video because they hate all women.
Without a doubt, making a conscious effort in understanding the sexes and their differences through videos like these is what helps us begin taking the correct steps to healthy philosophies and attitudes toward eachother in romance.
Marriage is an extremely risky contract for men. I am against Marriage.
yep, my wife for example for the last few years makes double of what I make. However she works 80+ hours a week, comes home only to sleep, almost doesn't see our kids anymore. Before she stayed home, was working on her degree and I worked every day to support the family. Now I work from home full time, take care of the house and the kids. But now she is miserable and resents me for making less than her. Sickening ..
"You can only become everything you were meant to be within the framework of a healthy relationship."
This is a great example of Begging the Question (asserting the conclusion as a premise).
Love Sense by Sue Johnson
I studied for 3 years and failed miserable in my early 20s and during that time i started to retreat from society and any social gatherings and never even started dating. Now at 32 i have no experience in any romantic interaction with woman or even talking (how to show interest) and never kissed anyone and never touched anyone besides a handshake or hug. So for me its one mistake, never trying due to insecurity lack of self confidence and self hatred.
There's nothing for us out here 😂. If you get someone you like and is willing to stick around. Try and stick to them cause its cold in the streets
I don’t know. I liked my last girlfriend a lot, but she was an abusive, ungrateful tyrant to me more often than not.
Being single is better.
Agreed.
Absolutely wonderful video. I couldn't stop watching. Such a refreshing and balanced perspective.
Really happy to hear that! 🙏🏻♥️
I just want to feel like I'm not dating the matrix.
No new information here, but it is nice to see more and more women understand. You are young, and married, and it seems you put this knowledge into action. Your husband seems to be a happy man, and you seem to be happy too. God bless you and your family.
I have been unemployed for a while now (my decision) and have really delved deep into the world of podcasts. I can tell you that what you are doing is quite unique and refreshing - despite tackling trendy topics, you do it from a particular angle. Needless to say that being a woman, your anti-feminist content brings an added value that is hard to be found elsewhere (although it seems to be gaining traction thanks to some of the ladies you mentioned here in your podcast). I have already shared some of your episodes with my (pseudo)feminist girl-friends.
Living in Eastern Europe, a former warzone to be precise, I can tell you that dating is a bit easier since feminism hasn't caught on yet, but I see it with younger folks and I do not like it. It becomes even more bizarre since they are using anglicisms to describe notions that do not even exist in our daily reality here, since we were a former communist country and women got "promoted" into legal and social equality way sooner, faster and in a top-down manner. I am afraid the modern American culture will ruin us all everywhere, despite me living in a quite anti-American or at least not a pro-American country (since the US bombed us 25 years ago). I am worried about the future of our civilization, but thanks to your effort and the like-minded people, we might have a chance.
Please keep up the good work. And good luck.
We in LV have the same USA "feminism" importing what is funny, because we already had equal rights for women and that circus is not working, a feminist here is like a curse word for both genders.
The honey moon effect passes away, true. But as life goes and you're getting older, everything slowly vanishes. Whatever the subject, the object, you'll get used to. Less and less wonders, less and less surprises. This excitingly awesome house you bought in your 20s has become "just your home". A new thing is only new until the next time. It is what I use to call the "seen it all" effect. Time erodes everything. Passion turns into love, love into affection, affection into respect. The hardest being not to mistake the "seen it all" with synical.
Great podcast!
I came across the podcast by chance and couldn't stop listening, though I don't think my girlfriend would be happy to know 'bout it ;)
I'am a 38 year old dude and I never want a relationship let alone get married. The older I get the more I realize how hugely overrated it all is. Once you used to being along and for me its been 15 years then thats all you want, I can't be bothered with it anymore. I just want to be left alone now.
Be authentication , but timing is everything. Wait a few dates until you both are comfortable with each other before you start asking serious questions
Yes, I am very interested to hear more about the unconscious psychology of attraction. You state the unconscious collective image of our caregivers when we were young. Now that I am older, I have found it to be so strong...and true! Please make a video on this topic. Great content!
In the works!!
Some things just don’t change. Too many people have problems with others peoples sexual interactions, and look too little at their own personal needs. Get it in your head, love knows no jealousy!
I really enjoy your videos ! Good job! 👍
I've been alone since I lost my fiancée, six years ago. We spent a whole life together. I woke to a terrible world and society. People, instead of meeting each other in real life, treat each other as chunks of meat. Everybody lives tied to a screen... more and more people are alone and/or feel lonely (me included) I despise nowadays world so much... Things are quite hairy in Spain, and totally terrible to form a couple here, believe me.
Again, it all comes to sincerity and friendship first. True story: the couple were together for years before marriage. After they finally returned from their honeymoon travel, she said to her friends: "I don't know this man". Sad. Very sad.
Personaly, it is about loving her "soul" first. Loving her nature and her imperfections. However, it is also a matter of luck, perhaps "destiny", to meet right person.
I totally disagree with professional photos on a dating site. Men could ask their sister or a friend’s partner to help them take a few decent photos on their phone in a casual setting.
Correction regarding monogamy. Even tribal peoples today have polygamy. But polygamy comes in two versions, parallel and serial and many fail to see a series of relationships which are monogamous in the current relationships is still multiple marriages/relationships.
What has changed is that with divorce as it is today marriage and relationships are a mess more than ever.
And to make matters worse, those who get divorced will likely do it again and again. This means they will become a greater part of the dating pool as the years go by.
Forget Western toxic feminist women - find a traditional minded East Asian or Latina woman - you will never regret it.
In the USA or outside the USA?
As a white man I only have relationships of any type with white women and possibly east Asian women but even then I'd rather preserve my race, as I suggest the Japanese do the same
2:50 Gonna throw my theory out there before I hear it. My theory is:
Long term is fishing in a short term pond
Short term is fishing in a long term pond
But all the fish look the exact same
Also, short term “fish” are great at “blending in”.
