Heartbreak, hope and healing: A Young Mother's Adoption Story
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- Every now and then, you hear a story that's equal parts pain and joy, weakness and strength, fear and bravery, despair and hope.
The birth and adoption of Leo Doud, which came to light last week in a poignantly candid account written by Leo's birth mom, is one such story.
A 25-year-old photojournalism student at the University of Iowa, Callie Mitchell chronicled her unplanned pregnancy, delivery and decision to give her baby up for adoption in heartbreaking detail and with gorgeous, moving photographs in the college newspaper. The story gives articulate voice to someone we don't often hear from in the adoption process: the birth mother.
Her saga began last spring when she discovered she was pregnant, then saw her relationship with her boyfriend, the biological father, crumble.
Alone and expecting, Mitchell was faced with the daunting decision of whether or not to keep the baby. To sort through things, she began writing a journal and capturing the private moments of her anguish via a self-timed camera on a tripod.
By the time she was six months pregnant, Mitchell decided to document her journey as part of a photography project at the newspaper. She says she wanted to be "as honest and open as possible" and put a real story of adoption "out there for the world to see." She admits the project at times -- if only briefly -- took her mind off her troubles.
Over the course of time, and while she was still pregnant, with the help of the adoption agency Callie picked Brian and Kirsten Doud to be the adoptive parents of her child to come.
Finally, on Dec. 6th, Callie's baby - Leo - was born. Callie had decided with Leo's adoptive parents, months before the delivery, that they should be the ones to hold him first -- so they did. Callie only held him after.
Making the decision to give a baby up for adoption has to be one of the world's hardest choices, as it's impossible not to fall a little in love with the human you've grown inside of you. Even if you know you can't possibly provide your child with the best possible life -- and someone else can -- deciding to give him or her up has to be nothing short of gut-wrenching, and an emotional nightmare.
But it's also incredibly brave and mature. In some ways, realizing your baby is better off with someone else is the ultimate act of selflessness and love. You're doing what's best for your son or daughter.
TO SEE CALLIE'S JOURNAL AND OTHER PICTURES & VIDEOS, PLEASE VISIT: www.dailyiowan....
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Wow people don't have anything better to do but to be hateful. There are so so so many couples. Who would give anything to be able to have a biological child and they cant. The gift of adoption is such a blessing to those who can't have babys.
Adoption isn't a "gift". Most mothers really don't want to give up their babies but they feel backed into a corner many times via circumstances. Many of them grieve for years and I've met many who grieved the loss of their babies for their entire lives. Open adoption is rarely legally enforceable and the adopted parents can close the adoption at any time for any reason. Many open adoptions have been closed simply because the adopted mother became uncomfortable sharing the baby w/ the first-mom. I was adopted and it was horrible. My adopted parents were abusive which is not uncommon.
there are people with mental issues who have children who really can't take care of them. but giving up your own blood because of financial needs is just crazy. you will regret it the rest of your life.
This Lorraine person is using her bad experience as a NORM for adoption. I have many adopted people in my family who were not abused, who aren't interested in their birth family. I have a few adopted friends. None of these situations sound like hers. I hate wen people have issues that they can't get over and use them to apply to everyone else's situation...
These birth moms aren't all innocent and unaware. They made these decisions. I know some grown women ( over 18) who made decision to place their children for adoption for many reasons. Affairs with married men. Married and had an affair with another man. Can't take care of the kid. Doesn't even want kids. They made these decisions. Many women don't even go through agencies, they seek adoptive parents on their own.
While these birth mothers have been irresponsible , the adoptive parents have been blessed...let's not act like the adoptive parents are stealing these babies...get real and stop playing victim
And she's lying..open adoption is legal and every parent I know who has adopted, has an open adoption and they have very close relationships with the birth parents. Guess what though? The birth parents become worrisome.
" can I claim the baby on my taxes?"
"I'm pregnant again, do you want to take this baby too?"
"I need help paying my phone bill, if I don't pay my phone bill, I can't see monthly pics of the baby".
"I need a ride"...
These are all real examples of what the adoptive parents deal with when they allow an open adoption.
Elyse Ward
I'm not lying. Open adoption is legal to enter into. But the open adoption agreements aren't necessarily legally enforceable if the adopted parents decide they no longer want an open adoption after the adoption has been finalized in court. The APs can LEGALLY close an open adoption at any time for any reason in most states and the first parents can't do much, if anything, about it. This is a FACT. Before you accuse people of lying, do some genuine research on the issue and get your facts straight.
It's never about who's his real mom or real dad. You can never have too many people loving a child and wanting their well being
Lily Smith ~ Every child grown up prefer their birth mom and you don't know shit about. I don't had anything against the person whose wanted to adopting children so get that out of your head.
I do believe each child should have the right to know the birth parents. I will say this though as the child that really never knew a hundred percent who my father was I can honestly say I never cared because the man that raised me could have walked away when my mom left me but he didn't so no matter what he will always be my daddy. Now speaking from the parent side of me, I am far from rich but I do have a heart full of love for my children and not one single time did I ever think about giving up any of my babies and I never will.
Being the mother of 4 adopted children I know the birth mothers of my children are linked in our life’s. Our first adoption was totally closed. I have always felt a deep love and connection with his birth mother, although we have never met. I have hoped and prayed she has had a life of peace over her decision to have him adopted. Our second son was a semi-open adoption. We met his very young birth parents, his birth grandparents, and birth aunts. I will never forget the face of his paternal birth grandmother as she placed him in our arms. I saw the deep love his birth family had for him. I feel a child can never have too many people in their lives that truly love them. That is a good thing, to be surrounded in love. I believe that someday they will seek each other out, and again, having love in your life is a good thing. Our other two children were adopted when they were 6 and 8 years old. A very different situation. I have always felt thankful that at the very least she did chose to give them life. Of that I am grateful. Unless you have ever been a part of the adoption triangle, it I always easy to have an opinion without the experience or knowledge. Until you have that first hand knowledge, it will always be an opinion and only that, and really that does not matter at all to the people who have made that sacrifice, and those who are being the parents.
