Imagine a man with a fiance/girlfriend talking about the same/similar things (playing video games, no job, etc). The responses would be completely different.
Hahahaha, so me. Except I don't play video games. Yes, you're right. The amount of hatred I have received for being unemployed is staggering. It's outrageous. It's not like we collect much in benefits anyway - far from enough to live on in a first-world country.
Nah your a winner, dont be so hard on yourself. I am 38 years old, still a virgin, cant drive, unattractive, have no friends, bad teeth and live with my parents, i am the poster child of being a loser but for me, i dont care, because i have a nice job helping animals and kind parents which keep me going, look for the positives in your life and take heart from that, all you need is to believe in yourself because you have courage and heart which will take you far, good luck maam, you are no loser.
Believing in Jesus is important, I understand what you mean by believing in yourself but I know He's more important than me by a long shot, I'm a jerk off.
That's awesome my last dog was a rescue dog and I had him for over 9 years. Keep trying keep plugging away and keep trying in life seriously I was addicted to heroin for 20 years and I've been off for 2 years and I'm still not to a place where I can work yet. I can tell you from somebody that was fortunate enough to do a lot of dating and have a lot of relationships with women before I got an heroin at 24 years old and no offense but to any women reading but mainly a lot of times after 18-20 they're only attracted to you for what they see in you money wise or where they think you're going. All my relationships before 20 were innocent and pure and had nothing to do with money those were the greatest times of my life because it was very much innocent it was great relationships had a lot of great times and had nothing to do with money. So a's an older person you're really not missing out a lot on women that much especially if you can't provide money for them that's something I know now also and realize and that I just have to be comfortable with being alone long term. and especially getting off drugs which was easy to be around women and drugs because the drugs break that barrier but now I'm clean and I'm attracted to normal women and they have no attraction to me at all and I don't blame them because I'm not making any money right now. Does it matter how good of a guy I am doesn't matter I've gone to 5 years of therapy doesn't matter I've overcome my addiction none of those things matter doesn't matter if I'm nice doesn't matter in those things I don't have my own house I'm not working full-time right now and so I am looked at like I am nothing.
Please Get out of of loser mentality, a year ago "loser virgin", now "loser maried unemployed women", may be next year "loser mother"...? Please get out of this mindset, celebrate your achievements ❤
You need cognitive behavioral therapy because your mind is stuck in the anxiety loop, like a broken record. It will help you to not make such a big deal out of your anxiety. Stop fighting with your anxiety but accept it, invite it into your life, and make it your friend.
@@soundandvision5382 Incorrect. You use it in an attempt to crush those you perceive as weaker or less than you are. This makes you bottom tier; beyond weak. Beyond slimy. You are scourge.
@@damonhtoo I don't know why her video popped on my YT feed, but I decided to give it a look in addition to some of her other videos. This poor girl was obviously subjected to verbal abuse tactics by a controlling mother. She has an anxious disposition by nature which is exacerbated by a controlling parent. She's in a state of arrested emotional development, hence her constant quest for a safety zone that won't elicit feelings of anxiety. She needs coping skills. Things will work out for her just fine...in time.
I really resonated with this video! I've dealt with similar issues in the past. I HATED driving (I eventually learned but god I hated learning, I thought I was never going to learn). Don't be too hard on yourself and don't compare yourself to other people!
1) Unplug from your dopamine injector (cell phone). 2) Stay unplugged for 48 hours. 3) Spend more time in nature. 4) Practice breathing, deeply. It will stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system and help you reduce anxiety. To Hell with the internet.
to change your breathing habits in stressful situations can take decades, since it is subconsious. medication takes between a few hours and a few months to work properly
You and Daniel (hidding in my room) are like modern day philosophers. You are both very smart and funny. You over think everything and are very hard on yourselves. Stop putting pressure on yourselves. Accept who you are and keep doing what you have been doing which is LIVING. Doing the best you can with what you have.
Your other content visiting places just hasnt hit the right audience yet. In time you will see how much you have grown since your video over a year ago. Congratulations. You have a conscious and your brain is telling you how much more you are capable of. The road for progress wont be linear, its not easy. Keep at it.
Uplug, like completely. walk out the door each morning and look for somebody to walk up to and seek to make their day, with a positive word. That positive word will bounce back to you, double. baby steps. -C
you will never get anywhere if you think of yourself as a loser. It all begins in the mind. If you would change your life, the place to start is by changing how you think. You are a human being. That is your primary identity, not loser.
Moving across the country, making your own TH-cam videos, getting engaged and moving in with your fiance. You were a waitress for a while and you are putting in the effort to learn how to drive despite the difficulty of it. Those are all things you should be proud of. Also you are introspective and trying to understand yourself, a lot of people go their whole lives without doing that. I admire your honesty and vulnerability and even though you are a stranger I think I could learn from you too. Your voice is powerful and you are communicating your adventure to the world and clearly a lot of people think it is interesting given how many subs you have. Despite the anxieties and difficulties you continue onwards and I respect that a lot. Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
A suggestion.... Pick up a part time job someplace, dollar stores are ALWAYS hiring. 10-20 hours per week. You would meet new people and learn some new skills. Also it would help improve your self image and help build your confidence. :)
I'm in my 20s and I feel like a loser and I stress about everything, literally everything makes me feel stressful. I feel that "stuck in my room" feeling. I feel like I've sat in my room for over 20 years and the whole life has passed before me even though that's not completely true. I am in university, but I don't attend lectures. I read books and do the exams. I have exactly the same feelings as you. I've lost so many opportunities and events because I am scared and I prefer sitting in my room. Take small steps, take a walk, read a book, start lifting weights in your room (I did this for years before I could go to gym) But you're not a loser. You will get better at driving, don't worry about that. You're not your thoughts. Greetings from Finland and merry christmas. Being employed or not does not define you, I feel like even I wouldn't be able to drive in LA because I've seen photos of your insane traffics. Stop comparing yourself to other people! I prefer this video over those fake and heavily edited videos. You have over 20K subs, imagine! Not many can achieve that. You're not alone with this, I share exactly the same thoughts, but it's just our brains messing with us.
Same 😮. stuck in my room . tho I'm only 16. I prefer sitting at home. I am underconfident & feel like looser and i have poor communication and socializing skills . When I talk with my friends I run out of topics to talk about 🥲 and they get bored of me(Even I would be bored with myself). I ve pressure from everyone to do well in my studies. but I m just average...😞 Btw merry Christmas :) from India
my nephew has bad anxiety and depression and is only 20. I really feel bad for him, as I love him like a son. When I was his age I was having the time of life and wish he could have the same experience I did. I have no idea how to help him. I hope both you and my nephew can find a way to move forward. I feel for you.
@@mynameismin3 this is incredibly heartbreaking 💔 Im very sorry to hear. I was just telling my fiance in the car last night that my anxiety makes me feel like I have a disability. Every small task and moment of life is way more difficult than it needs to be. I think it’s really special that you love and care for your nephew so much. And especially that you’re understanding of his anxiety/depression. It’s painful and more of a struggle when people don’t understand or treat us poorly over it
I can relate quite a bit! At 25 I am still learning to drive. I don’t have a job and I’ve never had one besides a temporary housekeeper gig years ago. I need to be getting a job this upcoming year but I know it’s going to be a huge step and anxiety inducing so part of me is still in denial. I let social anxiety rule me and keep me from living life. Due to other circumstances I finally started therapy this past summer after years of needing to go but putting it off so I totally get it being a scary step. I hope you will be able to try it out though and that it can maybe help you if you do. I wish you the best with it! And thanks for sharing these videos, it’s always nice to find others who are relatable and it inspires me to share my journey of life more too.
It's good you're getting all these feelings out in the open. It feels liberating but it all should be momentum to step forward in the right direction. If not eventually one year becomes two years becomes seven years and you wake up in your late thirties in the same spot
"This one's for the lonely The ones that seek and find Only to be let down Time after time, This one's for the torn down The experts at the fall C'mon friends get up now You're not alone at all"
Hey I've had depression so bad in the past that I couldn't drive (even though I had driven for 10+ years before that). Couldn't talk to anyone, couldn't watch movies or videos, couldn't do anything. I wouldn't get sad and cry, unless I tried reaching out for help, then I would lock myself somewhere and cry and would proceed to not ask for help. My road to recovery has been long but I'm not nearly as depressed, and never for an entire day. I think the answer is to find more hobbies that involve new environments. I couldn't recommend board gaming more, there are board game shops, bars, meetup groups online, etc. and there really are board games for everyone now, bunch of different genres, and it's not that hard to find what you like. Other than board gaming, going on walks can really help with depression. And you can transition that to going on hikes, which is beyond great for most people, myself included. Going to the gym to workout, also amazing, I didn't start until 7 months ago and now I will almost certainly go to the gym every month for the rest of my life. Once you get past the first couple of mental blockades, it just becomes a part of who you are. And this mentality can start bleeding into other things.
