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Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ส.ค. 2021
  • I tackle the crazy 80's action movie "Never Too Young To Die", where secret agent John Stamos battles gender-bending supervillain Gene Simmons!
    Buy this movie on Amazon: amzn.to/3jNukgb
    --------------------­--------
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ความคิดเห็น • 1K

  • @TheBrandonTenold
    @TheBrandonTenold  3 ปีที่แล้ว +704

    Anyone else kinda wish this HAD become a series, but with John Stamos taking on a different rock star supervillain each movie?

    • @ajbahlam
      @ajbahlam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Please review some HongKong cult movies

    • @mathieuleader8601
      @mathieuleader8601 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      A live-action venture brothers this would be

    • @rgeiler7627
      @rgeiler7627 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      As odd as that seems, that does seem like a solid foundation for some b movie gold.

    • @26th_Primarch
      @26th_Primarch 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      HELL YES!!!

    • @pyrodiscoflash6115
      @pyrodiscoflash6115 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Touring Dive Bar's in Run Down Towns a Carnival atmosphere of the Forgotten Souls always Around Rocking the Town to the Ground, With B Movie Atmosphere so thick it's a Cult Flick

  • @skeevy_nyx
    @skeevy_nyx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    "You're only half of each--I'm a whole man--"
    -CANCELLED!-
    That got me, I laughed out loud for a while 😂

    • @jaysonraphaelmurdock8812
      @jaysonraphaelmurdock8812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      My favorite line was " hey back off Dee Snider!" 😂😂😂😂

    • @ConstantineFurman
      @ConstantineFurman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It got me too.

    • @baileybecker5583
      @baileybecker5583 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Funny, but also way too true.

    • @rorylumley4727
      @rorylumley4727 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      john stamos will be so cancelled that he gets a multi million netflix contract.

    • @Kevinacharles
      @Kevinacharles 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That was hilarious. 😂

  • @HaleysTusk
    @HaleysTusk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    I thought so, Had to check Google, Peter Kwong,"Cliff", Stamos' Asian friend, was in John Carpenter's "Big Trouble in Little China" as "Rain" one of the three elements LOL

    • @rydastyle9875
      @rydastyle9875 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wow, didn't recognize that

    • @truefanforum3273
      @truefanforum3273 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Good catch!

    • @thedanksavatron7782
      @thedanksavatron7782 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm glad I wasn't the only one to notice that! 🍻

    • @TheRealNormanBates
      @TheRealNormanBates 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rain was the one with the swords, right?

    • @mrgonzale0978
      @mrgonzale0978 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@TheRealNormanBates he was the one with the metal claws

  • @pedrokatcradle
    @pedrokatcradle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    Fun fact: aunt beckie used footage from the trampoline scene in her daughters college admission video.

    • @fslayer1290
      @fslayer1290 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      😂🤣😂 Oh Crap! You won!

    • @danielseelye6005
      @danielseelye6005 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      +1 internet to you, good sir. 👍

    • @pedrokatcradle
      @pedrokatcradle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@danielseelye6005 alright, i'll take it and put it into boosting my meme game, and just to tie into what the previous person said:
      Dad: aRe yUo WinNInG SoN?

    • @memoriesofmychildhood7297
      @memoriesofmychildhood7297 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Funny.

    • @pedrokatcradle
      @pedrokatcradle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What splits my side apart from getting reminded of this ever so often is also that no one cares to correct me. She had boys (twins) in the show and i said daughters.😂😂😂😂 it was my mistake but fits better with the reference, I guess we aren't looking for perfect just worth it.💚

  • @spiderlime
    @spiderlime 3 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    my sister is a simmons fan. she had no idea such a movie exists. as much as i love her i couldn't resist the temptation of innocently sharing this review with her. innocently, i tell you.

    • @AlcoholicBoredom
      @AlcoholicBoredom 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Brandon should do Runaway with Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons.

    • @michaelvanhouten4498
      @michaelvanhouten4498 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha. what was her reaction?

    • @EthalaRide
      @EthalaRide 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I gotta know what she thinks of this!

    • @spiderlime
      @spiderlime 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@michaelvanhouten4498 she's a real sport. apparently she was amused...

    • @michaelvanhouten4498
      @michaelvanhouten4498 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@spiderlime Ha. cool.

  • @SpookyNero
    @SpookyNero 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    "I'm a whole man." Truly one of your best, Brandon.

