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The Hoovering Narcissist - The Abusive Cycle (Stephanie Lyn Coaching)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
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Being discarded is the most painful, yet victorious thing to accomplish with a narc. It means they couldn't destroy you.
YES! It is actually a compliment to the one being discarded. It means they could not break you and they you held them accountable for their actions and they did not like it.
no, sometimes they actually distroy you and then discard you
J Bee I've just been discarded 7 months pregnant after 7 years and three children soo painful because I felt I invested soo much
Damage is still done because of the trust one put in this person and the emotional investment, but what you said is the most positive way I have seen someone put it.
If you are being discarded it’s because you longer give them the supply they desire and they want to move on to their next victim. That’s when you start seeing them for who they truly are.
@@nikitalamb7041 Thank God you have a chance in the future to find a good man who won't put you through years of h_ll. Good luck to you. Believe for good things to come. A good future. Take care. Best of luck😇
This is really good one. After 24 years of intermittent reinforcement, I finally learned his patterns, his cycles and I put an end to it. I broke the cycle by filing for a divorce. He is doing the hoovering now but I'm not falling for it. I do not trust him now. The only thing I know he is predictable at doing is emotional abuse. I thank God I have learned to love myself enough to start all over again. At 64 years old it won't be easy but I am forced to live life to the best of my abilities.
what is intermittent reinforcement?
The strength and self-love in your words is remarkable! You should be so proud of yourself and thank you for commenting as it gives other viewers going through a similar situation strength and hope 💗
+Stephanie Lyn Coaching
I am caretaking my 86 year old Mother. I moved to be near her and found out she is a toxic narcissist. I am her 54 year old daughter. Recently, I had to move in with her because she needs help in her everyday life. I still can't believe I did not know she is like this. I started looking online and her behavior is a real thing. She has done so many things, I can't list everything. But, she will go into my room and rearrange my stuff. I will call her on it and she will cry and say I hurt her soul when I accuse her. I know for a fact she moves my things because I actually started taking pictures of my room. This is a game she plays. I am learning not to react to her, but it is very hard for me. I can't believe she treats me like this. I think back about my childhood and knowing what I know now about this disorder, it all makes sense to me. I just want to say that I am so very glad to have found your channel. EVERYTHING you talk about, I can truly relate. Thank you!!!!!
I listen to you after work and you are helping me. My Mom is sick. When I react, she gets this sick grin on her face. At least I know what is going on and I am learning not to react to her!!
Hi there. Its just like my case .i couldnt stand living with him for 10months.after i had my baby hr started to be jealous of our son .i ended the relashioship immediatelty .it took me so much pain .he is married now and he wants to get back with me .can you believe that am sssooo sick of him help me
Kamikamo 000099... you can do it. Keep praying. God will help you. He loves you and never wants any of us to suffer. He will make a way where there doesn't seem to be a way. 💖💖💖
"THE LONGER YOU ALLOW SOMEONE TO KEEP COMING BACK AND FORTH INTO YOUR LIFE, THE LONGER IT'S GOING TO TAKE YOU TO MEET THE PERSON THAT YOU'RE REALLY TRYING TO MEET". NOW, YOU SAID SOMETHING RIGHT THERE!!!! THANKS!!!!
If you’re only interested in hearing the “hoovering” part, fast forward to 10:00
😂👍
I was just thinking that!!! 👍👍👍
Hero!
My ex of 4 years is a narcissist. I went through the whole shindig... walking on eggshells (being afraid to bring up anything) because I’ll be stonewalled/punished for weeks. He told me he loved me after 2 weeks, my response was like “ what????? Lol no you don’t” it’s damaging seriously. I ignored all the red flags because I was very insecure when I met him and he was over the top charming so I didn’t want to loose that as he was filling me up with attention. Anyways everything happened and more. Towards the end I began to have severe anxiety and panic attacks because of how terrible he would make me feel. Best thing is to get away from these people and we have to work on loving ourselves so these toxic people have no chance.