7:12 you should look into “Alfred Kinsey”. Thank him for that starting point.
9:00 before I hear the rest of this part, they don’t have AC though so I don’t wanna hear it because the growth doesn’t exist whenever it was the case.
9:45 and then you break it down, thank you lol
Very thorough and highly informative. I’ll be subscribing. 😎👍🏿💯
Cool channel, Roni. Thanks.
I noticed a lot of TH-camrs I watch for other things are now talking about modern dating for views and to perpetuate their own agenda. You almost cannot get away from the dating discussion.
I am not scared of marriage and dating. As I a guy, I feel there’s a social pressure for men to sleep around to find a relationship or love too. It’s a big green flag for a guy if he’s desired by many women. An easy metric for that is their body count. Women might not want promiscuous a guy, but they don’t want a guy with little to no sexual partners. I have seen a lot of men get more success in finding someone once they start getting serious relationships or sex. So I think to some extent when we tell guys not to put women on a pedestal and be too nice, we are telling just go get laid by any means necessary. It’s not a liberal and conservative thing either. I have a some of conservative and religious friends who have participated hookup culture or dated people for selfish reasons. I don’t think it’s intentional, it’s just how extensive these dating trends are.
Most women with my values marry young. I wish I tried harder in college and early graduate school, but I was shy. Thought, I still struggle with it to this day. I didn’t expect to do so good my college first year and I really wanted to keep it. It got hard and I am not sure if graduate school was a smart choice.
3:25 if marriage is not an outdated system, then saving yourself for marriage is also not outdated.
You have to be fair in this agreement. For the most part, you're spot on.
Even though I don't agree with everything 100%, everything was well said and explained. Thank you!
I just don't feel like dating is the best use of my time. I prefer to just go out and do things, and if I make friends along the way, that's awesome.
Maybe, if I met someone that I thought would make a good life partner, I would have to reckon with what "dating" specifically would look like. But I don't "date" to meet someone. I choose to meet people first, get to know what they're about and what drives them, before considering anything more.
😂😂😂 human beings evolved from chimpanzees....
You're full of cheese.
I'm a guy and I just found your content. I'm surprised that you don't have more views and subscribers. Very insightful content
Be stronger together or be weaker alone
Amen ♥️
"A woman who asserts herself, who has ambitions and strives for independence, often finds herself criticized, or marginalized, as her assertiveness is perceived as a challenge to male supremacy."
Simone Beauvoir
A person who asserts themself, who has ambitions and strives for independence, often finds themself criticized, or marginalized, as their assertiveness is perceived as a challenge to others, and the status quo.
Fixed it.
And all I had to do was take out the self-indulgent victim mentality.
Unwin's "Sex and Culture" is an incredible study. Worth a video.
Brilliant, thank you for the recommendation. Looks like a book I would enjoy.
I dont understand the paradox of choice at all. When shopping I highly enjoy going through 50 options and assessing the best option. And I am even more satisfied with my choice because I spent time making the assessment.
I think the only reason people would be unsatisfied is if they dont actually spend time making a logical assessment
Love the video and format. I'm a big fan of studying evolutionary psychology to understand the current modern context we are in RE: relationships. Your points touched on a lot of them and I generally agree with all of them. One thing I think that could be added to the natural behavior of hypergamy is that hypergamy is a universal truth, an instinct really. And women's hypergamous behavior is determined by the environment within which they are placed. For example, for 2 million years in nomadic hunter gatherer tribes, women had a mating choice of 50 men or less. Now, women have a device in their hand that connects them 3 billion+ men. So the criteria women have for men is much higher because even a small town girl that is average, will be able to find a man somewhere in the world to fly her out for a sexual dalliance in exchange for some kind of resources. This ripples through other areas of your video, such as the choice paradox and the difficulty men have in getting matches on dating apps. Keep up the good work! Your messaging is so important.
It would be interesting to do a video on how men and women have become very polorized politically, women leaning more liberal, and men more conservative and tying that human nature.
Case in point, I don't chase anymore.
Who is the guy @1:30 and where can I find more of his content? He is spot on about phones and social media. Both are designed to create an addiction and a desire for empty validation.
Scott Galloway ♥️
@ronifouks Thank you so much! Keep up the good work I find your stuff very insightful in navigating today's world
Hello Roni , what are your sources on monogamy vs polygamy?
Cool channel i don't know if i agree with everything but like the different perspectives
I barely dated but i saw enough when i was younger. It was already toxic as hell but there wree still a large group of young, average women who thought they wanted to grt married. They were the neediest, clingyest, stupidest questions, pre conceived expectations, nervous, cant talk about anything. I found women to be remarkably devoid of knowledge of anything. It was so ego driven. Some dates felt like she was there to act a part for a tv episode. It all felt like nobody knew what they were doing and both of us are trying to follow some unwritten handbook on dating.
Nowadays, i dont even get past texting. I used to text girls endlessly wasting so much time talking about nothing working twoards the date with all these required steps and checkpoints.
Now its like 3 sentences in im like k were not compatible we want totally different things from eachother we arent here for the same reason so peace out.
Two things, celebrating 27 years of marriage next week. A good marriage is still hard and requires work, but is well worth it. I was 27 and she was 23. I feel sorry for those dating today. It's a sewer. Which comes to my second point, for a biblical take on it, read 1 Timothy 4:1-5. It describes 2 things, we see both happening and this toxic dating culture is pushing the second one
Generally I like to be around happy, content and sensible women who are not overly influenced by popular culture. How delusional would I have to be to think I can keep another adult human being happy, content and engaged over many decades? And what is the cost of failure? A man's got to know his limits.