I'd argue that rather than believing that every woman in the room already wants him, he should be completely indifferent to whether or not any woman in the room wants him. The first reeks of arrogance. The second is confidence in the fact that you don't actually need the approval of women to be a good person.
Just because your self-worth is unrelated to the approval of women should not make you indifferent to her response. Presumably you are approaching because you want her, and it's nicer to get what you want than not, even if your sense of self worth is not defined by it.
@@nicholasblakiston6297 Do you really want a woman who is attracted to you because you come across as an arrogant, self involved, douche? I'd rather be alone, thanks.
can get a internship without experience, can get a non-risky low-payment temporary job without experience, use it further to upgrade. so on. Same in every aspect of life.
@@barccylearn and get experience. No one "use people", you trade your experience and work for money. The better you get the better oportunities to rise. Also you can work by your own so no one can "use you".
@@Marioperezp pratham was saying that the business practice of getting on for experience is the same as dating. If someone dates someone that they don't like with the intention of dumping them after getting some experience, that is just using them, and isn't exactly the healthiest of things.
That's really crazy women are repelled by guys who are interested enough in them to have an emotional stake in the outcome. A guy who overcomes his nervousness to put himself on the line should be praised for his courage, not insulted by some ----- who's only interested in guys who will treat her like a flavor of the day easily replaceable by the next skirt that passes by.
Apparently thats what women want. Idk why i dont make up the rules i just play by em lol. Doesmt make sense but women never make sense. Dont treat any of them like theyre special because they arent. Thats how they wamna be treated anyways so win win. Also be 100% ok with being single. If youre ok with that then youve won at life imo
EXACTLY! Women DO NOT get this at all. If he seems confident its because he DOES NOT CARE about the result of the interaction. He knows he will just "catch the next one" if you say no. He also knows, he doesn't intend to see you "after tonight". So at worst his evening plans don't go well. Women don't get this. They prefer to be used.
Because a desperate guy is one hair breadth away from flying into a rage if things don't go his way. I know I've seen it. She wasn't talking about mere nervousness.
Women should feel flattered that a man is nervous and gets shaky talking to them. I've known plenty of guys that can get any girl but gets super nervous around that ONE special girl.
Nope. A lot are like that, not all. Same argument that's applied to the bear pickers gets applied to you.. it's your choice to take responsibility, or not, for the people you surround yourself with.
This is a form of circular logic. You're saying you're not attracted to him because he's desperate, but the reason he's desperate is because he can't find a woman to like him. So apparently you're saying that if the guy actually cares about meeting you and wants it to go well, you're not attracted, but if he gives off the vibe that meeting you isn't that important to him and it doesn't matter, NOW you want him. I'm sorry but this is further proof that women are insane. It makes no sense.
Yep. Don't forget about the tears in the coming week when he doesn't call her back and she bitches that "men are users" or pigs or whatever. Not realizing thats because those are the men she CHOOSES based on this exact criteria.
This is so true. I’m not like those other guys. I think you’re special. I don’t approach you thinking ‘You’re just another port in a storm’. Yet you dismiss me? 😝
@@infiniterer287Exactly, no guy is going to stress out over a woman He's not attracted to/interested in, the same goes for a woman, She's not going to lose any sleep over a guy that She has ZERO interest in
Confidence isn’t thinking you do “the right things” and say “the right words”, then you get what you want. Confidence is knowing that no matter what happens, you are okay and you will be okay
Exactly! It gets a lot easier once you understand that you loose nothing. If she shoots you down, you didn’t have her to begin with. You lost nothing except a few minutes of your time. Be happy about rejection, she didn’t waste your time.
@@JosephKleppelWhen a man approaches a woman, he’s putting himself out there with the hope of forming a connection. Approaching someone takes, emotional energy, and often some level of personal risk. The very act of approaching is driven by the belief that the outcome would be successful and that you have her. If someone were to fully believe that they couldn’t "lose" because they never "had" anything, this would suggest there’s no potential for success either, so why bother approach? That would undermine the point of approaching someone in the first place. Also you're reducing human beings to mere objects to be won or lost and emotional connections to a game of bets
You must be comfortable with yourself first. "Go create your own adventure", was what my Grandfather used to say. Self value/esteem/respect is the solution. Not "everyone wants me", rather "I'm a valuable and unique person." It's a wholeistic/all-encompassing mind shift rather than a self-centered one and is single handedly one of the greatest secrets of life.
@@jordanharrison8769 Are you kidding me. Do you know how many losers are not even working? If you have a normal job, you have more value than you think.
It always amazes me, when a girl picks up on how desperate he wants her, she then gets turned off by this. She then goes to meet guys who couldn't care less who she is, then she turns around and complains 'why boys don't like me' or 'WOW! He doesn't want me.' You just met a guy who clearly wants you.
I don't like desperate guys.. those who have pestering vibes. Those who won't take a hint and keep bothering when you've told them no. But nervous, shaky or jittery doesn't mean desperate. In fact if a guy is nervous, I am actually nicer.. and will smile and try to be encouraging. I will even make a light joke to get him to feel more at ease. I get nervous during job interviews sometimes, and it's not because I'm desperate for the job. It could just be discomfort or mild anxiety. I can relate and quite frankly I would like the guy calm down and find his wits. It's the cocky ones with bad lines that annoy me!
@@SandTguy that's the dumbest thing I've heard. Why should a woman act like she's blind and not care about a guy's looks or his stability? Would you date and marry an ugly chick? I think when you're looking at a life partner, you should choose someone you truly like and someone you get along with. Why force yourself to marry someone you're not attracted to or someone whom you can't live the life you want with? What is toxic is having limits like you'll ONLY date someone who is blonde or is 6ft or has a ferrari. Otherwise, it's not wrong to want to date someone you're attracted to. Just because nervousness is not a dealbreaker, doesn't mean you have to date the guy if you're not compatible.
A confident average guy will get a "no thank you" and ugly confident guy will get a "get away from me creep". A rich, good looking bad boy will get the women
Dont be "confident" just simply treat them as if they arent special because they arent. They love it if you dont think theyre all that. Drives em nuts lol. Be ok with being single. Thats the first thing everyone needs to do. If youre truly ok being single you wont care if she rejects you or not becsuse like i said they aremt special lol
That is not necessary true. As a person who spent a lot of time in bars sober (bar cook), trust me, the drunker you are the more creepy you become. Women also, the drunker they become the meaner they get. Try something, from now on in, only hit on women in sober situations. Gas stations, in line at the store, walking the dog. Also, do not go straight for the kill. Have a conversation first and keep in mind, based on the conversation you are having you may not want to hit on her after you talk to her for a minute or two.
This is the problem. Not what you said specifically, but the underlying mindset behind it. There’s your problem. If you’re a guy and non ironically say anything involving: Bad boys, nice guys, alpha male, 304, or any of the other cringe internet speak. Change your mindset and you’ll change your life. I promise. The weird, cringey, self deprecating, jealous of guys who can get girls nonsense is just such a bad look
Here is a test for you, try to go on a dating site and pretend to be an average looking guy with average background. Then with all your confidence try to see how many matches or keepers you get. Will tell you now it has been done for by other women and it did not end the way they thought it would.
@@acosma7730thanks for your common sense. Men give women far too many options just for existing, then complain these same women have their heads through the roof. Men are the problem and won’t admit to it
@@acosma7730 while i agree that approach sucks, what's the alternative? Browsing bars? Going to women in the store hoping they are single AND looking? Risk getting fired at work? Bothering women at the gym? I mean, dating sites suck, but so does being an adult in your 30s trying to date.
Thats fine and all, but you get to a point where you are approaching 30 and single and everyone around is getting married and starting families and thats also really what you want, thats your biggest current goal, and yiu have no prospects. I know im a catch but i dont have time or the desire to play all the dumb games. I dont care about getting "laid", and if such ridiculous things about a guy being nervous when talking to you make you turn him away then i dont want that kind of woman anyway because that sounds flakey AF. Ya, some of us are desperate, but not because we cant pick up some random chick, but because we really want to find that one to build a life with.
