Here are some tips. These have worked for me. First refuse to yell or fight. Second, refuse any abuse or accepting any insult or being demeaned. Simply state I will not accept you talking that way to me and walk away. Third focus on positive things about your spouse. And forth, and most importantly pray for your spouse every morning and every evening .
Love your videos Dr. Paul. It feels like this is exactly what I did 3 years ago in my marriage to save it from infidelity on his part and here I am now with a new discovery of lies. These tips sound great and are exactly what I want to do again but I feel like it’ll make him think “oh wow, she’s so nice and positive, I definitely don’t deserve this, lemme try my best to be better” but they don’t really change or see their nasty behavior deep down and repeat it again months or years later. 🤷🏾♀️ not so sure you can actually save a marriage by yourself. PS: your parenting videos are GOLDEN!!
Thank you for commenting, annamwale. You might want to consider some counseling to get to the root of the problem if it keeps happening. There is more going on.
Do I really need to say that how great advice is? We expect too much, I mean TOO MUCH, from other person. And what we do ourselves, hardly much. I think that's create downward spiral and we drift apart. You are suggesting to do just opposite, create upward spiral of positive behaviour. Since adopting new behaviour requires great effort that's where we all start to fail. May because we're wired to stay lazy. But IMO putting such effort is worth it. I'll do 95-5. My sincere gratitude to you for spreading knowledge and awareness. You are awesome Paul. Your idea of leveraging technology and reaching out to everyone is great. You are doing great service to humanity.
I really appreciate your video 🙏. I am 36 and I am now going to save myself for marriage. But from 18-35 I would base relationships on sex and end up in a lot of heartbreak because I over trusted the person and they ended up not being the right person for me. And I went through a lot of regret by having sex with former lovers. It’s like a heroine injection the level of addicted you become to the person once you sleep with them. And although it took me 36 years to realize this, I think that when we save ourselves for our partners when we’re married, we will bring in the right person and avoid wasting your time on people who only want our bodies. I wish I would’ve had this level of insight back then. I guess it’s never too late. ☺️💗
Recently married just a few months the 4th time. And so is the the same for my spouse, Unfortunately Infidelity already taken place from his side and also learnt he is obsessed with legs & feet. We are sperated for now and will do what u said as I believe everyone has issues with themselves. And since We married for good or bad I need to get back in my feet and try my best to help myself and him. Thank you so much.
Teela Sarvi, it sounds like you are in the right frame of mind - people make mistakes, you married for good or bad, and you are willing to put effort into the marriage. If you are interested in more videos on this subject please visit our "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg.html. Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV.
Please help me. My husband of over 20 years, who was a pastor, has left me three months ago. Due to a law for divorce, he feels he must live under separate roofs with a male friend for a year. He lost his job as well due to an emotional affair that has recently become more physical. He still comes home each day, I still cook, clean and do his laundry even. We have been distant for a long time, but I have drastically changed through deep prayer and repentance. On many occasion, I have asked forgiveness and admitted that I have hurt him by not always being there for him. My husband does not see that anything can change between us. He knows his choices and divorce is wrong and against Gods law. I have been trying to be there for him through everything, even losing his job too. I am showing him the unconditional love and grace the Lord gave us on the cross. I and trying to love, honor and serve him as best I can without condemning him or anything and telling him that the Lord and I can forgive. I am praying fervently for the Lord to get a hold of his heart and intervene in this situation. Any tips?? Please help me. I truly want to save my marriage.
here's several things for saving your partnership Try to discuss more Cooperate with each other more Try to give and take more (I read these and the reasons they work on Mirykal Marriage Plan site )
@André Pereira here's a few ideas for making improvements in your marriage Try to talk more Cooperate with each other more Start to give and take more (I discovered these and why they work from Mirykal marriage plan website )
If you are sure they are as in have Narcissist Personality Disorder/ aka Sociopath, then get the hell out of there. Sorry but sociopaths are completely different species of people devoid of any empathy. I went into business with one and boy was that stressful (and expensive). Nothing you can do would be any good. Standard rules don't apply. Run like hell. I am truly grateful that my wife is not one.
