Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: BLOOD BEAT
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024
- What happens when a French guy decides to make a horror movie in Wisconsin? You get a killer ghost samurai ruining Christmas, that's what! It's the 1982 cult horror film "Blood Beat"!
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It's not often a movie about a murderous samurai ghost in Wisconsin manages to be even weirder than you think it'd be!
You should do Event Horizon next!
Next do army of darkness
🤘😜🤘
Nice
If he is a ghost samurai then why stab him in the chest why not just get him with a ghost buster Weapon
The ghost samurai makes sense when you learn that apparently the director just found the armor in a store and just went “Yes, that is our killer!”
With all the drugs he was on (allegedly) he probably thought it _was_ the killer and that he was filming a documentary.
Me: Nothing about this movie makes sense.
Brandon: The director admits that he was on drugs at the time.
Me: Everything about this movie makes sense.
Underrated comment
My thoughts exactly :=)
Artistic vision🤪
Ghost samurai? Wisconsin? French director? Christmas movie? Am I having another fever dream?
I was thinking the same thing!!
"I want a soundtrack that sounds like Phantasm, but make it suck so they won't think we stole it."
Love the name. Burt Rules
I listened several times and did not find your quotation in the video. It would be helpful if you provided attribution for your quotation. Otherwise, I am inclined to believe that you remembered something wrong.
@@michaelerickson985 That's because I'm not quoting the video. I'm making a fake "quote" from the director. It's a joke.
@@dr.burtgummerfan439 Bravo.That actually made me laugh out loud.Thanks.
I read it in Brandon's voice in my mind.
All this movie needed was four kids and a dog in a hippie panel van to solve the mystery of the Wisconsin Ghost Samurai.
To be fair, the concept of a slasher film where the killer is a suit of possessed samurai armor is a good one.
And an original idea too, unless there's another movie made earlier with the same batshit crazy premise.
Oh the concept is good, it's just the execution was....well, you saw the review.
You can watch ninja 3
@@truefanforum3273 The concept committed seppuku💀
@@frankgesuele6298 Good one 😁
Only movie I know of that combines deer hunting, art, classical music, and an ancient samurai sex curse.
Best kind of Christmas movie there is
Samurai sex curse would be a cool band name.
@@godofzombi Christmas ghost samari sex curse
Trippy Drug Christmas ghost samurai Sex curse
it even looks like some part of Jojo bizarre adventure
Don't know whats crazier: the entire premise of the film or the fact it got a Blu Ray release
My thoughts exactly!😛
Thank you vinegar syndrome
Not going to lie, O Fortuna makes everything better.
Yes, totally :=)
So it makes wire based abortions better? I find it odd that you tried that in the first place, but also odd that you think its made even better with that. But for the most part I try not to judge humans.. Mostly because I have yet to figure out what a normal human is really.
@@UndyingZombie No such thing as a 'normal' human in my opinion :=)
@@UndyingZombie I'd never considered that particular application, but yes, even that.
I wish a killer samurai would interrupt my awkward Christmas family reunions.
Oh you know it's the early 80s when you see a flying can of Tab.
?
@The Great SteveO no idea what you are talking about
@The Great SteveO I have never heard of Tab soda in my life. And apparently it is pink-colored and nasty…?
@The Great SteveO Gotcha.
If they want it to be diet they might as well not put _anything_ sweet in it, fake or real or otherwise….
Tab isn’t that good
I busted my guts to the line "they died as they lived, with dirty wet socks on" 😆😆😆😆😆
These samurai ghosts just don't appreciate what Christmas means to the folks in Wisconsin.
Christmas is sacred as much as deer hunting season
I am the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come! OoooooooO!
@@Megatron_95 I have been to a few states whose inhabitants would agree with that statement.
@@Megatron_95 As someone living in rural, northern Missouri, I can safely say scads of people around here would agree with that.
It's interesting when a French director makes an American movie only for it to be weird. Just look at The Fifth Element and Alien Resurrection.
I'd rather not look at Alien Resurrection.
After insisting Ripley had to die in the third film, Weaver said the reason she came back for number four was, _"They offered me a truck load of money."_
It shows, and I kinda like it.
@@skylx0812 She was being honest about it.
@@skylx0812 That's not all I hated about that movie.
Or a Japanese director makes a movie set in France. I can't remember the name of it, but a director from Japan made a movie about a wife and mom in an open marriage (because France) who fucks a chimp.
I did NOT make that up! MovieBob talked about it on one of his "In Bob We Trust" videos, and I'm cursed with this knowledge!
