Mom Is Stealing My Student Loan Money!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 มี.ค. 2018
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"She gets emotional" that's manipulation 101.
Gas lighting begiiiiiiiiins, now
Dave ramsey should send him to Kati Mortons youtube channel.
Happened to my boyfriends brother
How do we know the money didn't help support him - clothing, food, housing, etc. She is entitled to get emotional when verbally attacked by her son, and she doesn't know how to defend herself. She has been and still is as a college senior (an adult) been managing his money. It sounds to me like her greatest crime here is in over-mothering him. She should have cut the umbilical cord long ago. He (and Dave) need to study the Bible a little more.
@@kellyinfanger9192 what are you talking about? It’s his money!
This same thing actually happened to me with one of my family members. They took out $12,000 in student loans in my name as a cosigner. When I found out about it I reported it as fraud and got my name off the loans. It didnt cost me a thing either. Thanksgiving dinners were very awkward for a while...
Ralinebe Ralinebe did your family member get jail time or charged for it?
nordette i had to filed a police report but nothing happened. I didnt find out until 10 years later.
Thats fuckedup
Yea for that other relative it should be, you shouldn’t feel one bit of guilt you didn’t steal from your family, they stole from you. Period.
I wouldn't have thanksgiving dinner with them if they tried to con you for 12 grand... at least not for several years
I saw a sign in a restaurant (sort a quaint country restaurant with humorous signs on the walls). The sign said, “Be nice to your children, they choose your nursing home.”
lovethemflowers lol love that!
Dark. But funny.
@lovethemflowers name of the restaurant? I want to support
I choose the street
It doesn't matter how nice a parent is to her children, it all depends on the morals of the child.
When I was 17 my mom stole my college savings that my Dad has established, while she was divorcing him. Financial child abuse happens all the time. She's Bipolar, but that's not an excuse and it's forever changed the scope of my relationship with her. That was 22 years ago and I have 0...none....nada...no trust in her to this day.
Yeah she sounds manipulative
Horrible - 14 when it happened to me, father took her to court saying that $25K needed to be excluded from the settlement so my sister and I had SOMETHING when we leave. I'm very fortunate he did that.
No excuse for dishonesty and manipulation, not even illness
That why they don't want dad to have custody. Free money
SamGreen4life
Amazing that you lump 3 billion people together in the same category. I can hear the irony in you statements but really it’s like me saying “all men are paedophiles”.
Would that be a fair statement? No of course not. But I get the feeling you’re just out to insult any woman reading this...which is just sad.
I hope he checks his credit reports.
Julius Robinson FOR REAL. My boyfriend is dealing with this right now. He pulled his report & we found credit cards in his name & over $70,000 in student loans. (which is way too high for where we went to school) His mom uses the same emotional manipulation by crying whenever it’s mentioned. Worst of all - we found out while we were living with them to save money!
@@tbr_hoarder wow, so I guess they took yall in because they knew they milked him out of money. Ridiculous. I hope yall work out a payment plan. Money with family is always touchy. I always just give to family so there is no hard feelings. I finally paid one of my siblings for a trip I took years ago that he/she paid for me to go on. It was an important trip and the only one I took in a decade and my sibling did not want me to miss out on it. We agreed I would repay when I could and finally remember and paid back every single dollar of the less than $1.3K. I guess I should pay a little more for keeping it too long as interest. I hate owing people money even family.
@@tbr_hoarder I'd put her in jail then cry through the looking glass
Amanda Vee he needs to report the fraud and file a police report they will remove the debt he doesn’t owe.
A friend had her identity stolen by a family member who took out a loan. She cleared it up but didn't prosecute because "she was caught and learned her lesson". The family member then went on to take out loans in a coworker's name. She got caught and it was the bank she did business with who prosecuted and she spent several years in jail while her kids were little. When you prosecute, you're saving them from a worse fate.
This is exactly what happened to an old friend. His mother took about $20 grand in his student loans and used them to pay off her property taxes from the last decade, and one or two of her credit cards. Don't trust anyone with your money!
ZaneTrusdale My dad was an alcoholic with poor money management skills. But at least when he wanted money from his children, he would ask and not scam it from us.