This comes across as desperate too. You’re thinking way too much into it. To come at some casual interaction with a girl who’s a random stranger with that attitude… yeah that’s gonna cause some issues
the richest guy is going to be very confident, so that will make him more attractive, and the fact that he is rich is going to attract a lot of gold diggers, which is going to further solidify this image of him being the guy every girl wants
@@BardelystheMagnificent she is not my type, buddy. I honestly think she has good videos. Plus, I’ve almost given up on women in my generation. She actually gives me hope that I might, one day, find the girl I want to live with. So no, I’m not simping. I’m just saying what I believe
Kinda seems like this is why guys are going to other countries for women. The guys she looks for will more than likely treat her like crap, cheat, and move on. The insecure guy is more likely to be loyal because they know being alone sucks to they empathize.
Yea but they dont want that they want someone who doesnt treat them as special. For whatever reason thats just what they want regaurdless what they tell you. So dont treat them like theyre special because they arent and be ok being single. Best advice i can give. 😊
Eh, sometimes maybe. This might work for the younger guys. Desperation's not a good look for anyone tbh. But in my stage of life, I absolutely don't go anywhere with the intentions of getting a number. Doesn't seem to change much whether someone's interested or not.
Nah. You're either handsome or you're not. That's literally the beginning, middle, and end. Some girls actually value other stuff like integrity and confidence, but if you're not handsome they'll never even look at you. Be handsome is the answer. Being rich also helps. If that sounds like a shallow garbage deal, it's probably because it's what the world's made of. Have a nice day. 🙂
@@Kit-kk9cb I mean, I don't like it, but I'd prefer to hear truth over encouragement, if the encouragement is based in falsehoods anyhow. The "confidence" argument has been made since I was a kid, and it's always been bullsh*t.
@@Turd_Rocket Well confidence is important, and it can make up for a lot of looks you might not have. Especially in a day and age where a genuine, confident in-person interaction with a stranger is a rare thing indeed. It's true that society, and thus also the girls therein, has become very shallow. And if you let them have their Tinder and that kind of stuff, they will actually value 100% looks. But if you go for an everyday situation, confidence is an absolute game-changer. But yes, it's NOT everything! You should look somewhat handsome, at least in the way you dress and groom yourself, and yes, you should be fit. So hitting the gym and keeping a healthy calorie balance are non negotiable. Will improve both your looks and confidence. It's important to be realistic, but to not overdo it, otherwise you're just taking away power from yourself. As a man, you have a lot of influence on how women will perceive you.
@@Kit-kk9cb None of anything you said matters if a man isn't handsome. Being fit, confident, and having good income is irrelevant if you're not also handsome. The only people who believe the opposite are either handsome, or dating someone handsome. You aren't really contradicting me, you sort of said the same thing in a slightly nicer way. Also, the world hasn't "become" shallow. It's always been a shallow place.
@@Turd_Rocket sorry dude, you lost me with your black pill attitude. also handsome doesn't really have a good definition. you may also like a girl less for her face, more for her curves, just like she may want you less for your face, more for your muscles
Hi Billie. I think you will never read it but I really wanted to thank you for telling men's words with your woman's voice so our struggles can be heard a bit too. Thank you so much for that. You are a gem of a woman. Cheers from an unknown frenchman.
Not at all. As a natural introvert this is my genuine state. Trust me the ladies can't give a damn. You still have to be hot to them. Nothing else matters. Its reality. Men and women are shallow. Women just lie about it. Women are very happy to ignore my ignoring of them.
@Billie Can you make a guide for those that are introverts and how to deal with stress, some introverts either have no EXP, may not be a simp but doesn't know how to interact/approach/carry on a conversation.
You should look for that advice from someone who actually knows the subject. Good psychology guides on exactly that can be found in abundance here on TH-cam.
Read the Dale Carnegie book “How to Make Friends and Influence People “, and there are books on Amazon about here to talk to anyone about anything. Also, practice talking to ALL people of all ages, genders, races, etc, so that you get comfortable talking to all types of strangers. Once you can do that. approaching a woman you are attracted to will be easier. Good luck! 🍀
Yeah I have a 6 ft plus guy approach a woman with confidence and have a 5 ft 2 guy approach a woman with the same confidence guess who she's going to pick every time
@@Dad_of_War height isn't the only thing to consider though my guy. Grooming, humor, how smart the person is, how they work, how they carry themselves, and how they treat others all come into effect. Now, if we put all this the same and she still chooses the taller guy then sure whatever 🤷🏽♀️ I probably would too. But if I was a tall woman and I saw a little dude who had his crap together and a tall dude who didnt look reliable I'd take the little dude all day
Thank you for giving positive encouragement for men and women. I was struggling with being nervous when I approached a woman but i learn to be confident and assertive, i didn't allow my disability and autism to get me down.
Yes, remember, you lose nothing. You do not have the woman to begin with. If she turns you down, you lost nothing. If she says yes, you gain a date. Hitting on a woman is about the only bet in a man’s life that you can only win. Warning, if you get mad at rejection, you loose big time. If other women see you handling rejection poorly, they will not want to talk to you. You are not attracted to every woman you see. It is only fair that some women will not be attracted to you.
Sounds like a serious cope. Be in denial about coming off as desperate or weird. Just blame everyone else and never self reflect. Winning strategy there
@@pdawg2716not cope just realistic, there are a lot of serial killers that get in relationships with women because they chose to “self reflect” everyday and ended up dead or locked up
They do very well with ladies 😂 No kidding, research shows women like that type (manipulative, self confident and extremely indifferent to what the others think about him)
Shit I'm 6'2, fairly attractive, nice beard, big dick, dress well, in shape, nice, caring, romantic, honest etc etc and even I have trouble even though I check almost all the boxes. I have it pretty damn good compared to most guys and up until a few months ago I hadn't even had a gf for several years. Funny thing is right after I got my gf I started getting several women hitting on me a week and I think it's just cause I'm more confident and wasn't looking for a girl anymore. So even if you check all of the boxes you're not going anywhere if you seem unconfident and desperate.
We should just take a page from the ancient Israelites and make it law that every woman has a man and every man has a woman. I also think that just because a guy approaches a woman and doesn’t look to have an abundance of confidence doesn’t mean that he is not confident. Maybe he is an has ataxia, maybe he has an anxiety disorder, maybe he has asthma or some other disability. Your perception doesn’t always equal reality. This is something that women need to get better about. I myself am disabled and I can tell you from experience a lot of women instantly assume the worst . I just so happen to have ataxia. I was born with brain cancer. I will never be able to sit still . Women want guys to ask them out but don’t want a guy that wants them. Make up your damn mind.
I mean it's okay to be nervous because honestly it's very difficult for anyone to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. That being said, you can't let it get you down if it doesn't go your way. Seriously if a woman turning you down is going to destroy your confidence and ruin your day. Then you need to go back and find a way to be happy on your own first.
@NightmareMindset of course there are long-term effects of isolation but I never said to isolate yourself. I simply said that you have to go find your happiness before you find someone else. Basically I'm alluding to the fact that you can't expect someone else to make you happy. If you are isolating yourself then that is another problem you yourself have to fix
I think about it like this: crushes and infatuations are for women and children. Let them be the ones forming fantasies in their minds. As men we are entitled to our opinions of who we like and dislike but we put ourselves in an embarrassing position when we form crushes and fawn over people.
A confident guy will get better reactions from women, but he won't get the women. It's only being attractive, rich, AND confident that gets you the girl.
My guy, I appreciate your perspective but doomposting like this only puts other good men down. If the woman you’re going for only cares if you’re super rich and a celebrity, guess what? She’s a waste of your time!!! Go for women with good values who don’t care about what car you drive or if you look like their celebrity crush or not. The average woman *is* very misandristic (thanks to horrible tiktok takes) but don’t let that get you down, good women *do* still exist. Stay strong brother. 💪🏾
@@yogun1922thank you for your common sense. Men are the ones who say “if you’re not tall and successful and rich, don’t bother”. Women just take advantage of that mentality and men still keep trying to meet absurd standards. It’s so laughable
I go out and enjoy myself. Guess what happens? I get ignored. I approach women, no shakey voice, give them a compliment and sometimes get the number and it leads to. . .wait for it. . . NOWHERE lol dating in today's climate is such a shit stew
Ok, I would like to know your age. The reason is I am 47 and women my age tend to do that less. I do have a suspicion that the younger generations are having a harder time with the dating scene.