This is so similar to my story too.
@Gucci, I am sorry for what you went through. I can only relate as I am/had been in such a relationship. My ex gf was charming in the beginning and I used to think to myself if this was really true and I hit a jackpot on finding myself a life time love and companion. Little did I know what she put me through. I was so naive that I didnt even know that I was insecure and co-dependent! Online videos and great channel like this have helped me learn that I was the cause of putting myself though such crap. Typical traits - stonewalling, blame shifting and it was always me who screwed up on things. She would put me in the doghouse for 1-2 weeks and she would take off on a trip and make me apologize. We have been together for a year and I havent heard a genuine apology for her. The best thing is to stay away form these people - they drain you, mentally, physically and take away your soul from you and leave you on the curb to fend for yourself.
I've been with someone on & of for 10 years, going in circles, but finally I put my foot down & told him to get out & disappear, after two weeks he rang to say he might have cancer! The previous break up he lied he is having heart problem! So this time I built the courage to say I'm not that lucky! You don't have cancer! & if you do that's well deserving for abusing & robbing me for years.
After 2 weeks??? Dang.
Love bombing is repulsive to me so I think a part of me has healed.
She said, "their new supply." 😂😂😂😂. This video is extremely informative and useful. Thank you for taking the time to educate us. Another important characteristic of a narcissist is that they DO NOT respect boundaries, hence the hoovering. They will pretend you didnt just break up with them 1 week ago. They are totally delusional.
Oh my God, that's what I'm going through... Thanks for the comment
This is common nomenclature for this kind of abuse
They are.😂
Being discarded by my emotional abuser was the thing that tipped me over from completely toxic to working on a journey of self discovery and recovery from unhealthy thinking and behavior. Thank you for these videos.
So today is a year that I broke it off with my ex and he started hoovering and I ran to this video. It's so easy for cognitive dissonance to kick in. But I'm good now thanks to this video :)
That last comment is so true & helpful - realising that the narcissist has taught/brought you to this place where you have found your self worth! Be glad that you’ve learnt a powerful lesson & never forget to love yourself! Move on, don’t let them grind you down!!
Annie Jones Absolutely… 100%! That’s when you know you’ve healed is when you have that type of mentality. When you see more of the blessing that came out of your situation versus the pain and focusing on what you didn’t get… Which by the way is probably not something that you really truly wanted in the first place. Who wants to be with anyone that doesn’t want to be with them. Thanks for the comment!
Cancel your subscription to their abusive issues. 🙅♀️
Ok
Well put
Its so crazzy to see how me and many others let this happen i feel so robbed of my life how could someone do this its insane. Been with my wife for 17YEARSSS cheated on multiple times abused the list goes on and on how can we be so weak people? Im taking back my life today! I kicked her out im done. I realized that im not crazzy i was once a guy who new what he wanted now i have no selfworth but i will and i say I WILL GET IT BACK dam narcs this will never happen again to me thank u for your videos iv learned alot from u your the best!
Being discarded is a blessing! And yes they will still Hoover you. They never go away! Ackkkk.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to geniustracker701(via)GMAILCOM
Your videos are so helpful. This has been a vicious cycle to break away from, these narcissists are relentless
september luketz They absolutely are relentless especially when at one point you were a good source of supply and maybe now you are not.
@@StephanieLynCoaching hello Stephanie Lyn I've never been a big troller, honestly this is the first time I've even commented on youtube I just wanted you to know your videos are the very first to ever impact my life so intensely. Thank you so much for discussing these type of issues that usually aren't talked about.
Good job
I just ended an abusive relationship, I left, and I blocked him then even he tries to email me, but I ill never ever contact him again. I will never let any man treat me like that again. There is a while back story to why I put up with the abuse, but I am so proud and happy and I know I am strong and better with out him. There are so many good and kind people out there, I was brave enough to take a leap of faith and I'm in a much better place. Now he is trying to hoover and no never coming back!
horrorcops good for you!!