As a father of one biological child in hopes of adopting a second child I find the criticism and judgement in some of these comments disgusting. And to be honest I wasn't far from thinking similar things when we started the adoption process. How could anyone give up a child is the common thought, all I can say is perception is far from reality when you actually meet some of the remarkable birth mothers that have made this selfless choice for their children. You can't possibly understand their circumstances and what have led them to this point. It is incredibly difficult and it takes a very special person to make that choice. The day we are chosen and a child is placed in our home will be a very special and beloved day in our household, our son can't wait to be a brother, and my wife and I always dreamed of having a bigger family. In the midst of our joy there will be immense sadness as a birth mother mourns the loss of that very same child that will bring so much joy to our family. She will mourn her inability to provide for him or her, the lack of support she may have had, the boyfriend that turned his back, the abusive husband. In our home she will be anything but a scorned and judged women that should have known better, we will grieve with her, and we will celebrate the gift she gives us each day. We hope she will be there with us for birthdays, holidays, and as many days in between as she likes.
Rob Murphey were you able to adopt? I’m considering it
Hi Rob Not to be Rude
But I'm adopted & it ruined my life it destroyed my spirit
I was bullied because of it
& I hate my Birth parents for not fighting for me
I hate my birth parents &
I hate my adopted parents
For ruining my life
ADOPTION IS STEALING SOMEONES IDENITY FOREVER ADOPRION IS TRAUMA & DAMAGES PEOPLE FOREVER
IT CAUSES ISSUES SUCH AS ANGER, SELF HATRED, MISTRUST IN EVERYBODY, HIGH ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS,
PANIC ATTACKS,
SELF ISOLATION, REJECTION OF SELF & OTHERS
BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT YOU WIAH FOR
@@brisingarinstaridavis7084 I too am an adoptee and I agree with you adoption is legalized human trafficking and identity theft. There is no replacement for your parents and grandparents and aunts uncles cousins and siblings. Did you find your family? I found mine. It was not what I expected but I am really glad I did.
You should really listen to us adoptees. My legal guardians and I no longer even talk after what they put me through with molestation and abuse. When I got pregnant at 19 because I was never taught any boundaries or to stand up for myself I had no choice I could never do what was done to me to my daughter. The father bailed on me before we had been married two years. I did what I had to I drove school buses sometimes as much as 50 hours a week split shift. My daughter blamed me for her father not being around and for not buying everything the rich kids had. But she always had clothes and shoes and a roof and food and transportation and counciling, a magnet school and after school activities and routine medical visits and a pet. She and I don't talk because she has no respect for anything I tried to do for her, but I have no regrets I know that I did what was right. I found my family on ancestry. As it turns out my father was abusive and scared my mother. and then then my parents sold me to a couple who should not have been given a cat and my family on both sides was told I had died of a heart defect at birth so that no one could step up and fight for me and my father could go back to his normal life and my mother could escape. My mother died of aggressive reoccurring breast cancer that matastisized to her brain before I was able to find her. So adoption is almost never a good idea and statistically adoptees and foster kids do worse in everything than kid left with their families even when the situation is less than ideal.
@@geo2842 please read the comments us adoptees have left and do volenteer work that supports needy families instead that is if you want to actually help and not hurt.
I'm a 53-year-old adoptee and was reunited with my birth parents when I was 25. All three of you are absolutely AMAZING! I think the arrangement that you have is beautiful! How awesome is it that Leo has so much love surrounding him!!
I would never let someone chose the name for my baby!!!! & I would never ever give up my baby😭😭😭😭
I'm adopted and had so heartache
I was adopted and it was an open adoption and i love it.
Why are there so many negative comments? The birth mother gave him the best life she could, and his mom and dad are clearly providing that. (There is a difference between "mother" and "mom" even if the mother is involved in his life.)
That little boy clearly looks happy and healthy so why make negative comments on a positive story?
Adoption is always a gamble - you will never be certain that your child will be loved. And regardless of even the best adoption story - it is still an unnatural thing for any mother to give her baby away. If she had had support she might not have done it, which would have been the best outcome for her and her child.
And happiness and health in childhood don't show the issues an adoptee may have in adolesence and adulthood. And there are a LOT of those.
TheYasmineFlower You really have no idea what you're talking about.
I agree! I think people don't understand modern day adoption. It's open if you choose, you pick the parents etc. These children aren't being thrown to the wind. Adoptive parents adhere to so many rules and they are passionate about having children. YasmineFlower is under some delusion that adoption is as simple as selling a puppy on Ebay and you couldn't get further from the truth.
Hadley Anderson ~ How do you know every child received the best life. What you see it just temporary only time will tell. Every child wanted to know their mother if it easily for them to find.
TheYasmineFlower ~ Agree...she will regret later on in life when she had a family.
I'm starting the process of adoption I've started talking to this couple I love to be potential adoptive parents for my baby.
Adoption isn't the "easy way out" its when you want your child to have everything they need and knowing you can't provide that for them
As an adoptee I disagree with you. I personally would have perfered to be cut to pieces and vacuumed out of my mother for a few minutes than the years of abuse and legalized identity theft my legalized human traffickers put me through. If you Mothers only knew some of the situations we end up in. This situation that Leo is in is loving honest and fair to everyone. But this doesn't happen too often and you cannot expect it as the norm. A mother is not replaceable. I drove a school bus for years when I had my daughter at 19. There are ways to do this if you love your baby. I can't promise your baby will appreciate it but you will do the best by your baby in most cases by realizing mother's are not replaceable.
I’m sorry. Sadly, this is not uncommon. I agree, birth mothers don’t understand how
valuable they are,even if they at young, poor, uneducated, etc… they can still often times provide the best and most loving home for their children. I think many of them believe the lies that their babies deserve more
These visits as your biological mother spending weekend with adoptive parents is, sorry to tell you, extremely short lived. No adoptive parent wants to feel like baby sitter. I gave up child knowing that I might not ever see child again. Its sad. But its reality.I did research on web and read lots of stories about how open adoption is a fantasy. I receive pictures. Im blessed to have that.
I agree. I don't think the adoptive parents are going to put up with it for long. Soon they will probably start to make the visits less and less and before long not at all. They will probably even move away and not give a new address.
I think what Callie did was both amazing and heartbreaking. She struggled with this decision, but she knew that giving her son up for adoption to a family that could raise it properly was the best thing for her son. I've never given a baby up for adoption, but I could feel Callie's angst as she struggled with this. Giving up your baby is never easy. And for people to call this woman selfish or whatever, need to stop. Unless you've struggled with putting a baby up for adoption, you have no room to talk whatsoever. Nobody has the right to judge Callie. She did was she believed was best for her child. When it comes to a baby, you do what's best by your child, not what's best for you. Sometimes love is all about doing what may be so difficult for you, but in the end, in the best interests of and for another person.