@user-qv6sn9xy9k I'm 33, it's just a disaster trying to meet people rather it be in person or on apps. I recently had a woman approach me and just to poke jabs at me from my name, to the clothes I had on, the hair style I had all to at the end say I dont think you have anything to offer me. She's 40 with a 19yr old at the same bar I'm at but she made fun of me for being there.
@@bbyhulk21 Yes, key word: BAR!!! I have spent a lot of time sober in a bar because I moonlight as a bar cook. Women and men tend to get more mean when getting drunk. Try this, from now on in, only approach women in non drinking settings. Gas stations, in line at the store, parks, women out walking their dogs. Stay away from the bars.
@user-qv6sn9xy9k women have voiced all over the internet, on podcasts, and elsewhere they hate being approached at the gas station. I tend to try to meet women anywhere I can, while I'm getting groceries, at the park or wherever. I just think the culture we live in currently is tough with some many people being "casual" and not trying to be date for real.
@@bbyhulk21 Thanks for the tip. I didn’t know gas stations were bad somehow. At the pump maybe. When I said gas station I was referring to when standing in line in the store part. Still, I didn’t know gas stations were hands off. Thanks.
Yes. At 22 I was 6'4" and I looked like the guy every girl thought she was looking for. I killed every encounter with my vibe. My friend was 5'8", weighed 250 pounds, and not in a good way. He was pizza faced with acne, but he would pick up every woman who would see me and slow down her day hoping that I would talk to her. The joke was that John had the personality that goes with my body.
"He doesn't make getting women a priority". K, well.... we might have a big problem because... deprioritize them? So most guys will just not do anything then. And then you'll complain about how pathetic men are, and don't have ambition, and don't care about the things you want them to care about. And you'll be like, "what is wrong with men?". Why aren't they trying? Oh... because it's not just that you want men to not be desperate, he has to just naturally have lots of amazing qualities, and none of it is supposed to have anything to do with women. Imagine if women were actually trying to impress men. I mean... it might be a little annoying, but I bet a lot of guys would give her a chance. But no, men have to be perfect. I can't imagine how refreshing it would be if a woman approached me and was so nervous that she was like, "if this doesn't go well, it will ruin my day". I'd be like.... go on. Lol.
It is because women beg for attention. They don't want to find love, they just want to be appreciated because they smeared 10 tons of make up in their face in the morning. That is just the impression I get. It is not about love or companionship, just to get attention, and Jackpot if the guy with the money and the good looks gives them that attention
It is because women beg for attention. They don't want to find love, they just want to be appreciated because they smeared 10 tons of make up in their face in the morning. That is just the impression I get. It is not about love or companionship, just to get attention, and Jackpot if the guy with the money and the good looks gives them that attention
I think she could have expressed it in a more eloquent way--technically it is deprioritising because you don't make it your only, number one goal in the room. But I'd call it "being comfortable and unshaken if you're not walking home with a GF that day." It's a HUGE turn off to obviously act and speak as if you needed to get a date on the spot. It's sort of like negotiating. If you can walk away and be OK with it, that means you have leverage. You'll get further if people think you have leverage.
@@canto_v12 yeah sure, but there's still a conflict. It is a very strange and confusing thing to be told, the reason you don't get something, is because you want it too much.... also ... you don't put nearly as much effort in it, as you should, and need to.
Imagine being stuck in a desert alone, no water. You bump into another human, and they say: "I have all the water you need to not die in the sun, but I will only ever give it to you if you behave exactly like I want you to behave, and I wont tell you what I want. You begin now."
“How Can I Meet Her” - Everly Brothers “Fine Her Finer” Frank Zappa “I Don’t Wanna Hear It” Minor Threat “5150” Van Halen Learn. It’s always a 2 way street.
As I’ve gotten older, and therefore gotten more used to being rejected over and over, I’ve learned to relax around women. However I absolutely cannot deprioritize women from my list of life goals, and sure enough they are at the top. Yes getting the girl is my ultimate goal and always has been. Why do you think men want to make tons of money and drive really nice cars? Because life sucks unless you actually get the girl you want!
I love what she says about MGTOW guys. When they stop obsessing over women and work on themselves, all of a sudden they become more attractive and alluring to women. Women have always been drawn to what they are told that they are not supposed to have. Anything forbidden or taboo is gold to them. This is Reverse Psychology 101.
When I was younger I never really understood why so many girls gravitated towards me without me putting in any effort. Only as I got older did I understand that I was just doing whatever I wanted and not caring and it drove them crazy. I feel bad for guys who are adults have not learned to not give a shit and do as they please. They are living with insecurities in who they are and need to get over them and enjoy themselves.
I'm anxious around women, but confident that my day will be much much better if I ignore all of them as much as I can. Professional and to the point interactions. Nothing more. Single - no mingle - no thank you.
I disagree full heartedly, if he feels that out of all the women, you are the one worth it, that isn't desperate, it's just nerves. Thinking every women wants you is a narcissist trait 💯
Be careful on what you say about the anxious guy. That confident guy who assumes every woman likes him at one point was that anxious guy. The way to this desired confidence is through by taking anxious action. If rubbing a few women the wrong way is the price to pay, so be it. But a man has to start somewhere.
I’ve actually gotten a lot of numbers by going up to woman but I do look decently attractive My biggest issue is I’m 5’5” though Most woman in person don’t seem to care They tend to care more on dating sites but only sometimes I tend to not approach woman her are way taller than me I’d say for advice Don’t approach woman in groups Don’t approach woman her look to be in a hurry Have a decent haircut Make sure you’re dressed decently Brush your teeth Cut your nails Have a friendly looking expression And make your intentions known early Don’t talk to her for an hour than ask for her number Make sure it’s a public place like a coffee shop Barnes and noble is a great place A lot of college aged girls and there’s usually a coffee shop in there U guys have to realize Like ya sometime you’ll get a fake number Sometimes she’ll lie about having a bf It is what it is Just be genuine don’t try any stupid tricks
That is extremely good advice. Those are the exact same reasons why it is easy for me to hit on women. It is funny because I am only 5’7” but I am very muscular.
@@JosephKleppel see that’s the thing Some characteristics can definitely help get u past the height standard If I didn’t look decent doubt I’d ever get anybody Plus I’m 35 and I still look pretty young
It took me decades of insecurity to learn something that I now tell my children and others that will listen. Here it is: "if you don't ask for the date, then it's already a NO". So go ahead and ask. It can only get better, but it won't get worse
As Dave Ramsey had said in his radio program: rich people do rich people stuff. Poor people do poor people stuff. But that just makes me a hypocrite; I'm almost a 40-year-old virgin but I'm ACTING like I'm not. I'm trying to be something I'm NOT, right? But who said I needed to be desperate anyway? And who is calling me out for being fake? Regardless, desperation is a state to simply avoid; better to not be than to be regardless of a sex life, or lack thereof.
A lot of women tell guys to be confidence but a lot of women cant even define it. They also resent guys who struggle with it. And they also make excuses why they arent confident to approach guys. Sounds like entitlement
Yes, not all women are good at expressing their desires, but you can't change basic biology. If you're excessively nervous, the girl or woman will likely feel weirded out. Even if they could express themselves well, you can't change how they feel.
if meeting someone is not to be your main goal in a room full of women, but to enjoy yourself. What are you then doing there? For me, even if I enjoy myself, I will always get nervous around a beautiful women. That is just how it is with me. I am also an introvert, so for me to freely talk to women without getting nervous is almost impossible.
For any ladies watching this and nodding your heads, all I'm gonna say is you're gonna want to fight your own chemistry on this one. The guy who approaches you with that supreme confidence? 90% chance he doesn't care about the outcome--or you. The one who's shaky or nervous? He cares what you think, and he's facing his fears for you. Those are major green flags.
