AITA For Taking My Nephew's Present and Giving it to My Son & DIL Wasn't Invited Due To Her Weight
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
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With Madi and Brandon
0:00 Brandon's Holiday Spirit
2:30 AITA For Telling My on That Village You Wanted Doesn't Exist Since You Burnt It To The Ground
3:36 Response
6:07 Top Comment and Response
10:50 AITA For Calling My Brother an "Insecure, Testicle Grabbing, Chauvinist Man-Baby over His Comments about My Wife's Makeup
13:05 Response
14:19 We Reenact It
16:38 Madi Butts into B and S's Thing (PROOOF)
17:17 Back to Response
18:16 Top Comment and Response
20:06 AITA For Telling My DIL She Wasn't Invited Due To Her Weight
21:41 Response
34:42 AITA For Moving Out When My Parents Asked Me To Pay Rent
37:35 Response
41:04 AITA For Taking Back My Nephew's Christmas Present and Giving it to My Son
43:44 Response
51:33 AITA For Refusing to "See Other Options" for a Girl and Pressing Charges for What She Did to My Son's Car
54:06 Response
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For the destroyed gaming device: If my kid purposefully destroyed the toy of another and then received that same toy as a present, I would make my child give up their present to the other kid as a consequence. Sounds like OP did the parenting for her sister. You have to learn that actions have consequences.
Good parenting
And what demon child just smashes someone else toys for fun anyway?
That’s not normal
43:46 the Aunt is the BEST. Her nephew just learned a valuable lesson about action and consequences that his mother will never teach. And just for context, 13 years old is an 8th grader--he knows better despite his mom.
Kids even younger than that could get charged as adults for crimes
39:12 why would I pay rent and live under parent rules? I bet you the parents would expect him to pay money but they will not change the rules for him. If I’m paying rent, I’m just another adult living here and I’m living by my rules and not yours.
The only issue I have with it is to up and leave instantly without really talking to them first.
On the guy who left his parents house after they asked for rent: NTA he’s well within his right to move out when he’s 23 and there’s another adult (20 y/o) in the house. Now not only does the brother not get to play the PS5, now he has to do more chores.
Story 1- “it takes a village” should’ve been heeded BEFORE he decided to burn all his bridges. It makes sense that he’s blowing up right now, he sounds like a crappy brother and son
As someone who is overweight now I don’t think OP was the AH. She tried to be nice, and the dil pushed for a different answer, and then got upset when she didn’t like the response.
OP could have worded it differently but ultimately she did nothing wrong
Precisely. She shouldn't have asked.
For the overweight story I don't think OP was the a-hole. They knew the person was not physically up for the task so they didn't invite them. When questioned about it they even tried to be respectful at first but the person pestered them into being honest. You can't expect to be included in everything if you bring everyone down once you get there every time.
It sucks that the daughter-in-law dragged it(knowing she literally was not up to the task). I’m sure OP would’ve loved to include her, but DIL would NOT have been capable of participating(and also complaining the ENTIRE TIME)… No one wants to have to deal with that..
Agreed. Maybe OP should've made it about the DILs mobility because that is the true issue
I agree
@@KwanaK1that’s what I came to say. Mobility and attitude is the issue.
@@KwanaK1exactly!! im fat but i love traveling with my family and they usually involve a lot of physical activity in their trips. my mobility is worse than theirs of course, but if i know i wont be able to do activities on that day of the trip, i just stay back in the airbnb. i would be hurt if i wasnt invited because i was FAT tho. there are a lot of skinny people who dont have great mobility or do well in these environments either
It would be different if the kid did it by accident and everyone was apologetic but you looked at that baby and laughed in his face about his toy being broken. I don't care if the toy was $5 or $100 you maliciously broke something that makes my kid happy and laughed about it, you don't deserve that toy or anything until you can apologize and attempt some compassion
💯
There’s no way a non handheld console would be broken like that by accident. I think it wasn’t handheld cuz they had to go elsewhere to play it.
I just recently left my job at an elementary school. I had the “problem” kids. The kids learn all their behaviors from their parents. All my kids are literally AMAZING with me… and kids are HONEST. They tell me all the time how they’re left alone to fend for themselves for DAYS bc their parents are garbage humans and don’t care to take responsibility for them. NO WONDER YOUR KID HAS NO DISCIPLINE bc you’re never there! I stopped calling those parents to talk. They don’t care. I just poured all my love into them for the 6 hours I was with them.