Your aura is incredible. There is pink and white around you in your videos. So happy to see a healthy, balanced, and whole human that has the light inside and out! Bless you!
september luketz Oh my gosh thank you so much… I had to Google what those colors mean ha ha! All the best to you!
september luketz try blue violet as a psychic medium it's what i saw
aoifemaria molloy that's awesome!!!!
aoifemaria molloy can you see it too on her? It's amazing! Truly gifted!!!
september luketz yes
You are such a blessing in my life!
I started therapy last week because of your encouraging videos. (double healing & help) lol.
Nicole Clark double healing.. I love that!!! 😉💗
Nicole Dove thank you
Why narcissistic do this things? they don't realize how they hurt their partner?
I broke up with my boyfriend in April after what was probably the worst two years of my life. Going through these videos has helped me feel less stupid about falling for his act, simply by knowing that people like him do actually exist and that he was in fact abusive; I was sort of amazed listening to the cycle and basically having you recount exactly what my life was like when I was with him. So thank you, for giving me an extra piece of closure to add to all the self-love I've been collecting this year :)
When I have Been discarded by the nacissist , I just bluntly said to them that they dont deserve to be in my life any more and I prefer no contact ,that's how they stated pointing out their insecurities and blame game on me...but I didn't give any reaction but choose a best response 😋 and shut them off 😁 living a peaceful New Life after that horrible experience ,thanks to you 😍
mahnoor ali that's wonderful. I hope to be able to do same tomorrow. All the comments and her channel have finally made me say ENOUGH
I broke up with a narc a few days ago, and the vindictive hoovering has already started. Watching your channel has armed me with information to soothe myself, stay realistic and not get sucked into the pettiness.
Totally agree!!!!! Don't give away to much of yourself in the beginning. Take it slow, don't put up with players. Love yourself enough to breakup, when you get it that if he/she don't get his/here way there will be nasty consequences.
mc dijkhuizen 🙌💜
💛
My jaw just continued to drop.. while I knew I was in this type of relationship, it was all just put in my face and reassured me I definitely was.. this is crazy.. thank you for this video. I don’t feel so crazy anymore..
The disrespect is what gets me...I do not entertain period including my own mother they are sick 👶 .Thank you 🙏🙏
the disrespect sneak dissn
So SPOT ON to what I'm going through right now with my 32 yr relationship that is now ending. Thank you for what you have to offer! XOXO
Your videos helped me to end up an abusive relationship.
Thank you so much and also thanks for this valuable information! Greetings
It is really devastating been discarded by these type of person after all you have done for them, they cheat they lie and they we'll cheat on they're new partner with you with promises that they will come back but after getting what they want from you they discard you again and get back to the new supply like nothing happen, it really sucks she's just a beautiful heartless monster, she has done it to me like six times in 8 months after been discarded for this new partner... so painful. stay strong and don't let them keep using you. Thank your work Stephanie !!
Narcissism is like an epidemic. Thank you for your videos, they help massively x
You literally described my ex to an absolute T … thank you so much, the healing is underway
not all narcissists love bomb or hoover with gifts or " I love you ", or " you're my soul mate " early on. It might be excessive quality time or telling you deep secrets or appearing to be vulnerable to hook you early on. That's how I got hooked in the covert narc trap. He would always say he would never say deep words like I love you until after a while and he only dropped those words when he tried to hoover me almost 2 years in.
Please don't stop. You are helping to bless others by God leading you. You are helping to change lives. I am very very grateful.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to geniustracker701(via)GMAILCOM
It is the wise people like Stephanie Lyn who really move this planet. Her words are so friendly and in charge with you about your emotions. I can see why she connects with women of course and these videos can be really helpful for men who want to dig deeper, see broadly, and be truly at peace with themselves. Watch and listen deeply, and you’ll find yourself reflecting on her insights regularly. Thank you Ms Lyn for being so remarkable!