I managed my sons funding very well -he went for 2 majors at the same time. I was a single parent and never thought about stealing from my kid ever
He needs to file a police report I would in a heart beat it’s not even about revenge it’s a learning lesson stealing is wrong and illegal.
The mom justifies it in her own head by saying “I’ve given my whole life for this child and I really do need money and that money is just sitting there. And besides, I’ll pay it back “
Jim Cooke I would counter with he didn't choose to be born in this world
I always counter this argument with "Well you shouldn't have had the kid if you didn't want the responsibility of taking care of them and raising them."
Yup my mother
That’s like a burglar breaking into a nice house and saying “well, they have alot more and they likely won’t even miss this. Besides they can afford to replace these items”.
"People who aren't crazy don't steal from their own kids" .... more true words were never spoken.
Poor guy. I would starve before I would steal from my son. Cant even fathom this.
So her theft has essentially doubled his student loan debt. Dave is only so calm because its a small number. She robbed 12/25k of the debt. If one of the medical students called in saying I have £200k of debt and its due to my parents fraudulently borrowing 100k he would be saying report it.
Agreed, he's probably also trying to be "gentle" as emotions in such close relationships as a mother are not something to overlook. Very sad, I never thought I should be grateful for honest parents💔
So sad. Sadder yet he seems to kind of play it down, "She's been great in other ways." Yeah, well, stealing from your child's student loans kind of negates the other 'good', as far as I'm concerned. A thief is a thief, and there's not much lower than stealing from family, especially your own child.
K H-C Stockholm Syndrome.
Until you're in that sort of situation, you can't really judge. No, it doesn't negate. On an intellectual level, you think it would, but psychologically, it doesn't work that way. So stop making it sound so simple just so you can feel better about yourself with your virtue signaling. It's really annoying when people do that.
Assuming stealing was the only thing she did. Let's say she was badly in debt, saw that money, and just gave into temptation. (Which is the only thing we have evidence of what happened, so we're going to assume that.) This guy is battling with two versions of his mother. The loving caring woman who raised him. And now he has this version who was willing to steal from him. And it is difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile those two versions.
And guess what? It's okay for him to feel that way. That is the natural part of dealing with betrayal. It's actually a very healthy way to deal with it. The way you want to deal with betrayal, which is just get angry and forget all the good a person is, is actually very unhealthy. Your way doesn't give chance to reconcile conflicting feelings. And what that leads to is bitterness. You would think that would be a good thing, but it isn't. Bitterness blocks the ability to think and reason. It causes preoccupation with the betrayal and that can cause a person to be unable to function.
I think the son knows if he curses (says anything bad about) his mother, you automatically curse your life. He's doing his best.
You do realize most college students are still being taken care of by their parents right? When they are initially filing for Financial Aid and Loans they aren't even 18 yet. Parents are very much involved in finances of college students because the kids are broke! They are kids. Being over 18 doesn't automatically make you a "grown man". College students are mostly still just kids. That's what is backwards about our society. Kids are taken care of until they are 18 by their parents, get ZERO financial education through school and then all of a sudden when they are 18 they are expected to be "grown men and women" when they are nothing close. They're kids.
It is his mom. If she faced eviction, she should have asked to borrow it and given him a payback timeline. Hopefully, it went to a good cause and not something stupid like a new car. I have never even thought to have my parents cosign students loans. They would refuse. One of my siblings tried to go to a private school and my dad refused to sign and said that is too much and to go to a Community college and take loans which are not absurd. My parents are not easy to manipulate nor do they manipulate people financially. We all had to work hard and get good grades and earn scholarships and take loans in our own names. Tough love they have. They also tell us to pay it off and not go off running around vacationing like we have no school loans.
He needs to discuss with her how she plans on paying it back. So sad.
Maybe on her next big win at the casino.
Hopefully went towards a house and not some depreciating asset like a car.
@TheLifeBidder It is a depreciating asset bud
@@fabulouslifeinchrist1349 Probably went to $1 lottery scratchers and cheap cigarettes.
She will randomly start crying and lie “LITTE
JOHNNY IS HIRTING ME “
There is no relationship until she stops stealing and seeks forgiveness.