I married to one. I did all the above plus walking around eggshells but that was still not enough for him. He divorced me anyway. I think it was because I failed to tell him that he was so right and brilliant and I was so wrong and worthless. l really was not perfect. All I can say is at least I tried my hardest. Be prepared to work like you've never worked before and always have a smile on your face no matter what. That might work. Respect and more power to you and whoever's trying to make their marriage work 👍👊
My spouse and I get along fine but he is always angry and argues with so many friends and family that some have pulled away. He says he will no longer put up with all those narcissists. Huh? I told we him we all have a bit of that in us. Not sure how to live with this. He has changed. Today I told him I will no longer be in the middle of his drama! But when it involves my family and our children, I’m not sure how to stay away from this because they ask me what issues are. 🤷♀️
Tricia Simon, figure out what you can control and what you can't. Stay in the control lane and when it comes to your family and children, help them to see the same thing. You might want to consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
here's a few things for saving your partnership Try to communicate more Help each other out more Start to give and take more (I discovered these and why they work on Pavs Partner Pundit website )
dranurag22, well, mine, Pathological Positivity. All relationships are better once we get positive and in an abundance mentality. Beyond that, there are some good ones. I like Dr. John Gottman's work on the subject.
James p, there will come a point where you understand that you have done what you could. You have to decide what you are willing to do and for how long. If you need some coaching, get in touch with one of our Live On Purpose Coaches.
dranurag22, I am not sure if you mean parents trying to save their own marriage or that of their children? I would just say get clear on what you control and what you don't, then begin to work on what you have control over.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV My spouses parents...they r on very good terms with me n of course her... can i take their help to re establish our communication amd hence help our sinking ship in marriage?
Thank you, FGTV Adam, for watching the video and putting forth effort in your marriage. Would you and your husband be open to marriage counseling? Sometimes it takes a little outside perspective with a professional who knows how to get both spouses to heal the relationship. We have a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches available to get you started. If you would like to take advantage of that, please go here to schedule: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Wife and I are separated couple months and just had baby ( 5days old), can marriage be saved using your tips?? Though living apart. Thank you. NZ❤ God bless
Well, it depends on what needs to be better in your life. You are pretty confident that you will be here by 8:00 so do something before then that will make your life better. Practice, read, talk or listen to someone. It depends on what you need to work on. Work on that and you will be a little better by 8:00 tonight.
If my husband had all those great attributes would I be here!!!! Husbands are wonderful until you marry them. Then everything good goes out the window!!!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I never nor will I state that BUT i have been married twice!!! I gave 110% they gave maybe 10%. I think my ex gave 2% meaning a paycheck. I see lots of stuff on marriage. I talk to lots of woman. Men dont love there wives after they " Conquer" them!!! Its sad.
I'm not trying to be a jerk and make fun of anyone but have you been checked for parkinsons disease? My grandmother had very similer movements before she was diagnosed.
Its been 6 months we got married and I left my country Finland to be with my husband. When I got there everything was sweet he was good to me , sometimes came home with cake and wine surprise me,would do everything and laugh lot. During that 2months we had small stupid arguments but always the next day go back to normal and I do admit maybe at times I said something wrong and I didn't realize it or didn't do hes laundry and he did told me to do them cuz hes needing to wear it for work tomorrow and I kept saying yeah yeah I will later, so there were times like that one I might been at fault but he never address the issue right away at that moment so it would prevent them from building inside him. At the moment I am at Finland because we talked I go back give back my rented house and sell my stuff and also do my dentist here and see family for last time. We would video call everyday and voice call, he would message me but all that changes on April 10th 2021. I remember we were video chatting and I don't know what I said but I think he misunderstood it and plus the other things he's been holding inside he just exploded I guess. He hung up the call on me and after that he has been ignoring me and little changed I guess ( by changed i mean before he was sweet to me and even bought my return ticket back but now he's canceled the flight and told me I should buy it for September). Since that day I did call ,message send photos of me and even email but no response. One day I just got message from him saying that he needs time to clear hes thoughts and need time. And I panick and I have been sad,crying all day and night and also lost in apetite/lost sleep also. I was suppose to go back next month 14th but now he says since he canceled the flight and I have to buy it on my own, he changed to September. So I he said he wants us be separated till then and also me buying my own ticket. What should I do? How can I get my Sweet husband back that he was before ? For now he treats me kinda cold , differently. He says he do miss me and loves me and that there's no other women. So what should I do ? I am desperate for help or advice. I have been watching TH-cam for some info since I have not much money for counseling or stuff. I am trying till September save money for my ticket. Please help me ... I am desperate for it
I am not sure what you can do. Maybe the two of you can get a counselor and talk through the problems or make a plan for when you return, what that will look like. Have you talked about what each of you wants out of life?