Teraphy can help a lot. It''s useful to know, btw, that there are different psichologists out there: Some are bad, don't really care and are not so helpful; others see you as a montly juicy income therefore their help can be intentionally not very effective; and there are others that can be actually good, are competent, care for you and actually help more effectively... So if you want to try, maybe don't stick with the first one or give up on therapy because so fast...but keep trying and searching for better help.
I'm 41 and i quit my job as a bouncer at the bars in Downtown Memphis so I'm basically doing Uber and Lyft to keep my business flowing. Enjoy your life while you're in the 20s.
i always bro out with the bouncers, i respect tf out of them because i know i dont have to worry about any haters or ppl who dont belong in the bar like the thug waving a pistol around the bar as the staff cowers, or some bum wanders in trying to steal from the tip jar, or trying to steal a phone or a debit card, i always keep my hand on debit card while waiting for the bartender to take it- i watch dudes go take a piss while leaving their phone on the bar and just SMH- it really agitates me because if someone steals their phone and runs out im probably the one they will blame
M, you know who I am. I've been unemployed since late 2013. I wouldn't sweat the two months off work. Would learning a new skill while at home be something you'd find interesting and fulfilling? If I had your health, I'd be doing something like sewing or making useful things. Regarding the driving, for some people its a significant hurdle. You're not a loser because of that. Many people get by with public transport.
I'm gonna be very straight with you. You express straight symptoms of chronic anxiety. Your monologue is very similar to someone sitting in the counsellor's room and talk about their problems with unemployment, driving fears, feelings of inadequacy, and high level of confusion. I've been there many, many times. Personally I have GAD and used to be depressed for decades, but I also have ADD, and by watching you talk, you seem pretty fluent, so you probably don't have that. I think your condition explains everything, but to break it down, you lack direction in life and need to concentrate on your strengths and passions along with your emotions and feelings. You can also get help by medications like antidepressants or try counselling. But I think your immediate focus should be protein intake, vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and some sort of exercise regime. Choose the most easy way possible and try to get to it everyday, even if it's just one set of something (ideally push-ups). If you commit, you'll get results by time. First, every extra protein will cover more and more of any hormonal imbalance, which is the underlying cause of anxiety. And then, every exercise will stimulate improvement of physical tissue, giving you more energy and confidence. You keep pilling up those and you won't recognise yourself within a year.
I think we’ve all kind of felt like you in some way in our own life. I think you’re taking steps towards being a better you by practicing driving and ultimately conquering your fears. I hear your theme that keeps coming up which is you wish you were normal and truthfully you are normal, you’re a person with the same fears and anxieties as the rest of us. I remember when I was 16 learning to drive and it was so terrifying and I felt bad at it, but I would sing to myself to help console my anxiety, then I got my motorcycle license, and now I have my class A CDL license and drive a giant truck around at work and I used to never believe that was even possible. The more you conquer your fears the more your internal dialogue changes from “I’m a loser” to “I can’t believe I just did that” and you push the envelope of what you feel like you’re truly capable of doing.
Buy You making this video Your dealing and doing away with Your depression 🙌💯 I've been depressed a long long time and had some anxiety...but I've wandered In the past or thought too much about the future long enough and I got fed Up so I snapped to the Present... Just continue being positive and You'll see things will light Up because Now Your heart's light is shining brighter .Amen
As a long-time driver, I stopped driving during unemployment obviously because of the costs, but also I didn't need to go anywhere and had a grocery store a walk away- when I got back into the car I was absolutely terrified, about who I was going to meet (bump into ha haa) on the roads, if I could cross a busy intersection without hesitation and fast enough for the cars behind, whether I could still park it or drive it properly etc etc... This happens every time I rest the car, but now I know that once I have been out in it for a while those anxieties fade away.
You’re not like the rest of us here anymore. You’ve travelled and have a boyfriend. You’re not a loser. Being afraid of driving is pretty natural. If you lived in other parts of the world, driving would not even be a requirement. It’s not your fault the US is so big and requires driving for most things. Did you work at a chain restaurant?
You are not a loser. You are absolutely normal girl. You just have anxiety. That's why things seem to be difficult for you. You need to solve the problem with anxity and your life will be much more easy. You are absolutely NORMAL! Don't say bad things about yourself and don't attract negativity to yourself! You are young beautiful and unique! Don't be scared of anything. You 'll be fine!
Loser or winner does not exist, they are just concepts that we put in our heads. We simply live life, with our way of being. Do you want to be a normal TH-camr? For what? they are millions, not be just another sheep. So stop tormenting yourself with stupid concepts. Try not to be so pessimistic, because it can cause depression, which would then be difficult to get out of. Try to be more in contact with nature, and little by little get out of your comfort zone.
I hope your seeing a good therapist to work through your anxiety. Don't feel bad about seeing a therapist. One of the problems with America metal illness has been shamed I think this country would do lot better if more people had free access to a therapist.
Things I've learned a long the way. Your worth should never and isn't based off your job/career/work unless you're helping others and giving back. 2. You have to talk to yourself with love and be kind to your mind. Don't call yourself a loser, you're not. I'm isolating for my own reasons, it can be a good thing, when you grow and are ready to flourish, get out and shine. Start over somewhere new if you need to.
I am the same exact age as you, and am ALSO unemployed due to my field (IT) being over-saturated and nearly impossible to land a job without friend connections. If you're a loser, so am I. I'm stuck in my room as well, so I understand the feeling. And by god, I wonder how many other lost souls are also stuck in their rooms just like we are... it's scary to think about how fucked up things are for people our age, but just know there's always light at the end of the tunnel - you and I are going to be fine, in the end. You already found a guy, not so great for me - but I hope for the best.
I know many people that don't drive even if they have a driver's license. Why should you drive if you don't need to? If you want to drive then just fix it before you hit 30. Make that a goal if that is important to you. Focus and do.
You are not a loser, it takes a lot to openly talk about things you’re unsatisfied about yourself. I have social anxiety and depression too, therapy has helped a lot and you would be better at it than me because you have practiced talking about your life on TH-cam. Also, you will get good at driving, it was terrifying for me too at the beginning, but the more you do it the more confident you will become and the easier it will be. I like to drive because I don’t have to talk to the other drivers, the car is like a safe space, like my room but it moves around
I just came from your video uploaded on December 12, 2023, and this is quite a twist. I'm in a similar boat as you (three months unemployed, 27 years old, feeling like a failure in life). Keep being you, and being honest and straightforward. Your self-confidence will come eventually. I hope you have a good year in 2025, and hope we both get hired at a new job VERY SOON!! At least set a daily goal of applying to five jobs a day, and then it'll probably end up making you not feel so bad about it. - Brian By the way, don't push too hard on the gas pedal while driving. You'll also want to press down SLOWLY on the brake pedal when you're approaching either STOP signs or traffic lights at an intersection. Driving itself is easy, but it's the other people on the road you've got to watch out for.
Hey, I'm a much older guy who has dealt with depression, CPTSD and anxiety since I was a teen. I was miserable through my twenties. I finally worked up the nerve to go to therapy when I turned thirty. It really did help. I learned some ways to get out of my own head and stop being so self-critical. If you can do it, I'd urge you to try it. Think about it this way...look where you are now. If you have a chance at making your life even incrementally better, isn't it worth a shot? Life can be brighter. Wishing you the best.
you can create your own project, "how to passed from Loser to Winer in 1-2 years" to you can be inspiration for people that feels like you, even you can finished the project by selling a book, and STOP calling you Loser, you become what you think.
I got my license at the age of 34 just a few years ago. I'm like you with the anxiety issues. The process of learning how to drive was awful. And I'm here to tell you a few years into driving -- it sucks. I genuinely hate driving and avoid it as often as I can. But if anything, I'm proud of myself for having overcome my fear of learning how to do it and achieving the goal of obtaining a license. And it's something that could be useful for me to know how to do if ever the situation calls for it. But I can't lie and say that it doesn't suck.