This happens way more often than people speak up. It's one of the hardest positions people can be put in. You basically have to choose between being called things like "ungrateful", or letting your mother devastate your life.
This isn't about money. She is upset and having a hard time as an emotional manipulation technique. I've experienced many things just like this. He should do what he has to do to cut ties with her. He should tell the truth to any younger siblings and walk away from his mother for good.
? It is about money
@@johnk3841 , And Emotional Manipulation
@@johnk3841 Money is the tool she is using. I would say her life is a mess for reasons other than money. If money was the problem, she would have asked first.
Having a toxic parent is really messed up. 😩confront her. She won’t pay you back. Cut her off financially. Do not give that woman a dime ever again. Monitor your credit. Keep her at ARMS LENGTH! Let her know if she wants to stay in your life you will have boundaries and need to protect yourself. Look out for #1.
Happened to me too. Word of advice. Never let parents manage your money.
Very glad I discovered this channel Dave.
Camden Dave Ramsey has changed my whole life. I started my own brand and channel based on the principles Dave teaches.
My parents tried to steal from me for the first time when I was about 8 years old... Didn't get better over time. I have been no contact for a long time now, it feels sooo much better. They were toxic in many other aspects too. Some people simply don't deserve to call themselves parents.
I've been a victim of financial child abuse. This is why I don't judge others when hearing parent child stories because it is possible the PARENT is the messed up irresponsible one.
Thelondonbadger Sounds like you have a problem with women, buddy.. and a MASSIVE over-generalization. No, most women are not like that.
ltbrooks you mean some arent like that?
@Thelondonbadger really? bc my financial abuse came from my dad. Sorry but this comes from both male and female parents.
@Thelondonbadger only women you know.
@Thelondonbadger I don't shack up. I pay my husband's mortgage. Before we met I was going to aviation school. I had the degree and license. I have an IT degree. He's about to graduate Electrical engineering this May. I paid for my own Pilot's license. It's the opposite way for us. Most of my girlfriends have helped their husbands get through school.
He should pull his credit report and sign up for Lifelock or something. Such a sad situation.
You're right, this is probably not all she's done
Not sure lifelock would help with student federal loans because they don't check your credit report. That's the problem with student loans.
The main reason I signed up for life lock and a different credit monitoring service before that was because I could see my father taking out credit using my Ssn. If he had done it, I would have prosecuted him
and put a credit freeze on all 3 bureaus!
sadly there are people out there who thinks that because they brought you into this world, that they own you.
What a nightmare. I wish you the best man. I can't imagine not being able to rely on family.
Parents like this tell themselves that they made the child therefore the kids owe them this.
Exactly!
I would counter with he didn't choose to be born in this world
Whenever my student loans would come in my mom would start asking me for money. I would have to lie about how much I had.
Boundaries and courage. I've seen this with some people, particularly women I know or dated. The reason is went on is because they were scared to say no, had this idea "well it's my mom" and didn't have the courage to speak up about it. My mother raised me and my sister to stand up and speak up for ourselves no matter what happens but always be respectful to people. This translated to us being able to openly talk about everything.
Don't ever lie, you have to say look, I love you, I know you want this or that but this is my money and I need to do what I need to do with it. College money is debt money, it's not free money, I have to pay this back and I can't just give it out. College money is also my responsibility to handle, you don't need to know how much I have nor when it arrives, same with my work money or income tax.
I am an adult, my finances are mine, not yours. There must be boundaries here. If she gets mad, so what. Continue helping or paying rent or whatever you do that is reasonable for your parents but set boundaries because some people parent or not or bad or out of control and unfortunately some are actually evil.
Same thing happened to a friend. She told her dad that she paid her tuition and books etc and was broke.
This makes me so grateful for my trustworthy and generous parents. Extremely sad that there's "parents" like this.
I had an ex boyfriend who’s mom took his FASFA money to renovate their kitchen. I ran from that relationship
Wow that is so sad
Danielle Mceachern Ik!!!
@@thebookofkate812 When you are around people like that....it is sad to say it....but you have to keep your income a secret or they will take it and waste it
You smart, but he may have been a good guy and needed your support at the time. It wasn't his fault:(
And there would be nothing left for you?