Fun fact: The emblem on the Samurai's armor is based on the Oda Clan's Sashimono (Family Crest), as in Oda Nobunaga's clan, but there is an alteration. Oda's Sashimono has five petals whereas the armor in the film only has four.
Yes and no, I think. The Kamon (家紋) / family crest here is the original form called Mokkou (木瓜/もっこう), which is said to be a view of Uri/melon or bird's nest cut sideway. It has many variations, like the ones elongated up and downward, with circle around, multiple in numbers, or more petals like Oda Family's you mentioned.
@@atsukorichards1675 That's a good way to look at it too. I just think they saw the Oda crest and made a variation of it. But your explaination is valid too.
When I watched this movie last year on Christmas (recommended by Jay from RLM), I had subtitles on since I couldn't understand what anyone was saying. But that led me to see that the closed captioning describes all the 'magical' sounds as [Mystical Boinging]
That's also a good descriptor for Tantric sex.
Jay loves him some artsy-fartsy stuff.
@@graemesmith6721 Yeah, Josh is really into it too.
I'd swear, Ted's "psychic focus face" is Dragon's Lair's Dirk the Daring brought to life.
That waterbed the old couple are on, though . . . that's a blast from the past.
Wow, between this and the equally explotiative and art-film-like "the House Where Evil Dwells", 1982 was a great year for horror films featuring killer samurai, weird psychic connections, and trippy visuals. Thanks for another out-there find, Brandon.
Add in Ninja III: The Domination and ya got a fun little trio.
I'm surprised Brandon hasn't done that one, yet.
@@jdnaz1288 So am I, it's fascinating and bloody.
Sad thing is, I would probably love a movie about people with psychic powers battling an evil supernatural samurai, if it was well made and had good story. (Or at least a gloriously stupid story.) Like, this should have been something along the lines of Big Trouble in little China.
Having read the description of the movie, I think it would’ve worked better if instead of it being with the whole samurai set, it could’ve been just the sword that belonged to a Japanese soldier in WW 2 and is used by the soldier’s spirit to possess anyone who touches it.
Tragically gunned down due to wearing big-ass armour and unable to take cover at Okinawa.
Those swords were usually passed down from one generation to the next, so the armor would make sense.
"Deranged Packer fan or a murderous wheel of cheese." Don't laugh. We have Rubber.
Same thing, really.
Oh shit, _"JILLing_ off"! I _JUST_ got that!
When I heard "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana, I thought you had added it in for laughs, then it turns out it's actually in the film! Then the "In the Name of the King" joke
if only the movie ends with Santa fighting the samurai thus fits the theme of a Christmas movie.
That idea alone would warrant an entirely separate movie.
I live in WI (an AK transplant, though), and your jabs at the 'don'cha know' are 100% accurate. Y'know.
Ah, so you to got lost on the way to Canada and can't find the way out. As opposed to myself, the native cheese homunculi of the great state.
@@Lazysupermutant No, my father is from here. I'm just a half-eskimo lost in the midwest, lol
To use a phrase from the Red Letter Guys, I feel like that Samurai armor was a case of "Shooting the Rodeo".
I actually saw that knife channel live when that happened. My son and I were watching it, laughing at the cheap garbage knives, when the thing broke. It actually goes on for a while with the guy ending up going to the hospital. His co-workers actually didn’t seem to care a whole lot about him, lol.
So it's "Beyond the Black Rainbow" but with flannel instead of neon?
When you try add a mother-daughter scanner's fight to spice up your movie but you already used up your synth music budget on the moody outdoor shots.
I laughed harder than I had anticipated on that Wisconsin deadites impression.
Me too! The highlight of the video for me! :=)
Was Gary killed by a flying can of Tab? C'mon, that's funny.
Probably healthier than drinking it.
Turns out the TAB had nothing to do with the ghost samurai. Some shadowy dude wearing brown rags and a mayoral sash just yeeted it through the window.
"Jilling off"? Holy crap. I'm going to be using that ALL the time.
😂
This is one of the funniest videos you've ever done! Even the scenes where nothing was going on made me laugh!
I should become a patron so I can recommend the 1999 Beowulf starring Christopher Lambert. Seriously, Brandon, you need to review that film.
This is probably the greenest Christmas I've ever seen in Wisconsin, and I used to visit my Wisconsin relatives for Christmas all the time as a kid!
"Look, I paid way too much for this damn samurai getup at an estate auction. Is there any way I can write it off on my taxes?"
"Mais Oui, Monsieur! I have ze wonderful idea! " 'Ere, have ze bump while I explain!"
And so careers were launched. In something other than filmmaking, judging from IMDB.