I'm an adoptee. Both my biological parents did not have the resources to take care of me. The poverty level of the country I was born in (in certain areas) is quite high. They did what they knew what was best for me, and loved me enough to want me to be in a family that could give me everything I needed and wanted, when they could not. I don't resent my biological parents at all.
thank you for sharing your thoughts; it's not easy
TokyoQueen it's not an easy decision, either
this young woman did not give her son up for adoption. she made an adoption plan for him. language is meaningful. i'm so proud of these three and all the love they have, not just for their baby, but for one another as well. (from an adoptive mom in an open adoption)
She gave up her son for adoption. Who are you trying to kid?
it is antiquated language that implies the birthmother does not love her child. birth mothers make an adoption plan for their child. you don't need to agree with me, but most birthmothers truly care for the children they carried and to say that she gave up her child (or even worse, for the child to one day feel he/she was given up on) is not accurate and is actually hurtful.
elizabeth weisman Sugar coating does not hide the facts. Like it or not an adoption involves the birth parents positively ‘giving up’ all rights on that child. It’s legally enforceable. Nothing romantic about adoption but yes it’s the better option than a child living in an orphanage or with parents who does not want to deal with him.
Beautiful baby :) I think she made the right choice, the the couple she chose to be Leo's parents are phenomenal parents. And they offer Callie such great support, something Callie needed from her partner. Glad they're all happy :D
I have to say I admire that you loved your child enough to give him a wonderful life and that you still play a big part in his life. There are so many moms that have just thrown their babies in a dump and that could have been Leo, but you done what you felt was best for your son. For the record that makes you a good mom and I think one day when you are ready to have another baby you will be a great mother to that child also..
This birth mother is a mom without any responsibility. She doesn't stay up nights when he's crying or dealing with him being sick. The whole point of adoption is giving up the child you can't care for. When he get's older and starts rebelling, this isn't going to end well. He'll play is adopted parents against his bio mother who's still involved.
If his adoptive parents kept his mother out of his life, he'll start rebelling anyway and judge them for what they did and with good reason.
Just because she is not as involved in his life and care as his adoptive mother does not make her any less his mother. Without her, he wouldn't even exist.
And the "whole point" of adoption is not to give your child away and go - life doesn't work that way. And that's not even including the fact that open adoptions are not about giving your child away and not seeing it again, they are about this very scenario - the adoptive family and the family of origin embracing each other and all being involved in the life of the child in order to do what is best for the child.
She is his mother. If you don't expect her to love her child and want to be in his life, what kind of an image do you have of mothers anyway?
TheYasmineFlower But the child may not want contact with the birth mom. Legally, she's just a stranger. DNA means nothing. You have far too much emotion about this and I would suggest you stop pestering people about genetics.
Mom is very pretty and smart, she did the right thing.
I am doing an open adoption with my son to a couple that cannot have children of their own. It is breaking me because I was (at first) forced to give him up by my family. But as time has gone on, I have realized that as a single mom I can never be able to give him what he would need. But I want what is best for him. I was adopted myself but my family abandoned me for their life of drugs, alcohol, sex, and violence. My son will never know the questions that I had to think of when I found out I was adopted because I will give everything for him just as I have now.
oh dear angel , birth mother .... how loving you are ..and how wise. my child paid a very high price because I could not let him go....
bless you .
What a blessed little boy. He has a birth mother who loves him so much that she makes the selfless decision to admit she couldn't give him what he needed & chose wonderful parents who could. Then he has adoptive parents who clearly love him more than anything in the world & who are selfless enough to have his birth mother closely involved in his life so he always knows who she is.
This is beautiful I was promised open adoption and never got it & so happy to see these parents follow thru there words just beautiful moment here
I am adopted and reading the comment below,it is obvious to me if the writer is male or female. 2 totally different perspectives. I am so glad that the woman who chose to put me up for adoption, did so. She gave me, obviously, things she could not. So many say, 'well, if your 'mom' wasn't ready to be a 'mom', then she shouldn't have been screwing around.' That, to me, is such a harsh, judgmental and reductive thing to say. I don't believe that the majority, or even near the majority of women, use adoption as a form of north control, as some here have insinuated. Sure, I've thought through the years 'why' and perhaps certain parts of my life would be different had I not been adopted. Some things might have been easier. Those question that when young, I asked myself. always 'WHY, WHY, WHY'? 'What did I do for her to throw me away'? She didn't though and it takes growing older and even therapy, to figure certain things out. Accept that which happened. I won't judge the arrangement the couple and birth mother, as I call her, have worked out for themselves, for if it works for them, then all the better. How I might have reacted to having parents, and then a woman on the side who also is 'mommy', I can never tell you for it is not MY story. In the late 60's, when I was born, I've heard from women who have their children up in that decade, how horribly they were treated, for making the decision they made. Judged. Criticized. Analyzed. Made to feel just one thing, guilt. That is not the way it should be. She did something for me that was selfless, more than likely giving me a life I wouldn't have had. I've never tried to seek out my 'biological mother/father'…but my sister did (both of us adopted, different birth parents, though) so, before she and her husband had children, she could find out about the family genetics, i.e.…does cancer run in the family, things an average mom knows about her background. Did not work out well for her, though. She got the info she sought, but they were unkind to my sister, always afraid she'd be asking for things. Never seen again. One issue I do have, is the severity of the laws in New York, the most severe in the US. All adoptions are closed files and cannot be opened. Many have tried and failed. Once that paper is signed, the child can learn nothing, going through proper channels. Those I know who found their birth mom's, did so through private investigators. This gives the birth mom all the power, and the adopted child, none. This is radically unfair just for the reasons my sister sought out her birth mother. Anyway, no one above, in this video and/or other stories, arrangements, etc that birth moms and adopted parents make, should be judged. They do what they feel is best for the child and for them. One never knows how a child will turn out, biological or not. It's always a changing story. Adopted kids feeling secure in that they were chosen and the biological children, having other issues about other things. I've heard kids say, 'why didn't she give me away'? Are no simple answers but being judgmental about the 'why's, how's, where's', etc…and they are no one's business but the 3-4 people involved. Shame on those here judging something they probably know nothing about. Then again, we are in a judgmental culture where if someone is not effected directly, they judge. It's a really bad and harmful way to think, always judging. Don't! Until you have loved the same experience, yourself. Otherwise, accept what is, and let go for if you don't, all you are doing is making people feel less than, about themselves, which can lead to many problems for many people. Pax Out!