I'm a mother. This is not normal. Cut her off and if she says anything to you - don't let her off the hook, call her out and allow her to feel the shame. Otherwise, this won't stop.
Agree. I could never do this to my son. We are suppose to empower them to be financialy responsible; not put them in debt. I would cut her off with the quickness.
Mom is a bad human being. Get as far away as possible and tell people you are an orphan.
"and not ruin the relationship with my mother".... bro, she already ruined... she did it to herself, I'd stop talking to her forever. I can cut people off so fast, its kinda scary.
This one just fires me up
EXACTLY what happened to me. My parents said “Eric do good in school and dad and I will take of everything.” For 6 years she was maxing out my student loans. Grand total of amount stolen $169,000 as of today. I refused to pay. So I moved to Asia to teach English. The cost of living is so low and I make good money I live fine. But my salary in Asia is considered low in America. So I owe $0 every month. Just food for thought from those that this has happened too.
How awful.
@@annehajdu8654 Thats only the beginning, she ran up over $100k in credit cards. I had to file chapter 7 and once that was finished I moved to South Korea.
Never thought I should be grateful for honest parents. 💔❤ can't imagine going through something like this.
The caller doesn't seem to be upset so I'm guessing this is just the way things are in the family. I have that in my family.
But, It's Not Healthy.
He might be upset, but he might feel guilty about admitting that.
My own mother did something similar. She did this with credit at Sears to get a new washer. She swore that she and my brother would pay the bills but never did. I refuse to help her financially any more because she's never paid anything and it's been years.
when I was a kid my mother badgered me never to spend Christmas and Birthday money I got from my grandparents, and to save it in the bank. By the time I turned 13 , all those $5 and $10 checks I saved my entire little life was then over $200. She then stole my money... and the "offered me $200 " to run away from home , as I was cramping style re: her dating/ many marriages lifestyle . I didn't run away, so she kicked me out. Never saw that $200. I feel bad for this kid, but the money debt from theft is the least of what you need to get out of your life. I pray he is doing well
This reminds me of the reddit story I recently heard where the parents took out student loans in the kid's name to buy a boat. He ended up being on the hook for about a third of it, if I recall, and the parents sold the boat and paid the rest. I also seem to recall that that he had to threaten pressing charges to make that happen. What is so angering about this is that they "felt entitled" to the boat and never blinked an eye regarding how they went about it and had the gall to be outraged that he confronted them with their theft. Unbelievable.
My mom borrowed money from me while I was in community college nursing degree program. I was so broke and she never paid me back. I got my electricity and water cut off
:o
This is very heartbreaking! Basically he needs to transfer all the money in HIS name and cut all joint account he has with her OUT. I also knew a Mom and Dad who did drugs and were slobs and not good people and had 3 kids and opened bank accounts and credit cards in their children names who were UNDER 10 years old. I feel bad for the kids because when they get older they will have bad credit and be largely in debt because of there parents! I think thats awful to destroy credit and steal from your own children!!
Wow, what a dead beat mom. I feel so bad for him, sounds like he loves mom and is more concerned about how it will affect her than himself and I think that makes him a kind soul. I cannot wrap my mind around parents that do this sort of thing. I would have sacrificed so much to protect my kids from this sort of thing. Mom or Dad should be the last person you have to worry about and the first person to have your back.
Just seeing this video now... my mother did the same thing to me my senior year of college, almost 10 years ago. She has been asking for money since and is about to lose her home. It doesn’t stop!
I’m a single father of two daughters and no child support, both of my girls are in college and I couldn’t imagine trying to put them into debt. How do u start ur child’s life off in the hole? Horrible parenting.
I have an emotional con artist for a mother too.
Havent talked to her in 7 years.
She is a toxic person. Run man
So happy I was the only one who could access my money and bank papers from the age of 14.
It was my money and my responsibility as my dad said at the time to this date.
Therese Engtro Sounds like you have a good dad.