Ofc you’d say that. It just sounds like defensiveness for guys who have no experience or confidence. It’s a common cope for guys who don’t get girls to build themselves up like they are this perfect personality nice guy and morally superior to everyone else. It’s an excuse so they can say the only reason why no girls want them is because women are bad or because people only want “bad boys” or looks. I understand your thinking, but it’s the problem. That kinda thinking is why so many women are disgusted by so many guys. It’s sad and it’s kinda pathetic. It’s like the “I didn’t want you anyways” or “nice guys always lose” crap that loser guys say when they get rejected. It’s cope.
Ladies are biologically wired to seek stability, and confidence is a sign of that. The risk to her is great. If she dates a nervous guy, it's possible that he remains insecure for years and unable to grow in life. Biologically, women cannot afford to waste years on a guy who constantly second-guesses himself. They don't want to be the guy's mom. I do concede that even if a guy is nervous at first, he deserves some chances to build his character. I was that nervous guy a long time ago but built up my confidence around girls in college. I'm fortunate that my GF was very communicative about what she wanted, and helped me grow in the right ways so that I don't fall back into my childhood insecurities. At some moments, she had every right and reason to dump me for being a bratty man-child.
This is 100% true. The less you care about attracting women and the more you care about you having a good time, and making that a reality, causes women to want to be around you. Case in point I am going through the final stages of a divorce. I don’t want to get into a relationship right now. I just want to spend time with my kids and enjoy myself. The last thing I want is to get involved with a girl because my focus right now is on me and my healing process… so of course I have women coming up to flirt with me every time I am out with my kids having a great time.
I’d argue you shouldn’t pay them any attention at all if you live in the west, and find lasting endeavors/pursuits in which to invest your time and passion. Too few are worth the effort or any of your attention.
Look at every divorce nightmare, every guy who's in court-ordered financial servitude to some woman he now can't stand or who are still in a miserable marriage where it's primarily her fault and remember these were all guys who got the girl and his life is nothing but worse because of it. If a woman rejects you there's a very strong likelihood she's doing you a favor.
I wish it were that easy. I can be plenty confident around women half my age because I'm not trying to date them. Although I might find them attractive, I expect most of them to be creeped out at a man old enough to be their dad tryingb to ask them out, but the strange thing is that I often find myself able to compliment them without getting nervous or seeming desperate. It is because I don't care if they are interested in me or not. I once told a girl that she looked like a cuter, younger version of Tina Fey. That put a big smile on her face, the good kind. With the women I seek a relationship with, though, I get nervous. I got that way with a beautiful, caring Vietnamese woman I'm interested in.
Good advice love it 🥰I’m not looking for a relationship it’s nice to say hi but it would be a distraction at the moment I’m going to go and have fun anyway😂
Confidence can also be a sign he is going to pump and dump. There is no stake in the women's answer. If she says no, he moves to the next woman. There is also men that are confident with woman but there is that one woman he doesn't want to mess up. And woman wonder why they end up with fuckbois.
This is very true and has worked for me my entire life. One thing that should be said though, is that the man has to truly believe this. Women will sense a pretended as fast as they will an insecure, desperate man.
I've literally had my teeth kicked out of my face and am awaiting surgery for implants and still get laid. I've also seen these dudes she's describing and it's entirely true.
Glad there are women like you since you're one of the few ladies that speaks the truth and don't put men down to "empower" women by telling them to be manipulative and telling men they have to do more for less
being confident doesn't matter if the girl you're approaching isn't into you from the start, I simply can't count the times when I was treated like an invisible man while trying to simply greet a girl
Wow, what an instruction. No shit, if you see rejection your whole life, you cant just switch it off like that, what do you think how it works!? Yes, you are desperate, yes you try although you have nearly zero hope that things might work out. You still try and fail and cry and get up to achieve something, the one and only thing you ever wanted in life. Love, a partner, intimicy.
But...when you fall in love, the one you love becomes EVERYHING to you. This is a near universal phenomena, so how does confidence overcome desperation (for that person) in that situation?
I'd argue that rather than believing that every woman in the room already wants him, he should be completely indifferent to whether or not any woman in the room wants him.
The first reeks of arrogance. The second is confidence in the fact that you don't actually need the approval of women to be a good person.
Just because your self-worth is unrelated to the approval of women should not make you indifferent to her response. Presumably you are approaching because you want her, and it's nicer to get what you want than not, even if your sense of self worth is not defined by it.
Arrogance or humility are irrelevant. What’s important is to have the mindset that actually gives you the results you desire
100%
@@nicholasblakiston6297 Do you really want a woman who is attracted to you because you come across as an arrogant, self involved, douche?
I'd rather be alone, thanks.
Indifferent? Why even approach then?
cant get a job without experience, cant get experience without a job
can get a internship without experience,
can get a non-risky low-payment temporary job without experience,
use it further to upgrade. so on.
Same in every aspect of life.
@@prathamsrivastava1367 So use and discard people?
@@barccylearn and get experience. No one "use people", you trade your experience and work for money. The better you get the better oportunities to rise. Also you can work by your own so no one can "use you".
@@Marioperezp pratham was saying that the business practice of getting on for experience is the same as dating. If someone dates someone that they don't like with the intention of dumping them after getting some experience, that is just using them, and isn't exactly the healthiest of things.
@@barccy Read your question about expereince. and read again the answer by me, this time with positive mindset.
That's really crazy women are repelled by guys who are interested enough in them to have an emotional stake in the outcome. A guy who overcomes his nervousness to put himself on the line should be praised for his courage, not insulted by some ----- who's only interested in guys who will treat her like a flavor of the day easily replaceable by the next skirt that passes by.
Apparently thats what women want. Idk why i dont make up the rules i just play by em lol. Doesmt make sense but women never make sense. Dont treat any of them like theyre special because they arent. Thats how they wamna be treated anyways so win win. Also be 100% ok with being single. If youre ok with that then youve won at life imo
EXACTLY! Women DO NOT get this at all. If he seems confident its because he DOES NOT CARE about the result of the interaction. He knows he will just "catch the next one" if you say no. He also knows, he doesn't intend to see you "after tonight". So at worst his evening plans don't go well. Women don't get this. They prefer to be used.
The world rewards sociopathy, egocentrism, and selfishness. Do with this information what you wish.
@@NightmareMindset Not for the forces of good, not even if I could.
Because a desperate guy is one hair breadth away from flying into a rage if things don't go his way. I know I've seen it. She wasn't talking about mere nervousness.
Women should feel flattered that a man is nervous and gets shaky talking to them. I've known plenty of guys that can get any girl but gets super nervous around that ONE special girl.
If you aren't nervous, she's not the one. Or atleast their isn't any spark.
She's 100% right, getting women is an art that has been lost to the west world. Not sure why🤣🤣🤣
They'll never see it that way. As she says here, it makes them look effeminate and that turns them off everytime
@@ugiustuskeiserus8066 Of course this often results in women getting interested in gay men that aren't interested in women.
Women hate men who like them
Women all want the same thing, what they can't have. That's it. It's not about confidence. It's about him not needing her
This. Treat them like they are not special because they arent. Thats how they wamna be treated so win win. Be ok with being single.
Garbage.
Garbage.
Garbage.
This entire conversation reminds me of the stench of a landfill.
Nope. A lot are like that, not all. Same argument that's applied to the bear pickers gets applied to you.. it's your choice to take responsibility, or not, for the people you surround yourself with.
its the same girls saying: "all men are the same"
they think everyone else is at fault but not them.
The single ones anyway
Women appreciate the man that doesn't appreciate them. That's why we say choose better men.
This.
No they just choose chad/tyrone and when chad/tyrone don't say anything after women are happy
This is a form of circular logic. You're saying you're not attracted to him because he's desperate, but the reason he's desperate is because he can't find a woman to like him.
So apparently you're saying that if the guy actually cares about meeting you and wants it to go well, you're not attracted, but if he gives off the vibe that meeting you isn't that important to him and it doesn't matter, NOW you want him.
I'm sorry but this is further proof that women are insane. It makes no sense.