I am very sorry that you feel this way. Honestly. So many do hate the people who raised them for such a variety of reasons I could never get through, here. Had they given you away, and I know from my friends, which are 99.9% of them, all with their birth parents,that they have thought at one time or another or even say to their parents, their natural, 'biological' parents, 'why didn't you give me up? I'd have a better life if you'd just given me up!' It's a question all people, adopted or not, ask themselves at one time or another. I believe that it's natural to question or wonder what life would be like if they'd grown up with another family. Especially for people who are younger, adopted or not. Why, if I may ask, do you hate the people who gave birth to you? Is it because they gave you up? (I am assuming you are adopted). Because of the doubt you have about 'why'? Because they instilled in you the 'the first thing that happened to me in my life was to be given away'…mentality? I have felt all those but have worked through them, and truly believing that the life the woman who gave me up, in the end, gave me by putting me up for adoption, is probably so much better than that which she could have given me at that time. Adopted kids will always have doubts and resentments and questions. However, so do kids/people, who were born, raised, etc…by their biological parents. There has to be a reason you 'hate' your birth parents. If you were given up, were you adopted by simple terrible people? Did or do they mistreat you? If it is so terrible, you can petition the court, when you are 18, to undo the adoption, but that is a drastic step. I don't know, so much has to do with how old you are, now, what has occured recently in your own life, what your imagination tells you life might have been like had your 'bio parents' kept you……! I have had those fantasies that one day, I will get a letter saying to me that my 'bio mom' is actually royalty or a multi millionaire, or someone so famous that i'd be known, immediately. People used to tell me how much I looked like Duran, from Duran Duran, but we are the same age, so that option is not realistic. Have you thought about therapy to deal with your feeling about your north parents? It can and will help you, if you allow it too, deal with the feelings you have about them, and then the guilt you might have about feeling the way you do about them. I am again, really sorry that your feelings for these people, (have you met them, even?) have instilled such feelings about these people. If you have not even met them, then you are giving them so much power in allowing them to bring out such a strong feeling about them that would allow to use the word, 'hate'…! I hope you find some peace and serenity in coming to grips with who gave you up and who adopted you, if that is the case. There are, and I hope you remember that so many kids who were kept, raised by their natural parents, have had horrible experiences, yet adopted people, that feeling is so much less. We were chosen and wanted and people worked hard, laying their lives out for all to see, government officials, churches, etc..for all to see. I was wanted so much that my parents worked a year to get me and I thank God or the fates or destiny….for allowing that to happen. I hope you will feel that way, some day (not saying that I have not felt at one time or another, feelings of anger and resentment toward both my biological and, (I will only use this term once) adopted "parents." Again, peace to you today and every day! Love is coming your way from, well…..me, Erica.
It's really scary to find out you're pregnant. Giving your baby to someone who's able to give them everything they could ever need is the toughest decision someone can make. It's done with immense love.
I am a single father. I took care of my two son since they were 4&5 years old until now they are grown up with good health and doing well in School.
this type of adoption is actually more common than not these days. The majority of us birthmamas don't view our role as "coparenting" but visits, texts, skypes, etc are not actually exceptional as this report suggests.
Open adoption really is a healthier, more enlightened way. I love my birth-son's family and am so glad that where ther could have been ego, insecurity, and territorialism, there is trust, empathy and cooperation!
+Tamra Hyde I hope it continues for you. 85% of open adoptions close within 5 years.
+Megan DePerro I'm interested to know where you found that statistic. it certainly doesn't match what i've observed in my 18 years of involvement in the adoption community. I've certainly seen open adoptions close but certainly a minority and I've seen some of those reopen.
I am glad that your son's adoption seems to be so lucky and happy for you. I hope he feels the same way.
Thank you. He does. When we reunited, he told me that he was so grateful for my "generous choice". He and his family invited me to come spend the day with them last week and he attended my family's reunion last month. We just love each other. it's easy.
Talk about a tear jerker. good job momma you did the right thing. I am so glad that they let you stay in his life like that, that is amazing.
I placed my daughter 22 years ago. I started visiting her at 6 weeks old. It takes very strong families to make this work for the good of the child. God bless you all that make it continue to work. I love and bless you all.
Well , this is a wonderful story, with a wonderful out come. I was adopted in the year of 1960. And I'm still looking for my birth mother.. My adopted parents refused to tell me who she was. And they die with that information.. I'm still trying to find away to find her.
aww. that's sad Lonnie. I hope and pray u find them
If you visit the facebook page of FirstMotherForum, you may find someone who can put you in contact with search angels who can help you. There are many mothers whose children were adopted away from them during the baby scoop era of those 60s there.
your 'parents' were complete psychos! jeeez!
As many of you know we are approved to adopt! This Christmas season I pray for every mother in a tough decision, and every baby and child who doesn't have their forever family yet. Even though we are approved and ready to go... I don't know where our next baby is or where she/he will come from... However, I send out prayers and extra angels to watch over the mother and baby wherever they may be. I pray they feel safe. I pray they have food and shelter. I pray their medical needs are being met. I pray for the mother and her difficult decision that she will have peace in knowing that her little baby will be loved and never taken for granted. I pray for comfort in knowing that her baby will be safe and happy. I pray that she will know that we will always keep the mother in our prayers, even after we take the baby home. I pray that people can realize that she isnt a bad person, and that it is a selfless decision made out of love. Open the hearts of the folks around them, and take away judgment. Help them realize that she wants to keep it, but feels the child will have better opportunities in life than she can provide at this current moment. I pray that the people surrounding her... support her... and understand that she does and will always love this child as much as we do, just from afar. I pray she knows in her heart that her baby will always know of her strong love. Give her relief in knowing that her baby will have a mommy, a daddy, and 2 awesome big brothers to protect it and love it forever. Bless both of these precious souls, children of God. Amen.
email us at adoptioncharlescarey@gmail.com if you are looking for a forever family... Bless you in this tough time!
I think this is sad and beautiful in equal ways it's sad the mother who you can see honestly loved her son felt she wasn't able to give him the life he deserves and it's happy that she found what looks like a perfect way to raise her son, he will get the best of both life's and be loved and well looked after and she still gets to be a huge part of his life. We can't judge we aren't them. And who knows what the future will hold. They ( all three of them) seem like a beautiful family and I wish the four of them Leo included a long and happy future 😘
♥ God Bless this woman. I know how much it takes to give a child up for their good. She did the most selfless act a mother can do.
I have two bio parents (obviously), two adoptive parents, and a step mother (from my adoptive parents splitting and my adoptive dad remarrying). i have known all of them from early childhood until now (i'm in my late 20s). it is only difficult to be in this situation if there is conflict in the family among your different moms and dads, but if everyone is cool with each other and does not harbour jealousy or create drama, you will enjoy the blessings of having them in your life. it is not an easy situation to have multiple parents, it takes a group of people with big hearts and only the little one's interest in mind.