  • @raym1477
    @raym1477 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Fun fact: the outfit that Gene performs in at the club is the same outfit that Lynda Carter wore in a TV special singing a KISS song.

  • @kultur-vultur
    @kultur-vultur 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    Funny Gene Simmons didn't like his acting, its what made the movie period.

  • @OverlordOfCats
    @OverlordOfCats 3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Now I know where Kingsman got the gadget umbrella from

    • @graemesmith6721
      @graemesmith6721 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      No, Burgess Meredith's Penguin in the 1960s Batman TV show had one 20 years earlier.

  • @fangjokerLS
    @fangjokerLS 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Shocking that Gene Simmons plays a pretty hammy Lex Luthor in RUNAWAY, and apparently decided he didn't go far enough there, so here's Ragnar.
    Kinda feel bad we never got Ragnar vs. Divine now. That movie would certainly not be boring.

    • @davidlionheart2438
      @davidlionheart2438 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Divine would've eaten like a fresh dog turd.

  • @Wungolioth
    @Wungolioth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    That scene with Gene Simmons snatching the flowers and cackling maniacally had me and my brother rolling on the floor laughing our asses off(this was pre-internet, so I'm spelling that shit out), we had to have worn out that part of the videotape before we had to return it.

    • @sean5558
      @sean5558 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That was my favorite part I jsut thought about how I wish that was ringtone

  • @colbyjones7816
    @colbyjones7816 3 ปีที่แล้ว +188

    22:02 If anyone got the chance to meet Gene “The Demon” Simmons today, and told him that they liked or even loved him in this movie, do you think he’d be pissed that someone brought it up, or be flattered that someone appreciated his acting skills?
    Because I honestly really liked his performance; it really does remind me of Tim Curry’s Dr. Frankenfurter.

    • @gaahlmccartney
      @gaahlmccartney 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Most likely, everyone I know who’s met him says he loves tell stories about obscure things that have been brought up to him, kiss or otherwise

    • @theblocksays
      @theblocksays 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@gaahlmccartney What horrified me was realizing that was the same showgirl number Lynda Carter wore in this performance: th-cam.com/video/fHnBc8OcjyA/w-d-xo.html

    • @nicholashodges201
      @nicholashodges201 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      He's like Alice Cooper, he *refuses* to appear in anything resembling a "good" movie and will over-act for a ride to the set. For Alice it's the burlesque nature/aesthetic & Gene it's the comic book schlock.
      TLDR: He probably wouldn't be to upset and suggest you watch "Detroit Metal City" next

    • @kyleellis9177
      @kyleellis9177 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@nicholashodges201 He knows he's not a real actor and so wont be in a "real" movie where he can seriously be criticised. No one watches a movie to see him act, we go to see him be over the top.

    • @och70
      @och70 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      He'd probably charge you $50 for the conversation and also try to sell you some KISS merch..

  • @vustvaleo8068
    @vustvaleo8068 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Gene Simmons having the fun of his life but said he sucked at it, classic Gene Simmons.

  • @wstine79
    @wstine79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    What perfect timing. A Brandon Tenold video uploaded on Friday the 13th.

    • @royshaheer
      @royshaheer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just good to know that

  • @AgentofLADON
    @AgentofLADON 3 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    For some reason this film seems like it'd make one heck of an old school arcade beat em up. You have your choice of gymnastic guy, spy lady and gadget guy. Punch your way through bikers and barbarians and a ridonkulous boss fight who will probably eat through your extra lives and have some memeworthy in game dialogue.

    • @shawdawg3675
      @shawdawg3675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It almost reminds me of Guardians of the Hood, the "sequel" to Pit Fighter

    • @theblocksays
      @theblocksays 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Hell check out Violent Storm, it's practically an over the top video game equivalent. Only the final boss is some kind of boy who turns into a Frankenstein's monster DBZ baddie! th-cam.com/video/C36A1l5LMuo/w-d-xo.html

    • @louisduarte8763
      @louisduarte8763 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      "Are YOU a bad enough dude to save LA from Hermaphrodite Gene Simmons?!"

    • @AgentofLADON
      @AgentofLADON 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@louisduarte8763 "HA.HA.HA.Welcome to Die! Stamos" Any indie developers or modders want to get on this?

    • @michaelvanhouten4498
      @michaelvanhouten4498 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Shiiit. I'd play that! XD

  • @hobmonger5275
    @hobmonger5275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    If “ Gymkata” and “Rocky Horror” had cloned an offspring.

    • @KyleRobots
      @KyleRobots 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ...but maybe there was a fly in the cloner or something.

