Not true at all. I am guilty of over talking. Some people can not enjoy the silence of a chill session like others. Wish I could 😪 Why I started to become a hermit.
Co-worker ☹️she talks likes she’s on a loop.. all about herself day in, day out,and when I speak, she magnifiers her voice and speaks over me.. I’m going to try this... thank you 🙏
Bro holy shit same man I got a new co worker and this person talks so fucking much I will walk away but some times if I'm able to get a word in the person cuts me off before I can finish and this happened when I was trying to tell some one a story and the person kept interrupting me and I even said loudly hold on let me say this they interrupted me so I said it again hold on let me finish this ! And the fucking person kept talking and I was done I was fucking dumbfounded so when I go back to work I am done speaking to this person fuck that I will not speak unless it's about the job fuck that.
I talk ALL THE TIME mainly because if I don't talk or hear someone talk (why im always on TH-cam so I don't talk to myself) I am stuck with my own thoughts and for me half of the time there not great thoughts.
@@InkFilledCity Seems you like to be the center of attention. No one cares about what you have to say as you will just annoy and bore people with your endless droning on.
They should buy a voice recorder, record their blabbering for 1 hour , playback the audio on repeat and spare innocent people out of their dumb conversations.
@@fordgt402 Yes, I like peace and quiet, and I see chatty people as just "Look at me I want attention everyone" types of people. They are insufferable bores.
My next door neighbour talks non stop. Its all one way. She absolutely terrorises us. As soon as I see her I rush in the door of our house to avoid losing 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
@@uf9309 That is like “Keeping Up Appearances”. Haha it’s sort of funny when you think about it but, it’s not funny when it’s actually happening to you.
True. But I've also experienced were the talkee is family and does not shut up even when you tell them to shut up. They don't listen, then get all butt hurt because of what I said to them.
Talkative people wonder why no one comes to them if a person has a problem. The more talking you do, the less you listen. Why vent to someone who doesn’t listen?
Why be polite? The talkative person is being rude to you. Just come straight out and tell the; "You talk to much and you don't let other people get a word in. It's very rude and no one likes it so stop doing it or stop talking to me". Just leave it at that. If they get mad and never speak to you again, is it really going to bother you?
Christopher Bradley It feels pretty bad to be rude. Even if they deserve it I end thinking I was too hard on them. Also the biggest overtalker I know is my dad. We get along really well otherwise, so I dont want him to stop speaking to me.
I found that I was being hard on myself for putting up with it -- also a family member, relations tense due to family history etc. But then as Kamil says, I resented that the person was dominating me. All in past tense because it turns out I don't wan't to see them anymore. In the end you are doing both you and them a disservice because they also do it to others and it is a form, even if a mild one, of abuse. that's not okay!
Christopher Bradley I am a person who always talks to everybody ...i can't stand silence ...sorry if this bothers you but I don't do that to be rude or to mess with someone...Sometimes people react like you and i honestly dont get what i did wrong ...usually i just get really sad...Its not like i dont let anyone else talk I actually ask alot of questions about the person i am talking to because i want to know more about them ...i just want SOMEONE to talk about anything...so I have a question ...how is it rude to actually want to get to know someone through this behavior or to actually want to cheer someone up by this? I dont get how talking is a bad thing! And why supposedly 'no one ' wants that...can you tell me? Also I am deeply sorry english is not my first language:(
My sister never stops talking, and also talks too loud. She doesn’t talk about herself, but about everything that comes into her mind. She even talks to herself when she’s alone, like in the bathroom! She’s extremely sensitive, vulnerable, and needy, and I’m afraid this approach won’t work with her. She would get very defensive and hurt. I end up not talking much at all when I’m around her. And I also feel frustrated and angry. She has no friends, and I can see why. I wish I knew how to let her know without hurting her!
Share this video? Sometimes people who enable you don't love you because they don't want to tell you the truth because they are afraid of hurting them. People don't tell me the truth and I don't trust them. Tell her the truth in love.
Shes not sensitive at all. Im sensitive and when I speak too much which rarely happens I feel my energy is drained too. Shes actually an energy vampire. Totally opposite of being sensible and sensisitive. She probably has mental issues like ADHD and other stuff. Avoid her.
That’s true, some folks know they are like that and wouldn’t love to change who they are, the best advice is ignore them or talk to them when it’s really necessary.
This is honestly my life. It happens to my husband and I all of the time! It’s like we are some how attracting these sort of people. The other day it happened in a small group that I was supposed to be leading. Some man walks in and hijacks the whole gathering. Wouldn’t stop talking for at least 20 mins! Then he’d start again anytime he could interrupt me. He was basically teaching the group at that point and I had no idea how to politely tell him to stop talking. I hate being rude, but I think it’s time for us to stand up for ourselves! Thank you for this video. It’s really good advice.
Nothing wrong with being rude. Also, be more assertive than rude. Just stop him and ask him not to interrupt as that is very rude. He is rude and you need to stop him.
Mine, too. No matter where I go, people come up to me and tell me their whole life story. Happens to me daily with my family. For hours and hours and hours. Used to happen to me at work...AS MY PHONE WAS RINGING OF THE HOOK and I clearly needed to grab it. A lot of people don't understand the give and take of a conversation anymore. Or they do and just don't care.
Thank you, Kamil. I am too passive, so my friends like to talk over and down to me... One friend, in particular, just talks too much about her self/problems and never allow me to get one word in...when I get a word in, she dismisses me by saying "you are NOT LISTENING!" So, I often avoid these particular friends.
This was excellent advice! As a very empathic person who truly listens to others, I have the problem of attracting people who want to extend the conversation endlessly, even if they do give me my turns in the conversation. People, whether they know me well or barely at all, or anywhere in between, seem to somehow sense that I can be like their therapist. I have no idea how strangers assume this too. I wonder if it's my energy and how it's perceived? Nevertheless, your advice to be DIRECT is very helpful. Now I have to muster the courage to do this, without worrying about what they may think about me or how my reputation can be damaged by it. This is because being direct will likely invite defensiveness and possibly vengeful/retaliatory behavior.
Olive the same thing happens to me. I think it's bcuz people sense that we're caring and empathetic and a lot of people tend to take advantage of that. I also worry about anything that even might be confrontational, and I worry that they might have a negative reaction then I worry Well, then what will I do? It's an easy thing to say but much harder to execute in real life: if we start standing up for ourselves it will help our self esteem in the long run and make it easier and help us feel more confident about doing things like this in the future. Good luck and please wish me luck too! I'm currently dealing with a temporary flatmate who does this. I'm beyond angry and irritated! I don't even feel comfortable in my own home anymore. I eventually had to enlist the help of someone else to make this stop. And that's okay when we're learning to stick up for ourselves-- in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy they teach you that it is okay to use this method at first.
Captain Howdy - I know your post was from half a year ago, but how is your situation now with your roommate who talks too much? I have a friend who likes to talk my ear off on the phone for 2 hours straight, and he feels that he needs to repeat himself and his stories over and over, regardless if I tell him I've heard them dozens of times. He'll also talk over me. If there's a small window for me to start speaking he'll sometimes quickly butt in and start talking right over me. It's rude and I can tell he's trying to be dominant. My problem is that I work for him part time with shipping things out for him, and so I feel somewhat trapped! Lol. I should add that other than this issue he's actually a nice and respectful person most of the time. He really loves to hear himself speak though.
@@captainhowdy4285 omg, I never knew that so many people suffer under these "over talkers" I just randomly searched for this topic because I have a friend who is actually a very good person in the heart, but she is addicted to drama and cannot deal with problems so she uses me to hear her out. I am the kinda person who is like all of you here, don't have the heart to tell them that her behaviour is a problem for us. It's insane torture to sit through a session with her, listen to the same problems for the umpteenth time, and if you can manage to get a word in, she would interrupt before you finish your first sentence and will make it all about her... The worst part is, she talks really really slow and drags each sentence for a long time, and every story must start with a long ass intro with a sub story before the mid story. Omg!!! Please kill me. But man, the fact that you have to enlist someone to save you, that's too funny. At least you have help. I don't. I hope your problem is no longer living in your house. But I think these types of people find people like us, who are trying to be good listeners and aren't rude enough to tell them when to stop.
Da Stig that's what happens to me. Anything I see that MIGHT be confrontational I try to stay away from. Then the anger just builds and builds inside of me until I end up blowing up at the person and they're like "Wtf" bcuz they never knew I had an issue with it in the first place. It is so difficult for highly sensitive people to speak about how they feel. I literally feel like I'm going crazy right now!!! 😡😡😡😠
Great advice. Best thing to do is be direct. I think people who talk too much are a little bit "Coo-koo" to not realize that are talking non stop. I just avoid these people, stop returning phone calls etc. and they go away after a while. I have a family member who does this and when she traps me in one of her boring 90 minute stories (that could be told in 3 minutes) I interrupt her and say "I have to go to the bathroom" and quick to say my goodbyes. No one ever questions needing to go the bathroom. I'm starting to teach her that I prefer text instead of phone calls and I notice she's texting more...Thank God!