Thelondonbadger my parents do the same thing for me and I’m black
Therese Engtro my parents told me the same thing & was the only one with access unless I died then it went to my older sister but no one had access to my account till I died lol (FYI) I’m Mexican
Therese Engtro exactly my parents opened an account for me that would default to mine at age 18 as a college fund. At 16 I asked for it to be given to me, they then signed it over to me only my name on the account and I have since used it for small investments.
Parents like this should be put in jail! Stealing from your kids? It doesn't get any lower than that!
I know all about this scenario! Student loans are only for educational purposes & living expenses while a student is enrolled in college, not for one's parents to go off to Europe with!!!
This is so sad. My mother is the same way, when my bank account was linked to hers she would just go in and steal money. And LIE to me about it. I closed that account and setting boundaries. I'm a mother and would never do this to my child.
I got a school refund check back in 2006 for 1500 and my mom took ALL of it.
Same. Got one for $5000 and my mom took every dime of it.
Sound like mommy boy tell her pay it back or you’ll sue her I sued my own mom for stealing my inheritance that my grandma left me
Hopefully you won!
Glad you took up for yourself!!!
Suing in this situation is a really dumb financial move.
Wow my mom did that to ...some parents dont wanna see there kids do good in life and get what they want
Unfortunately, even if you press charges, law enforcement may not prosecute. That is what happened to us, the cops felt they have more important crimes to deal with than identity theft.
layman75 you need to call the Identity Theft Hotline.
Brianna CC it is too late now, it has been years. They were arrested recently but the charge was too old and couldn't be used.
True but if its fraud they will take your name off the loans. Well thats what happened with me.
It's almost like we need an ''Adulting'' law enforcement program, just to help kids move on and stuff.
If you can prove the fact that the student money was not used for your benefit,you can sue her and get a judgement. Whether she will ever pay or not is another question but she will have that judgement hanging over her for life. Love is love and money is money. Karma is a b*tch and she will need you one day.
My son spent all 4 years of college at home. I paid al his expenses and books and a new computer. 1 time I asked him for $300 for rent out of his left over grant money (not loan money) because I was tight- I felt awful and never asked for anything ever again.
You do not need to feel bad about that. He had the extra & you did so much for him - don’t feel guilty, mom.
Hey grandma why the cable company say I owe them 500?
This happens to kids from poor families all the time. This caller should file a police report and contact fafsa to tell them the loan was taken fraudently. Then move on and keep her away from your money and most of your life.
Wow and to think that there are parents like that out there. Great advise Mr. Ramsey! Even if they're our parents, there are certain things that are unacceptable.
Children Going Their Own Way
Perfect.
ChiGTOW
His mother’s tears may be so that she can continue.
Ramsey is right that parents who do this are crazy because such parents are often appropriately abandoned when they age.
It amazes me when parents do this! My daughter told me about a couple of her college friends that had parents open credit cards in the student's name and maxed them out! Never, in my wildest dreams, would I have thought of doing this to my child! I also worked with a young lady whose parents took out the maximum amount they could for Parent Plus loans. They used it for vacations, new cars, etc. Not one dime went toward her education. They now want her to help them repay it. She asked my advice, and I told her since it wasn't used for her education, I would NOT give them one dime. They were foolish and now how to suffer the consequences.
I had a friend 18 years ago whose mom trashed her credit while she was under aged. She tried to get her own apartment the day she turned 18 and she couldn’t get even a dumpy apartment because every time they did a credit check on her and it looked like she was a deadbeat. Poor girl had to live with friends who rented her a room. She spent almost a decade cleaning up her credit.
This is what happens when you don’t have a financial plan after child support stops
My dad told me it was better for him to claim my kids on his taxes when I was a young single mom I didn’t know any better he was an accountant! I got a notification from the IRS and was properly educated by them and told me that in no way shape or form to have my father do my taxes EVER again and the he was taking advantage of me by claiming them when I was able to get an earned income credit ect. I blew up like a maniac on my Dad and even though it’s been years now, I will NEVER forget how my own father could do such a thing to me I was 19 years old with twin babies and he was able to take from me and my own kids. I have forgiven but I will NEVER forget.
What a betrayal by one's own parent!
my parents borrowed a lot of money from me 6 years ago and when it came time for them to pay me back all i got was excuses and more promises that they later broke also.
they still owe me to this day
You don't lend money to family. Either you gift it or you say no but you don't lend it.