Contemplation is so often the antithesis of actual reality, and I contemplated myself to anxiety and beyond. And, as an older individual that now has the benefit of reflection, all that energy was wasted, the what if's, the plan on how to react and mitigate an anticipated event, the alteration of my environment and/or hours I worked, all for nothing. The years I contemplated and nothing ever eventuated or turned out as I anticipated. So difficult and challenging then, wistful and philosophical now. And no way you're a loser, it's just life happening, always change, convoluted highs and lows that at times seem inexorable. A cliche' maybe but take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.
I hope you can stop being so hard on yourself. Having a positive attitude helps so much in life. And BTW good work getting a fiancee. You're already winning!
I am 26 and nervous to drive to i dont have my license i dont know how other people do it either 😮 as for anxiety maybe going to or joining in person support groups / or counseling . See a good phychiatrist to help with meds. Keep trying till you find a great fit. you're not a loser because the expectations are made for us by society but sometimes we dont fit the norm but that doesnt mean something is wrong with you. Even if you dont meet your own expectations try not to be too tough on yourself because life is really complex and often difficult .
Jesus is my driver, I actually ride a moped in traffic every day for the past 15 years and I'm fine, just be careful and learn how to do things better. I'm still figuring stuff out too, I'm 34.
Hi, I don't know if you read your comments but I wanted to say something. When I was young, I believed I should automatically be good at everything. However, I wasn't and was bad at everything I first tried. It took me a while to realize this is completely normal. You have to learn how to drive, how to do tasks at a job, how to chat to people you don't really know, etc. etc. The way out is to just accept you may fumble at things initially, but you need to take those steps and keep going forward. It's a cliche but true - "practice makes perfect." Just keep practicing and you will get better each time you do it. You may be a perfectionist that wants to automatically be a pro at everything right off the bat, but it's not real life. You may have to force yourself to go through the steps but each time you do, you will be better and it will be easier. I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
I like what you are saying. I understand, totally 100%. I always wanted to stay in my comfort zone and not do anything. But I'm glad that I didn't do that and forced myself to do things, it has made my life full. Sometimes when I spoke in front of a large group, I would be beside myself, but I did it and it turned out to be pretty good. You don't know what's inside you untill you are challenged, and then your lion comes out. Anyways ways you will find your way!! Please get up tomorrow and put a smile on your face!
I'm hearing you miss. My 17yo son is showing signs of the same. It's kept him from finishing school so we're trying a different way for him to finish. All I can say is, just keep trying. One day you might have that breakthrough of courage that changes your life. Just keep fighting! 👍💪
People that are highly in tune also know as sensitive struggle with anxiety because all the feelings and such come in so fast. I recommend talking to a psychiatrist or doctor who can help you slow it down so you can do what you wanna do in life
i hate talking to head shrinks but i guess it works for some people to talk about themselves, my family pushed me to see them but my family is a bunch of normies who medicate their own children instead of try to realte to them. im like ok your feeding my nephew BS pharmacuticals now because he got a C- in math or whatever.. fkn normies these days- the 13 year old boy is super mechanically adept and precise in hands on skills but they want to mold him into some kind of office cubical clown so he can "make a lot of money like us" so they decided that he needs 5 different medications because he is not like them- they dont want him to be around me to much or he might become "just a dirty old welder", their boy has the skills to become a tig welder but that is not what they have planned for him
You can drive just practice ! In general Don’t overthink things it’s always worse in your head but once you start you realize it’s not as bad as you’ve made it out to be, trust me
Only you can change the stance if your life . Get ahold of yourself. U will get where u need to be as long as you work hard at it and don't stay lazy .
I didn't drive until I was 29 because I was genuinely terrified that I was going to get myself or someone else killed. I've been driving for about 4 years now, and no one has died or even been injured. And driving really changed my life completely. The thing is, you have a lot to be anxious about when you're driving and I think that it was never helpful to me whenever people pretended like it's not scary or dangerous. It is. But you are capable of doing it, and I think that it would give you so much more agency and control in your life, cuz I know it did for me. I wish you the best and I don't think you should call yourself a loser because I think that that negative self-talk kind of lets us get away with being less than we can be, which isn't fair to the people who care about us.. at least that's how I felt in my life.
i always appreciate your honesty. i remember watching your video 8 months ago called "My Life As A Loser Virgin", and look at you now! You're talking about a fiancé, you've moved across the country, you've made so much progress already, even if this video's just focusing on the things that haven't changed or that have changed for the worse. Anxiety will always tell you that you're not doing enough, that you can't do it, but I hope your diligence recording these videos and the audience you've amassed (which does pale in comparison to the huge numbers some others have, but that also makes numbers like mine seem absolutely ridiculous) help remind you (as i'm doing now) that you really are much more capable than what you at your worst moments think you are I relate to the "not being able to tell people about my channel", i've spent SO many hours in this youtube channel and i like it how it is, i like having my space to vent, etc, but it is embarassing, and not something i like to tell others about. My parents asked the other day, for example, and i felt so embarassed and i just showed them a super old video from when i was doing very different stuff. I don't really have any solutions. I think it just is what it is. I do long for not living a "double life" and for being able to "show up fully" into the world, if that's even a thing people do, but for the moment, this works for me. I think 2 months is very little time and that you could have more grace and patience with yourself. I spent like, 2 years unemployed, and only this september things started moving in a different direction. Some ideas that come to mind, maybe taking advantage of the online part of processes, using tools like chatgpt to get over "anxiety mindset" for sending resumes or looking for job postings, and having something "objective" and external to your anxious mind that narrows down the options and lets you focus on more concrete steps in the job search process. You have a fiancé so you probably talk about this stuff with him too but during the times he's not there, it can be a helpful tool even if it's not someone real. I think you're eloquent so you can probably express your worries and anxieties in text in these tools and they tend to work better when they have more to work with. i wish you luck, and i've no doubts about your process. enjoy christmas with your fiancé, and have a great start of the year
Hi, you are not a loser. You are a product of your environment and life experiences. Please be strong and brave and focused, make that first therapy session, do it.
"Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don't shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say." All of the things that you're vocalizing are signs that you're recognizing the symptom. It's time to find the cause. If you read this comment please look up the channels: Geeky Stoics, After Skool, and Academy of Ideas.
You're not a loser at all! Many people, especially nowadays suffer from anxiety and depression! Disconnect from social media and television for a while! Work on you, without the distractions! Figure out what you want to do and do your best to make a plan A & B! I think you have maybe a low self esteem! But you are pretty and seem very bright! Give yourself a break!👍🏻🙂☺️
its been scary af this last couple weeks during the holidays, if i ddnt have the driving exeperience i have i would not have survived the massive amount of road ragers, the police n my town have abandoned their posts of traffic control for the last 10 years and driving on freeway is mad max thunder road every day- i came in shooken up on december 23'rd from all the rage, my coworker said a driver got shot nearby and bled out on the roadside- i was like i bet they were raging against someone with a gun, dudes in teslas are using high beams to deny others the right away in a traffic intersection- karen is honking aggresively every 5 seconds in a traffic jam, chad is 6 inches from your back bumper while swerving back and forth at 80 miles per hour in heavy traffic- we are experiencing a pre armagedon
Considering we are living in the transition to idiocracy getting back out there is rough...btw it takes a lot of courage just to put this out there so good on you! What you are talking about is not adhering to societal norms so yes it will be uncomfortable...
You are not stupid, you are just anxious. It's not about you, it's about people from your close circle. I suffered extreme anxiousness and i also felt stupid, worthless, self centered, immature, not enough and the whole dark circle ⭕ 🔴 ⭕ They gave be the hardest anti anxiety anti depressants and I have made a huge improvement using those. When I decided enough is enough - i stayed not-anxious.