Kamil's View No because she is my sister and not a casual friend. I will have her in my life forever so I don't want it to ever be awkward. If I were ever homeless or needed a kidney she's the only one in the world who will really help me, and that deserves a level of respect and tolerance. So I just gently nudge her to get to the point faster and it's been working.
Oh my goodness 90 minutes that’s way too long. I would have collapsed if I were you. Texting is great to avoid people who talk too much. I dont know if it’s just me but, I find Some of the responses funny. Ya, I think they are coo coo too.
I asked my dad did you like the show? He starts rambling about this and that even started talking about old cassette players. But i just wanted to know if he liked the show. I told him you talk to much, he got mad at me.
@@supersarah5673 you shouldn't do that when you're family is tryna talk to you when they're not being mean. They just wanna talk to you and ate probably lonely without you
Well with my dad it’s completely different. He literally for days in a row talks about politics and each day he talks for 3 to 5 hours. It’s annoying. Especially when he talks about theories. Which yeah some of them see legit but others are just completely crazy. He almost says the same things every time with maybe 2 new things that came out from his resources. Like yeah dad politics is important but not for everyday. Plus politics in general is just too toxic to talk about even if your talking to a person who has the same ideals as you. God I love my dad but I hate this part of him. Thank god I’m 18 so I guess I can move out soon.
Your advice is good, it's NOT rude, it's direct, I have to housemates which need to be put straight. One of them rambles on and onnnnn about his drunken nights out to me, the other constantly talks over you and dismisses (anything) you have to say! I literally have to run to my room if I see them or wear headphones in the house! it sounds funny but its not, they are SO irritating!
@@dl733sak I had a roommate like that too who was annoying as fuck and he was always bored and he thought just because he bored, that he was gonna drive me crazy too lol i don't get bored because I love my solidarity
my brother has a girl who is verbally constant and he picks at himself to deal with the barrage, it is upsetting to see but he get to share the drugs she gets everyday so he allows it. I have let them both know how it makes me feel but they still do it, i`m going to leave them be and get on with my life. I`ll be there if he ever leaves her but for now i can pcture her rambling on about utter shit and i often fantasize of punching her teeth out
I am a talkative person myself , I am a chatterbox, I mainly speak about myself ( I do give others a chance to speak though ) and it's only now that I am realizing that people get annoyed. At first I thought it's more of a personality thing , but now I see that it's a sign of narcissism, being weak , having low self esteem and other congenital issues . I was even thinking of isolating myself from everyone because that seems to be the only way to control myself . Thanks for such a wonderful video , I'm now working on myself :)
Thank you for sharing! I think that because now you are aware of the issue you will be more aware of how conversations flow. Sometimes people are truly unaware that this behavior is annoying. I would really like your input on an issue I am having because you are a "chatterbox". I only have 2 friends and they are both great people. I do not want to lose either one of them, but they both are incessive speakers. They both seem to run on constant loops of same stories and I sit and listen but it is getting to the point where I find it hard to put myself through it. One of my friends I only talk to 1 time a month because that is all I can handle and the other I have started to lose focus and daydream during conversations which I can tell hurts her feeling when she notices. So my question to you is how would you want to be told that you are speaking too much without getting upset, embarrassed or wanting to end the friendship? I truly do love my friends but I would love our conversations to be less one sided.
@@flintwick186 As a talkative person or rather a chatterbox, it hurts when someone tells you that . But we honestly have to face the truth . I don't think your friends are aware that you get annoyed whenever they start talking too much , I myself for one was not aware until I searched for these videos . When I came across such videos , I had a mental breakdown due to realising the impact I have on people because of my nasty behavior , therefore if someone told me , I would've been three times worse. I don't know if you get my point. My advice is : instead of telling them , make them see these videos by maybe posting them on your status and pouring your heart out when you comment . That will somehow give them a hint . I dont know if thats a good advice , but that's what I would've done. If ever you want to tell them , please make sure you become honest with them , and tell them how you feel and how this has affected you . Be respectful when talking to them . If they don't see a problem with their behavior or they don't think what you are feeling is valid , then it means they don't love you like you love them . I hope this helps.
There’s a “friend” I had that talks way more than she listens and I’ve told her about it countless times yet she continued to be rude with her not listening and dominating all of the conversations. I decided to just cut her out of f my life and no longer take her phone calls 🤔
I have said with a smile “oh I thought this was a conversation”. People who realize they have this habit then can catch themselves in about a second or two. I’m working on some speech habits and I really appreciate when a friend points something out.
I have one person who is a “cronic talker”, and very dominant too. Shedrive me crazy and sometime i got sick because her voice is everywhere. One of these days, i will tell her straight like you suggested.
I had a friend who was like this and never shut up. My friends and I would joke how we put the phone down for several minutes to do something else, pick it up again,she would still be talking. The thing I hated the most was when we would be in the car, she would talk over the music, I would turn it up to max volume, she would still talk over the music! So annoying. We don’t have this problem anymore because she died 5 years ago.
I am dealing with this right now. I have a lot of experience in mental health, as I am a licensed social worker with a long history in mental health/illness. But I have to say that sometimes people who have pathological problems, or have had a head injury, or who are manic, do not care what others think much of the time. They have one agenda. To talk about themselves as much as they can, to anyone who will stand still long enough to listen, for any length of time. Then they go on to the next person. There are some who are just chatty, who can be redirected, but non-stop talkers often cannot stop. The one I am dealing with is the worst case I have seen. He is manic, has a past head injury, and has sociopathic tendencies. He is a mixed bag of diagnoses, and I am struggling to help him, as he got hit by a car, broke his hip, and is now on a walker. He is my tenant, and he thinks nothing of calling me 6 times a day to give me his latest thought on just about anything. It is exhausting. If I try to tell him it is too much, he gets mad. He has no one to help him, and he is almost 70. He has driven others away in the neighborhood, so no one else will help him, and he can't afford to pay anyone. Just needed to vent.
My mother in law is a non-stop compulsive talker. It is exhausting. I listen to a lot of talk-radio and podcasts where people who are interesting and entertaining talk for over an hour, but my mother in law is not the case; she talks compulsively about the same things of 30 years ago, non-stop like a 10-year-old, is never quiet for more than a minute all day, and doesn't let anyone talk, constantly interrupts. She is in her 60's, takes pills for all kinds of aches and depression which makes her a little loopy, and wants nothing more than to be the center of attention and life of the party when everyone wants to relax and enjoy a peaceful family time. She is like a puppy that won't settle down and needs constant attention "listen to me, look at me, let me tell you about, I was, I am, I want to". If you make the slightest expression of discontent because she is talking too much, she gets offended, almost cryies, and labels everyone "mean".
@@michtig I'm dealing with that myself! And its my own mother! And yes it is deeply exhausting especially when we're at a meeting. I rarely talk to her now, unless if I need to inform something or need information. Now here's a tip that helps me, might work with you. Ask her direct questions! Like I said, I only go up to her now if I need info or I have to inform. So yes she won't be getting to point, she will elongate the conversation. What I do is keep my ears keen. When I got valued info from the long "lecture" she gives. Then I make sure to interrupt with a next QUESTION. Another thing that helps, and that's when you're talking or explaining, if your mother-in-law is like my mother, she will try to interrupt you over and over especially when you're talking to a group of people, so what you do is kindly tell her, "let me finish, you will get your turn to speak". Basically you're reassuring her to calm down, she'll get her chance to "shine". Hope that helps. It won't makes things perfect, but it's a few things I've learned to lessen the stress when I have to talk to a person that has bad social and listening skills.
You know someone talks to much when they ask you something then starts guessing your answer. Also when they start talking to animals even though you're right there.
I just had this problem with a cab driver. He just wouldn't SHUT UP. I'm on the big 'P' too. So Im already in a fowl mood. I just put my headphones on. He got the picture after about 5 minutes.
My mother never stops talking and she knows it is agitating but still keeps on talking. If I tell her, she gives silent treatment like I'm rude. I would do anything for her and she knows and takes advantage of the situation because I'm a captive audience. I wish the advice in this video would work for me without hurting her feelings.
If you don’t mind me asking, why would you wife a woman who talks all over you? I can’t imagine she became like this overnight years into the marriage.
My coworker is ruining my day. She won't stop talking about her life and gossip stuff. It's really annoying because I can't concentrate in my work. If I ignore her, she goes like: what's going on? Are you Ok?