Yep. Don't forget about the tears in the coming week when he doesn't call her back and she bitches that "men are users" or pigs or whatever. Not realizing thats because those are the men she CHOOSES based on this exact criteria.
That's exactly what it is.
Great comment
This is so true. I’m not like those other guys. I think you’re special.
I don’t approach you thinking ‘You’re just another port in a storm’.
Yet you dismiss me? 😝
Yep. Just like buying PS5 games for an XBox. 😂
"Ahh, women"!
"I never met one yet that was half as reliable as a horse"!
John Wayne
North to Alaska / 1961
Based
That's how I naturally am😢 I feel I'm waaaaay better with all the other women EXCEPT the one woman I am actually interested in.
That's literally how it goes. High stakes create high anxiety. No one is getting nervous around a Woman They Don't value.
@@infiniterer287Exactly, no guy is going to stress out over a woman He's not attracted to/interested in, the same goes for a woman, She's not going to lose any sleep over a guy that She has ZERO interest in
@@infiniterer287best thing to do is dont value any of them and be 100% ok with being alone. Once youve got that youve won at the game of life.
This is an opinion piece, man.
Don't let it get to your head.
Remember that this chick gives "dating" advice, not life partner advice.
Get the woman who is interested in you. You’ll be good.
I remember ppl genuinely liking it each other without putting so much thought behind it
Instructions unclear; ive been tackled by the boys in blue and the siren is going off above me
But the question remains: did you do anything other than stay at home and play First Person Shooters all day?
It didn't happen to you. Stop making crap up.
@@asiandude8361 👈another loser who cant have fun
@@jimvenanzio6561 the question remains: why do losers like you have no sense of humor?
@@asiandude8361 He's likely joking, but the point stands. Being arrogant is likely to result in a bad outcome, which may include being arrested.
Confidence isn’t thinking you do “the right things” and say “the right words”, then you get what you want. Confidence is knowing that no matter what happens, you are okay and you will be okay
💯🎯
Exactly! It gets a lot easier once you understand that you loose nothing. If she shoots you down, you didn’t have her to begin with. You lost nothing except a few minutes of your time. Be happy about rejection, she didn’t waste your time.
THIS!!!
Nah, confidence is knowing that nothing is left to chance and anything should go according to plan. The word is self explanatory
@@JosephKleppelWhen a man approaches a woman, he’s putting himself out there with the hope of forming a connection. Approaching someone takes, emotional energy, and often some level of personal risk. The very act of approaching is driven by the belief that the outcome would be successful and that you have her. If someone were to fully believe that they couldn’t "lose" because they never "had" anything, this would suggest there’s no potential for success either, so why bother approach? That would undermine the point of approaching someone in the first place. Also you're reducing human beings to mere objects to be won or lost and emotional connections to a game of bets
You must be comfortable with yourself first. "Go create your own adventure", was what my Grandfather used to say. Self value/esteem/respect is the solution. Not "everyone wants me", rather "I'm a valuable and unique person." It's a wholeistic/all-encompassing mind shift rather than a self-centered one and is single handedly one of the greatest secrets of life.
Your grandfather sounds like a smart man
What if you aren't "valuable" and are just some regular dude, with a regular job?
This deserves a space in everyone's wardrobe. Put this on a T-shirt, and go *PRINT MONEY!!!!*
@@davidward9550 He was. That old dude made all my issues sound easy.
@@jordanharrison8769 Are you kidding me. Do you know how many losers are not even working? If you have a normal job, you have more value than you think.
You're proof that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain....
Man i was just thinking the same thing. A chameleon.. her colors are showing 😂😂😂😂
How so?
It always amazes me, when a girl picks up on how desperate he wants her, she then gets turned off by this. She then goes to meet guys who couldn't care less who she is, then she turns around and complains 'why boys don't like me' or 'WOW! He doesn't want me.' You just met a guy who clearly wants you.
I don't like desperate guys.. those who have pestering vibes. Those who won't take a hint and keep bothering when you've told them no.
But nervous, shaky or jittery doesn't mean desperate. In fact if a guy is nervous, I am actually nicer.. and will smile and try to be encouraging. I will even make a light joke to get him to feel more at ease.
I get nervous during job interviews sometimes, and it's not because I'm desperate for the job. It could just be discomfort or mild anxiety. I can relate and quite frankly I would like the guy calm down and find his wits.
It's the cocky ones with bad lines that annoy me!
@@SandTguy that's the dumbest thing I've heard. Why should a woman act like she's blind and not care about a guy's looks or his stability?
Would you date and marry an ugly chick? I think when you're looking at a life partner, you should choose someone you truly like and someone you get along with. Why force yourself to marry someone you're not attracted to or someone whom you can't live the life you want with?
What is toxic is having limits like you'll ONLY date someone who is blonde or is 6ft or has a ferrari. Otherwise, it's not wrong to want to date someone you're attracted to.
Just because nervousness is not a dealbreaker, doesn't mean you have to date the guy if you're not compatible.
@@RapK-fu2sh I guess I can see your point
A confident average guy will get a "no thank you" and ugly confident guy will get a "get away from me creep". A rich, good looking bad boy will get the women
Yeah exactly
Dont be "confident" just simply treat them as if they arent special because they arent. They love it if you dont think theyre all that. Drives em nuts lol. Be ok with being single. Thats the first thing everyone needs to do. If youre truly ok being single you wont care if she rejects you or not becsuse like i said they aremt special lol
100%
That is not necessary true. As a person who spent a lot of time in bars sober (bar cook), trust me, the drunker you are the more creepy you become. Women also, the drunker they become the meaner they get. Try something, from now on in, only hit on women in sober situations. Gas stations, in line at the store, walking the dog. Also, do not go straight for the kill. Have a conversation first and keep in mind, based on the conversation you are having you may not want to hit on her after you talk to her for a minute or two.
This is the problem. Not what you said specifically, but the underlying mindset behind it. There’s your problem. If you’re a guy and non ironically say anything involving:
Bad boys, nice guys, alpha male, 304, or any of the other cringe internet speak. Change your mindset and you’ll change your life. I promise. The weird, cringey, self deprecating, jealous of guys who can get girls nonsense is just such a bad look
Here is a test for you, try to go on a dating site and pretend to be an average looking guy with average background. Then with all your confidence try to see how many matches or keepers you get. Will tell you now it has been done for by other women and it did not end the way they thought it would.
The problem with that approach is the dating site. 😜
@@acosma7730thanks for your common sense. Men give women far too many options just for existing, then complain these same women have their heads through the roof. Men are the problem and won’t admit to it
@@acosma7730exactly. Notice how men validate women just for existing and then complain the women have too big of egos. Whose fault is that?
@@acosma7730 while i agree that approach sucks, what's the alternative? Browsing bars? Going to women in the store hoping they are single AND looking? Risk getting fired at work? Bothering women at the gym? I mean, dating sites suck, but so does being an adult in your 30s trying to date.
You get few matches and even fewer dates. Dating sites are a good way to dishearten a man
Thats fine and all, but you get to a point where you are approaching 30 and single and everyone around is getting married and starting families and thats also really what you want, thats your biggest current goal, and yiu have no prospects. I know im a catch but i dont have time or the desire to play all the dumb games. I dont care about getting "laid", and if such ridiculous things about a guy being nervous when talking to you make you turn him away then i dont want that kind of woman anyway because that sounds flakey AF. Ya, some of us are desperate, but not because we cant pick up some random chick, but because we really want to find that one to build a life with.
Most modern women don't want to build a life. They want to wait at the finish line for the man to bring a ready made life to her.
Yup
I feel you bro i really do but dont overthink this stuff. Dont treat them special because theyre not. Women love stupid games. Sad but true.
This comes across as desperate too. You’re thinking way too much into it. To come at some casual interaction with a girl who’s a random stranger with that attitude… yeah that’s gonna cause some issues
Solution. Passport bro.