The day I left I sobbed while participating in a 30 kid group hug lmfao 😅 😭
These kids need love and support. I hope I can go back someday. They only paid $14 an hour so I had to go back to my more lucrative, full time design job since the economy has hit the shitter
For overweight story OP definitely could’ve said all of that and just took the weight part out of it. Could’ve said “we feel like we loose a lot of the day bc it feels like you complain the whole time & always need to stop” which is more about her health & attitude affecting their time rather than her weight directly
Right. Fat doesn’t mean annoying, sedentary and lethargic. I thought it was going to be a weight limited activity like a pony trail ride or something.
That does what? She will continue to gain weight, never fix her issues and everyone just has to constantly run around the idea of her needing to lose weight if she wants to join. She needs a wake up call. Honestly, a lot of people, especially in America need a wake up call.
If she’s overweight and can barely walk without being tired and needing a break, that’s her weight, the weight is the issue.
@@BigBoss-sh2jx actually, no it’s not. Her not being accustomed to moving any distance is the issue. It’s lack of muscle and efficiency of the cardiovascular system, not the presence of the fat. And being sedentary is much more dangerous and likely to result in an early death. Being fat is just one common side effect of being sedentary.
As someone who's overweight (but quite active):
I would say she should've said something along the lines of "we're tired of waiting on you" then expressed some concern about her not being able to even walk across a mall. You can express concern and annoyance without being a total AH and saying fatphobic rhetoric. But the DIL is a total AH too. It's selfish af to make everyone's day revolve around you.
In the end, though, it's less about her being fat and more about her being unable to walk, self-centered, and annoying
She’s fat, that’s a fact. It’s not fat phobic to say so. Her saying your weight doesn’t allow us to do anything because you get tired easily, is true. She should lie to not hurt her feelings? She did and dil wanted more and got the truth.
@@genesismakesmusic work on your compassion and reading comprehension
@@urface42 I can read. I read. I have personal experience with this because of one of my family members and a lot of times they wouldn’t be able to go to places with us because they couldn’t walk much. They knew this themselves and they were like that because of medical issues that made them gain the weight. They knew they were big and that that stopped them from doing things and they would take themselves out of activities that would mean that they would have to walk a lot because they knew we would have to accommodate a lot and not enjoy as much. Saying someone is bigger and their weight means they can’t walk much and stops everyone else’s enjoyment is not rude. As much as it may hurt to hear because everyone has feelings, that person’s feelings are not more important just because of that. My family member would also not like being left alone and when this happened a lot people grew resentment because they felt like they couldn’t enjoy themselves. Is that better? Realistically with the dil’s attitude, everything would’ve been hurtful. It’s not just about her attitude, it’s about the fact that her weight means she can’t do certain things. If she was to try to go on a ride and the person operating said “you way too much for this ride” are they also an asshole? “We’re tired of waiting on you” can also be rude. Don’t speak on compassion when you don’t know where someone’s coming from because i have personal experience. I just refuse to pander to your ideas because that’s not how real life works. Nothing wrong with her being fat, but it does come with consequences. You are the one that needs to work on their reading comprehension.
@@genesismakesmusic "in the end, though, it's less about her being fat and more about her being unable to walk, self-centered, and annoying"
@@genesismakesmusic you can write all that and yet you can’t read. How unfortunate
I'm gonna bet the sister didn't tell the truth to the family. And that's why they're calling calling OP the AH
Yeah I would totally not be surprised if she conveniently left out that her kid broke it on purpose
Ooh good point, cuz how on earth could they take her side?? Her kid broke his cousin's expensive toy and her response was to LAUGH in her sister's face. What a B.
The rent story; NTA. Honestly. I'm an eldest sibling, so this is bias I'm sure, a lot is required of us for no reason beyond being born first.
Their parents are MIA because they are trying to afford having 5 kids - the eldest stepped up with no complaint to pitch in. They're basically the home-caretaker for the kids, the dogs, and the whole household function.
Asking for money for no reason beyond the other siblings are complaining is WILD.
There are so many ways to contribute to a home beyond financial, and OP is doing a LOT.
If a parent was laid off or if it was temporary or they weren't doing so much, I'd understand a financial ask, but with the information provided; nta.
Agree! And the siblings' anger at him is completely misdirected. They need to take it up with the parents.
As and oldest sibling I agree! Also why do people keep having hella kids that they can afford financially,mentally,or emotionally not to mention time wise!!! It’s not the other kids job …. Yeah it’s nice if they help but not if they are forced to do so also he is 23 he wasn’t going to stay their forever
Parentification at is finest. 😢
It also seems like he would have stayed and been happy to help out if his contribution was appreciated. I think if you want to foster an environment where everyone wants to pitch in for the whole family you need to make sure all members of the family are cared for and having their needs met. You can't just ask your child to sacrifice their happiness for yours, it's unbalanced and an unfair. You as the parent have a responsibility because you created this person, the child doesn't have the same responsibility in return
100% agree - even if OP had "equal" amount of chores, there was a huge amount of time and energy given to run the household with organzing meals, chores, etc. that should be a parent's role. The parents did not appreciate what OP was doing while ALSO working themselves AND going to college classes. They were juggling everything and then asked to pay on top of that - that feels like the rest of the family was just jealous that OP was successfully managing their funds. As an oldest sibling who was expected to manage a lot and parent my younger siblings with no acknowledgement or appreciation, I get why OP left. They were just fed up and decided to finally live their life for themselves and actually place the parenting role back where it should have been.