Wow I love this and it really made me laugh because as a British person, dealing with another British (and older person) who I'm living with who never stops talking and never lets me speak, I could NEVER imagine being this upfront with them! Us British people love to be indirect and beat around the bush, or ignore speaking up about how we feel! I'm going to try and work up the courage to say this as I get so drained and waste so much time just standing there being an echo chamber for this person's endless, mundane thoughts, but this is an extremely blunt approach and will be received differently in different cultures. The trouble I have is that the person I want to say this to is my live-in landlady, so if I upset her I'm concerned she will kick me out of the house. Let's see, I would love to try this method but I need to find the right way and moment to do it.
I know the British in particular are especially afflicted by this, but as I said, that landlady already knows she is talkative. Ask yourself: Do I want to live in fear all my life? (the fear of being kicked out ?) Or do I want to stand for my own happiness and wellbeing?
If someone talks to much, the best advise i can give you. is to be in silence you dont need to talk. Just listen. After a while they will stop talking to you. They ain't going to bother with someone who dosnt respond.
I have a friend like that. He holds a monologue with me bragging about his kids accomplishments and the rich lifestyle he lives. It’s a real chore in having to listen to him. After we’re done I realize he doesn’t know a thing about what’s going on with me but i know everything that’s going on with him.
There are a lot of videos about this who recommend all kinds of "soft" and polite strategies for this problem. None of them are as good as this. Direct and simple. You really hit the nail on the head.
I always wonder why these people who won’t stop talking can’t understand that they’ve been talking for like 1 hour and people around are just bored... Can’t they read other people’s facial expressions?
Yea… no way in hell I'm doing that 😅 My coworker is the king of one way talking, loves talking about himself, and will not let you get a word in. I realized the best way to handle these people is to 1. Never be the first one to make eye contact with them because they'll take that as an invatation to bother you. 2. Give little to no response to what they're saying 3. Do obvious fake laughs 4. Make minimal eye contact during the conversation. And eventually they will f*ck off :) As a people pleaser, this is hard for me to do but it must be done.
My brother-in-law is, right at this very moment, talking non-stop to me about redundant stuff like mortgage insurance or what dogs eat or some such nonsense. In that time I've searched this video, watched it, and typed this comment, all while wearing my headphones through which he can clearly hear the audio so it's obvious that I'm not listening to him. But he just keeps on talking anyway - resilient and unhindered. Occasionally he trails off and starts to walk away but just as my blood pressure begins to normalize he comes back and starts talking all over again. Now he's trying to feed my dog a potato chip.
LOL, this is the most honest video I've seen on this! Love it! I've started being very honest to the people I care about but I think this one is difficult if you've just gotten to know the person and they actually have a good heart. But yes, dominating a conversation is not nice, so I should be able to give that as feedback. Let's hope I can put this into practice 🙈
It's just good knowing I'm not the only one who is witnessing this. I usually am rude to them, but they don't care bc it turns out many are just emotionally unavailable ppl who really can't help it. These are not my friends. They are co-workers who I have no choice but to deal with them.
My friend keeps talking to me even when im trying to relax i told him "you're talking to much i wanna relax" But he just doesnt stop so i just walked away And if he talk about anything you dont care just say "i dont care"
Once l had this with a man he would make a very good tea when you went to his home, was allowed to use his computer , then he would talk non stop, l would then go home and he would call me on the phone when l got home! Non stop talk every night for months l could not get a word in at all.! In the end l night l unplugged my landline phone so l could get round and do the housework!!l had no mobile then. And my brother went round to talk to him he never bothered me again.
Thanks! That I've been searching for it for ages! It's a key hot to close the Pandora box! Thanks a lot I'll try to apply this approach with such people. Because they annoy a lot and only thing you do is freezing and waiting when their speech would be finished
I have a friend that won't let me get a word in or to finish what I'm saying. They often say "I already know what you were about to say", but then I have to raise my voice and say "NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!!", Then I finally finish and they admit they didn't know I was going to say that. It's usually people who think you have no insights or anything worth listening to. So they don't respect you. Some think you're dumb. I'm going to just start turning around and walking away when they interrupt me or it's just them talking AT me.
It implies that you assume that most people who talk too much are women. This is because there was no need to give a gender as an example at all. In my experience as a health care professional (and normal human), men and women equally do this. If anything, I have experienced this more with men, especially those who want to "smooth talk me".
*_Please reply!_* _EDIT: It's long_ _I have a "friend" (let's call her Mary) and she had 0 friends on the first day of school. I had loads of friends and she wanted some to- so she ran to me and then tried to become friends with me. Although she's quite nice, she is very cunning and can be extremely annoying. "Mary" was not very smart in her studies (and EVERYONE hated her) but I used think they hated her for no reason. However, I began to notice she talked ALOT and never let others speak! My problem with her was that she relied on me and used talks about her everyday dramas ONLY TO ME. We were barely friends in Primary but in Secondary/High school, "Mary" acted like we were best friends, when I don't even like her! SHE USED ME FOR FRIENDS. She knows very well that nobody likes her and she used tell me 'why do they not like me?' and I used to say nothing. "Mary" is driving me crazy and my other friends are getting fed up. I'm thinking it's time to just go the hard way and just tell her straight up, but if I do that she might be offended and tell the teachers! I feel guilty, but I'm not going to sacrifice my success for her. I'm not going to pick 1/10 people for her? I AM LITERALLY SO ANGRY_
So obviously it's your fault so to say. You should have told her at the begining that you do not appreciate her talking. You need to do it now. Just tell her that you can't take it anymore and she needs to stop talking to you. If she feels offended, that is her problem, not yours. As simple as that.
@@jacominahofmeester7815 Well, mine is only a general advice - I can't address all the issues, especially psychological ones - I am not trained in that.
I had a female boss who was a machine gun talker. I told her but she knew about herself but not enough to think it was a real problem. Everyone in the company rolled their eyes. I am glad she is no longer in my life.
My younger sister talks NON-STOP. As an introverted and quiet guy, it drives me insane and drains my energy. It’s like I’m listening to her 24 hour personal commentary.
Same ordeal with my sistet,told her about it,she said she will give all the details she wants when talking there is no help for her if she refuses to listen.
OMG! So true, I am a Semi truck driver and trainer of drivers... STUDENTS TALK A LOT.. I stuggle to make them stop without being rude, when i try to add my opinion they think they wont listen. I will try to be more direct hopefully they dont get all angry and call me racist again
Most people who talk a lot are needy and if you try to talk to them about it will be hurtful and considered unloving which I always want to be loving. I just avoid them - hard when it’s family. : (
See the thing is I don’t even have an issue with people who talk a lot about random shit,interesting facts and what not but when every time I hang out it’s always about their life it makes me resentful and idk why
Thanks a lot for the video, much help! I struggle with this because I don't like attacking the other person by saying something bad. I think it could help to focus on defending yourself. Always trying to defend your calmness and good humour, so when yo feel that someone is starting to alter that you tell them before you lose your temper.
Don't look at this as you attacking anyone or saying anything bad. What you are doing is setting boundaries with some unstable people. The same way you would protect yourself from a tiger or bear. Not only is is good for everyone, but it's also necessary. Protect yourself first with no mercy for the mentally unstable.
I want to stop talking, I really do. I don't like being this person. I make myself stop to listen to the other person, because I want to communicate better. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
You're not, I have ADHD and constantly want to share my stories and opinions. It's frustrating-- I can hear myself turning into a broken record around my friends. Lately though I've been trying to catch myself from starting off sentences with "I" "me" or "my", and staying away from gossip. It's a really difficult habit to grow out of, but meditating and clearing my head has helped a lot. The whole thing is really just figuring out how to contain your thoughts and be more open to other people :)
Sorry I thought that you were not diagnosed and you seemed to have the same symptoms a friend of mine has. I don’t think that you mentioned that you were diagnosed so, I presume you had not been. The fact that you are trying says a lot about the person that you are.
These comments are so Hilarious and your advice has me laughing so hard. But your right😂😢😮😅...Hold me up, Im on the floor laughing!! I'm so tired of the talkative people..I'M TIRED...
Talk show host, Johnny Carson could handle any guest to ever be on his show. I recently watched him dealing with a woman who talked too much, and he combined directness with humor. He'd humorously remind her of his original question before she went off on a tangent, saying, "So all of this is leading to the answer of how you and your husband met?" He interrupted with his original question about three times. When she protested that the answer required a little background and history, he said, "Ok, so first you were born, then..." He also did not hesitate to quickly and frequently interrupt her mid-sentence. He just refused to let her control the show. (And the woman he was interviewing was an interesting person with some very endearing qualities.)
My friend is exactly like you said: ppl already told her she talks way too much (I wouldn't let her know bcs I don't want to hurt the relationship).. but she brags about it like it's her good quality; she herself likes to say she's communicative and can't see she's looking for attention all the time and being inconvenient.. and plus, she doesn't respect ppl's time (always VERY late and taking too long when she calls or comes to hang out).. several times we've been on the phone from 12 to 15 hours.. don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking to her.. but lately been having to just say I have to go after 5hours (we live in different countries), which is more than enough anyway..