My 30 year old daughter is having the same issues. She can't tolerate other people and can't keep a job. Anxiety is ruining her life. I've had Anxiety since i was a teen. I've lived a normal life, raised 4 kids and retired. You can too but you have to want it. Everything you say is negative about yourself. If you can't stop thinking this way and thinking about yourself, you won't improve. Therapy is bullshit. Most people just enjoy feeling bad, it becomes an addiction. Creating a good life, getting in good physical shape and getting off social media is way more enjoyable.
clearly your daughter has worse anxiety than you. My heart goes out to her. It gets to a point of feeling disabled. I’ll let u know how therapy goes. If I find healing from it, I’ll let you know and you should encourage your daughter
@iexist7408 I once missed 4 months of work because of it. I was the breadwinner for 6 people. I had to step up, and conquer it. I kept it secret for almost 30 years. Now I speak openly about it because it helps. Exercise is great because mind and body are one.
I can't drive either, and I'm noticing several people in the comments who also can't drive and are going through similar struggles. What is this throughline we all share, where not knowing how to drive correlates with all these other bad traits? Why do we all not know how to drive?
@@iexist7408 They dont at all. There are millions of people who can drive. Do they all have superpowers? I dont think so. I have crippling social anxiety too. and I am going through everything you are going through. I can drive but I feel like I am a fool because I cant socialize and make friends.
@@iexist7408 I promise it becomes easier to drive. Everyone has anxiety when learning. However, it's like riding a bike and once you get through the initial anxiety, the vehicle just becomes another extension of you and you don't think about it at all. It's just that usually when people learn to ride bikes they're children and far less risk averse than we are when learning to drive.
My cure to anxiety was to leave the house and start studying. Getting youself busy makes you kind of forget many of the anxceties one after another when you are forced to casually face them. If I think back, my anxieties started to appear beacause I was at home doing nothing, so its not good for you, and you just need to find a way out of it. Merry christmas!
You are not a loser, and you are so brave to do this!😊❤ I'm soon to be 47, and I have suffered from generalized anxiety and depression most of my life. I remember my first panic attack at the age of 10. I am currently unemployed and I have hated driving my whole life. I've hardly driven over the last 3+ years. But, I've done much better with my anxiety and depression over that same time span. I credit it to therapy and medication. Know that you are not alone!🤗
Affluenza, from unearned and unreciprocated help/benefits/protections. It has its upside, yet also distinct downsides. Key upside: a license for self-indulgence. Key downside: the myriad inevitable consequences of that self-indulgence.
I suffer form anxiety and depression and it has been up and down through out my life. The fact that you've held a job for 9 years says something about you. I can barley hold a job for a year at times. The most I've worked at a job was a 3 years and it wasn't even full time. Your dialogue sounds really similar to mine. I Really don't think a job will change your life maybe temporarily but it wont last forever. I've had pretty good jobs making decent money, but even in the end i still had anxiety and was still depressed at times. So really something hast to change internally if you really want to be happy in life. I just don't know when that will be for me.
Every human has a right to exist. Nobody is a loser. It's the system in which we live in or feed that makes people feel inadequate or plague with flaws. If more people would collaborate instead of compete, then a lot of things in our cultures and world can improve.
You have the Audience Gal, thats not your problem. My issue is why do you have these Simps on your channel when you KNOW !!! They would never help a guy like this
just a matter of finding what oneself enjoys and making it a permanent job, cooking? chef, matematics? engineer, research? scientific, one important thing to remember: never's too late for learning new things
I think a lot of us can relate, the issue I have is that nothing is fulfilling, I work, went to university, but everyday is a repeat of the last and behind closed doors I’m miserable 😑
I'm 25 and I go threw the same thing tbh and especially the mentally screaming at yourself feeling like a loser.... even tho I have a job it never does feel like ur doing enough honestly.
Lady, you just moved across the entire country to move in with your fiancé whom you've only recently started seeing. Before you keep crapping on yourself, take like 5 minutes to enjoy those MAJOR victories. Now, wanting to push yourself to accomplish more is a good sign. So enjoy that one for another minute or so. Then, go to a friend that lives in your new area, or use Reddit or your channel here to try to crowd source recommendations for a therapist near your area (make sure you never divulge to actual location where you live to online weirdos). That's generally easier than trying to find a random one online. Realize you don't have to rush that, and that you should take your time trying to find a therapist that you like. In the meantime, make a doctor's appointment if you can and ask for a Xanax prescription. No therapist required. This isn't something you take all the time, but only when you need to make sure you have zero anxiety. So pop one before you try driving (until you get the hang of it, and make sure Xanax doesn't make you sleepy before trying to drive on it) or before you go in for a job interview. Then, try roleplaying. You'd be amazed how effect roleplaying is for people, especially for people on the autism spectrum. Ask your fiancé if he could help by pretending to be the job interviewer. And, when you feel ready, see if he can roleplay being someone you just got into a car accident with, so that you can practice trading insurance information or calling 911 if you have to. Also, driving sucks, and it's not for everyone. Using a bicycle to get to a bus might be a better option for some. Lastly, try going on walks. Again, your fiancé may be very handy with this. Even if it's 30 minutes or even just 5 minutes, it can be very helpful. Physically and psychologically. As for enjoying the content you make on your channel here, again, that's a good thing. And it's appreciated by all of us, so thanks. Second, not wanting to share that with people in meat space is totally fine. If you want to tell them that you do something without opening the door for them to ask about your channel, just say you do video editing. You're doing great, and it's good to see you taking charge. Just remember, you don't have to be hard on yourself to take charge.
As within so without, as above so below, what you attract and say about yourself is what you will become, attract positive energy and positive energy will come to you, attract negative energy or thoughts, negative thoughts will come to you, the more you compare yourself the more you destroy yourself, think positive and positive will follow you, As within so without, meditate and go deep within and explore that area that needs work don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to become better.
wow look how far yo have come!!!! So how are we going to over come your anxiety(Anxiety is an emotion that can feel like fear, tension, or worry, and can be a response to real or perceived threats. It can also be a symptom of an anxiety disorder, which is a mental health condition that causes persistent and excessive anxiety that can interfere with daily life.) Go North (800mi.) when no ones looking step over the fence ,,, small steps (if you figure it out tell me so i can try) what kinda jobs are in your area ? (park attendant at Disney Land ) have you seen a mountain lion yet? its because your to far south !!!!! Ill teach you how to drive and give you a job !!! sorting lumber
Imagine a man with a fiance/girlfriend talking about the same/similar things (playing video games, no job, etc). The responses would be completely different.
True, its a greats bias that exists and say that as a scholar.
Agree 👍 with you about that. Also if she was not pretty and overweight she would not be getting many views.
I agree with that 👍
I could just imagine the names the guy would be called if he had the same problems.
Hahahaha, so me.
Except I don't play video games.
Yes, you're right. The amount of hatred I have received for being unemployed is staggering.
It's outrageous. It's not like we collect much in benefits anyway - far from enough to live on in a first-world country.
Nah your a winner, dont be so hard on yourself. I am 38 years old, still a virgin, cant drive, unattractive, have no friends, bad teeth and live with my parents, i am the poster child of being a loser but for me, i dont care, because i have a nice job helping animals and kind parents which keep me going, look for the positives in your life and take heart from that, all you need is to believe in yourself because you have courage and heart which will take you far, good luck maam, you are no loser.
She will not comfort you (unless you are all and handsome). Stop kissing ass.
@deadsoulrob Good for you, for helping animals. You’re certainly not a loser to them!
Believing in Jesus is important, I understand what you mean by believing in yourself but I know He's more important than me by a long shot, I'm a jerk off.
Being what you consider yourself is less than human, I believe you should seek emotional help immediately. 🤓
That's awesome my last dog was a rescue dog and I had him for over 9 years. Keep trying keep plugging away and keep trying in life seriously I was addicted to heroin for 20 years and I've been off for 2 years and I'm still not to a place where I can work yet. I can tell you from somebody that was fortunate enough to do a lot of dating and have a lot of relationships with women before I got an heroin at 24 years old and no offense but to any women reading but mainly a lot of times after 18-20 they're only attracted to you for what they see in you money wise or where they think you're going. All my relationships before 20 were innocent and pure and had nothing to do with money those were the greatest times of my life because it was very much innocent it was great relationships had a lot of great times and had nothing to do with money. So a's an older person you're really not missing out a lot on women that much especially if you can't provide money for them that's something I know now also and realize and that I just have to be comfortable with being alone long term. and especially getting off drugs which was easy to be around women and drugs because the drugs break that barrier but now I'm clean and I'm attracted to normal women and they have no attraction to me at all and I don't blame them because I'm not making any money right now. Does it matter how good of a guy I am doesn't matter I've gone to 5 years of therapy doesn't matter I've overcome my addiction none of those things matter doesn't matter if I'm nice doesn't matter in those things I don't have my own house I'm not working full-time right now and so I am looked at like I am nothing.