Viewers to the director: "So what is this movie about?"
Director: "Because I got high."
Viewers: "Makes TOTAL sense!"
Pretty sweet costume!
Hey Cougar
@@gojidapro5452 hello
@@CougarMacDowall hey cougar it's nice to see you
Considering that Wisconsins name comes from a french corruption of a native word for red granite, it makes sense that a french director could so easily depict Wisconsin
I have PLENTY of movie review options, but when i do... Brandon Tenold's Cult Movie Reviews is where its at!
When i watch your reviews I feel like i.m a kid again in the living room in front of a unnecessarily huge Television set on a Saturday Morning......just chillin' and riffin'.
I may never see you or Autopilots in person but Thank You for consistently bringing a smile to my face and all the other fans across the globe as well.
Live. Love. Be. Believe.
I work at a military antique store in Australia we have lots of samurai armour and I am very impressed with the armour in this movie they did a good job on that front
I work out of a trailer in Illinois we have a boss who wares camouflage all the time. The camo they used here is outdated. I was unimpressed.
Every time I see anything to do with Wisconsin, I always think of that moment in *Cannibal: The Musical*
Have to say that I’m new to the channel. So far, I’m not disappointed!
Thanks for pointing out obscure titles like this. It’s always great to get turned on to films I’ve never heard of, regardless of how weird and out there they are.
Oh you should delve into all the great content
It's informative too. His review of the last shark taught me that sharks often carry dynamite, in case they can't reach someone on a makeshift raft.
@@rgeiler7627 I'm dead! XD
@Enigma 7
Thanks! I Definitely will. Have seen a few, working my way through the catalog.
@R Geiler
Thanks, good to know!
14:00-Wisconsin Brian Blessed....I nearly ruined my keyboard by drinking at that moment...thankfully, I didn't, but coughed my ass off! Thanks Brandon!
Fargo Deadites are my new favorite thing.
"You're going to join us! .. Dontcha Know??" -- Canadian Deadites. 🤣🤘👍
Jesus. You can tell that the acting is really bad when Brandon ripping on the movie has a far superior line delivery than anyone in it.
By now he has more experience behind the camera than the crew of this movie combined...
@@user-zh4vo1kw1z, and that's why he should be making his own movies, IMHO (at least he's doing a documentary series on horror movies and horror movie makers/actors/writers/producers.)
This feels like there was a game where you get $25 and a half hour in a flea market, then you drop acid and have to make a movie based on whatever weird shit you bought.
That's actually a pretty good description of this movie - If Don Dohler was trying to make a Jean Luc-Godard esque movie.
Pretty sure I've watched over 10hrs of your reviews, this weekend. I'm still barely seeing repeats on the "suggested videos" list. For one dude, you get an unbelievable amount of production done and done well. I am quite impressed.
It's almost as if they could sense the dark side within each other during that eye contacts scene
One of my favorite movies to share to others. I actually riffed it last year because I wanted to share some movies from Wisconsin. Nice to see you cover this, man.
Let me guess Toho blocked Mothra vs Godzilla 1964?
@Limède darn it, I hope Brandon reuploads Mothra vs Godzilla 1964
@Limède i know i don’t like copyright © crap they always block Because they say we’re stealing, it’s getting really annoying
Well, there went my WTC comment, again. I commented that I found it interesting that the "Twins" were featured in a film the year the plans to build the Twin Towers were announced, 1964.
You can tell this Frenchman didn't know anything about hunting in Wisconsin, no orange on those hunters.
Also not the worst film I have seen made in Wisconsin.
Orange during hunt season is a state color... wtf man
Did the worst one involve a spider Volkswagen?
I watched this movie on Shudder and the only thought during the whole thing I had was "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
"Murderous Cheese Wheels" Alright, time to work on a script. Lol
Just as long as you don't ruin the concept like "Rubber" did.
@@ConstantineFurman Definitely would be more of an "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" type movie, if I was REALLY doing it.
Allies of the Killer Tomatoes?
@@donaldpetkus1637 Going into the third act, it looked like the Cheese and Tomatoes were about to lose. But, at the last second, the Bacon and Lettuce swooped in to save the -tasty burger- day.
In the scene with their psychic powers the kids look like someone shoved something up their backsides and they desperatly try to press it out again...
The true horror was that no one got a free Menards bucket of zucchini, or even a box of glazed donuts from Kwik Trip. Ope, and Gary forgot to tell that cop to his folks that he says hi.
Oh, it's Bishamon's forgotten sister. He's the samurai from Dark Stalkers.