Your videos are great! They are helpful and comforting. I’m glad I found you.
You have a lot of really useful advice. You put it out in a very lucid, understandable method. Plus you're nice to listen to and look at.
Stephanie this is vital for me right now. You videos are so impactful.
U hit it right on the nail sis u did it once again info to grow on very helpful and ur hair looks very lovely keep up the good work thanks again love Grace n peace
wow. Your incredible.. Thank you again Stephanie
Well communicated. Will follow your advice. Thanks so much for posting this video.
I love your definition on being discarded!!! ♡♡♡♡♡ Amazing! Beautiful! Thank you
Ty again for your channel. Keep the info coming.
I am presently feasting on ways to love myself so I can be happy . Great talk! It took a while to be sick but it's amazing how quickly I am healing with the right info!
You don't know how much of a help you've been to me in these past couple of days thank you so much for your videos I feel so much stronger because of them I really don't have anybody to talk to about my relationship issues I'm so glad I have you to listen to you've truly been a godsend
You just changed my life. I needed to hear this.
Thank you for breaking this down. I was discarded and in turn rejected the Narc. A week later he starts calling. I'm going into counseling today as I never want to be used again.
Victoria Krasteva I’m so happy you’re starting counseling! Dive into self development dive into learning how to love yourself and you will be able to protect yourself from abuse… All the best to you!
Thank you for your videos, brings me clarity and hopes that it will end soon. Bless you
Yep. He called me to rub the new supply in my face. It was really awful. Wasn’t the girl he cheated with. It was ANOTHER girl. All within a month. It cut deep- but I didn’t react. I let him know I didn’t want to hear that. Gotta set those boundaries.
I noticed my brother in laws odd behavior every time I was around him. He knew I was very sharp. So he never once had a real conversation with me in all the years I've known him. He fits every trait a narcissist has. I tried to confront my sister but she flat out went into denial and refused to listen. After over 12 years with him, she is a shell of her old self and can't fool me. So I am just waiting now for something to break out since he now knows I told her all about his traits and he knows I know all about him. These people are so robotic and uncaring about everyone except their possy of loser (or naive) casual friends. Any support groups out there? I will fight this guy by continued learning all about their kind. My sister has a heart of gold and as far as I'm concerned, my goal is to bring him down the right way. He has taken her soul. I have to just wait now, but any support group info would be of interest to me.
powerless over other people--1st step in CoDependents Anonymous
My ex bro in law set my sister up with bogus assault charges because he gaslit her into an argument while illegally recording the convoy, she was trying to get the phone away from him, he had her jailed, she doesn't even cuss. Never hit or hurt anyone. He pre planned it and journaled what his plan was. It was premeditated. In 2001 when our narc dad was murdered he attempted to railroad me out of handling my dad's estate, even though me and sis were co executors. I informed him that "if our dad thought so much of him, he would have put him in the will too. Until he could find his name in those documents he could pi$$ off,that my dad didn't even like him",and that was when I knew he was malignant (this was in 2002), he had my sis arrested in 2017. I knew when we had our blowout something radical would have to happen at some point in the future for her to break cog diss and step out of the FOG. At the time I though of it as her "waking up".We endured many years of witnessing his covert abuse as a family because he played the part at every gathering he could. Unfortunately it took a day in jail and the legal headaches of expunging a bogus charge. He held all her belongings(including her underwear) hostage for 2 years, and had his attorney squawk "equitable distribution " when she had to take him to small claims court after she filed for and was granted a divorce. It musta triggered his narc injury pretty badly. Glad he is gone as she is free and thriving with a much clearer outlook on life. Great to have my sister back. God is good. Edit: she is DEFINITELY No Contact
This is everything my brother said to me about my soon to be ex husband...gave me chills reading this bc it took 9 years to for me to get the courage to file for divorce.