You can't be that dumb. You don't lend to your parents, you give them. At least that's how it works with mine. My mother never says lend, she says give and it's quite obvious you won't get a dime back.
@@sblijheid He is a student. The mother had control over his finances. So, he did not have funds to give to his parents. His parent stole his money.
This is a delicate situation and very sad.
Watching shows like this really make me appreciate my Parents... I am really blessed 🙏🏽
You are blessed i love my parents but bc of their finciancial irresponsibility and repeatrd mistakes they have put huge financial burden and debt on me
@@daebak7370 Can relate.
My mother thinks she’s entitled to have my student loan so she can play the lottery and when i don’t she calls me selfish
Amazing how he is the one worried about not messing up their relationship.
@Thelondonbadger Victims generally have empathy (that's how the abusers raised/chose them), abusers do not.
I really like how Mr. Ramsey can empathize with anyone's situation.
Dave Ramsey really needs to start a Dr. Phil-like interview show where people share drama about family money issues.
...he did...you're here...this is it...
Financial child abuse? Wow. I’ve never heard that term before but it really exemplifies what I’ve been going through with my parents.
This is probably a bigger problem that what society thinks. It's covered up by saying do it for your parents out of "love" for raising you.
@@charc4814 yup
I'm so sorry for him, unfortunately like he said it happens more often than you'd think. protect yourself and your financial future from your family.
Press charges!
Weird because my kids’ student loans wouldn’t even pay for all of their expenses. How is it that there’s student loan money left to steal?
Heartbreaking
My brother had to press charges on my dad for taking out a large student loan in his name. Idk how he was able to do it when my Brother was very young. My brother found out at age 19 smh
Guys, family isn't everything 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
So you would cut off ties with your mother if she started losing her mind?
Is it everything, when they behave like a family. Some people, however, have to find their family elsewhere.
I've had my KIDS and my SIL steal my and my husband's identity. This is not a pretty situation.
loriloristuff far out!
I can't comprehend taking money from my child. What a very sad situation this is. I hope they can both sort this out and move forward. It sounds like she needs help and he seems like a level headed young man. Good luck to them both.
I had a Mom like that. I joined the Army and while in basic/AIT, she took out a store credit card in my name.
Her and I have the same name, same address so the store didn’t look at her social or birthday. She racked up $1,000 in 6 months.
Once I got to my first duty station, I changed my addresses on all my card and stirs I had a card at(3 in total) that’s when the bills came to me and I saw what she had been doing.
I called her and confronted her. She said she thought I wouldn’t mind. I said I did and demanded her to send me the card. She goes - what! You don’t trust me?
I said - look what you did. If I had done that to you what would you do?
She refused to send me the card so I hung up and canceled the card.
She was not going to pay the card off, she had No intention to. I was making Money and she wasn’t.
To save what I could of the relationship I paid the bill off and never mentioned it again. I also told the store that I was canceling my account all together and if one was created I wasn’t going to pay cause it wouldn’t be me.
The other two cards (1 bank/debit card and the other another store credit card) I called them up and told them that I was now at this location. If anyone buys anything at this location then they were to call the cops for thrift cause I no longer lived in that state.
This was before online shopping before 2000.
The stores took it very seriously and I never got a bill that I did not buy the item.
Mom did try but the store shut her down.
I don’t blame her, she was on SSI, too sick to work and 2 brothers bleeding her dry cause they thought they were going tot be the first ones where women supported the men. She died about 2 years later. The brothers were kicked to the curb. They both blame me for their predicament.
Never mind they have college educations, I don’t, they refuse to work in their degree. Yes, they are still single. They say it’s by choice.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hope your doing well, you handled the situation really well, the worst part about these situations are the weak minded victims/ children who are weak minded and can't accept the fact that their parents are scumbags
Parents always makes excuses for everything but expect their children to not make anything
My mom did this to me too. She was a cosigner though. She took probably 2k or something. I forget. I bought a safe and started putting everything in my safe. She's had credit card problems for years and I believe she told me my dad wouldn't cosign (I think she lied). She stole a check i think if I remember. Which was money I used while at college and I would put any leftover money in savings.