Please Get out of of loser mentality, a year ago "loser virgin", now "loser maried unemployed women", may be next year "loser mother"...? Please get out of this mindset, celebrate your achievements ❤
I think 🤔 you are right about this.
in 40 years "I'm a loser grandmother" in 60 years "I'm a loser great grandmother"😂🤣😂🤣😂
She's acting
She's not married
She doesn't WANT to work.
I'm about to turn 44 next month, I got my license 2 years ago. Anxiety and shame was a tough wall to break through but it's possible
Good for you though, better late than never. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for taking that brave leap.
You need cognitive behavioral therapy because your mind is stuck in the anxiety loop, like a broken record. It will help you to not make such a big deal out of your anxiety. Stop fighting with your anxiety but accept it, invite it into your life, and make it your friend.
I use my anxiety as a fuel to move forward
@@soundandvision5382 Incorrect. You use it in an attempt to crush those you perceive as weaker or less than you are. This makes you bottom tier; beyond weak. Beyond slimy. You are scourge.
That's what I suggested on a previous video. CBT or DBT. I think either one would be great for her.
Anxiety is not your friend, Jesus is.
@@damonhtoo I don't know why her video popped on my YT feed, but I decided to give it a look in addition to some of her other videos. This poor girl was obviously subjected to verbal abuse tactics by a controlling mother. She has an anxious disposition by nature which is exacerbated by a controlling parent. She's in a state of arrested emotional development, hence her constant quest for a safety zone that won't elicit feelings of anxiety. She needs coping skills. Things will work out for her just fine...in time.
I really resonated with this video! I've dealt with similar issues in the past. I HATED driving (I eventually learned but god I hated learning, I thought I was never going to learn). Don't be too hard on yourself and don't compare yourself to other people!
1) Unplug from your dopamine injector (cell phone). 2) Stay unplugged for 48 hours. 3) Spend more time in nature. 4) Practice breathing, deeply. It will stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system and help you reduce anxiety. To Hell with the internet.
anxiety pills work for much more poeple than meditation
to change your breathing habits in stressful situations can take decades, since it is subconsious. medication takes between a few hours and a few months to work properly
Wise words many people could benefit from but they can't put their phones down
Yeah. To hell with the internet.
@rubenkeller5543 what medication, are you talking about anxiety meds.
You and Daniel (hidding in my room) are like modern day philosophers. You are both very smart and funny. You over think everything and are very hard on yourselves. Stop putting pressure on yourselves. Accept who you are and keep doing what you have been doing which is LIVING. Doing the best you can with what you have.
I love Daniel he’s my favorite. But yes, you’re right
Your other content visiting places just hasnt hit the right audience yet. In time you will see how much you have grown since your video over a year ago. Congratulations. You have a conscious and your brain is telling you how much more you are capable of. The road for progress wont be linear, its not easy. Keep at it.
Uplug, like completely. walk out the door each morning and look for somebody to walk up to and seek to make their day, with a positive word. That positive word will bounce back to you, double. baby steps. -C
you will never get anywhere if you think of yourself as a loser. It all begins in the mind. If you would change your life, the place to start is by changing how you think. You are a human being. That is your primary identity, not loser.
You're not really a loser, you're just the queen of self deprication.😀😉
deprecation ( with an e )
Moving across the country, making your own TH-cam videos, getting engaged and moving in with your fiance. You were a waitress for a while and you are putting in the effort to learn how to drive despite the difficulty of it. Those are all things you should be proud of. Also you are introspective and trying to understand yourself, a lot of people go their whole lives without doing that. I admire your honesty and vulnerability and even though you are a stranger I think I could learn from you too. Your voice is powerful and you are communicating your adventure to the world and clearly a lot of people think it is interesting given how many subs you have. Despite the anxieties and difficulties you continue onwards and I respect that a lot. Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
A suggestion.... Pick up a part time job someplace, dollar stores are ALWAYS hiring. 10-20 hours per week. You would meet new people and learn some new skills. Also it would help improve your self image and help build your confidence. :)
I'm in my 20s and I feel like a loser and I stress about everything, literally everything makes me feel stressful. I feel that "stuck in my room" feeling. I feel like I've sat in my room for over 20 years and the whole life has passed before me even though that's not completely true. I am in university, but I don't attend lectures. I read books and do the exams. I have exactly the same feelings as you. I've lost so many opportunities and events because I am scared and I prefer sitting in my room. Take small steps, take a walk, read a book, start lifting weights in your room (I did this for years before I could go to gym) But you're not a loser. You will get better at driving, don't worry about that. You're not your thoughts. Greetings from Finland and merry christmas. Being employed or not does not define you, I feel like even I wouldn't be able to drive in LA because I've seen photos of your insane traffics. Stop comparing yourself to other people! I prefer this video over those fake and heavily edited videos. You have over 20K subs, imagine! Not many can achieve that. You're not alone with this, I share exactly the same thoughts, but it's just our brains messing with us.
Same 😮. stuck in my room . tho I'm only 16. I prefer sitting at home. I am underconfident & feel like looser and i have poor communication and socializing skills .
When I talk with my friends I run out of topics to talk about 🥲 and they get bored of me(Even I would be bored with myself).
I ve pressure from everyone to do well in my studies. but I m just average...😞
Btw merry Christmas :) from India
@@cosettelitvikwe are all fantastic, we all just don't know it yet, praise Jesus!
my nephew has bad anxiety and depression and is only 20. I really feel bad for him, as I love him like a son. When I was his age I was having the time of life and wish he could have the same experience I did. I have no idea how to help him. I hope both you and my nephew can find a way to move forward. I feel for you.
@@mynameismin3 this is incredibly heartbreaking 💔 Im very sorry to hear. I was just telling my fiance in the car last night that my anxiety makes me feel like I have a disability. Every small task and moment of life is way more difficult than it needs to be.
I think it’s really special that you love and care for your nephew so much. And especially that you’re understanding of his anxiety/depression. It’s painful and more of a struggle when people don’t understand or treat us poorly over it
Its so painful when someone treats u like you weird.. im like im struggling enough, i dont need that
I can relate quite a bit! At 25 I am still learning to drive. I don’t have a job and I’ve never had one besides a temporary housekeeper gig years ago. I need to be getting a job this upcoming year but I know it’s going to be a huge step and anxiety inducing so part of me is still in denial. I let social anxiety rule me and keep me from living life. Due to other circumstances I finally started therapy this past summer after years of needing to go but putting it off so I totally get it being a scary step. I hope you will be able to try it out though and that it can maybe help you if you do. I wish you the best with it!
And thanks for sharing these videos, it’s always nice to find others who are relatable and it inspires me to share my journey of life more too.
You have this channel and you're doing what you can despite your problems. Sounds like a winner to me!
It's good you're getting all these feelings out in the open. It feels liberating but it all should be momentum to step forward in the right direction. If not eventually one year becomes two years becomes seven years and you wake up in your late thirties in the same spot
Born and raised in SoCal. If you’re not an experienced driver, LA IS THE WORST PLACE to gauge your driving skills.
*TRY EXERCISE. It does MIRACLES.*
i agree here. excercise is key.
"This one's for the lonely
The ones that seek and find
Only to be let down
Time after time,
This one's for the torn down
The experts at the fall
C'mon friends get up now
You're not alone at all"
Hey I've had depression so bad in the past that I couldn't drive (even though I had driven for 10+ years before that). Couldn't talk to anyone, couldn't watch movies or videos, couldn't do anything. I wouldn't get sad and cry, unless I tried reaching out for help, then I would lock myself somewhere and cry and would proceed to not ask for help.
My road to recovery has been long but I'm not nearly as depressed, and never for an entire day. I think the answer is to find more hobbies that involve new environments. I couldn't recommend board gaming more, there are board game shops, bars, meetup groups online, etc. and there really are board games for everyone now, bunch of different genres, and it's not that hard to find what you like.
Other than board gaming, going on walks can really help with depression. And you can transition that to going on hikes, which is beyond great for most people, myself included. Going to the gym to workout, also amazing, I didn't start until 7 months ago and now I will almost certainly go to the gym every month for the rest of my life. Once you get past the first couple of mental blockades, it just becomes a part of who you are. And this mentality can start bleeding into other things.