22:51 I am a very strong proponent of not asking questions you don't truly want the answer to. OP tried to lie the first time and DIL kept pushing it. She wasn't being rude, she was genuinely being factual based on her experiences with DIL.
6:20 I've said it before and I'll say it again; If everywhere you go there's a problem, common sense would tell you that you are the problem, and an adult mindset would tell you to change. The stepson clearly cannot see that, and you can't really help someone who doesn't want to change. I feel like OP should say her piece to the son, possibly through letter or text so as not to cause an immidiate argument. She should tell him how she feels and what she wants out of their relationship too, set boundaries lay down ground rules, and if Stepson doesn't decide to change, or at least find compromise, then she should call it quits. He didn't want the mom that was actually there, now he doesn't have one at all.
The story at 20:00 reminds me of a woman who got mad at a local horse ranch. Her and her friends all planned on riding horses but the owners wouldn't allow her because she weighed almost 300 pounds and would damage the horse's back. The ranch owner offered a partial refund because she was the only one who didn't get to ride but the lady wasn't having it she was just pissed. 🤷 But what else could have been done? Horses aren't toys they couldn't force the poor animal to carry her.
For the pumpkin patch one the OP could’ve said “there’s going to be a lot of walking and not a lot of areas to stop and sit. Do you think you’d be able to handle that?” I think that would’ve been a more effective way of handling that situation because then it puts it on her DIL to decide if she really wants to go do to the actual activity without bringing up her weight at all. The core of the issue is her mobility and if she can tolerate walking around a pumpkin patch + apple orchard which are valid concerns that can be presented compassionately. I understand OPs frustration, I do think she could’ve handled it with a little more nuance.
First guy is 100% a narcissist, he's *never wrong* and everyone else is the problem.
The term village is fairly common… I’m surprised y’all didn’t know that. “It takes a village to raise a child”.
Agreed! I don’t think the title was misleading at all lol
Right, did they think op meant actual village?
12:25 no he's still not the assshole from any point of view because the brother got aggressive about it first. he started it. I get that he's not good at social cues but he's in his thirties with his own wife at some point as an adult you got to learn to let it go or at least come back with evidence
Yesss! The brother is TA for watching the wife’s actions and instantly assuming malicious actions off of makeup.
2:30 judging from the title alone, I'm already thinking NTA, because actions have consequences; but let's hear the story.
All right, fam. You don't have the right to disrespect your stepmother like that, and then expect her to help you raise your kids! Are you out of your mind?! This is why you think twice before you burn bridges!
OP, you are *_NTA!_*
The sister from "Taken Back Gift" story, sounds like a hypocrite. If she was watching her son, maybe he wouldn't have acted like an ass. If she continues raising him like that, he may end up being a menace to society.
21:55. Yes. There IS a nice way to broach this subject, "Hey there is this event that we wanted to go to. We already had the whole day planned out and We knew that with all the walking that with your chronic pain you wouldn't really enjoy yourself." They should not have lied about the trip being a 'family' thing (since that wasn't the reason.) and then they made it about weight. This is a chronic pain situation. It's still bad to use chronic pain as a reason to keep someone out of the loop, but this way it's not about the *weight* it's about the actual limitation of her chronic pain.
The thing that gets me with the overweight story is that it seems like DIL got some serious health complications with her birth and the weight gain is a SYMPTOM of a much larger issue. It is not normal to get that fatigued from strolling around. So I don’t like that it just blames her weight.
Plus, there are accommodations that can be made. For example, my mom can walk around the house but she has arthritis and can’t walk for long distances. We’ve finally been able to convince her to allow us to push her around in a wheelchair when we’re on vacation, that way she can see WAY more than she would normally be able to. But it doesn’t sound like they’ve had those types of conversations at all.
Separately, it sounds like DIL got hurt for being excluded because that was never the case before. It’s sounds like OP treated DIL like a daughter before all these health issues, so it’s fair that DIL would get hurt by the change.
I also see this as a stamina/ overall physical health issue. Because if MIL's description of "baby weight" is an extra 20lbs and DIL was considered "normal weight" before. It's not the weight that's the issue. It could be any number of postpartum complications that could have hurt her cardiovascular system or something else.
