I was definitely one of those young girls who found Orlando Bloom fabulously unthreatening. I watched this movie at a slumber party, and it was the first time I remember thinking, “wow, this is shit,” whilst watching a movie.
Baz The Storyteller That’s a great scene, even if it makes me want to vomit too haha. But my favourite bit, of Guest House Paradiso, is when Mr. Twat (“It’s pronounced Thwaite!”) is taking the breakfast orders, and the fight that ensues between him and Eddie in the kitchen, after Eddie uses a pencil like a blow-dart, and shoots it up Mr. Twat’s arse, when he’s bending over haha. It’s obviously not a great movie, but the opening 5 or 10 minutes, with their fight, is laugh out loud hilarious: Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson were just so fantastic at physical comedy, that it made up for Guest House Paradiso being a bit rubbish in other aspects haha.
Oh, OK, it's the yr 2023 now, I skipped 3 of his whole episodes in the last month because they started discussing bowel movements but he wouldn't swear a little
Sorry, but I watched it recently and I quiet liked it. It's not one of the greatest films but it's not the worst. BTW I'm 49 and I don't want to take Mr Bloom home or spend my pocket money watching any of his films (well not all of my pocket money).
I heard this review a while back and still gave the film a chance based on Crowe's earlier work... wish I'd listened to Mark, he's bang on target, it's a total mess, a true stinker. But it's always good to hear an old school Kermode rant again.
I just watched this film yesterday hadn't heard anything about it. Thought Cameron Crowe, Bloom, Dunst, Sarandon, cool give it a go! I agree with many points Mr Kermode says, as I often do. Cameron Crowe means well but a lot of this is Mushy nauseating crap, which is a shame considering the really good acting talent they have. But Oi! I like Orlando Bloom as a person & actor but not really in this film. (He even admitted in an interview since it's not one of his faves).Mind you him crying in the car was gd acting in my opinion. His acting has got better with age I think. I also like a lot of the soundtrack & liked the band still playing Free Bird in sprinklers as inaccurate as it would be
See the movie. Not sure what Kermodes issues are. There is no law that says a sentimental movie is wrong simply for being sentimental. It's funny. Sweet. And the leads have chemistry. Dunst is particularly good I think.... as Dunst goes... Criticism like this is cheap and lazy.
Oh come on! Too harsh. I liked it. Elizabeth town isn't perfect. Yes, the scene with Susan Sarandon tap dancing is one of the worst in years. But still, overall, the film is a decent one. It's best for those who have already lost their father and know the pain and disillusion that event causes. If you consider the Dunst character to be an Angel sent to Earth to help Bloom it helps too. That's essentially what she is.
I know and agree with the idea that you should see something before you criticise it. But there are always exceptions, and I can say without fear of being wrong, that this is a complete shite film.
"Stewardess.!The barf bag please!"...Classic Kermode!
Even though they're called flight attendants now LOL!
One of the best rants of all time, i honestly cannot tell why.
Orlundo Bland
i love it when mark reads out terrible press notes descriptions
The sound of the banality of evil is 'The Voice of Marketing'.
"Whey-faced little twit". Utterly sublime.
"She decides to befriend this whey-faced little twit" - one of the very best Kermodian lines, and a perfect description of Orloondo Bland.
To the point that I've decided to officially adopt that into my vocabulary of insults. Thank you, Mr. Kermode.
I think it's waif (whey is like milk? Hmm)
British insults, there's nothing quite like them.
So Mark loved it
'She's just going out with life, and love, and the spirit of joy de vivre...'
'...meh, you'll get bored with that.'
Giggle every time at that.
I loved this movie
Same very underrated
"She's going out with Spiderman, though. She's spoken for."
I was definitely one of those young girls who found Orlando Bloom fabulously unthreatening. I watched this movie at a slumber party, and it was the first time I remember thinking, “wow, this is shit,” whilst watching a movie.
Starting Orloondo Bland!!!
amazing problem child 2 reference
OrLOONDO Bland.
Thank you for uploading these reviews...they're a great way to pass the time, and very informative!
Kermode and Mayo are a great comedy duo
Kermode should get his own film review TV show.
Lol -"On the floor, throwing your guts up"
Awesome, thanks!
"Sea of spew...". Love it.
Poetry.
I should watch this film to judge for myself but I remember seeing a brief TV ad for this film and thinking, "Kermode isn't going to like this."
"Whey-faced little twit" - brilliant
:)
This is still hilarious!