If you decide to give your child away, you shouldn’t be able to have a say in their life. Her being around isn’t fair to the child or the adoptive parents. She’s selfish and is attempting to get the best of both worlds. I would never agree to an open adoption. I would give my kid all the info they need to find their birth parents when they’re 18 years old. Also any kid that’s put up for adoption always wonders about their bio parents no matter how loved they are.
Edit: I wouldn’t call her a parent, she signed her rights away. It’s only a matter of time before they get sick of that annoying naive girl. They need to distance themselves ASAP.
I agree with you one hundred percent. Kids will understand better when they are older but genetic parents may not always want to see the kid again so a lot could happen.
Yes such a sensible factual comment! I completely agree with you. The adoptive parents will unfortunately learn the hard way the importance of not going over board with an open adoption.
I gave my son up for adoption when he was a week old: know that I was young, unsupported by family and very scared. I have loved my child every second of his life and will continue to do so for the rest of mine. Every adoption story is unique and heartbreak is common. His adoptive parents died of cancer some years ago and he is now with extended family. of course I pray for him everyday and I will meet him again someday. I am very sorry for your experience DJ Petrov
I'm an adoptee. I was a closed adoption and I only found out my birthright name last week after 34 minutes years and I'm conflicted as to what to do. I have always wanted to meet her, to know if I have siblings, to know if I look like someone. But now that I know her name, the reality of rejection is scaring me from trying to find her. I went by the house that was listed on the birth certificate. Knowing that I was in that home before I was born , in that bad neighborhood left me really scared for her. I was raised to.respect her no matter what. But what if she hates me and wants.nothing to do.with me.
Amy you should go meet her. You won't know the outcome until you do it. My brother was adopted out. My mother was a teenager when he was born. I was 22 years old when my brother found us. It was a very happy occasion for the whole family, including grandparents, cousins, etc. Today me and my brother have a very good relationship and he does with all the family. I was very happy to finally meet my big brother.
+Amy go meet her, what if she was treated as I and really wanted you but was in a controlled state/hospital you will never know until you do it.
I want to but i don't know how to find her. I got my original birth certificate with her name but i can't find her now as shes likely changed her name. She didn't list a birth father but mt adoption. Paperwork lists info about him. Makes me think either he didn't know or she didn't want to list him so he couldn't object. Meaning he obviously didn't sign away his rights...
Start in the city you were born in and do anstatewide search of the names you have. Lots of people also put pictures and ads on facebook and have gotten excellent results.
She is so unselfish, it blows my mind! Callie you are a wonderful example for humanity! 😊 Bless you my dear.
Ria,
it is 2016 now and I would like to hear more of them.
How is his life now, do the parents have a good relationship ?
This story is very rare.
People who chose to abort their baby or put them up for adoption & haven't got a good reason are just plain heart less .
No because there's a difference between the two, a humans life experience changes his or her life opinions every moment. In my opinion putting a child for adoption is far better then to end its life.
she wanted her child to have a better life
that ain't heartless
and it wasn't an easy choice
@@thecreativemillenial yup not everyone is that hard headed or strong to do what this amazing mama did for her baby. Not all family is gonna give a shit and care and raise baby with their daughter , so people need to stop acting like every family dynamic is the same . Obvious if woman could keep baby she would’ve, she knew she couldn’t . Not like she was being “ Heartless” she was being smart and strong
God Bess her She shangeing the world one pic at a time Hugs from Colorado
i will not ever even think about giving my child up for adoption
For some mothers it's hard but the best choice, I'm adopted and so thankful to my birth mom. They want to give them the best life.
+Just_Me i understand that but i feel like everything has an effect if you have sex you might get pregnant or a disease if they cant afford kids or don't want them they shouldn't be having sex in the first place and i bet there teens because no grown woman in there right mind will give up a child thats my opinion
+Ninette Gonzalez 30 y.o. recently moved to a new neighbourhood, recently single, renting my home on a minimum wage job with just a little savings put aside. I know I can't afford to give this kid what it needs as a growing new born let alone what it will want (for example: more than 1 new pair of pants once every year or two, like I buy for myself)
i grew up poor and worked to support my parents and two sisters at 16, when my parents were injured in a crash. I never wanted my child to face poverty. and I have to choose, does my baby grow up in child care with nothing, hoping I can work hard enough to put aside money for his future and fast enough that I actually get to participate in his child hood and more importantly keep him from feeling poverty.
Or do I admit my failure, put him in the hands of an open adoption family and guarantee his security, his future, make a trust for him to have at 18, all while being able to witness and participate in his peaceful life as part of a family that has prepared for him and desperately wants him.
I'm not mentally instable, I'm acutely aware of my inadequacy and of my ability to give him much more by taking the back seat.
I just have to stop being greedy. I want him badly but I don't want to risk ruining his childhood, in open adoption I can be there.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling... 6 months along and I'm torn between what I want and what he needs. The feelings of guilt are terrible.
+Ninette Gonzalez That's good thinking!
I don't think you are being entirely factual when it comes to sex - birth control can always fail, it's never perfect, and just because a woman or girl gets pregnant doesn't tell you anything about her circumstances.
But if giving up your child is no option for you, then I am glad you know that and I hope you can stick to it. If you do unexpectedly get pregnant and need help, the group Saving Our Sisters (aka adoptionSOS, you can find them on facebook) may be able to help you with necessities and other things.
Please be also advised that many women do not choose to give up their children, but are manipulated, coerced and forced into it. It is not good to judge them for something they would not have done had they had some help. Those that perpetuate adoptions are the agencies and the people who want to adopt, and I can tell you, what those people will resort to to get their hands on a child is pure horror.
Amazing, selfless woman. And the adaptive parents are great people as well for allowing their baby's birth mom to be active in his life.
how amazing that this little boy has such a loving and caring support system in the 3 of you!!!!! he cannot fail with all of the love and support that he's receiving, he's blessed with more than most children
My mom was 14 when she had my brother, 16 with my sister 18 with me, and she kept us, that's strong but I can't hold this girl as a bad person, she was thinking of the baby. I don't think I would be able to have a baby and I'm 23. Good job girl, you aren't a bad person.
I don't think she's a bad person, either. By the way, I commend your mom for having three kids at such a young age, and being able to make it work. The younger you are when you have a child, the more difficult it can be.
yes it is,I remeber thosetime. thats why ilove her.. :-)
Emilse Elsnbach
Your mom sounds like a very wonderful person.
she is. now she's 41 Abbas a grandma of 6 :)
correction shes 41 and a grandma of 6 ,,,lol. but she is wonderful. thanks.