She said she’s obese. So it is a weight problem if the obesity is making your ankles swollen. Maybe she gained weight and kept gaining weight. It’s not the mother in law’s fault and she’s included her in other things just not this one because it would be difficult for her to participate. It’s more considerate not to invite her because you know she’s going to have a hard time. It’s like asking her to go hiking. Also a chair for an obese person has to be electric powered because I’m sure most of them wouldn’t be able to push her and what if they don’t have the money for that (and by they I mean the dil and her son). You have to accommodate your whole life just so someone can go to one singular event that they don’t NEED to go to?
@@mellodees3663 I agree, that’s why I mentioned it’s not normal to get that fatigued from strolling!
@@genesismakesmusic I’m medically obese (~240 lbs at 5’6”), but I can easily stroll for hours on end. It’s not normal to require constant breaks while strolling around, that’s a sign for concern.
In MIL’s case, I would have expressed concern that “hey I’ve noticed XYZ things. Is everything ok, have you gone to do the doctor about this? I wanted to talk about this because it’s impacted us in ABC ways. Can you think of any accommodations you would need to keep up with us in the pumpkin patch? Otherwise, it would make more sense for you to sit out this one out and join us on the next.”
@@genesismakesmusic but obesity encompasses a lot of people you wouldn't automatically think are obease. You can be 5'5 and 180lbs and be considered obese and still shop in normal clothes
watching this feels like hanging w friends and just listening to them talk
The rent story- NTA What did those parents do when all those kids were little and wth are they doing besides a job? My kids need to chip in and they do but I would not expect one of them to do the marketing, make dinners and lunches etc...they need to be a lid! Also, there is no way those little kids were doing as much as the oldest.
Yall be posting at the best times. Everytime I'm on yt or insta yall pop up within 20 mins of posting😅
(This is **TOTALLY just my opinion**, I'm not in the medical industry, wholly based on my experience consulting with doctors and recovery dietitians/nutritionists)
As someone in recovery for an eating disorder, what you're describing, Brandon, is actually a good sign of something called "intuitive eating"!
You're spending energy working out, your body is telling you that you need more food now to regulate your many bodily systems, and you're just going ahead and listening to that bodily queue, eating until you're actually feeling full enough or satiated. I personally eat this way and it's been the best relationship I've had with food in my whole life, and it's allowing me not to listen to the outside voices of fat phobic rhetoric on "how to eat healthy" when that is different for everyone. ("Healthy" is often actually just a code word for skinny, which does not actually equate to health or not. I was at my skinniest when I was also at my least healthy, and my highest weight has been where my body feels best, soooo.)
I get hungry, my body lets me know that I'm hungry, and so I go and eat! And it's also okay to have variance in how "healthy" or "not healthy" your food choice patterns are. Healthy is very subjective for each person. Like, I have an ED. So eating a donut for breakfast if I'm only hungry for a donut in that scenario is a healthy choice, cuz otherwise I might just not eat if that's the only thing I'm craving. Also sometimes I'll notice I have a craving for fiber, so that's probably a sign I need a little fiber! I'll have some whole grains, or a nice fancy piece of toast, or munch on some fibrous veggies and peanut butter, health is so subjective. I do that until I'm feeling full enough and like I got whatever energy from my food I needed, if possible.
What you're doing now sounds fairly balanced, (obviously from the outside looking in, so take it with two grains of salt)
I literally busted out laughing at “testicle-tickling” 😭😭
Happy holidays!! These were crazy! I’m overweight myself and I’m able to walk for long periods of time luckily. I am working on it but I would hate to be the reason others weren’t having fun.
I love the rent story. If he has only 1 year left, then it's great. A couple could be more difficult, but maybe now the parents and sibilings are appreciating everything. Because the chores don't seem to be equally shared if he has to make sure they are all done.
Also, the whole US thing of asking for rent from your kids when it is not needed is insane. And the parents can't complain: if they ask rent, he can pay rent to them or others. And the sibilings could keep sharing the chores if they haven't complained.
I read another AITA story about a group of women that were friends since college. All of them settled into marriage and kids in their 20s except for one, who decided to spend her 20s travelling, building up her career, etc. She constantly talked down on the others for their choice of settling down. The ones that married and had kids became a "village" to each other because they were all going through it at the same time. Roughly ten years later, the other friend finally settles down into marriage and children in another state. She was having a hard time adjusting into motherhood and was mad that her friends weren't willing to leave their lives behind and stay with her for a few weeks postpartum. It may be a totally different story from the angry stepson story in this video, but it comes down to the same thing where you can't expect the "village" to be there for you if you weren't there for the village. The whole point of the "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality is that you pick up the slack when someone else is struggling, and they pick up the slack for you when you are struggling, so no one is burning a candle from both ends, and everyone's needs are met.