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yes we did talked about going to counseling when im back. But he told me to come back on semptember instead of next month and he did cancel my ticket so he told me I buy it for September. Now it's been few days hes not talking or calling. I do admit my mistakes that sometimes I did yell or scream because of little things or when I cleaned the house I would be so sensitive if he just leave hes shirt or towel on floor . I'm trying fix my part and become better wife. But I'm very sad for this silent treatment hes giving me. I miss hes voice and everything. I do watch out photos and videos all the time .
Here are some tips. These have worked for me. First refuse to yell or fight. Second, refuse any abuse or accepting any insult or being demeaned. Simply state I will not accept you talking that way to me and walk away. Third focus on positive things about your spouse. And forth, and most importantly pray for your spouse every morning and every evening .
Thank you for the tips, they are great.
Love your videos Dr. Paul. It feels like this is exactly what I did 3 years ago in my marriage to save it from infidelity on his part and here I am now with a new discovery of lies. These tips sound great and are exactly what I want to do again but I feel like it’ll make him think “oh wow, she’s so nice and positive, I definitely don’t deserve this, lemme try my best to be better” but they don’t really change or see their nasty behavior deep down and repeat it again months or years later. 🤷🏾♀️ not so sure you can actually save a marriage by yourself. PS: your parenting videos are GOLDEN!!
Thank you for commenting, annamwale. You might want to consider some counseling to get to the root of the problem if it keeps happening. There is more going on.
Thanks Dr. Paul. I have my appointment for next Saturday :-) hoping he will come along. thanks again.
Idk how it is now, 3 yrs later, but I'm saying a prayer for you!
@@annamwale how are things now??
Do I really need to say that how great advice is?
We expect too much, I mean TOO MUCH, from other person. And what we do ourselves, hardly much. I think that's create downward spiral and we drift apart. You are suggesting to do just opposite, create upward spiral of positive behaviour. Since adopting new behaviour requires great effort that's where we all start to fail. May because we're wired to stay lazy. But IMO putting such effort is worth it. I'll do 95-5.
My sincere gratitude to you for spreading knowledge and awareness. You are awesome Paul.
Your idea of leveraging technology and reaching out to everyone is great. You are doing great service to humanity.
Sounds like you are on your way to a better relationship in 2019, Sandy *.
I really appreciate your video 🙏. I am 36 and I am now going to save myself for marriage. But from 18-35 I would base relationships on sex and end up in a lot of heartbreak because I over trusted the person and they ended up not being the right person for me. And I went through a lot of regret by having sex with former lovers. It’s like a heroine injection the level of addicted you become to the person once you sleep with them. And although it took me 36 years to realize this, I think that when we save ourselves for our partners when we’re married, we will bring in the right person and avoid wasting your time on people who only want our bodies. I wish I would’ve had this level of insight back then. I guess it’s never too late. ☺️💗
Feona Lee Jones, never too late to make better choices.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you 💗🙏
Thank u so much . I really needed this. For sake of my kids we need to be together and be happy
THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH! This came right when I need it the most. Gratitude is the key🙏🙏🙏💖
ROSIE112109, Gratitude it is vital. Thank you for watching.
Were you able to save your marriage? I'm going through something now and I just need some hope
@@dnell9889 how are things now?
This helped me more than I could ever say. Thank you.
Eric Talbert, you are welcome.
Recently married just a few months the 4th time. And so is the the same for my spouse, Unfortunately Infidelity already taken place from his side and also learnt he is obsessed with legs & feet. We are sperated for now and will do what u said as I believe everyone has issues with themselves. And since We married for good or bad I need to get back in my feet and try my best to help myself and him. Thank you so much.
Teela Sarvi, it sounds like you are in the right frame of mind - people make mistakes, you married for good or bad, and you are willing to put effort into the marriage. If you are interested in more videos on this subject please visit our "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg.html. Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV.