I love the adopted parents attitude.
.. I feel the same way I adopted three of my children out to the same family that I found on the internet through an adoption agency and is the best decision that I have ever made for my three youngest children
wait so the parents had 3 kids that they wanted to put up for adoption 3 times? or am i misinterpreting something???
+Vianey Bocardo what she meant is that she put her 3 youngest kids up for adoption and 1 family adopted all 3 of them
Sandy wow that’s worse. How can one make unwanted kids three times! 😦
@@sepdafodils omg shut up
We have a similar adoption. We definitely don’t coparent, but I hate if someone says she is not our daughters mom. I’m her regular day to day mom, but her birth mom is still her mom. She gave her everything she needs by letting me do it. She loves her and cares for her, she just couldn’t raise her.
I think this was such an important story. I appreciate her photo journalism story. It allows everyone to see how difficult this was for her. It's nice to see that it turned out well. I think that this could help other women who are struggling with similar situations.
I'd love to do this.
Adopt a child, I mean, but still have the mum in her life if that's what she wants.
Or send updates and pictures if that's what she wants.
Or have no contact at all if that's what she wants, but I would rather the birth mum have some contact.
So the child can know where she came from, know who her family is and hopefully forgive her mum for giving her up.
If the birth mum doesn't want to be around, I'd still have to tell my daughter she is adopted at some point, but hope that she understands and doesn't resent or get angry at me or her birth mum.
Little Leo is going to avoid all the abandonment issues some adopted or foster kids go through if this family keeps up this arrangement!
Because his birth mum is right there to explain things to him, answer any questions he has about why his mum couldn't keep him.
But she's still right there, visiting all the time, so he will know he's loved by all of his parents. ☺️
All of life is experienced at different levels and arrived at in stages. Callie like alot of young ppl don't feel that pressing need to have a family because at this time in her life her priority is college, but in just a few yrs when she's in love and married and has established her career wanting a baby might very well feel natural. And yes I remember her saying that she can't give the baby what he deserves, but he surely would get along fine with what you've shown you had for him even before he was born, Love. The adoptive mother said it herself, kids don't know at his age all the complications their parents are going through...........
She still might not want children though. It is her choice, she made a good decision.
My older brother,in1965 was adopted byy parents, what was so unusual was he had two sets of parents. Riley Grew up with two sisters and a mom and Dad. Then their was his mom,Dad,brother and 2 sisters.
In what was a pretty ordinary home their was an open adoption, he knew us all and loved having each of us in his life!
My mom and his birth mom would go to bingo together,the ocasional movie and when he became a teen argue over who had the better deal(lol) he never had to ask who his family was, their was never the typical worries over finding his birth parents, wondering if his syblings would like him or even if he would learn who his Dad was, he would spend time with 5 siblings and two sets of parents and no one ever worried about necomimg rejected. His biggest bennafit was double the presents on Christmas wich was also his birthday. I think open adootion left a lot of fears where they belonged (never needing an answer) Riley grew up knowing the love of each family and has many pictures with both families and today he is a stable father,husband and provider who can look at his bio siblings and say remember when we... as he can also do with us ..I believe open adootion is always in the best interest of the child ..it leaves amazing doors open to build long lasting amazing bonds, Love is not jealous and what Riley grew up with was unheard of in the 60's but it sure helped him form an amazing family.
He had every thing he needed because of open adootion....
This seems such a nice story now. Hope young girl will grown up one day and realize what she did wrong in life, and hope she doesnt go insane.... 😔 I hope she keeps up with the *No regrets line* god bless them.
I feel like the couple who adopted the child are just being nice. The birth mother is just TOO involved. But it's hard for them to say no because she gave them the gift of a child.
i'm sure the day will come when they will regret.
It's early on and she is post partum so I truly don't think they care. It's hard to have step parents because of jealousy etc etc but it still happens and ends up fine. And I don't think she will push for mote than what they allow since technically they CAN stop her from being involved if they wanted to and she wouldn't want that to happen. Most adopted children whether they hate or love their birth mother still end up looking for them when they're older. This kid will never have to do that or wonder what his mother looks like etc. Also.. U can't feel mad at your child being loved by one more parent. And I agree that SOMETHING will be hard in the future but it's the same way with step parents. Bio moms/dads have a hard time knowing they have another mother/father figure(and even call them mom/dad sometimes) but u get used to or over it when u realize NO ONE can replace u in the eyes of your child.
AsHLiegh STeVie MaRie-HoPe She is over there all the time trying to be a third parent. What she needs to realise is that her child has parents now and she needs to give them space to be that.
i think that as time will pass by and bio mom will get more busy with her life (work, travel, dating, having her own family etc) this level of involvement will no longer be there. in this video it has only been three months since she had the baby and the wound of giving him up is still fresh, that's why she is missing him this badly.
Elle Keener But keep in mind, the papers were not signed during this content..She signed them at 6 months..The adoptive parents can then cut some ties if they chose too.
I personally couldn't be that involved with my adoptive family I remember I told them that I need space when the baby is born so I can grieve. Everyone copes differently though, as long as it's best for him.
Very heart warming storie I hope it stays this way
I think the journalist asked the right question, and I hope Callie will quickly, willingly and wholeheartedly defer to Leo's mom and dad. This maybe harder for all three parents at times, but I think it is the right thing. I don't know what degree of openness is too open but generally I think open is good!
wow. beautiful story. God bless you and your family
She is a very precious young. Very mature for her age and very wise. She gave these people the greatest gift that anyone could receive. That is amazing to me. The birth parents are also wise and sweet. They have made the right decision to include her in their life. So, both parties are wise a d mature. This would not work for everyone. But in their case it's great. Love them all.
It works for me. I just hope the baby when grown to 6 years old doesn't use her real mom as a tool to get what she wants from her adopted family. Good luck.
Really such a wonderful story! But I find the interviewer extremely negative. As a teacher and mom I think this is what parenting of all types is about supporting guiding and loving the child. I respect that both the birth mother and parents are doing this. If only all homes were this loving and open minded, the world would be a much better place.