C'est Magnifique - Holy crap. If she's able to talk for 12-15 hours that's just crazy. Someone like this will take up your entire day! Plus she won't respect you for listening that long. I say 3 hours should be a maximum amount of time talking on phone or webchat/webcall. Even then, the 3 hours shouldn't be very often. We must realize that people can usually get out all that they need to in 20-30 minutes of talking at the most, even if there's a big story. All the rest of the time is mostly just them repeating themselves. This friend of yours likely has a lot of anxiety issues (and possibly narcissistic) even if she is nice.
@@JamesOsyris lol 😆 yes, bl00dy 5 hours!!! these days we stay out of touch for 1month or more.. then suddenly do a long call like that.. as per me, we would have a 2-hour call every week or two, but no, I can tell she doesn't like consistence.. it's cold for several weeks, then super hot..
@@KamilsView ...ah have this with my father who I am living with ...I, my mum, brother etc have told him countless times...... it makes absolutely no difference ...and being rude always feels uncomfortable afterwards....very difficult ..... ....so many times I just have to get away....
This might work on some occasions, but if it’s a coping mechanism they have been relying on for decades it will be ineffectual! I often wonder if my past self who rambled a lot is now being confronted with it.. I go through phases where I say two words.. now i always monitor my blabbing and keep it down to a minimum.. I hope I will be surrounded by like minded individuals in the near future, cause I am going nuts hearing people not even stop to breathe ever.. i guess it’s better than ppl who complain all the time, but not by much!
I am dealing with a annoying roommate who constantly talks and won't shut up omg they talk to or the dog ,they talk loud on their cell phone, they blast their radio 😑 ,they slam cabinets and the microwave, they paece back and forth, they stomp up and down the stairs, they slam the door or keep it open in the winter .
I'm an introvert who really enjoys solitude every now and then. My sibling is the total opposite. She has called me daily every day this week. It's nothing personal against the person, it's just that I get tired and annoyed of the person if I'm exposed to them too much. I just need like a two day break from the phone conversations to recharge and be alone with my thoughts and would preferably talk on the phone twice or three times a week. He loves talking on the phone, I hate the phone. I've compromised my comfort levels and have talked to him everyday, he knows I'm not a phone person.g Is it wrong to not want to talk to a sibling every day?
You should not allow others invade your space. He needs to find someone who is happy to talk all day long. Tell him that you will answer the phone anymore if he does not stop. He is rude and inconsiderate. Your inner peace is the most important thing in the world. Don't let anyone dictate you how you should live your life.
I said look!!!! We have to get this work done!!!! He continues to talk, non-stop, like I haven't said anything. This is going on for a month and a half at work. I told him.... "YOU HAVE NO CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE. It continues every..... single......day!!!!!!!
I started faking death by boredom, but that won't help my issues😆 ok....I might find a copy of ' the celestine prophecy' it explains energy stealing and flow in conversations. Thankyou.
So it’s easier for you to be rude rather than straight up tell someone that they talk too much? Interesting. Hopefully you’re not doing something that’s socially inept and the person just gives you their back.
I have this woman CONSTANTLY seeking me at work. She is not trying to "have" me..she has a husband. But I can not get a single break in without her wanting to TALK TO ME ABOUT HER HUSBAND whom i went to school with 17 YEARS AGO. WTF DO I DO!? I don't want to hurt her feeling...but i am not her in-law...her husband and I are NOT Friends (not enemies..but cmon we're in our 30s now). She is VERY annoying. All i did was over hear her talking about her husband and I told her that i went to school with him. SHE HAS BEEN MY PREDATOR EVERY SINCE. Asking for rides...always intruding on conversations and my personal time (at work)...etc....she is WEIRD beyond REASON. I don't hate her...i just DO NOT want to be her friend.
My Mother is talkative, it is pretty hard, I cannot be rude lol, but at the same time is so annoying, she only speaks about herself, about the past, her enemies and doesn't stop, if you get out she continues to speak alone, at least I thought that happen sometimes.
@@carolmuehleman824 hahaha omg, too familiar, it's torture. I don't even think it's because we attract these people. I think it's because they are continuously searching for someone who will listen, and eventually they find us.
@@Teytuu Yeah I know but I can't just leave school. What I do to fix it is ask the teacher to sit me on my own so I don't have anyone to talk to. It works most of the time.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
"You are upset with yourself because you allowed that person to dominate you" Wow, that resonates.
People who can't stop talking Will suck the energy Right out of you
Straight facts
Bryan Leovy I’m drained rn 😔
Fact
Yohh so true !!
And give them all the energy to keep talking
Excessive talking is a sign of weakness, these people would not survive outside of their bubble
Agreed
Damn my brother gonaa die
People like that are to selfish and annoying
Weakness? How so?
Not true at all. I am guilty of over talking. Some people can not enjoy the silence of a chill session like others. Wish I could 😪 Why I started to become a hermit.
Co-worker ☹️she talks likes she’s on a loop.. all about herself day in, day out,and when I speak, she magnifiers her voice and speaks over me.. I’m going to try this... thank you 🙏
Yes that’s the wrost talking over u like big mouth omg be quiet 🤫 lol fr
That’s why I’m here….
man same here…
Bro holy shit same man I got a new co worker and this person talks so fucking much I will walk away but some times if I'm able to get a word in the person cuts me off before I can finish and this happened when I was trying to tell some one a story and the person kept interrupting me and I even said loudly hold on let me say this they interrupted me so I said it again hold on let me finish this ! And the fucking person kept talking and I was done I was fucking dumbfounded so when I go back to work I am done speaking to this person fuck that I will not speak unless it's about the job fuck that.
@Chrissy Mariah Hill run for the hills 🙅
I've noticed some people talk because they can't stand silence and also because they just like the sound of their own voice and no one else's.
I talk ALL THE TIME mainly because if I don't talk or hear someone talk (why im always on TH-cam so I don't talk to myself) I am stuck with my own thoughts and for me half of the time there not great thoughts.
Liliane Lambert can you stfu no1 care
@@InkFilledCity Seems you like to be the center of attention. No one cares about what you have to say as you will just annoy and bore people with your endless droning on.
They should buy a voice recorder, record their blabbering for 1 hour , playback the audio on repeat and spare innocent people out of their dumb conversations.
@@fordgt402 Yes, I like peace and quiet, and I see chatty people as just "Look at me I want attention everyone" types of people. They are insufferable bores.
My next door neighbour talks non stop. Its all one way. She absolutely terrorises us. As soon as I see her I rush in the door of our house to avoid losing 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
You’re funny but, I feel the exact same way.
@@MochaBrady My heart sinks when I see her!
I have to look out all my windows to make sure the coast is clear before I go outside
@@uf9309 That is like “Keeping Up Appearances”. Haha it’s sort of funny when you think about it but, it’s not funny when it’s actually happening to you.
@@uf9309 Let's hope things get better and you can walk out in peace!
Being someone who doesnt talk much is great because when you do speak, the whole room gets quiet and listens.
Facts
True. But I've also experienced were the talkee is family and does not shut up even when you tell them to shut up. They don't listen, then get all butt hurt because of what I said to them.
Not true when you're in a room full of bird brain narcissists
Listening is an art. Talking too much is a dagger.
I’m literally watching this while my cousin is talking...
Lol.
This is a genius way to get a person to stop talking to you lol just play this video infront of them 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂
You have my feelings
Talkative people wonder why no one comes to them if a person has a problem. The more talking you do, the less you listen. Why vent to someone who doesn’t listen?
Interesting thought
Why be polite? The talkative person is being rude to you. Just come straight out and tell the; "You talk to much and you don't let other people get a word in. It's very rude and no one likes it so stop doing it or stop talking to me". Just leave it at that. If they get mad and never speak to you again, is it really going to bother you?
Christopher Bradley It feels pretty bad to be rude. Even if they deserve it I end thinking I was too hard on them. Also the biggest overtalker I know is my dad. We get along really well otherwise, so I dont want him to stop speaking to me.
I found that I was being hard on myself for putting up with it -- also a family member, relations tense due to family history etc. But then as Kamil says, I resented that the person was dominating me. All in past tense because it turns out I don't wan't to see them anymore. In the end you are doing both you and them a disservice because they also do it to others and it is a form, even if a mild one, of abuse. that's not okay!