Please help me. My husband of over 20 years, who was a pastor, has left me three months ago. Due to a law for divorce, he feels he must live under separate roofs with a male friend for a year. He lost his job as well due to an emotional affair that has recently become more physical. He still comes home each day, I still cook, clean and do his laundry even. We have been distant for a long time, but I have drastically changed through deep prayer and repentance. On many occasion, I have asked forgiveness and admitted that I have hurt him by not always being there for him. My husband does not see that anything can change between us. He knows his choices and divorce is wrong and against Gods law. I have been trying to be there for him through everything, even losing his job too. I am showing him the unconditional love and grace the Lord gave us on the cross. I and trying to love, honor and serve him as best I can without condemning him or anything and telling him that the Lord and I can forgive. I am praying fervently for the Lord to get a hold of his heart and intervene in this situation. Any tips?? Please help me. I truly want to save my marriage.
Continue what you are doing, realizing that the only person you can control is yourself. Sorry for your sadness, Faith Hope Love.
Dear Faithhopelove, how things are going? God bless you,.
Thanks for this video, the truth is I never had any dating relationships but I would see if I can watch this again when I do.
Great idea.
Thank you, I’m applying these lessons today.
Wonderful!
Thank you so much for your amazing videos!
Thanks, Andre Pereira. Honored to have you at the channel.
A question: do those advises are still useful when you are married with a Narcissist?
If they aren't too narcissistic. It could take longer and need more spelling out as to what the problem is and how it affects the relationship.
here's several things for saving your partnership
Try to discuss more
Cooperate with each other more
Try to give and take more
(I read these and the reasons they work on Mirykal Marriage Plan site )
@André Pereira here's a few ideas for making improvements in your marriage
Try to talk more
Cooperate with each other more
Start to give and take more
(I discovered these and why they work from Mirykal marriage plan website )
If you are sure they are as in have Narcissist Personality Disorder/ aka Sociopath, then get the hell out of there. Sorry but sociopaths are completely different species of people devoid of any empathy. I went into business with one and boy was that stressful (and expensive). Nothing you can do would be any good. Standard rules don't apply. Run like hell. I am truly grateful that my wife is not one.
I married to one. I did all the above plus walking around eggshells but that was still not enough for him. He divorced me anyway. I think it was because I failed to tell him that he was so right and brilliant and I was so wrong and worthless. l really was not perfect. All I can say is at least I tried my hardest. Be prepared to work like you've never worked before and always have a smile on your face no matter what. That might work. Respect and more power to you and whoever's trying to make their marriage work 👍👊
My spouse and I get along fine but he is always angry and argues with so many friends and family that some have pulled away. He says he will no longer put up with all those narcissists. Huh? I told we him we all have a bit of that in us. Not sure how to live with this. He has changed. Today I told him I will no longer be in the middle of his drama! But when it involves my family and our children, I’m not sure how to stay away from this because they ask me what issues are. 🤷♀️
Tricia Simon, figure out what you can control and what you can't. Stay in the control lane and when it comes to your family and children, help them to see the same thing. You might want to consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Will this work if we have already separated but not divorced?
I’m grateful to you! Thank you!
You are welcome. Precious Song Flower. Honored to be on ou team.
here's a few things for saving your partnership
Try to communicate more
Help each other out more
Start to give and take more
(I discovered these and why they work on Pavs Partner Pundit website )
Any book you recommend to read for saving marriage? Thanks
dranurag22, well, mine, Pathological Positivity. All relationships are better once we get positive and in an abundance mentality. Beyond that, there are some good ones. I like Dr. John Gottman's work on the subject.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you sir..thats great help..appreciated..
@@dranurag22 You are welcome.
Might he a silly question but what is the other half of the list? Just things we are grateful about them in general?
Diana G., they could be.
What if you are doing 95% and push back of negative is 100%?
James p, there will come a point where you understand that you have done what you could. You have to decide what you are willing to do and for how long. If you need some coaching, get in touch with one of our Live On Purpose Coaches.
What is role of parents to rescue a marriage?
dranurag22, I am not sure if you mean parents trying to save their own marriage or that of their children? I would just say get clear on what you control and what you don't, then begin to work on what you have control over.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV My spouses parents...they r on very good terms with me n of course her... can i take their help to re establish our communication amd hence help our sinking ship in marriage?
Thank you!
You are welcome, Mariana Medina. Thank you for commenting.