Great video ~ perhaps get more specific re 'hoovering' - e.g. will text or call you w/o boundaries to -recondition you - e.g.. at 7:30 a.m. or 10:30 pm just to get a reaction - to keep connected ; They have short memories, and each day is a clean slate w/o remembering you have diplomatically asked them to respect your schedule - it's all about theirs. Violations of boundaries force a connection - usually this type of hoovering is more evident when Narcs get 'desperate' e.g. you have ignored them or held a non-reactive stance for a time (they notice a change in you which is unsettling to them). 'They' react by intensifying the hoovering. When it gets to the point of rediculous, then you know you are just baby steps away from having them out of your life altogether, as they cannot exist w/o the control. Hang in there !
Hi Stephanie, I just wanna say that you have been opening up my mind when it comes to toxic people in my life. Thank you so much for taking the time to make these videos. It is a bonus to hear your wisdom, and to learn so much from such a classy beautiful woman as yourself. I hope you find everything that you could ever hope for in this crazy world of ours. Well, I hope that for everyone too. ;-)
Thank you! You brought a lot of things to my attention that I need to be aware of. I was just recently discarded by a overt narcissist and the explanation you gave made me feel so much better about my situation. When I was discarded I felt humiliated by the narcissist but your explanation made me realize that I’m feeling more confident about myself and was even creating boundaries with this abusive person and that’s why he discarded me. Which in the end, made me so thankful that I didn’t let this person become too involved with me. It even made me start searching on the internet why this continually happens with me in my work situations. Well, I found out my family is riddled with them and I’m now on a path of learning, healing and creating the change in my life to be happy with myself again. Thank you for your videos and please keep the advice and help coming!
Thank you for making all these videos 💙 they really help me. I watch them daily to keep myself on track. I left a very narcissistic guy a few months ago and he has been very persistent on trying to keep me in his life. Thank you again I really appreciate all these videos that you make 😊
Thank you so much for sharing your healing. All of the videos I’ve watched have helped me so much. Namaste 🙏
Thank you so so much I can’t tell you how much you’re helping me heal... I’ve meditated for clarity and I’ve meditate for healing and found your videos. The universe has provided...
Your videos are the reason I even know anything about NPD. It’s so sad and scary at first but it gets easier. Thank you
Admire this channel very much and Stephanie helps me understand what ive been ignorantly dealing with throughout my life.
God bless.
This is one of the best videos on this subject that I've seen so far.
Thank you so much for this video, Stephanie! It was as if you were talking about my story and what I’ve been going through. Every point you made, every advice you gave was so spot on. I was discarded by my ex narcissist but what you said at the end made me feel better which was that the fact that I was discarded means that I still kept a level of standard that the narc didn’t want to deal with. I still had some self respect and self preservation to not allow the narc to totally break me. It is unbelievable how I could have ignored all the red flags and thought it was ok to be with such a damaged and evil man for 7 yrs. This tells me that I was a damaged person myself…. so void of love inside that desperation drove me to be with such a dangerous man. Now I have realized that I must not only heal from this trauma but also from the wounds I have been carrying from childhood. It’s time to not dwell on why and how I was discarded by the narc but to channel my energy and time to become whole again and work on being a healthier person inside and out.
Amazing. To hear all this and it is healing to listen.
I’ve been discarded 2 times.
I absolutely love your videos! I have seen a number of them and they are so encouraging. I am sure you have helped many people and so these videos are of great value to the world. Thank you for making them!
James Egan Thank you so much for watching and thank you for your kind words! All the best!
You’re hair color is stunning! Thank you for making these videos!
Happy I found this even thought its 3 years old. Cleared up a situation with my last ex and her new flame. Your explanation of the relationship fast tracking, peacocking on social media and other points you addressed nailed my situation to a tee.