  • @chrismaynard8600
    @chrismaynard8600 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    How is this the first I've heard of this film, it looks glorious.

  • @Marsyas01
    @Marsyas01 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    "And if you ever wanted to see Gene Simmons in a cone bra..."
    BOY HAVE I!
    You get me the nicest things, Brandon.

  • @the_once-and-future_king.
    @the_once-and-future_king. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    We need a camp-off between Gene Simmonds and Tim Curry.

    • @institutokleos
      @institutokleos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes!!!!

    • @kyleellis9177
      @kyleellis9177 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Tim Curry wins on campy, Gene Simmons wins on bombastic over the toppness.

    • @jaysonraphaelmurdock8812
      @jaysonraphaelmurdock8812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The world couldn't handle that

    • @AverageAwesomeDude
      @AverageAwesomeDude 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Seems risky, all that concentrated camp could end up causing all of humanity to start living in tents again

    • @SuperSwordman1
      @SuperSwordman1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AverageAwesomeDude what were to happen if we some got classic Jim Carrey and Robin Williams in on that?

  • @charlesbennett7484
    @charlesbennett7484 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    If they ever did make a sequel to this, they could have called it "Still Too Young To Die. "

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually, the sequel is called “Bonds That Break, Ties That Bind”. While I think that needs work, it does accurately represent what happens, the various relationships that get forged AND shattered during the movie. Btw, people are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

  • @JeffreyDeCristofaro
    @JeffreyDeCristofaro 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Gene Simmons, once-007 George Lazenby, Vanity, freaking Freddy Krueger himself... I still find it hard to believe that I didn't even stumble on this one by accident let alone watch any YT review of it until now!!! I sure hope they create a pilot for a spinoff, because even if the resulting series only lasted one season, I would still find it far more intriguing than a reboot of HAWAII FIVE-0!!!

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

    • @paxhumana2015
      @paxhumana2015 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I find it far more inspiring when you get shocked to death after pissing on an electric fence instead.

  • @akanesaotome5924
    @akanesaotome5924 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I think we know now why uncle Jesse didn't talk much about his past...

    • @pirateraider1708
      @pirateraider1708 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I guess he couldn't figure it out either. XD

  • @demh7823
    @demh7823 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Since Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed are a couple, I think I may host a double feature of "Never Too Young to Die" and "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death".

    • @dylanbacklund7655
      @dylanbacklund7655 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bill Maher's best movie lol

    • @AverageAwesomeDude
      @AverageAwesomeDude 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      There’s a movie called “cannibal women in the avocado jungle of death” that’s kinda amazing

    • @demh7823
      @demh7823 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AverageAwesomeDude Yep. And the movie is just as ridiculous as the title.

    • @nerdiestmurdoch887
      @nerdiestmurdoch887 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I just found the Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death… it was my drunk watch party movie last month. Good times…

  • @HALO-2304
    @HALO-2304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Them: "Man, things were so much better in the 80's!"
    Me: "Hold on there, corn pop."

    • @oceanberserker
      @oceanberserker 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They're not wrong, you know.

    • @HALO-2304
      @HALO-2304 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@oceanberserker Only mostly.

    • @ComicGladiator
      @ComicGladiator 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@HALO-2304 Even 80's crap had a certain charm, modern bad movies have no soul.

    • @Desslar
      @Desslar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You act like this movie doesn’t support that statement.

  • @opoderosochofer9862
    @opoderosochofer9862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    This movie is the SPIDERMAN FAR FROM HOME of the 80's: a high school hero with gadgets inherited from a father figure has an asian guy friend, dates an afro american chick and fights a strange villain (ok, Gene Simmons is stranger than Mysterio)

    • @vitorafmonteiro
      @vitorafmonteiro 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Actually surprised how well that comparison works out.

    • @Crabomax
      @Crabomax 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ah ah!

  • @scotthewitt258
    @scotthewitt258 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    George Lazenby actually also appeared as an uncredited James Bond in "Return of the Man From U.N.C.L.E."

    • @ConstantineFurman
      @ConstantineFurman 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Doesn't the opening credits say something like "And George Lazenby as J.B."?

    • @robertodell9193
      @robertodell9193 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ConstantineFurman I think his license plate reads "JB OO7" or something close to that.

    • @henrykujawa4427
      @henrykujawa4427 ปีที่แล้ว

      YEP. That year, George Lazenby, Roger Moore AND Sean Connery all appeared as Bond! (All they needed was Barry Nelson to make a cameo in the casino scene...)