I’m wondering what he is majoring in if he didn’t notice 12k missing out of his loans I would have caught on after the first 100 dollars
Mike Arredondo How would you notice if the paperwork goes to her house and he just sees money pop up in his account?
triad6425 isn’t it 2018 u get award letter emails u could even walk into your school and figure out from the financial aid office he must be one of those kids getting a PhD in German polka
In the clip he said marketing.
that's one of "those degrees" in my opinion but who am I
He might not have paid attention because he doesn't know especially if he's a first generation college student like I was. I didn't even understand how financial aid worked until my 3rd year, but I was accepted into one of the top ten business schools in the nation.
Some people have no self respect. I cannot imagine stealing from my children; I would be ashamed as a parent to have not figured out my own finances. Usually it’s the kids asking us for money.
Happens more often than u think smdh
You're Right.
People just don’t speak up
You can’t trust family. A hard life lesson.
Something similar happened to me when I was 19 years old. It took me 10 years to get out of debt. I still support her financially to this day. Not that she deserves it, but because I deserve peace.
You must be making a good living because I could not do this.
Dave, you are a mensch. Fine work. Lotsa compash
This is exactly why I lied to my parents about how much I actually make. Not they'd go this far but that they have in the past taken money that belonged to me.
If you have to lie, there's already a problem. I think people need to be honest with themselves about the kind of relationship they have with their parents and confront it; don't shrink away. You'll feel better about yourself and if they listen to you it can change for the better. Personally I wouldn't lie, I'd ask my parent or parent(s) if they trust me, did they raise me well? Have I not shown I make good decisions? am I not an adult? I love you, but my salary, my checks, my finances is not your concern. Even if an emergency happens, you know how much you make or have to assist in your family, no need to tell them, it's either, I can help or can't help or I can give x amount. If they get mad when you sit down and talk to them in a normal tone, not disrespectful, so what.
Similar thing happened to me... mom borrowed $2000 cash for her business. Money that was suppose to be towards me moving out... now I want to move out soon and have way less money to do it with
Edit: I want to move out in the next 6 months. I want to set a boundary with her that I need my money back in full in 6 months (it’s already been about 9? Months), but anytime I bring it up it blows up into a huge family argument about how “we can’t pay you back we’re to poor” what should I do?? And by borrowed, I mean she took it totally without my permission.
That’s not borrowing love, she literally stole from you. I’d tell her we need to set up a payment plan for how she’s gonna pay you back or I’d file a police thief report cause $2000 is not a joke. How are you doing btw?
In my country, it may take time to resolve this issue in court (because the national judicial process is very slow) but the culprit will finally have to pay everything he stole, plus a daily rate for each day he hasn't paid the money back, starting from the day you send him an extrajudicial notice to him stating that you will take legal action if he doesn't pay back in a certain time-frame. Also, the costs of the proceedings and the lawyer's fee are considerably low compared to other countries. God, I can't' imagine what this guy must've felt when he found out. He's clearly still in denial, he can't see her as anything but a loving person...
I went through a similar situation with my dad when I was in school. He has credit cards in my name, as well as his car business and insurance. A lot of the student loans I received for school went towards his own interest and now I have to pay 33K in student debt and I'm gonna have to pay for it myself.
His business is in your name? I'd start looking into a legal way for compensation since you'd actually own it.
my mom was like this and is still like this
but the way in which i deal with her has changed
be loving but be strong
dont let their bs taint what you do
I’d make her pay me back the money she stole and if she refused I would warn her then take her to court.
What the heck? I can't imagine how a mother could or would steal from her own child! I would have her arrested immediately!
Im so blessed with my parents. It’s sad that see many kids grow up with parents who are hurting their chances to succeed
WOW....it is horrible when one's mother is a criminal...
Why do people refuse to accept that they have evil parents? Most parents are evil and they are the reason why kids act out in school nowadays.
In my 20s I pulled my report and found out that my mother had a card opened in my name for $1380 and never paid it. I would’ve been in eighth grade.
This is just sad. A no win situation. But he must shut it down. He cannot enable a thief.