I like what you said at the end about being discarded is a good thing. I recently had this experience, with my mother discarding me after I refused to play along with her agenda, again, and it hurt so much. I had gone no contact for 4 years and then let her back in after my brother shamed me, basically telling me to get over it and grow up, when none of them even once took the time to put themselves in my shoes or what I'd been through as a result of their behavior, and it was a big mistake. I knew they would not have changed, but I felt shamed by him and warily let her in again...only to be shown that she hasn't changed at all...and they think I'M the narcissist and have been trying to convince me that it's me this whole time.
Feeling discarded really hurts...especially when it is a parent. She has rejected me numerous times in my life, and this was the last straw. I won't let that happen again. I'm glad she did because now I don't have to deal with her crap ever again! I'm free, and I don't have to worry about it because now she knows that I'm not that little girl who fell for all her tricks, and his tricks, and I'm not so easily fooled as I once was, and I know who they are now and won't give into them. It's so sad that a mother would hold that attitude towards her own daughter..."if you don't do what I want then I can't be bothered with you and have no use for you...goodbye." How horrible! I went no contact as a way to protect myself...not to punish them. Now I'm the monster for all I'VE put THEM through by going no contact. YOu'd think if I'm the monster they wouldn't want me back??
This is spot on!!! Good job! So much good info in all your videos. This is so hard to recover and heal from but it is possible and you can do it!
A J Absolutely you can!
Best Video! Was so helpful! Thank you!🙏🏽
He couldn’t break me!
I know I'm late Stephanie Lyn but thank you soooo much for your teachings and coaching. This is helping me beyond words that I can say. I don't know why I'm just learning this now, but I'm grateful that I'm at least learning! I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist for 13 yrs on and off. What you've described is what I went through with him, but I'm glad that I cut ties with him and blocked him over 2 yrs ago. Now I know what to do and what to look out for 🙂 You are truly a blessing ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!
Thanks to all this info, I can see every thing my "boyfriend" is doing. Now it's just insulting my intelligence. It's almost comical now when he tries it on me. I call him out on it every single time. He's too stupid to understand it has no effect on me anymore.
Joanie Boyles,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist….
You really are a wonderful 'teacher' Stephanie. I've just turned 62, really hurting from 18 yrs of abuse and nastiness where I ended up being stabbed. I got out but am still suffering the old 'she's not really that bad' & 'she didn't really mean to do it' phases and it hurts, it really hurts. Now I've found these vids it helps a huge amount so again, thank you x
As a father of 2 daughters and 1 son, this is just an excellent channel with invaluable information and advice, Thank You!
I just want to say that I am sorry for all of you for going through what you have gone through. I went through it myself recently with my ex gf of one year. I wish you all the best. Thank you Stephanie for the great video. It really eased my mind.
Traditional commitment person meets serial non-committer. My biggest regret is not point blank asking intent. Assumptions only fool yourself. Actions proved anything but. But yet the manipulation at maintaining supply was utter deception. After years of marriage then loss, you never see it coming. No boundary's are sacred to a disordered person. None.
Thanks for your work Stephanie.
Brad McEwen SO true! Be well!
mmanda515 I thank you & same to you. It going to be alright : )
exactly ! yu never saw it comiing !
thats wat they do !
Hi Stephanie- I am duly impressed by and grateful for your wisdom and insights. You get it and you articulate it so well and so intelligently. I lost track of how many people love commented similarly AND wished they had received this guidance and feedback sooner. Too, how when looking back, you kick yourself for not seeing it sooner..... and kicking yourself again for struggling with why it is so difficult to break the disordered attachment, even post break-up, to such a toxic, unhealthy and quite literally evil, mean spirited individual.
The heck of it is that I chose this person, and as such, I am not a victim. Rather, as you suggest, the real question, and in turn, work is what is my part in this dynamic, what is the lesson, and how/what do I need to do to heal myself, get heathy and ensure I not only recover, but figure out the how and why I was so vulnerable to this.
Life has a nifty way of serving up the same lessons over and over again until it is learned.
Regardless, thank you again for such compelling and articulate wisdom. Grateful I found your channel and super appreciative for your message.