She was critical, like her comment “but it’s your baby” referring to adoptive parents.... she was so cold I agree
The story tore me up on one hand, because I was a birth mother. But then the story really lifted me when I saw how enlightened the situation can be. So the birth mother doesn’t have to suffer, worrying who her child is with and the adopting parents know who their child came from, and these extraordinary adopting parents, are so open hearted, mature and loving. Leo will be just fine. Blessings to them all.
that baby is so sweet
Seems like a delicate balance, but good for all of them for being open and receptive. A child can never have too many adults showering them with love. I hope for them that it continues to go well and that their strong foundation of trust and love allows for tactful and thoughtful communication when there comes a time that there are differences of opinion. Sometimes it's tricky enough with two parents. I would be interested to see how this develops. All the best to them.
I'm also doing adoption im very glad that I can because honestly I almost had an abortion! I'm doing closed adoption or private adoption though I really do find adoption to be a great thing if the adoptive couple are good people but everyone has their own opinion on this kind of thing
I’m glad the baby is being loved.
they are the perfect adoptive couple you only get one life and its great that they are letting her be a part of his life
Wow both the moms are so unique and beautiful inside and out. The birth mother Is soooooo gorgeous!!! The adoptive mom is so beautiful and humble and so respectful of the birth mom. What a wonderful story!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
I am crytinbg you don t need to be sorry
Children are put up for adoption often because the parent or parents can't afford to give the child a proper home, sometimes the mother is found later by the child and is homeless would you really want to be raised by a homeless parent sleeping under a bridge. So don't get mad because your adopted there are reasons your birth parents aren't there they may have died, been sick with huge medical bills, lost their spouse and their jobs lots of reasons they might not be able to take care of you so they or others if they died found someone or ones who could.
As a parent who lived outside of my kids home for 4.5 years, Callie is not having her cake and eating it too. She has given up a lot, some positive, some negative. And she has gained through the sacrifice, again, positive and negative. But I think this is what is best for Leo, which is what is most important.
This Mom has so much love she gave love .to parents that can help her .she was not selfish she . thought about that precious gift from God.that life .they can help her .and give the baby . every thing he needs . people want to adopt special needs children.if you don't want to be a mom .think about the children not you . adoption Care net pro life every thing is ok you can come and give life .May angels carry every single mom and expanted mom.through the . pregnancy . peace love in . every mom's heart despair agony pain be gone .if a violent relationship abuse addicts adoption that's .love .these people can help her .all the love to the family.she made the right decision .a precious gift to two . people .foster care .a family member who is helping you can help.
amazing story !!!! I am sure that if more adoptions could work like this and we could become more community parents things would have a much better outcome for all involved.xx
He's got beautiful parents.
I did this it was so hard 😢 my baby means the world but when you can't keep him you have to do what's best for your kid
I was adopted and HATE everything about it !!! I was placed where I didn’t have ANY family other than parents around. They treated their biological daughter much better especially at Christmas when her and her daughter would go shopping every year without me and I could write a book about the exact same thing !!!!!!
Caillie has given the best gift that no one could ever give. I know she struggled with her decision but at the end she put Leo first. Karen and Brian are wonderful humane beings to let Callie be so involved in Leo life. They're role models to baby Leo and other mom and birth parents who are considering and struggling through the same thing. I hope they're still close now and that everyone is doing great.
I don't care if I was poor or young, I could have never given my daughter up. She's my life! It breaks my heart just to think about it. I'd work my ass off, MAKE time for her. It's not the 40s ffs.
janella1980 So proud of you! Don’t know why people consider birth moms some kind of selfless angels! Damn giving up on the responsibility of raising your kids is not sacrifice! Giving up your dreams & working your ass off to raise them is sacrifice! This woman takes the cherry on the cake. No physical or financial responsibilities of the kid but proudly parades herself around as though this is an achievement! SMH 🤦♀️
no. How u gonna work and leave a baby alone ? And what if you didn’t have a home to leave said baby at? What you gon just leave the baby with a stranger and not pay em cause u barely make ends meet, you can’t start to make ends meet if you can’t even start, and you need $ to start. Not everyone has $ to start. You can’t just work and take a baby to work with you. And get this !!!!!! New shocker not everyone has support or family support. He’ll some family doesn’t give two shits and wouldn’t raise a finger to help not even for one day.
An incredible adoptive mom and dad! This benefits the baby. He is not going to have yearnings to meet his birth mom his whole life.
What a weird thing to say.
I hate the way everyone else seems "certain" that the future is fixed, that things will be like the past, that Leo doesn't have his own say in the way he loves all three of his parents - Unless you're splitting hairs, how is this any different than what some Italian families go through with all the aunts and uncles sometimes being *more* mom or *more* dad than their biological family - The fact that they're so loving of everyone together makes them a family - and Skype/technology makes it so the old rules of who is a friend or family is breaking down, being rewritten.
Couples are adopting internationally more often (or using donor eggs and surrogates), because domestic adoptions are now so ridiculously open that it's become, as they said in this video, "co-parenting". It's like the birth mother wants to find a guardian to fork out the money and time to raise the child (the actual, hard work of parenting), but wants the regular fun part of visiting and claiming a mother status. Some young women even expect the adopted parents to "parent" them by financially and emotionally supporting them too. It's gotten messed up. These adoptive parents don't realize that this highly progressive approach is not proven safe yet; long-term studies are still being conducted, but the confusion and stress caused to the child from this "co-parenting" is proving to be emotionally confusing and stressful to a child, much like co-parenting between divorced couples.
You are so right! It is like a child lease program! You get to have all of the titles and good stuff but someone else pays for everything and yet you don't get to really have the child! We will all see very soon that these kids and parents are going to be very messed up!
Completely agree! It is much like growing up in a broken home.
Leanne Mo Thankyou.
Oh look we have a human trafficker here
I am a birth mom and I agree. I heard another birth mom says the child she placed cried when she leaves. She wants to go with birth mom and siblings
How can you just give a part of you away?
Be more humble some people don’t have support and places to raise or even sort of live. What they supposed to do keep the baby on the street in the snow or rain????
Thanks for sharing your story.
I think this is awesome, I think she made the right choice. ive got 3 daughters and it is not easy when you first find out your pregnant. She did what she felt was right, and from her pictures and her story I think she did.
Beautiful story you have a big heart :) , the adoptive parents angels from above :) your are a very , important ,special mom 😊
Darice Ormerod The adoptive parent is the mom. Birth mother gave up her rights.
Thankfully the birthmother can have access to her baby.
The Uk social worker took my baby and put my baby up for forced adoption against my will and without my permission.