  • @scottmefford6917
    @scottmefford6917 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Thanks for the obscure KISS reveal. I'd no idea that Vinny Vincent existed, the Ankh face paint is BADASS.

  • @Vampiro60181
    @Vampiro60181 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Loved finding out about this movie. Apparently Stargrove was able to kick ass because of the coin scene you sadly left out. Something about his dad psychically transferring his abilities to his offspring.

    • @dbsommers1
      @dbsommers1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That just makes it wilder.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks, but I'm not sure that's better than no explanation at all, in terms of making sense. It does sound like another wonderful level of crazy, though; the one thing this movie was missing was the Force.

  • @DakoGuyver
    @DakoGuyver 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    LOL The music choices made less sense than the movie did. Also from what little we did see it looked like Gene OWNED that role. I think the wild tone whiplash is what kept this from being grade A cult movie.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I would think the whiplash might make it a grade A cult movie. Not like "The Room" was exactly meticulous about tone.
      You're not kidding about the music choices. Visual: "Stargrove attempting to murder a punk with a shotgun". Audio: "Upbeat training montage". Thanks, movie, but I'm not sure I want to feel chipper and hopeful about somebody's brains getting blown-out.

  • @sanitarium_64
    @sanitarium_64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    BCM's have managed to stay consistently good throughout the years. Other TH-camrs have come and left my subscriptions, but Brandon stays golden even as all the others rust away.

    • @craigh5236
      @craigh5236 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Brandon deserves 10x more subs than he has.

    • @frourn213
      @frourn213 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I still find myself going back and watching his Doug movies. He really has stayed continent.

    • @sanitarium_64
      @sanitarium_64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@craigh5236 He does, but there's a quality to staying niche and not having to appeal to the broader audiences. Nostalgia Critic comes to mind.

    • @nicholashodges201
      @nicholashodges201 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He also manages to avoid the political BS that's ruining the channels that review newer stuff.
      Fortunately there's a near limitless supply of old crappy movies to subject him to

    • @nicholashodges201
      @nicholashodges201 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sanitarium_64 He can do both. Just share his channel. The ones who like it will stay, the ones who don't will GTFO.
      So I guess he just needs to keep clacking along, so we can expand the audience...

  • @davidmkohl1984
    @davidmkohl1984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I remember seeing this as a kid, thought it might have been a fever dream.

  • @kcjc
    @kcjc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Growing up in a family of Kiss fans the “it takes a man like me” bit is randomly quoted in my house lol.
    Also the costume he wears on stage then is the same one Lynda Carter wore when she sang a Kiss song on 1980 tv special.

    • @raym1477
      @raym1477 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      came here to say that!

    • @redkitten2521
      @redkitten2521 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And then he recycled the lyrics that follow “Got no manners and I’m not too clean, but I know what I like if you know what I mean” for the song *Spit* on the highly underrated *Revenge* album. Which makes me highly suspicious that he wrote all his own stuff for this scene.

    • @kcjc
      @kcjc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@redkitten2521 it’s possible. If Gene likes a lyric or song demo enough he’ll find a way to work it in at some point.

    • @craigjomaia
      @craigjomaia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If they put Gene Simmons into anything designed for Lynda Carter there were so many alterations that it was barely the same outfit. Taking an outfit designed for a 5'11", 130lb woman measuring 37-27-27 and trying to shove Simmons' 6'2" never very slim body into it would be laughable.

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@redkitten2521 Well, it’s been confirmed that all the songs for this movie’s soundtrack are original, so yeah, very highly likely

  • @GHOST-zy3ji
    @GHOST-zy3ji 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Bulletproof umbrella? Holly shit kingsman was inspired by this movie

    • @graemesmith6721
      @graemesmith6721 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      No, Burgess Meredith's Penguin in the 1960s Batman TV show had one 20 years earlier.

    • @SuperSwordman1
      @SuperSwordman1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@graemesmith6721 it's amazing how many people forget about Penguin's utility umbrella

    • @SuperSwordman1
      @SuperSwordman1 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nit helped with all these new versions not using it

    • @GHOST-zy3ji
      @GHOST-zy3ji 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SuperSwordman1 well you also have the over the top villain and the dad been an ex-agent the love interest been involve someone how
      But all that can fall in to James Bond too

    • @troychristensen4646
      @troychristensen4646 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@SuperSwordman1I remember penguin's umbrella.