Nah, it’s probably the richest guy.
the richest guy is going to be very confident, so that will make him more attractive, and the fact that he is rich is going to attract a lot of gold diggers, which is going to further solidify this image of him being the guy every girl wants
@@San-lh8us bro I’m being facetious, I didn’t need you to report your findings 💀
@@San-lh8us 100%
This is why I don't care about getting a girlfriend anymore 😅 The less you care about them , the more they care about why you don't care
True, but that confidence takes time to develop, it's a learning experience, some never get it😂
Love your videos. So helpful to women and it gives hope to men like me that there are good girls out there. Keep doing what you’re doing!
Stop simping
@@BardelystheMagnificent she is not my type, buddy. I honestly think she has good videos. Plus, I’ve almost given up on women in my generation. She actually gives me hope that I might, one day, find the girl I want to live with. So no, I’m not simping. I’m just saying what I believe
Kinda seems like this is why guys are going to other countries for women. The guys she looks for will more than likely treat her like crap, cheat, and move on. The insecure guy is more likely to be loyal because they know being alone sucks to they empathize.
Yea but they dont want that they want someone who doesnt treat them as special. For whatever reason thats just what they want regaurdless what they tell you. So dont treat them like theyre special because they arent and be ok being single. Best advice i can give. 😊
Eh, sometimes maybe. This might work for the younger guys. Desperation's not a good look for anyone tbh. But in my stage of life, I absolutely don't go anywhere with the intentions of getting a number. Doesn't seem to change much whether someone's interested or not.
Nah.
You're either handsome or you're not.
That's literally the beginning, middle, and end.
Some girls actually value other stuff like integrity and confidence, but if you're not handsome they'll never even look at you.
Be handsome is the answer.
Being rich also helps.
If that sounds like a shallow garbage deal, it's probably because it's what the world's made of.
Have a nice day. 🙂
You got the right of it. It's the same with being creepy or being hot. If an attractive guy is nervous, she will find it cute.
@@Kit-kk9cb I mean, I don't like it, but I'd prefer to hear truth over encouragement, if the encouragement is based in falsehoods anyhow.
The "confidence" argument has been made since I was a kid, and it's always been bullsh*t.
@@Turd_Rocket Well confidence is important, and it can make up for a lot of looks you might not have. Especially in a day and age where a genuine, confident in-person interaction with a stranger is a rare thing indeed. It's true that society, and thus also the girls therein, has become very shallow. And if you let them have their Tinder and that kind of stuff, they will actually value 100% looks.
But if you go for an everyday situation, confidence is an absolute game-changer. But yes, it's NOT everything! You should look somewhat handsome, at least in the way you dress and groom yourself, and yes, you should be fit. So hitting the gym and keeping a healthy calorie balance are non negotiable. Will improve both your looks and confidence.
It's important to be realistic, but to not overdo it, otherwise you're just taking away power from yourself. As a man, you have a lot of influence on how women will perceive you.
@@Kit-kk9cb None of anything you said matters if a man isn't handsome.
Being fit, confident, and having good income is irrelevant if you're not also handsome.
The only people who believe the opposite are either handsome, or dating someone handsome.
You aren't really contradicting me, you sort of said the same thing in a slightly nicer way.
Also, the world hasn't "become" shallow. It's always been a shallow place.
@@Turd_Rocket sorry dude, you lost me with your black pill attitude. also handsome doesn't really have a good definition. you may also like a girl less for her face, more for her curves, just like she may want you less for your face, more for your muscles
Hi Billie. I think you will never read it but I really wanted to thank you for telling men's words with your woman's voice so our struggles can be heard a bit too. Thank you so much for that. You are a gem of a woman.
Cheers from an unknown frenchman.
You know what guy in the room has the most success? The one who realizes it's not worth his time and effort to approach the woman.
Not at all. As a natural introvert this is my genuine state. Trust me the ladies can't give a damn. You still have to be hot to them. Nothing else matters. Its reality. Men and women are shallow. Women just lie about it. Women are very happy to ignore my ignoring of them.
He is afraid of getting accused of SA it’s not worth it guys don’t do it
@Billie Can you make a guide for those that are introverts and how to deal with stress, some introverts either have no EXP, may not be a simp but doesn't know how to interact/approach/carry on a conversation.
You should look for that advice from someone who actually knows the subject. Good psychology guides on exactly that can be found in abundance here on TH-cam.
Read the Dale Carnegie book “How to Make Friends and Influence People “, and there are books on Amazon about here to talk to anyone about anything. Also, practice talking to ALL people of all ages, genders, races, etc, so that you get comfortable talking to all types of strangers. Once you can do that. approaching a woman you are attracted to will be easier. Good luck! 🍀
"I don't want a confident man who is comfortable in his own skin, and knows where he is going in life"- said no woman ever.
Yeah I have a 6 ft plus guy approach a woman with confidence and have a 5 ft 2 guy approach a woman with the same confidence guess who she's going to pick every time
There's more women in the world than just that 1 shallow woman who picked the 6 ft guy bud ...brush it off n forget it ever even happened 👌
Probably the one that doesn't smell like body odor and cleans himself
@@davidward9550 that wasn't one of the options
@@Dad_of_War height isn't the only thing to consider though my guy. Grooming, humor, how smart the person is, how they work, how they carry themselves, and how they treat others all come into effect.
Now, if we put all this the same and she still chooses the taller guy then sure whatever 🤷🏽♀️ I probably would too. But if I was a tall woman and I saw a little dude who had his crap together and a tall dude who didnt look reliable I'd take the little dude all day
The one with the bigger bank account
This woman is 💯 absolutely positively spot on!!!
Thank you for giving positive encouragement for men and women. I was struggling with being nervous when I approached a woman but i learn to be confident and assertive, i didn't allow my disability and autism to get me down.
Yes, remember, you lose nothing. You do not have the woman to begin with. If she turns you down, you lost nothing. If she says yes, you gain a date. Hitting on a woman is about the only bet in a man’s life that you can only win. Warning, if you get mad at rejection, you loose big time. If other women see you handling rejection poorly, they will not want to talk to you. You are not attracted to every woman you see. It is only fair that some women will not be attracted to you.
You took away my whole depression with this short, thank you
That's amazing hahah you do you and get comfortable talking to women. Those are not mutually exclusive things! We can all better ourselves.
So, psychopaths are what you want?
Sounds like a serious cope. Be in denial about coming off as desperate or weird. Just blame everyone else and never self reflect. Winning strategy there
@@pdawg2716not cope just realistic, there are a lot of serial killers that get in relationships with women because they chose to “self reflect” everyday and ended up dead or locked up
@@kyledeguzman165The number of active serial killers is tiny. That’s an extreme example.
They do very well with ladies 😂 No kidding, research shows women like that type (manipulative, self confident and extremely indifferent to what the others think about him)
Try being a dude who is alone all the time. That nervous dude is probably depressed. And had enough courage to shoot his shot.
I think it's really sweet is a guy gets embarrassed, brushes, shake's and is nervous around you. There the best kind - it mean they really like you.
True, but it certainly doesn't make the best first impression.
@@canto_v12 depends on how much you think he is cute...
Bro needs to be tall, end of.
Shit I'm 6'2, fairly attractive, nice beard, big dick, dress well, in shape, nice, caring, romantic, honest etc etc and even I have trouble even though I check almost all the boxes. I have it pretty damn good compared to most guys and up until a few months ago I hadn't even had a gf for several years. Funny thing is right after I got my gf I started getting several women hitting on me a week and I think it's just cause I'm more confident and wasn't looking for a girl anymore.
So even if you check all of the boxes you're not going anywhere if you seem unconfident and desperate.
We should just take a page from the ancient Israelites and make it law that every woman has a man and every man has a woman. I also think that just because a guy approaches a woman and doesn’t look to have an abundance of confidence doesn’t mean that he is not confident. Maybe he is an has ataxia, maybe he has an anxiety disorder, maybe he has asthma or some other disability. Your perception doesn’t always equal reality. This is something that women need to get better about. I myself am disabled and I can tell you from experience a lot of women instantly assume the worst . I just so happen to have ataxia. I was born with brain cancer. I will never be able to sit still . Women want guys to ask them out but don’t want a guy that wants them. Make up your damn mind.
I mean it's okay to be nervous because honestly it's very difficult for anyone to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. That being said, you can't let it get you down if it doesn't go your way.