So I recently got ahold of the Last Days review and I just uploaded it.
Bland couldn't portray grief any more than Hayden Christensen could portray fury.
He mentioned the vomit scene from Problem Child 2. Wonder if he has seen Guest House Paradiso.
Baz The Storyteller
That’s a great scene, even if it makes me want to vomit too haha.
But my favourite bit, of Guest House Paradiso, is when Mr. Twat (“It’s pronounced Thwaite!”) is taking the breakfast orders, and the fight that ensues between him and Eddie in the kitchen, after Eddie uses a pencil like a blow-dart, and shoots it up Mr. Twat’s arse, when he’s bending over haha.
It’s obviously not a great movie, but the opening 5 or 10 minutes, with their fight, is laugh out loud hilarious: Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson were just so fantastic at physical comedy, that it made up for Guest House Paradiso being a bit rubbish in other aspects haha.
"A uniquely-crafted comedy set in the key of life"? Oh please, who farted?
I liked it! Great Soundtrack!
sharky1304
Stewardess! The barf bag please!
Oh, OK, it's the yr 2023 now, I skipped 3 of his whole episodes in the last month because they started discussing bowel movements but he wouldn't swear a little
"TAP dancing"
He needs to review the good doctor... bricks will be shit.
I miss this Mark. May he return (sans copy of the Grauniad).
Please do. I'd use crime-scene cleaning chemicals as well. I think you may need them.
Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man
Please do.
Sorry, but I watched it recently and I quiet liked it. It's not one of the greatest films but it's not the worst. BTW I'm 49 and I don't want to take Mr Bloom home or spend my pocket money watching any of his films (well not all of my pocket money).
Hey, do you have his review for Last Days, by any chance?
I absolutely love this Movie, if you get past Orlando's accent, jts great.
Although a prerequisite may be father problems
Marks hatred for this review sounds so little, but so great. lol
This movie was a complete bore! Kermode is a classic.
I don't unfortunately.
Wow this is harsh 🙈
me. it wasn't a fart. apologies, i'll clean.
I heard this review a while back and still gave the film a chance based on Crowe's earlier work... wish I'd listened to Mark, he's bang on target, it's a total mess, a true stinker. But it's always good to hear an old school Kermode rant again.
Aisle of Vom.
Any chance you can upload Sex Lives of the Potato Men ?
so, it wasn't cynical enough for you guys... got it.
You can't be that cynical while also being an Almost Famous fan.
But it did give us the phrase manic pixie dream girl. Which is worth it
I just watched this film yesterday hadn't heard anything about it. Thought Cameron Crowe, Bloom, Dunst, Sarandon, cool give it a go!
I agree with many points Mr Kermode says, as I often do. Cameron Crowe means well but a lot of this is Mushy nauseating crap, which is a shame considering the really good acting talent they have. But Oi! I like Orlando Bloom as a person & actor but not really in this film. (He even admitted in an interview since it's not one of his faves).Mind you him crying in the car was gd acting in my opinion. His acting has got better with age I think. I also like a lot of the soundtrack & liked the band still playing Free Bird in sprinklers as inaccurate as it would be
He really doesn't like Bloom. Doesn't he call him Borlando Gloom?
Orloondo Bland.
Manic Pixie Dream Barf.
orlando bloom and kursten dunst? no thanks
It's actually Orlondo Bland :)
@reservoirdog666 I like Kirsten Dunst
"Key of life"? WTF?
It is absolutely TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE. And Orlando is AWFUL in it.
See the movie. Not sure what Kermodes issues are. There is no law that says a sentimental movie is wrong simply for being sentimental. It's funny. Sweet. And the leads have chemistry. Dunst is particularly good I think.... as Dunst goes...
Criticism like this is cheap and lazy.
Elizabethtown was sooo stodgy. An extremely poor man's Jerry Maguire
Oh come on! Too harsh.
I liked it. Elizabeth town isn't perfect. Yes, the scene with Susan Sarandon tap dancing is one of the worst in years. But still, overall, the film is a decent one. It's best for those who have already lost their father and know the pain and disillusion that event causes. If you consider the Dunst character to be an Angel sent to Earth to help Bloom it helps too. That's essentially what she is.
I know and agree with the idea that you should see something before you criticise it. But there are always exceptions, and I can say without fear of being wrong, that this is a complete shite film.
Love Kermode, but totally disagree here. Bloom steals the show, in a film with Susan Sarandon and Kirsten Dunst... :-p