  • @jcope3886
    @jcope3886 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    I remember watching this on cable back in the 80's...
    Glad to know it wasn't just a fever induced hallucination.

    • @demonkingbadger6689
      @demonkingbadger6689 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Heh, to be fair, even after watching the review, i am still convinced i am in a fever induced hallucination.

    • @aliyenyoka9487
      @aliyenyoka9487 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same that opening tho

    • @mariopantoja8259
      @mariopantoja8259 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Id explain this movie to people and they would tell me to shut up and that I was high.

  • @OmarBhoo
    @OmarBhoo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    saw this movie on VHS as a kid and for years I thought I had imagined it. Then I saw it on Tube. Even crazier than I remembered.

    • @mzgreenjeansapproves
      @mzgreenjeansapproves 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Right! I thought I confused it with Action Jackson

  • @DTSsince2016
    @DTSsince2016 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I discovered this in High School, and got this for my birthday after graduation, watched it, and it didn't disappoint. Definitely a so bad it's good 80s action movie!

  • @seanb.6793
    @seanb.6793 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I don't know - that Ragnar / Carruthers disguise looked pretty good to me! With how over the top Gene Simmons' other outfits are in this, the Carruthers disguise is a good one.

  • @kevincola3184
    @kevincola3184 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Brandon Tenold could be a really good Writer for RiffTrax, keep up the awesome content Brandon, I love your videos and eagerly anticipate every new upload!

    • @edwardburek1717
      @edwardburek1717 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Careful - Joel could poach him for the new MST3K strand.

    • @TheEyez187
      @TheEyez187 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, then RiffTrax would have someone funny writing for them! They're so bad, I think they write for Kevin James. All Fart, Small Plop!
      Brandon's hilarious, better off by his self!

    • @kevincola3184
      @kevincola3184 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheEyez187 Toilet humor jokes are pretty infrequent and some of their live shows are absolutely amazing, I really don't believe you've watched enough RiffTrax If your comment is anything to go by, lol.

    • @TheEyez187
      @TheEyez187 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kevincola3184 The Kevin James bit's mine, can't stand him! And Yeah tbf I've only watched a couple of their shorts, Thomas the Tank Engine was mildly amusing and two of their full one's incl. ROTOR and it barely made me smile; and I thought I was easy going. Not everything is for everyone.
      Have you got a favourite of theirs, maybe I picked their poorer videos. Always willing to give thing a go!

    • @kevincola3184
      @kevincola3184 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheEyez187 Also I don't like the Shorts films much, it's usually not great and some of the Rifftrax films are not very good but it depends on the film.
      There are a few free full-length Rifftrax films on their TH-cam channel like The Last Shark which is pretty funny.

  • @Nx57ytre
    @Nx57ytre 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    13:53 In fact, that suit reminds me of a Tokusatsu hero. Cliff only lacks the helmet and he could be a Kamen Rider, or at least Riderman

  • @Killahead.
    @Killahead. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    First off..this movie sounds amazing. Secondly, I personally think Gene did a really good job in that role. It's definitely different for him and he really does go for it and it works. In the short time he's on screen during this review I immediately want to see more of that character.

    • @KBWeeds
      @KBWeeds 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am totally shocked at how good Gene Simmons was in this movie. Like he owned this role and it wasn’t cringy.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It's especially impressive when you consider that this was 1986, and the nature of some of KISS's fanbase (not that KISS fans are bad; just that there's a lot of young-ish teen boys, and part of that group is not known to be overly tolerant of non-traditional gender roles, especially not in the mid-80s). This was definitely a risk in that respect, and Gene still didn't hold back. That's some commitment.
      It's also notable because KISS is so unapologetically about the cash (more power to them), and this felt more like real passion.
      I agree; the more I see of Velvet, the more I want to see. Simmons killed this.

    • @VasLittlecrowWojtanowicz
      @VasLittlecrowWojtanowicz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@michaelccozens Fun fact: Gene Simmons actually immersed himself in gay club culture and talked to drag queens about how to best represent them. This is even more impressive when you consider Gene's personal politics on top of what you mentioned. He really did this role right, and I say this as an intersex person.

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

  • @vonbrewskie9361
    @vonbrewskie9361 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    "I'm a whole man."
    "Cancelled!"
    Oh man that got me. Great delivery on that line brother. What a weird ass movie. Thanks for the heads up!

  • @neonnwave1
    @neonnwave1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This ain't the only film Gene Simmons was in. He also portrayed a character in the live action film of 'Detroit Rock City'.... Appropriately named film (based off of a manga) for him to be in.