Seriously if a woman turning you down is going to destroy your confidence and ruin your day. Then you need to go back and find a way to be happy on your own first.
See, everyone says that. But they also very conveniently ignore the effects of long term isolation on the human psyche.
@NightmareMindset of course there are long-term effects of isolation but I never said to isolate yourself. I simply said that you have to go find your happiness before you find someone else. Basically I'm alluding to the fact that you can't expect someone else to make you happy.
If you are isolating yourself then that is another problem you yourself have to fix
@@NightmareMindset Don't isolate yourself just because one attempt went bad.
Just get on with your day and look for the next opportunity.
I think about it like this: crushes and infatuations are for women and children. Let them be the ones forming fantasies in their minds. As men we are entitled to our opinions of who we like and dislike but we put ourselves in an embarrassing position when we form crushes and fawn over people.
Good point.
A confident guy will get better reactions from women, but he won't get the women. It's only being attractive, rich, AND confident that gets you the girl.
My guy, I appreciate your perspective but doomposting like this only puts other good men down.
If the woman you’re going for only cares if you’re super rich and a celebrity, guess what? She’s a waste of your time!!!
Go for women with good values who don’t care about what car you drive or if you look like their celebrity crush or not.
The average woman *is* very misandristic (thanks to horrible tiktok takes) but don’t let that get you down, good women *do* still exist.
Stay strong brother. 💪🏾
Exactly.
@@yogun1922 The single, attractive women who don't care about a man having high wealth and status are a very tiny percentage of the population
@@basedbulgarian511 tiny percentage? Based on what statistic?
@@yogun1922thank you for your common sense. Men are the ones who say “if you’re not tall and successful and rich, don’t bother”. Women just take advantage of that mentality and men still keep trying to meet absurd standards. It’s so laughable
Appreciate the insights and honesty from us gents.
I go out and enjoy myself. Guess what happens? I get ignored.
I approach women, no shakey voice, give them a compliment and sometimes get the number and it leads to. . .wait for it. . . NOWHERE lol dating in today's climate is such a shit stew
Ok, I would like to know your age. The reason is I am 47 and women my age tend to do that less. I do have a suspicion that the younger generations are having a harder time with the dating scene.
@user-qv6sn9xy9k I'm 33, it's just a disaster trying to meet people rather it be in person or on apps. I recently had a woman approach me and just to poke jabs at me from my name, to the clothes I had on, the hair style I had all to at the end say I dont think you have anything to offer me. She's 40 with a 19yr old at the same bar I'm at but she made fun of me for being there.
@@bbyhulk21 Yes, key word: BAR!!! I have spent a lot of time sober in a bar because I moonlight as a bar cook. Women and men tend to get more mean when getting drunk. Try this, from now on in, only approach women in non drinking settings. Gas stations, in line at the store, parks, women out walking their dogs. Stay away from the bars.
@user-qv6sn9xy9k women have voiced all over the internet, on podcasts, and elsewhere they hate being approached at the gas station.
I tend to try to meet women anywhere I can, while I'm getting groceries, at the park or wherever. I just think the culture we live in currently is tough with some many people being "casual" and not trying to be date for real.
@@bbyhulk21 Thanks for the tip. I didn’t know gas stations were bad somehow. At the pump maybe. When I said gas station I was referring to when standing in line in the store part. Still, I didn’t know gas stations were hands off. Thanks.
Yes. At 22 I was 6'4" and I looked like the guy every girl thought she was looking for. I killed every encounter with my vibe. My friend was 5'8", weighed 250 pounds, and not in a good way. He was pizza faced with acne, but he would pick up every woman who would see me and slow down her day hoping that I would talk to her. The joke was that John had the personality that goes with my body.
"He doesn't make getting women a priority". K, well.... we might have a big problem because... deprioritize them? So most guys will just not do anything then. And then you'll complain about how pathetic men are, and don't have ambition, and don't care about the things you want them to care about. And you'll be like, "what is wrong with men?". Why aren't they trying? Oh... because it's not just that you want men to not be desperate, he has to just naturally have lots of amazing qualities, and none of it is supposed to have anything to do with women.
Imagine if women were actually trying to impress men. I mean... it might be a little annoying, but I bet a lot of guys would give her a chance. But no, men have to be perfect. I can't imagine how refreshing it would be if a woman approached me and was so nervous that she was like, "if this doesn't go well, it will ruin my day". I'd be like.... go on. Lol.
It is because women beg for attention. They don't want to find love, they just want to be appreciated because they smeared 10 tons of make up in their face in the morning. That is just the impression I get. It is not about love or companionship, just to get attention, and Jackpot if the guy with the money and the good looks gives them that attention
It is because women beg for attention. They don't want to find love, they just want to be appreciated because they smeared 10 tons of make up in their face in the morning. That is just the impression I get. It is not about love or companionship, just to get attention, and Jackpot if the guy with the money and the good looks gives them that attention
I think she could have expressed it in a more eloquent way--technically it is deprioritising because you don't make it your only, number one goal in the room. But I'd call it "being comfortable and unshaken if you're not walking home with a GF that day."
It's a HUGE turn off to obviously act and speak as if you needed to get a date on the spot.
It's sort of like negotiating. If you can walk away and be OK with it, that means you have leverage. You'll get further if people think you have leverage.
@@canto_v12 yeah sure, but there's still a conflict. It is a very strange and confusing thing to be told, the reason you don't get something, is because you want it too much.... also ... you don't put nearly as much effort in it, as you should, and need to.
Also Women: Why don’t men approach women anymore?
Imagine being stuck in a desert alone, no water. You bump into another human, and they say: "I have all the water you need to not die in the sun, but I will only ever give it to you if you behave exactly like I want you to behave, and I wont tell you what I want. You begin now."
The other human will only provide water to those who don't need water.
“How Can I Meet Her” - Everly Brothers
“Fine Her Finer” Frank Zappa
“I Don’t Wanna Hear It” Minor Threat
“5150” Van Halen
Learn. It’s always a 2 way street.
Unusual response😂Love Zappa
Uhh, no..... You DO have to be the tallest and the richest !!! And that's reality.
No you don't have to be either. It doesn't hurt but plenty of broke guys of average height get women.
As I’ve gotten older, and therefore gotten more used to being rejected over and over, I’ve learned to relax around women. However I absolutely cannot deprioritize women from my list of life goals, and sure enough they are at the top. Yes getting the girl is my ultimate goal and always has been. Why do you think men want to make tons of money and drive really nice cars? Because life sucks unless you actually get the girl you want!
I legitimately don’t care about getting a girl, they just represent headaches and problems, everything I do is for myself and not for anyone else
I love what she says about MGTOW guys. When they stop obsessing over women and work on themselves, all of a sudden they become more attractive and alluring to women. Women have always been drawn to what they are told that they are not supposed to have. Anything forbidden or taboo is gold to them. This is Reverse Psychology 101.
Interesting
When I was younger I never really understood why so many girls gravitated towards me without me putting in any effort. Only as I got older did I understand that I was just doing whatever I wanted and not caring and it drove them crazy. I feel bad for guys who are adults have not learned to not give a shit and do as they please. They are living with insecurities in who they are and need to get over them and enjoy themselves.
That's right. I have to learn doing my own thing. I am getting better.
Truth has been spoken.
This is the best video about this subject I have seen. This is better than the one about men have no courage. 😂
I'm anxious around women, but confident that my day will be much much better if I ignore all of them as much as I can. Professional and to the point interactions. Nothing more. Single - no mingle - no thank you.
I disagree full heartedly, if he feels that out of all the women, you are the one worth it, that isn't desperate, it's just nerves. Thinking every women wants you is a narcissist trait 💯
nope lol
@@Patrickt-fb5wj OK lol
Be careful on what you say about the anxious guy. That confident guy who assumes every woman likes him at one point was that anxious guy. The way to this desired confidence is through by taking anxious action. If rubbing a few women the wrong way is the price to pay, so be it. But a man has to start somewhere.