On the story about the eldest sibling who moved out when the parents demanded rent, I get what Brandon's saying that the chore distribution was equal, but they're not taking into account mental load. He said on top of his own chores, he was was also in charge of making sure the younger kids did theirs. Sometimes that's more stressful than handling the chores yourself. But it's a necessary task for a PARENT because it's how you teach your kids to be responsible humans. So the parents were parentifying him a bit there. Plus he's an adult, but he can't live like an adult because his parents don't allow him to bring boyfriends/girlfriends around. So the parents want the benefit of another money-earning adult and parental figure in the house, but they still control him like he's a child. Yeah, it was time for him to move out. Actually, in this whole situation, it sounds like the next oldest brother is the AH because he complained that his older brother has money. He is also an adult. He can get a job. Then when the OP moved out he complained that he has more chores and no free time to see his girlfriend. Again, he's an adult, so he can get a job, move out, and see his girlfriend whenever he wants. But it sounds like he likes leaching off his family.
Thank you for the reenactment hahahahhaha I could totally see it! It was like I was there in OP's house! 😂
So many of my favorite TH-cam channels post on Tuesday but I had to watch this one first. 😊 happy holidays! 🎶
Oo to add - I’m a professional bodybuilder and Brandon I feeeel you! 😂 we have to eat so much food to gain weight and working out makes your ravenous. Then when I have to cut weight to compete, I work out even more and cut calories. It is hard 😅
THe cousin/boyfriend's cousin part SENT ME lmaooo you guys are the best
The DIL is in denial. And because she’s in denial, she wants her mother-in-law and entire extended family to also play denial with her. It’s completely unfair for the DIL to expect everyone to sit because she wants to sit. If she wanted to be more included she shouldn’t cry and complain about everyone leaving her alone because she can’t walk because that’s not being fair to everyone else.
Thank you for amother episode this week!
It’s insane to me that TH-cam hadn’t shown me your podcast until yesterday. I absolutely LOVE this channel, and I love the reenactments😹 I’ve found you guys at the perfect time though! For the last weeks of school I didn’t want to start a new show, but also couldn’t find anything I wanted to really watch on YT. So I’m thankful to have your podcast to binge watch for my last 7 days of the semester.💗
last story- omg that’s how she is now, imagine him getting a new girlfriend?? she’s gonna continue if legal action is not taken and she got away with multiple days of scratching his car!! consequences for your actions, just like with the game console
I LOVE this podcast! The commentary is elite. 💖
My sister had to give my nephew an ultimatum. Break up with your literally psycho ex, or move out because they are not allowed in this house anymore. The ultimatum came after they completely lost their shit at a 10 year old for misgendering them and sister said she wasnt allowed over anymore (the fam had been more accepting of them than their own family had been). A few weeks after, sis was gathering laundry to run the wash, and nephew's door was locked. Nephew was at work and he never has his door locked when he's not in it. Sis went and got the key do she could get the laundry, and psycho ex was in there. Ex started hurling insults while sis was yelling at ex to get the fuck out. Ex threw a bottle of hot sauce that was on nephew's dresser at sis; it smashes on the wall. Then ex charges at sis and tries to punch her. She decks her instead. Older nephew runs in to see what was going on, pulls sis back because he knows sis is not to be fucked with(says sis was so mad he was legit scared she might accidentally kill this twerp); twlls her thay she will deal with it. He goes in his room and gets his gun, comes back and tells ex that they are trespassing and he has a right via state law to use the gun if they refuse to leave. They say he's bluffing, so he flips the safety off and cocks the gun. He doesn't have pointed at them yet, but that was enough to get them to agree to leave. Older nephew escorts them out, but when they get to the front door, they try to go after sis again, so sis decks them again before picking them up and throwing them off the porch. As soon as nephew was home, she issued the ultimatum and he FINALLY broke it off with them. Eventually admitted that they had been very verbally abusive and had started to be physically abusive. They know better than to come back to the hose since there is always someone other than nephew there, and they all have access to weapons. Nephew (doesnt believe in guns) carried a knife outside of the house for a while until he finally heard from ex's sister that they finally went back to texas and were involuntarily committed after acting a fool there too.
That is such a crazy story I'm glad no one in your family was really hurt during that encounter and you all were able to get him out of such an abusive environment, it seemed like he knew exactly how she was but had no escape and his mom was able to gave him a way out and he took it so fast. I'm also very happy to hear that she ended up moving states so she cant B&E , also she is hopefully getting the help she needs in TX.
@ZZyii I hope so too, they had a lot of issues before they started transitoning that shoukd have been addressed, because the testoterone tends to make people more aggressive as it is. And, yeah, we are all so happy that he is out of that situation. Nephew is the sweetest dude, and it hurt seeing someone treat him like that.