  • @dinosoid2000
    @dinosoid2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    After this you gotta review If Looks Could Kill. Now that's a classic of early 90s camp gold.

  • @MrPasta317
    @MrPasta317 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I’m just imagining in a different timeline where there’s a sequel to this movie and the plot is that John Stamos has to fight a cybernetic Brian May… or is that just me?

  • @skylx0812
    @skylx0812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    A 90s indie rock band got into a shouting match backstage at a Lollapalooza concert over which of their signature "hits" they should perform. The argument could be heard by all the bands in their dressing rooms.
    The loud clomp thudding sounds of someone stomping down the hallway stopped them. Then who comes storming into the room? Gene Simmons in full KISS regalia, makeup, hair costume and signature platform boots.
    Simmons scolded the regrouped band for arguing and shouted that it doesn't matter what songs they want to play. He said they're going to play whatever their fans want to hear because its the fans that are the reason they're there and why anyone even still remembers them. He said, _"Why do you think I still wear this stupid costume!"_
    After his ranting he turned on his heels and made to go stomping back out. Unfortunately his platform boots made him too tall to clear the door properly and he slammed his forehead on the top frame and knocked himself out cold.

    • @poptoe11
      @poptoe11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      As a tall person... It be like that sometimes.

    • @karldammann
      @karldammann 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lmfao!

    • @ComicGladiator
      @ComicGladiator 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sounds like he KISSed the sky.

  • @lennoxshepherd3905
    @lennoxshepherd3905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The inclusion of freddy kruger in this movie means that this is just some poor sods nightmare before freddy kills them, thus making it a cannonical part of the Friday the 13th franchise.

  • @grapeshot
    @grapeshot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Oh man this does bring back memories I remember watching his movie back in the 80s. And the villain was definitely unique. And I forgot Vanity was in this.

    • @skeaneable
      @skeaneable 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      yeah the main badguy reminds me of Tim Curry's character(Dr.Frankenfurter) from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

    • @Flint-Dibble-the-Don
      @Flint-Dibble-the-Don 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Instead of smoking crack, Vanity is smoking hot in this.

  • @jonathanmoore322
    @jonathanmoore322 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Psycho Goreman's Review:
    "I do not care for Hermaphroditic Gene Simmons!"
    ...
    "Or do I?"

  • @midwestmonster9886
    @midwestmonster9886 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    If they wanted to do a _Son of James Bond_ series, why didn't George Lazenby share any scenes with John Stamos? It seems like that would've been essential in establishing a passing of the torch. You know? Ah, who am I kidding? This was never getting a sequel anyway.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I mean, you're not wrong, but I can think of couple more fundamental flaws in the logic of this movie, like the fact that it doesn't have any.

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

  • @willmistretta
    @willmistretta 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I dreamed about this movie last night for some reason. Way to scare me, Tenold.

  • @SwaggyG_2102
    @SwaggyG_2102 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    It's a shame that this movie didn't get a sequel.
    I would've loved to see what a movie on this type of caliber would look like if it were made in the 90s or even 2000s.

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

  • @shawdawg3675
    @shawdawg3675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Looks like a crazy movie. My favorite Gene Simmons movie is Runaway, though. He is just so damn creepy in that one, in an evil way, not a weird way like this.

  • @davetheheretic295
    @davetheheretic295 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Did the farm blow up because a stray bullet his a can of turpentine? Yeah, I know I'm straining gnats here.

  • @crimped357
    @crimped357 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    how the hell did I make it out of the 80's without ever seeing this gem?! oh wait... yeah, never mind.

  • @jackwells8107
    @jackwells8107 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I have to admit, I was confusing John Stamos and Richard Greico, and this movie with If Looks Could Kill. I kept expecting Linda Hunt to come out and beat someone to death.

    • @Flint-Dibble-the-Don
      @Flint-Dibble-the-Don 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I will never forget the scorpion goddess from If Looks Could Kill. If the title had any truth to it she would be a lethal as a bullet in the brain.

    • @streeterville773
      @streeterville773 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Flint-Dibble-the-Don Same here! He should review that sometime.

  • @terencemorales7894
    @terencemorales7894 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Excellent review! This continues to be one of the most consistently entertaining channels on TH-cam.

  • @wesleyjackson186
    @wesleyjackson186 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I remember Vanity was my first on-screen crush when I was a kid. I fell in love with her watching the movie The Last Dragon. RIP Vanity (1959-2016)

  • @Wolfangzs
    @Wolfangzs 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I released an audible sigh when you said Tammy and the T-Rex. However that one was way less painfully. I will actually give it a watch with some friends . Great video.