I told my friend that and she was like "i know i talk too much hahahha" and she continue talking fml
Because she is my mother in law and I respect her but she talks for hours
Christopher Bradley I am a person who always talks to everybody ...i can't stand silence ...sorry if this bothers you but I don't do that to be rude or to mess with someone...Sometimes people react like you and i honestly dont get what i did wrong ...usually i just get really sad...Its not like i dont let anyone else talk I actually ask alot of questions about the person i am talking to because i want to know more about them ...i just want SOMEONE to talk about anything...so I have a question ...how is it rude to actually want to get to know someone through this behavior or to actually want to cheer someone up by this? I dont get how talking is a bad thing! And why supposedly 'no one ' wants that...can you tell me?
Also I am deeply sorry english is not my first language:(
My sister never stops talking, and also talks too loud. She doesn’t talk about herself, but about everything that comes into her mind. She even talks to herself when she’s alone, like in the bathroom! She’s extremely sensitive, vulnerable, and needy, and I’m afraid this approach won’t work with her. She would get very defensive and hurt. I end up not talking much at all when I’m around her. And I also feel frustrated and angry. She has no friends, and I can see why. I wish I knew how to let her know without hurting her!
Share this video? Sometimes people who enable you don't love you because they don't want to tell you the truth because they are afraid of hurting them. People don't tell me the truth and I don't trust them. Tell her the truth in love.
when my husband wont shut up I wear a headphone!
@@overgrowthplanet7531 cut her out.
Shes not sensitive at all. Im sensitive and when I speak too much which rarely happens I feel my energy is drained too.
Shes actually an energy vampire. Totally opposite of being sensible and sensisitive. She probably has mental issues like ADHD and other stuff.
Avoid her.
Yes, especially when they don't take a breath for you (me) to say anything.
Ya, straight forward does not work because they get offended so it's best just to avoid conversation and just cut them off .
That’s true, some folks know they are like that and wouldn’t love to change who they are, the best advice is ignore them or talk to them when it’s really necessary.
This is honestly my life. It happens to my husband and I all of the time! It’s like we are some how attracting these sort of people. The other day it happened in a small group that I was supposed to be leading. Some man walks in and hijacks the whole gathering. Wouldn’t stop talking for at least 20 mins! Then he’d start again anytime he could interrupt me. He was basically teaching the group at that point and I had no idea how to politely tell him to stop talking. I hate being rude, but I think it’s time for us to stand up for ourselves! Thank you for this video. It’s really good advice.
Nothing wrong with being rude. Also, be more assertive than rude. Just stop him and ask him not to interrupt as that is very rude. He is rude and you need to stop him.
Mine, too. No matter where I go, people come up to me and tell me their whole life story. Happens to me daily with my family. For hours and hours and hours. Used to happen to me at work...AS MY PHONE WAS RINGING OF THE HOOK and I clearly needed to grab it. A lot of people don't understand the give and take of a conversation anymore. Or they do and just don't care.
What a garbage human he is. Probably has nothing going on for himself. Pathetic.
@@TheNikki284 they just dont care
Thank you, Kamil. I am too passive, so my friends like to talk over and down to me... One friend, in particular, just talks too much about her self/problems and never allow me to get one word in...when I get a word in, she dismisses me by saying "you are NOT LISTENING!" So, I often avoid these particular friends.
same
This was excellent advice! As a very empathic person who truly listens to others, I have the problem of attracting people who want to extend the conversation endlessly, even if they do give me my turns in the conversation. People, whether they know me well or barely at all, or anywhere in between, seem to somehow sense that I can be like their therapist. I have no idea how strangers assume this too. I wonder if it's my energy and how it's perceived?
Nevertheless, your advice to be DIRECT is very helpful. Now I have to muster the courage to do this, without worrying about what they may think about me or how my reputation can be damaged by it. This is because being direct will likely invite defensiveness and possibly vengeful/retaliatory behavior.
Olive the same thing happens to me. I think it's bcuz people sense that we're caring and empathetic and a lot of people tend to take advantage of that. I also worry about anything that even might be confrontational, and I worry that they might have a negative reaction then I worry Well, then what will I do? It's an easy thing to say but much harder to execute in real life: if we start standing up for ourselves it will help our self esteem in the long run and make it easier and help us feel more confident about doing things like this in the future. Good luck and please wish me luck too! I'm currently dealing with a temporary flatmate who does this. I'm beyond angry and irritated! I don't even feel comfortable in my own home anymore. I eventually had to enlist the help of someone else to make this stop. And that's okay when we're learning to stick up for ourselves-- in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy they teach you that it is okay to use this method at first.
Captain Howdy - I know your post was from half a year ago, but how is your situation now with your roommate who talks too much? I have a friend who likes to talk my ear off on the phone for 2 hours straight, and he feels that he needs to repeat himself and his stories over and over, regardless if I tell him I've heard them dozens of times. He'll also talk over me. If there's a small window for me to start speaking he'll sometimes quickly butt in and start talking right over me. It's rude and I can tell he's trying to be dominant. My problem is that I work for him part time with shipping things out for him, and so I feel somewhat trapped! Lol. I should add that other than this issue he's actually a nice and respectful person most of the time. He really loves to hear himself speak though.
@@captainhowdy4285 omg, I never knew that so many people suffer under these "over talkers" I just randomly searched for this topic because I have a friend who is actually a very good person in the heart, but she is addicted to drama and cannot deal with problems so she uses me to hear her out. I am the kinda person who is like all of you here, don't have the heart to tell them that her behaviour is a problem for us.
It's insane torture to sit through a session with her, listen to the same problems for the umpteenth time, and if you can manage to get a word in, she would interrupt before you finish your first sentence and will make it all about her... The worst part is, she talks really really slow and drags each sentence for a long time, and every story must start with a long ass intro with a sub story before the mid story.
Omg!!! Please kill me.
But man, the fact that you have to enlist someone to save you, that's too funny. At least you have help. I don't.
I hope your problem is no longer living in your house.
But I think these types of people find people like us, who are trying to be good listeners and aren't rude enough to tell them when to stop.
This!!!!!! People seem to have a sense i good to talk to and be a therapist and they go on and on and on when im busy
@@mariach46 I think I've found the flatmate.
Eventually people just come out with it in anger....
Mate! your drilling my head with your constant talk with no ending in sight.
Why don't you stop watching then?
Da Stig that's what happens to me. Anything I see that MIGHT be confrontational I try to stay away from. Then the anger just builds and builds inside of me until I end up blowing up at the person and they're like "Wtf" bcuz they never knew I had an issue with it in the first place. It is so difficult for highly sensitive people to speak about how they feel. I literally feel like I'm going crazy right now!!! 😡😡😡😠
Yes, for me as well- I have let it build up to anger
Great advice. Best thing to do is be direct.
I think people who talk too much are a little bit "Coo-koo" to not realize that are talking non stop. I just avoid these people, stop returning phone calls etc. and they go away after a while.
I have a family member who does this and when she traps me in one of her boring 90 minute stories (that could be told in 3 minutes) I interrupt her and say "I have to go to the bathroom" and quick to say my goodbyes. No one ever questions needing to go the bathroom.
I'm starting to teach her that I prefer text instead of phone calls and I notice she's texting more...Thank God!
***** Lol. That's a good strategy. Did you tell her she simply talks too much?
Kamil's View No because she is my sister and not a casual friend. I will have her in my life forever so I don't want it to ever be awkward. If I were ever homeless or needed a kidney she's the only one in the world who will really help me, and that deserves a level of respect and tolerance.
So I just gently nudge her to get to the point faster and it's been working.
+Kamil's View - Mastery of Life
I often need to say my woman , now keep your radio shut and she understands.
lol
Oh my goodness 90 minutes that’s way too long. I would have collapsed if I were you. Texting is great to avoid people who talk too much. I dont know if it’s just me but, I find Some of the responses funny. Ya, I think they are coo coo too.
I asked my dad did you like the show? He starts rambling about this and that even started talking about old cassette players. But i just wanted to know if he liked the show. I told him you talk to much, he got mad at me.
Eh, its so much harder when its your family members. Sorry you had to go through that.
@@supersarah5673 you shouldn't do that when you're family is tryna talk to you when they're not being mean. They just wanna talk to you and ate probably lonely without you
Your parents are people you should show more patience then others... they showed you much more by raising you
Well with my dad it’s completely different. He literally for days in a row talks about politics and each day he talks for 3 to 5 hours. It’s annoying. Especially when he talks about theories. Which yeah some of them see legit but others are just completely crazy. He almost says the same things every time with maybe 2 new things that came out from his resources. Like yeah dad politics is important but not for everyday. Plus politics in general is just too toxic to talk about even if your talking to a person who has the same ideals as you. God I love my dad but I hate this part of him. Thank god I’m 18 so I guess I can move out soon.
Pretend you have a phone call. Say you need the restroom. Or, say you are due for an appointment and run away.