As a disabled person, I’d hate to be excluded because of my mobility issues.
But just the same, it's not ok to hold everybody back because of you.
It may not be the weight.
My weight problem was solved with spinal fusion. Im still fat, but now I can do things again.
I'm overweight too, but I don't hold anybody back. I try to pull it off or just don't go
You guys are so cute!
happy holidays to u guys ! missing sam's attitude tho lol
New sub all alerts on. It is sooo refreshing to hear people with common sense and good hearts. Nice to meet you
Parents be like "stop working so you can work for me for free"
For the Son moving out story...I've heard/seen this post a few times before and have always been on the side of op NTA and still am but something I just picked up on that I didn't before is that the parents literally only started asking him to contribute financially when the other siblings started complaining about the ps5 he wouldn't share (which he absolutely has a right to not share since he bought it w his own money) and how jealous they were getting about their brother having this extra $ they don't have...so it wasn't like a thing of like 1 parent getting laid off or some other financial hardship that caused them to ask him to start contributing since he had all this extra $. There was zero mention at all of anything that would indicate they were hard up or living in poverty in any way...now who knows maybe things were tight and the kids bringing up the ps5 made the parents realize how much extra he's making and were only getting his one side but I mean based off of the facts that we have it really seems like that's not the case.
And while ya some parents do expect their 18+ kids to pay rent while living at home, in my house the rule was always you can live at home for free as long as you're in school...like if i had gone to medical school or smthg that took 10+yrs i could have stayed there rent free the whole time. If not in school& just working then I had to pay some rent based on what I made and of course either way was always expected to pitch in with housework&anything 'extra' I wanted..$ to go out, any non essential, my car/insurance/gas, phone bill etc I had to pay for myself which is completely fair after 18 and is exactly what I plan to do w my kids when they're 18.
OP was not only in school ft AND working pt, he was doing more than his equal share of chores around the house as well as delegating&managing the chores&ensuring his siblings could do theirs as well. That managing of the household is the biggest chore there is& is saving the parents An ENORMOUS amount of time, stress and physical&mental labour. Coming from a mom of 2 kids (5&7yo) managing the household is fckn exhausting, especially while also working full time. I guarantee that he spends an annoying amount of time each day nagging his siblings to do their chores, homework etc and the fckn meal prep!! The meal prep are you kidding me!? I would happily take this kid in, fix up my basement into his own little apartment and let him live here rent free as long as he needs if he would do allllll of that stuff for me damn...he's gonna have zero issue adjusting to living on his own for the first time&I can guarantee that his future gfs/wife will really appreciate his ability to multi task and take on the mental load required to run a household one day cause way too many men never ever learn those skills or just straight up refuse to do it cause women tend to be pressured into taking it on entirely while also doing the bulk of childcare, household chores and having their own career too.
It also won't be long before the oldest sibling realizes how fckn much the brother does and fights back w the parents or refuses to do it and mom has to take it again and realizes how lucky she was to have such a helpful son taking on the bulk of running that house.
2nd AITA, makeup is just like painting for her. It completely depends on how brother brought it up tbh, whether it was warranted. Because it could just be misogynistic or he could've truly been worried
3rd AITA, she pushed for another reason and OP told her. OP was the AH for phrasing it like that, but not for not inviting her. DIL brings the mood and adventure down with active activities, it's not every event, it was just one
11y/o mum AITA. W MUM. YES MA'AM, absolutely not the AH. Nephew's mum sounds like a massive AH and her son is following in her footsteps, just like Maddy said :/
yay right on time for dinner here in France!
Just wanted to say at least in FL you can get a restraining order on a neighbor. I dealt with that in an apartment complex with the person under me and they told us that one of us would get evicted. She had all sorts of other problems with the complex already so she got evicted before we officially filed the restraining order but it was pretty scary to think we couldve been thrown out because our petty neighbor 😅😮💨
Yerrr early bird. Got some time before class to listen 😁
MIL is NTA. If a person cannot physically participate in the activity and actively makes the experience worse for everyone else involved then that person shouldn’t be invited to that particular activity. DIL would not accept MIL pc reason for not inviting her and kept pressing the issue. At that point she got what she was asking for 🤷🏾♂️
It’s unfair to a mother and her children to have this person always ruining your bonding time. Obviously she could bond too if she wasn’t seen as a hindrance.
I feel OP could’ve approached the conversation a little more sensitively but not inviting her doesn’t make her YTA. I think they all are. DIL also shouldn’t be talking about being abandoned when she knows good and well she’s holding everyone back. ESH 23:03
54:25 that's why people behave that way, parents saving their kids from consequences.