  • @moeomoton520
    @moeomoton520 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Its well known Vanity is a nasty gal!" Awesome line, your delivery was perfect, laughed my butt off!😅🤣😂

  • @christophernewman2904
    @christophernewman2904 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I think the soundtrack is what keeps this from being more of a cult classic.

  • @joshDammmit
    @joshDammmit 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Remember when John Stamos was a reputable actor?
    Yeah, me neither.

  • @jaysonraphaelmurdock8812
    @jaysonraphaelmurdock8812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Harvey Fierstein+Cher+Rupaul = Ragnar
    Also "Hey back off Dee Snider" made me fall on the floor.

  • @markbest5127
    @markbest5127 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I saw this back in 86 in the Ft Irwin theater with my buds during my army days, and this ridiculous pos had us rolling, especially Simmons.
    I hadn't seen it in about 33 years till TCM ran it on their Underground showings.
    I couldn't believe I'd forgotten how Brad out was, and this review had me rolling, because this was everything I thought about it after rewatching.
    Best review so far, hilarious!🤣🤣🤣

  • @matthewcochran3325
    @matthewcochran3325 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I saw this when I was a kid and nobody believed me when I told them about it. For a long time I thought I was crazy until the internet came along and I was able to research it. I then called all my old friends from childhood to prove to them it was real. They all thought I was crazy.

  • @manlaw77
    @manlaw77 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Damn! I was partying my ass off when this came out. I can't believe I never heard of it.
    But, its way better than the garbage that is produced today by Hollywood!

  • @YomTube
    @YomTube 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    it’s amazing you’ve done this movie. i love it! also surprised it’s not more known amongst the “good bad” movie lists.

  • @Doctor-Stoppage
    @Doctor-Stoppage 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I thought I recognized the actor playing Cliff. That's Peter Kwong. He played Rain in "Big trouble in little China!" 🌩️

  • @ravensthatflywiththenightm7319
    @ravensthatflywiththenightm7319 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I just feel it's even weirder that this episode happens shortly after I finished binge-watching Vikings.
    I will never look at the name RAGNAR the same way again lol

  • @mathieuleader8601
    @mathieuleader8601 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Good to see another member of the Frankenfurter clan

  • @chrismayclin6397
    @chrismayclin6397 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That scene of Gene Simmons running maniacally down the dam was totally off script.

    • @dharkling
      @dharkling 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Gene missed his calling doing voicework as the Joker, if Mark Hamill needed a vacation, lol.

  • @icenine09
    @icenine09 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Can't we just get *BEYOND* Thunderdome?

  • @solidg3legend868
    @solidg3legend868 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I had heard Gene Simmons was into acting a little but I thought he was only in one movie, had no idea he was in multiple ones, especially one that has...everything in like this one.

  • @karldammann
    @karldammann 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    How have I never heard of this before?! Thanks for still making content even an old, jaded, shitty movie lover can still be surprised by!

  • @denniskristos3800
    @denniskristos3800 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Not only "Batman", Brandon. Lorenzo Semple Jr. also wrote the screenplays for "Three Days Of The Condor", Dino De Laurentis' 1976 "King Kong", "Never Say Never Again" and the 1980 "Flash Gordon"

  • @TheRealNormanBates
    @TheRealNormanBates 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    7:04 “You don’t understand… I did not kill just _one_ Hoosnauk or their ship… _I killed them ALL._ Every last one has ceased to exist.”

  • @ohc1492
    @ohc1492 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Cornhole John Stamos" is something I never thought hearing (or imagining) during my lifetime...

  • @Keenergetic
    @Keenergetic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I remember Gene Simmons in "Runaway" (1984) where he said "Ramsay!" about 10-20 times.

    • @mrgonzale0978
      @mrgonzale0978 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      i think this is his best performance.

  • @vitorafmonteiro
    @vitorafmonteiro 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Stamosgrove became suddenly so good at fightng because his theme was playing, of course.

  • @beastlyidiots9232
    @beastlyidiots9232 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The Asian actor (roommate) plays "Rain" one of the mystical storms in Big Trouble in Little China.

  • @suedenim
    @suedenim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great product placement by Arm & Hammer for their new plastic explosives line!