:-)
Your advice is good, it's NOT rude, it's direct, I have to housemates which need to be put straight. One of them rambles on and onnnnn about his drunken nights out to me, the other constantly talks over you and dismisses (anything) you have to say! I literally have to run to my room if I see them or wear headphones in the house! it sounds funny but its not, they are SO irritating!
+James B OK, so have a chat with them and let me know how it went. Good luck.
Dude, I'm in the same situation. Only have one irritating roommate to put up with, but it still sucks
The Oracle I know!!!
No one should have to deal with this shit.
@@dl733sak I had a roommate like that too who was annoying as fuck and he was always bored and he thought just because he bored, that he was gonna drive me crazy too lol i don't get bored because I love my solidarity
Thank you for the great advice, this person is my Sister and I can’t escape the rambling. It makes me uncomfortable to have to see her.
MomoHawk golly ..... introverts get a hard time..... but damn extroverts talk too damn much sometimes. It’s like dude stfu
my brother has a girl who is verbally constant and he picks at himself to deal with the barrage, it is upsetting to see but he get to share the drugs she gets everyday so he allows it. I have let them both know how it makes me feel but they still do it, i`m going to leave them be and get on with my life. I`ll be there if he ever leaves her but for now i can pcture her rambling on about utter shit and i often fantasize of punching her teeth out
I am a talkative person myself , I am a chatterbox, I mainly speak about myself ( I do give others a chance to speak though ) and it's only now that I am realizing that people get annoyed.
At first I thought it's more of a personality thing , but now I see that it's a sign of narcissism, being weak , having low self esteem and other congenital issues . I was even thinking of isolating myself from everyone because that seems to be the only way to control myself .
Thanks for such a wonderful video , I'm now working on myself :)
Thank you for sharing! I think that because now you are aware of the issue you will be more aware of how conversations flow. Sometimes people are truly unaware that this behavior is annoying. I would really like your input on an issue I am having because you are a "chatterbox". I only have 2 friends and they are both great people. I do not want to lose either one of them, but they both are incessive speakers. They both seem to run on constant loops of same stories and I sit and listen but it is getting to the point where I find it hard to put myself through it. One of my friends I only talk to 1 time a month because that is all I can handle and the other I have started to lose focus and daydream during conversations which I can tell hurts her feeling when she notices. So my question to you is how would you want to be told that you are speaking too much without getting upset, embarrassed or wanting to end the friendship? I truly do love my friends but I would love our conversations to be less one sided.
I hope you're successful. God bless.
@@flintwick186 As a talkative person or rather a chatterbox, it hurts when someone tells you that . But we honestly have to face the truth . I don't think your friends are aware that you get annoyed whenever they start talking too much , I myself for one was not aware until I searched for these videos . When I came across such videos , I had a mental breakdown due to realising the impact I have on people because of my nasty behavior , therefore if someone told me , I would've been three times worse. I don't know if you get my point.
My advice is : instead of telling them , make them see these videos by maybe posting them on your status and pouring your heart out when you comment . That will somehow give them a hint . I dont know if thats a good advice , but that's what I would've done.
If ever you want to tell them , please make sure you become honest with them , and tell them how you feel and how this has affected you . Be respectful when talking to them . If they don't see a problem with their behavior or they don't think what you are feeling is valid , then it means they don't love you like you love them . I hope this helps.
My mom constantly talks and talks and talks.
She waits until I put my headphones. Especially then.
I can’t even do that I wait until she done
@@mpmmusic8472 Ah the monologue..
I have ANC headphones on and my mom will get mad I'm like you've been talking to yourself for a hour you need help
I smell narcs
There’s a “friend” I had that talks way more than she listens and I’ve told her about it countless times yet she continued to be rude with her not listening and dominating all of the conversations. I decided to just cut her out of f my life and no longer take her phone calls 🤔
Well done. Keep it up.
Just ignore them forever.
Yeah, if possible.
I have said with a smile “oh I thought this was a conversation”. People who realize they have this habit then can catch themselves in about a second or two. I’m working on some speech habits and I really appreciate when a friend points something out.
That is a great response. I will remember that sentence. Thank you
I have one person who is a “cronic talker”, and very dominant too. Shedrive me crazy and sometime i got sick because her voice is everywhere. One of these days, i will tell her straight like you suggested.
I get sick too. It’s exhausting.
I had a friend who was like this and never shut up. My friends and I would joke how we put the phone down for several minutes to do something else, pick it up again,she would still be talking. The thing I hated the most was when we would be in the car, she would talk over the music, I would turn it up to max volume, she would still talk over the music! So annoying. We don’t have this problem anymore because she died 5 years ago.
Damn that's cold. But she was insane. Who speaks over loud music.
I am dealing with this right now. I have a lot of experience in mental health, as I am a licensed social worker with a long history in mental health/illness. But I have to say that sometimes people who have pathological problems, or have had a head injury, or who are manic, do not care what others think much of the time. They have one agenda. To talk about themselves as much as they can, to anyone who will stand still long enough to listen, for any length of time. Then they go on to the next person. There are some who are just chatty, who can be redirected, but non-stop talkers often cannot stop. The one I am dealing with is the worst case I have seen. He is manic, has a past head injury, and has sociopathic tendencies. He is a mixed bag of diagnoses, and I am struggling to help him, as he got hit by a car, broke his hip, and is now on a walker. He is my tenant, and he thinks nothing of calling me 6 times a day to give me his latest thought on just about anything. It is exhausting. If I try to tell him it is too much, he gets mad. He has no one to help him, and he is almost 70. He has driven others away in the neighborhood, so no one else will help him, and he can't afford to pay anyone. Just needed to vent.
I get it. Not a good place for you to be in, nor for the guy. Well, fortunately, such extreme cases are rare.
My mother in law is a non-stop compulsive talker. It is exhausting. I listen to a lot of talk-radio and podcasts where people who are interesting and entertaining talk for over an hour, but my mother in law is not the case; she talks compulsively about the same things of 30 years ago, non-stop like a 10-year-old, is never quiet for more than a minute all day, and doesn't let anyone talk, constantly interrupts. She is in her 60's, takes pills for all kinds of aches and depression which makes her a little loopy, and wants nothing more than to be the center of attention and life of the party when everyone wants to relax and enjoy a peaceful family time. She is like a puppy that won't settle down and needs constant attention "listen to me, look at me, let me tell you about, I was, I am, I want to". If you make the slightest expression of discontent because she is talking too much, she gets offended, almost cryies, and labels everyone "mean".
@@michtig I'm dealing with that myself! And its my own mother! And yes it is deeply exhausting especially when we're at a meeting.
I rarely talk to her now, unless if I need to inform something or need information.
Now here's a tip that helps me, might work with you. Ask her direct questions! Like I said, I only go up to her now if I need info or I have to inform. So yes she won't be getting to point, she will elongate the conversation. What I do is keep my ears keen. When I got valued info from the long "lecture" she gives. Then I make sure to interrupt with a next QUESTION.
Another thing that helps, and that's when you're talking or explaining, if your mother-in-law is like my mother, she will try to interrupt you over and over especially when you're talking to a group of people, so what you do is kindly tell her, "let me finish, you will get your turn to speak". Basically you're reassuring her to calm down, she'll get her chance to "shine". Hope that helps. It won't makes things perfect, but it's a few things I've learned to lessen the stress when I have to talk to a person that has bad social and listening skills.
You know someone talks to much when they ask you something then starts guessing your answer. Also when they start talking to animals even though you're right there.
I just had this problem with a cab driver. He just wouldn't SHUT UP. I'm on the big 'P' too. So Im already in a fowl mood. I just put my headphones on.
He got the picture after about 5 minutes.
My mother never stops talking and she knows it is agitating but still keeps on talking. If I tell her, she gives silent treatment like I'm rude. I would do anything for her and she knows and takes advantage of the situation because I'm a captive audience. I wish the advice in this video would work for me without hurting her feelings.
Everytime I encounter a chatterbox, I come back to this video. They exist in Japan too.
This is my wife and her dad. Its overwhelming
It is totally overwhelming and most people who don't experience it daily will play it off like it's funny. It's not. I'm with you.
If you don’t mind me asking, why would you wife a woman who talks all over you? I can’t imagine she became like this overnight years into the marriage.
@@michellete8545 I’m curious too
I have someone like this in my life and he even days "yeah. Yeah. Yeah" dismissively as if he couldn't be bothered when you say something
Dude so true then they curve everything you say
My coworker is ruining my day. She won't stop talking about her life and gossip stuff. It's really annoying because I can't concentrate in my work.
If I ignore her, she goes like: what's going on? Are you Ok?