Also, PRESS CHARGES, You are not doing anybody a favor by not doing it. Teach your son to set limits, even if he loves the person.
And just because of that laugh, I would go all the way with it
ugh 😑 the cousin one reminds me of what fall out my cousins had but it wasn't a toy we had a fight over , it was the fact she just walked away from her baby and yet i never didn
IM EARLYYYY!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS
First story is sad. He is the AH but he is really traumatized by his mother leaving. She did not die. She decided that she did not want her children anymore. That is devastating to a child. The rest of the family abandoned him and categorized him as a bad son brother stepson. They should have supported him when he was a child still
😂 I love y’all
For the rent one, totally not the AH
For the weight story op is not an ahole. I refuse to go places with my large friend simply because I don't enjoy listening to that her cry and complain because she is tired. Sooooo I don't take her when I want to do alot if physical activity. I do go her house with Ben and Jerry's and tissues when she gets dumped. That happens alot.
33:27 Brandon, just eat carbs and fiber rich foods as snacks so you can have your proteins and vitamins at regular intervals throughout the day. They make you feel full faster. Also this bit is for everyone that reads this. The American health system is shitty and doesn’t promote a healthy lifestyle. There amount of oil Americans consume is generally the same as Italians BUT the way it’s consumes is vastly different and the regulations in food is a whole lot better in every other 1st world country. Stick to olive oil, if you wanna make fried chicken, low-med heat on the stove to reach the oils burning point and you just keep the chicken on there longer. It’ll cook through it’ll just take more time. You now have a healthier oil and you’re not disintegrating any nutritional value the chicken might have
43:40 he didn't even know he was getting that gift, but now is ruined because he didn't get it. And noe they want OP to reward his bad behavior. The sister is the worst
Question, why would you want someone that you don’t like that you excluded from your life and didn’t want even to be in your wedding or part of your life to take care of your kids that doesn’t make sense
I feel like op in the friend's weight story just shouldve said something beforehand and maybe suggest somewhere to meet up after?
i don’t like kevin’s response to the woman doing her makeup, plenty of women, including myself, do makeup for fun. assuming she’s cheating is insane.
3:41 Brandon, I get why you didn't like the title at first, but let's be for real, is she wrong? Lol
Wow love that karma on aunt & nephew for the gaming station
Honestly makeup hubby is not an asshole
What a secure king
I understood the first title *immediately* . Seems like some weird idiom combination I would make.
33:00 Ravenous would be the right word
2nd puberty!!! Everyone has a second puberty in your 20s-30s
The 11 yo son didn't earn his present by being a good person.
We Miss You Sam ❤😢🫶🏻❤️
The story about the woman’s weight, no that person is not the asshole for calling it out
Where is Sam
Not saying I don’t love y’all’s guests bc I do and Sam missed ofc but Brandon and maddie eps feel classic
For story 2 the brother was just being an ass. You dont need good social skills to know that accusing someone of cheating is not something to do and i hate it when people justify it by low social skills.
She added so much extra at 5:09 little stuff like that changes the tone. Thats your interpretation, not what was said lol
10:50 oh, this is going to be juicy! But I feel like my answer is already NTA.
You might have gone too far, which in my eyes, makes you an ABJ (a-hole, but justified), But you're still NTA for putting your brother in his place for making crass comments about your wife. If you two are secure in your relationship, and can *_trust each other,_* then that's all there is to it.
I love that makeup husband!
There’s two sides to the stepmom story the step son needs therapy for sure but maybe the mom needs to be the bigger person and care for the grandchildren that have not “burned the village” that could heal the child inside the asshole stepson and they can move on peacefully
Weight Story: For all MIL knows it's an overall stamina issue. OP didn't give us any dimensions of DIL and says "baby weight". If DIL doesn't go the the gym or go walking/running it would also be exhausting to go out with people who are more fit. How big was the mall? Was it a small shopping center with no upper floors or a 5 floor Galleria? Is OP and her daughter's tall and DIL shorter? Keeping up with tall people can also be a pain.
We aren't given enough context and people can be different in may ways.