  • @trevorgoodchild8266
    @trevorgoodchild8266 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I kinda miss movies like this, back when a bunch of directors got their hands on movies and they made no sense but were still crazy enjoyable fun and they were sure as hell original.

  • @graemesmith6721
    @graemesmith6721 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Simmons is by far the best thing in this movie. I remember watching it on VHS with some friends back in the '80s. We all laughed our asses off. Oddly enough, Red Letter Media reviewed it on their very first Best of the Worst, and they didn't like it. They were actually surprised by how much they disliked it, because from the description on the back of the box, it sounded like it should be awesome. Go figure.

    • @Tareltonlives
      @Tareltonlives 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They've liked worse movies and hated better movies.

  • @cacomeatballmarinara2014
    @cacomeatballmarinara2014 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    6:02 Huh, seems some things trickle back into the stream at some point. I wonder if Kingsmen got their bulletproof umbrella from this movie.

  • @Tom_TheDutchguy
    @Tom_TheDutchguy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fun fact about George Lazenby and the reason why he only played Bond once: George was offerd to play Bond in Diamonds are Forever by the studio, but his agent talked him out of it because his agent thought it was bad for his career.......yeah.

    • @ConstantineFurman
      @ConstantineFurman 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Real talk: I'd have loved if Lazenby did "Diamonds" because Connery just sleepwalks through the thing for his million dollar paycheck. Lazenby would've at least been a.) in shape and b.) put in some effort.

  • @kingcheerio8558
    @kingcheerio8558 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I demand that this get a modern day sequel starring John Stamos, Elliott Page, and Britney Spears

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

  • @robertdochter277
    @robertdochter277 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Who knew that Gene Simmons was moonlighting as Divine this entire time.

  • @Vertabreaker3
    @Vertabreaker3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This might be my new favorite of your reviews.

  • @Evilgrebo
    @Evilgrebo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Half way through I had to message a friend "we NEED to watch this"

  • @MattsMovieReviews
    @MattsMovieReviews 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great to find another 80s metal loving film reviewer.

  • @PapaTaurean
    @PapaTaurean 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Why am I just hearing about this movie now??? This NEEDS to be a cult classic!
    To the video store!!

  • @MissAshley42
    @MissAshley42 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Woah, when I clicked this, I didn’t realize Brandon was taking us to the gun show!

  • @jimmccauley2424
    @jimmccauley2424 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The best review yet! Your commentary was tight and throwing in that WASP tune was killer.

  • @teardroptimothy5000
    @teardroptimothy5000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    To be honest gene Simmons did pretty well in this role I totally wasn't expecting that it's to bad this didn't get more attention

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

  • @mathieuleader8601
    @mathieuleader8601 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ragnar reminds me alot of Emperor Ivankov would look like in One Piece's Netflix adaptation

  • @bloodrunsclear
    @bloodrunsclear 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ragnar: My little turdballs!
    Minions: TURDBALLS! TURDBALLS!

  • @HevyMetlDave
    @HevyMetlDave 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Swords and Tequila. Damn that’s an old hidden gem, haven’t heard that in decades. You win.

  • @frenstcht
    @frenstcht 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    CANCELLED
    LOL

  • @nickdirienzo2849
    @nickdirienzo2849 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Gene Simmons was great in this role!

    • @shewolfsiren
      @shewolfsiren 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      People are talking about how Stamos should’ve taken on a different rockstar supervillain in each of the sequels. Well, I actually was fortunate enough to get my hands on the only existing copy of the script to the never-made sequel. Funny enough, that’s exactly what happens--sort of. John Stamos returns as Lance Stargrove, Gene Simmons is back as Velvet Von Ragnar, and Paul Stanley gets cast as the villain, one Michael Rotiart by name. Oh, fun details: Velvet is the hero(ine) in the sequel and Stargrove is the sidekick--and we get to see Gene Simmons PREGNANT, every girl’s oh-how-I-wish-you-could-experience-this-for-yourself wish! P.S.--We get Velvet’s background story, too. And Paul Stanley is threatening to kill not just Gene Simmons, but Gene’s innocent unborn baby! If that’s not perfect evil, I don’t what is!

    • @nickdirienzo2849
      @nickdirienzo2849 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@shewolfsiren I think killing Gene Simmons if he is pregnant or not is how a hero does god's work.

  • @MrKodachii
    @MrKodachii 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So how much 80's do you want in your movie?
    Everyone: Yes

  • @khorgor
    @khorgor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    holy...this movie is real....i barely remembered it from a very late night tv binge, but here we are and it really exists....wow