Wow I love this and it really made me laugh because as a British person, dealing with another British (and older person) who I'm living with who never stops talking and never lets me speak, I could NEVER imagine being this upfront with them! Us British people love to be indirect and beat around the bush, or ignore speaking up about how we feel! I'm going to try and work up the courage to say this as I get so drained and waste so much time just standing there being an echo chamber for this person's endless, mundane thoughts, but this is an extremely blunt approach and will be received differently in different cultures. The trouble I have is that the person I want to say this to is my live-in landlady, so if I upset her I'm concerned she will kick me out of the house. Let's see, I would love to try this method but I need to find the right way and moment to do it.
I know the British in particular are especially afflicted by this, but as I said, that landlady already knows she is talkative. Ask yourself: Do I want to live in fear all my life? (the fear of being kicked out ?) Or do I want to stand for my own happiness and wellbeing?
Right, lets "lets go round the houses" love. :)
Echo chamber! love it!! I feel ya!! I feel the same as you. I love that analogy ECHO CHAMBER! love it!!!
If someone talks to much, the best advise i can give you. is to be in silence you dont need to talk. Just listen. After a while they will stop talking to you. They ain't going to bother with someone who dosnt respond.
I have a friend like that. He holds a monologue with me bragging about his kids accomplishments and the rich lifestyle he lives. It’s a real chore in having to listen to him. After we’re done I realize he doesn’t know a thing about what’s going on with me but i know everything that’s going on with him.
There are a lot of videos about this who recommend all kinds of "soft" and polite strategies for this problem. None of them are as good as this. Direct and simple. You really hit the nail on the head.
Life is too short to let other bully us!
I always wonder why these people who won’t stop talking can’t understand that they’ve been talking for like 1 hour and people around are just bored... Can’t they read other people’s facial expressions?
They don't care usually as they are in their own minds.
If they are talking to you in person then just walk away.
Thank you, I needed this
My sister is like that nonstop talking. It can give me a nervous breakdown.
Yea… no way in hell I'm doing that 😅 My coworker is the king of one way talking, loves talking about himself, and will not let you get a word in. I realized the best way to handle these people is to
1. Never be the first one to make eye contact with them because they'll take that as an invatation to bother you.
2. Give little to no response to what they're saying
3. Do obvious fake laughs
4. Make minimal eye contact during the conversation.
And eventually they will f*ck off :) As a people pleaser, this is hard for me to do but it must be done.
My brother-in-law is, right at this very moment, talking non-stop to me about redundant stuff like mortgage insurance or what dogs eat or some such nonsense. In that time I've searched this video, watched it, and typed this comment, all while wearing my headphones through which he can clearly hear the audio so it's obvious that I'm not listening to him. But he just keeps on talking anyway - resilient and unhindered. Occasionally he trails off and starts to walk away but just as my blood pressure begins to normalize he comes back and starts talking all over again.
Now he's trying to feed my dog a potato chip.
Why don't you punch him in the face? :-)
Ok, don't do that. Just tell him not to speak to you more than twice a day.
Lmao does even even have a job or some hobby?
LOL, this is the most honest video I've seen on this! Love it! I've started being very honest to the people I care about but I think this one is difficult if you've just gotten to know the person and they actually have a good heart. But yes, dominating a conversation is not nice, so I should be able to give that as feedback. Let's hope I can put this into practice 🙈
It's just good knowing I'm not the only one who is witnessing this. I usually am rude to them, but they don't care bc it turns out many are just emotionally unavailable ppl who really can't help it. These are not my friends. They are co-workers who I have no choice but to deal with them.
Well done for standing for yourself and dealing bravely with bullies.
@@KamilsView Thanks for the encouragement!
@@endigosun Thanks for a very generous comment. My plasure.
There is a simple way to shut them up!
My family talk too much
and too loud!!
I can still hear them through my headphone!!
My friend keeps talking to me even when im trying to relax i told him "you're talking to much i wanna relax"
But he just doesnt stop so i just walked away
And if he talk about anything you dont care just say "i dont care"
Once l had this with a man he would make a very good tea when you went to his home, was allowed to use his computer , then he would talk non stop, l would then go home and he would call me on the phone when l got home! Non stop talk every night for months l could not get a word in at all.! In the end l night l unplugged my landline phone so l could get round and do the housework!!l had no mobile then. And my brother went round to talk to him he never bothered me again.
Sometimes they will not even realize they talk so much. They may even say you are the one who is talking too much! They lack self-awareness.
Thanks! That I've been searching for it for ages! It's a key hot to close the Pandora box! Thanks a lot I'll try to apply this approach with such people. Because they annoy a lot and only thing you do is freezing and waiting when their speech would be finished
So how is it going? Have you had any success?
I have a friend that won't let me get a word in or to finish what I'm saying. They often say "I already know what you were about to say", but then I have to raise my voice and say "NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!!", Then I finally finish and they admit they didn't know I was going to say that. It's usually people who think you have no insights or anything worth listening to. So they don't respect you. Some think you're dumb. I'm going to just start turning around and walking away when they interrupt me or it's just them talking AT me.
And some people are just losers, so walk away from them as fast as you can!
Thank you Kamil, much appreciated and subscribed.
"Let's say she's a woman" you legend!
Lol. What do you mean she's a woman? It's late, I'm tired so maybe I need extra explanation.
It implies that you assume that most people who talk too much are women. This is because there was no need to give a gender as an example at all. In my experience as a health care professional (and normal human), men and women equally do this. If anything, I have experienced this more with men, especially those who want to "smooth talk me".
I know.many men who do this.
*_Please reply!_*
_EDIT: It's long_
_I have a "friend" (let's call her Mary) and she had 0 friends on the first day of school. I had loads of friends and she wanted some to- so she ran to me and then tried to become friends with me. Although she's quite nice, she is very cunning and can be extremely annoying. "Mary" was not very smart in her studies (and EVERYONE hated her) but I used think they hated her for no reason. However, I began to notice she talked ALOT and never let others speak! My problem with her was that she relied on me and used talks about her everyday dramas ONLY TO ME. We were barely friends in Primary but in Secondary/High school, "Mary" acted like we were best friends, when I don't even like her! SHE USED ME FOR FRIENDS. She knows very well that nobody likes her and she used tell me 'why do they not like me?' and I used to say nothing. "Mary" is driving me crazy and my other friends are getting fed up. I'm thinking it's time to just go the hard way and just tell her straight up, but if I do that she might be offended and tell the teachers! I feel guilty, but I'm not going to sacrifice my success for her. I'm not going to pick 1/10 people for her? I AM LITERALLY SO ANGRY_
So obviously it's your fault so to say. You should have told her at the begining that you do not appreciate her talking. You need to do it now. Just tell her that you can't take it anymore and she needs to stop talking to you. If she feels offended, that is her problem, not yours. As simple as that.
@@jacominahofmeester7815 Well, mine is only a general advice - I can't address all the issues, especially psychological ones - I am not trained in that.
I had a female boss who was a machine gun talker. I told her but she knew about herself but not enough to think it was a real problem. Everyone in the company rolled their eyes. I am glad she is no longer in my life.
I'm sure you're glad - I would be too :-)
My younger sister talks NON-STOP. As an introverted and quiet guy, it drives me insane and drains my energy. It’s like I’m listening to her 24 hour personal commentary.
Same ordeal with my sistet,told her about it,she said she will give all the details she wants when talking there is no help for her if she refuses to listen.
OMG! So true, I am a Semi truck driver and trainer of drivers... STUDENTS TALK A LOT.. I stuggle to make them stop without being rude, when i try to add my opinion they think they wont listen. I will try to be more direct hopefully they dont get all angry and call me racist again
Most people who talk a lot are needy and if you try to talk to them about it will be hurtful and considered unloving which I always want to be loving. I just avoid them - hard when it’s family. : (
Well, you need to explain to them that what they do is hurtful and unloving. They just shove their BS onto you all the time. Don't let them.
See the thing is I don’t even have an issue with people who talk a lot about random shit,interesting facts and what not but when every time I hang out it’s always about their life it makes me resentful and idk why
Have a chat with that person. If that does not help, stop seeing that person.
I hate people who talk too much. It’s fucking rude and ignorant
It's also a sign of anxiety.
Thanks a lot for the video, much help! I struggle with this because I don't like attacking the other person by saying something bad. I think it could help to focus on defending yourself. Always trying to defend your calmness and good humour, so when yo feel that someone is starting to alter that you tell them before you lose your temper.
Don't look at this as you attacking anyone or saying anything bad. What you are doing is setting boundaries with some unstable people. The same way you would protect yourself from a tiger or bear. Not only is is good for everyone, but it's also necessary. Protect yourself first with no mercy for the mentally unstable.
I want to stop talking, I really do. I don't like being this person. I make myself stop to listen to the other person, because I want to communicate better. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
You're not, I have ADHD and constantly want to share my stories and opinions. It's frustrating-- I can hear myself turning into a broken record around my friends. Lately though I've been trying to catch myself from starting off sentences with "I" "me" or "my", and staying away from gossip. It's a really difficult habit to grow out of, but meditating and clearing my head has helped a lot. The whole thing is really just figuring out how to contain your thoughts and be more open to other people :)
Cuz u a wetard
Maybe you should get tested for ADHD.