Andrew
Wow. I literally went on a work trip for 3wks. I came home and saw text messages between my narc and his new supply telling each other how much they loved each other and how they wanted kids together. 3 wks. It’s really insane how narcs operate.
28 years of a Covert Narc relationship is in the middle of ending. Hardest thing ever. You are spot on with everything you say. Thanks a million for everything.
What a timely find! Thanks so much Stephanie....I was discarded today after 8 years of doubt/hope/doubt/hope and a year of rejection and hoovering, all the while being in and out of hospital with a heart condition and breast cancer treatment, I made it through- integrity intact. He dumped me over the phone while I lay here in hospital with angina -- from the golf course....a new low even for him!!! HELLO WORLD...IM BACK!
Your videos are definetely giving me answers! I concluded that my ex fiance is a narcissist due to the terrible cycle, and evrrything you express is exactly what happened to me for 5years!
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to geniustracker701(via)GMAILCOM
these videos really do help me...I didn't kno what I was dealing with 13 yrs ago n it was hard....but now I do ...I'm letting go of all my fears of walking out with my 3 kids ....im not scared anymore ....all thanx to you.
Thank you so much Stephanie. Your insight and coaching have been incredibly helpful!! I needed a little push and certainly some educating on emotional abuse and what keeps happening to me over and over and why. I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship (I think) with a person who suffers from long-term PTSD and severe clinical depression which has been the interminable variable. I've been convinced that a person who suffers these mental illnesses are exempt from bad behavior all together, and certainly excused from having to communicate about their actions. It is used as an excuse for EVERYTHING and has been making me feel completely crazy and like a terrible partner UNTIL I saw your video on gaslighting. "AH-HA! Totally what's happening." So thank you for all that you do (and please correct me if I'm wrong and people struggling with depression are allowed to behave however they please).
❤ Thank you Stephanie. Never heard this word Narcissist or related to abuse before. It is exactly what I went through and worse. From you I learn why I didn't know what to do about it and how to deal with it.
I was the same, not knowing what our problem was. After 33 years and a Nervous Breakdown and having to see. Psychiatrist who knew a lot about the relationship I was involved in" I started feeling "whole" again. He ask me to leave and when I did he started bsgging me to come back (I had done umpteen times). When he saw that I wasn't this time he became so angry that he found someone else (at a new to him Church, of all places). I was so hurt that he was disrespecting me and his family and himself. It has taken me several months to get over the pain and struggling to make it on my own financially, know I'm going to make it with God's Help. I am 77 years old and in failing health but is so good to finally have Peace in my life.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I needed to hear this video and thank you so much.
Stephanie, you have no idea how much these videos help me. I just graduated college May 2017 and student loans are piling and so no additional income or insurance to talk to professional help regarding my emotional abuse situation with my boyfriend. I live with him and my lease ends in August 2018. Watching your videos have really inspired me to get a hold of myself and really change. I'm currently in the "walking on eggshell" and "gaslight" stage. Even over the weekend my boyfriend freaked out on me "for being a bitch" when in my opinion I didn't do anything and I didn't understand why he was upset. I realized he was just having a bad day and wanted to take me down with him. I'm the kind of girl that hates when people yell at me and I just sort of curl up into a ball and hide. When him and I were arguing I found myself agreeing to everything he was saying about me, yes I am a bitch, yes I am an irresponsible pet owner, yes I am ungrateful, etc just so he would stop screaming at me. I notice now all his habits, I do something, he gets mad, I agree I am a bad person, he apologizes for blowing up at me, I feel shitty, he buys me something, end of story and a month later it happens again... and again... AND AGAIN!
I have told the leasing office for my apartment about my situation and I plan on going in again today and tell them I will not be living here for much longer. I am looking for a new job currently and a new place to live and plan on leaving my boyfriend. We have only been together for 8 months and I feel like it is too short of a relationship to continue and "fix" anything. I have a history of depression and anxiety and I need to be alone and fix myself while obviously he has issues of his own that need fixing.