I never heard of this movie before. Upon seeing the title card I thought that this was the 1982 film, The House Where Evil Dwells, but with an alternate title.
Maybe cuz December still months away and none of us have that kind of patience anymore
This movie sounds like it’s about a a rough hematologist working the mean streets of the big city.
"There are a Thousand Screenplays in the Naked City... and none of them are good."
That is inaccurate. If you watch the video, you will see that the actual film neither features a hematologist nor is set in a big city. You may want to watch the review again, so that you can see that for yourself.
@@michaelerickson985 Did my joke go over your head, or are you deliberately messing with me?
This is legitimately one of my favorite movies, and the fact that you held up a bluray at the end shocked the hell out of me.
I've owned the VHS for years, so it's kinda surreal to see it in such "high quality", and to actually make out some of the dialog the samurai ghost is saying at the end. Still doesn't make a lick of sense though. Seriously why does she get oatmeal on her face when she dies?
Just laying down for a nap and needed something to watch. Gotta love it.
I was going to make a "super human samurai" reference but I straight the hell lost it at the Deadites with the hoozier accent. 😂😂😂
"I'll swoller yer soul, dontcha know." 😂💀😂
Thing is I do know there is a campy style version of the concept of Ghost Samurai hacking up a town in rural America. Much better than this, even if I can't remember the name of it.
Love the Frank Miller riff, big fan of that graphic novel
Pretty sure this is the closest we'll get to a Brandon & RLM Best of Worst team up...I'll be glad if I'm wrong though xD
The most baffling thing about this movie to me is that someone, somewhere felt it deserved a Blu-Ray release.
I stand by all my decisions as CEO of Franco-Wisconsin Productions.
Yes and I am forever grateful.
I wonder if it was vinegar syndrome who put it out on Blu Ray
I dont know why but the film has a vib similar to Evangelion... the effects, the crazy characters, the plot holes everywhere... its like an Explotation Evangelion but without the Evas... 🤦♂️ also, great video as always Brandon! 😀🤘
Wisconsin, that's where I'm from. Now is this better than the pit? Doubt it.
Frank MIller's Ronin is a great book.
As a french, I admit I am genuinely amused by that movie. At least the killer is memorable in appearance^^
Just the way I like my early '80s weird artsy slasher movies, incomprehensible.
Good ta see a new video uploaded, always find these interesting. Any chance you can do Night of the Demons (Ed Furlong version) . That one would bring great fodder for the video and your channel. Cheers.
Not going to lie, I would watch a movie about a murderous wheel of cheese.
With or without Wallace and Gromit?
Even before you mentioned the tone, I was getting really sharp Tobaxxo/Black Moth Super Rainbow vibes from this movie, like someone brought one of those songs to life or something. If someone had said "Lick the witch" at some point, I wouldn't have batted an eye.
I agree 100%
This is so painfully 80's
4:26 Well of course the cinematography of this movie is going artsy, the director of this movie is French.
Art is their lifestyle after all.
If you really want a trippy horror movie to review, do the Japanese movie Hausu
oh shit, this one is insane :D let's see what the snarky canadian dude has to say about this abomination :D
Well, "WTF did I just watch?" might be what they were going for, wouldn't be the first...
3:58
Go Packers!
See this is how you make live action anime in America you have a crazy frenchie do it
Next he should do the live-action version of DBZ
Please review the Toxic Avenger
"Oh boy, that was... Something."
- The catch phrase for this TH-cam channel.
Joan Baez in a showdown with Yojimbo's ghost, in a movie scored by a low rent Tangerine Dream.
I'm guessing the director already owned the samurai costume and wanted to use it in a movie. However, since he didn't have the budget to use it in any context that would make sense, he contrived this weak supernatural-slasher plot around it.
I actually laughed loudly at "you spilt the ketchup you dumb bitch" 😂😂
I can't with this face at 16:26.
Let’s be honest, Wisconsin is South Canada.
Oh hey look, new review. Two minutes in an mentions it was filmed in my home state. Glued to this review
Ghost samurai in Wisconsin, wouldn't a ghost viking make more sense?
Remember watching this as a kid in the early 80s about two days after watching Shogun Assassin and The Burning was highly anticipated for this by looking at its vhs cover here in the UK..
I was hugely disappointed lol
I loved the Minnesotan/Candian accented Deadite joke. We need more excuses for you to do that accent.
Dude, that window jump was actually kind of crazy.
It is a "what do we have movie?" Movie. We got hunting gear, paint & easel, and samurai stuff. Lets make a movie!
A film made in Wisconsin? Bloody hell, I didn't know that and I am from the cheese head state
Me too...