MIL said DIL is obese and her ankles are swollen because of her weight which makes it difficult to walk
Overweight people who complain about walking are ANNOYING!! Especially if they are not okay sitting on their own for a while. It’s ruins everyone’s day. It’s selfish on the overweight persons part.
about the sister-in-law not being invited because I want to tell them beforehand because we have we don't want to ruin the spirits because we have to stop every so often because you keep ruining it because we're trying to have fun I would have told her in a nicer way or try to make it up in another that would be me if I was that person cuz there's better ways than saying that outright or trying to freaking find a compromise hell you could have just went to a movie or a theater or something that doesn't require that much moving and have fun times with her another ways that don't require that move it those are just my ideas of things you could have done other than moving that much if she can't handle it
Two in one week yesssss
About the game console story- maybe the mom should have been monitoring his internet access 🙃 perhaps been a more involved parent so he doesn’t have to learn such important lessons, hmm? 🙃
Give him coal
For the “not invited because of her weight” story the mil is the a-hole because the issue is not the weight. The issue is the dil’s lack of stamina and attitude toward others when she’s tired. Everyone sucks because the mil should haven’t have made it about her weight which isn’t the real issue and the dil shouldn’t have pushed about why she wasn’t invited. If the dil was honest about her ability to walk for a long time and during previous trips took her personal breaks without complaining and expecting everyone to take the break with her this probably wouldn’t have been an issue. But the mil also makes it clear in the post that she judges the dil for having gained weight so I think she sucks more
Exactly, all she had to say was they didn't want to have to stop every few minutes.
The first topic I dnt think she was wrong why do we have to run around the bush when it comes to someone’s weight first she shouldn’t even feel entitled to being invited to everything I think the daughter in law is being selfish because they dnt have to invite her in the first place on top of of your ankles are always swollen and your always struggling and complaining to walk no im not inviting you to anything that requires you to walk and if it’s that bad she needs to loose weight
For the fatphobia story: they shouldn’t have posted the pictures. If you want to leave someone close out of am event for a reason, fine. But don’t be so public about it, then. People have feelings. It also sounds like the woman who was left out has a real health problem that she didnt use to have. She needs compassion and curiosity, not insults
Your body actually thinks it’s dying when it loses weight so it will make you more hungry. Go more protein and veggies less carbs. 34:07
Also protein is good after you work out.
I think for the weight story yes OP is the AH / ESH
The woman gained a lot of weight i guess from having a child? I think she is trying but her body has limits. Idk like I wouldn't try and exclude people unnecessarily, like it could be a teaching moment for the kids and maybe even the other woman. My family has kids with disabilities and its not the same but again, I couldn't imagine not inviting them along or excluding them because they make it less fun for the other kids.We make adjustments and we figure it out because if you love them you'll make it work. The lady shouldn't guilt them but throwing it in her face is definitely not the answer.
The OP in the first story sure doesn't owe their (non) son anything, but does she want a relationship with the grandchild? NTA, but consider what you want for the future.
For the overweight story:
She could have left the weight out. It wasn't necessary to be so blunt (and I am German. Honesty and directness are considered virtues.)
However, what OP tells us about DIL overweight and how she got there quickly after pregnancy sounds a lot like a medical issue.
For Eg, women with PCO Syndrom often lose control over their weight after pregnancy because hormones make it impossible for them to lose weight. They get frustrated and since they can't lose weight they start eating more and more and gain weight.
Another condition could be hypothyroidism or medications.
If OP cares, she should talk to her DIL and encourage her to seek help or at least rule out underlying medical conditions.
What would you have her say. She tried saying it was just a family trip its not like she said "you're not invited cause you frankly act like a toddler" which the dil does. If a full grown adult throws a fit of anyone because she is not supervised on a bench then i would not want to go on trips with her.
The way I look at the weight one as someone who works in HR, if she was in a wheel chair would you have accommodated? Most likely yes. I understand obesity is somewhat of a controllable thing (not always) I feel like the DIL should have been given a chance to decide if she was able to do it. Being nice doesn’t always mean being logical. If you are family you should comfort those in your family, not exclude them from activities and write Reddit threads about their weight.
For the overweight daughter-in-law story: Everyone sucks. MIL is the AH because it is not her place to say what someone can or cannot physically handle. You invite all family and let the invited adult decide what they can and cannot handle or participate in. Instead of making a fatphobic comment, she could have just said to the DIL, "look, we are going to do some very physical activities today. You are welcome to join. However, we are not going to slow down or take breaks as a group. If you feel the need to stop and take a break, we hope you understand that we would like to carry on without you." DIL is the jerk for complaining and then expecting everyone to wait for her. If you cannot keep up, acknowledge that and just hang back. If you want to keep participating and not be left behind, then you got some work to do, girl.
The move out story is a asshole because you just up and left.
I feel like they were not contributing equally if the siblings had to do all that plus paying rent. Like im sure you were benefitting a lot more than you let on. Especially since clearly you wouldn't have been there if it wasn't.
Yeah he was benefitting by going to school full time to earn more jfc it's likenparents don't want their kids to make good on themselves. Just because he didn't want to share his game station??
It's not about her weight. It's about her physical fitness level and discomfort with walking. OP should frame it as, it involved constant walking and you don't seem to enjoy those types of activities. Still a bummer but it's based on facts. Stop making everything about weight - clearly OP has some hangups about that. So it's a partial asshole moment. 😂