Teraphy can help a lot. It''s useful to know, btw, that there are different psichologists out there: Some are bad, don't really care and are not so helpful; others see you as a montly juicy income therefore their help can be intentionally not very effective; and there are others that can be actually good, are competent, care for you and actually help more effectively... So if you want to try, maybe don't stick with the first one or give up on therapy because so fast...but keep trying and searching for better help.
I'm 41 and i quit my job as a bouncer at the bars in Downtown Memphis so I'm basically doing Uber and Lyft to keep my business flowing. Enjoy your life while you're in the 20s.
i always bro out with the bouncers, i respect tf out of them because i know i dont have to worry about any haters or ppl who dont belong in the bar like the thug waving a pistol around the bar as the staff cowers, or some bum wanders in trying to steal from the tip jar, or trying to steal a phone or a debit card, i always keep my hand on debit card while waiting for the bartender to take it- i watch dudes go take a piss while leaving their phone on the bar and just SMH- it really agitates me because if someone steals their phone and runs out im probably the one they will blame
M, you know who I am. I've been unemployed since late 2013. I wouldn't sweat the two months off work.
Would learning a new skill while at home be something you'd find interesting and fulfilling? If I had your health, I'd be doing something like sewing or making useful things.
Regarding the driving, for some people its a significant hurdle. You're not a loser because of that. Many people get by with public transport.
I'm gonna be very straight with you. You express straight symptoms of chronic anxiety. Your monologue is very similar to someone sitting in the counsellor's room and talk about their problems with unemployment, driving fears, feelings of inadequacy, and high level of confusion. I've been there many, many times. Personally I have GAD and used to be depressed for decades, but I also have ADD, and by watching you talk, you seem pretty fluent, so you probably don't have that. I think your condition explains everything, but to break it down, you lack direction in life and need to concentrate on your strengths and passions along with your emotions and feelings. You can also get help by medications like antidepressants or try counselling. But I think your immediate focus should be protein intake, vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and some sort of exercise regime. Choose the most easy way possible and try to get to it everyday, even if it's just one set of something (ideally push-ups). If you commit, you'll get results by time. First, every extra protein will cover more and more of any hormonal imbalance, which is the underlying cause of anxiety. And then, every exercise will stimulate improvement of physical tissue, giving you more energy and confidence. You keep pilling up those and you won't recognise yourself within a year.
I think we’ve all kind of felt like you in some way in our own life. I think you’re taking steps towards being a better you by practicing driving and ultimately conquering your fears. I hear your theme that keeps coming up which is you wish you were normal and truthfully you are normal, you’re a person with the same fears and anxieties as the rest of us. I remember when I was 16 learning to drive and it was so terrifying and I felt bad at it, but I would sing to myself to help console my anxiety, then I got my motorcycle license, and now I have my class A CDL license and drive a giant truck around at work and I used to never believe that was even possible. The more you conquer your fears the more your internal dialogue changes from “I’m a loser” to “I can’t believe I just did that” and you push the envelope of what you feel like you’re truly capable of doing.
possitive attitude ! believe in yourself ! you can change and be better ! over come ! pick yourself up ! make a short list everyday !
Buy You making this video Your dealing and doing away with Your depression 🙌💯 I've been depressed a long long time and had some anxiety...but I've wandered In the past or thought too much about the future long enough and I got fed Up so I snapped to the Present... Just continue being positive and You'll see things will light Up because Now Your heart's light is shining brighter .Amen
You're definitely not a "Loser".
You are unique, and you have a very soothing voice. I enjoy listening to you ❤
My little cat called me a loser and we have been fighting eachother for dominance in the house ever since
Meowzer!! 😹🕺🏿
You called me what? No, NO. You're the P.. "AEEOW!" (Insert cat-ninja-move)
@@edwardsanchez3708 Catnip?
Thanks for making these. Heart warming to see a fellow human with human problems
As a long-time driver, I stopped driving during unemployment obviously because of the costs, but also I didn't need to go anywhere and had a grocery store a walk away- when I got back into the car I was absolutely terrified, about who I was going to meet (bump into ha haa) on the roads, if I could cross a busy intersection without hesitation and fast enough for the cars behind, whether I could still park it or drive it properly etc etc... This happens every time I rest the car, but now I know that once I have been out in it for a while those anxieties fade away.
You’re not like the rest of us here anymore. You’ve travelled and have a boyfriend. You’re not a loser. Being afraid of driving is pretty natural. If you lived in other parts of the world, driving would not even be a requirement. It’s not your fault the US is so big and requires driving for most things. Did you work at a chain restaurant?
I'm a 43 year old man who hasn't had sex since age 29, I'm not getting the nookie I'm entitled to, what am I going to do? Help me please
@@romans52345-cy3tq look up Bogotà district
You are not a loser. You are absolutely normal girl. You just have anxiety. That's why things seem to be difficult for you. You need to solve the problem with anxity and your life will be much more easy. You are absolutely NORMAL! Don't say bad things about yourself and don't attract negativity to yourself! You are young beautiful and unique! Don't be scared of anything. You 'll be fine!
Loser or winner does not exist, they are just concepts that we put in our heads.
We simply live life, with our way of being.
Do you want to be a normal TH-camr?
For what?
they are millions, not be just another sheep.
So stop tormenting yourself with stupid concepts.
Try not to be so pessimistic, because it can cause depression, which would then be difficult to get out of.
Try to be more in contact with nature, and little by little get out of your comfort zone.
I hope your seeing a good therapist to work through your anxiety. Don't feel bad about seeing a therapist. One of the problems with America metal illness has been shamed I think this country would do lot better if more people had free access to a therapist.
I had to comment again, after dealing with trauma, we can go into a fight or flight state, like a deer in headlights.. takes one to know one sis 🥹
She is a prefect example of how it is literally impossible to lose if you are a woman.
When TH-cam ratings aren't paying enough @ change professions🤷
You're not a loser life has set backs but it won't stop you ❤
Take magnesium supplements for anxiety.
only works if you have a magnesium deficite
@@rubenkeller5543 stress increase your need for it
B1, B12, D vitamin and drugs marijuana,mdma or healthy microdosing psylocibin
Things I've learned a long the way. Your worth should never and isn't based off your job/career/work unless you're helping others and giving back. 2. You have to talk to yourself with love and be kind to your mind. Don't call yourself a loser, you're not. I'm isolating for my own reasons, it can be a good thing, when you grow and are ready to flourish, get out and shine. Start over somewhere new if you need to.
Your value on this world should never be based on work.
I am the same exact age as you, and am ALSO unemployed due to my field (IT) being over-saturated and nearly impossible to land a job without friend connections. If you're a loser, so am I.
I'm stuck in my room as well, so I understand the feeling. And by god, I wonder how many other lost souls are also stuck in their rooms just like we are... it's scary to think about how fucked up things are for people our age, but just know there's always light at the end of the tunnel - you and I are going to be fine, in the end.
You already found a guy, not so great for me - but I hope for the best.
I know many people that don't drive even if they have a driver's license. Why should you drive if you don't need to? If you want to drive then just fix it before you hit 30. Make that a goal if that is important to you. Focus and do.
You are not a loser, it takes a lot to openly talk about things you’re unsatisfied about yourself. I have social anxiety and depression too, therapy has helped a lot and you would be better at it than me because you have practiced talking about your life on TH-cam. Also, you will get good at driving, it was terrifying for me too at the beginning, but the more you do it the more confident you will become and the easier it will be. I like to drive because I don’t have to talk to the other drivers, the car is like a safe space, like my room but it moves around
I just came from your video uploaded on December 12, 2023, and this is quite a twist. I'm in a similar boat as you (three months unemployed, 27 years old, feeling like a failure in life). Keep being you, and being honest and straightforward. Your self-confidence will come eventually. I hope you have a good year in 2025, and hope we both get hired at a new job VERY SOON!! At least set a daily goal of applying to five jobs a day, and then it'll probably end up making you not feel so bad about it. - Brian
By the way, don't push too hard on the gas pedal while driving. You'll also want to press down SLOWLY on the brake pedal when you're approaching either STOP signs or traffic lights at an intersection. Driving itself is easy, but it's the other people on the road you've got to watch out for.