What if I am doing this %95 and happily so but I have my husband bring out any excuse to pick something to fight or judge me about :( I am so fade up
Thank you, FGTV Adam, for watching the video and putting forth effort in your marriage. Would you and your husband be open to marriage counseling? Sometimes it takes a little outside perspective with a professional who knows how to get both spouses to heal the relationship. We have a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches available to get you started. If you would like to take advantage of that, please go here to schedule: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Thank you :)
You are welcome, Cat. : ) I'm glad you are finding value in the videos. Honored to be on your team.
Wife and I are separated couple months and just had baby ( 5days old), can marriage be saved using your tips?? Though living apart. Thank you. NZ❤ God bless
A For Jesus, I hope it can. Work on yourself and try to be the best dad you can be.
Yes!!! Just relax and work on yourself.
Please give us more specific details or examples about the "better by 8" part .. thanks
Well, it depends on what needs to be better in your life. You are pretty confident that you will be here by 8:00 so do something before then that will make your life better. Practice, read, talk or listen to someone. It depends on what you need to work on. Work on that and you will be a little better by 8:00 tonight.
sir, why r there so many proponents of no contact???
dranurag2, everyone's experiences are different.
If my husband had all those great attributes would I be here!!!! Husbands are wonderful until you marry them. Then everything good goes out the window!!!
LaRae Lawrence, sounds like you are speaking from a personal experience. Not all men are bad.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I never nor will I state that BUT i have been married twice!!! I gave 110% they gave maybe 10%. I think my ex gave 2% meaning a paycheck. I see lots of stuff on marriage. I talk to lots of woman. Men dont love there wives after they " Conquer" them!!! Its sad.
LaRae Lawrence
Hello
LaRae Lawrence
I Recommend this man who helped me get back husband
LaRae Lawrence
In the bricks of divorce and make him love me more
I'm not trying to be a jerk and make fun of anyone but have you been checked for parkinsons disease? My grandmother had very similer movements before she was diagnosed.
Robert Frayer, me? I do have a vocal disorder.
Its been 6 months we got married and I left my country Finland to be with my husband. When I got there everything was sweet he was good to me , sometimes came home with cake and wine surprise me,would do everything and laugh lot. During that 2months we had small stupid arguments but always the next day go back to normal and I do admit maybe at times I said something wrong and I didn't realize it or didn't do hes laundry and he did told me to do them cuz hes needing to wear it for work tomorrow and I kept saying yeah yeah I will later, so there were times like that one I might been at fault but he never address the issue right away at that moment so it would prevent them from building inside him.
At the moment I am at Finland because we talked I go back give back my rented house and sell my stuff and also do my dentist here and see family for last time. We would video call everyday and voice call, he would message me but all that changes on April 10th 2021. I remember we were video chatting and I don't know what I said but I think he misunderstood it and plus the other things he's been holding inside he just exploded I guess. He hung up the call on me and after that he has been ignoring me and little changed I guess ( by changed i mean before he was sweet to me and even bought my return ticket back but now he's canceled the flight and told me I should buy it for September).
Since that day I did call ,message send photos of me and even email but no response.
One day I just got message from him saying that he needs time to clear hes thoughts and need time. And I panick and I have been sad,crying all day and night and also lost in apetite/lost sleep also.
I was suppose to go back next month 14th but now he says since he canceled the flight and I have to buy it on my own, he changed to September. So I he said he wants us be separated till then and also me buying my own ticket.
What should I do? How can I get my Sweet husband back that he was before ?
For now he treats me kinda cold , differently. He says he do miss me and loves me and that there's no other women. So what should I do ? I am desperate for help or advice. I have been watching TH-cam for some info since I have not much money for counseling or stuff. I am trying till September save money for my ticket. Please help me ... I am desperate for it
I am not sure what you can do. Maybe the two of you can get a counselor and talk through the problems or make a plan for when you return, what that will look like. Have you talked about what each of you wants out of life?
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yes we did talked about going to counseling when im back. But he told me to come back on semptember instead of next month and he did cancel my ticket so he told me I buy it for September. Now it's been few days hes not talking or calling.
I do admit my mistakes that sometimes I did yell or scream because of little things or when I cleaned the house I would be so sensitive if he just leave hes shirt or towel on floor . I'm trying fix my part and become better wife. But I'm very sad for this silent treatment hes giving me. I miss hes voice and everything. I do watch out photos and videos all the time .