I wanted to keep my baby boy and social service said the baby was at risk of neglect. I wish i was given 7 days to say no to adoption but had no choice. this women in the video had a choice to change her mind. i wish i was in her shoes. In the uk there is no open odoption, you only get a letter and 1 photo once a year. i wish i had open adoption at least so i can see my son and help to raise him. some people are angry their birth parents gave them up but i never wanted to give up my child. i think its important to educate people about the powers social service have to remove your child forever without your permission.. i didnt even know about forced adoption, i had no clue before planning my pregnancy. i wish i knew in advance so i would have had time to flee the uk and go abroad where i would have had a better chance of keeping my child. spread the message and made people aware of forced adoption.
My mother also had a forced adoption. I knew my whole life I had a brother. I finally met him when I was 22 years old. It is the lost years that are saddest. I really hope you see your child again.
That is terrible! Why did they take away your baby? Was it due to your age or financial status??
Yup happens, that’s why this birth mom did what she did cause it’s better to KNOW where and WHAT and WHO and WHY and WHEN then to get baby stollen and snatched without any kind of explanation into forced adop. Or sucks but she did what she had too to avoid the kinda thing that happened to you possibly
I like this birthmum she's brilliant
Any way you look at it, Leo is so much better off than the majority of unwanted pregnancies. Many end in abortion. He had about a 4 in 10 chance of not being alive. Instead, he got 3 loving parents where most children get 1.
Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. And he isn't "better off" just because he was adopted - that has it's own issues, and being separated from his mother will never be entirely easy for him.
If you don't want unwanted pregnancies to be aborted, support the pregnant women and help them to keep their babies. You will never be able to stop those who do not want a child, but you can help those who do want a child but have to choose abortion because they can't provide for the child at that point in their lives.
Abortion is the choice not to become a mother. Adoption is the choice (ideally) not to raise your own child. But once it's born, you ARE the mother of a child with it's own rights.
For most women, giving away their babies is a painful decision they don't want to make. In contrast, an abortion may or may not make a woman feel guilty, but it won't have the same feelings as being separated from your living child.
And you you are speaking from experience or are you making assumptions? Experience, meaning you are 50 or 60 years old and realize that you have taken the life of your own child.
Guilt and loss often does not come to the young!
Me Me He is definitely not better off. Instead of having a normal life now he has to reconcile with the fact that he was given away and deal with his emotions in handling 2 women both claiming to be his mothers.
Also comparing abortion to adoption is absurd.
This is a wonderful story, this gave a new impression on adaption, between the relationship of the birth mother and the adoptive parents. Thank you for sharing this video with us.
Of all the stories I've seen on youtube this is the sweetist.
This is really out of the ordinary. The birth mom is of course important. Its weird. But Leo is so cute. And i am so glad she placed him for adoption.
Such an adorable baby
she should have kept her child..... i hate adoption
Not all parents support their kid and care, mine don’t, they say they do, they tell me not to keep baby, I am not capable etc. I hate it but I don’t do adoption for them I do it for me... it’s best for the baby. Like how would I care for baby without gov help or anywhere to go after baby was born??? It’s not so easy.
thats so beautiful.....3 carers is better than 2.. i think
This is as close to perfect that you can get it's impossible to get to much love.
i am weak when it comes to babies. :(
A 25 year old mom is young?
+Kirstine Otte There is no label that says 25 year old is too old or too young. Obviously, 25 is young-ER than a 30 year old, and a 25 year old is oldER than a 20 year old. In this case, whether a 25 year old is too young, is not the point. How young someone is does not define whether they can give their child the best life possible. The point that the young woman is making in the video is precisely what she said, which is that she could not give him the life he deserved, so she gave him to people who could.
Kirstine Otte Oh, I see!
In the USA, if you're upper middle class 25 is considered young to be a mother. Typically people from low socioeconomic backgrounds have children in their early 20's or earlier.
true, it's misleading. i would have expect a teenager.
The average age at which women in the U.S. have their first child is 25.2, according to a National Vital Statistics Report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
I think the perception of an ideal age to carry a child is changing. Most women at 25 years of age have already completed some sort of degree and have an understanding of the physical advantages such as: physical health, fertility, decreased % of genetic abnormalities and miscarriages. I personally wouldn't consider 25 as being young. This is just an opinion of a person who lives in your neighbouring country and has a stable socioeconomic status. ;)
being adopted myself, i don't know how i would be able to deal with an open adoption. I've never met my biological parents and don't know if i plan to. the trauma associated from later international adoptees ranges already and I've had some issues growing up bc of it. i personally don't know how i would deal with that. it seems like a bad idea to me
I don't understand... i would never do something like this but i respect if others do, although i don't get it, there is always hope there are alway opportunities and you can always make things happen fighting for them.
"I don't really think of him as 'MY BABY'". then why the hell did you adopt him?? she & her husband are allowing the birth mother too much involvement with this child.
There is no "too much involvement" between a mother and her child. These people respect the child they are raising and know they can't replace his mother and know that he needs her in his life.
If they can be so empathetic and respectful, I wonder why you have to be such an asshole.
As long as the mother doesn't ask for her child back after she is financially stable.
queen right!
+Alumnikiid which will probably happen. people are too naive. i think this will end up bad for everybody involved.
TheYasmineFlower she gave her child up for adoption you fucking idiot,so it's no longer "hers". if she wanted to be a mother so bad,she shouldn't have given her baby away. your stupidity is staggering lol
the thing is something is going to happen, theyre three different people, imagine how frequent the fights between a dad and a mom can be and then u add another mom into the mix. there will come a time that the couple will have to move away or the birth mom will have a family of her own and that is gonna be a real problem because youre trying to keep this small family together without thinking the other variables in the equation and its gonna be exhausting for all of them to make this work
If the adoptive parents move away and don't keep the child in contact with his mother, they should never have adopted in the first place.
The "birth mom" already has a family of her own. She has a child. Whether or not that child is being raised by other people, it is still her child and her family.
The child is also a different person from the adoptive parents. If they can't respect the person his mother is, they won't be able to respect the person the child is.
Anyone who adopts needs to know that they are not creating a new family, they are merging two and occasionally more families. And they need to know that actively merging those families by embracing the child's natural parents and relatives and their personalities, talents and interests is best for the child in question.
That is so ideal, I dont think its going to be effective in the long run. Most parents adopt because they want a kid, doesn't necessarily mean they'll also want an extended family. That is, most of the times, the reality.
Yasmine flower has a deluded fantasy that genetics mean instant good and happy emotions however that is not always the case. There have been mothers who killed their genetic children in cold blood.
beautiful story
Must be nice to have someone take care of and pay for your child and then come visit whenever you want with zero responsibility. Hope it all works out for them.