Hey, I'm a much older guy who has dealt with depression, CPTSD and anxiety since I was a teen. I was miserable through my twenties. I finally worked up the nerve to go to therapy when I turned thirty. It really did help. I learned some ways to get out of my own head and stop being so self-critical. If you can do it, I'd urge you to try it. Think about it this way...look where you are now. If you have a chance at making your life even incrementally better, isn't it worth a shot? Life can be brighter. Wishing you the best.
Don't compare yourself. You're doing fine.
you can create your own project, "how to passed from Loser to Winer in 1-2 years" to you can be inspiration for people that feels like you, even you can finished the project by selling a book, and STOP calling you Loser, you become what you think.
I got my license at the age of 34 just a few years ago.
I'm like you with the anxiety issues. The process of learning how to drive was awful.
And I'm here to tell you a few years into driving -- it sucks.
I genuinely hate driving and avoid it as often as I can.
But if anything, I'm proud of myself for having overcome my fear of learning how to do it and achieving the goal of obtaining a license. And it's something that could be useful for me to know how to do if ever the situation calls for it.
But I can't lie and say that it doesn't suck.
Contemplation is so often the antithesis of actual reality, and I contemplated myself to anxiety and beyond. And, as an older individual that now has the benefit of reflection, all that energy was wasted, the what if's, the plan on how to react and mitigate an anticipated event, the alteration of my environment and/or hours I worked, all for nothing. The years I contemplated and nothing ever eventuated or turned out as I anticipated. So difficult and challenging then, wistful and philosophical now. And no way you're a loser, it's just life happening, always change, convoluted highs and lows that at times seem inexorable. A cliche' maybe but take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.
I hope you can stop being so hard on yourself. Having a positive attitude helps so much in life. And BTW good work getting a fiancee. You're already winning!
Anxiety medication saved my life! Literally!!!!!
I am 26 and nervous to drive to i dont have my license i dont know how other people do it either 😮 as for anxiety maybe going to or joining in person support groups / or counseling . See a good phychiatrist to help with meds. Keep trying till you find a great fit. you're not a loser because the expectations are made for us by society but sometimes we dont fit the norm but that doesnt mean something is wrong with you. Even if you dont meet your own expectations try not to be too tough on yourself because life is really complex and often difficult .
Jesus is my driver, I actually ride a moped in traffic every day for the past 15 years and I'm fine, just be careful and learn how to do things better. I'm still figuring stuff out too, I'm 34.
Hi, I don't know if you read your comments but I wanted to say something. When I was young, I believed I should automatically be good at everything. However, I wasn't and was bad at everything I first tried. It took me a while to realize this is completely normal. You have to learn how to drive, how to do tasks at a job, how to chat to people you don't really know, etc. etc. The way out is to just accept you may fumble at things initially, but you need to take those steps and keep going forward. It's a cliche but true - "practice makes perfect." Just keep practicing and you will get better each time you do it. You may be a perfectionist that wants to automatically be a pro at everything right off the bat, but it's not real life. You may have to force yourself to go through the steps but each time you do, you will be better and it will be easier. I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
I like what you are saying. I understand, totally 100%. I always wanted to stay in my comfort zone and not do anything. But I'm glad that I didn't do that and forced myself to do things, it has made my life full. Sometimes when I spoke in front of a large group, I would be beside myself, but I did it and it turned out to be pretty good. You don't know what's inside you untill you are challenged, and then your lion comes out. Anyways ways you will find your way!! Please get up tomorrow and put a smile on your face!
You're not a loser. You just have to do things that help you live better and help yourself.
I'm hearing you miss. My 17yo son is showing signs of the same. It's kept him from finishing school so we're trying a different way for him to finish.
All I can say is, just keep trying. One day you might have that breakthrough of courage that changes your life. Just keep fighting! 👍💪
People that are highly in tune also know as sensitive struggle with anxiety because all the feelings and such come in so fast. I recommend talking to a psychiatrist or doctor who can help you slow it down so you can do what you wanna do in life
i hate talking to head shrinks but i guess it works for some people to talk about themselves, my family pushed me to see them but my family is a bunch of normies who medicate their own children instead of try to realte to them. im like ok your feeding my nephew BS pharmacuticals now because he got a C- in math or whatever.. fkn normies these days- the 13 year old boy is super mechanically adept and precise in hands on skills but they want to mold him into some kind of office cubical clown so he can "make a lot of money like us" so they decided that he needs 5 different medications because he is not like them- they dont want him to be around me to much or he might become "just a dirty old welder", their boy has the skills to become a tig welder but that is not what they have planned for him
You are incredibly honest, and that is endearing
You can drive just practice ! In general Don’t overthink things it’s always worse in your head but once you start you realize it’s not as bad as you’ve made it out to be, trust me
Don`t yield to feelings. Take stock of yourself and step forward with determination. Success comes to those who keep trying.
Keep going,!! This is what you do, be thankful . .
you only loose if you give up
just keep trying, sometimes you have to loose before you can win - it's part of the process
That profile pic at the channel is beautiful. You lack action. You are fine. Not a loser, you just lost your way. Habits will save you.
Only you can change the stance if your life . Get ahold of yourself. U will get where u need to be as long as you work hard at it and don't stay lazy .
I am 52 honey, stop being hard on yourself.
I am the same way!
Merry Christmas be safe.
That makes you awesome in some world within another world. 💪😎Try dimensional travel...you will find a place.
I didn't drive until I was 29 because I was genuinely terrified that I was going to get myself or someone else killed. I've been driving for about 4 years now, and no one has died or even been injured. And driving really changed my life completely.
The thing is, you have a lot to be anxious about when you're driving and I think that it was never helpful to me whenever people pretended like it's not scary or dangerous. It is.
But you are capable of doing it, and I think that it would give you so much more agency and control in your life, cuz I know it did for me.
I wish you the best and I don't think you should call yourself a loser because I think that that negative self-talk kind of lets us get away with being less than we can be, which isn't fair to the people who care about us.. at least that's how I felt in my life.
i always appreciate your honesty. i remember watching your video 8 months ago called "My Life As A Loser Virgin", and look at you now! You're talking about a fiancé, you've moved across the country, you've made so much progress already, even if this video's just focusing on the things that haven't changed or that have changed for the worse.
Anxiety will always tell you that you're not doing enough, that you can't do it, but I hope your diligence recording these videos and the audience you've amassed (which does pale in comparison to the huge numbers some others have, but that also makes numbers like mine seem absolutely ridiculous) help remind you (as i'm doing now) that you really are much more capable than what you at your worst moments think you are
I relate to the "not being able to tell people about my channel", i've spent SO many hours in this youtube channel and i like it how it is, i like having my space to vent, etc, but it is embarassing, and not something i like to tell others about. My parents asked the other day, for example, and i felt so embarassed and i just showed them a super old video from when i was doing very different stuff. I don't really have any solutions. I think it just is what it is. I do long for not living a "double life" and for being able to "show up fully" into the world, if that's even a thing people do, but for the moment, this works for me.
I think 2 months is very little time and that you could have more grace and patience with yourself. I spent like, 2 years unemployed, and only this september things started moving in a different direction. Some ideas that come to mind, maybe taking advantage of the online part of processes, using tools like chatgpt to get over "anxiety mindset" for sending resumes or looking for job postings, and having something "objective" and external to your anxious mind that narrows down the options and lets you focus on more concrete steps in the job search process. You have a fiancé so you probably talk about this stuff with him too but during the times he's not there, it can be a helpful tool even if it's not someone real. I think you're eloquent so you can probably express your worries and anxieties in text in these tools and they tend to work better when they have more to work with.
i wish you luck, and i've no doubts about your process. enjoy christmas with your fiancé, and have a great start of the year
Wow you should write a book 📖
Hi, you are not a loser. You are a product of your environment and life experiences. Please be strong and brave and focused, make that first therapy session, do it.
"Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don't shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say." All of the things that you're vocalizing are signs that you're recognizing the symptom. It's time to find the cause.
If you read this comment please look up the channels: Geeky Stoics, After Skool, and Academy of Ideas.
Be kind to yourself. I had a hard time starting therapy too, but it helped eventually. You do need to find a good therapist though.