I’ve actually gotten a lot of numbers by going up to woman but I do look decently attractive
My biggest issue is I’m 5’5” though
Most woman in person don’t seem to care
They tend to care more on dating sites but only sometimes
I tend to not approach woman her are way taller than me
I’d say for advice
Don’t approach woman in groups
Don’t approach woman her look to be in a hurry
Have a decent haircut
Make sure you’re dressed decently
Brush your teeth
Cut your nails
Have a friendly looking expression
And make your intentions known early
Don’t talk to her for an hour than ask for her number
Make sure it’s a public place like a coffee shop
Barnes and noble is a great place
A lot of college aged girls and there’s usually a coffee shop in there
U guys have to realize
Like ya sometime you’ll get a fake number
Sometimes she’ll lie about having a bf
It is what it is
Just be genuine don’t try any stupid tricks
That is extremely good advice. Those are the exact same reasons why it is easy for me to hit on women. It is funny because I am only 5’7” but I am very muscular.
@@JosephKleppel see that’s the thing
Some characteristics can definitely help get u past the height standard
If I didn’t look decent doubt I’d ever get anybody
Plus I’m 35 and I still look pretty young
It took me decades of insecurity to learn something that I now tell my children and others that will listen. Here it is: "if you don't ask for the date, then it's already a NO". So go ahead and ask. It can only get better, but it won't get worse
It's not that at all...women just have stupid expectations...that no man can ever meet
Amen to this! Well said
As Dave Ramsey had said in his radio program: rich people do rich people stuff. Poor people do poor people stuff.
But that just makes me a hypocrite; I'm almost a 40-year-old virgin but I'm ACTING like I'm not. I'm trying to be something I'm NOT, right? But who said I needed to be desperate anyway? And who is calling me out for being fake?
Regardless, desperation is a state to simply avoid; better to not be than to be regardless of a sex life, or lack thereof.
That's right! Desperation is only a state of mind.
I'm nervous around people in general. So like... I guess I will die alone.
A lot of women tell guys to be confidence but a lot of women cant even define it. They also resent guys who struggle with it. And they also make excuses why they arent confident to approach guys. Sounds like entitlement
Yes, not all women are good at expressing their desires, but you can't change basic biology.
If you're excessively nervous, the girl or woman will likely feel weirded out. Even if they could express themselves well, you can't change how they feel.
💯💯💯 It’s simpler than most think. Powerful content.
if meeting someone is not to be your main goal in a room full of women, but to enjoy yourself. What are you then doing there? For me, even if I enjoy myself, I will always get nervous around a beautiful women. That is just how it is with me. I am also an introvert, so for me to freely talk to women without getting nervous is almost impossible.
For any ladies watching this and nodding your heads, all I'm gonna say is you're gonna want to fight your own chemistry on this one. The guy who approaches you with that supreme confidence? 90% chance he doesn't care about the outcome--or you. The one who's shaky or nervous? He cares what you think, and he's facing his fears for you. Those are major green flags.
Ofc you’d say that. It just sounds like defensiveness for guys who have no experience or confidence. It’s a common cope for guys who don’t get girls to build themselves up like they are this perfect personality nice guy and morally superior to everyone else. It’s an excuse so they can say the only reason why no girls want them is because women are bad or because people only want “bad boys” or looks. I understand your thinking, but it’s the problem. That kinda thinking is why so many women are disgusted by so many guys. It’s sad and it’s kinda pathetic. It’s like the “I didn’t want you anyways” or “nice guys always lose” crap that loser guys say when they get rejected. It’s cope.
Ladies are biologically wired to seek stability, and confidence is a sign of that.
The risk to her is great. If she dates a nervous guy, it's possible that he remains insecure for years and unable to grow in life. Biologically, women cannot afford to waste years on a guy who constantly second-guesses himself. They don't want to be the guy's mom.
I do concede that even if a guy is nervous at first, he deserves some chances to build his character. I was that nervous guy a long time ago but built up my confidence around girls in college. I'm fortunate that my GF was very communicative about what she wanted, and helped me grow in the right ways so that I don't fall back into my childhood insecurities. At some moments, she had every right and reason to dump me for being a bratty man-child.
This is 100% true. The less you care about attracting women and the more you care about you having a good time, and making that a reality, causes women to want to be around you.
Case in point I am going through the final stages of a divorce. I don’t want to get into a relationship right now. I just want to spend time with my kids and enjoy myself. The last thing I want is to get involved with a girl because my focus right now is on me and my healing process… so of course I have women coming up to flirt with me every time I am out with my kids having a great time.
Romance is overrated.
I’d argue you shouldn’t pay them any attention at all if you live in the west, and find lasting endeavors/pursuits in which to invest your time and passion. Too few are worth the effort or any of your attention.
That’s some high quality advice 🔥 🔥
It's true, and it means that desperation becomes a vicious cycle you cannot escape.
Look at every divorce nightmare, every guy who's in court-ordered financial servitude to some woman he now can't stand or who are still in a miserable marriage where it's primarily her fault and remember these were all guys who got the girl and his life is nothing but worse because of it. If a woman rejects you there's a very strong likelihood she's doing you a favor.
I wish it were that easy. I can be plenty confident around women half my age because I'm not trying to date them. Although I might find them attractive, I expect most of them to be creeped out at a man old enough to be their dad tryingb to ask them out, but the strange thing is that I often find myself able to compliment them without getting nervous or seeming desperate. It is because I don't care if they are interested in me or not. I once told a girl that she looked like a cuter, younger version of Tina Fey. That put a big smile on her face, the good kind.
With the women I seek a relationship with, though, I get nervous. I got that way with a beautiful, caring Vietnamese woman I'm interested in.
I have seen men who are short,tubby,bald,not so rich be playboys. Why? Absolute self confidence and sense of humor. She is right about desperation.
True, its like a switch. I definitely realize the less i try the more luck i have
Yeah
Good advice love it 🥰I’m not looking for a relationship it’s nice to say hi but it would be a distraction at the moment I’m going to go and have fun anyway😂
OF= Reek of desperation
thank you smart Lady, the world needs to know!!
Confidence can also be a sign he is going to pump and dump. There is no stake in the women's answer. If she says no, he moves to the next woman. There is also men that are confident with woman but there is that one woman he doesn't want to mess up. And woman wonder why they end up with fuckbois.
Confidence is not the same as pompousness.
very well said
This is very true and has worked for me my entire life. One thing that should be said though, is that the man has to truly believe this. Women will sense a pretended as fast as they will an insecure, desperate man.
True and clearly delivered. Good job you Billie Rae.
This is 100% correct and i used to work as a pua so i testes this and other ways 100s of times.
I've literally had my teeth kicked out of my face and am awaiting surgery for implants and still get laid. I've also seen these dudes she's describing and it's entirely true.
I only get a little nervous around women I actually like. It’s okay to feel this sometimes we don’t have to be perfect
This same advice applies to women when pursuing a man. ❤❤ im listening!!
That guy feels that way because he gets all the women. Success breeds success. Failure breeds failure
Totally true. But even knowing it to be true, many young men wont be able to act on it.
Glad there are women like you since you're one of the few ladies that speaks the truth and don't put men down to "empower" women by telling them to be manipulative and telling men they have to do more for less
being confident doesn't matter if the girl you're approaching isn't into you from the start, I simply can't count the times when I was treated like an invisible man while trying to simply greet a girl
Solid advice. This is what I do!
Wow, what an instruction. No shit, if you see rejection your whole life, you cant just switch it off like that, what do you think how it works!? Yes, you are desperate, yes you try although you have nearly zero hope that things might work out. You still try and fail and cry and get up to achieve something, the one and only thing you ever wanted in life. Love, a partner, intimicy.
It’s weakness. Be a man. So many guys now behave like whiny, desperate, overly emotional little boys. Then they wonder why women don’t want them 😂
But...when you fall in love, the one you love becomes EVERYHING to you. This is a near universal phenomena, so how does confidence overcome desperation (for that person) in that situation?
Women are not capable of love.
The one who is more detached from the outcome of the conversation is the most attractive.
Thanks!
Who would win between tall, handsome awkward man vs short, average confident man?
the one with a big bank account 🎉🫥
"If you put her on a pedestal she doesn't have any other choice than look down"
THIS!!!