Lisa Balla You should be so incredibly proud of yourself! I’m not quite sure how old you are but regardless of your age it is always good for you to take time and be by yourself and figure out where your wounds are And start healing them. Keep watching as many videos from as many people as you possibly can to educate yourself. Watch my video on how to illuminate your anxiety watch my video on how to create your own happiness because I talk a lot about self parenting and that will help you with the depression and the anxiety. Really focus every single day on learning how to take care of yourself love yourself stand up for yourself. Also start listening to positive affirmations every single day morning and night. Start listening to self-love meditations and do them as much as you can. Just listening to these phrases in these positive words will help you to build strength within your subconscious mind. All the best!
Stephanie .. thx so much for this perfect video.. spot on for me and Really helpful.. i was hoovered this morning 2:40 am and i didnt even feel tempted 1 sec to answer:) BTW you have the most beautyful eyes:)
thank you so much, terrific insight and help !
You describe what I went through to a tee- but i has to get a restraining order. Keep making your videos ! Looking forward to seeing one for teens !
AMAZING VIDEO THANK YOU STEPHANIE
Looking real good in the video baby ! 💜💜💜 I love you sis. Thank you Lord for this woman. Amen
I seriously love you. You’ve saved my life. Luckily I only wasted and suffered through 2 years instead of longer.
Many other TH-cam videos on this topic make me feel that I’m the narcissist, but you clarify and I was able to see the difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I'm following you from Egypt. All my friends here and some other Arab countries love you so much. Thanks a lot
Stephanie - you are a delightful refreshing MATURE PERSON who - IF THEY LISTEN- will help many people!
I’m actually watching your video in the car on high with my partner and. I think it’s good for the both of us.Thanku so much for your videos
Hi Stephanie, Thank you for all the information that you have provided! I wish I had seen the signs a long time ago.
I’m not sure if you have talked about this aspect of a narcissist before. The trait I’ve had to deal for almost 20 years is “Projection”. It sounds similar to gaslighting, but I think it’s more about projecting their issues onto the narc supply. She would say I’m selfish, not true, I was disorganized, some truth, but she was far worse, the list goes. I was describing what my ex-wife would say and one of my therapist told me that she was “projecting” her issues and insecurities in to me. This is exactly what the Leader of the Free World
Narcissism is a huge problem and growing! It’s taking a toll on many people, young and old alike!
Thank you again for creating these videos and sharing your knowledge of Narcissism!
John
This all the truth thank you for your wisdom ❤️❤️❤️
thanks for your help & support
I sincerely love you! ❤ thank you for your insight and compassion. This really helped me.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to geniustracker701(via)GMAILCOM
I watch this video at least once per week. it's helping.
Xbrilliant🌈 I think this is one video that needs to be posted every week for newcomers to not miss out.🤓😇💕
Such a great sum up at the end! Ayyyyy 🎉😊 👏🏽
So true..I went thru that..he would b so nice towards me when we are around my friends but he is differant when we are alone.
Thank god I dumped his sorry ass.
Your videos r really helping me realise what I went thru.
Thankyou.
Steph you are great! You are the only one who actually makes sense.Every word you say is like pill for all of these mental issues,insecurities and so on...please keep being so awesome,wise,feminine and so pretty!
Dobrev Dobrev thank you so much for your comment! 💗
Steph! You are a savior 💛
I just adore your videos. You are a natural and you know you’re stuff. It takes someone that went through narcissistic abuse to talk about it in depth like you do. Thanks for coming out of it and educating people about it instead of just doing videos out of anger and for the wrong reasons.
Christine Lynn thank you so much for your comment! Sometimes personal experience is the best teacher. All the best!
That was the best description I've heard anybody say about a discard or if you ended the relationship... Either way you're a winner I like the description of the discard cuz somewhere deep down inside you knew what was going on even though you didn't understand narcissistic abuse thank you Stephanie you're good 😊