You're not a loser at all! Many people, especially nowadays suffer from anxiety and depression! Disconnect from social media and television for a while! Work on you, without the distractions! Figure out what you want to do and do your best to make a plan A & B! I think you have maybe a low self esteem! But you are pretty and seem very bright! Give yourself a break!👍🏻🙂☺️
Driving is scary but you get used to it.
its been scary af this last couple weeks during the holidays, if i ddnt have the driving exeperience i have i would not have survived the massive amount of road ragers, the police n my town have abandoned their posts of traffic control for the last 10 years and driving on freeway is mad max thunder road every day- i came in shooken up on december 23'rd from all the rage, my coworker said a driver got shot nearby and bled out on the roadside- i was like i bet they were raging against someone with a gun, dudes in teslas are using high beams to deny others the right away in a traffic intersection- karen is honking aggresively every 5 seconds in a traffic jam, chad is 6 inches from your back bumper while swerving back and forth at 80 miles per hour in heavy traffic- we are experiencing a pre armagedon
Considering we are living in the transition to idiocracy getting back out there is rough...btw it takes a lot of courage just to put this out there so good on you! What you are talking about is not adhering to societal norms so yes it will be uncomfortable...
You are not stupid, you are just anxious. It's not about you, it's about people from your close circle. I suffered extreme anxiousness and i also felt stupid, worthless, self centered, immature, not enough and the whole dark circle ⭕ 🔴 ⭕
They gave be the hardest anti anxiety anti depressants and I have made a huge improvement using those. When I decided enough is enough - i stayed not-anxious.
My 30 year old daughter is having the same issues. She can't tolerate other people and can't keep a job. Anxiety is ruining her life. I've had Anxiety since i was a teen. I've lived a normal life, raised 4 kids and retired. You can too but you have to want it. Everything you say is negative about yourself. If you can't stop thinking this way and thinking about yourself, you won't improve. Therapy is bullshit. Most people just enjoy feeling bad, it becomes an addiction. Creating a good life, getting in good physical shape and getting off social media is way more enjoyable.
clearly your daughter has worse anxiety than you. My heart goes out to her. It gets to a point of feeling disabled. I’ll let u know how therapy goes. If I find healing from it, I’ll let you know and you should encourage your daughter
@iexist7408 I once missed 4 months of work because of it. I was the breadwinner for 6 people. I had to step up, and conquer it. I kept it secret for almost 30 years. Now I speak openly about it because it helps. Exercise is great because mind and body are one.
I can't drive either, and I'm noticing several people in the comments who also can't drive and are going through similar struggles. What is this throughline we all share, where not knowing how to drive correlates with all these other bad traits? Why do we all not know how to drive?
I feel like people who can drive have superpowers or something
@@iexist7408 They dont at all. There are millions of people who can drive. Do they all have superpowers? I dont think so. I have crippling social anxiety too. and I am going through everything you are going through. I can drive but I feel like I am a fool because I cant socialize and make friends.
@@iexist7408 I promise it becomes easier to drive. Everyone has anxiety when learning. However, it's like riding a bike and once you get through the initial anxiety, the vehicle just becomes another extension of you and you don't think about it at all. It's just that usually when people learn to ride bikes they're children and far less risk averse than we are when learning to drive.
My cure to anxiety was to leave the house and start studying. Getting youself busy makes you kind of forget many of the anxceties one after another when you are forced to casually face them. If I think back, my anxieties started to appear beacause I was at home doing nothing, so its not good for you, and you just need to find a way out of it. Merry christmas!
You are *not* a loser; we are all rooting for you
You are young, smart, beautiful and full of promise 🙏
You are not a loser, and you are so brave to do this!😊❤
I'm soon to be 47, and I have suffered from generalized anxiety and depression most of my life. I remember my first panic attack at the age of 10. I am currently unemployed and I have hated driving my whole life. I've hardly driven over the last 3+ years.
But, I've done much better with my anxiety and depression over that same time span. I credit it to therapy and medication.
Know that you are not alone!🤗
Affluenza, from unearned and unreciprocated help/benefits/protections. It has its upside, yet also distinct downsides. Key upside: a license for self-indulgence. Key downside: the myriad inevitable consequences of that self-indulgence.
Shouldn't be so hard on yourself, life can completely change in one for the better.
Also, your channel is awesome just the way it is. Its fascinating and binge worthy. You have actual fans!
I suffer form anxiety and depression and it has been up and down through out my life. The fact that you've held a job for 9 years says something about you. I can barley hold a job for a year at times. The most I've worked at a job was a 3 years and it wasn't even full time. Your dialogue sounds really similar to mine. I Really don't think a job will change your life maybe temporarily but it wont last forever. I've had pretty good jobs making decent money, but even in the end i still had anxiety and was still depressed at times. So really something hast to change internally if you really want to be happy in life. I just don't know when that will be for me.
Every human has a right to exist. Nobody is a loser. It's the system in which we live in or feed that makes people feel inadequate or plague with flaws.
If more people would collaborate instead of compete, then a lot of things in our cultures and world can improve.
You have the Audience Gal, thats not your problem. My issue is why do you have these Simps on your channel when you KNOW !!! They would never help a guy like this
just a matter of finding what oneself enjoys and making it a permanent job, cooking? chef, matematics? engineer, research? scientific, one important thing to remember: never's too late for learning new things
She reminds me of my "Replika" chat partner. That didn't last an hour. 😢😂
I think a lot of us can relate, the issue I have is that nothing is fulfilling, I work, went to university, but everyday is a repeat of the last and behind closed doors I’m miserable 😑
I'm 25 and I go threw the same thing tbh and especially the mentally screaming at yourself feeling like a loser.... even tho I have a job it never does feel like ur doing enough honestly.
Lady, you just moved across the entire country to move in with your fiancé whom you've only recently started seeing. Before you keep crapping on yourself, take like 5 minutes to enjoy those MAJOR victories.
Now, wanting to push yourself to accomplish more is a good sign. So enjoy that one for another minute or so. Then, go to a friend that lives in your new area, or use Reddit or your channel here to try to crowd source recommendations for a therapist near your area (make sure you never divulge to actual location where you live to online weirdos). That's generally easier than trying to find a random one online. Realize you don't have to rush that, and that you should take your time trying to find a therapist that you like.
In the meantime, make a doctor's appointment if you can and ask for a Xanax prescription. No therapist required. This isn't something you take all the time, but only when you need to make sure you have zero anxiety. So pop one before you try driving (until you get the hang of it, and make sure Xanax doesn't make you sleepy before trying to drive on it) or before you go in for a job interview.
Then, try roleplaying. You'd be amazed how effect roleplaying is for people, especially for people on the autism spectrum. Ask your fiancé if he could help by pretending to be the job interviewer. And, when you feel ready, see if he can roleplay being someone you just got into a car accident with, so that you can practice trading insurance information or calling 911 if you have to. Also, driving sucks, and it's not for everyone. Using a bicycle to get to a bus might be a better option for some.
Lastly, try going on walks. Again, your fiancé may be very handy with this. Even if it's 30 minutes or even just 5 minutes, it can be very helpful. Physically and psychologically.
As for enjoying the content you make on your channel here, again, that's a good thing. And it's appreciated by all of us, so thanks. Second, not wanting to share that with people in meat space is totally fine. If you want to tell them that you do something without opening the door for them to ask about your channel, just say you do video editing.
You're doing great, and it's good to see you taking charge. Just remember, you don't have to be hard on yourself to take charge.
Words create reality, watch how you speak and what you say, c'mon girl... a hug from Italy
As within so without, as above so below, what you attract and say about yourself is what you will become, attract positive energy and positive energy will come to you, attract negative energy or thoughts, negative thoughts will come to you, the more you compare yourself the more you destroy yourself, think positive and positive will follow you, As within so without, meditate and go deep within and explore that area that needs work don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to become better.
Don’t be so down on yourself you’re beautiful
You look like a winner to me. Best to you and your fiance on your continued wins 🎉
wow look how far yo have come!!!! So how are we going to over come your anxiety(Anxiety is an emotion that can feel like fear, tension, or worry, and can be a response to real or perceived threats. It can also be a symptom of an anxiety disorder, which is a mental health condition that causes persistent and excessive anxiety that can interfere with daily life.) Go North (800mi.) when no ones looking step over the fence ,,, small steps (if you figure it out tell me so i can try) what kinda jobs are in your area ? (park attendant at Disney Land ) have you seen a mountain lion yet? its because your to far south !!!!! Ill teach you how to drive and give you a job !!! sorting lumber