@@MochaBrady Why? I'm already diagnosed.
Sorry I thought that you were not diagnosed and you seemed to have the same symptoms a friend of mine has. I don’t think that you mentioned that you were diagnosed so, I presume you had not been. The fact that you are trying says a lot about the person that you are.
These comments are so Hilarious and your advice has me laughing so hard. But your right😂😢😮😅...Hold me up, Im on the floor laughing!! I'm so tired of the talkative people..I'M TIRED...
Good that I made you laugh ;-)
Talk show host, Johnny Carson could handle any guest to ever be on his show. I recently watched him dealing with a woman who talked too much, and he combined directness with humor. He'd humorously remind her of his original question before she went off on a tangent, saying, "So all of this is leading to the answer of how you and your husband met?" He interrupted with his original question about three times. When she protested that the answer required a little background and history, he said, "Ok, so first you were born, then..." He also did not hesitate to quickly and frequently interrupt her mid-sentence. He just refused to let her control the show. (And the woman he was interviewing was an interesting person with some very endearing qualities.)
Very good strategy. I guess we can always learn from someone who is a master. Thanks for that.
My friend is exactly like you said: ppl already told her she talks way too much (I wouldn't let her know bcs I don't want to hurt the relationship).. but she brags about it like it's her good quality; she herself likes to say she's communicative and can't see she's looking for attention all the time and being inconvenient.. and plus, she doesn't respect ppl's time (always VERY late and taking too long when she calls or comes to hang out).. several times we've been on the phone from 12 to 15 hours.. don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking to her.. but lately been having to just say I have to go after 5hours (we live in different countries), which is more than enough anyway..
C'est Magnifique - Holy crap. If she's able to talk for 12-15 hours that's just crazy. Someone like this will take up your entire day! Plus she won't respect you for listening that long. I say 3 hours should be a maximum amount of time talking on phone or webchat/webcall. Even then, the 3 hours shouldn't be very often. We must realize that people can usually get out all that they need to in 20-30 minutes of talking at the most, even if there's a big story. All the rest of the time is mostly just them repeating themselves. This friend of yours likely has a lot of anxiety issues (and possibly narcissistic) even if she is nice.
C'est Magnifique 5 hours???? I have a friend who talks for 30 mins and I feel like hanging up
I recognize that
@@JamesOsyris lol 😆 yes, bl00dy 5 hours!!! these days we stay out of touch for 1month or more.. then suddenly do a long call like that.. as per me, we would have a 2-hour call every week or two, but no, I can tell she doesn't like consistence.. it's cold for several weeks, then super hot..
Had a guy talk to me for 3 hours straight during my security job
Lol. Is he still alive or strangulated him?
Listen to Kamil - Then GET AWAY 🏃♀️ RUN 🏃♂️ FAST 💨
What if that person is your mom and you live together?
That's always a challenge. You need to communicate to that person many times in a calm manner in a clear way how you feel about them talking so much.
@@KamilsView ...ah have this with my father who I am living with ...I, my mum, brother etc have told him countless times...... it makes absolutely no difference ...and being rude always feels uncomfortable afterwards....very difficult .....
....so many times I just have to get away....
Thank you. This is a good way to go about it without being rude
This might work on some occasions, but if it’s a coping mechanism they have been relying on for decades it will be ineffectual! I often wonder if my past self who rambled a lot is now being confronted with it.. I go through phases where I say two words.. now i always monitor my blabbing and keep it down to a minimum.. I hope I will be surrounded by like minded individuals in the near future, cause I am going nuts hearing people not even stop to breathe ever.. i guess it’s better than ppl who complain all the time, but not by much!
Thanks Kamil, that is very helpful. You have given me a good strategy to use
Thank you so much. This video has forever changed my life!
I am dealing with a annoying roommate who constantly talks and won't shut up omg they talk to or the dog ,they talk loud on their cell phone, they blast their radio 😑 ,they slam cabinets and the microwave, they paece back and forth, they stomp up and down the stairs, they slam the door or keep it open in the winter .
They? How many? Just move out.
Crazy b
I don’t how I end up here, but I always tell them, I do it because I don’t want to hate them
I'm an introvert who really enjoys solitude every now and then. My sibling is the total opposite. She has called me daily every day this week. It's nothing personal against the person, it's just that I get tired and annoyed of the person if I'm exposed to them too much. I just need like a two day break from the phone conversations to recharge and be alone with my thoughts and would preferably talk on the phone twice or three times a week.
He loves talking on the phone, I hate the phone.
I've compromised my comfort levels and have talked to him everyday, he knows I'm not a phone person.g
Is it wrong to not want to talk to a sibling every day?
You should not allow others invade your space. He needs to find someone who is happy to talk all day long. Tell him that you will answer the phone anymore if he does not stop. He is rude and inconsiderate. Your inner peace is the most important thing in the world. Don't let anyone dictate you how you should live your life.
I said look!!!! We have to get this work done!!!! He continues to talk, non-stop, like I haven't said anything. This is going on for a month and a half at work. I told him.... "YOU HAVE NO CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE. It continues every..... single......day!!!!!!!
Well, sometimes a slap on the face does the trick.
I started faking death by boredom, but that won't help my issues😆 ok....I might find a copy of ' the celestine prophecy' it explains energy stealing and flow in conversations. Thankyou.
I just say hello hello I can’t hear you and then put my phone on air plane mode
Hello then! ;-)
Walk away, don't say anything; make them feel alone.. Kidding, tell them straight up... I need to focus on something right now, can we catch up later?
That is a strategy, too ;-)
Excellent, honestly i can't wait to see if this works. 🙂
Or just walk away while there talking
I've tried this and I'm shocked that they often don't even notice! It's like they're in their own little world of listening to themselves.
So it’s easier for you to be rude rather than straight up tell someone that they talk too much? Interesting. Hopefully you’re not doing something that’s socially inept and the person just gives you their back.
Dude once my mom would not stop copying me and I got annoyed. She violated my freedom of speech and when she had an option to let me talk she did not.
This helped me a whole lot. Thank you so much!
Pleased to hear it! Cheers
Finally! Someone with a solution. Thanks!
Doesn't work for me. Please help. 😭
I have this woman CONSTANTLY seeking me at work. She is not trying to "have" me..she has a husband. But I can not get a single break in without her wanting to TALK TO ME ABOUT HER HUSBAND whom i went to school with 17 YEARS AGO. WTF DO I DO!? I don't want to hurt her feeling...but i am not her in-law...her husband and I are NOT Friends (not enemies..but cmon we're in our 30s now). She is VERY annoying. All i did was over hear her talking about her husband and I told her that i went to school with him. SHE HAS BEEN MY PREDATOR EVERY SINCE. Asking for rides...always intruding on conversations and my personal time (at work)...etc....she is WEIRD beyond REASON. I don't hate her...i just DO NOT want to be her friend.
My Mother is talkative, it is pretty hard, I cannot be rude lol, but at the same time is so annoying, she only speaks about herself, about the past, her enemies and doesn't stop, if you get out she continues to speak alone, at least I thought that happen sometimes.
That may be her way of dealing with stuff. If you can't get her out of that - let her be. Don't feel guilty for leaving her talk.
I seem to attract this type of person like a magnet.... (it's awful)
I do to. I've been told I'm a good listener but I am actually bored out of my mind with their endless conversation and am barely awake.
@@carolmuehleman824 Lol. Same.
Me, too - we have the curse of being a “good listener”.
@@carolmuehleman824 we are to patient
@@carolmuehleman824 hahaha omg, too familiar, it's torture. I don't even think it's because we attract these people.
I think it's because they are continuously searching for someone who will listen, and eventually they find us.
Thank you for telling me that
That's like almost every person I know now, I prefer to be alone for a reason.
Well, when you accept that there are great people around, you will start meeting them.
I understand this feeling. I have chosen to be alone as well. The peace, is priceless.
People who talk too much have a fear of accepting truth about themselves.
They have nothing of value to speak of.
I'm the talkative one but I can't stop. It's so uncomfortable and i don't know what to do...
QueTheDoge 913 I’m very talkative it’s very hard to stop but sometimes for me it’s because I’m tired when I talk it keeps me awake idk why 😓
That's very inconsiderate of the other people in the room with you.
@@Teytuu Yeah I know but I can't just leave school. What I do to fix it is ask the teacher to sit me on my own so I don't have anyone to talk to. It works most of the time.
@@iwantthis5200 Try sitting without other people so you can't talk to them it worked for me.
literally everyone I have ever met.
A bit more difficult when it's your dad who is home all day everyday
Indeed.
I like this chap's blunt approach.